Fulcrum 031909

Letters A response to the SFUO president Re: “Moving Forward” (Letters, March 12) DEAN HALDENBY, YOU alone are responsible for the Student Arbitration Committee (SAC) hearing debacle on March 6. A few thoughts as to blatant inaccuracies and overreaching liberties taken in your most recent unofficial address to the student population. You were elected through a by-election in which less than five per cent of the student body voted and you did not receive even close to 100 per cent of the vote. You are not the leader or president of the vast majority of the student population. Do you really believe describing yourself as “[our] president” is an accurate reflection of student faith in your performance this year and in your character, ethics, and ability to lead? Most of us didn’t vote for you. In fact, almost all of us didn’t vote for you. You “made it clear” that arbitration could not continue, but did you not make it clear that every effort was to be made for the arbitration to proceed? Or did you immediately make the conscious choice to leave the student arbitrators in the middle of a volatile, hostile situation with their personal safety in jeopardy? Further, did you ever offer the arbitrators any level of support as the one person who was ultimately responsible for permitting that display of overt intimidation to occur? You write of your disappointment that a safe space was not ensured, and yet you don’t

seem to accept the responsibility for not having made this happen. You do indeed hold the position of president of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO), so are you not ultimately responsible for all actions resulting from the invocation of the SFUO constitution? You call these events something we experienced “unfortunately”. This term is inappropriate for the circumstances. Perhaps we may alternately use the terms disgusting, unthinkable, horrific, and terrifying. You are responsible and accountable. Finally, you conclude with a quote describing students as each others’ enemies. Regardless of the circumstances, such a label is abhorrent, especially from the president of a student federation. Perhaps consider the following instead: “Integrity is not a 90 per cent thing, or a 95 per cent thing; either you have it or you don’t” (Peter Scotese). Shame on you. Allison Enright Third-year earth sciences student R-E-S-P-E-C-T RESPECT. WEBSTER’S DICTIONARY describes respect as esteem, regard, consideration, or honour. With respect, people with differing opinions can share a calm and reasoned discussion. With respect people can feel free to voice their opinions without fear of discrimination or humiliation. Respect creates a positive and embracing environment, which in turn fosters growth and knowledge within the community.

Contents

Employment, impeachment

News

Plans to find new arbitrators and threat of executives’ impeachment further SFUO election appeal saga. p. 4

p. 4

Common Law student newspaper blasted for “demeaning” content. p. 7

The blame game

Arts

Nick Rudiak explores the absurdity of Don’t Blame the Bedouins. p. 9

p. 9

Peter Henderson interviews funnyman Jon Lovitz. p. 14

Finishing fifth

Sports

Men’s basketball team settles for consolation success at national championship . p. 16

p. 16 Feature

p. 12

U of O synchronized swimmers maneuver the water in style. p. 19

Chew on this! Megan O’Meara investigates the facts on gum. p. 12–13 Di isn’t too happy about receiving fake questions! p. 22

Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] March 19–25, 2009 Unfortunately, I am increasingly finding that respect is not something that is practised on campus. Students disrespecting the U of O administration are supported by the SFUO, voices in opposition to movements are shut down with partisan and ignorant comments, students protesting the election results are humiliated, and student movements themselves are taking the easy and childish route of being disruptive. We demand respect, but why should others respect us, when we ourselves do not practise it? Respect does not entail that you must agree with everyone else, it does not mean you can’t protest anything, and it does not mean that you must keep your opinions to yourself! Respect simply means that these things are done in a considerate, calm, and reasoned manner, while in turn, they are acknowledged and listened to in this same way. Respect needs to be practised and supported on this campus. Without it, meetings will continue to descend into chaos, defences will continue to be put up, and opinions will be kept silent. Let us embrace a respectful campus: practising what we preach, and being considerate of each other as we discuss, learn, and grow during our time here. Christina Taekema Fourth-year political science student A poor display IT’S WITH OUTRAGE and a great deal of disappointment and an even greater surprise that we are writing this letter. But we absolutely feel that it is both our right and the right thing to do to share with the entire student body what one of the newly elected candidates of the SFUO election has said about the black communities here at U of O. This incident took place right after the SAC hearing which took place March 6. Board of Administration director-elect Aminka Belvitt was heard by many espousing her personal view about SFUO VP Social-elect Jean Guillaume’s supporters, other members of the Haitian Students’ Association, and the black community. These very same individuals were there because they too had voted and wanted their voice to be heard. The words Belvitt used were not only extremely crude but specifically directed at the black communities and on top of that the Haitian community members that were present. These hurtful words she Business Department The Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa’s independent English-language student newpaper, is published by the Fulcrum Publishing Society (FPS) Inc., a not-for-profit corporation whose members consist of all University of Ottawa students. The Board of Directors (BOD) of the FPS governs all administrative and business actions of the Fulcrum and consists of the following individuals: Ross Prusakowski (President), Andrea Khanjin (Vice-President), Tyler Meredith (Chair), Peter Raaymakers, Nick Taylor-Vaisey, Toby Climie, Scott Bedard, Andrew Wing, and William Stephenson. To contact the Fulcrum’s BOD, contact Ross Prusakowski at (613) 562-5261.

mentioned have left numerous in piercing pain. With the Haitian community being an unwavering part of the U of O’s student body and the black community; the Congolese Student Association, the West-African Student Association, and the Kilimanjaro Black Student Association are joining forces to combat such despicable and disrespectful behavior. It comes across as quite a surprise to many, for a couple days earlier that week Belvitt was heard by numerous people firmly speaking on many “racist issues on campus”, especially those targeted towards visible minorities like her. We are completely horrified by this incident and the lack of pressure to condemn it by the people in the room. In an educational institute filled with studious young men and women of all walks of life, events of this genre need to be condemned and cannot at any point be tolerated or go scot-free. What we demand as a community of black people and in support to our brothers and sisters of the Haitian community, is that Belvitt makes an official apology to the black community as a whole. Her actions show that she does not seem to be applying the same justice and values she declared to be fighting for in her election campaign. By standing as an actor in that trial, and then turning around and insulting the entire Afro-community made it seem like she blamed them for the March 6 election hearing complaints. Contrary to what she shouted, yes, the members of the Afro-community voted rationally, and did not just vote, as she claims, for candidates “just because of their ethnicity”. Her discourse is an apparent indication of her incompetency in being sensitive enough to represent an entire student body that entrusted her to sit in and represent them in the post she was voted in. This sort of behaviour is utterly unacceptable and horrendous for anyone, especially someone the student body elected as their representative. The members of the Afro-community who felt affected by this demand that decisions be taken so that Belvitt fully fathoms the effect and consequences to her actions to assure that justice is served to those gravely offended. Haitian Students Association, Congolese Student Association, Nigerian Student Association, Kilimanjaro Black Student Association, West African Youth Association Advertising Department Deidre Butters, Advertising Representative phone: (613) 880-6494 fax: (613) 562-5259 email: [email protected] Check out our rate card online. Go to www.thefulcrum.ca and follow the link for “Advertisers”. Multi-market advertisers: Campus Plus: (800)265-5372 Campus Plus offers one-stop shopping for over 90 Canadian student newspapers. The Fulcrum is a proud member of Canadian University Press: www.cup.ca

