Fulcrum -- Moviemaking (03/26/09)

FÉUO SFUO Fédération étudiante Student Federation

www.sfuo.ca

CAMPUS REPORT March 27th 7 P.M. to 7 A.M. in the UCU

OPEN 7 days a week 8 am to 8 pm

located in the basement of Simard

DURING EXAMS!

$35 Fees… What the Whatthe !*%@?

fair trade, green, alternatives

cafe alt

DEADLINE: OCTOBER 30, 2008 ENTRY FORMS AND FURTHER INFORMATION AVAILABLE ONLINE

OPEN Campaigns Committee Meeting

April 2nd [email protected]

uOttawa is unjustly taking your money!

For more information email [email protected]

Pandamonium Metric + Malajube Get your tickets today!

$10

April 1st

Terminus Party! Final Toonie Tuesday April 7th @ 1848

The SFUO is HIRING Be ea an employee em e of the Student Federation, Feder this summer and / or next year

You can work on campus, in a bilingual, motivating and exciting environment! As of May 1st, there will be dozens of vacant positions in your ten student services, the main SFUO office, your five student businesses and more.

www.jobs.sfuo.ca All job postings, deadlines and requirements are on this website.

So what are you waiting for?

Apply today! Camp Fortune, April 9th

End of the Year Bash buses at 8pm in front of Thompson

$5

(SFUO office)

Letters Renaud the phenomenon

“What has been set in motion by Garner is an impressive and unprecedented student political phenomenon...”

Kevin Létourneau Third-year political science and history student

Contents I’ll take the win for $50,000, Alex

News

Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister is the U of O’s own Amy Marlene Robichaud. p. 4

p. 4

Allan Rock looks back on his first eight months in the top job. p. 5

The collective approach

Arts

March 26–April 1, 2009 whether I should be writing this letter. Regardless, I believe in quiet and institutional protest which has been Garner’s practice to date. He is rightly flexing the political muscles that are ours as students. This might be an opportunity for students to learn and to realize their true force as political beings on this campus. Kevin Létourneau Third-year political science and history student My student rights I WRITE THIS letter in response to the so-called coalition of 552 students that sent out an unofficial mass email on March 16 regarding grading practices at the U of O. This is my declaration of my rights as a student. I have the right to not have militant ideology shoved down my throat. I have the right not to be harassed online. I have the right to disagree with certain views without feeling patronized. I have the right to pursue my education without being interrupted by a group of individuals who refuse to bring forward their case in a reasonable manner. Your email is an amalgamation of twisted words and questionable sources: for example, the supposed “anti-grading” articles. Did you even read these articles? They are written by students who have qualms about grading, but are not manifestos

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“Paint your face and hop on a bus! Show some spirit! Your crosstown rivals sure did.”

Jim McNabb U of O alumnus

against the entire grading process. They should not be used to support a conspiracy theory. Also, do you really consider an article in Maclean’s an admissible source? If you presume to inform me that the rights I present are being violated by the “hierarchy,” which you do, I will say one thing: do not attempt to tell me when my rights are being violated, which is what you are doing with your entire “campaign.” I am not a sheep, nor am I an idiot. I think independently, and I do not need a group of ideologues with no intellectual backing to tell me when my rights are threatened. The logical and reasonable portion of the U of O, which is most of the student body and faculty, is against you. Most of us here want to focus on our education. Though you may say otherwise, we think it will be useful in the future. Carmen Michael Grillo Second-year political science and economics student

I enjoyed watching several of their games including the consolation final at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport championships in Ottawa March 12– 15. However, I was very disappointed at the fan turnout for their games at the championships. There should have been thousands of students at each of their games. I can understand the lack of support if the tournament had been in Halifax or Vancouver, but it was in Ottawa. Paint your face and hop on a bus! Show some spirit! Your crosstown rivals sure did. Prospects are good for next year on the court. I hope next year’s students can do better. Jim McNabb U of O alumnus

[email protected]

DURING THE PRESIDENTIAL campaign in the United States, former secretary of state Henry Kissinger described Barack Obama as an interesting phenomenon because of his lack of experience. I believe that what has happened over the course of the last month or so at the University of Ottawa, especially in regards to the personality of Renaud-Philippe Garner, can be qualified in those terms. It is literally a phenomenon that has many students talking. What has been set in motion by Garner is an impressive and unprecedented student political phenomenon which should be studied further. For once there is a student who is actively pursuing what he believes to be the right course of action, but it is his methods that remain paramount. This is a student who is exercising his rights as a student and as protected by the constitution. He is challenging institutions, rules, and systems that are in place but which are rarely questioned or looked into.

It is an interesting notion because it begs the question about legitimacy on a number of different levels, institutional efficiency and practice, and the political rights of all implicated. It has set the stage and has put the system in which we have faith to the test. Like a good documentary, it puts the values and beliefs of which we are sometimes ignorant—because they are taken for granted as being correct and because the status quo is often the safe zone—to the test. It is important that people bring forth these issues because otherwise students will forever remain blind to these sorts of legal and political ambiguities which stand critically unchallenged. Sometimes it does take a maverick to stand alone and protest. Though I was an official volunteer for Garner in the election, I practically did not partake as I was swept up with schoolwork and other volunteer work which was going on at the same time as the elections. I have been in the dark as to what’s been going on, only having a vague idea through newspaper readings and meetings about past events. I therefore don’t know

Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected]

Where’s the support? CONGRATULATIONS TO THE Gee-Gees men’s basketball team. They had a great run this year and

thefulcrum.ca poll This week’s question Last week’s question What is your favourite part of spring? Outdoor exercise: New wardrobe: Not freezing walking to class:

Do you believe that SFUO executives voting on their SAC appeal is a conflict of interest? 89% 11%

Yes: No:

Maria Rondon explores Ottawa’s independent film collective. p. 9

p. 9

Nick Rudiak is strong enough for The Weakerthans. p. 13

Go to thefulcrum.ca to vote

I want to ride

Sports

Get ready for summer and dust off your bicycle with our guide to Ottawa cycling. p. 18

p. 18 Feature

Women’s hockey team can’t muster a win at national championship. p. 19

Ever wanted to know how to... ...start a revolution, write a novel, or found the world’s greatest rock band? p. 14–15

p. 14

Di deals with peen hood. p. 26

Got something to say? Business Department The Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa’s independent English-language student newpaper, is published by the Fulcrum Publishing Society (FPS) Inc., a not-for-profit corporation whose members consist of all University of Ottawa students. The Board of Directors (BOD) of the FPS governs all administrative and business actions of the Fulcrum and consists of the following individuals: Ross Prusakowski (President), Andrea Khanjin (Vice-President), Tyler Meredith (Chair), Peter Raaymakers, Nick Taylor-Vaisey, Toby Climie, Scott Bedard, Andrew Wing, and William Stephenson. To contact the Fulcrum’s BOD, contact Ross Prusakowski at (613) 562-5261.

Advertising Department Deidre Butters, Advertising Representative phone: (613) 880-6494 fax: (613) 562-5259 e-mail: [email protected] Check out our rate card online. Go to www.thefulcrum.ca and follow the link for “Advertisers”. Multi-market advertisers: Campus Plus: (800)265-5372 Campus Plus offers one-stop shopping for over 90 Canadian student newspapers. The Fulcrum is a proud member of Canadian University Press: www.cup.ca

Send your letters to

[email protected] Letters deadline: Sunday, 1 p.m. Letters must be under 400 words unless discussed with the editor-in-chief. Drop off letters at 631 King Edward Ave. or email [email protected]. Letters must include your name, telephone number, year, and program of study. Pseudonyms may be used after consultation with the editor-in-chief. We correct spelling and grammar to some extent. The Fulcrum will exercise discretion in printing letters that are deemed racist, homophobic, or sexist. We will not even consider hate literature or libellous material. The editor-in-chief reserves the authority on everything printed herein.

News

Emma Godmere News Editor [email protected] March 26–April 1, 2009

Trudeau, Harper, and now Robichaud?

U of O student crowned Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister

GSAÉD elections turnout raises the bar Voter attendance sees 2.4 per cent increase from last year

by Amanda Shendruk Fulcrum Staff COULD YOU KEEP a $50,000 secret for over a month? Fourth-year University of Ottawa politics and public administration student Amy Marlene Robichaud can. The winner of the CBC reality show Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister, which pitted contestants aged 18–25 against each other to see who had the right stuff to be Canada’s next leader, Robichaud had to keep her $50,000 first-place secret for over a month. Filmed on Feb. 10, the CBC show didn’t air until March 18. “Keeping the secret was overwhelming,” laughed the 21-year old Calgary native. “I’m terrible at keeping secrets.” On March 18, Canadians watched Robichaud and three other finalists show off their political prowess—giving speeches, proposing policies, and reacting to hypothetical situations—in front of four past prime ministers and Jeopardy! host and U of O alumnus Alex Trebek. The panel of prime ministers consisted of Joe Clark, Kim Campbell, Brian Mulroney, and Paul Martin. “They’re so intimidating and also so human at the same time,” Robichaud said, describing the former leaders. The prime ministers commented and provoked debate throughout the hour-long show, but ultimately it was the studio audience that selected the winner via in-studio vote. Robichaud captured 50 per cent of the audience vote. The runner-up was Robert Marsh, a 23-yearold from Dartmouth, N.S. David Suk of Toronto took third place and Gabriel Lopez of Montreal finished fourth. “[On the show] I was exactly who I am on a regular basis, and I think that that was something the audience could relate to,” Robichaud said when asked why she thought the audience eventually chose her. Chosen by Environics Research Group, the in-studio audience was selected to represent the demographic makeup of Canada. Robichaud’s road to the prime-ministerial position began in September 2008 when she was only the second entrant in a competition that eventually gathered just under 200 applications. Following months of online debates, phone interviews, and public service challenges, Robichaud found herself in the semifinals— ready to spend three days at political boot camp with nine other young Canadians fighting for a spot in the top four. “The [boot camp] challenges were intense … There were cameras on you 24/7,” she said. During boot camp, the top 10 of young political hopefuls debated policy and politics, hoping to be chosen as a finalist by CBC producers. Robichaud indicated that participants in the three-day elimination process were respectful. “There’s no better way to test your political

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by Amanda Shendruk Fulcrum Staff

photo by Martha Pearce

Amy Marlene Robichaud received $50,000 and a variety of internships for her first-place finish on Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister. mettle than to put yourself in a room with nine Graeme Cunningham grabbed the runner-up other people who are equally passionate but position in the contest. Additionally, 2007–08 have different views from you, and talk.” SFUO president Pam Hrick came in second In addition to the $50,000 in prize money, place in last year’s show and was working beRobichaud won paid internships at Magna In- hind the scenes at this year’s competition. ternational, the Dominion Institute, and the “I think Amy did a fantastic job of representCanada-U.S. Fulbright Program. She will com- ing the University of Ottawa and women in the plete her U of O undergraduate degree in July, competition as well,” said Hrick. “There weren’t and hopes to start the internships in October. a whole lot of female applicants, but I thought “I’m a pragmatist to the very end,” explained Amy did a fantastic job. I thought she nailed the Robichaud. “A bit of [the prize money] has been questions and she was a great representative for put away in GICs, a bit of it will go to pay off the university and for women.” my car loan, and a bit will just go to moving exRobichaud doesn’t know where this win penses to get down to Toronto and to get set up might take her, but she is certainly not worried there for the internships.” about the future. Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister has not “I have so many doors open right now, I can’t seen the end of Robichaud. She hopes to be in- wait to find out which one I get to walk through,” volved behind the scenes in the contest next year. she said. “I really think politics is a noble calling “I want to see what I can do to put some more and I would be really privileged one day if I had emphasis on recruiting women into the competi- the opportunity to run for office and represent tion next year,” she said. Of the nearly 200 appli- Canadians, my neighbours, and my family. cants for the 2009 show, only 16 were female. “I’m 21, I’m about to graduate, I have employThe U of O seems adept at producing prime- ment lined up and I have money in the bank,” ministerial material. In 2007, U of O student she continued. “I’m happy right now.”

