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Letters Support the U-Pass Re: “Standing up to City Hall” (Editorial, Nov. 21) I WOULD LIKE to thank the Fulcrum for its editorial last week on the U-Pass—it is important to have students aware of the progress and delays of the initiative. Having been involved with the project for two years, it is exciting to see it so close to coming to fruition. I would encourage all students who care to see a universal student bus pass become a reality in Ottawa, as it is in dozens of cities in North America, to email the councillors of the City of Ottawa (email addresses can be found at ottawa.ca) and express their support for the project. Supporters can stay up-to-date on the U-Pass on the “The University of Ottawa needs a Universal Bus Pass!” Facebook group. The U-Pass will save money, lower emissions, and make a more livable campus and city for students—but only if we can convey our support to city councillors to indicate its necessity. This project has risen and fallen over the last 15 years without succeeding, but we are now closer than ever. Let’s not wait another 15 years for something so crucial. This time, let’s have a Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) initiative with concrete results. Let’s

have a U-Pass. Ted Horton Board of Administration faculty director, social sciences Barrhaven solidarity Re: “Heckles” (Opinion, Nov. 21) A FEW YEARS ago, the only issue I had when I used Fallowfield park and ride was how close a parking spot I could get. Now, the only issue is I have is whether I’ll get a parking spot at all, and how much my ticket will cost if I don’t. About a month ago I did get a $65 ticket when I parked at Fallowfield on my way to campus. Despite the fact that I wasn’t blocking any other cars from leaving, I was one of several dozen cars ticketed that day. Had the transit officer been ticketing my car when I got back I likely would have punched him in the face or let loose an expletive-laced rant. Instead, I crumpled my ticket into a little ball and, in lieu of voicing my displeasure, handed my crumpled ticket to the City Hall employee when I eventually paid my ticket last week. But I digress. I read an article a few weeks ago in one of the local Barrhaven newspapers that, just like the Fulcrum article, slammed OC Transpo for their handling of the Fallowfield situation.

Contents U of O raises tuition fees

News

BOG votes to raise tuition by an average of 4.2% for 2009–10. p. 4

p. 4

Amanda Shendruk investigates the problems that riddled the recent CFS membership referendum. p. 5

Good date, Bad Flirt

Arts

Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008 It seems to me that OC Transpo are a bunch of lazy jackasses who are more content to hand out parking tickets every day than increase the size of the parking lot to accommodate their increasingly disgruntled riders. Even Barrhaven Councillor Jan Harder was quoted in the article as saying that it’s ridiculous for OC Transpo to be ticketing people when there is nowhere for them to park and they are not blocking in other cars. I couldn’t agree more with Jaclyn Lytle’s article in the Fulcrum last week; unfortunately, it’s one of a handful of like-minded articles I’ve read in the past few months. As much as I like to bitch and moan, I think I would prefer if OC Transpo just fixed the mess that is Fallowfield park and ride before I get another ticket. Steve Dunne Third-year English student Let’s blame the Irish ETHICALLY SPEAKING, NOT ethnically, I blame the Irish for the Yes victory in the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) referendum. Why is this, you ask? In the 19th century, Irish workers were brought over to England to intimidate voters to vote for a particular party. In the same way, the Yes campaign engaged in blatant electoral

fraud. I saw groups of Yes supporters standing outside polling stations harassing students. These supporters would descend on a student, explain their argument, and then guide the bewildered student to the polling station. When I voted, I even found a Yes pamphlet inside the polling station! This is unequivocally the very definition of electoral intimidation. The Referendum Oversight Committee ought to have enforced the rules and regulations of the SFUO constitution on referendums. If the CFS wants fair education fees, perhaps they should start with a fair referendum. Matt Fairbanks Third-year political science and history student Diversity and solidarity 51.8 PER CENT and 48.2 per cent are the numbers everyone is throwing around but I’d like to highlight an even better statistic: 21 per cent. That is the percentage of the student population who voted in the CFS full-membership referendum. For those who don’t know, the largest recorded voter turnout in this history of the SFUO was 18.9 per cent, which means that more students were involved in this decision than ever before.

p. 9

On top of their game

Sports

Men’s basketball vies for first place with a pair of wins. p. 16

p. 16 Feature

Women’s volleyball shut out by Lions. p. 17

Five great Canadians Megan O’Meara highlights Canada’s cream of the crop. p. 12–13 Di gets pissed. p. 22

p. 12

Now, as a member of the Yes campaign, I am overjoyed at these results, and at the realization of a dream that for many has involved years of long hours and hard work to have this choice even brought to the students. As a woman especially, I am thrilled to be a part of an organization that has fought so hard to make me feel safe and empowered on campus. But now the results are in, the campaign is over and we have collectively chosen to join the CFS. It’s time to move on. This shouldn’t be made into a win or lose situation. As a friend of mine stated, “We can change more as members than as isolated critics”. This means that we can now use our voice to help the CFS grow as an organization, become more bilingual, etc., and to bring the concerns of the No side to the table as well. It’s a matter of respect for the 21 per cent of students who got involved by voting or campaigning that we work together to unite our campus, to reach out and understand the position where everyone was coming from and move forward to a solution. This is a time to unite as a diverse student body with a wide range of opinions, but a common interest in students and their rights. Solidarity! Becky Dier-McComb Third-year women’s studies and political science student

thefulcrum.ca poll Which companion of the Order of Canada has had the greatest impact on the country?

Terry Fox Margaret Atwood Tommy Douglas Pierre Elliot Trudeau David Suzuki

Last week’s results

Do you think the Maclean’s rankings of Canadian universities accurately portray the country’s schools? Yes 29%

Hisham Kelati gets down with Bad Flirt. p. 9 Peter Henderson lists the top 5 Ottawa celebrities. p. 10

3

No 71%

Go to thefulcrum.ca to vote! Business Department The Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa’s independent English-language student newpaper, is published by the Fulcrum Publishing Society (FPS) Inc., a not-forprofit corporation whose members consist of all Univeristy of Ottawa students. The Board of Directors (BOD) of the FPS governs all administrative and business actions of the Fulcrum and consists of the following individuals: Ross Prusakowski (President), Andrea Khanjin (Vice-President), Tyler Meredith (Chair), Peter Raaymakers, Nick Taylor-Vaisey, Toby Climie, Scott Bedard, and Andrew Wing. To contact the Fulcrum’s BOD, contact Ross Prusakowski at (613) 5625261.

Advertising Department Deidre Butters, Advertising Representative phone: (613) 880-6494 fax: (613) 562-5259 e-mail: [email protected] Check out our rate card online. Go to www.thefulcrum.ca and follow the link for “Advertisers”. Multi-market advertisers: Campus Plus: (800)265-5372 Campus Plus offers one-stop shopping for over 90 Canadian student newspapers. The Fulcrum is a proud member of Canadian University Press: www.cup.ca

Got something to say? Send your letters to [email protected] Letters deadline: Sunday, 1 p.m. Letters must be under 400 words unless discussed with the editor-in-chief. Drop off letters at 631 King Edward Ave. or e-mail [email protected]. Letters must include your name, telephone number, year, and program of study. Pseudonyms may be used after consultation with the editor-in-chief. We correct spelling and grammar to some extent. The Fulcrum will exercise discretion in printing letters that are deemed racist, homophobic, or sexist. We will not even consider hate literature or libellous material. The editor-in-chief reserves the authority on everything printed herein.

Emma Godmere News Editor [email protected]

News

Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

4

Tuition fees rise for 2009–10 by Emma Godmere Fulcrum Staff THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa’s Board of Governors (BOG) has successfully adopted the administration’s recommendations to raise tuition fees by an average of 4.2 per cent for the 2009–10 academic year. According to the university, this means the majority of students can expect to see an average increase of $200 each. Currently, the average undergraduate Arts full-time student pays $5,345.71; the same student will pay nearly $5,550 for the next academic year. The Nov. 24 BOG meeting, which saw dozens of students with Drop Fees campaign signs in attendance, was the last in a series of presentations by the administration and both the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) and the Graduate Students’ Association (GSAÉD). Despite the university’s attempt at including students in the tuition negotiation process, SFUO VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe criticized the administration, claiming they were not actually considering what he and GSAÉD external commissioner Federico Carvajal had to say.

“The administration has created these presentations and special meetings as theatre meant for one sole purpose: to attempt not to have a protest like two years ago and to increase tuition fees anyway,” said Wolfe in his presentation to the BOG. “This has not been an honest debate or an actual conversation. The entire time, the administration planned on pushing through tuition fee increases regardless of what was said. This has been an attempt to co-opt students so that they wouldn’t shut down this very meeting.” U of O President Allan Rock argued during the meeting that the process did value the perspectives of the student representatives. “I think it means that we’re showing respect. It’s certainly intended to show respect,” he said. “And Seamus, if you’re in any doubt about whether this was just theatre, listen to the questions being asked by members of the board who are much influenced by your presentations. So process matters. It’s a matter of respect, and it did make a difference.” While nine board members, including Rock, supported the increases, three board members voted against the hikes, and two abstained. Julia Morris, the graduate students’

A CFS sign displays the combined debt of all Canadian post-secondary students. representative on the BOG, said that those five votes that did not support the increase indicated that the student presentations did have an impact. “I think it had an effect; I really think that it’s a good process to have,” she said. “At least we’re consulting one another in a professional atmosphere, we’re hearing each other out, we’re [giving] coherent presentations, we see the numbers, we hear both sides of the story, and I really feel that it had an impact on the decision of those who voted against or abstained.” Two of the votes against the increases were from Morris and Ryan Ken-

photo by Martha Pearce

nery, the undergraduate representative on the BOG. Carvajal claimed that students don’t in fact have any power or influence in the administration. “I know that students have no real power on this board,” he said. “I know despite how hard our colleagues Ryan [Kennery] and Julia [Morris] might fight, they’re only two votes on this board.” Debate between BOG members following Wolfe and Carvajal’s last presentation included desires to see a draft U of O budget that would look at potentially freezing fees and instead using the university’s $50 million budget surplus from last year to give the university the

extra funds it needs for next year. “The surplus is not cash sitting on the shelf ready to be picked up and used for discretionary purposes,” said Rock. “It is money that is already committed to a legitimate and important shared purpose, which is creating new and more space on campus.” During the meeting, Rock reiterated that the university plans to invest the revenue from the tuition hike back into financial aid and scholarships. “I don’t think at this point what we’re looking for is students subsidizing students,” said Carvajal. “What we’re looking for is society in general investing in education.”

the university for almost a year—and university representatives in order to “get a full and fair understanding of the facts”. This announcement follows an incident on Nov. 22 when Rancourt was barred from entering his Macdonald Hall laboratory after Dean of Science André Lalonde allegedly changed the locks earlier that morning. Rancourt—who had all teaching assignments for the academic year revoked—discovered his key did not work on the afternoon of Nov. 22 and succeeded to jam his foot in the door once Protection officers inside the lab opened the door slightly after Rancourt knocked. He remained there for three hours with until lawyers representing the Association of Professors of the University of Ottawa (APUO) and the university administration came to an agreement allowing Rancourt’s students to retrieve personal and work items from the lab. According to Rancourt, the agreement explained that the U of O administration admitted it was barring him from his lab, pledged to negotiate further on how students and employees would be able to access lab equipment and facilities, and indicated that he would be able to retrieve his personal items then and there.

“This is a kind of occupation to ensure that the agreement gets signed,” said Rancourt. “You’re dealing with a very ... [uncooperative] institution that just does things and doesn’t feel it needs to justify it to anyone. It just decides to do things and does it, doesn’t explain in any way, doesn’t even respond to you when you ask—that’s what we’re looking at.” The embattled professor indicated that the university cited safety problems with the laboratory as the reason for the lock-changing on Nov. 22, and subsequently explained that neither Lalonde nor any other representative from the university ever previously informed him of any issues, safety or otherwise, with the laboratory. While Lalonde was not available for comment, U of O communications director Andrée Dumulon explained the university’s reasons behind barring people from entering the laboratory. “Access was prohibited because we found that there were some unauthorized individuals in the lab,” she said. After the agreement between APUO and U of O lawyers was struck, Rancourt—who had also been relieved of his responsibilities associated with the lab—was allowed to retrieve his possessions from the lab upon agreeing to leave the premises.

Laboratory lockout, CAUT review for Rancourt

Independent Committee of Inquiry to examine professor’s situation at the U of O by Emma Godmere Fulcrum Staff

photo by Frank Appleyard

Protection officers negotiated with Physics professor Denis Rancourt to leave Macdonald Hall after the university denied any access to his lab.

RELATIONS BETWEEN PHYSICS professor Denis Rancourt and the University of Ottawa will be the subject of a Canadian Association of University Teachers (CAUT) Independent Committee of Inquiry, according to two Nov. 24 letters sent to Rancourt and U of O President Allan Rock. The committee, composed of three independent professors from York University, Wilfrid Laurier University, and Rider University in New Jersey, has no set timeline for its inquiry and intends “to investigate the ongoing series of disputes between [Rancourt] and the University of Ottawa; to determine whether there were breaches of or threats to academic freedom and other faculty rights; [and] to make any appropriate recommendations”. The committee will also be speaking to both Rancourt—who indicated that the CAUT has been aware of the difficulties he has experienced with

Referendum in review The Fulcrum examines the SFUO’s CFS membership referendum by Amanda Shendruk Fulcrum Staff

[and] it wasn’t on a mass scale,” according to Lehn, the ROC did not penalize the Yes committee.

ON SUNDAY, NOV. 23, at approximately 4 a.m., the Referendum Oversight Committee (ROC) revealed that undergraduate students at the University of Ottawa would be joining approximately 500,000 students across the country as members of the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS). The announcement concluded a 13day referendum that, from the start, had its fair share of controversy. A review of the Nov. 7–20 campaign reveals that misgivings about the referendum timing, concerns surrounding the ballot question, and confusion about voting procedures were not the only problems with this referendum. Polls closed at 8 p.m. on Nov. 20, after three days of voting. After 36 hours of counting ballots—24 of those consecutive—the ROC, accompanied by Yes and No scrutineers, emerged with a tally of 51.8 per cent or 3328 votes in favour of membership and 48.2 per cent or 3068 votes against. A record 21 per cent of undergraduate students voted in the referendum, significantly more than in the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) executive and BOA elections in February, when fewer than 4,000 undergraduate students cast a ballot. Sixty-seven ballots were recorded as spoiled, three of which were from students who reportedly attempted to vote more than once. SFUO President Dean Haldenby said the SFUO is considering penalties for the three students.