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Belvitt’s response I WOULD FIRST like to begin by addressing those groups that addressed me directly in their open letter. If my words offended anyone, I apologize. It would be dishonest of me to disavow what I said, so I will not. I will simply attempt to explain my words. Almost three weeks ago, I was asked to be a witness for a group of students who appealed the SFUO elections. When I accepted, I had never imagined that such a decision would be so controversial and that I would have to endure personal attacks and slurs diminishing who I am and what I stand for. As a black woman on this campus I know more than anyone the struggles which minorities face every single day. I see how black students, among other minorities, are used to promote certain campaigns and activities. I see how groups such as the Muslim Student Association and the Kilimanjaro Black Student Association are approached by student politicians during election campaigns for endorsements and then ignored for the other 11 months of the year. I was asked to participate in videos and posters for certain candidates, for no other reason than for the color of my skin and to showcase just how ‘multicultural’ and ‘open’ these candidates are. Over the past month, I have been attacked by fellow black students who have told me I am not black enough. And why? Because one of the defendants facing accusations of electoral fraud happens to be black. Coordinated attacks, such as the open letter sent out to the media, were done in the attempt to discredit me, marginalize me, and rally support for the accused. LETTERS continued on p. 20

thefulcrum.ca poll This week’s question Do you believe that SFUO executives voting on their SAC appeal is a conflict of interest? Yes: No: Got something to say? Send your letters to

[email protected] Letters deadline: Sunday, 1 p.m. Letters must be under 400 words unless discussed with the editor-in-chief. Drop off letters at 631 King Edward Ave. or email [email protected]. Letters must include your name, telephone number, year, and program of study. Pseudonyms may be used after consultation with the editor-in-chief. We correct spelling and grammar to some extent. The Fulcrum will exercise discretion in printing letters that are deemed racist, homophobic, or sexist. We will not even consider hate literature or libellous material. The editor-in-chief reserves the authority on everything printed herein.

Emma Godmere News Editor [email protected]

News

March 19–25, 2009

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BOA approves SAC hearing re-launch Conflict of interest allegations, impeachment threats surface at emergency meeting by Emma Godmere Fulcrum Staff AN EMERGENCY MEETING of the of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa’s (SFUO) Board of Administration (BOA) on March 13 resulted in a change in direction for the current SFUO election appeal facing the Student Arbitration Committee (SAC) and the launch of a movement to impeach all current— and consider impeaching next year’s—SFUO executive members. The emergency meeting was called in reaction to the March 6 SAC hearing that descended into chaos after the defendants—current VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe, VP Finance Roxanne Dubois, VP Communications Julie Séguin, and VP Social-elect Jean Guillaume—expressed their dissent with the SAC’s arbitration process and left the hearing. An appeal of the SAC’s decision to move forward with the hearing was originally on the meeting’s agenda; however, once Wolfe retracted his appeal, debate moved to a motion to re-launch a reformatted SAC appeal. The motion, put forth by SFUO President Dean Haldenby, was passed and will bring the appeal dealing with the alleged formation of a slate by the defendants in February’s SFUO elections back to the SAC, while effectively relieving the current student arbitrators working on the case. The “new” hearing will also be closed to the general public, save for those implicated in the appeal and campus media, but allows for the creation of a live-listening space for people to watch the proceedings in real time. “The motion, as passed, obviously clears up some of the issues related to the initial commencement of the arbitration that I felt were of issue and that the board needed to decide upon,” Haldenby said. “The motivation behind it obviously was to ensure that all of our constitutional provisions in our section were being followed properly to ensure that everything was fair and by the book.” Motion passes, despite abstentions More than one-third of BOA directors abstained from voting on the motion—which, according to the SFUO’s constitution, forces the motion to be brought back to debate. On a second vote, over one-third of directors abstained once again—and according to the constitution, if this occurs twice in a row, the motion should be “deferred for consideration to the next regular meeting of the Board of Administration”. However, BOA chair Federico Carvajal ruled that the motion passed—regardless of the abstentions— citing the time-sensitive nature of the motion and support from the SFUO’s legal counsel.

photo by Martha Pearce

SFUO President Dean Haldenby presents his motion at the March 13 BOA meeting while VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe looks on. “Obviously, board members have the right to abstain on a vote, so we sought legal opinion on that issue,” he said. “The opinion of the lawyer was that, given the time sensitivity and the judiciary responsibility of the board, the vote could go forward if that was the case.” According to Haldenby, the mass abstentions were an interference tactic. “I had heard rumblings that certain members were going to try and filibuster the business of the board and the business of the [SFUO], and therefore I spoke with Federico and told him that and he asked me to garner a legal opinion on exactly whether or not such a move could be ... used,” he said. “So I did ... and Federico, within his right, used that opinion to rule as chair on that motion, to favour the motion. I find it unfortunate that certain members are trying to uphold the process of the board and I hope that they do realize the error of their ways.” Conflict of interest BOA Faculty of Social Sciences director Amy Kishek abstained from both votes and explained that her implication in the election appeal forced her to do so. “When you have ... over a third of members

“I think there was a significant degree of conflict of interest present around the table.”