EIGHT PER CENT of all graduate students showed up March 17–19 to cast their ballots in the University of Ottawa Graduate Student Association (GSAÉD) elections. Three hundred sixty-six voters elected their representatives for the 2009–10 academic year, a 2.4 per cent increase over the 5.6 per cent graduate participation in the 2008–09 elections, which were perilously close to not meeting the 5 per cent requirement for quorum. “We’re pretty happy with [the increase],” said Désirée Lamoureux, chief returning officer for the elections. “We did work pretty hard to get the vote out—we hit the pavement and handed out granola bars, and had coffee incentives.” In order to draw votes, the GSAÉD offered free coffee and snacks for voters. The GSAÉD executive for 2009–10 will consist of Gaétan-Philippe Beaulière as external commissioner, Myriam Hebabi as university affairs commissioner, Breanna Roycroft as internal commissioner, and incumbents Gerardo Barajas Garrido and Tansy Etro-Beko returning to the finance and student life commissioner positions, respectively. All executive positions were uncontested. “I think all of the newly elected executive members are really excited about next year,” said Beaulière, following the announcement of the election results on March 19 at Café Nostalgica. Along with voting for the GSAÉD executive, students also cast ballots for two graduate seats on the U of O Senate and the one graduate seat on the Board of Governors (BOG), all of which were contested. Incumbent Julia Morris will return to her BOG position for another two years, and incumbent Matthew Mount reclaimed his sciences Senate seat. This will be Mount’s third year in the Senate. The humanities Senate seat will be filled by newcomer Paratoo Jashmidi. “I really had no idea how tonight would go, and it was great,” said Jashmidi. “It was great seeing the support that I had.” Graduate students also voted on one referendum question, which asked whether or not they were willing to pay $9 per semester (for full-time students) or $4.50 per semester (for part-time students) to the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) in order to have access to their nine services, such as the Bilingualism Centre and the Women’s Resource Centre. Graduate students voted 59.6 per cent in favour of the referendum question. “I think it’s very good that it did pass, because they’re programs that graduate students have been using [but] have been paid for by the SFUO ... Graduate students need to start contributing [to them] if they want to use these programs,” said Lamoureux.

A ‘learning’ year Rock reflects on first year as U of O president by Emma Godmere Fulcrum Staff AS THE 2008–09 academic year winds down, so do University of Ottawa President Allan Rock’s first eight months in office. The former Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) president, federal cabinet minister, and ambassador to the United Nations has faced several challenges and enjoyed a handful of successes in the first year on the job—but certainly has plans to do much more in his remaining three years as president. Rock sat down with the Fulcrum to discuss the year that has passed and the months that lie ahead. Fulcrum: What were your original expectations for the U of O president position? Has the job lived up to them? Rock: It has lived up to my expectations completely. What I expected it to be was complex and challenging, but very personally rewarding and satisfying [and] enormously interesting, and it’s all of that. It’s a very complex job. There are many constituencies, many moving parts to this operation. There are different people with different expectations, whether it’s the personnel, the support staff, [the] professors, their unions, students themselves, or their associations ... all these different actors in this one place have different perspectives, different aspirations, sometimes conflicting objectives too ... It’s very multi-faceted, but it’s extremely interesting. There’s never a dull moment. It’s the first time, I think, [that] I’ve been an actual CEO. I’ve been a lawyer and acted for clients, I’ve been a minister in government, but that’s [a] sort of member of a team, and I’ve been an ambassador reporting back to a government, but I’ve never quite before had ultimate responsibility for the management of an operation. You’ve had encounters with several students surrounding different issues this year, namely surrounding Senate transparency. Have these encounters perhaps tarnished your impression of the student body as a whole? I’m trying very hard to make sure they don’t. I like and respect the students who are running the [SFUO] and [the Graduate Students’ Association (GSAÉD)]. I work very well with them. [I] don’t always see eye-toeye with them, but [I] like and respect them and really enjoy working with them. I have a huge amount of respect for students generally; I know how hard they’re working ... sometimes under difficult circumstances. They’ve demonstrated their confidence in this place by turning up here, paying tuition, and studying. They’re going to walk away with a degree from this university. They’re investing something in us; it’s their confidence and their faith that [will ensure that their] degree is worthy. And I have an extremely positive attitude toward my job, toward my responsibilities, and toward my working environment. So I’m not going to let unpleasant experiences interfere with

that. I’m just not going to do it, it’s just not right. I’m going to focus on the positive, I’m going to focus on what there is to do, I’m going to focus on the 35,991 students in this place who want to make it a better university, who want to confront real issues, who want to engage in rational dialogue, who want to criticize me when I get it wrong or miss something—but do it in ways so I can take it on board, learn from it, and try to improve. Have some of those experiences been burdens? Do you feel you’ve been faced with any other burdens this year? I wouldn’t say they were a burden, I’d say they were a distraction. I didn’t always handle them as well as I should have, but I’m learning on the job. Were there other burdens this year? I think the financial situation in the world, generally, has made it more difficult for us to raise money. That’s been a worry. Our income is down because our endowment is diminished; the income we get from our investments is down because interest rates are lower, and it’s harder now when you go to donors and you say, ‘May I have some money?’ They often say, ‘Well, I have to wait until my bottom line stops moving.’ It’s not as easy as it was to raise money out there during the roaring 90s or the first part of this decade, so that’s been a worry. Apart from that, well, we haven’t had a [vicepresident] external. That’s been less than optimal. We [hadn’t] had a [vice-president] of governance until [acting VP Governance Nathalie Des Rosiers] was kind enough to come in on an interim basis, and she’s made a big difference. So [lacking those two positions has] been a bit of a drawback.

“I think this year [has] been a year to lay foundations and to point directions and also to learn.”

You are indeed currently faced with several vacancies in the upper administration. How are you planning to move into the next year, facing such a situation? Well, just as it’s been a complication not to have a full team, at the same time it’s an opportunity to build a team. I’m enormously sorry to see [U of O VP Academic] Robert Major retire because he’s a giant in terms of academic leadership on this campus; he’s a remarkable intellectual with, I think, an unmatched insight into the culture and traditions of this university and its academic standards ... But do you know what? We’re going to have a new [vice-president] academic, we’re going to have a brand new [vice-president] ex-

photo by Frank Appleyard

ternal, and we’re going to have a new [vice-president] governance. In a sense, I get the chance to build a new team, and that’s very exciting, that’s a real opportunity. So there’s an upside to that transition as well, not just a downside. What do you feel have been the U of O’s biggest accomplishments this past year? I’m not sure I’d say ‘accomplishments’, because I don’t think I can say something is actually completed and on the shelf and done ... I think this year [has] been a year to lay foundations and to point directions and also to learn. I feel like I’ve come a long way since last July in terms of introducing myself to the academic community and to people on campus; people have a better sense of who I am and where I want to go. I also think that I’ve had a chance to articulate what direction I want to go [in] with this university. I want it to be a global university, bringing in more students from overseas, sending more of our students to other countries during their studies, linking our researchers with networks of excellence around the world—putting the University of Ottawa on the world map. I want to continue our growth ... [but] when I say I want to continue to grow, I mean I want to work toward the day when we can have the buildings we need, where our laboratories are state of the art, where we’re ahead of our needs in that regard. I’d like to see the day when we have a sports stadium on campus that we can be

proud of and enjoy, where we can have a convocation hall on campus for music concerts, for our convocation so we don’t have to go and rent space elsewhere, and I’d like to see a day where we fill out the space here and make it more of a contiguous and continuous community rather than being broken up by streets with cars on them. I’d like to get to the point where we fill in the campus here in this neighbourhood and make it more integrated. And I look forward to the day when every student who’s here believes that they’re having the best years of their lives on this campus, and they’re going to leave here feeling they’ve had a truly remarkable experience: they’ve been exposed to great minds, they’ve been challenged, they’ve been given opportunities that would broaden them, they’ve dealt with a university that valued them, responded to them in a caring way, was concerned about their outcomes and what they were becoming and where they were going and help them along that way. In all, do you feel prepared transitioning from this year into the next? Everything I’ve lived since I’ve gotten here has confirmed my first impression, which is that it’s a great job, it’s a terrific environment to work in, and I consider myself very lucky. So I’ll continue doing my best, my apprenticeship will continue—and what’s a university if not a place to learn, including for the president?

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

NEWS // 5

Grand opportunity U of O grad takes reins of new ByWard restaurant by Frank Appleyard Fulcrum Staff WHEN THE DOORS swing open to the ByWard Market’s newest restaurant in May, there will be a distinct University of Ottawa influence behind the establishment. Stephen Mitchell, an alumnus of the U of O’s Telfer School of Management, was recently hired to manage The Grand, an upscale pizzeria being unveiled at 74 George St. by the same company behind Market favourites Empire Grill and Métropolitain Brasserie. However, pizzerias and lecture halls wouldn’t have ranked too highly in the 26-year-old’s plans only a handful of years ago. Born just outside of Ottawa in Embrun, Ont., Mitchell committed his early life to pursuing a professional hockey career; however, at 20, while playing for the Michigan Ice Dogs—an amateur team in Detroit— Mitchell came to a crossroads. “After playing [in Detroit] for a year I realized that hockey for me may not be a career opportunity in the sense that the guys that were really good, you [knew] they were going

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to make it,” he said. “A lot of us had to make decisions as to whether this was something we wanted to pursue, or we wanted to go back to school and maybe do something else.” Mitchell decided to leave the game he grew up playing and forge a new path, enrolling in Algonquin College’s business program. “My goal the entire time was to go to university and get my commerce degree,” said Mitchell. “My brother James went to Carleton University and he’s now a Chartered Accountant. He was somebody that I always looked up to as doing something that I wanted to be able to do.” After graduating from Algonquin College, Mitchell made good on his goal and was accepted into the U of O’s bachelor of commerce program, eventually serving as a head teaching assistant under Telfer School of Management Assistant Dean Peter Koppel. However, Mitchell’s experiences at the U of O only tell half the story. The ambitious business student had to finance his studies himself, and after growing tired of working behind a desk at a local marketing company, Mitchell walked into Empire Grill seeking a new job. He left with a serving position. In the four years since he started at the upscale restaurant, Mitchell has steadily climbed the

\\ 03.26.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

ladder, bartending, supervising, and ultimately managing at Empire Grill until his graduation from the U of O in spring 2008. After splitting his time between the U of O and Empire Grill, the parallels between the two were not lost on Mitchell. “When I was Koppel’s TA, I would often try to talk about the constant interaction I would have with clients [at Empire Grill], and relate it to the presentation skills I was teaching in his course,” he said of Koppel’s course, which focuses on building public speaking and presentation skills. When the owners of The Grand were in search of a manager for their fledgling project, they turned to Mitchell, who had both experience within the company and a commerce degree. Mitchell felt that his experience at the U of O best prepared him to take on the management challenge presented by The Grand. “The leadership development program at Telfer is something that I’m continuously reflecting upon in terms of how I want to carry myself as a manager,” he said. “I have to hire and train over 80 people, many of whom won’t have restaurant experience. It’s a pretty overwhelming task to have all those people put under my wing in a brand new place.” GRAND continued on p. 8

photo by Frank Appleyard

Telfer alumnus Stephen Mitchell stands in the under-construction restaurant The Grand, which will open at 74 George St. in May.