Rules and regulations Over the course of the campaign, many complaints from both sides surfaced over the ROC’s referendum rules and regulations being taken lightly or altogether ignored. On the first day of campaigning, the Yes committee was ordered to remove their posters, as they were both an inch too tall and too wide, technically making them banners. In the rules and regulations a poster is defined to be no larger than 11 inches by 17 inches, and a banner can be a maximum of three feet by 10 feet. “As soon as we were made aware, we replaced the posters once again,” said CFS national chairperson and Yes committee spokesperson Katherine Giroux-Bougard. The posters were replaced within hours. On Nov. 17, the No committee filed a complaint about the Yes committee posting a video on YouTube. According to the rules and regulations, no online communities other than Facebook may be used for campaigning. The No committee claimed to receive no response from the ROC, despite the rule that the supervisory body must respond to all formal complaints within 48 hours. No action was taken against the Yes committee. “We have complaints that we’re still going through,” explained Lehn. The No committee was charged with pre-campaigning on Nov. 5, the CFS-led provincial day of action against tuition fees. As thousands of U of O students protested the high cost of post-secondary education on Morisset terrace and around the city, members of the No committee made classroom presentations in attempts to recruit volunteers for their own cause. Lehn said that on Nov. 4, the ROC sent an email to both campaigns reminding them that pre-campaigning either at the rally or in classrooms would not be acceptable. As a penalty, the No committee was not able to present in classrooms for most of the first day of campaigning on Nov. 7. The No committee lodged a complaint with the ROC following this penalty, stating that the Yes committee was using the slogan “Join the Movement” on campaign posters, a slogan that was also used on publicity materials for Nov. 5. They argued that this constituted pre-campaigning as well. Lehn explained the ROC’s decision not to penalize the Yes committee. “[The use of the slogan] was not done out of the same bad taste [as the No committee’s actions],” he said.

Neither committee was given spending limits. After all costs were tallied, the No committee spent $2,648.48 on the campaign. In order to cover expenses above the reimbursement amount of $2,000, a donation option was installed on their website at no-thanks.ca. “We did get enough money to cover [the extra expenses],” said Ryan Kennery, chairperson of the No committee. “There is [about a $100–150] surplus which we will be donating to the SFUO food bank.” Complications with the ROC in approving a disclaimer for the donation option led to the link being posted later than expected. “As the CFS adage goes: education shouldn’t be a debt sentence. But campaigning shouldn’t be a debt sentence either,” said Kennery. The Yes committee would not reveal its budget. Giroux-Bougard explained that, using its referenda budget line, the CFS funded all costs for the Yes committee above the $2,000 reimbursement limit. The CFS budget, part of which is allocated to “membership drives and referenda”, is voted on by members at national general meetings held twice a year. The CFS budget states that by May of the 2007–08 academic year, $37,335.77 out of a budgeted $75,000 had been spent on referenda. In 2008–09, the CFS has again allocated $75,000 to referenda. Although the previously agreed-upon referendum rules state that each committee will be reimbursed up to $2,000, the SFUO may consider covering a greater amount of the committees’ costs. “There’s the idea to discuss [it], now that we’ve gotten the final budgets from most people,” said Lehn. “Obviously the goal [is] to limit the amounts students actually have to spend out of their own money to express their views.”

Giroux-Bougard confirmed that students from outside Ottawa who campaigned for the CFS were not reimbursed by the CFS for expenses incurred during the trip. Volunteers were expected to shoulder the expenses themselves. The referendum not only created controversy at home, but at York University as well. An article published Nov. 24 in the University of Toronto student newspaper The Varsity reveals that York University students were angry at the York Federation of Students (YFS) executive for leaving campus unannounced in order to campaign for the Yes committee during the SFUO’s CFS membership referendum. CUPE 3903, the union representing a large portion of part-time teaching staff at York, is currently on strike, leaving thousands of students without classes. Students say the YFS, who has shut down their offices in solidarity with those on strike, is shirking its responsibilities to students. When contacted by the Fulcrum, YFS President Hamid Osman declined to comment. Interaction between Yes and No campaigners at the U of O was both positive and negative, say committee members. “I found [the interaction] overall very negative,” said Students’ Association for the Faculty of Arts President and No committee volunteer Liz Doneathy. No committee chairperson Michèle Lamarche echoed Doneathy’s statements. “Relations between both committees was tense, but mostly between the No [volunteers] and the off-campus, or nonSFUO campaigners, for the Yes [committee],” she said. Yes committee spokesperson and SFUO VP Finance Roxanne Dubois said that although situations were sometimes heated, overall interactions were positive. “Obviously things got very tense … It was a very charged campaign,” Dubois said. “Although some individuals may have felt personally insulted, and that’s on our side as well, I think that it was a hard campaign, it was an engaging campaign, and relations kept well.”

CFS

Referendum Oversight Committee

The ROC was responsible for overseeing the general administration of the referendum, and was composed of SFUO President Dean Haldenby, and Political, International, and Development Studies Student Association President Faris Lehn, along with CFS Northern Ontario organizer Christine Bourque and CFS national director for organizing Lucy Watson. On occasion, the ROC’s consistency of response to complaints was called into question by the No committee, most significantly on the matter of the defacing or destroying of campaign materials. Each committee was responsible for any acts of vandalism against the other campaign’s posters and banners. The No committee received six penalties for missing and vandalized materials, while the Yes committee received none. “We decided if there was clearly a massive poster strategy or massive poster take-down, the side that benefited from the take-down ... would [be penalized],” said Lehn. “The Yes side, at one point, had 100 posters taken down in a day.” The No committee’s most significant poster-loss complaint involved 46 posters reported missing on Nov. 12, but because “[it] could just be the usual wear and tear

www.thefulcrum.ca

Financing Both committees will be reimbursed $2,000 of their total campaign expenses. The funding for reimbursements will be split between the SFUO and the CFS.

Campaigners

Issues surrounding campaigners and campaigner relations were perhaps the most contentious during the entire referendum. The No committee had difficulty obtaining permission for off-campus volunteers. A number of students from Carleton University who wished to campaign for the No side were refused permission from the Carleton University Students Association (CUSA), who is a member of the CFS. “The process to have off-campus volunteers approved was inconsistent and arbitrary,” Kennery said, in an e-mail. “The ROC delegated all of its authority on the matter to member locals of the CFS, which made it extremely difficult to have our student volunteers approved.” Late in the campaign, however, the committee was able to get permission for two CUSA councillors to come to campus in their support. The Yes committee had students from Carleton University, Concordia University, York University, and Laurentian University campaigning on their behalf at the U of O. Both CFS-Ontario chairperson and Yes committee member Shelley Melanson and

Moving on

Despite contentious issues surrounding the referendum method and campaigning process, both the Yes and No committees have agreed that it is time to leave the experience in the past. “I think it is important to move on and it is not our intention to point fingers at people on the No side,” said Yes committee chairperson François Picard via email. Dubois agreed. “It was a hard campaign and not necessarily fun or necessarily enjoyable as a campaign, but it went through, so let’s move on together and try to do what we do for students on a daily basis,” she said. On Sunday, Nov. 23, once the results were known, chairpersons for both committees talked briefly. “We [have] discussed and agreed that both sides were essentially fighting for what they believed was best for [U of O] students,” said Lamarche. “Rather than let the issues divide us, we should let that common goal bring us together.”

Nov. 27, 2008

THE LIST ISSUE Top five actual Associated Press headlines (with commentary) 5. “Wisconsin man accused of urinating on roommate’s dog after woman refuses his sexual advances” Okay… That’s totally appropriate, right? Jennie rebuffed my suggestive glances, so I’m off to the dog bed to turn Rover into a urinal pug. That will show her! 4. “Prosthetic eye gives horse a shot at show career” As opposed to its previous options, which were a) to become a legendary creature of myth, the cylorse, b) to don an eye patch, grow a beard, and sail the high seas in search of horsey treasure, or c) be shot by a farmer. 3. “Man charged after allegedly passing gas toward cop” This man is my hero, and he should be yours, too. He had the gall to fight the man in the most juvenile and silly way possible = fart-wafting. We salute you! 2. “Teacher OK after crashing into bear on a bicycle” This, like our number one headline, has a grammatical variable in it that makes it all the more hilarious. Can you spot it? Yes you can. It seems as though a teacher smashed into a bear who was riding a bicycle. Awesome. Just… just awesome. 1. “Woman riding a donkey fights off lion with machete” There are superheroes, and they ride donkeys. I don’t care where the lion came from, I don’t care how he got that machete, and I don’t even care why this woman was riding a donkey. All I care about is that on this planet, something this awesome has occurred. —Dave Atkin Atkinson

THE LIST ISSUE

NEWS

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THE LIST ISSUE

Top five U of O controversies May–November b 5. The introduction of the Code of Conduct and its subsequent demise: When former U of O president Gilles Patry introduced a draft version of a student Code of Conduct for students this past spring, undergraduates and graduates alike immediately rallied at Tabaret Hall at the end of April to demand the draft code be dropped and an ombudsperson office and student bill of rights be created in its place. The new administration under President Allan Rock has dropped the draft code and has promised to pursue the other two demands.

U of O campaigns to end violence against women Campaign and Montreal Massacre memorial extends to all corners of campus by Laura Clementson Fulcrum Contributor

4. Cinema Politica shuts down, re-opens as Cinema Academica: Physics professor Denis Rancourt’s weekly filmviewing community group was denied further use of campus facilities by the university in September, after the U of O claimed the group violated the Ontario Human Rights Code in not providing interpretation services to its members. A community member had filed a human rights complaint against the U of O in January when the university did not continue deaf interpretation services for the film screenings, and the administration stated they could no longer allow the film screenings to continue on campus due to the complaint. Rancourt renamed the group “uOttawa Cinema Academica” and, with the help of a colleague, was able to continue the event on campus. 3. Student Appeals Centre calls U of O administration racist: The SFUO’s Student Appeal Centre released a report in November that examined the university’s handling of student appeals and alleged the existence of “unfair practices and systemic racism” within the appeals process, specifically claiming that 71 per cent of reported academic fraud cases over the last year were filed by students from visible minorities. The U of O released an official response to the report on Nov. 25.

THIS DECEMBER WILL mark the 19th anniversary of the École Polytechnique massacre in Montreal, where 14 young women were murdered in their engineering class by 25-year-old Marc Lépine in 1989. On Dec. 6, U of O students will join fellow Canadians in remembering women who have lost their lives to violence. The annual candlelight vigil and rally organized by the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) to mark the National Day of Remembrance and Action to End Violence Against Women will take place on Morisset Terrace at 5 p.m. and will unite with the city-wide vigil at Minto Park on Elgin Street (at Gilmour Street) at 6 p.m. The SFUO’s Women’s Resource Centre is leading a 14-day campaign—14 to commemorate the number of victims at Montreal’s École Polytechnique—that leads up to the Dec. 6 vigil. The Engineering Students’ Society (ESS) is also taking part, particularly in their organization of the white-ribbon campaign on campus. The white-ribbon campaign is the world’s largest male-led effort to end violence against women. Since 1991, the campaign has aimed to educate young men and boys about violence against women and how to prevent it, according to ESS white-ribbon campaign organizer Adam Welcher. “We feel we can do our part and there are a lot of men in engineering,” he said.

photo by Martha Pearce

According to WRC coordinator Jordan Leichnitz, violence against women is still a major issue that occurs even within our campus. “In Canada, one in two women over the age of 16 will experience sexual or physical assault [over their lifetime],” said Leichnitz. The campaign to end violence against women not only involved the WRC and the ESS, but also includes the participation of various federated bodies and student associations along

with several SFUO services, including the Bilingualism Centre. As part of the campaign that began Nov. 18 and lasts until Dec. 6, the WRC has organized several events, including a self-defence workshop for women, bilingual discussion groups, and bake sales to raise funds to end violence against women. For more details about these events and the white-ribbon campaign, visit dec6.sfuo.ca.

2. The Marc Kelly debacle: Sixth-year physics student Marc Kelly was deregistered by the Faculty of Science in October after his research work and methods were rejected by the Department of Physics. The university administration has also denied his request to fill a student seat on the Senate Appeals Committee as he is involved in an academic appeal himself. Earlier this month, he proceeded to email a large portion of the student population on campus about his case and his dealings with U of O President Allan Rock. Over 300 annoyed students commented on his blog in response to receiving the email. 1. CFS referendum: The 13-day November referendum that asked undergraduate students if the SFUO should join the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) was riddled with complaints and confusion from both the Yes and No committees and students in general. An absence of spending limits, the requirement of students to identify themselves on the outside envelope of their ballots, and a ballot-counting period that lasted over 48 hours were all concerns of referendum volunteers and voters. The SFUO is now a full member of the CFS after the Yes side won with 51.8 per cent of the vote. Go —Emma Godmere

THE LIST ISSUE

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NEWS

SFUO opens up the floor Students invited to submit motions to campaigns committee by Len Smirnov Fulcrum Contributor ALL UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS will soon have their first opportunity to experience the monthly meetings of the Campaigns Committee of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO). The committee will hold its first open meeting on Dec. 2 where all students will be able to submit motions and vote alongside elected committee members. The Campaigns Committee supports the organization and implementation of campaigns at the SFUO and had previously restricted its meetings to elected committee members. SFUO VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe

Nov. 27, 2008

explained that the SFUO felt motivated to open the meetings to allow students greater input into the campaigns. “If the SFUO is going to be the voice for students, every student should have the right to voice their opinion and put forth their issues,” said Wolfe. In the past, students have criticized the committee for not being representative of their interests, as many encountered complications in communicating and implementing their campaign ideas. With the new format, students will be able to attend meetings with committee members who include Wolfe, VP Student Affairs Danika Brisson, SFUO campaign organizers, two BOA members, four members from the University Affairs Roundtable (which is made up of vps university affairs from various federated bodies), one coordinator from the Roger-Guindon campus, and three undergraduate students. The SFUO expects that these changes will increase student participation in campaigns. “The changes give students ownership of the campaigns and will help to get more students involved,” said SFUO campaigns organizer

Michael Cheevers. “This method can generate more dialogue and debate.” The new format can also help students to present their campaign ideas to the SFUO and make the campaigns more reflective of student interests. “It will be a lot easier to reach out to students on issues that they think are important,” said Mike Fancie, campaign organizer. “Before, we had an elected body looking at the students’ interests and proposing relevant campaigns. This is a great avenue to explore other issues that are central to students.” Several students have already brought motions to the SFUO, and Wolfe hopes that these trends will continue. “I hope that we will have a more engaged student body as the students gain a greater political voice at the SFUO,” said Wolfe. Students can become involved in SFUO campaigns by speaking to a campaign organizer at the SFUO office, presenting motions to the campaigns committee, or attending committee meetings, including the inaugural open meeting on Dec. 2 at 5:30 p.m. in the UCU Agora.