Amy Kishek BOA Faculty of Social Sciences director

at the board saying that they don’t even think that this motion should be at the table, certainly not in its present carnation, it indicates that that motion should not be passing, regardless of the number of votes in favour or against,” she said. “I think there was a significant degree of conflict of interest present around the table, and it’s certainly the reason why I, myself, chose not to vote at all ... I question the legitimacy of [the board’s] decision, in particular because of the defendants voting on it. There [were] three votes from people who were directly involved in the case and that was completely unjustified.” Wolfe, Dubois, and Séguin—who all have seats on the BOA—are defendants in the election appeal. All voted in favour of Haldenby’s motion. Séguin indicated her belief that no conflict of interest existed for those involved in the appeal. “I can say for sure that I didn’t feel like the motion on the table was at the advantage of [either] the [appellants] or the defendants,” she said. “Almost 20 people around the table had a direct link to that motion, but not necessarily a gain. I don’t think I had something to gain; I think that, as a director, it was a time for me to basically do my role as a director and choose something that’s going to be fair, and I thought that was the fair thing to do.” Séguin emphasized that the original SAC arbitration process was unfair and therefore needed to change. “I did read the report about the response of the Student Arbitration Committee,” she continued, referring to the SAC’s official decision to move forward with the original hearing. “I don’t agree with any of it at all and I don’t even think that they

should have made that as an official decision.” The option of impeachment Renaud-Philippe Garner, one of the three appellants in the SFUO elections appeal, was present at the March 13 meeting and strongly believed that there existed a conflict of interest. “The defendants voted on their own trial; they just micromanaged their own judicial process,” he said shortly after the meeting. “They have just shown the defendants can have the arbitrators changed for their own case if it doesn’t suit them ... This is nothing short of corruption, and we’re going to start impeachment procedures for every single last member of the executive who voted on their own procedure.” Third-year earth sciences student Allison Enright, who was also in attendance, launched an online petition seeking to bring the question of impeaching all of the current SFUO executives to students via a referendum. “I feel that each individual member of the executive compromised their ethics in the vote on Friday night at the emergency BOA meeting and I don’t feel that they have the confidence of the student body anymore,” she explained. “I think the petition demands that the question be asked whether or not we have the confidence in them, so it should be going to a vote by the students directly at this point.” Enright hopes to collect the 1,500 required signatures within the next several weeks in order to launch a referendum before the end of the academic year. The petition can be found at petitiononline.com/UO0309/petition.html.

U of O agrees to negotiation process with Rancourt Administration gives deadline of March 31 to complete negotiations by Amanda Shendruk Fulcrum Staff AT 9 A.M. on March 17, there were more reporters than students in the lobby of Tabaret Hall. Extensive national and international media coverage surrounding Denis Rancour—the tenured University of Ottawa physics professor suspended in December for awarding only A+ grades in a winter 2008 fourth-year physics course—and his dismissal case lured the CTV, CBC, and several student journalists from both the U of O and Carleton University to campus to await the outcome of the meeting. On the lower level of Tabaret Hall, Rancourt was participating in the final of four meetings attempting to reach a settlement with the university. Also present at the meeting was a representative from the Association of Professors of the University of Ottawa, Dean of Science André Lalonde, and a liaison officer for the university. The outcome: the administration indicated a willingness to negotiate with Rancourt, but only under strict conditions and only if the negotiation process is completed before the next meeting of the Executive Committee of the Board of Governors (BOG) at the end of the month. During the meeting Rancourt put forward his proposal for reconciliation—previously made public—entitled “Will grade for food: but will not end dissent” in which he proposes to “do [his] grading in the most open way possible, in the most open way ever done by any tenured professor”. The proposal was in response to the U of O’s official Feb. 6 press release citing “assigning a grade of A+ to all students” as grounds for Rancourt’s suspension. While the meeting was in progress, Tabaret Hall steadily filled with Rancourt’s student supporters, community members, and the curious. Deregistered physics student Marc Kelly, a former student of Rancourt’s, approached a microphone that faced the crowd with a large yellow box over his head, which featured U of O President Allan Rock’s photocopied face on all sides. He proceeded to ‘speak’ as the president of the university to a crowd of about 60 by playing a recording of a low, distorted voice. The voice was often incoherent, but comments including “the integrity of the university cannot be trusted” could be heard from the garbled recording. Following Kelly’s appearance, Rancourt’s supporters spoke at length about their dedication to the man and his ideas, and the unjust nature of his suspension. “Denis Rancourt is a radical in a world where it seems like there are so few radicals left,” said

Mireille Gervais, coordinator of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa’s Student Appeal Centre. Of the many supporters present were twin boys Sebastian and Douglas Foster, who made headlines in September 2006 when the then10-year-olds were enrolled in Science and Society, a course on science and social activism taught by Rancourt, with their mother, U of O student Wendy Foster. “It’s an embarrassment to the university,” said Sebastian, currently in Grade 7, when asked about his thoughts on the situation facing Rancourt. His mother was similarly adamant. “I know that [the university is] definitely being unfair to [Rancourt],” she said. When Rancourt emerged from the meeting about an hour after supporters began their rally, he announced to the crowd that the administration indicated that they were prepared for a negotiation process. “[The university] basically said, ‘we will mediate, but under these very strict conditions’,” he said. Without outlining all conditions, he spoke at length about the university’s request to view the final exams of PHY4385-5100, the course in which the suspect A+s were given— exams that included written comments from students on their impressions of the course. “[It] puts me in a very difficult situation because if I were to follow that condition I would need to break the professional promise that I made to students during the course,” Rancourt said, “which was that I would not allow the administration to see their exam copies ... including in that their personal comments. “I believe that the conditions that are being imposed ... are basically saying we’re not interested in mediating ... we’ll see you on [March 31], and you’re out,” he said. Graduate student Sean Kelly, one of three plaintiffs who filed a lawsuit against the U of O for damages incurred due to the suspension of Rancourt and the closure of his laboratory, was surprised by the administration’s decision. “I thought that they were just going to stone wall [him],” he said. Kelly believes that the university isn’t interested in mediation. “From what I’ve learned, it looks like the university is doing what they do in other situations with other unions, putting [forward] ridiculous conditions to cause mediations to fail,” he said. Rock was brief in his reaction to the day’s proceedings. “Today there was a procedure in connection with his collective agreement process,” he said. “The ball’s in his court; we responded to the offer he made, and put an offer to him, and now we’re just awaiting his response and that process is just following its usual course.” The Executive Committee of the BOG will meet and is expected to discuss Rancourt’s negotiation process on March 31.

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photo by Alex Martin

Suspended physics professor Denis Rancourt speaks to supporters and media on March 17.