Vote of confidence

A rose by any other name couldn’t have done a better job

Emma Godmere News Editor THIS YEAR HAS been a tumultuous one for the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) executive. In November, we saw the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) referendum, which stirred up controversy when several SFUO employees—including VP Student Affairs Danika Brisson, who was a ‘Yes’ committee chairperson—were accused of campaigning on paid time. In December and January, the executive encountered backlash after President Dean Haldenby expressed the SFUO’s solidarity with the striking OC Transpo transit union that affected thousands of students. Most recently, after the February 2009–10 SFUO executive elections wrapped up, three candidates filed an appeal with the Student Arbitration Committee, claiming four of the winning candidates—including

current VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe, VP Communications Julie Séguin, and VP Finance Roxanne Dubois—formed a slate and violated the SFUO’s constitution. On top of that, Wolfe, Séguin, and Dubois were widely criticized for voting in favour of altering their appeal process at a recent Board of Adminstration (BOA) meeting, as many considered the action to be a blatant conflict of interest. A petition demanding the impeachment of the entire executive has since been launched. As the year is winding down, the undergraduate student body is increasingly disenchanted and disgruntled with their SFUO. However, VP Social Joël Larose seems to be immune from this outcry. Regardless of the SFUO political faux-pas du jour, students still lined up at 1848 to watch the variety of events and bands the U of O has hosted this year. They still engaged in friendly competition during the Guerre des Tuques snow fort-building competition and the recent Dance Series. And they will still cap off the year with a bang at the End of the Year Bash at Camp Fortune and the Pandamonium concert, at the Civic Centre. In fact, this year’s Pandamonium is already creating a lot of buzz on the U of O campus. The star-studded lineup has been finalized and includes Bedouin Soundclash, Malajube, and the ever-popular Metric. There are more students clamouring for $10 tickets to the April 1 event than there are signing the online SFUO

executive impeachment petition. It takes one dedicated and drama-free guy to look past all of the SFUO gaffes and grudges and create some climactic year-end events to shake students free of stress. This is one of the many reasons why Larose deserves kudos for all he’s done this year. He is the sole member of the SFUO executive who has stayed out of petty politics and chaotic controversy to do his job, and do it well. Most recognizably, during the CFS referendum Larose successfully removed himself from the campaigning other employees were participating in. He’s proven that you can still be an individual and that you don’t need to give up your own unique goals, ideas, and platform promises to work within the politically charged executive. By planning one of the best 101 Weeks and year-long social calendars this campus has seen in a long time, the 2008–09 vp social gave this campus something new and exciting to talk about—something other than petty student politics. If anything, Larose may be the saving grace for this year’s executive. Here’s hoping undergraduate students will walk away from this year remembering more of the events they participated in, and less of the shameful politics they witnessed. [email protected] 613-562-5260

News in brief Late fees spark possible class-action suit WINNIPEG (CUP) – A UNIVERSITY OF Manitoba student has filed a statement of claim against the U of M on the grounds that its late tuition payment fee policy is unfair. If successful, the class-action lawsuit filed by student Patricia Kelley on March 6 will not lead only to the reimbursement for the plaintiff, but to all students who were obliged to pay a late tuition payment fee of $50. The fee represents an interest rate that “is criminally high,” according to Norman Rosenbaum, the lawyer assigned to represent Kelley. Rosenbaum estimates the number of students who have paid the fee could be more than 100,000. If the case continues to argue that all students who have paid the late fee be reimbursed, the university could owe millions. John Danakas, U of M director of public affairs, says a lawsuit will not be necessary because the late fee is not collected as interest, but rather a flat administration fee. The U of M plans to file its statement of defense, a legal response to Kelley’s statement, in late March. —Patrick Gratton, The Manitoban

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Avis important aux étudiants qui ont un prêt d’études

Are you graduating or taking more than six months off from school?

Tu termines tes études ou tu les interromps pendant plus de six mois ?

If you are not returning to full-time studies this fall, you will need to contact us to discuss repayment options:

Si tu ne retournes pas aux études à temps plein l’automne prochain, tu dois communiquer avec nous afin de discuter des options de remboursement.

• Call the National Student Loans Service Centre at 1-888-815-4514 (TTY for the hearing impaired: 1-888-815-4556). If you think you might have trouble paying back your integrated student loan, there are programs available to help you stay on track. Ask about the repayment options available to you. For example, the new Repayment Assistance Plan will ensure the federal portion of your payments will never be higher than what you can reasonably afford. Visit the Spotlight On section of CanLearn.ca for details.

• Appelle le Centre de services national de prêts aux étudiants, au 1-888-815-4514 (téléimprimeur pour malentendants : 1-888-815-4556). Si tu crois que tu pourrais avoir de la difficulté à rembourser ton prêt d’études intégré, des programmes s’offrent à toi afin de t’aider à maintenir le cap. Renseigne-toi au sujet des possibilités de remboursement qui te sont proposées. Dans le cadre du nouveau Programme d’aide au remboursement (PAR), par exemple, tu seras assuré que la fraction fédérale de tes versements ne dépassera jamais un montant raisonnablement abordable pour toi. Pour plus de détails, visite la section En vedette du site cibletudes.ca.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

NEWS // 7

GRAND continued from p. 6 When it opens in May, The Grand—located in the George Street heritage building recently vacated by Oregano’s—will tear down any preconceived Canadian perceptions of pizzerias, according to Mitchell. “It’s going to be an authentic Italian pizzeria and bar,” he said. “The North American thought process of the pizzeria is walking in and getting a slice and a pop for $2.50. But in Italy, a pizzeria can be a very high-end restaurant.” For his part, Mitchell identified why he has become so attached to the restaurant industry and the promise of The Grand in particular. “It’s because I thrive on the fact that everyday I come to work it’s always something different, and I’m always meeting new people,” he said. “Entrepreneurialism has always been in my blood, and taking on this general manager position I think is one step closer to ... owning my own restaurant.”

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8 \\ NEWS

\\ 03.26.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

Arts & Culture

Peter Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected]

March 26–April 1, 2009

9

Ottawa’s reel deal

The IFCO provides education and tools for aspiring filmmakers by Maria Rondon and Peter Henderson Fulcrum Staff FILMMAKING IS AN expensive business. A new 35mm camera can cost upwards of $50,000, and editing and sound equipment only adds to the price tag. For amateurs with cinematic aspirations, the astronomical cost of making a film often stands in the way of fulfilling those dreams. However, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Enter the Independent Filmmakers Cooperative of Ottawa (IFCO). The IFCO was created in the summer of 1991 by five aspiring Ottawa filmmakers: Monica Szentesky, Scott Galley, Wayne Meade, David Chow, and Glen Cross. The founders wanted to provide themselves and other filmmakers in the Ottawa region with the tools and skills necessary for film production by splitting the cost of equipment among a large membership and providing education in filmmaking techniques. The collective’s manifesto states that the purpose of the IFCO is “to develop, support and sustain an innovative and diverse Ottawabased community of artists.” The collective is now run by three full-time staff members: executive director Patrice James, technical director Roger Wilson, and membership coordinator Tasha Waldron. The 130-member collective, located in the Arts Court (2 Daly Ave.), is currently funded by yearly memberships and rental fees. Memberships are $40 for students and $80 for the general public, and allow access to the many resources the IFCO has to offer. A member needs to complete at least 20 hours of volunteer work for full membership, at which point he or she receives a 50 per cent discount on all equipment rentals, among other perks. The IFCO also puts on workshops devoted to teaching members about aspects of film production, including sound recording, editing, film theory, and lighting. Any member of the IFCO can attend these workshops for a fee, and students receive a discount. The collective also offers

more basic workshops for the general public. “We do it all,” says Wilson, who runs many of the workshops. “The use of cameras, sound recording, and even [how to] hand process film.” One of the best perks of full membership is access to financial grants. The IFCO gives out a small number of grants to new and established Ottawa filmmakers each year to help pay the fees for use of the IFCO’s facilities. “[The grants are meant] to encourage and help [the] IFCO’s members with their productions,” says James. “It’s not cash in hand, but it’s towards equipment and supplies—film stock or film transfer. We have mini-grants for new filmmakers after they gain full membership, and we also have major grants for the senior producing members or a filmmaker who has made at least a couple of shorts.” Although the IFCO disburses its own grants, it encourages its members to seek out help from all levels of government. The cooperative runs grant-writing workshops to educate members on the money available from different levels of government and provides services outside of those workshops for filmmakers who want to learn about their funding options. “If they want to seek out other sources of funding, we point them in the right direction,” explains James. “Depending on what level they’re at, they can try to apply for a grant from the City of Ottawa, from the Ontario Ad Council, or from the Canada Council for the Arts if they’re a little bit more [experienced]. There are a few different avenues for grants that they can access, and we try to teach them how to do that.” David Doucette, a fourth-year film studies student at Carleton University, has participated in several workshops and finds the IFCO a useful resource for furthering his film education. Though he studies film theory in school, he believes that the IFCO teaches him the actual applications of what he’s learning. “It’s really great for aspiring filmmakers and for people who want to learn,” he says. “It’s especially great for those who want to [learn] how to shoot [on film].” After completing his 20 hours of volunteer work and gaining full membership to the collective last year, Doucette set about learning everything he could about camera work in preparation for shooting his own horror film. “I decided that I wanted to make a horror film

photos by Martha Pearce

IFCO executive director Patrice James and technical director Roger Wilson keep the collective running smoothly. last year,” he explains. “[I] just took it upon myself to learn everything I needed to know about shooting with non-digital cameras.” Doucette’s film is called The Darkness Inside, and premieres at the Mayfair Theatre on April 9 as part of a screening of several short films by Carleton University students. James thinks that the IFCO is a great resource for film studies students, even those with access to equipment, because of the freedom the collective gives them in terms of what, where, and how they shoot. “Most students who come here have the opportunity of working on films they have written, as opposed to students who attend Ryerson or York [who] usually work on films [in which] they have no input [into the writing process] and serve no use for their artistic portfolios,” says James. Matt Mitchell, a student at the local arts-based Canterbury High School, has used the resources of the IFCO to develop work for his portfolio. He aspires to study film at university, and im-

mersed himself in the IFCO workshops in order to work toward that goal. Mitchell recently finished a 10-minute film, Lost in the Fine Print, about an introverted and peculiar guy who has no luck with women. “I’ve taken a lot of workshops from cinematography, production design, grant writing, and all that kind of stuff,” Mitchell says. “Now I’ve been shooting my own stuff. All the equipment you need is here [and] you can shoot your film in here. Everything you need is here for you in order [for you] to pursue your passion.” On the first Thursday of every month, the IFCO presents a selection of its members’ work at the Reel Thursdays event at the Mercury Lounge (56 ByWard Market Sq.). This event provides a showcase for new and experienced filmmakers, and keeps the IFCO in touch with the Ottawa community. If the next Steven Spielberg wants to remake Jaws in the Rideau Canal, the IFCO is here to help. For news, events, and more, visit ifco.ca.

Thank you SFUO Volunteers 08-09! ~ GET INVOLVED ~ Reasons to Volunteer with the SFUO 1. You can give back to the student community and participate. 2. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests. 3. You get hands-on experience that is just as valuable as classes. 4. And sometimes… you get free stuff!