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Vote of confidence

Where we go from here

Emma Godmere News Editor COMPLAINTS AND CONCERNS from both the Yes and No sides regarding the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO)’s referendum to join the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) may still be rolling in, but it’s time to realize—no matter which result you wanted to see—what this campus has actually achieved, beyond full membership in the CFS. Twenty-one per cent of undergraduate students on this campus felt passionate enough about what they be-

lieved was right for the campus that it pushed them to vote. It may seem like a small percentage, seeing as though the 59.1 per cent voter turnout for the recent federal election was an alltime low, but when you compare it to the 3.7 per cent turnout for last year’s SFUO presidential by-elections, this referendum was a huge victory for political awareness on campus. Regardless of how anyone wishes to define or claim “student movement”, the true student movement that emerged from this referendum was exemplified in the 6,481 undergraduate students who realized the gravity of this vote and felt passionate and motivated enough about their beliefs to head to the polls. Both sides of this referendum recruited an immense number of volunteers, a large portion of whom were never involved or even interested in student politics before, and the campaign has likely inspired them to remain involved and informed about what happens on campus. Who knows, we may have more potential SFUO executive and

Board of Administration candidates to choose from in February. Could you imagine? More than one candidate running for an SFUO executive position, and more than 6000 students casting ballots? This is a chance for change, and we’re already seeing it on our campus. The number of students volunteering on both sides of the referendum compounded with the record number who came out to vote effectively demonstrated that apathy might just be nearing its end at the U of O. And not only does this signify the beginning of change on our campus, but perhaps within the CFS, too. Since the referendum has ended— and in a few cases, before it even began—many students have indicated their desire to see the SFUO use their shiny new membership and look into making the national lobbying group a more efficient and more acceptable organization for all 500,000 members, including the recently acquired 30,000 from the U of O. So where do we go from here? First,

Staff meetings Thursdays at 1 p.m. Drop by 631 King Edward Ave. and pick up a story.

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U of O students—represented by the SFUO and the Graduate Students’ Association (GSAÉD)—go to the CFS National General Meeting (NGM) Nov. 26–29 in Gatineau as member locals 94 and 41, respectively. Will we experience major change there? Probably not. Is the entire campus going to be united behind any CFS-related actions? I seriously doubt it. Regardless, CFS membership will still continue to affect us for the months ahead. Right now there’s no way to know if an issue as polarizing as the CFS will appear in the spring SFUO and GSAÉD elections to push students to the polls, but it’s crucial that voters find the same motivation they experienced this month to get out themselves to the polls and vote next February. Or, you could even consider running. The SFUO is expected to release more information about its elections next month... [email protected] 613-562-5260

Ottawatch Some post-secondary education issues on new Parliament’s agenda POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION ISSUES may not have been the focus of the opening of the 40th Parliament on Nov. 18, however the re-elected Conservative government did offer some promises for students. While concern for the global and national economic situations made up the bulk of the speech from the Throne, the government pledged to continue its support of financial assistance for students, institute additional measures to promote enrolment in apprenticeships and skilled trades, and work to attract top international students to Canada. In the debate that followed the speech, Gary Goodyear, minister of state for science and technology, highlighted the Vanier Canada Graduate Scholarship Program that is now accepting applications. Designed to support Canada’s capacity for excellence in research and education, the new program will provide 500 three-year graduate scholarships worth up to $50,000 per year to top Canadian and incoming international students in the social sciences and humanities, science and technology, and health. Looking ahead to business in coming weeks, several private members’ motions have been tabled on the topics of students and post-secondary education. Private members’ motions are draft resolutions submitted by any member of Parliament who is not a cabinet minister, a parliamentary secretary, the speaker of the house, or the deputy speaker. If they pass, the motion is adopted as an official message endorsed by the House of Commons, normally accompanied by a course of action the government is expected to take. In the first few days of parliamentary proceedings, Liberal member of Parliament Keith Martin moved to discuss the Canada Student Loan Program, and NDP MP Peter Julian moved to discuss post-secondary education. —Kenny Dodd

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Nov. 27, 2008

THE LIST ISSUE Top five Fulcrum news quotes since September 5. “Tomorrow we will fight harder than we fought today!” —Brittany Smyth, Carleton University Student Association president, at the November 5 Drop tuition fees rally. 4. “We have made people cry with fright and we are proud of it.” —Antonio Carito, Students’ Association of the Faculty of Arts haunted house coordinator. 3. “[I’ve been] up for most of the night drinking beer and yakking with friends. Can anyone here relate to that?” —Bob Rae, Liberal member of Parliament, talking to students at the University of Western Ontario. 2. “We’re not dead yet.” —Student Federation of the University of Ottawa President Dean Haldenby, regarding the U-Pass’s reconsideration at city council. 1. “It’s very present in my mind as I sit in this office and in this building, how it sometimes felt that the distance between the student government and the administration was farther than just across Laurier Avenue. It seemed like it was across the universe. Now that I’m sitting on this side of Laurier Avenue, I try to keep that in my mind, and I try to say to myself, ‘How can I address that feeling? How can I make people feel as though Laurier Avenue is not that wide after all?’” —U of O President Allan Rock in an interview with Fulcrum news editor Emma Godmere. — Amanda Shendruk

Top five campaigns that won’t get past the SFUO campaigns committee 5. Support the U of O administration. Let’s just trust their judgement. 4. Trilingualism test for SFUO executive. The narrower the pool of candidates, the better candidates we’ll have! 3. Join up! There’s no job like the Canadian Forces. 2. Raise quorum for elections to 25 per cent of students. Also, make sure someone runs for SFUO president this year. 1. Hug it out. Complaining never accomplished anything anyway. —Ben Myers

THE LIST ISSUE NEWS

7

News in brief

homecoming itself may not be the direct cause of the “Aberdeen Street gathering”, moving the timing and changing the event is “an essential part of the solution”. Several students have voiced their preference for a stricter ban on the Aberdeen Street parties, while others want to see the proposed changes in order to move away from the out-ofcontrol party that many believe hurts the school’s reputation. —Joe Howell, Ontario Bureau Chief Post-secondary world plagued with high drop-out rate

photo by Jaimmie Riley (CUP)

Queen’s cancels homecoming to combat massive street party TORONTO (CUP) – AT A PRESS conference on Nov. 18, Queen’s University Principal Tom Williams announced that in 2009 and 2010, his school would change its annual fall homecoming tradition to a “homecoming-styled” reunion in May. It’s the latest step Queen’s has taken to battle the massive, infamous Aberdeen Street party that has become

inextricably linked with homecoming. In 2005, the celebrations turned into a riot when partiers flipped a car and set it on fire, and hurled bottles at police. Last year, one sergeant called the event a “success”, with only 54 people arrested. This year, a 35-year-old was hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after being assaulted by a 19-year-old from Ottawa in town for the party. Williams indicated that while

HAMILTON (CUP) – A RECENT STUDY by Statistics Canada and the Department of Human Resources and Social Development shows many Canadian students are dropping out of post-secondary institutions, and only a few are coming back. The six-year study began in 1999 and the results show that 15 per cent of students who attended a post-secondary institution dropped out before completion. The most frequent reasons cited for leaving school were to travel, change institutions or programs, take a break, or work. Only 10 per cent of the students who dropped out cited financial strain as the cause. The rate of students returning to post-secondary studies after dropping out is still quite high, depending on their reason for leaving. For example, 68 per cent of students who

left school to travel came back within two years, and 47 per cent who listed changing their school or program as their reason came back. However, only 28 per cent who left to work, and 29 per cent who left because their grades were too low returned to school. The survey did not specify whether the students returned to their original studies or entered new programs. Despite the study’s findings, Canada boasts the highest rate of postsecondary attainment in the world. Even with the 15 per cent dropout rate, there has been a steady increase in Canadian college and university enrolment in recent years. —Lily Panamsky, The Silhouette

reach an agreement. York administration has suggested that both sides agree to binding arbitration, which would bring in a third party to impose a compromise. CUPE 3903 has refused binding arbitration, saying it would take power out of their hands. Students also criticized the York Federation of Students (YFS) for supporting striking graduate students. Protesters said the YFS is supposed to represent undergraduate students, not CUPE 3903. The strike started on Nov. 6 after several months of failed negotiations surrounding wage increases. —Andrew Fletcher, Excalibur

Students rally against York strike TORONTO (CUP) – WHAT STARTED AS a Facebook group expressing student frustration with a part-time faculty strike turned into a large rally with over 200 students in attendance on Nov. 17 at Toronto’s York University. The ongoing labour dispute between CUPE 3903—the union representing York’s teaching assistants, graduate assistants, and contract faculty—and the York administration has locked students out of classes for two weeks. Many York students at the rally said they felt like hostages of CUPE 3903, and criticized both the York administration and the union for failing to

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Arts & Culture

Peter Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected]

Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

9

Bad Flirt is actually quite charming

photo courtesy Bad Flirt

Mary Kate and Ashley’s favourite band is coming to town by Hisham Kelati Fulcrum Staff FOR A BAND whose name suggests that the group would be a bad night out, Bad Flirt does their best to make every show a good time. Currently touring in support of its third album, Virgin Talk, Bad Flirt began as the solo project of Jasamine White-Gluz, a singer and songwriter from Montreal. In 2003, she released her debut EP, The August Issue, under the name Bad Flirt. After taking a break from touring in 2004, she began working on a second EP. This was when she decided to expand Bad Flirt and bring in a few other musicians, turning it into a full band affair. “I didn’t really like playing solo. It’s sort of lonely to go on tour by yourself,” she explains. “Musically, that’s not what I wanted to do. I’m not really a huge fan of a singer-songwriter type and those kinds of shows. I always wanted to have a band—it was just a question of finding the right people.” Bad Flirt put out their first album with the new lineup, 6 Ways to Break Your Heart, in 2005. The band’s lineup now consists of WhiteGluz on lead vocals and guitar, Evan Dubinsky

on keyboards and vocals, Laura Lloyd on gui- childhood, growing up, music, and family. And tar, Nick Knowles on guitar and bass, and Raf a lot of sitcoms then had those [themes], so De La Durantaye on drums. White-Gluz found we based our songs around that. And if you’re it a relief to have other people take over the sneaky, you’ll figure out which songs go with which sitcoms.” backing instruments. While explaining that the band’s inception “I started off as an acoustic guitar [player] for most of the time, and electric towards the and initial fame started off in the deep roots end,” she says. “I’d have drum samples and of Montreal’s music scene, White-Gluz credits loops playing as well. It’s just kind of boring to another source as the reason for the band’s success. have just one person up there on stage.” “Montreal has a great music scene, and a lot When asked to define Bad Flirt’s music, White-Gluz hesitantly refers to it as indie pop. of great bands come from it, but it had absolutely nothing to do “I think live, we’re much louder than with our success,” she explains. “The real people expect,” she exreason is all the tourplains. “Me and Laura “I didn’t really like playing ing—every tour that are kind of loud, and people are shocked solo. It’s sort of lonely to go we do, we get better and better. The only we’re not as poppy. on tour by yourself.” But I guess we’re at the way that our influencroot of it, poppy, and Jasamine White-Gluz es—the 80s hard-rock bands—made it was we are an indie-rock by getting in the van band, so I guess we’re and playing as many indie pop. shows as possible. We “Our influences are the bands that sound nothing like us—80s were really influenced by playing in other cities hardcore and 90s rock. It doesn’t filter through and other countries.” The heavy touring across both Canada and into our songwriting, but it influences us perthe United States has allowed for Bad Flirt to sonally tremendously.” As for Virgin Talk, the themes on the album continually mature as a group, and the band hit close to home—the group’s favourite 1990s has come a long way since its birth as a oneTV shows. woman show in 2002. The band’s development “The album is a themed record, based on can be heard over their two albums, as they sitcoms of the 90s that we’re fans of. It’s about have moved from simple, minimalist lyrics and

arrangements to songs that are multi-layered and complex. “In 2005, in terms of performance and music, we’ve also gotten a whole lot better,” WhiteGluz says. “We were a little sloppier [back then], very lo-fi, but now we have sequences and pre-programmed bits.” Bad Flirt’s popularity isn’t limited to those north of the border. The band has played gigs all over America, and found fans in surprising places. “We went to York, Pennsylvania, a place that before this tour I’d never heard of,” White-Gluz explains. “There was an official Bad Flirt fan club in a place we’ve never been to.” The band was even the winner of the first ever battle of the bands on Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s website, which gave them a showcase spot on the site and a huge amount of free publicity. After finishing a few gigs in Texas, Bad Flirt is coming back to Canada. They play Zaphod’s on Dec. 3, and the band is looking forward to returning to their home country. “In Canada, we have a big-ass country, and it’s hard to get across, but of the stops we make, Ottawa and Montreal are definitely always two of them. We’re not forgetting about home.” Bad Flirt plays Zaphod Beeblebrox on Dec. 3 with Receivers and Micarza Camaro. Tickets are $8 in advance from ticketweb.ca. Doors open at 8 p.m. 19+.

Listening to the Library Voices

THE LIST ISSUE Top five most successful Ottawa celebrities 5. Tom Green He may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but Green’s definitely one of Ottawa’s best exports. Green got his start on the U of O’s CHUO 89.1FM, even though he wasn’t registered at the university, and he eventually became one of Canada’s most popular comedians. The utter disaster that was Freddy Got Fingered killed his movie career, but Green is experiencing something of a career renaissance now, thanks to his Internet talk-show hit Tom Green’s House Tonight. He’s doing pretty well for a kid who once filmed a video with his hip-hop group Organized Rhyme on Elgin Street. 4. Dan Aykroyd He may have fallen off the celebrity radar lately, but there was a time when Ottawa-born Dan Aykroyd could do no wrong. In the late 1970s, Aykroyd was one of the performers in the legendary original cast of Saturday Night Live. In the 1980s, he wrote and starred in a series of hit movies, including The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters. He has the unique distinction of being the only Ottawa native to be nominated for an Academy Award (Best Actor in a Supporting Role for 1982’s Driving Miss Daisy). 3. Peter Jennings Peter Jennings was one of the most respected journalists in America during his decades as an anchor, and his work helped shape modern network news. He ascended to the job in 1965 at the age of 26, his good looks and intelligent reporting having earned him the top spot at ABC. Although his first stint was short-lived, he returned as a co-anchor of ABC’s World News Tonight in 1978 and was promoted to sole anchor in 1983. Sixteen Emmys, two Peabody awards, and an Order of Canada later, this Carleton University dropout became one of the most trusted men in news for decades until his death in 2005.