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www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.19.09 //

NEWS // 5

Province grants grad money by Amanda Shendruk Fulcrum Staff THE ONTARIO PROVINCIAL government has allocated $51 million in operating funding for 3,300 graduate student positions across the province, with at least 277 funded spots at the U of O, the university announced on March 2. This spending is part of the Reaching Higher plan, a multi-year investment in post-secondary education launched in 2005 by Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty. By the 2009–10 academic year, provincial investments in colleges, universities, and training will reach $6.2 billion. For the 277 spaces at the U of O, operating funds will depend on both the number of Master’s and doctoral students, and their programs of study. Operating funds cover salaries, supplies, and other expenses incurred in the expansion process. “This additional operating funding should amount to approximately $5 [million] annually when the enrolment targets are met, which should take two or three years,” U of O VP Resources Victor Simon explained in an email. The U of O is focused on graduate expansion. In 2002, 1,841 full-time Master’s students and 541 full-time doctoral students walked the halls of the university. By 2011, these numbers are expected to climb to about 2,856 full-time Master’s students and 1,073 full-time doctoral students.

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As part of the Reaching Higher package, the U of O will also receive a small capital allotment for each funded student position. Capital funding is used for such things as renovation and construction projects. The U of O’s annual capital spending is significantly greater than the Ontario government’s allocation. “During the 2008–09 academic year, the U of O’s capital spending was well in excess of $30 [million] while the provincial capital allocation was $3.3 [million] in total to cover both ‘deferred maintenance’ and graduate study spaces,” wrote Simon. “So any minor capital funding adjustments to the provincial allocation [from the recently announced funding] will assist in closing that gap, as we enter difficult and challenging financial and economic times.” Serge Dupuis, university affairs commissioner for the Graduate Students’ Association, isn’t convinced that the funded graduate expansion is a good thing. “We’re creating these new spaces but we’re not necessarily creating the infrastructure to support it,” he said. “We’re going to create more student places before we’ve actually caught up to the amount of students that we have now, so I see that as kind of problematic.” Sufficient study and work space has been an ongoing problem for graduate students at the U of O. Despite the recent conversion of the sixth floor of Moris-

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set into graduate-specific space, Dupuis stressed that the university is far from having adequate space for the current number of enrolled graduate students. “I think we probably should have waited for this expansion. I don’t think we’re ready for it,” he said. “I think if we had invested those kinds of sums in improving the student experience we would have gotten more ahead. I’m not sure that this is all an expansion that’s in good faith.”

Doing is the new

learning [email protected]

Law student newspaper blasted for ‘offensive’ content Faculty, students outraged at Inter Pares column by Emma Godmere and Laura Clementson Fulcrum Staff INDEPENDENT COMMON LAW student newspaper Inter Pares has been blasted by many in the University of Ottawa community for printing “offensive” content in its March 3 issue. Inter Pares, which produces seven issues a year, published a satirical column entitled “The Guys’ Corner: Figuring Women Out, One Pathetic Blunder at a Time” which aimed to advise male law students on how to attract women. In one instance, the author—writing under a pseudonym according to a March 16 Ottawa Citizen article—refers to “disclosing one’s status as a law student, for the purpose of serving as a catalyst (in lieu of tequila) for getting shizzy with the nizzy.” Faculty members and students have taken issue with the statement, believing it incites rape. In an email sent to staff and students in the Faculty of Law on March 12, Dean of Common

Law Bruce Feldthusen expressed his disappointment with the article. “As many of you know, the [March 3] issue of Inter Pares contains what can only be described euphemistically as an offensive article, [and] demeaning to women,” he wrote. “I am writing to you simply to say that the administration, faculty, and staff of Common Law is committed to creating and maintaining an atmosphere that is free from all forms of unlawful and unacceptable discrimination.” Feldthusen indicated that the faculty would be looking into reconciliatory and preventative measures for the newspaper. “We will take whatever steps we can to educate the editors about their journalistic responsibilities, and to insure that policies are put into place to prevent a recurrence,” he continued. “If we are unable to achieve a level of confidence that this will not happen again (as it has happened on other occasions in the past) we will review the limited connection that presently exists between Inter Pares and the faculty ... I am very encouraged by the widespread, strong, and articulate criticism from fellow students that this publication has attracted. I believe that student intervention on this matter will prove more effective than anything the administration can do. That said, we intend to do our part.”

The Fulcrum is hiring for the 2009–10 publishing year If you are interested in the following positions: Associate News Editor Volunteer and Visibility Coordinator Copy Editor (Two positions available) Webmaster Contact [email protected] for more information or to apply. Applications are due April 10 at 5 p.m. Email a cover letter, resumé, and clippings (if applicable) to [email protected] or drop them off at 631 King Edward Ave.

Noah Arshinoff, a law student and associate editor at Inter Pares, expressed that some of the criticism and response the editors have received from both faculty and students has been threatening in nature. “It got blown up to the point where there were threats and personal attacks, which is not really the standard I’d hold a university faculty to,” he said. “One prof in particular is attempting to force us to run his response to it, which is personally attacking [and claiming] myself and others of being pro-rape and obviously [not] victims of sexual assault, and it’s kind of astonishing to me that he thinks its appropriate to force the publishing of an overtly defamatory article. “Overall, I have no problem admitting an error in judgment in publishing an article,” he continued. “My problem has nothing to do with the way that people have reacted to it; it’s the way that the faculty has actually handled the situation ... we’re going to publish an apology ... and publish people’s responses to it, and that’s that.” The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa’s Women’s Resource Centre (WRC) drew parallels between the Inter Pares article and the March 2008 controversy surrounding content deemed offensive and misogynistic printed in the Engineering Students Society’s student-run

Oral Otis. “This type of discourse is reductive and tired. We are growing weary of having to continually address these sorts of problems on campus (within student publications) every year,” the WRC said in a collective statement emailed to the Fulcrum. “On the heels of the Oral Otis fiasco, which happened around this time last year, this article demonstrates that sexist and patriarchal attitudes continue to exist within our society, and more specifically, within our university community. Inter Pares or any newspaper should not have the right to insinuate that practicing sexually coercive behavior is acceptable or appropriate, even when it is written in a supposedly ‘humorous’ fashion.” Feldthusen reiterated that the faculty is looking to take action on the issue. “A small ad hoc committee of professors and staff are meeting with the editorial board to determine what steps must be taken to [ensure] that this is not repeated,” he wrote to the Fulcrum in an email. “The meetings are continuing and no decisions have been taken yet. Interfering with the distribution of a student newspaper would be the last resort. We prefer to see if education and goodwill will prevail.” The next issue of Inter Pares is expected to hit stands by the end of the month.