What’s coming up next… Are you looking to give back to those who gave you the best week of your life? Here’s your chance!!!

Become a 101 WEEK FED GUIDE!!! For more information please visit www.sfuo.ca or contact the SFUO’s Volunteer Coordinator at – [email protected]

Taking writing to new heights U of O Writer in residence Steve Heighton provides advice for aspiring student writers by Aaron Kozak Fulcrum Contributor WRITING A NOVEL isn’t easy. Just ask Steven Heighton, the author of nine books including the Canadian best-seller The Shadow Boxer and several poetry and short-story collections. Really, he encourages you to ask him how to write a novel—giving advice is his job. Heighton is the latest writer in residence for the Department of English at the University of Ottawa, a job that entails giving feedback to students about their writing portfolios and addressing English classes about careers in writing. At the same time, Heighton is working on a book of poetry and a novel, both due to be published next spring. The Kingston-based Heighton has enjoyed a long career writing fiction and poetry, and his works have been nominated for the Governor General’s Award, the Trillium Award, and a Pushcart Prize. He has also been active as a translator and teacher, and from 1988-1994 was editor of the literary journal Quarry Magazine. He has held the position of writer-in-residence at Concordia University, the University of Toronto, and Queen’s University. As writer-in-residence at the U of O, he follows in the steps of other notable writers like Irving Layton and Dorothy Livesay in advising students about the craft of writing and what it takes to be a successful

writer. The position is only filled for one semester every two years, and Heighton’s tenure ends in May. “I’m there as a resource for anybody, not just creative writing students,” says Heighton. “I’m not leading a class with 20 students; I’m working one on one with every writer that comes in. I can engage with them in the work in a very different way. I can hone in on what I see as the specific strengths and weaknesses of each individual submission.” Seymour Mayne, a professor in the Department of English, believes that Heighton’s role is valuable for students who wish to pursue a career in writing. “Someone who is creating the work brings a different perspective from the professors who come to it from a more scholarly perspective,” he says. “The writer [in residence] rebalances the perspective in the English department and provides us with a window into the creative process.” Heighton’s primary focus is reviewing and discussing students’ work. He gives the aspiring writers tips and ideas about how to improve their writing skills, and his advice is not reserved exclusively for English students. Any student at the U of O can submit his or her work, and Heighton has met with students from a variety of different programs. “They’re tremendously diverse,” says Heighton. “Not just in their

background but in the work they’ve given me. When I’m looking at the work of fairly new writers, the weaknesses often tend to be quite similar, but the strengths are always different from one to the other.” Joseph Kuchar, a second-year physics student who writes poety, thinks Heighton is a great resource for the students. “He gave me advice from a unique perspective,” says Kuchar. “I was able to find improvements to be made.” “My goal as a writer-in-residence is to give the writers I work with 100 per cent,” says Heighton. “[That] means helping them see what’s strongest in their work, and what still needs development.” Heighton’s website is also a resource for aspiring writers. He has posted a letter from himself to himself as a younger writer, full of ideas for those just starting out in their careers. He lists 17 hints, including things like “Let failure be your workshop. See it for what it is: the world walking you through a tough but necessary semester, free of tuition,” and “Stop straining to be ‘original’ and, with luck and applied time, it just might happen.” After his tenure at the U of O, Heighton plans to return to writing fiction full-time. “I’m just going to focus on trying to finish the novel and the book of poems,” he says. “Most of the time I live by writing fiction, so I’d like to do that for a while and just nail this novel once and for all. I just want to keep doing what I’m doing, supporting myself and my family.”

photo courtesy Bernard Clark

Steven Heighton uses his writing expertise to advise students of all departments.

“When I’m looking at the work of fairly new writers, the weaknesses often tend to be quite similar, but the strengths are always different from one to the other.”

Steven Heighton U of O Writer in residence

Earth-friendly living for students Scott Kellogg’s new book teaches quick tips for a greener existence by Gaëlle Engelberts The Link MONTREAL (CUP) – DREAMING OF GOING green but think you don’t have the time and energy to do so? Texas-based activist Scott Kellogg might have the answer. His do-it-yourself guide Toolbox for Sustainable City Living is packed with advice on how to become a perfectly green urban dweller. With topics like managing your own livestock, or building a wind turbine from recycled bicycle parts, Kellogg’s book makes sustainability accessible to the masses. “It means creating systems that are affordable, simple, and that utilize a lot of salvaged recyclable materials,” he says. Kellogg, along with co-writer Stacy Pettigrew, came up with some of these handy tips while

serving as the co-founder of the educational and activist organization Rhizome Collective. Some of the advice is based on innovations that originated in the collective itself, while others were adapted from already existing ideas and techniques. “For instance, the parabolic cooker,” says Kellogg. “That’s actually a design that dates back to ancient Greek times. It’s Archimedes’s ‘death ray’ that we actually built using similar principles but we’ve taken it to this point where we’re using recycled satellite dishes.” Greek scientist Archimedes was said to have repelled Roman warships with the use of a mirror-like device that focused sunlight on the ships in the enemy fleet, causing them to catch fire. Inspired by this ancient myth, the Rhizome Collective created a low-cost and eco-friendly device that produces enough concentrated heat to cook and light fires. Suggestions like these were developed in response to what the collective perceives as inevitable lifestyle changes that will be forced upon society in the near future. “We will need to do a pretty rapid transition into a society that consumes drastically less as we’re faced with the converging trends of climate change and energy depletion,” says Kellogg. “We want this transition to be as peaceful and gentle

as possible and not to have it result in suffering and in a [global] die-off.” In order to survive the transition from a fossil-fuel based economy to a self-sustainable society, Kellogg says we have to explore new methods of living now, while we still have the leisure to make mistakes and are not completely dependent on these alternative techniques. So where should busy students start if they want to move towards a sustainable lifestyle? Kellogg suggests that a good way to make one’s home a little greener is worm composting. “It involves just having a little plastic bin that can be kept underneath the sink or on top of a refrigerator and that contains a species of worm called the red wiggler,” he says. The red wigglers, or Eisenia Foetida as they are officially named, will eat vegetables and other food scraps and turn them into fertilizer that can be later used for gardens, houseplants, or even sold. “It doesn’t smell,” explains Kellogg. “It doesn’t take up a lot of space, you don’t have to have a back garden, and you don’t have to have sunlight either.” Kellogg’s message is simple: We shouldn’t wait for governments or corporations to switch

towards sustainability. As he writes in his guide, this transition should start today if we are to “survive the implosion of a society that has overextended its natural limitations in every capacity.” The future is in our hands, says Kellogg. “We, as people, as communities, as neighbourhoods, as grassroot organizations need to begin this work now, to take it upon ourselves to redesign our communities and build a sustainable infrastructure.”

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

ARTS // 11

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A reunion tour

photo courtesy Epitaph Records

The Weakerthans’ most recent album, Reunion Tour, was nominated for the 2008 Polaris Prize.

Old friends The Weakerthans and Constantines hit the road again by Nick Rudiak Fulcrum Staff IT’S NOT EASY being a punk. John K. Samson, lead singer of Canadian indie rock veterans The Weakerthans, started his music career in the early 1990s as the bassist for the Canadian anarchist punk band Propagandhi, but the poet and songwriter knew he was destined for bigger things. After two solo albums in 1993 and 1995, he decided to leave Propagandhi and formed The Weakerthans in 1997. “I come from the pop-punk tradition of bands like Green Day—they were huge for me—and bands like the Replacements,” says Samson. “They were a big deal when I was growing up and sort of where I learned to try and imitate those kinds of people, and that’s what became of me.” The Weakerthans have released four fulllength albums and an EP in their 12 years together, with Samson filling the role of lead singer, songwriter, and rhythm guitarist. Their most recent album is the Polaris Music Prize-nominated Reunion Tour, which hit stores in September 2007. The band has been touring extensively since the album’s release, playing shows across Canada, the U.S., and Europe. They have been touring with fellow Canadian rockers Constantines since early March, doing a series of shows called the Rolling Tundra Revue. The tour ends in Whitehorse on May 4. “We did the same cross-Canada tour with [Constantines] in 2004, and we did a tour in the U.S. with them,” explains Samson. “They might be the band we’ve toured with the most, actually. I think the point of this tour is to … watch those guys play.” The Weakerthans’ sound has evolved over the years as Samson has matured as a person and a songwriter, and they’ve moved away from their punk-rock roots. The folk-punk of 1997’s Fallow has given way to a rock sound that incorporates

elements of country and pop on Reunion Tour. “I don’t think [the change in our sound] is conscious at all,” says Samson. “I think it’s about working together for 12 years and starting out in our 20s and landing here in our mid-30s. [It’s] just the regular changes that human beings go through.” One consistent element across all their albums, however, is a strong connection to a Canadian identity. With songs like “Tournament of Hearts” about the classic Canadian pastime of curling, and “One Great City”, with its many references to Winnipeg and its culture, Samson and company try to capture the essence of what it is to be Canadian in their work. The albums frequently contain casual references to explorers, authors, and hockey players from Canada, including one of the last goalies in the National Hockey League to go mask-less, immortalized in the song “An elegy for Gump Worsley” on Reunion Tour. Like all great songwriters, Samson is a voracious reader. “I think [the exploration of Canadian themes] comes through things I read, view, and experience in the world,” Samson says. “You get inspired, and you lift up a corner on some topic you don’t know anything about and explore it. I do lots of sitting around in the library just reading up on things and learning more about them.” In spite of the band’s focus on Canada in their songs, The Weakerthans have been wellreceived during their tours overseas. “The reactions are slightly different just because of the national character,” Samson explains. “I think people recognize the weird specific-ness of local cultures and they can translate that into the weird specific-ness of their local culture. All nations and cultures have something unique about them, a sort of identity.” Canadian culture looms large in Samson’s lyrics, and without aiming for it or consciously seeking it, The Weakerthans have become one of the most Canadian rock bands around. The Weakerthans play a sold-out show with Constantines at the Bronson Centre on March 28.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

ARTS // 13

How to

write a b

compiled by Hisham Kelati Fulcrum Staff

S

IXTEENTH-CENTURY PHILOSOPHER FRANCIS Bacon said it best when he coined the phrase “knowledge is power”. With those words of wisdom in mind, the Fulcrum has compiled a collection of how-to advice from University of Ottawa and Carleton University academics and local professionals that should help you on your way to world domination.

