Handout For Feast Of Jewish Learning Perceptions For Partciants

Learning to deal with conflict: Changing our Perceptions Rabbi Avi Stewart, Jewish Study Network

I. Introduction: Who am I? What are we going to be doing this evening? What is this a picture of?

II. Perspectives: Please read and write down on the back the first thoughts that come to mind regarding this story. Write down your perspective. Story 1: People were sitting quietly, some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next

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Learning to deal with conflict: Changing our Perceptions Rabbi Avi Stewart, Jewish Study Network

to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. Story 2: Waiting in a long line at the grocery store, he sighed and tried to gauge the amount of time left before it would be his turn. Suddenly, he felt the cart behind him jam into his back. Taking a couple steps forward, he shook his head inwardly at the carelessness. Several moments later, he felt another jab. This one hurt. Trying to move out of harm's way, he shifted to the right and glanced at this watch. And once again, the cart behind him was pushed forward, slamming his back and legs. This was too much. III. Philosophical basis of these classes is the axiom that:

Life: the way we experience it determines our reality. The way we perceive our life and the things that we experience in the world around us is the way we think reality exists. This is limited, by definition, to our personal and limited perspectives. Challenge: My Self-perception, perceptions of G-d, and perceptions of others is limited to my eyes. My perspective. My eyes. My vision. Solution: By increasing self awareness and learning more about myself - I can better understand my perspective. By increasing awareness of others and

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Learning to deal with conflict: Changing our Perceptions Rabbi Avi Stewart, Jewish Study Network learning more about others – I can better understand their perspectives. IV. Book exercise – colored glasses V. Dove video see VI. Lighting - Guide for the Perplexed, by Moses Maimonidies VII. Judging Others: a. Ethics of our Fathers: 2:5

Hillel would say… Do not judge your fellow until you have stood in his place.

‫אל תדין את חברך עד‬ ‫שתגיע למקומו‬

b. 3 stories: 1. The nurse’s earing 2. Babysitting for the Feast of Jewish Learning

3 . Bar Mitzvah Photographer ‫ – את כ ל הא דם‬the entire person.

VIII. “I’ll be over soon…” IX. Getting lost: Street Map metaphor - 3 possible solutions:

Define empathy; Judging negatively. X. Subjectivity: Bull’s-eye metaphor

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Learning to deal with conflict: Changing our Perceptions Rabbi Avi Stewart, Jewish Study Network

XI. The Art of Listening:

a . Learning to Listen: The Odd Couple b. Building the Mishkan [Tabernacle]

‫ת למ וד בב לי מ סכ ת ב רכ ות דף נה עמ וד א‬ R. Samuel b. Nahmani said in the name of R. Johanan: Bezalel was so called on account of his wisdom. At the time when the Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moses; Go and tell Bezalel to make me a tabernacle, an ark and vessels, Moses went and reversed the order, saying, Make an ark and vessels and a tabernacle. Bezalel said to him: Moses, our Teacher, as a rule a man first builds a house and then brings vessels into it; but you say, Make me an ark and vessels and a tabernacle. Where shall I put the vessels that I am to make? Can it be that the Holy One, blessed be He, said to you, Make a tabernacle, an ark and vessels? Moses

‫אמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי‬ .‫ בצלאל על שם חכמתו נקרא‬:‫יונתן‬ ‫בש עה ש אמר לו הק דוש ב רוך‬ ‫ לך אמור לו‬:‫הוא למ שה‬ ‫לב צלאל עשה לי מש כן א רון‬ ‫ ואמר‬,‫ ה לך משה ו הפך‬,‫וכ לים‬ .‫ עשה אר ון ו כלים ומ שכן‬:‫לו‬ ‫ מנ הגו‬,‫ משה ר בינו‬:‫אמר לו‬ ‫ א דם בונה ב ית‬- ‫של ע ולם‬ ,‫וא חר כך מ כניס ל תוכו כ לים‬ ‫ עשה לי אר ון‬:‫וא תה אומ ר‬ ‫וכ לים ו מש כן! כ לים שא ני‬ ‫ להי כן אכ ניסם? ש מא‬- ‫עו שה‬ :‫כך א מר לך ה קדוש ברוך ה וא‬ ‫ א מר‬.‫עשה מש כן א רון וכ לים‬ ‫ ש מא ב צל אל ה יית‬:‫לו‬ !‫ויד עת‬

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Learning to deal with conflict: Changing our Perceptions Rabbi Avi Stewart, Jewish Study Network replied: Perhaps you were in the shadow of God and knew! XII. Married Couples: The Angry Couple – Susan and Richard XIII. Workshop Exercises Spectrum of Questions and their Values

a . Yes/No Q’s = low value

b. One factoid = slightly higher value\ c. Rich open Q’s = very high value Starters for open ended questions: W

I

D

T

H

What

If

Descri be for me…

Tell me How

How

W HAT I F D ESCRIBE FOR ME T ELL ME H OW Probing Triangle [What, which and why?]

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