News in brief U-Pass defeated for second time at City Council OTTAWA CITY COUNCILLORS voted against reconsidering the University of Ottawa’s U-Pass pilot project when it was presented at a March 11 City Council meeting. The project failed during a vote in December 2008, but was brought back to the council’s attention after it was unanimously supported by the city’s transit committee on March 4. The U-Pass, which was approved by 73 per cent of voting U of O undergraduates in a 2007 referendum, would have seen more than 24,000 full-time students pay $125 per semester for an OC Transpo bus pass. Since the project’s debut at City Hall, councillors have argued that students should pay $196 per semester to balance the costs of the pilot project. The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) rejected raising the fee, but remains committed to pursuing the project. “We will return to the negotiating table with the City and OC Transpo to find a workable program,” said Ted Horton, SFUO vp university affairs-elect and long-time project volunteer. “We have support from all parties. We simply need the terms that are acceptable to everyone.” The university will survey students in November 2009 to determine their transportation

needs and the long-term impact of the recent 51-day strike on student ridership. “If anything, the strike has increased the need for a U-Pass as a means to encourage students to use a valuable service in an affordable manner,” said Horton. —Len Smirnov Calgary college launches tuition-free nursing program EDMONTON (CUP) – BOW VALLEY COLLEGE, an institution which specializes in English as a second language, is introducing a free pilot program designed to help immigrants with a nursing degree upgrade their skills and find employment in Canada. With funding for the first two terms of the project coming from Alberta Employment and Immigration, students who apply will be not be burdened by the cost of tuition as they work towards developing their knowledge of the country’s health-care system. After completing the pilot period, the goal is to have the 20-month program sustain itself through enrolment fees. There are currently 30 students enrolled for May, and there are plans to have another enrolment period in January 2010. —Kirsten Goruk, Alberta and Northern Bureau Chief

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www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.19.09 //

NEWS // 7

Arts & Culture

Peter Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected]

March 19–25, 2009

Desert drama, sexy Stalin

and all these other crazy characters, we wanted to make the stage look like a graphic novel, following the linear lines of a page, and paying careful attention to the colours of the stage [and] the costumes.” The U of O performance won’t be the only time you can catch Don’t Blame the Bedouins. The troupe will perform the show in Ottawa again June 5–6 at the Magnetic North Theatre Festival. “Magnetic North will be a really great opportunity for the performers,” says stage manager Brittany Jukes. “It’s a national festival and we’re hopeful that the playwright will attend, but right now we’re focusing on getting through this run.” Although the play is bizarre, assistant director Jamie Bell thinks that Don’t Blame the Bedouins is a terrific opportunity for the U of O’s theatre department to let loose and test their boundaries. “A lot of [the theatre] we produce at the U of O is kind of inside the box and realistic,” she says. “But this [play] is a whole different ballgame.”

photo by Martha Pearce

DON’T BLAME THE Bedouins is, at the very least, hard to explain. Two trains barrel toward each other on the same piece of track in the Australian desert, one driven by Santa Claus and the other by a sultry female Stalin. Tied to the track halfway between these two trains is an Italian soprano, whose only salvation may be the German muscle man watching from the mountains above. And there’s a myopic student wandering the desert nearby. This brief summary doesn’t even begin to describe the depths of absurdity in Canadian playwright René-Daniel Dubois’ play. Don’t Blame the Bedouins, playing at the University of Ottawa’s Academic Hall until March 21, is a English translation of Dubois’ French play Ne blâmez jamais les Bédouins, though it also includes lines in French, Mandarin, German, Arabic, Russian, and Italian. The play is a complex critique of power struggles and war, and it won the Governor-General’s Award

for French theatre in 1984. “This was written in the mid ‘80s, during the Cold War,” explains director Kevin Orr, a professor of theatre at the U of O. “The two trains facing off against each other are being conducted by Santa Claus and Stalin, who represent the conflict between the West and the [Communist] East. Inside of that is the subplot, where the three characters exist in a single moment and have to grow into one big monster to stop the monster of progress that the trains represent.” In addition to being deeply representative of the balance of power and progress, Orr jokes that there are “about 270” other different themes and complexities within the work. Many of these intricacies are brought to the fore in Orr’s highly conceptual take on a very strange play. The set for Don’t Blame the Bedouins is composed of several ladders, which are used by the actors to create mountains, railroad tracks, and a myriad of other settings. Images are projected on the backdrop, which interacts with the characters as the story evolves. “The basic idea for the set came from my set designer, Margaret Coderre-Williams [who is also chair of the Theatre Dept. at U of O],” explains Orr. “Since it has Santa Claus

shows like Newsradio and the animated comedy The Critic, as well as a famous turn as the voice of the lecherous Artie Ziff on The Simpsons. His versatility has allowed him to work as a dramatic actor, a funnyman, and a voice-over artist, but he’s most famous for his unique nasal voice. “I never thought my voice was distinctive at all,” says Lovitz. “I grew up in Los Angeles, and I’d hear these actors with deep, rich voices, and I’d think ‘What a great voice’. People would say ‘You’ve got a distinctive voice’ and I’d think ‘I do?’ I never noticed it, never! I wasn’t trying to have a distinctive voice, I was just speaking.” As a kid, Lovitz idolized Woody Allen, and remembers the exact moment he decided to become a comic. “I saw [Allen’s] movie Take the Money and Run when I was 13, and I said, ‘I want to be a comedian like him.’” Lovitz attended the University of California at Irvine and graduated with a degree in drama. After a stint with the Groundlings—the famous Los Angeles-based improvisational comedy troupe that counts Will Ferrell, Conan O’Brien, and Phil Hartman among its alumni—Lovitz became a cast member of the longrunning NBC sketch show SNL. “I never, ever thought I’d be on