Write a best-seller “First, you will need a protagonist readers can absolutely fall in love with. A 40-yearold woman will fare best with today’s readers, one whose husband has left her for a much younger woman. Call her Advena, or Pat. Give Pat a gay friend—Paulo—[who is] non-threatening [and] frighteningly supportive. And give Paulo his own gay friend, Todd, who is young, buff, and dumb as a TV. Paulo and Todd move in arty circles. But don’t concern yourself about the plot, as it’ll write itself (just take special care that Pat or Advena meets an adoring straight artist half her age, and that the husband, dumped by his floozie, comes crawling back just to be stepped on). Forget that you ever loved language. Forget the complexity of real characters and events. Forget that you once promised yourself you’d only ever write what you cared about. There, you’re on your way... if you can still remember where you were going, or have forgotten perfectly. Agents are a big help.” —Gerald Lynch, U of O English professor

Get away with the perfect crime “Crime covers a wide gamut of behaviours, some violent, others not, some expressive, others more instrumental. Thus, it is almost impossible to come up with a surefire, one-size-fits-all recipe for the perfect crime. The key is not to get caught—this allows us to identify some key ingredients of success. The first is to have a victim who does not know they have been taken or who is complicit in the crime. Failing that, make sure the crime cannot be traced back to you. If stealing, get rid of the take. If it’s violence, bury the evidence (literally, if necessary). In either case, eliminate or intimidate any witnesses. Failing this, get the best lawyers you can. Given recent events, it would appear that big business has this recipe down pat!” —Ross Hastings, director of the Institute for the Prevention of Crime and U of O professor of criminology

page 14 | the fulcrum

Deliver a stunning speech “Timing, gestures, vocal variety, and eye contact all contribute to giving a great speech. But what transcends all skills is structure and content. At Parliament Hill Toastmasters, we teach the rule of three. A great speech, whether it [is] a one-minute blurb or a one-hour lecture, contains three parts: the opening, the body, and the conclusion. Use the opening to introduce your topic, the body to make three points, and the conclusion to summarize what you have just said. If you have more than three points to make, then organize them in groups of three. The rule of three helps you to organize your thoughts about what you are saying so you can pay more attention to how you are saying it. Master the rule of three, and you are on the road to mastering the rest.” —Dave Isaacs, vp of public relations of the Parliament Hill Toastmasters

Grow vegetables with limited gardening space “Have you ever wondered where peas come from? The supermarket, of course! But they could just as well be growing on your balcony or patio. Yes, this summer your landscape could include ‘edibles’ like peas and beans. These veggies are not just good for you, but their vines are mighty attractive, too. Scarlet runner beans have flashy crimson flowers. Broad beans stand tall without support and have startling black and white flowers. While you’re at it, why not add spinach to your climber collection. Malabar spinach comes in two varieties— red or green stems. It grows three metres in one season and the luscious vines have fleshy foliage. This plant loves full sun and high heat. If you want to start your own jungle space, all you need is a sunny outdoor spot, a few containers filled with potting soil and the seeds of your choice. Most veggies need at least six hours of sun each day and regular watering. A little fertilizer now and then doesn’t hurt either.” —Fleurette Huneault, Ottawa horticulturist

Meditate while walking “Formal mindfulness practice includes both sitting and walking meditation. In sitting meditation, place your mind—your attention—on the breath as it goes out and comes back in. With walking meditation pay attention to the movement of your legs and feet. Whenever you become distracted by thoughts about the past or the future, simply and gently return your attention to either the breath or the movement of your legs and feet. With both types of meditation, body and mind become synchronized in the present moment. In everyday life it is not necessary to be mindful of the breath or the movement of the body; simply pay attention to whatever activity you are engaged in, such as washing the dishes or walking to school. Rather than rushing from one place to another, be mindful and aware of the journey, including the environment around you. If you get distracted by thoughts, just come back to the present. In this way, walking becomes much more enjoyable as you begin to appreciate the journey, rather than being fixated on where you’ve been or where you’re going to.” —Henry Chapin, instructor at the Ottawa Shambhala Meditation Centre

best-selling novel…

and eight other practical guides

Start a chart-topping rock band “Don’t waste your time worrying about what you want to call your band—it should come to you in a moment of group epiphany—nor about what you’re going to wear—fashion hasn’t won anybody a Grammy. Understand what music you love and master it. This means excessive and obsessive practicing, something which entails a number of risks including: a) quitting school b) provoking the indignation of friends and family [and] c) being poor. Be curious about all music. Only once you can perfectly cover all of your favourite bands, start writing your own tunes in the same vein, but with something new thrown in the mix just to keep it fresh. Perform whenever you get a chance—even if it doesn’t pay a dime—consistently while maintaining the highest degree of artistic integrity. Be prepared for a rocky road. Don’t worry about stardom or being a star until you are one. Then as soon as you are, re-invent yourself. These days, it’s the only way to stay on top.” —Christopher Moore, U of O assistant professor of music

Create a computer virus “To make a computer virus, you start with a program that can copy itself. Such programs are very short and simple, often just a few lines long. You then add code to allow it to ‘inject’ itself into another program. If you aren’t worried about being sneaky, the injection code is also very simple. Voila! You’ve got a virus. The only thing technically complicated about computer viruses [is] their evasion techniques. Unfortunately, here the virus writers have the upper hand: a basic result of computer science is that it is impossible to make the perfect automated virus detector. Thus, as long as we use computers, we will have computer viruses.” —Anil Somayaji, Carleton University associate professor of computer science

Launch an expedition

Start a revolution “A revolution is a drastic, sudden change in the way society functions. It is essential to [developing] an alternative way of being, individually and collectively. Begin by creating an alternative view of the world and of humanity that addresses issues and solves problems the current system generates or fails to attend to. Then, develop a new individual identity people find desirable and can identify with as well as a sense of community that promotes a collective vision and means of action. If you gather enough support you will have constituted a movement but you are still far from a revolution. A charismatic leader is essential; it is the driving force behind the movement. The movement needs to reach a critical mass in a short period of time. Otherwise, flaws in your proposed system will come to light and internal differences will emerge. The movement will be attacked from the outside and weakened from the inside and the revolution will fail. Bear in mind, neither the strategies deployed nor the socio-political [and] economic context guarantees the outcome of a revolution. Revolutions are shaped by the possibilities of otherness the existing system generates. If your alternative worldview truly embodies that otherness, the main ingredient for a revolution is there and you are off to a good start.” —Maritza Felices, U of O assistant professor of criminology

the fulcrum | page 15

“To start, find a place that interests you, perhaps a site mentioned in a class, a location that you’ve spotted on Google Earth, or read about in a book. Anywhere is possible if you put your mind to it. One of the biggest tasks is to figure out how to get there: remote expeditions might require that you rent a helicopter, charter a ship, or hike for a week to find your location. Find a good group of friends or colleagues to travel with that you don’t mind living with under close quarters. Remember to get immunizations well ahead of time, make copies of important documents, and perhaps carry a satellite phone. Expect the unexpected! Things rarely go as planned, but if you go with the flow everything works out in the end. And finally, take more memory cards for your camera than you expect—and always back them up!” —Luke Copland, U of O assistant professor of geography

illustrations by Alex Martin

You’ll never eat brunch in this town again

Celebrities have feelings too

Peter Henderson Arts & Culture Editor THIS PAST WEEKEND I had the distinct pleasure of meeting one of my favourite performers, a former producer on National Public Radio’s This American Life and current host of the CBC Radio One program Wiretap, Jonathan Goldstein. Listening to his show, a farcical and hilarious alternate take on Goldstein’s daily life, is one of the best parts of my week. Meeting someone whose work I admire was nerve-wracking, but I soon realized that I was nervous about nothing—Goldstein is just a guy like me, but with a bigger audience. All celebrities, A-list or D-list, are human beings;

they just have incredibly cool day jobs they ac- qualities as a person. Yes, I hate Nickelback to quired through talent, luck, or a combination the bone, but I’m sure Kroeger would be a cool of both. We too often treat celebrities differ- dude to grab a beer with. The dehumanizing of artists can be seen ently, as though they are instruments for our own enjoyment and are immune from all the most obviously in the celebrity media—TMZ, challenges we regular folk face. We are quick Entertainment Tonight, and the like. Everyto judge, defame, and expose, but remember: one mocks Britney Spears for going crazy and artists are people too. shaving her head, but really, wouldn’t you do the same? I’m not As an arts critic, I am often full of saying I’d beat the shit out of someharsh opinions and To quote the rap group Cypress elaborate metaphors one’s car with an Hill, whose song “Rap Superstar” umbrella because about the quality of someone took my artists’ work (don’t is an in-depth look at the music get me started on picture, but the industry and its many pitfalls, constant invasion the latest Nickel“it’s a fun job, but it’s still a job”. back album). But I of your private moments by paparazalways attempt to zi and publicity keep my criticism aimed at the product, not the artist themselves. hounds would surely drive anyone batty. You It’s fine to say that Nickelback’s Dark Horse is can count on one hand the number of child an auditory molestation whose stink lingers stars who grew up without bouts of addiction long after you listen, but it’s not okay to im- or mental illness—for every Natalie Portman pugn the reputation of Chad Kroeger’s mother there are dozens of Michael Jacksons. We treat because of it. Too often we see personal attacks celebrities like commodities, not people, and in the media that amount to people conflating their personal lives are our voyeuristic public the quality of an artist’s output with the artist’s obsession.

Under all the makeup, past all the glitz and glamour, Lindsay Lohan is just a confused young girl with too much freedom. The things she went through—an eating disorder, experimentation with drugs, problems with alcohol—happen to millions of teenagers every year, but we don’t crucify them for it. People make mistakes no matter how much money they make a year. If we treat celebrities like demigods of rationality and intelligence, we’re going to be disappointed—they’re just as dumb as the rest of us. To quote the rap group Cypress Hill, whose song “Rap Superstar” is an in-depth look at the music industry and its many pitfalls, “it’s a fun job, but it’s still a job”. They make more money than we ever will, but celebrities are just working stiffs like the rest of us. Don’t call Britney Spears a bitch because Crossroads was a terrible movie, don’t equate Rivers Cuomo to Hitler just because Weezer hasn’t released a good album in a dozen years, and don’t slobber over a celebrity if you meet them in real life. They’re people just like us, and they deserve to be treated as such. [email protected] 613-562-5931

www.thefulcrum.ca The Fulcrum is hiring The Fulcrum is hiring for the 2009–10 a Business Manager publishing year The Fulcrum Publishing Society is hiring a Business Manager for a one-year term running from May 1, 2009 to April 30, 2010. If you have experience or interest in basic bookkeeping, dealing with Mac computer environments, print production processes, non-profit governance and enjoy working in a student environment, you may be our ideal candidate. Applications must consist of a cover letter and resume. These should be submitted to the attention of the “Business Manager Hiring Committee” either by email to [email protected], by fax to 613.562.5259 or to Fulcrum’s mailbox at 631 King Edward Ave. Applications must be received by Friday, April 3rd 2009 by 5 p.m. Late applications will not be considered. Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.

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If you are interested in the following positions: Associate News Editor Volunteer and Visibility Coordinator Copy Editor (Two positions available) Webmaster Contact [email protected] for more information or to apply. Applications are due April 10 at 5 p.m. Email a cover letter, resumé, and clippings (if applicable) to [email protected] or drop them off at 631 King Edward Ave.

Friday afternoon journalism workshops The Fulcrum is hosting free weekly workshops for students hoping to learn the craft of print journalism.

March 27 - Editing dt g

All workshops begin at 1 p.m. and take place at 631 King Edward Ave. No registration required. All are welcome to attend.