From the Prairies and ‘pop as fuck’ by Peter Henderson Fulcrum Staff

2. Alex Trebek Trebek grew up in Ottawa and graduated from the U of O in 1961 with a degree in philosophy and political science. He still credits the university with instilling in him a lifelong love of education, something he’s put to good use during his 24 years as the host of the game show Jeopardy!. Trebek got his start hosting on the Canadian high-school game-show Reach for the Top, and eventually wound up as the ringmaster of one of television’s most popular and longest-running game shows. Trebek also has the honour of having stars on both the Canadian and American Walks of Fame. 1. Alanis Morissette Everyone’s favourite angry chick is a hometown gal, and her massive success in the 1990s made her an international celebrity. Morissette’s first two albums were reasonably successful dance-pop concoctions, but she hit it big with Jagged Little Pill in 1995—the album went platinum in dozens of countries, and ended up selling over 30 million copies worldwide. Morissette continued her success with Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie and Under Rug Swept. Although her latest albums haven’t repeated the success of Jagged Little Pill, Alanis is still Ottawa’s biggest star. —Peter Henderson

THE LIST ISSUE

10

photo courtesy Sarah Wyse

ARTS

REGINA-BASED DECTET Library Voices are a Canadian pop collective that use far more than the traditional arsenal of instruments. Organs, accordions, glockenspiels, cellos, and even the theremin populate their music, and they’re bringing their travelling carnival of sound to Zaphod Beeblebrox on Nov. 28. Library Voices is touring in support of their debut EP, Hunting Ghosts (& Other Collected Shorts), which was released in September by Young Soul Records. Their sound is halfway between ska music and Arcade Fire, with upbeat songs that are both deeply complex and perfectly danceable. Their website claims that they are unashamedly “pop as fuck”. Michael Dawson, lead lyricist for Library Voices, does a little bit of everything with the band. “I play a bunch of miscellaneous things,” he says. “Keyboards, noises, theremin, a little bit of guitar, a little bit of bass, [and] I write the lyrics.” Library Voices evolved over a very short period of time in the spring of 2008, with all 10 members joining within the first few days of its existence. “It literally sort of fell together overnight,” explains Dawson. “Carl [Johnson] and I had been writing songs off and on for forever.

Nov. 27, 2008

We all just kind of got together with some friends, and those friends grew into more friends. Really quickly, it just sort of took off. Within the first couple weeks of practicing, we played our first show, and we were in the studio shortly after that.” The 10 members of Library Voices are Dawson, Johnson, Darcy McIntyre, Eoin Hickey-Cameron, Karla Miller, Brett Dolter, Amanda Scandrett, Mike Thievin, Paul Gutheil, and Brennan Ross. Touring is a challenge for the group, but Dawson thinks that the large amount of members actually makes it easier on the band. “There’s moments [on tour] when we’re close, and moments when we want to kill each other,” he says. “It’s like that even in smaller bands, though. There’s a major advantage to [having] 10 people, in that you can branch off and sort of have your own little clique for that day. It gets a little crowded in the van as well, but that’s something we put up with— it’s a trade-off.” The band has already garnered attention from local promoters in Regina. They played at and were featured in a TV commercial for the Regina Folk Festival, where they shared the stage with Broken Social Scene, The Weakerthans, and Final Fantasy. “It’s great,” says Dawson. “The opportunities just keep snowballing. It’s nice when it’s a band you actually listen to. Getting to share the stage with them is flattering, if nothing else.” All the members of the band shared the songwriting duties on Hunting Ghosts, which is something rare among collectives as one or two people usually act as bandleader. “In most cases, you’ll have the basic song

structure,” says Dawson. “Someone will just come up with an idea, and you’ll just see everyone’s eyes light up and you know that that’s going to be the dominant instrument or where we’re going to go with that part. “A lot of us cut our teeth in punk rock,” Dawson adds. “As you get older, you realize how much more you can do with music. In our case, it really sincerely is a collaborative effort. For us it’s about keeping it clear and keeping it interesting.” Hunting Ghosts was recorded in a short period of time, as the band had already honed their sound performing live. Library Voices are currently working on a follow-up, and they’re taking the lessons they learned from recording Hunting Ghosts to heart. “When we did our first EP, we just went in and hammered it out as quickly as we could,” says Dawson. “We showed up and played the songs exactly how we’d been practicing them. We’re back in the studio right now, finishing up a full-length, and on that one we have taken the opposite approach. Instead of just going in and recording our songs, we’re actually trying to make an album—experimenting, trying out all sorts of different amps and combinations.” The next step for Library Voices is finishing up their full-length debut, projected for release early next year. After that, they plan to return to the road and tour in Canada and the United States. “We just have a handful of overdubs to do,” explains Dawson. “We’ll get that all wrapped up by the end of December, then take January to get that ready and get that released, and then in February we’re back out [on the road], headed west.”

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Winnipeg’s man behind the music

THE LIST ISSUE Top five greatest supervillains 5. Khan Noonien Singh: The closest thing Star Trek’s Captain Kirk ever had to a real nemesis. Paraphrasing Moby Dick while firing photon torpedoes—that’s badass. 4. Stewie Griffin: Plotting worlddomination while still in the womb. Tell me he isn’t on his way to becoming emperor of the Earth. 3. Hannibal Lecter: “A census-taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.” 2. The Joker: A deranged psychotic madman who likes to wear clown makeup and a bright purple, threepiece suit. The Joker was Batman’s arch-rival, and the only one who ever struck true fear into his heart. 1. The ghosts from Pac-Man: Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde are always eating. They will never stop. They will get you. —Hisham Kelati

Top five movies you didn’t know were based on books

Producer John Paul Peters hopes to put Winnipeg on the Canadian music map with his studio, Private Ear.

John Paul Peters talks about how he got into audio engineering and his philosophy as a producer by Curran Faris The Uniter WINNIPEG (CUP) – WHAT DO HARDCORE heavyweights Comeback Kid, pop-magicians the Waking Eyes, and Canadian Idol contestant Katelyn Dawn have in common? All three acts have had their albums recorded by renowned audio engineer John Paul Peters. Originally from Steinbach, Manitoba, Peters has played guitar in both the punk band The Undecided and the seminal hardcore band Officer Down. Peters says he got his first taste of audio engineering by recording rough demos in his basement. “I just like being in the studio. I loved recording, playing the instruments, and being under the gun—I love that part of it,” the 31-yearold says from the control room of his new Winnipeg studio, Private Ear. When it comes to engineering, Peters is essentially self-taught. Instead of attending an engineering program at a college, he learned through heavy reading, trial and error in the studio, and working as a studio apprentice. “That’s the fastest way to learn. Not that school

photo by Mark Reimer (CUP)

isn’t a very valid way to learn, but I’ve always [believed that] you decide what you need to learn and then you make a way to learn it.” Peters has been moving quickly. He began his career working as a freelance engineer out of various studios in Manitoba. In 2003, he worked on his first internationally successful record, Comeback Kid’s Turn It Around. When compared with cities like Toronto or Vancouver, Winnipeg seems to be a small market for an audio engineer, with only a few big name bands like the Weakerthans and Propagandhi making their homes there. However, Peters says Winnipeg is “a busy music place,” and he has no intentions of leaving.

is a hidden oasis. The heavy steel doors and concrete floors give way to newly built walls, decorative throw rugs, hardwood floors, comfortable lighting, and a control room that would make any band swoon. With a brand-new studio, Peters seems to have the perfect environment to complement his approach when it comes to recording. “My philosophy is to help the artist realize their goal, not my goal for the project,” says Peters. His role often varies in the studio—in some cases he gets involved with the writing, arranging, and performing of a song, while in other situations he remains behind the control board. “I actually like being more creatively involved than being less creatively involved,” he says. “I prefer to have [more] responsibility.” In either case, the final decisions are always left to the artist. Neil Cameron, co-owner of Private Ear and an accomplished recording engineer, says Peters’ versatility and ability to fill numerous roles in the studio is what makes John Paul Peters him such a unique engineer. “He’s really, really good [in] a lot of different areas; he’s an excellent musician, he’s After the 2003 Comeback Kid record, Peters got great ideas, he works with people really well and worked independently out of his basement. With he’s an absolute wizard on [music recording/editing bands like Figure Four, The Ripperz, and Evil Sur- software] Pro Tools,” Cameron says. “He impresses vives knocking on his door, he made the decision to me every day.” For Peters, it’s all in a day’s work. jump to a bigger workspace. “I try to bring everything I am capable of to evPeters is now part owner of the newly relocated and renovated Private Ear Recording Studio. Lo- ery project, and to take everybody a step above of cated in an old chemical warehouse, Private Ear where they thought they’d be, and if I can do that, is unassuming from the outside. Inside, the studio then my job is worthwhile.”

“I just like being in the studio. I loved recording, playing the instruments, and being under the gun.”

www.thefulcrum.ca

Nov. 27, 2008

5. Casino Royale: The 2006 film, starring Daniel Craig as the striking, blond 007, is based on Ian Fleming’s 1953 novel of the same name, which marked the debut of Bond, James Bond. 4. Schindler’s List: Thomas Keneally’s novel Schindler’s Ark was this movie’s inspiration. Keneally’s book was based on the life of Oskar Schindler, an opportunistic and altruistic businessman who saved over 1,000 Jewish workers from persecution during the Holocaust by employing them in his factories. 3. Forrest Gump: Based on the 1986 work of the same name by Winston Groom, the film starring Tom Hanks came out in 1994, making “run Forrest run” the most popular out-ofcontext phrase of the 90s. 2. Troy: The 2004 film, starring Brad Pitt ’s greased, rippling muscles, was taken from Homer’s epic The Iliad, though it also incorporates parts of his other poem about the Trojan War, The Odyssey. 1. Blade Runner: The dystopian film, released in 1982, was very loosely based on the 1968 novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick. —Jaclyn Lytle

THE LIST ISSUE ARTS

11

Five diverse companions of the Order of Canada

Celebrated Cana

by Megan O’Meara Fulcrum Staff

THE ORDER OF Canada is among the highest awards given in Canada, and its members have made a notable contribution to the nation’s culture and community. This award was created in 1967 by the Government of Canada.Winners are determined by an advisory board led by the Governor General. According to the Order of Canada website,

this honour is awarded to an individual based on “the highest degree of merit to Canada and humanity, an outstanding level of talent and service to Canadians, or an exceptional contribution to Canada or Canadians.” There are three levels found within the Order: members, officers, and companions. Members are rewarded for their impact at a local level and officers for their remarkable involvement at the national level. Although

the contributions made by members and officers are equally diverse, being named a companion recognizes an enormous positive impact on Canadian society as well as on an international scale. It is the highest civilian honour in Canada. The number of companions appointed each year is limited to 15, but the total number of living companions cannot exceed 165, exemplifying the exclusivity of this honour.

Five of the most notable and recognizable companions include humanitarian Terry Fox, novelist Margaret Atwood, NDP party leader Tommy Douglas, former prime minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, and environmentalist David Suzuki. Each of these recipients are recognized for very different accomplishments and contributions. They are notable for both their diversity of ideas and notoriety in Canadian society.

page 12 | the fulcrum

Terry Fox Though he lived only to be 22 years old, Terrance Fox had an incredible impact in Canada. Fox grew up in Port Coquitlam, B.C., and was known for his athleticism in high school, being named athlete of the year in his senior year. He was only 18 when diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma (bone cancer) and, after undergoing both chemotherapy and radiation treatment, had his right leg amputated. Fox was unsatisfied with the insufficient level of cancer research going on in Canada and decided to put his athletic skills to use. His defining moment was his decision to run a marathon across Canada in order to raise funds for research. He named his run the Marathon of Hope and began in St. John’s, Newfoundland, on April 12, 1980. Fox ran for 143 days, covering 5,373 kilometres between St. John’s and Thunder Bay. Fox was forced to stop in Thunder Bay on Sept. 1, 1980 when, after numerous tests, he was told by his doctors that the cancer had spread to both of his lungs. Canadians who had followed his progress over the fourmonth marathon were shocked. He passed away less than a year

later after contracting pneumonia. His funeral was broadcast nationally. Although Fox was unable to complete his run, the Terry Fox Foundation has kept his legacy alive by hosting the Terry Fox Run annually in schools and communities across Canada and in countries including Japan, Australia, Cuba, Poland, Kenya, Saudi Arabia. Over $400 million has been raised in Fox’s name for cancer research, and the event continues to flourish with the help of thousands of volunteers who organize the run each year. Fox was named a companion of the Order of Canada in 1980. Governor General Edward Schreyer travelled to Port Coquitlam to present him with the award, two weeks after he was forced to stop running. At the official ceremony, Schreyer applauded Fox for his determination and patriotism: “By his disregard for his own pain, and by his devotion to a great cause, Terry embodies the motto of the Order of Canada: They desire a better country.” Fox remains the youngest person ever to receive the honour.

Margaret Atwood Margaret Atwood is most celebrated for her literary contributions to Canada, as her Canadian heritage often influenced her writing; in setting, plot, and theme. Her work is internationally renowned and has helped Canada cement itself in the literary world. Some of her most critically acclaimed novels include The Blind Assassin, Surfacing, The Handmaid’s Tale, and Cat’s Eye. Born in Ottawa, Atwood attended Victoria College at the University of Toronto. In 1961, she obtained her Bachelor of Arts in English with minors in philosophy and French. She went on to earn an honours degree from Har-

vard’s Radcliffe College. Atwood has written novels, poems, short stories, non-fiction, and even children’s books throughout her career. She is still actively writing at age 69, and her 13th novel is expected to be released next year. While many know Atwood as an extraordinary author, few are aware of the many other contributions she has made to Canada over the past four decades. In the late 1960s and 70s, she was a professor at several universities, including the University of British Columbia and York University. She has always been active in the political sphere, advocating passionately for woman’s rights, environmental

policies, and arts. Over the years, Atwood has been present for rallies and protests and can often be found in various community promoting her beliefs. In the 2008 federal election, she promoted the Green party, emphasizing her support for Elizabeth May. Atwood also attended a rally for the Bloc Québécois to show her support for their arts platform, despite the fact that she is not a Quebec resident. Atwood was named a companion of the Order in 1981, in recognition of not only her outstanding contribution to Canadian culture, but also the influential role she has played in the environmental and feminist communities.

adians David Suzuki

Pierre Elliot Trudeau Pierre Elliot Trudeau is one of the most popular individuals in Canadian history, known for his charismatic leadership throughout the late 1960s to early 80s. As leader of the Liberal party, Trudeau was Canada’s 15th prime minister, serving from 1968 to 1979. After an interim of less than a year, he returned to office to serve from 1980 to 1984. Trudeau’s performance as prime minister was a source of controversy due to his unconventional behaviour. In an official visit from Queen Elizabeth II, he broke royal etiquette by doing a pirouette behind her back, much to the delight of the media looking on. He was also known for using obscenities in the House of Commons. His conduct usually brought him to the forefront of Canadian media. As prime minister, Trudeau strongly supported the recently implemented universal health care system, and refused to be persuaded by those who opposed it. Trudeau also implemented French as an official language of Canada, integrating it into every aspect of the federal government. Despite his best efforts, he was unable to extend his law on language to provincial governments. Trudeau’s greatest accomplish-

ment during his tenure as prime minister was the institution of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms in 1982, entrenching a bill of rights into Canada’s constitution. In front of a crowd of thousands, including Queen Elizabeth II, Trudeau spoke of the achievement. “It is in that spirit of faith, and of confidence, that I join with Canadians everywhere in sharing this day of national achievement. It is in their name, Your Majesty, that I now invite you, the Queen of Canada, to give solemn proclamation to our new constitution.” Trudeau was honoured as a companion of the Order in 1985, shortly after his term as prime minister ended. As Rex Murphy wrote in The Globe and Mail, shortly after Trudeau’s death in 2000: “Pierre Trudeau among us was his greatest contribution. He was a presence of such ease and grace, of so many—apparently— casually acquired accomplishments, intellectual and social, in two languages more fluent and ready than the rest of us in one, the man on the flying trapeze in one guise, the legal scholiast in another … patriot and cosmopolitan, parent and politician—what Francis Bacon called in a different context ‘a full man’.”