SNL,” says Lovitz. “I couldn’t believe it when I got it. It was amazing. It was very thrilling—I had an office in Rockefeller Center!” He spent five seasons doing sketch comedy on SNL, but Lovitz still shied away from stand-up. During his time on the show he worked with many other comedians who had gotten their start doing stand-up, including Chris Rock, Dana Carvey, and Kevin Nealon. Though surrounded by stand-up comedians, Lovitz still couldn’t find the nerve to commit to the stage. “[Nerves] were the reason I took so long to do it,” he says. “You’re onstage by yourself, there’s just nothing but you. It takes a lot of guts just to get up [there]. Anybody, I don’t care if they’re good or not, if they can get up and do that, they’re courageous. It took me 20 years!” He finally found the nerve to start doing stand-up in 2004, and not just because of the economic imperative. Lovitz wanted to challenge himself, and he set out to do a routine at some local clubs in his hometown of Los Angeles. He remembers the one piece of advice that helped him get over his crushing stage fright. “Dana Carvey, who does great stand-up and [is] one of my best friends, said ‘Just keep getting up, and eventually it goes away,’” Lovitz re-

calls. “It’s four little steps to get to the stage, and they’re the hardest steps to walk up.” Though it took him decades to start doing stand-up comedy, his recent career shift reminded Lovitz of the thrill of writing and performing his own material, something he cultivated during his years on SNL. “With Saturday Night Live I got to

write and perform my own material, and now I get to do that again,” says Lovitz. “It just keeps getting more fun, because I just keep getting more confident and relaxed.”

Don’t Blame the Bedouins premieres at the U of O by Nick Rudiak Fulcrum Staff

A comedian’s revival Jon Lovitz finally gets around to stand-up by Peter Henderson Fulcrum Staff JON LOVITZ IS nervous. His years of experience in television, movies, and sketch comedy didn’t prepare him for his biggest challenge yet: standing alone in front of an audience and trying to make them laugh. Although he started doing sketch comedy in his college years, the 51-year-old Lovitz didn’t make the jump to doing standup until 2004. “I never tried stand-up, I was just too nervous,” he explains. “Finally, about five years ago, the movie roles were slowing [down] and I didn’t want to sell my house so I thought I’d better find another way to make money.” Lovitz is currently touring across North America with an act that comments on sex, politics, and religion. Though he’s new to stand-up, Lovitz has had a long career in show business. He got his start on Saturday Night Live (SNL) in 1985, and continued on to roles in The Wedding Singer, High School High, and Rat Race. He’s also had starring roles on television

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Don’t Blame the Bedouins runs until March 21 at Academic Hall (133 Seraphin-Marion). Tickets are $8 for students. For tickets call the Theatre Department at (613) 562-5761.

photo courtesy Jon Lovitz

Jon Lovitz performs at the Centrepointe Theatre March 20 at 7:30 p.m. For more information and tickets, visit centrepointetheatre.com.

Album reviews

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TMDP TMDP

D-

Chris Cornell Scream

Ultimate Power Duo New Normal

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B+

IF BLADE RUNNER had a club scene, the two dudes in TMDP would be the DJs. The Toronto-based duo’s self-titled debut blends funk, synth-pop, and electronica to create a sound somewhere between Daft Punk and New Order. The album’s synthesizer melodies are blended seamlessly with funk guitar and electro-bass lines—there is no singing on the album—giving it a distinct 80s movie soundtrack feel. The electronic intro and pounding beat of “Glades” and the distorted, 8-bit sounding “Balcone” are made for getting your groove on, but on songs like “Heat” and “Too Much”, the duo switches gears with a relaxed, down-tempo feel. Though lacking radio-ready hits, TMDP is an incredible debut album from start to finish, one that breathes more awesomeness into Canadian electronic music. —Julian Blizzard

REMEMBER SOUNDGARDEN? THE heaviest of the big early-90s grunge bands combined Black Sabbath-influenced metal with a more polished alt-rock sound. Fronting the group was vocalist Chris Cornell; part Robert Plant, part escaped lunatic, in his prime he was one of the most distinctive and versatile voices in rock. So, what the hell is Scream? The whole idea of a rocker like Cornell working with too-prolific producer Timbaland and Justin Timberlake feels like some kind of surrealistic nightmare. The whole thing feels more like a comedy album than an artistic statement. On songs like the atrocious and overblown “Part of Me” and the equally awful (and misleadingly named) title track, Cornell mumbles into an Auto-tune vocoder stolen from Kanye West. Timbaland drops his once revolutionary but now conventional spaced-out dance beats under all of the songs, and Cornell’s off-beat ‘N Sync-inspired ramblings fit so poorly against the music that the whole album sounds like a toddler’s experiment with a My First DJ playset. Like Joaquin Pheonix’s insane career moves as of late, it’s hard to tell if Scream is a joke or not. If it isn’t, perhaps Phoenix and Cornell can collaborate on what surely would be the most awkward pop album ever. —Nick Rudiak

THE THREE SASKATCHEWANIANS behind the inaccurately named Ultimate Power Duo return with their self-proclaimed style of “demolition rock” on their second LP, New Normal. With influences including Pixies, the Who, and the Ramones, the band is aiming an all-out assault at your eardrums. From the spectacular melodies on the opener “Count Chocula” to the awesome finale of the title track, the album successfully forges a party-punk atmosphere that makes you want to paint your bedroom walls black and push your grandmother into a mosh pit. Although songs like “John’s On Acid” and “Noam Disco” are conventional and boring punk-by-numbers, the rest of New Normal is full of crunchy licks and playful lyrics. The album puts the raw back in rock. —Julian Blizzard

\\ 03.19.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

Canada’s best and brightest CBC Literary Awards honour human geographer, Indian immigrant, poet by Justin Bromberg The Link MONTREAL (CUP) – TO BORROW A line from Shakespeare: “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Would a writer by any other name, then, still write as well? If the winners of the 2008 CBC/Radio-Canada Literary Awards are any indication, it’s a reminder that one should never judge a book by its cover. This year’s award ceremony was held Feb. 26 at the Montreal Opus Hotel, honouring a host of writers from across the country. Four winners— two English and two French—were selected in three categories: poetry, short story, and creative non-fiction. The purse for first prize was $6,000, while second-prize winners took home a cheque for $4,000, courtesy of the Canada Council for the Arts. All winning entries will be published in Air Canada’s enRoute magazine. Submissions were accepted from across the country, which perhaps explains the diversity of the winners’ professions. “We artists ... we’re the people; we’re the soldiers; the ones who say: ‘Wake up!’” says Sue Goyette, the first-prize poetry winner, a creative writing professor and active community member in her native Halifax. “And it’s a challenging time to make art, so whenever I get an opportunity to give a lecture, or a reading, I always say that art is a really important thing.” She describes her winning entry, “Outskirts” as “a series of poems dealing with the loss of darkness; literally and metaphorically the loss of our wilderness. We’ve covered a lot of land in our sprawl, and I’ve just noticed that it’s a challenge to find places that are dark, and silent, and untouched.” In the short story category, second prize went to Gitanjali Kolanad. Born in India, Kolanad grew up in Winnipeg and Thunder Bay. The inspiration for her story, “The American Girl” came from her desire to write about Car-