David McClelland Sports Editor [email protected]

Sports

March 26–April 1, 2009

18

Reduce, reuse, and re-Cycles

Local bicycle co-op sells inexpensive second-hand bikes by Anna Rocoski Fulcrum Staff SOMETIMES TAKING PUBLIC transit and driving to school or work can be a drag—getting stuck in traffic or being packed on a crowded bus is no fun. With warmer weather just around the corner, now is the ideal time to look for a bicycle as an alternative way of getting around. Re-Cycles Bicycle Co-op is a small not-for-profit shop located at 477 Bronson Ave. that gives students a chance to purchase a second-hand bike for less than the price of a monthly OC Transpo bus pass. “I would say a second-hand bike is definitely the way to go, especially for students who can sometimes be on a tight budget,” said Derek Roach, a head mechanic at re-Cycles. “We have two different kinds of bikes. [Firstly], bikes that we have completely overhauled, taken off all the pieces and completely re-built everything, and checked it out top to bottom; those start at $100 and go up depending on their quality. We also have bikes that have come into the shop in pretty good condition and haven’t needed a lot of work or [they’re] not as high-

quality bikes; those bikes we do a safety check, we make sure that they are safe to put back on the road and we price those starting around $40 and up.” Re-Cycles operates in partnership with Cycle Salvation, which also sells second-hand bikes at the same location. However, re-Cycles is unique in that it is an almost entirely volunteerdriven organization. “A lot of the bike shops I would say are to some extent focused on profit because they’re businesses,” said Roach. “So they have to make money to stay afloat where as re-Cycles is run almost exclusively by volunteers. Re-Cycles is more about trying to keep bikes out of the landfill and keep people excited about cycling [than profit].” Re-cycles doesn’t just offer bikes for sale, though. The store has several other services, and its staff works hard to make sure customers leave satisifed. For instance, if you’ve been putting off repairing a bike due to the cost, re-Cycles runs specific programs in order to help out people on a budget, offering inexpensive second-hand parts and access to tools. “If you bring a bike that you want to work on we have two different payment methods. You can either pay $5 an hour to use our tools and hang out in our shop space. It’s a bit of a small shop [and] gets quite busy some-

Used tires hang from the rafters of re-Cycles Bicycle Co-op at 477 Bronson Ave. times,” explained Roach. “The other option is you can come in and volunteer to help us fix our bikes, and every hour that you spend working with us to help us fix our bikes we give you an hour of time to use our tools working on your bike.” For the store’s volunteers, cycling is more than just a way to travel from place to place

“I really find that when I am taking public transit or driving in my own car, I am isolated from the environment around me,” said Roach. “I find when I am walking or cycling I’m part of the environment around me. That’s something that I get really excited about. There’s also the fact that it’s drastically cheaper than any other means of transpor-

I want to ride my bicycle Resources for the Ottawa cyclist by Anna Rocoski Fulcrum Staff

photo by Alex Martin

With winter ending, cyclists are coming out of the woodwork in Canada’s capital.

IF YOU’RE A cyclist, there are few cities in North America better than Ottawa. The city has lots to offer to cyclists, including biking clubs and dozens of trails and maps. One way to get more involved in the local cycling scene is to join a biking club, such as the Ottawa Bicycle Club. They frequently organize group rides, races and events, transforming biking from an individual activity to a social one. The club also publishes a monthly newsletter that offers cycling tips and articles on biking around Ottawa. There is a $40 fee for a oneyear student membership to the club. More information is available from ottawabicycleclub.ca. “Anyone can ride by themselves and enjoy cycling and that’s just fine, [but] I think what people join the bicycle club for is the motivation

and camaraderie you get from riding with other cyclists that have the same common interest,” said Tom Stratton, president of the Ottawa Bicycle Club. Closer to home, the U of O chapter of the Ontario Public Interest Research Group (OPIRG) runs the University of Ottawa Bike Club, which runs group rides and workshops on bike repair. Membership is free, and information is available from geocities.com/uottawabikeclub. If you’re not interested in joining a club, there are several of other ways to get informed about the resources that are available for Ottawa cyclists. The National Capital Commission maintains numerous routes around the city, and offers an interactive map of their various trails on their website canadascapital.ca. The City of Ottawa also features a biking map on their website (ottawa.ca) and sells hard copies of the map for $2 at City Hall (110 Laurier Ave. West). No matter what you do to get out on a bike, Stratton feels that there are certain aspects of the activity that appeal to everyone.

photo courtesy re-cycles.ca

tation and [it’s] wonderful as far as your environmental footprint [is concerned].” Re-Cycles is open 6–9 p.m. Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and 1–5 p.m. on Saturdays until March 31, when the shop will switch to summer hours. To keep up to date with current hours check the re-Cycles website at re-cycles.ca.

“[Biking gives you] the freedom to go quietly down the road wherever the road will go, wherever the pavement will go, seeing different things from the countryside, getting to know the environment and getting to know the areas that [you] cycle through,” explained Stratton. “You are much more aware of the environment you are passing through [because] you are [moving] slower than a car and you can smell and feel the air, and you can hear more things.” For Jeff Cross, an OPIRG staff member, biking is an inexpensive but effective way of getting around, and is environmentally friendly, to boot. “It makes sense to cycle—just in terms of cost, the effect you’re having on your surroundings, [and] your lifestyle,” said Cross. “When you start cycling a lot you realize you can do everything on your own. That feeling of moving yourself places is amazing: I don’t need a car, I don’t need a bus. So [cycling] is also an empowering thing.” —with files from Sarah Leavitt

Winless in Antigonish Women’s hockey falls three times at nationals by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa’s women’s hockey team was shut out at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) championship in Antigonish, N.S., March 19–22, dropping all three of their games and finishing sixth. The Gee-Gees lost 6-1 to the Laurier Golden Hawks, 2-1 in overtime to the Moncton Aigles Bleues, and 5-4 in overtime to the St. Francis Xavier X-Women. It was the Gee-Gees’ third consecutive appearance at the national championship. The sixth-seeded Gees kicked off the tournament against the secondranked Golden Hawks on March 19, and couldn’t best the Ontario champions, despite taking a 1-0 lead into the first period. Ottawa suffered a defensive meltdown in the second and third periods, giving up six unanswered goals. The Gees next played the Aigles Bleues on March 20, battling for a chance to play for a bronze medal on the last day of the tournament. Both teams got on the board in the first period, with Janie Leblanc scoring 13 minutes in for Moncton, and followed

up two minutes later by third-year Ottawa forward Kayla Hottot. After two periods of scoreless play, and an outstanding 29-save effort from fifth-year Ottawa goaltender Jessika Audet, the Gees fell 2-1 just 1:28 into overtime. “It was a much better performance than yesterday,” said Audet in an interview with Streaming Sports Network Canada after the game. “I think if the team that had shown up tonight had shown up last night, the score would have been a lot different. So it was nice for us to bounce back and show that we deserve to play in this tournament.” The Gees rounded off the tournament with a game against the XWomen for sixth place on March 22. After a scoreless first period, the GeeGees potted three goals in the second (with two from rookie forward Samantha Delenardo) to take a 3-2 lead into the final frame. However, the XWomen were able to jump ahead 4-3 by the middle of the period, though the Gees answered with four minutes remaining and sent the game into overtime. Ottawa was quickly defeated, however, with Brayden Ferguson scoring the game-winning goal just 27 seconds into overtime. In the tournament’s other games that day, Moncton beat the Manitoba Bisons 3-2 in a shootout to take the bronze medal, while the McGill Martlets topped the Golden Hawks 3-1 for the gold.

Catching Zs Having trouble sleeping? Some tips to help you saw logs faster by Meuren Martins Excalibur TORONTO (CUP) – SLEEP PROBLEMS ARE pretty common, but experts have some tips for the tossers and turners among us. Some people decide to take sleeping medications, but while they are effective at improving sleeping habits, they have many risks attached to them. Doctors will not recommend medication for people with sleeping problems unless the situation is severe. Medication runs the risks of dependency and possible addiction, while other effects can include drowsiness and dizziness. More importantly, medication is only a quick fix to one’s sleeping problems. Susan Martha, a professor in the Department of Psychology at Toronto’s York University, has some more natural recommendations for improving sleeping habits. Martha encourages that the bedroom be used

photo by Normand Leger

Fifth-year Gee-Gees goaltender Jessika Audet watches the puck whistle by during Ottawa’s 6-1 loss to the Laurier Golden Hawks

for rest and sleep rather than conflict and worry. If you are worried about something, and it’s keeping you awake, she advises you to get up and leave the bedroom—go read a book elsewhere. “Other obvious things, like improving the sleep environment by minimizing noise and disruptions might work as well. In addition, regular exercise—but not close to bedtime— has been shown to increase early night slowwave sleep in normal sleepers,” said Martha. Mental health and your emotional state when you go to bed can also have an effect on your ability to sleep. A study conducted by the Department of Psychology at Grant MacEwan College in Edmonton found that mindfulness and wellbeing are positively correlated with sleep. Linda Ivan, a social worker at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, recommends that people avoid alcohol before sleep since it causes poor sleep quality and frequent awakenings during the night. Ivan also recommends that people limit their caffeine intake since it interferes with sleep—even caffeine consumed early in the day can make it harder to fall asleep at night. Another technique for better sleep is to try establishing a regular routine: going to bed at the same time every day including weekends and using the time before you go to sleep to do the same thing everyday.

Writers. The Fulcrum needs every issue. Photographers. volunteers to produce Help us out. No experience necessary. Illustrators. Staff meetings are Thursdays at 2:30 p.m. Drop in and say hi. Proofreaders.

If you’re reading this, you have the attention to detail we need in our proofreaders. Come to 631 King Edward Ave. on Tuesday evenings to keep the Fulcrum error-free. www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

SPORTS // 19

Lighting the lamp

Stepping stones to success

David McClelland Sports Editor IT’S A LITTLE hard for me to believe, but the 2008–09 varsity season is over. Without actually playing a game, I’ve been about as involved in varsity sports as it’s possible to be (it’s hard not to be when you spend entire weekends covering teams), so in a weird sort of way it’s like a part of my life has just finished for the year. Now I’m left with one question: was this year a successful

als for the first time in four years. one for the Gee-Gees? Additionally, the men’s basketball team reOverall, I would say that yes, it has been a great year for the Gee-Gees. Of the U of O’s 10 turned to the CIS championships after not qualivarsity teams, six have participated in Canadian fying last year, the women’s hockey team played Interuniversity Sport (CIS) championships, and in their third-straight CIS tournament, and the the remaining four all played in the post-sea- women’s soccer team attended nationals for the son. And several Ottawa 10th time in their 15teams vastly improved year history. Last but not their performance comleast, both the swimming Qualifying for a CIS tourpared to last year. and track teams sent athnament alone is a laudable Of course, the biggest letes to compete at CIS success story of the year championship meets. accomplishment, and for was the women’s basketI think it’s undeniable six teams to have done so is ball team. This is hardly that the Gees are slowly incredible. the first time we’ve turning into a major CIS heaped praise upon them powerhouse. Of course, within these pages, but in it’s hard to deny the fact my opinion it can’t be said enough. A disastrous that no Gee-Gees varsity teams won a national 2007–08 season in which the team went 3-19 championship—or, for that matter, even qualified was countered by a steady hand in head coach for a CIS championship game—but I think our Andy Sparks this year, as he replaced Carlos athletes are still very much worthy of celebration. Qualifying for a CIS tournament alone is a Brown and brought the team to the CIS nation-

laudable accomplishment, and for six teams to have done so is incredible. Having U of O teams at national tournaments helps build the Gee-Gees as a brand and makes the Gee-Gees far more attractive for new recruits to university sports and transfers from other teams. Everybody wants to play for a winner, so what better place to go than a school that is consistently able to send teams to the biggest events of the year? This year should provide a foundation for the Gee-Gees’ future successes. University sports is all about building an attractive program that allows teams to recruit skilled young players year after year, and the U of O is in an excellent position to do just that—and maybe even boost fan support at the same time. Success is something that builds upon itself, and I think in future years we will see more and more U of O teams excel at the national level. [email protected] 613-562-5931

The last staff meeting of the publishing year is Thursday, March 26 at 2:30 p.m. Drop by 631 King Edward Ave. and pick up a story. President’s Global knowledge. Local learning.

Idea lovers: Join us for uOttawa’s free public lecture series The University of Ottawa is proud to present the President’s Lecture Series — stimulating public lectures on a variety of topics from some of uOttawa’s leading thinkers. With their upto-the-minute response to current events and global trends, lectures have a unique power to expand horizons and challenge assumptions. To view past conferences, visit our Web site.