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Tommy Douglas is best known as the father of Canada’s publicly funded health-insurance system. Douglas was passionate about healthcare in Canada because of his own experiences with medical issues. As a child, he had several unsuccessful surgeries for a bone infection in his knee. His parents were unable to pay for specialists to treat him and doctors advised that his leg be amputated. A visiting surgeon saved his leg by performing an operation for free. Douglas became leader of the Cooperative Commonwealth Foundation (CCF) in 1944, which was the first socialist government in North America. While serving as the premier of Saskatchewan, Douglas created the concept for the program, and in 1962, his successor, Woodrow Lloyd, implemented it. This spawned a health-care revolution within Canadian politics as the federal government became more involved in issues of health. In 1961, he was elected the first federal leader of the New Democratic Party (NDP), which gave him the opportunity to advocate for social issues on a larger scale throughout the 10 years he held the position. During his term, Douglas notably spoke out against the War Measures Act that was introduced during the October Crisis in 1970. Douglas stepped down as NDP leader in 1971 but decided to stay in the House of Commons to become the party’s energy critic. He retired from politics in 1978 and died of cancer in 1986 at age 81. Douglas was also active outside political circles. In 1971, a foundation was founded in honour of both Douglas and former leader of the CCF, M. J. Coldwell. The Douglas-Coldwell Foundation was created in dedication to the study of social democracy, and Douglas served as its first president. Douglas was named a companion of the Order in 1981 to recognize his contributions to Canadian society through his political career. During a 2005 visit to Canada, Queen Elizabeth II paid tribute to Douglas’s hard work during the Centennial Gala in Regina, Sask. “In a lifetime of most remarkable service, first to province and later to country, Premier Douglas brought social consciousness to life in the policies that directly affected the lives of Canadians,” Her Highness said.

photos courtesy Governor General Archives, Wikipedia, Terry Fox Foundsation, Archives of Ontario

Tommy Douglas

David Suzuki is one of the most recent recipients of the Order, receiving this honour in 2005. He was named to the Order for his dedication to the preservation of the earth and his promotion of a sustainable society. At age 72, he is still active in promoting environmentally friendly practices to the world, speaking at universities and conferences, and starring in Canadian commercials that promote an environmentally friendly lifestyle. Suzuki was born in Vancouver in 1936. He received a Bachelor of Arts from Amherst College in Massachusetts in 1958 and earned his PhD in zoology at the University of Chicago in 1961. Moving back to Canada, Suzuki became a professor and researcher of genetics at the University of British Columbia in 1963, where he stayed until 2001. While maintaining his position at UBC, Suzuki began his broadcasting career in 1970 hosting a weekly children’s show called Suzuki on Science. Since then, he has worked for many different television and radio shows, including CBC’s Quirks and Quarks from 1975–79 and The Nature of Things which he has hosted since 1979. He continues to spread awareness through the David Suzuki Foundation, which he cofounded in 1991. Through this organization, he promotes his Nature Challenge, urging Canadians and the rest of the developed world to reduce home energy, buy local produce, and use public transportation, amongst other things. The foundation provides information on how to lead a sustainable lifestyle and encourages society to get involved on a larger scale. As a result of his hard work and dedication, Suzuki has been presented with 22 honourary degrees from universities in Canada, the United States, and Australia. He is the author of 43 books and has made a monumental impact on Canada’s environmental conscience. The official citation for his nomination stated, “Always forthright and thought provoking, [Suzuki] continues to reflect on the impact of our behaviour on the natural world that sustains us.”

Twilight

Good Film

EVERYONE HAS BEEN there—that brief moment when your eyes meet those of a beautiful stranger across the room and you forget to breathe. Unfortunately for Isabella Swan (Kristen Stewart), the look in the eyes of that beautiful stranger isn’t desire for her body—it’s desire for her blood. Twilight, based on Stephenie Meyer’s bestselling 2005 teenage romance novel of the same name and adapted for the screen by screenwriter Melanie Rosenberg, is a love story between Isabella and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). Unfortunately, Edward is a vampire, and is torn between his love for Isabella and his deep urge to sink his teeth into her flesh. Director Catherine Hardwicke’s film adaptation of Twilight perfectly captures the subtle complexities of Bella and her difficult and often dangerous relationship with Edward. Hardwicke (Thirteen, Lords of Dogtown) is no newcomer to adolescent cinematography. Her choice to film with a blue-grey palette gives this teenage romance a darker edge, pushing Twilight away from the zealously happy and overly bright ste-

B

reotype of Hollywood teen movies. The onscreen chemistry between Stewart and Pattinson is palpable in the sexually tense looks and halting breaths as they convey the burden of teenage angst in this Romeo and Julie-inspired tale. Pattinson, best known for his role as Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies, has mastered the art of the smouldering gaze, which even caused several young women in the theatre to moan out loud. However, his restrained approach to the role leaves the audience wanting more—when the time comes for real emotion, Pattinson just doesn’t have the acting range. Stewart (The Messengers, Zathura) is evocative as a young woman in love with a vampire, although she sometimes lacks the passion expected of a hormonally-charged teenager. For those who never read the book, there may be moments in Twilight that come across as overly long and drawn out, but the movie is an earnest portrayal of desire in the face of adversity. —Jessica Sukstorf

Disappointing Film

Quantum of Solace

C-

IT’S ONLY BEEN two movies, but already the based on physical qualities rather their thesnew Bond has lost his sheen. Daniel Craig re- pian talents. Kurylenko’s rather wooden perforturns as British superspy James Bond in Quan- mance as Camille Montes, Bond’s main ally, is tum of Solace, the underwhelming follow-up to acceptable given the laughable script she had to the excellent series reboot Casino Royale. The work with. Craig’s second turn as Bond proves intrigue, gadgetry, and action that made the last that he might be nothing more than a one-shot Bond film an instant classic are missing here, wonder in the role. His inscrutable demeanour replaced with nausea-inducing camerawork, and blank face worked in Casino Royale to show pointless character development, and a plot with Bond’s aloofness and chameleon-like ability to more holes than O. J. Simpson’s alibi. Quantum blend in anywhere, but in Quantum of Solace of Solace is, quite simply, a disthese same attributes make his appointment. supposed emotional developIt’s only been Quantum of Solace picks up ment completely unbelievable. where Casino Royale ended, Given the quality of Casino two movies, but with Bond determined to deRoyale, Quantum of Solace is a already the new huge disappointment. It’s not a stroy the organization that blackmailed his girlfriend and Bond has lost his terrible movie, and it has some forced her into comitting suiof the classic Bond entertainsheen. cide. The insane camerawork ment—booze, broads, and bulbegins in the initial scene, a car lets—that we’ve come to expect. chase that’s more disorienting But ultimately Quantum of Solthan a nuclear-powered merry-go-round. There ace falls frustratingly short of the bar set by its is never an establishing shot of the cars involved, predecessor. At the end of the film, your brain so it’s never clear who is chasing whom, and the feels shaken up like a snow globe that’s spent camera is zoomed in so tightly that it’s nearly weeks in the hands of a class of clumsy and curiimpossible to decipher what the hell is going on. ous second-graders. Watch Casino Royale while It only gets worse as the movie goes on, as this falling down a flight of stairs, and you’ll get pretopening reveals the ADD-fuelled camerawork ty much the same experience. that ruins every other action scene in the film. —Peter Henderson This is director Marc Forster’s (Monster’s Ball, Stranger Than Fiction) first action movie, and if there’s any justice for eyeball abuse, it will be his last. The visual incoherence is mirrored in the TTop three h plot, which soon develops into a sprawlJudd Apatow movies ing, nonsensical story of oil, water, and global warming. Apparently Bond is searching for the group that caused his girlfriend’s death, but it’s 3. Stepbrothers never actually clear who that group is. He captures the person most immediately responsible What do you get when you mix equal parts Will at the beginning of the film, but then promptly Ferrell, John C. Reilly, and the freedom to act like forgets about him. Bond also begins to disobey spoiled, belligerent 10-year-olds? The funniest his orders from his bosses at MI6, but it’s not comedy Ferrell has starred in since Anchorman. entirely clear why or, once he’s been suspended, “You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it’s like how he keeps moving from place to place. That’s Fergie meets Jesus.” Fucking hilarious. another problem with the film—there seems to be dozens of locations explored in less than two 2. Superbad hours, and the film moves at such a frenetic, chaotic pace that an intermission feels neces- When it comes to showcasing the angst faced sary. Although Paul Haggis and Neil Purvis re- by the teenager of the 21st century, Superbad turn as screenwriters after their success with Ca- does it best. The film succeeds in being a brilsino Royale, this film seems like it was written by liant teen-comedy and could even be considsomeone with the attention span of Tom Green. ered a sociological documentary. The acting of the two leads in Quantum of Solace, Craig and Olga Kurylenko, is bad 1. The 40-Year-Old Virgin enough to take away from the audience’s enjoyment of the movie. That’s saying something for a No one can portray a sexually-frustrated man film series that usually chooses its lead actresses like Steve Carell. Virgin was Apatow’s biggest hit and this movie paved the way for one of the best comedy-institutions to take over and bring If you’re reading this, you have the attention to life back to Hollywood comedies. detail we need in our proofreaders. —Hisham Kelati

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Album reviews

Guns N’ Roses Chinese Democracy

B

IT’S BEEN 14 years since work began on Chinese Democracy, the long-awaited sixth studio album from Guns N’ Roses that was finally released on Nov. 23. It’s overblown, overproduced, and overwrought, but this is to be expected from the frontman who personified arena rock. Axl Rose, lead singer, main songwriter, and the only original member of Guns N’ Roses still in the band, combines GnR’s classic anthemic style with industrial-music influences to create a multi-textual, complex album that’s somewhere between Van Halen and Nine Inch Nails. There are a few songs on Chinese Democracy that are amazing, and make up for the excessively long wait. “Shackler’s Revenge” and “I.R.S.” are incredible, standing up to the band’s

earlier work like “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Sweet Child O’ Mine”. The guitar solos in “There Was a Time” are phenomenal, one soft and evocative like a woman’s sorrowful voice and the other a triumphant, raw-edged shred. Rose shows his talent for mixing rock with soul, as neither of these disparate pieces seems out of place in the song. In fact, most of the guitar solos on the album are excellent—it’s a testament to guitarist Buckethead’s talent that he makes the listener forget the absence of Slash, GNR’s original guitarist who is widely regarded as one of the best riff-makers of all time. The album is better than it should be after years in development hell, but there are still a few missteps. “Better” just sounds like a shitty pastiche of every other Guns N’ Roses ballad, overlaid with some of the most poundingly pedestrian guitar parts ever recorded. “Street of Dreams” is a piano-driven ballad that would’ve seemed dated even in 1992, and in 2008 it’s positively archaic. These sour notes aside, Chinese Democracy is an impressive album that marries old-school arena rock with modern industrial sensibilities. It’s worth a look, even if its development did take longer than the entire career of the Beatles. —Peter Henderson

Beyoncé I Am… Sasha Fierce

Nickelback Dark Horse

D

D-

ACCORDING TO BEYONCÉ, her third album I Am… Sasha Fierce is divided into two discs to represent both her real personality and her onstage persona. In an interview with Billboard, Beyoncé explained that Sasha Fierce is the aggressive performer that she becomes under the spotlight, as opposed to her normal, more reserved self. On the first disc, I Am…, Beyoncé reveals her true self, who seems to be a whiny annoyance. The songs are a reinterpretation of the forgettable pop Beyoncé is known for, with sparse instrumentation and slower tempos that result in relentless mediocrity. The second disc, Sasha Fierce, is packed with the catchy, upbeat fluff that she’s produced countless times before. If these two albums were on random, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell which one was supposed to be the “experimental” one. I Am… Sasha Fierce is the awkward execution of a gimmick idea that wasn’t remotely interesting to begin with. —Danyal Khoral

NICKELBACK HAS HIT rock bottom with Dark Horse. While previous Nickelback releases have mixed alternative rock and sappy radio ballads with some success, their sixth album removes any semblance of that balance. On Dark Horse, the ballads are wimpy and over-produced, and the riff-based rock-outs are shallow and repetitive. Exhibit A: “S.E.X.” espouses the wonders of intercourse in curing all of life’s ills. “Next Go Round” is about sex too. And “Something In Your Mouth”—well, you figure it out. Cougars looking for sexual celebration and sympathetic ballads will be satisfied, but everyone else will want to take this horse to the glue factory. —Ben Myers

You’ll never eat brunch in this town again

Taste, criticism, and Napoleon Dynamite

Peter Henderson Arts & Culture Editor THERE’S NO ACCOUNTING for taste. As English novelist Henry Fielding once wrote, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison.” As an arts critic, it’s my job to review and rate the latest albums, movies, and games, but I can never be sure how someone else is going to feel about the things I cover. Some movies that I hate, most people love, and some movies that I love, most people hate. I always try and detail my reasons for rating a film the way I do, because sometimes the reason I hate a movie is the reason someone else will like it. The hate mail I’ve received from artists and fans of things I’ve reviewed is proof that, in the end, everybody’s tastes are different. Netflix, the American online DVD-rental service, cares about taste so much that on Oct. 2, 2006, it began offering US$1 million to whoever can improve the effectiveness of its movie recommendation algorithm—which uses statistical analysis of movie ratings by Netflix members to find similar movies—by 10 per cent. Many of the nerdiest minds in America have devoted themselves to the problem, but they’ve hit a wall around 9.6 per cent. It seems that, no matter how smart the math, there are some movies that cause utterly unpredictable reactions in the people who watch them. According to the eggheads working on the problem, one such film is Napoleon Dynamite,