photo by Justin Bromberg

Hosts Shelagh Rogers (left) and Christiane Charette share a laugh during their opening speech. natic music—a form of South Indian classical music—and to present an image of South Indian women that differed from “a kind of selfsacrificing image”. “There’s a sense, though you have to guess, that they’re discovering India with an eye that’s different from [the] Indian [perspective],” Kolanad says about her story’s two main characters. “That’s something that happened to me when I visited India.” Her work is a self-professed “fictionalized memoir,” which takes its inspiration from elements of the author’s life. “One of the things that fiction allows you is that you don’t have to stick to time frames, so I guess that’s the kind of license I wanted. But on the other hand, it’s very important to say that things like this happen, that this is not science

fiction. Every sentence in this [story] is based on a real moment.” Over in the non-fiction category, first-prize winner Sarah de Leeuw was celebrating her unexpected first-place finish in the creative section. A native of northern British Columbia, de Leeuw is a human geographer who teaches in the medical program at the University of Northern British Columbia. Human geography isn’t a common term, and de Leeuw takes time to define it. “Well, if a historian studies time as a basic social concept, geographers study space,” says de Leeuw. “We are interested in human interactions, relationships … the way that space makes us who we are, and how we make space human.” Her winning piece, “Columbus Burning,” describes the events surrounding a fire that destroyed the Columbus Hotel in Prince George,

B.C., in 2008. Though de Leeuw is also a poet, creative non-fiction is her preferred genre. “I’m an academic so I have to write boring,” she says. “You get to be inspired by events in real life, but have to aestheticize them.” “But with the Columbus Hotel and the tragedy that ensued, I followed it particularly [closely] because I have a great interest in marginalization. Which is something I think Canadians should take more notice [of], especially in a country as rich as Canada.” Other winners include Denise Ryan, who finished second in the English creative non-fiction category for her work My Father, Smoking; Jim Johnstone, who placed second in English poetry for his collection Invertebrate Poems; and Claire Battershill, who finished first in the English short story category for her story “Circus”.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.19.09 //

ARTS // 11

Chewing gum

chronicles Dissecting the colourful history of the chewy stuff by Megan O’Meara Fulcrum Staff

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VERY YEAR, BUBBLE gum enthusiasts around the world celebrate Bubble gum Week in the second week of March. While chewing on a piece of a gum is a regular action for students, many know little about the history of the tasty candy. Gum—or a variation of it—has been a part of human existence for thousands of years. Its appealing history warrants an in depth look into the sticky substance that is gum.

Gummy origins

Gum has a colourful history that reaches back to prehistoric people first discovered the habit of resin—a thick, sticky liquid secreted by conifero Swedish archeologists happened upon a wad of with honey. The ancient gum was estimated to be years old and had the teeth marks of a prehistor Archeologists have discovered that the habit was an international affair. The ancient Greeks tree sap to clean their teeth and freshen their second-century Mayans of Central America we ing on a particular type of resin—chicle. Nativ joyed chewing resin found on the bark of spruc the early settlers of New England arrived, they touch of beeswax to the resin in order to soften The International Chewing Gum Association ganization of worldwide gum manufacturers an pliers formed to present a united voice on gum r the globe. According to Stefan Pfander, preside candy was commercialized in the 19th century b “Inventor Thomas Adams was hired [by the g quered the Alamo, Antonio Lopez de Santa Ann velop a new type of rubber using the gummy s Pfander explained. “Try as he might, Adams wa his experiments but recognized the potential chi uct that was chewed. Out of his experiments ca York No. 1, the first modern chewing gum.” Closer to the 20th century, gum manufacturi popular, with companies like Wrigley’s and F opening and mass-producing the treat and givin of flavours—spearmint, tropical fruit, and cinnam ers. In 1906, Frank Henry Fleer, founder of Fl invented bubble gum—a stickier, more flexible which could be blown into bubbles. Fleer called Blabber. Unfortunately, consumers found his fo and the gum never got distributed. It took inventors 22 years to find perfect the r emer, a 23-year-old accountant working at the Fl had been playing around with gum recipes he happened upon the unique recip sought-after bubble gum in 1928. tic pink of bubble gum also happe it was the only food colouring ava at the time. Fleer named Diemer’s creation and the gum exploded onto the ma US$1.5 million worth in its first year alone—a su in the 1920s. While selling his creation, Deimer p salesmen how to blow bubbles with the gum so t turn teach customers. Dubble Bubble ruled the despite the fact that Deimer never patented h mistake proved costly as other brands of bubb

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o 7,000 BCE when chewing on tree ous trees. In 1993, f resin sweetened e more than 9,000 ric teenager on it. t of gum chewing used to chew on breath while the ere fond of chewve Americans ence trees and when added their own the treat. n (ICGA) is an ord ingredient supregulations across ent of ICGA, the by happenstance. general who conna] in 1869 to desubstance chicle,” as unsuccessful in icle had as a prodame Adams New

ing became more leer Corporation ng it a wider range mon, among othleer Corporation, and sugary gum his gum Blibberormula too sticky

recipe. Walter Dileer Corporation, as a hobby when pe for the highly . The characterisened by chance, as ailable to Diemer

n Dubble Bubble arket, selling over ubstantial amount personally taught that they could in market for years his creation. This ble gum began to

pop up, taking customers away from Dubble Bubble and the Fleer Corporation. With the emergence of a wider range of flavours and the sugary new bubble gum, the chewing-gum industry had begun its incredible ascent.