Professor Chantal Laroche Faculty of Health Sciences

Professor Stewart Elgie Faculty of Law

Professor Pierre Bélanger Faculty of Arts

L’impact du bruit sur nos vies, du berceau à la berceuse (in French only)

The Wealth of Nature: how fixing the economy can save the planet

Ce n’est pas une révolution que traversent nos médias. C’est une Web-olution. (in French only)

April 1, 2009

September 23, 2009

November 25, 2009

All lectures begin at 7 p.m. and are held in Room 4101, Desmarais Building.

Media partners:

Register online to attend: www.uOttawa.ca/presidentlectureseries If you can’t attend in person, you can join the discussion live on the Web.

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Joining the

fight club

Fourth-year U of O student Mustafa Khalil to make professional MMA debut by Megan O’Meara Fulcrum Staff

photos by Martha Pearce

Mustafa Khalil is just a few days away from his debut MMA fight.

ROBERT GUERTIN ARENA in Gatineau will host “W1: Inception” on March 28, a mixed martial arts (MMA) event featuring a headlining fight between top Canadian fighters Carlos Newton and Nabil Khatib. The event will feature 12 other fights, one of which is the professional MMA debut of fourth-year University of Ottawa accounting student Mustafa Khalil, who will face off against Windsor’s

Manny Alfaro. Khalil, 22, arrived in Ottawa with his family from Afghanistan when he was two years old and has been dabbling in various martial art forms since he was young, beginning with taekwondo. He stopped training for a while, but five years ago took up karate, and later Japanese jiu-jitsu, eventually earning himself an orange belt in karate and a green belt in Japanese jiu-jitsu. In 2007, Khalil joined Ronin Mixed Martial Arts, an Ottawa martial arts school on Carling Avenue. It was here that he began learning a greater variety of fighting styles. “I started going to Ronin MMA and from there I was training in Muay Thai and Brazilian jiu-jitsu … then I started doing some wrestling here and there and that’s how [my interest

in MMA] started,” he said. Khalil has competed in tournaments with Ronin MMA, participating in several jiu-jitsu tournaments last summer and one amateur Muay Thai fight. As he improved his techniques in each fighting style, his coach put his name out to promoters seeking new MMA fighters. “I got my blue belt [in Muay Thai] in September and the coach got me my MMA fight soon after,” Khalil explained. “This is my debut professional MMA fight.” MMA, for the uninitiated, is exactly what it sounds like—fights that allow competitors to use a variety of martial arts styles to try to best their opponent. Khalil has immense goals for himself, hoping to be sought out by one of the better-known MMA leagues if he

finds success in his first few fights. “Hopefully if I get enough wins I’ll get a call from a bigger organization and from there make it my career,” he said. While Khalil will certainly not be ruling out using his accounting degree at some point in life, he hopes that for the time being he will be able to go somewhere with MMA. “If I win—when I win—I’ll probably be getting another fight in the summer, and I’ll just keep on going and see what happens,” he said. “It will be just the start of my career.” Mustafa Khalil will face Manny Alfaro on March 28 at Robert Guertin Arena (125 Rue Carillon). The event runs 7–11 p.m. Tickets are available at ticketmaster.ca and are $30–$200. For a complete fight card visit w1mma.com.

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Positions available in your area. If interested call 1-888-277-9787 or apply online at www.collegepro.com www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

SPORTS // 21

music

theatre

dance

literature

film

visual and media arts

culinary arts

MUSIC PASS 6 for only $ 50!

BUY BEFORE APRIL 1 AND SAVE AN EXTRA $ 5! NDIDI ONUKWULU April 23 Library and Archives Canada, Auditorium

SWEATSHOP UNION / DJ TIMOTHY WISDOM April 25 babylon

SIMONE OSBORNE May 1 National Gallery of Canada, Rideau Chapel

GOSPEL AND BLUES REVUE April 24 Library and Archives Canada, Auditorium

MEI HAN AND RED CHAMBER April 29 Library and Archives Canada, Auditorium

DELHI 2 DUBLIN / DJ TSPOON May 2 National Arts Centre, Fourth Stage

BLACK MOUNTAIN/ LADYHAWK / THE PACK A.D. April 24 Capital Music Hall

B.C. JAZZ ALL-STARS April 30 Library and Archives Canada, Auditorium

AND SO MANY MORE! Check out other music performances available on the Music Pass at

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Pass available at the NAC Box Office, 53 Elgin. Tickets MUST BE PICKED UP PRIOR TO THE PERFORMANCE at the NAC Box Office. Tickets will also be available at the door on the night of the performance; however, access to each performance is subject to availability. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

Opinion

T

Michael Olender Executive Editor [email protected] March 26–April 1, 2009

HE END IS nigh! For many students, the university experience is coming to a close. Though they never noticed it happening, almost all those about to graduate have emerged from this freaky beer-soaked educational challenge as completely different people. Yet, some students are in denial that they’re almost finished at the University of Ottawa and insist that they’re the same person they’ve always been. Well, if you recognize yourself in any of the following points, sorry, but you’re as done with school as the rest of us.

1 2

You can write a B essay in less time than it takes to make decent spaghetti sauce.

You start to sound like the campus Gandalf: “That classroom hasn’t been used since the reign of Gilles Patry, young friend. Beware the sixth floor. Danger lurks there.”

3 4 5

You’ve actually cared when a For Sale sign goes up in front of a house. First-year students seem indecently and freakishly young.

The enormous Pulp Fiction poster of John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson hung over the toilet starts to seem tacky instead of “fuckin’ boss”.

18

You’re considering the purchase of a third bookcase to hold the learning materials you’ve accumulated. You no longer need to look at the floor guide at the library to know which level your book is on.

20

You would punch your own grandmother in the throat just to skip ahead to May 1.

6

7

23 24

8 9

You nap, even when you aren’t hungover.

You’ve contemplated marriage, if only for a second.

You never do your readings and yet talk the most in class because of your finely honed bullshitting ability.

10

You’ve bought a nice shirt. Like a real one. Like the kind a professor would

wear.

11 12

A loud party next door stops being an opportunity and starts being annoying.

You got home at 11 p.m. last Saturday night and still felt like it had been a good night.

13 14

You’re known by name at a restaurant or bar on or near campus.

Every time you hear someone in your department talk about a class you immediately ask, “Who with?” and then recount six to 12 personal stories involving that professor.

15 16 17

You’re on a first-name basis with a professor who has never taught you. The T.A. marking your paper is only seven months older than you.

You’re so deep into debt you stop living cheaply, thinking: “$50 is hardly much more than $40, right?” illustration by Amlake Tedla-Digaf

You’ve finally used up the 690 free condoms you got during frosh week.

You know that grades are to proof of intelligence as the wittiness of a band name is to the quality of their music.

25

by Dave Atkinson Fulcrum Contributor and Ben Myers Fulcrum Staff

You managed to get sick of Kraft Dinner. Even the fancy white cheddar kind.

You’ve moved from horrible apartment to horrible apartment so many times that you know the U-Haul number by heart.

You buy smaller amounts of beer, but the beer you do have tastes good, and has a label on the bottle (unlike that stuff you once bought off that shifty guy in your first year).

40 ways you know it’s your final year of university

19

21 22

“It’s winter” is enough of an excuse to sleep through any morning class.

26

28 29

You’ve called a party “too crowded”.

You know that any project worth less than 20 per cent doesn’t deserve the privilege of being thought about more than three days before it is due.

30 31 32 33

You’ve wondered if taking out a small business loan would push you into a higher tax bracket.

Not ever.

27

34

You drink wine, but not for lack of anything else to drink.

23

Twenty minutes of physical activity can leave you sore for four days. You know the drink specials at every bar near campus for every night of the week. You always answer the door with pants on. You’ve learned that living with more than one other person never works.

For men—you’ve let someone feel your balls for legitimate medical reasons.

35 36

You’ve scheduled a haircut more than two days in advance.

You’ve abandoned one of the following: MSN Messenger, video games, or your parents.

37

Your resumé no longer mentions your ability to restock shelves, serve customers, or show up on time.

38

You’ve become so surly, you begin to volunteer at one of the campus newspapers.

39 40

You’ve considered going to college to learn something useful.

You’ve realized how stupid you were when you came to university, and how stupid you still are in so many ways.

Freday aftrnoon jornalism w0rksh0ps The Fulcrum is hosting free weekly workshops for students hoping to learn the craft of print journalism.

April 3 - Editing (get it?) All workshops begin at 1 p.m. and take place at 631 King Edward Ave. No registration required. All are welcome to attend. sudoku answers from p. 26

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24 \\ OPINION

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Last chance for romance HECKLES: The love note that you’ve been trying to scribble all semester

THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE, who doesn’t know that (s)he’s your special someone yet, has been taking your eyes away from the professor’s PowerPoint slides all semester. Maybe you haven’t been able to muster up the courage to go chat with him or her. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what to say. Well, classes are almost over, so if you’re going to make a move, now is the time. We here at the Fulcrum are wordsmiths who have scaled the love peaks and braved the love trenches, so we’ve put together the following perfectly worded hello. Just fill in the blanks below, cut the note out, and slyly drop it on that cutie’s desk during your next class together.

Honey, put some goddamn pants on

Dear you, Ever since our first day in _____________________ class, I’ve been peeking at you from the other side of the room. I know, that sounds a bit ____________ but I’m not __________________. You have to understand that I’m a little ___________ when it comes to ___________________. Our class together is almost over and I might never see you again, so I would like to say a few things. I’ve wanted to tell you this all semester: I think you’re ___________ and I really like your ______________. The way you ___________ is _____________. I remember one time when you ______________________________ and I thought that was ______________. Oh, I don’t know if this is coming out right. Look, I’m a ___________ person. My name is ________________. I’m ____ years old and I study ____________________________. I enjoy ______________ and long walks on the ____________. I work at _________________. My favourite meal is ________________. I like to listen to ________________ and my favourite TV show is ____________________. My favourite book of all-time is __________________. People say I’m _______________, ________________, and _________________. And I ________ this class. It would be a lot _____________ if I had someone as _______________ as you to sit beside (I’m really ____________ about the exam!)... Listen, I’m sitting _____________________, and I’m wearing _________________ llo. Come over and __________________. This little cut-out note is my hel hello. ___________ after class if you’re interested. Yours (maybe), __________________________

by Emma Godmere Fulcrum Staff YOUR LEGGINGS ARE pissing me off. Why is that all you’re wearing? Why isn’t anything appropriately shielding your behind? And do you think the best way to keep warm is by wearing less than three millimetres of spandex? I swear you’re only threads away from walking outside in pantyhose. I realize that trends are inevitable. People buy clothes in stores, and stores only stock certain clothes, so consumers must purchase what is presented to them by retailers (and often what is most affordable, too). Look, I understand this. I, too, can only buy so much clothing every so often. But for goodness’ sake, only so much clothing does not have to literally translate to buying something that does not properly cover your ass. It’s about time that someone stood up and said enough is enough. Speaking of trends, I’m sick and fucking tired of walking from Tabaret Hall to the Rideau Canal and seeing at least five girls wearing the same outra-

geous thing: black leggings with hiking socks, matched with a shirt that does not cover their bums. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve all seen those big wool socks with the red stripe on the top and the black polyester tights they’re overlapping. I have no idea where this trend came from—I’ve even tried Googling this fugly fad and can’t find a runway or celebrity that it originated from. I would love for someone to write in and tell me where this ‘style’ originated, because otherwise I bet that it was someone who accidentally created the outfit when she was too hungover to find a skirt to wear with her stupid footless tights, and since she forgot to do laundry that weekend, she could only find her silly hiking socks to wear inside her dated Ugg boots or Birkenstocks or whatever. I’m not anti-tights altogether. Wear them with a skirt or a dress and you’re ready to shine. You know what, I’ll even grudgingly allow you to wear them with a long sweater or shirtdress or tunic if you really must. Fellow females, what I’m trying to say is I know you’re smarter than this. I know you’re capable of being more creative and original with what you wear. If you’re trying to attract men, there are better ways of using clothing instead of outright displaying your ass on some sort of spandex stage for those walking behind you. And really, I know you’re not dressing for guys; it’s a well-known fact that women dress to impress each other. So, from another woman: put some goddamn pants on.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.26.09 //

OPINION // 25

Sarah Leavitt Features Editor [email protected]

Distractions

March 26–April 1, 2009

Thryllabus

Thursday, March 26 Lecture: The lives and lessons of Lester Pearson by Andrew Cohen. 7 p.m. Ben Franklin Place. 101 Centrepointe Dr. Free. Czech film: Something Like Happiness. 8:30 p.m. Desmarais Hall. Room 1150. Free.