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Nov. 27, 2008

the plotless, meandering independent film about teenage alienation in Idaho that became a huge hit thanks to its bizarre, offbeat humour. Supposedly, if you can figure out why people like that movie, you’ll be very close to winning that $1-million prize. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible—some movies are too unique and too individual to be compared to others. Some films are impossible to deconstruct, and how a person feels toward them is a matter of personal taste— that is, no matter what, no one can ever predict how you feel about Napoleon Dynamite. So what’s the point of criticism? I think it lies in the balance of the subjective and the objective, stating an opinion about a film but always backing it up with reason and proof. There isn’t a black and white disparity between subjectivity and objectivity—there’s a continuum between those two points, and the job of a critic is to end up somewhere in the middle. Professional critics like Roger Ebert keep their jobs because, although they have their own personal tastes, they are able to quantify and honestly discuss the strong and weak points of a film, book, or song—they explain their reviews, and ultimately let the reader decide for themselves. I’m no professional, but this is the model I follow for all of my reviews. I thought Transformers was terrible because it was big, dumb, and loud, but some other people might enjoy movies that are short on plot and believability and long on giant robots blowing each other up. One of the films I trash this week, Quantum of Solace, is a movie that most of my friends enjoyed. They were able to see past the terrible camerawork and meandering plot, and enjoy the film for its other merits. Personal taste may be inscrutable sometimes, but I’ll always try my best to explain just what makes good films good and bad films bad. [email protected] 613-252-2311

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David McClelland Sports Editor [email protected]

Sports

Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

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Different styles, same result DeAveiro after the game. DeAveiro also mentioned that the best way to play against a team like Guelph is to match their physical play. Ward agreed with his coach’s assessment. “I don’t think anyone can counter by David McClelland Guelph’s physical play. They’re basiFulcrum Staff cally a football team with basketball jerseys on,” said Ward following the game. THE GEE-GEES MEN’S basketball team “You’ve just got to [play] with them. proved that they could play two kinds of When they hit, you just try to hit back basketball on Nov. 21–22 as they defeated twice as hard.” the Brock Badgers 81-61 and the Guelph Baletic—who had six points against Gryphons 67-60. Guelph—said that the Gees had trouble While the Badgers are the defending adjusting to a different style of play beCanadian Interuniversity Sports cham- tween the two nights. pions, most of their championship team “I think we got used to [Guelph]’s level has moved on and their roster currently of physicality [in the second half]. At the includes nine first-year beginning [of the players. The Gees took game], they kind of advantage of Brock’s “I don’t think anyone can surprised us but later inexperience on Nov. we got going with the 21, shutting down the counter Guelph’s physical flow,” said Baletic. Badger’s attack in the play. They’re basically a The Gee-Gees key and using a diverse certainly looked as football team with offensive effort to sethough they were havbasketball jerseys on.” ing difficulty changcure their lead. Four Warren Ward ing their game plan Gee-Gees each scored Gee-Gees guard in the first half of the more than 10 points in the game, including game against Guelph, 16 from third-year foras they struggled to ward Nemanja Baletic and 14 from first- get points on the board. DeAveiro noted year guard Warren Ward. that Ward played a crucial role in breaking The next night, the Gee-Gees were through the Gryphon defence and findforced to play a very different style of bas- ing the basket. The Gee-Gees were able to ketball. The Gryphons played a physical build upon Ward’s efforts to beat Guelph’s game against the Gee-Gees, using their defence and hold on to the victory. intimidating defence to keep Ottawa from For his part, Ward noted that attitude running up the score. was an important factor in winning both “[Guelph] is a very physical team. It’s games. good for us since we don’t see a lot of that “When we play with urgency [and] desin our other opponents. So if we can play peration in every single game, no team can two styles of basketball—the physical kind beat us.” and then our athletic, carefree style—then it’s to our advantage down the road in the The Gee-Gees play next on Nov. 28 when playoffs,” said Ottawa head coach Dave they visit the Waterloo Warriors.

Men’s basketball racks up two more wins

OUA East standings Team

Games played

Wins

Losses

Ottawa

6

5

1

Carleton

6

5

1

Toronto

7

4

3

Ryerson

7

3

4

Queen’s

6

2

4

Laurentian

7

1

6

York

7

2

5

RMC

6

0

6

First-year guard Warren Ward gets airborne against the Brock Badgers.

photo by Alex Smyth

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Losses as stepping-stones Women’s basketball winning streak snapped by pair of losses by Hilary Caton Fulcrum Staff THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa women’s basketball team may have added a pair of losses to their record this weekend, but they’ve gained valuable perspective in return. After losing to the Brock Badgers 73-67 on Nov. 21, the Gee-Gees were defeated a second time on Nov. 22 against the dominating Guelph Gryphons, who silenced the Gees 62-53. Before the game against Brock, the Gee-Gees were on a four-game winning streak, thanks to the reorganizing efforts of head coach Andy Sparks. Although the Gees were unable to extend their streak, the losses seemed to help the team understand what it takes to become a true contender. “We still have some improvements to make. Our offence couldn’t come out, because of our weak defence,” said second-year guard Emiphoto by Alex Smyth lie Morasse—who racked up a total Fifth-year guard Kaitlin Long attempts a long shot against the Brock Badgers. of 24 points against the Gryphons.

A new role

She went on to explain that the Gees need to work on not comitting so many fouls and communicating better on the court. Morasse praised her teammates for their perseverance throughout the weekend games. “The team is great, which is why we have a different top scorer each game—each player shines in [her] own way,” she said. However, the Gee-Gees will need to improve their defence if they want to return to their winning ways. Against both Brock and Guelph, the Garnet and Grey had difficulty containing their opposition’s explosive offences. The disorganization on defence spread to the offence, with the Gees often experiencing long scoring droughts in both games. “They basically physically dominated us,” said Sparks after the game against the Gryphons. “We lost these games this weekend because we lost the inside battles. Until we start to win some of those individual battles we’ll see if they’ll learn from it and grow as players and teammates in the games ahead.” The Gee-Gees now have a 4-3 record, and are tied for third in the Ontario University Athletics East division. They next play Nov. 29 when they visit the Waterloo Warriors.

Former Gee-Gee finds her place as an assistant coach by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff MORIAH TROWELL HAS come full circle. Twice named to the Ontario University Athletics (OUA) first-team allstars when she played for the Gee-Gees, Trowell has been an assistant coach with the women’s basketball team since the beginning of the season. Trowell first played with the Gee-Gees during the 2003–04 season and was part of a resurgence of the women’s basketball program. Along with fellow all-star Julie Rodrigue, Trowell led the team to its first winning record since 1993, and to Ottawa’s first-ever OUA championship title in 2004. Trowell stopped playing after the 2005–06 season so she could take time to travel, but in the summer of 2007 she underwent shin surgery so she could play in the upcoming season. However, Trowell was a part of the group of veteran players who left the team before the regular season, the culmination of a conflict with then-head coach Carlos Brown. “It [was] a little bit frustrating, but ultimately it was up to me,” said Trowell. “I could have stayed if I wanted to. I just didn’t feel like it was a situation I needed to stay in. I don’t really have any regrets—I

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The most successful sport franchises 5. Real Madrid F.C. This Spanish football team has won a record 31 Liga de Fútbol Profesional titles and 17 Copa Del Rey trophies. The club has also won a record nine UEFA Champions League titles, and two UEFA cups. 4. Montreal Canadiens Since 1917, no National Hockey League team has had more success than the Canadiens. Montreal has won 23 Stanley Cups, eight conference championships, and 22 division championships. 3. A tie between the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers The Boston Celtics have won 17 National Basketball Association (NBA) Championship titles—ten of which were won between 1959 and 1969—20 Eastern Conference titles, and 26 Atlantic Division titles. The Lakers have won 14 NBA Championship titles, 29 Western Conference titles, and 28 Pacific Division titles. These two teams make up one of the NBA’s greatest rivalries, having faced each other 11 times in the NBA finals (Boston won in nine of those meetings). 2. The New York Yankees The Yanks have won a record 26 World Series titles, 39 American League Pennants, and 15 AL East Division titles since 1901. 1. Ferrari

Former OUA all-star Moriah Trowell is now an assistant coach with the Gee-Gees. feel badly for my teammates, obviously— but I think it was something I needed to do at the time.” When Brown was replaced as head coach by Sparks this July, Trowell became interested in returning to the team in some way, even though she had already graduated with a degree in communication. “I knew I wanted to be involved in some way [this year],” she said. “I’ve known [Sparks] for years. I played against his team [with the Gloucester Wolverines], so he was interested in me helping out … and I ended up being an assistant coach.”

Trowell has found coaching to be a far different experience than being a player. “I have so much more sympathy for all of the coaches I’ve played for now,” Trowell laughed. “It seems a lot easier from the sideline than it does on the floor. It’s easy for me to sit here and say ‘do this, do this, do that,’ but I know as a player it wasn’t that simple on the floor. So I have a new appreciation for both sides.” Trowell acts as something of a bridge between the players and the rest of the coaching staff, since she is still very close to her days as a university athlete. And even though she no longer competes for the Gee-

photo by Martha Pearce

Gees, she tries to play whenever she can. “I’m not [playing] at the moment, I’m a little bit injured,” said Trowell, pointing at the crutches next to her on the floor. “I got injured playing basketball during the summer. I don’t think I’d ever really give it up, to tell you the truth.” Trowell is returning to school at the U of O as a part-time student in January and is hoping to take the nursing second entry program beginning in the 2009–10 academic year. Provided she is still at the U of O, she plans to remain a part of the women’s basketball team for as long as she can.

Nov. 27, 2008

This team holds most of Formula One racing’s records, including most World Driver’s Championships (15), most wins of all time (209), and most podiums all-time (622). They’ve won the most times in a single season (29), and are also tied for most wins in one season (15). —Joseph Delfino

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SPORTS

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Top five ugliest professional jerseys

THE LIST ISSUE 5. San Diego Padres (1973)

An entirely bright-yellow uniform with a single black stripe running up each side. The Padres’ 1973 knits could only have been more embarrassing if the team had been renamed the Bumblebees to match the look. 4. Denver Broncos (1960–1961) Early in their professional history, the cash-strapped Broncos actually used recycled NCAA uniforms, which resulted in vertically striped socks and a brown-on-yellow colour scheme. Yes, you did not misread, brown-onyellow. 3. Houston Astros (1975–1993) The 80s-rooted typeface and baffling orange and yellow stripes around the waist were terrifying. 2. Denver Nuggets (1982–1993) Just in case you needed empirical evidence that incorporating a rainbow-coloured Denver skyline into a uniform was a bad idea, the Nuggets spent 11 years proving it. 1. Vancouver Canucks (1978–1985) If nothing else, the Canucks could have hoped their opponents would be too busy laughing at their “Flying V” uniforms (replete with giant letter V’s and an orange, yellow, and black colour scheme) to play proper hockey against them. —David McClelland

Top three sports games for the Nintendo Entertainment System

Sloppy play hurts Gee-Gees Women’s volleyball can’t top first-place York by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff MISTAKES ENDED UP costing the women’s volleyball team a victory on Nov. 22 when they lost in straight sets to the first-place York Lions at Montpetit Hall. Despite the fact that Ottawa held leads during each of the three sets, the Lions proved to be the tougher and more composed team, chipping away at the Gees’ leads and winning by scores of 25-21, 25-19, and 25-23. “We played well process-wise, attitude-wise [and] demeanour-wise, but bottom line, [the] same thing is hurting us [as in past games this season]: unforced errors in play that we can’t have from veteran players,” said GeeGees head coach Lionel Woods after the game. “I think we played harder, we definitely played tougher, but part of toughness is [knowing] when you have to execute. I’m okay with a great dig on the other side and a great hit on the other side, [but] I’m not okay with losing games by three or four points by missing three serves and three unforced errors.” The Gee-Gees opened the match strongly, collecting an early lead in the first set and playing tough defensive volleyball, but were unable to maintain the lead against an undefeated Lions squad. The Gee-Gees had difficulty

Kaely Whillans blocks a York spike during the Gee-Gees 3-0 loss on Nov. 22. regrouping and coordinating attacks, and ultimately ended up playing far too reactively. Fifth-year setter Véronique Yeon, who finished the game with two kills and 10 digs, agreed with her coach— the team needs to stop making poorly timed mistakes. “I think it was a step up from what we’ve been playing; we’ve definitely reached certain goals. [But] there’s still unforced errors that we have to eliminate,” said Yeon following the game. “We don’t know exactly what [the problem] is, but it’s just [about] getting the job [done].” While the Gees again built a signifi-

cant lead in the beginning of the second set, mistakes soon began to catch up with them and the Lions ran away with the frame. In the third and final set, the Gee-Gees finally started to get the job done, Yeon worked well with left-side hitter Karine Gagnon to generate points for Ottawa, but they couldn’t top York. The Lions, however, weren’t rattled by the Gee-Gees’ suddenly improved play and held on to win the final set. While unforced errors have been a problem this season, Yeon feels that the Gees are finally getting a grip on their problems, and should be able to work them out soon. “I think it’s getting team rhythm

U of O hosts Atlantic guests

3. Ice Hockey This 1988 Nintendo-made game truly captured the game of hockey. Even though it was far from a precise translation, the four-on-four hockey action was fast-paced and exciting, making it one of the best sports games released for the system. 2. RBI Baseball Okay, so maybe it doesn’t make sense to see catcher Pat Borders legging out an inside-the-park home run off a ground ball to left-centre field, but Tengen’s RBI Baseball 3 was still a lot of fun. They nailed the pitcher-batter interface, and the wacky results become part of the game’s charm. 1. Tecmo Super Bowl Proving that you only really need eight plays to win a football game, Tecmo Super Bowl is a classic. It’s a bit wonky at times (80-yard rushes against pass defences are all too common), but considering the era in which it was made, the game is a brilliant translation of football ootball into digital format. —David McClelland