Friday, March 27 Concert: Soulbomb, Headbounce, and Hot Jupiter. 8 p.m. Zaphod Beeblebrox. 27 York St. $10. 19+.

Saturday, March 28 Comedy: Debra DiGiovanni. 8 p.m. Ottawa Little Theatre. 400 King Edward Ave. $25.

Sunday, March 29 Film: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. 7:30 p.m. Montpetit Hall. Room 203. $5.

Monday, March 30 Film: Alien. 8:50 p.m. ByTowne Cinema. 325 Rideau St. $9, $6 for members.

Tuesday, March 31 Play: London Suite. 8 p.m. Ottawa Little Theatre. 400 King Edward Ave. $10 for students.

Wednesday, April 1 Workshop: Small organic gardens. 7:30 p.m. Sandy Hill Community Centre. 250 Somerset St. E. $17.50.

Earth Hour candlelight vigil. 8:30 p.m. Parliament Hill. Free.

Dear Di

26

If you have a question for Di, email [email protected].

Dear Di, I’m embarrassed that I’m uncircumcised. When I was in high school, my first girlfriend thought it was freaky that I had a hood. I’ve been with women since then and they’re always surprised when they take my pants off. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to pick up women at bars because if they go home with me they might be too weirded out or disappointed to have sex with me. I’m tired of feeling like this. Do you have any advice? —Robin Hood

Dear RH, I’d like to start off by saying that this question genuinely saddens me. I know that the majority of women I am friends with couldn’t care less about whether or not a man’s penis is cut. According to a 2007 report published by the World Heath Organization, it is estimated that a mere 30 per cent of men over the age of 15 worldwide are circumcised. According to Dr. Dean Edell, one of America’s leading medical broadcasters, the foreskin has three known functions: protective, sensory, and sexual. As a child, the foreskin serves as a barrier against debris and diaper abrasion. Later in life, the foreskin keeps the glans (the head of the penis) soft and moist while protecting it from trauma. Additionally, the extra nerve endings in the foreskin make sex more pleasurable. The same report also estimated that the prevalence in Canada was also 30 per cent, while in the United States, 75 per cent

of men are thought to be circumcised. Circumcision has become somewhat of a tradition—families do it for religious reasons, to conform, or in accordance with the belief that circumcised penises are cleaner. The idea that the foreskin is unclean really depends on the hygiene of the individual. University of Ottawa women, I want you to listen to me when I say that an uncut penis should never be discriminated against. An uncircumcised penis is just as clean, healthy, and normal as a circumcised penis. There are arguments for both sides of the to-cut-or-not-tocut debate, but my point is that you are not a minority and a little extra flesh is nothing to be ashamed of. Love, Di Dear Di, My boyfriend and I like watching porn together. Sometimes we watch straight porn, but he gets turned on by lesbian porn too. The thing is, so do I—but I’m completely straight. I don’t want to have sex or be in a relationship with a girl, but seeing girls getting it on makes me all hot and bothered. I’d love to watch more girl-on-girl porn with my boyfriend, but I’m kind of embarrassed to let him know how much I like it. Am I a closet lesbian, or can you explain this? —Clits Are So Cute

Dear CASC, Many straight women soak their panties watching girl-on-girl porn just as much as they do for guy-on-girl porn. Some experts suggest that the appeal is all in the point of view, since straight porn usually focuses on some musclebound, tribal-tattooed, spray-tanned dude, and his—as opposed to his lucky female co-star’s—pleasure. Girl-on-girl porn, on the other hand, has no choice but to present a feminine perspective, and instead of revolving around a freakishly large cock, the whole production is more about mutual sensuality with a romantic ambience. So your blushing reaction is nothing to question, and you shouldn’t be worried about what your boyfriend might think. Chances are, if he thinks girls doing girls is hot, he’ll think that his girl watching girls doing girls is that much hotter. I’ve always advocated that couples should be open with each other about what turns them on, so I want you to stop hiding and suppressing your libido. Saying something as simple as “those girls were pretty hot, weren’t they?” the next time you two watch a pair of lovely ladies buffin’ each other’s muffins can lead to some charged, passionate sex, or maybe even something new. Love, Di

sudoku answers on p. 24

The Thryllabus needs lots of events to remain so thrilling. Email [email protected] with suggestions.

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27 Editorial f Rock’s frosh is over Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected]

March 26–April 1, 2009

With nothing to fear but fear itself since 1942. Volume 69 - Issue 26 March 26–April 1, 2009 phone: (613) 562-5261 fax: (613) 562-5259 631 King Edward Ave. Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5 [email protected] www.thefulcrum.ca Recycle this paper or sleep under it.

Staff Frank ‘ponzi’ Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Ben ‘toxic assets’ Myers Production Manager [email protected] Michael ‘credit default swap’ Olender Executive Editor [email protected] Martha ‘housing crisis’ Pearce Art Director [email protected] Emma ‘economic downturn’ Godmere News Editor [email protected] Peter ‘deregulation’ Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected] David ‘housing bubble’ McClelland Sports Editor [email protected]

Sarah ‘global financial crisis’ Leavitt Features Editor [email protected] Danielle ‘fannie mae’ Blab Laurel ‘freddy mac’ Hogan Copy Editors Amanda ‘liquidity’ Shendruk Associate News Editor [email protected] James ‘iceland’ Edwards Webmaster [email protected] Jessica ‘federal reserve’ Sukstorf Volunteer & Visibility Coordinator [email protected] Megan ‘goldman sachs’ O’Meara Staff Writer Alex ‘morgan stanley’ Martin Staff Illustrator Inari ‘henry paulson’ Vaissi Nagy Jiselle ‘blue monday’ Bakker Ombudsgirls [email protected] Travis ‘quantitative easing’ Boisvenue Ombudsboy [email protected] Nicole ‘modern money mechanics’ Gall Staff Proofreader

A

LLAN ROCK WAS hailed as a saviour for the University of Ottawa when his arrival was first announced in July. A former Liberal cabinet minister with a vibrant personality that would add a jolt of life to the school’s somewhat blasé reputation. An outsider with a vision of involvement and a plan to rapidly transform the university experience. The herald of a new era in student-administration relations. In short, the new president was to be the U of O’s Barack Obama, replacing the perceived ivory tower administration of his predecessor Gilles Patry with a student-centric approach to governance. His was to be the administration of change. Yet in Rock’s first foray into post-secondary administration he has perhaps not awed the school in the way many expected—but rather satisfied the community. And if satisfaction is all students feel after one year, we shouldn’t be disappointed. The fantasies of Rock playing instant fairy godmother to the U of O’s Cinderella were unfoundedly wistful. Rock has wisely taken time to slowly immerse himself in the school and incrementally change elements and focuses of governance at the U of O rather than hastily revolutionizing an institution with which he has not been heavily involved since he was the Student Federation of University of Ottawa (SFUO) president in 1970. That is precisely the approach that should have been expected of a fledgling president. The former United Nations ambassador has based his newcomer’s approach to leading the U of O on quietly improving the status quo. In lieu of grand moves that would put his own very public stamp on the U of O, Rock has seemingly focused on small-scale leadership. To many students, Rock’s biggest accomplishments this year likely include appearing at student events, showing a willingness to work with the SFUO and Graduate Students’ Association, and handling student nightmares such as the proposed code of conduct and OC Transpo strike with aplomb. Earth-shattering stuff it’s not. But although he has not flexed his revolutionary muscles at the U of O, as a former cabinet minister Rock’s affinity for grand leadership can hardly be dismissed. And when one considers that Rock is still very much a newcomer to both university administration and the U of O itself, perhaps his careful, understated approach this year is understandable. However, it’s a performance that will only garner applause for so long. There is a clear sense that the U of O must expect much more from its president through the remainder of his four-year term. As the U of O’s Vision 2010 strategic plan nears its end next year, it will be up to Rock to provide a

Ross ‘john maynard keynes’ Prusakowski Business Manager [email protected]

target of excellence will not be forged through similarly risk-adverse leadership in coming years. Rather, reaching the destination will require Rock to identify the qualities, values, and resources lacking at the U of O, plot a clear and decisive path to attain them, and rally a diverse campus around his vision. The ambition upon which the tag ‘Canada’s University’ is hinged requires dramatic changes to every level of the U of O in order to be realized, as the U of O in its current form likely isn’t anyone’s ideal of the country’s premier academic institution. It is Rock’s leadership alone that will define the University of Ottawa’s mission to truly earn the lofty title of Canada’s University. Rome indeed wasn’t built in a day. But with one year of learning under his belt, U of O staff and students alike will be expecting blueprints and some architectural innovation from Rock as he enters his second of four years at the head of the university. The president has capably overseen the minutia of the school for one year; now we await the more ambitious side of Allan Rock. [email protected]

Contributors

Robert ‘401(k)’ Olender On-campus Distributor Deidre ‘bank of canada’ Butters Advertising Representative [email protected]

new vision, complete with drive and purpose to urge the U of O ahead in Canadian academia. The U of O has unilaterally adopted the moniker ‘Canada’s University’—a heady statement that to many observers has signalled a desire to be the foremost academic institution in the country. They are powerful words that— while impressive in print alone—require a grand commitment from the university to ensure they are not but empty promises. ‘Canada’s University’ should be a Canadian student’s first-choice destination, an internationally renowned institution committed to the highest standards of education in the classroom and beyond, a home to innovative professors and researchers in all fields, and—above all— focused on providing the ultimate student experience through a vibrant, functional, and involved campus environment. With the ‘Canada’s University’ tag now intrinsically attached to the image of the U of O, aspiring for anything short of these ideals will only be seen as a failure. While Rock’s neutralist approach has been appropriate for a president in the early stages of his term, a path to the U of O’s self-imposed

Dave ‘bernie madoff’ Atkinson Katie ‘hedge funds’ DeClerq Tyler ‘regulatory body’ Dickerson Kristyn ‘bonus-gate’ Filip Sarah ‘systemic risk regulator’ Gisele Aaron ‘tim geitner’ Kozak Devon ‘jim cramer’ Roberts

Maureen ‘synchronized global recession’ Robinson Anna ‘market exposure’ Rocoski Maria ‘mark carney’ Rondon Nick ‘jim flaherty’ Rudiak Émilie ‘bad debt’ Sartoretto Amlake ‘alan greenspan’ Tedla-Digaf

Cover by Martha Pearce