THE LIST ISSUE

18

SPORTS

Women’s hockey wins one and loses two in exhibition games by Anna Rocoski Fulcrum Staff THE GEE-GEES WOMEN’S hockey team played host to some Atlantic guests Nov. 21–23, as the Dalhousie Tigers, St. Mary’s Huskies, and St. Francis Xavier X-Women came to Ottawa for a series of exhibition games against the Gee-Gees. The exhibition series against Atlantic University Sports (AUS) teams has been held annually for the past six years during a break in the teams’ regular schedules. Normally, teams from the AUS and Quebec Student Sports Federation—the Gee-Gees’ conference—do not cross paths outside of the year-ending championships. “The [games] don’t count for CIS points. However, with respect to the standings of how teams are ranked … it does affect our rankings in terms of where we sit in [the CIS] top ten,” explained Gee-Gees head coach Shelley Coolidge, referring to the CIS’s nation-

Nov. 27, 2008

Cass Breukelmen had the winning against the Dalhousie Tigers. al rankings of Canadian teams. On Nov. 21, the Gee-Gees played their first exhibition game against the Dalhousie Tigers, who are third in the AUS, starting the weekend off with a 6-5 victory thanks to an overtime goal from fifth-year forward Cass Breukelmen. Coolidge was pleased with her team’s performance against the Tigers.

photo by Alex Smyth

goal in overtime for the Gee-Gees

“We played an outstanding game against Dalhousie and their goaltender played really well,” explained Coolidge. “We had 50 shots on the young lady and really competed hard and got pucks in the net.” “We played really well. We came out hard and we were all over them on the forecheck,” said first-year centre Samantha Delenardo, who scored her first goal against CIS competition

photo by Martha Pearce

together. That’s the thing we found today. There were definitely less unforced errors, [and] we feel like we can actually work on those now,” said Yeon. “You take care of the things you can take care of—like serves, simple stuff—and then just push yourself and push your teammates to just go for it, be aggressive, and don’t back off.” The Gee-Gees now have a 6-3 record, good for second place in the Ontario University Athletics East Division. They next play on Nov. 28 when they host the Queen’s Golden Gaels at 7 p.m. at Montpetit Hall. Tickets are $4 for students. during the game. The next day, the Gee-Gees took on the fifth-place Huskies, and were shut out 3-0 despite hitting the net with 34 shots. “I am going to give credit to St. Mary’s—their players worked exceptionally hard and that team beat us and deserved the win,” said Coolidge. “They were first to the puck, they won the battles on the boards, and they played consistent, [while] we were inconsistent in terms of our effort.” The Gees rounded off the weekend with a 3-0 loss to the X-Women, who are second in the AUS. Despite having a number of excellent chances on the power play—including a twoplayer advantage during the second period—Ottawa was unable to find the net. Though Jessica Audet posted a good effort in net for Ottawa, she was powerless to stop the X-Women’s power-play. “As a team, we bounced back. We played a much better game overall against StFX, [but] penalties cost us. The first two goals were when we were on penalty kill,” said Coolidge. “We got a number of chances to finish things off and it just didn’t go out the way we expected it to.” The Gee-Gees resume their regular season on Nov. 29 when they visit the McGill Martlets in Montreal.

www.thefulcrum.ca

Lighting the lamp

The sports video gamer’s lament

David McClelland Sports Editor MOST SPORTS FANS can’t help but wish they were professional athletes—or at the very least, coaches and general managers. Since most of us will never get those opportunities, we often turn to video games to get a taste of the fame and glory of being an athlete. Unfortunately, video games of late are rarely what I’m looking for. Okay, so some of the classic games—such as the ones on my top three Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) sports games list on page 18 of this issue, which inspired this column—are pretty fun, if almost laughably primitive by today’s standards. Unfortunately, the

sports games released lately often seem like little more than clones of those classic games; the graphics may be more realistic than ever, but the gameplay has yet to catch up, and the feel of the game merely grazes the surface of how sports are actually played. I will grant that it would be nearly impossible to turn a sport into a video game and make it feel real, but why, given today’s technology, should we have to settle for putting a fresh coat of paint on last year’s model? Gameplay in sports games can often be cartoonish and feature incongruities that pull you out of the game—I’ve never understood, for instance, why it seems to be so hard to come close to reality when simulating pitcher fatigue in baseball games. I’m tired of having to constantly replace my starting pitchers in just the fifth or sixth inning. Every year, it seems like I hear the same promises: this year the developers got it right so buy this game and you will have an exact simulation of [insert sport here]. But once you get the game home and start playing, you begin to realize that what you’re playing is basically last year’s game with freshly updated rosters and slightly better graphics. EA Sports is particularly bad for doing this, as innovations seem to come along only once every four or five years, with each intervening year seeing little

more than a facelift. This is all-too frequent in many of their popular franchises, such as its Madden, NHL, and FIFA titles. And for every new version, the problems with the simulation of the sport itself remain. In nearly every sports game I’ve played, the medium level of difficulty should provide a reasonable facsimile of reality, with no bonuses given to either the player or the computer. Yet no game ever seems to quite break through the barrier and become truly convincing, even though games in other genres manage to be extremely convincing models of reality (flight simulators and war games come to mind). While accurate simulation should never supplant fun when it comes to sports video games, I do wish that developers would pay a little more attention to realism. It’s all about getting the details right, and now that technology has finally reached the point where it’s possible to do that, I await the day that sports video games can finally make me feel like I am, to paraphrase a certain developer’s slogan, “in the game”. [email protected] 613-562-0829

Scoreboard Team

Record

Standing

Men’s basketball

5-1

1st in OUA East (tie)

THE LIST ISSUE

Last game

Next game

67-60 win vs. Guelph

Nov. 28 at Waterloo

Top three athletes turned criminals 3. Michael Vick The first-overall pick in the 2001 National Football League draft and three-time Pro Bowler was a multitalented quarterback who was given a 10-year, US$130-million contract in 2004 by the Atlanta Falcons. This contract made him the richest player in the NFL at the time. In December 2007, a federal investigation into a dog-fighting ring known as “Bad Newz Kennels” led to the conviction of Vick, the leader of the ring. He pled guilty to felony charges and is currently serving a 23-month jail sentence. 2. Mike Tyson Nicknamed the “Baddest Man on the Planet” for his escapades inside and outside of the boxing ring, Tyson was the youngest boxer to ever win the heavyweight title at age 20. In 1992, he was convicted of raping Miss Black Rhode Island Desiree Washington, and served three years in jail. In 2007, he was convicted of possession of narcotics and driving under the influence, and was sentenced to 24 hours in jail, 360 hours community service, and three years probation. 1. O.J. Simpson

Women’s basketball

4-3

3rd in OUA East (tie)

63-52 loss vs. Guelph

Nov. 28 at Waterloo

Men’s hockey

5-4-2

4th in OUA Far East

4-3 OT loss at McGill

Dec. 2 at Carleton

Women’s hockey

4-2-0

2nd in QSSF

3-0 win vs. Carleton

Nov. 29 at McGill

Women’s volleyball

6-3

2nd in OUA East

3-0 loss vs. York

Nov. 28 vs. Queen’s. 7 p.m. Montpetit Hall.

A former star running back, Simpson won the Heisman Trophy in 1968 with the University of Southern California Trojans and was a six-time Pro Bowler. He was famously acquitted of the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman in 1995, but was convicted on all charges in October 2008 in a Las Vegas robbery case. He is currently awaiting sentencing and could face more than 60 years behind bars. —Steve Verschoote

THE LIST ISSUE

NEW COLLECTION OF CHARMS! SAVE THE TAXES, plus a chance to WIN a free bracelet & charm.

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Nov. 27, 2008

SPORTS

19

Opinion

Michael Olender Executive Editor [email protected] Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

20

Five rules for a generic epic party by Hisham Kelati Fulcrum Staff I HAVE BEEN to some terrible parties, the worst of which was in Grade 10, when the highlight consisted of party-goers reading excerpts from J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. But I’ve also been to some epic blowouts that would melt your mind. The greatest celebration ever dreamt up by humankind, which also stands as my all-time favourite memory, consisted of a 12-hour spectacle held in a wedding tent, where there were five kiddie-pools filled with beer, dozens of go-go dancers, a volcano made of nachos that spewed salsa, and a hired house band that played until 7 a.m. the next morning. But parties like that are few and far between, and there is a frighteningly high number of mediocre-to-crappy parties occurring every weekend. Unfortunately, there aren’t any comprehensive lists or rules to give guidance to those poor hosts and hostesses who wonder what went wrong when people didn’t come. So I’m offering you a list of suggestions that, if strictly followed, will serve as a template for a blockbuster party.

splinter the overall party. This anchor keeps the invitees from wandering and getting restless. The activity should take the form of a party game a large number of people can get involved in. Examples include poker or Twister (with added bonuses such as drinking or stripping every time you fall). The new party anchors these days are Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Some people might find these games annoying, as they distract from candid social interaction, but really they’re the best game for getting different people together in a non-stressful activity to have fun. 3. Food and drink It’s easiest to make the party BYOB, but you must always have ample amounts of snacks and non-alcoholic beverages present. You could be an epic host and have a bit of free booze, but to really keep the party going you should cook something. Anything. Bust out the hot dogs, pancakes, lasagna, or tiny little sandwiches with olives, and people will remember your party for years to come. And make sure to have a lot of food and drinks; it’s better to overstock than understock. Oh, and one more important point: always have ice!

1. Music The music must be good; that is a given. The playlist (yes, the songs must be pre-arranged, and you can’t just play the radio) should consist of the hottest singles on the charts at the time of the party. You want a bumpin’ party, so songs should have strong bass lines and a catchy chorus. No heavy metal. You can throw in a couple of slow-jams, but be sure to place them sparingly and towards the end of the party, so that everyone has had a chance to find someone to get in a bit of a sappy slowdance moment and take off in pairs. Throw in a couple of eclectic songs that people have never heard, which could inspire some chatter. Include a few old-school classics (The Rolling Stones, The Clash, The Sex Pistols) into the mix to score points with serious music fans.

4. A big surprise This should be the party’s main attraction. Its existence can be announced when sending out the invites or it can be announced at the appropriate time during the party’s climax (preferred). This surprise needs to be wicked, as it will undoubtedly be talked about by attendees the next day. It must be able to be enjoyed by everyone. Examples include a piñata (fill with candy, condoms, and toys), a communal fondue set (meant for a smaller crowd—fewer than 10), and an actual band performing (will assure your party is one for the books). If you decide on the champagne fountain, be careful—it will add a bit of sophistication to the evening, but a lot of bubbly may influence people to do things they’ll regret the morning after.

2. Anchor You need to have a central activity in place to help anchor the party and its attendees. Keep it to a single thing, as having multiple distractions might

5. Invitees: Invite the right people. That is to say, don’t invite anyone that may end up ruining the party—like the drama queen who cries after two beers.

photo courtesy Hisham Kelati

You want everyone co-mingling in a friendly and safe environment, with everyone feeling comfortable around everyone else. One of the beautiful things about Facebook is that you are able to invite specific people to your party, and make it unknown to anyone not invited. You can do a ‘+1 rule’ with a condition that the +1 must be approved by the host. Most importantly, the ratio of women to men must be as close to 1:1 as possible. More guys means a sausage fest with frightened female party-goers, and

more girls can mean that any guys lurking about are de facto creeps. Couples count as a single entity, so don’t factor them into the ratio—but be forewarned, the couples are more likely to make use of your bedroom for a little horizontal monster-mash, so lock all bedroom doors. Also, to ward off the inevitable gate-crashers that will come, no matter how secret the party, make sure to have a couple of the bigger guys work the door. Promise them free beer for the night, and you’ll have a highly ruthless,

highly effective security force. While your party is roaring, don’t forget to be a courteous host. Make sure to work the room, and try to say goodbye to as many people as you can before they leave. This will give people the impression that they are important, and will give you a great networking advantage, as well as an increase in numbers of invites to other parties. You’re welcome. If this works for you, send me a Facebook invite to your next bash as a thank you.

THE LIST ISSUE

HECKLES:

Most frequent Dear Di queries from readers since 2003

5. Worried that your boyfriend might be gay: Girlfriends panicked that their boyfriends might be gay when they found out that he owned a dildo, tasted his own come, had suggestive porn but still fucked cooch with enthusiasm, dressed metrosexually, listened to emo music and dressed like a scenester, and were turned on by cocks during POV porn. No, I told you he’s not gay!

A ballot with my name on it in a democratic process is fucking unacceptable

by Dave Atkinson Fulcrum Contributor I GOT TO the front of the line, thrilled as always to go behind the little cardboard booth thing and put an X in a box. It’s exciting to vote. This time, I was voting in the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa’s referendum on full membership in the Canadian Federation of Students. I was given an envelope to put my vote in, which was a bit odd, but okay with me. I do hate trees, so why not add a redundant step that’ll eat up one of the smug bark-covered bastards? I folded the bilingual novel that was the referendum ballot in half and sealed it in an envelope, which I also folded in half as instructed, and then was handed yet another envelope with my name and student number on it. “What the fuck is this?” I inquired jovially. “Put your vote into the second envelope and seal it,” the polling station clerk answered. After shitting a brick, I did as I was told, because no matter what, my vote wouldn’t be counted if I flipped the table and kicked someone in the neck, as was my want. “Secret ballot my ass!” I screamed as I walked out of the Unicentre, frightening a group of birds and two professors walk-

ing to the Pivik. My vote was in an envelope that was in another envelope with my name on it. I did not put my vote into a big box full of votes where it instantly became one among many, impossible to trace to me. Two strips of saliva-moistened adhesive were between my name and my vote. After calming down chemically and putting the empty bottles in the yard for a friendly homeless person to pick up, I looked into the issue. This voting system, similar to the absentee voting system used federally in Canada, had been set up to prevent people from voting at multiple polling stations. This way, only one vote per person is counted. The outer envelopes were checked at the end of each day to ensure that every person voted only once. Then the envelopes inside were thrown into a pile, becoming secret. They were opened and counted and scrutineers from the Yes and No sides got to watch the whole shebang. All this because the computer system used in the past let people vote twice. My answer to this is clear: “FIX THE SYSTEM, ASSHOLES!” It should not be difficult to have a working document with a list of students open at each polling station linked by… let’s say the god-damned Internet, so when one polling station checks off a name, it is checked off at all other polling

4. Disliked the taste of come: You wanted to know how to persuade your partner to swallow, desired bigger loads, complained about the taste of come, got come in your ‘do, had your “stanky” semen, and so many of you just wanted better tasting come. I told you to eat citrus fruits and be sweet to your partner.

stations. You can do this with Google Docs and an Excel spreadsheet for fuck’s sake. I know that my vote was probably not mistreated and that it was indeed secret and I have no problems saying that I voted No. This is beside the point. This system did not let me see the moment my vote became secret. I don’t know when my vote lost all ties with me anymore, or if it did. I don’t trust two strips of glue and a scrutineer I probably don’t know to ensure my vote stays secret. Like in all the other democratic elections I’ve taken part in, I wanted to put my naked ballot into a box of other naked ballots so that a ballot orgy of freedom and democracy can go on in there before counting. It’s about confidence. I gain confidence from seeing my ballot go into a box with no identifying markers on it at all. I know right away there will be no shenanigans based on my identity. I still worry about shenanigans like ballot-stuffing or false spoils and stuff like that, and I always will. But why add another thing to be worried about? Why take away my confidence while slaughtering a whole lot of those jackass trees? Get the computers fixed, or come up with something better. My name and my ballot hanging out for any length of time is bullshit.

3. Curious about ass: Students have been intrigued by anal sex, trying to find the ‘p-spot’ (the prostate), enjoying prostate orgasms, getting anal requests from your boyfriends, getting unexpected rim jobs, getting pegged, licking ass, having rough anal sex, taking precautions, wondering about the best positions for anal, and wondering if ass play was clean. I said wash thoroughly and use a condom. 2. Oral options: You kids wondered about the risks of blowing air into vaginas, had wet faces after going down on girls, had pubes stuck in your teeth, couldn’t find the clit, got annoyed with mounds of pubic hair, hated using condoms and piss-tasting poon, wondered how to tell her to go deeper, felt blow jobs took too long, complained that the boyfriend was bad at giving head, and wondered how to suck cocks better. You kids could just never get the hang of it…

It’s the final countdown! The last Fulcrum staff meeting of the semester is Thursday, Nov. 27 at 1 p.m. Bring your favourite synth-based 80s ballad. www.thefulcrum.ca

Sudoku answers from p. 22 If you’re reading this, you have the attention to detail we need in our proofreaders. Come to 631 King Edward Ave. on Tuesday evenings to keep the Fulcrum error-free.

Nov. 27, 2008

1. Creativity: Over five years, students worried about the legal repercussions of sex in exotic locations, liked to be ridiculed during sex, wanted to report your brother’s weird porn to your parents, asked how far a penis has to go in before it’s considered sex, asked how to bring up your vomiting fetish with your partner, asked “What’s up with snotty bitches?”, tried to hide your boner in church, freaked out about finding your parents’ fetish gear, wondered if you could swallow come if you’re lactose intolerant, how to keep your sex tapes off the net, about doing it ‘wheelbarrow style’, whether to engage in competitive fucking with another couple in the same room, and whether it’s okay to lick the pole on a stripper stage. You all have never ceased to amaze me. Thanks to everyone who has written in. Keep the questions coming! —Di Daniels

THE LIST ISSUE OPINION

21

Sarah Leavitt Features Editor [email protected]

Distractions

Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

Dear Di

Thryllabus Thursday, Nov. 27

If you have a question for Di, e-mail [email protected].

Dear DYJPOM, Are you sure it was in fact urine and not your natural lube? Sometimes women can get quite wet when sexually excited. If it was pee, the first thing you should do is see your doctor because you might have a urinary tract, kidney or bladder infection. Or maybe you have urinary incontinence (read: overactive bladder). Luckily, these problems are treatable. If you’re cleared of any medical problems but your pipes are still a bit leaky, you might need to exercise your poon. Most people don’t urinate during sex because the urinal sphincter keeps the bladder muscles tight to prevent leakage. You could just be experiencing a weakening of those muscles. To take care of those weepy muscles, make sure to do your Kegel exercises. Basically, you clench the muscles that control when you urinate, and then relax them. Forget using the women’s only time at the gym, because nobody can study your moves while you’re doing these exercises. Do them during your International Relations seminar, while you’re watching Twilight, or when you’re on CNN.com. You can do

Palestinian film: Peace, Propaganda and the Promised Land. 7 p.m. Fauteux Hall. Room 137. Free.

them standing, sitting, or walking. Another option is to find sex positions that won’t put as much pressure directly on your bladder; woman-on-top or doggy-style are best. But the simplest solution is to visit the bathroom before you get down to serious business. That way you’ll be comfortable and you can enjoy all the lapsnorkling and synchronized squirming you want. Love, Di Dear Di, I read your column all the time, and never thought I’d be writing in with an inquiry like this, but I need some advice. My boyfriend, let’s just call him “Cakes,” really likes threesomes, especially with other guys. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty liberal girl and I will admit I enjoy having two penises inside me at once, but the last time we had a threesome with another guy, Cakes proceeded to suck him off. I was shocked since I’ve never seen anything like this before. He got really into it, and cut me out almost entirely. I was just wondering if this was innocent experimentation, or does it mean something more? —Confused Cock Confrontations Dear CCC, Since the idea that Cakes enjoys threesomes “especially with other guys” didn’t give you the hint, I will give it to you straight: Your boy-

friend probably doesn’t only swing one way. If he didn’t like guys to some extent, there is no way he would be doling out blow jobs. The only way to know how far he swings is to ask him. It sounds like you and Cakes have a pretty open relationship, so just be honest with him about your concerns. My guess is that it will be up to you to set some limits, depending on your comfort level. After the initial shock, can you see yourself being turned on by Cakes pleasuring another guy? If so, maybe that is something you should explore further. If not, tell him that, and take it from there. But remember: no matter how many people are involved, no one should ever feel excluded during sex. Be sure to make it clear that you felt left out during your last threesome, and be honest about whatever insecurities you may have when you are setting limits. The more open you are, the less likely that future experimentation will lead to confusion or worry. Finally, keep in mind that there are plenty of other intriguing, kinky, and sexy things to do in bed. Threesomes, foursomes, or moresomes can get very complicated very quickly. You and Cakes may want to spend some time concentrating on just the two of you. Focusing on what you can do to please each other—watching porn or using a dildo for that twopenis feel are just a couple of suggestions—might remind you that two can be enough. Love, Di

Last Ditch Effort

sudoku answers on p. 21

Dear Di, I’ve been hesitant about taking guys home from bars for the last two weeks because earlier this month I ended up peeing all over my partner while having an orgasm. I don’t know what caused it, and I’m nervous that it could happen again. Is it my fault? Is this something I can stop? —Did You Just Piss On Me?!

22

Unicorn Theatre presents: Dido & Aeneas. 8 p.m. Tabaret Hall. Room 112. $5 for students.

Friday, Nov. 28 Engineers Without Borders presents: Buy Nothing Day workshop. 5:30 p.m. Fauteux Hall. Room 235. Free. The University of Ottawa Orchestra. 8 p.m. Saint Brigid’s Centre for the Arts and Humanities. 310 St. Patrick St. Voluntary contribution.

Saturday, Nov. 29 Women’s volleyball: Ottawa vs. RMC. 7 p.m. Montpetit Hall. $4 for students. La Comédie des Deux Rives presents: Turcaret (Le Financier). 8 p.m. Academic Hall. $8 for students.

Sunday, Nov. 30 Women’s hockey: Ottawa vs. Syracuse (exhibition game). 2 p.m. Sports Complex. Free.

Itch

Concert: Sounds of Christmas. 2 p.m. St. Bonaventure Church. 1359 Chatelain Ave. Free.

Monday, Dec. 1 World Aids Day Health Promotion presents the film: Grandmother’s Tribe. 4 p.m. Alumni Auditorium. Free. Coffee House: Live music and slam poetry. 8 p.m. Café Alternatif. Free.

Tuesday, Dec. 2 Lecture: “Guantanamo North” by Prof. Robert Diab. 6 p.m. Fauteux Hall. Room 147. Free. Play: Three Wishes. 7:30 p.m. Gladstone Theatre. 910 Gladstone Ave. $25.

Wednesday, Dec. 3 Last day of classes. Concert: Guitar ensemble. 8 p.m. Pérez Hall. Freiman Auditorium. Free. Email [email protected] with suggestions for events for the month of December.

by Daniel Kaell

by John Kroes

Editorial

f

Part of a complete breakfast since 1942. Volume 69 - Issue 15 Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008 phone: (613) 562-5261 fax: (613) 562-5259 631 King Edward Ave. Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5 [email protected] www.thefulcrum.ca

Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Nov. 27–Dec. 3, 2008

23

Top five most ridiculous aspects of the CFS referendum

Recycle this paper or kids will eat fruit in the morning.

Staff Frank ‘cap’n crunch’ Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Ben ‘cheerios’ Myers Production Manager [email protected] Michael ‘count chocula’ Olender Executive Editor [email protected] Martha ‘lucky charms’ Pearce Art Director [email protected] Emma ‘froot loops’ Godmere News Editor [email protected] Peter ‘cruncheroos’ Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected] David ‘cocoa puffs’ McClelland Sports Editor [email protected]

Sarah ‘cookie crisp’ Leavitt Features Editor [email protected] Danielle ‘crispix’ Blab Laurel ‘crunch berries’ Hogan Copy Editors Amanda ‘frosted flakes’ Shendruk Associate News Editor [email protected] James ‘trix’ Edwards Webmaster [email protected] Jessica ‘french toast crunch’ Sukstorf Volunteer & Visibility Coordinator [email protected] Megan ‘golden grahams’ O’Meara Staff Writer Alex ‘honey bunches of oats’ Martin Staff Illustrator Inari ‘kix’ Vaissi Nagy Jiselle ‘jurassic park crunch’ Bakker Ombudsgirls [email protected] Travis ‘optiva’ Boisvenue Ombudsboy [email protected] Nicole ‘diamond shreddies’ Gall Staff Proofreader Robert ‘rice krispies’ Olender On-campus Distributor Deidre ‘special k’ Butters Advertising Representative [email protected] Ross ‘bran flakes’ Prusakowski Business Manager [email protected]

illustration by Devin A. Beauregard

IT HAS BEEN almost a week since the results of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) referendum on full membership in the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) were released. Regardless of the result, the referendum contained enough eyebrow-raising moments to make students wonder exactly what they signed up for when the SFUO accepted prospective membership in the CFS on July 27. Here are the Fulcrum’s lowlights of the three-ring circus that rolled into town Nov. 7–20. 5. The never-ending ballot count Over 50 hours passed between polls closing on Nov. 20 and the results finally being announced on Nov. 23, during which time a record number of voters and dozens of campaign volunteers held their breath and waited for an announcement, or even a hint at when the announcement would come. Considering that the SFUO election results are made public in only a handful of hours, the delay in announcing the referendum results was entirely unexpected. It was important to all students that the votes be tabulated properly, but the painfully long process bordered on the unbelievable.

4. The Referendum Oversight Committee (ROC) From the moment the ROC was formed to run the referendum, there were concerns over the committee’s impartiality. Given that two members were pro-CFS and two proclaimed themselves to be neutral, the scales of the ROC were never fairly balanced. The ROC’s supposed impartiality was called into question on more than one occasion during the campaign, most notably for penalizing the No committee for a poll distributed by the Students’ Association of the Faculty of Arts that was deemed to disadvantage the Yes side. The ROC claimed that this was one of the most tightly regulated referendums in CFS history, but failed to cap campaign spending and permitted a one-sided referendum question to appear on the ballots. Such moves simply never looked kosher. 3. SFUO ‘neutrality’ The SFUO officially took a neutral stance in the referendum. The Board of Administration passed a motion decreeing that “any campaigning by the executive and employees of the SFUO be done outside of paid time, in good faith”. While this all looked great in theory, both stances turned out to be papier-mâché promises.

VP Finance Roxanne Dubois and VP Student Affairs Danika Brisson both worked on the Yes committee, while VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe and VP Communications Julie Séguin openly campaigned for the same. Though they may not have identified themselves by their SFUO titles while campaigning, all four are easily recognizable faces on campus, and it is difficult to separate the individuals from their roles as student leaders. The SFUO may have been neutral, but most of its executive certainly was not. The provision barring SFUO employees from campaigning during student-paid time was entirely toothless, as several executive and staff members were seen handing out Yes campaign literature and talking to students during paid time. ‘Good faith’ was apparently misplaced during the referendum. 2. Campaign insanity When allegations of campaign improprieties began flooding the ROC soon after the referendum kicked off—and didn’t stop until polls closed—we wrung our hands. When both sides openly campaigned mere steps away from the polling stations, blatantly flouting the referendum rules forbidding such practices, we cringed. When Protection started getting

called to intervene in disputes between opposing campaign volunteers, we knew that the campaign had descended into madness. At least the two sides were passionate. That’s about all that can be said positively about much of the campaigning during the 13-day referendum. 1. ‘Uniting’ the student movement The successful Yes campaign referred heavily to the importance of uniting the Canadian student movement through joining the CFS. However, this referendum did nothing to unite U of O students. The 51.8 per cent razor-thin majority revealed a very clear divide on campus regarding the CFS. This referendum was based upon ensuring the ability of students to speak to various levels of government with a single voice. However, it is clear that students at the U of O do not share a single voice. In accepting full membership, the SFUO may be united with other CFS member unions, but U of O undergrads themselves are far from unified. A referendum on uniting students seemingly had the opposite effect, and there is clearly a lot of work that needs to be done by U of O students to unite this campus—and not worry about our peers across Canada. [email protected]

Contributors Dave ‘apple jacks’ Atkinson Devin A. ‘toasties’ Beauregard Hilary ‘total’ Caton Laura ‘waffle crisp’ Clementson Joseph ‘chex’ Delfino Kenny ‘vector’ Dodd Kristyn ‘weetabix’ Filip

Daniel ‘smacks’ Kaell Danyal ‘life’ Khoral Hisham ‘grape nuts’ Kelati John ‘raisin bran’ Kroes Jaclyn ‘corn pops’ Lytle Carl ‘corn chex’ Meyer Anna ‘frosted flakes’ Rocoski

Émilie ‘banania’ Sartoretto Len ‘oreo o’s’ Smirnov Alex ‘fruit brute’ Smyth Nick ‘choco crunch’ Taylor-Vaisey Kristy ‘corn flakes’ Welbourn

Cover illustration by Alex Martin

Our Federation! Our Voice! Become an SFUO Executive or Board Member Get elected as an SFUO executive! Run in the next General Elections! The following positions are available: * President * VP University Affairs * VP Finance * VP Social Affairs * VP Student Affairs *VP Communications

Fédération étudiante de l’Université d’Ottawa

Student Federation of the University of Ottawa

These positions are full-time from May 2009 to April 2010. Make $30,000 and gain a unique and rich experience leading to great career opportunities in politics, management, public relations, communications and in many other fields. Levels of bilingualism are required for all executive positions. Run for the SFUO Board of Administration! Get elected as a board member of the SFUO Board of Administration! Gain a valuable experience of representing all student interests at the BOA this year and making valuable decisions that benefit students! Pick up your nomination form at the SFUO office (UCU-07) or at elections.sfuo.ca For more information, please contact the elections office at [email protected] FÉUO

SFUO

Fédération étudiante Student Federation

Nominations Open. Nominations close January 19.08

www.elections.sfuo.ca

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