Bubble gum and baseball From the 1930s onward, gum and trading cards were known as a two-for-one deal. Over the years, the faces of famous Major League Baseball stars, the Beatles, and even Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe have helped tie bubble gum to the pop culture of the times. Before the 1930s, baseball cards were distributed in cigarette cartons. Trading card companies stepped away from being linked with tobacco in order to focus solely on the child demographic associated with the trading cards, and turned to bubble gum in order to attract children. In 1933, Goudey Gum Company came out with their gum, Big League Chewing Gum, and were the first to sell bubble gum packaged with baseball cards. Writer Paul Sommers researched the emergence of baseball cards and bubble gum for his 1992 book Diamonds Are Forever. “The 1930s manufacturers of chewing gum in particular saw the player cards’ special potential as reliable promotional vehicles for selling gum to kids and began in earnest to supply such cards with their wares,” he wrote. World War Two halted the production of baseball cards due to the rationing of paper products, but in the 1950s the Topps Company gained control of the market. The company had developed a new style for the cards with the picture of the player on one side and statistics on the back, a change embraced by all. The first set of Topps cards were issued in 1951, and with the release of the Mickey Mantle card the following year, the company saw their sales rise. Mantle was considered the best baseball player of the era and his card was the most popular trading card at the time. Today, the same Mantle card is estimated to be worth over US$200,000. By 1956, Topps was producing trading cards for all major league sports. The card and gum packages took hold, with trading cards for musicians and movie stars soon being distributed alongside athletes. The cards became a cultural phenomenon for children growing up in the 30s and beyond. Lee Wardlaw, author of the 1997 children’s book Bubblemania: The Chewy History of Bubble Gum, was fascinated by the candy and its interesting history. She was one of many children who loved the addition of bubble gum to trading cards.

“I grew up in the 1960s when trading cards amongst us kids were popular: baseball cards, sports car cards, monster cards, Wacky Packs, you name it,” Wardlaw said in an interview with the Fulcrum. “My personal favorite: The Beatles collectible cards. Half the fun of a new batch of trading cards was chewing that flat, stiff, powdered-sugared rectangle of gum while shuffling through the photos of John, Paul, George, and Ringo.”

A little chewing goes a long way According to Wardlaw, the worldwide gum industry was worth an incredible US$20 billion in 2007—not bad for a product that costs a buck or two a pack. In fact, while researching for her book, Wardlaw found that when the economy takes a dive, gum sales usually rise. Gum is popular for a number of reasons but few people know the benefits. A 2000 study completed by the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota found that chewing gum relieves stress by releasing pent-up energy. Wardlaw discovered the correlation between chewing gum and stress relief when researching for her book. “Gum chewing helps to relieve stress and anxiety,” she said. “More teachers should allow their students to chew gum (quietly, of course) during tests. They might be surprised by the improved test scores.” A 2002 study completed by the Cognitive Research Unit in London, England looked at the mental benefits of chewing gum. The scientists discovered that the chewing process helped increase both short- and longterm memory by up to 35 per cent. “The results were extremely clear; specifically we found that chewing gum targeted memory,” said neurologist Andrew Scholey in an interview with the Washington Post. “People recalled more words and performed better in tests on working memory.” Chewing gum doesn’t only enhance brainpower; it also has positive dental effects. When chewed after meals, sugar-free gum—which arrived on the scene in 1984 and immediately became more popular than gum with sugar—has been proven to remove plaque from teeth. According to the American Dental Association (ADA), chewing gum after eating increases the amount of saliva in your mouth, which neutralizes and washes away acids produced by the food eaten. Studies have shown that if sugarless gum is chewed for 20 minutes following meals, it can help prevent tooth decay. The ADA gave sugarless chewing gum its Seal of Acceptance, only given to products that have provided scientific evidence towards one or more indications of healthy teeth.

Chewing gum facts The record for the largest bubble gum bubble is an enormous 23 inches in diameter, held by American Susan Williams. In 1944, a man from Pennsylvania lost some teeth when the piece of bubble gum he was chewing inexplicably exploded. The longest gumwrapper chain ever made was constructed by Gary Duschl from Virginia Beach, Virginia in 2007 and is an incredible 8.13 miles long. Chewing gum has been banned in Singapore since 1992 after vandals across the country placed their chewed gum in keyholes, mailboxes, and on door sensors of the Mass Rapid Transit system.

images courtesy sxc.hu and rarebeatles.com

the fulcrum | page 13

The Fulcrum is hiring a Business Manager The Fulcrum Publishing Society is hiring a Business Manager for a one-year term running from May 1, 2009 to April 30, 2010. If you have experience or interest in basic bookkeeping, dealing with Mac computer environments, print production processes, non-profit governance and enjoy working in a student environment, you may be our ideal candidate. Applications must consist of a cover letter and resume. These should be submitted to the attention of the “Business Manager Hiring Committee” either by email to [email protected], by fax to 613.562.5259 or to Fulcrum’s mailbox at 631 King Edward Ave. Applications must be received by Friday April 3rd 2009 by 5 p.m. Late applications will not be considered. Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted. Rideau Centre 2nd level 613.562.0101 799 Bank St 613.233.2065 www.magpiejewellery.com

Bring on the bromance by Hisham Kelati Fulcrum Staff BROMANCE IS THE special type of intimate and affectionate friendship between two men, and it’s also the subject of John Hamburg’s new comedy I Love You, Man. Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd), a meek real estate agent who’s anything but macho, tries to find himself a best man for his upcoming wedding to Zooey (Rashida Jones). After going on a series of man-dates, Peter discovers a best friend in Sydney Fife (Jason Segel). Unfortunately for Peter, his bromance with Sydney begins to put Peter at odds with Zooey. Rudd and Segel are Hollywood comedy veterans, and they sat down for an interview about brotherly love, the KKK, and full-frontal male nudity. photo courtesy Warner Bros.

Paul Rudd and Jason Segel have a bro-ner for one another in I Love You, Man. Fulcrum: In I Love You, Man, you guys are playing close friends; two dudes with a deep and complex relationship. Did you have to do any preparation beforehand to develop chemistry? Segel: We had a couple of hangs. We went to the bar a couple of times, and scored a few brews. Rudd: We pounded some brews. Thankfully, we knew each other, so there was already a little bit of a built-in familiarity. We made several boner jokes before we ever started filming this one, so we already spoke the same language. S: I wasn’t joking. R: I wasn’t joking either, and when I say boner jokes and language, I mean, it’s an actual language called ‘Bonerist’. S: Yeah, it’s a lot like sign-language, unfortunately. R: It’s like sign-language without the hands. S: There’s really only a couple of letters. R: That’s an ‘L’. S: Nope, it’s an ‘I’! I Love You, Man features male nudity, much like Segel’s other project, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. What’s it like to show off the goods? S: Well, I was the first to show my dick, [in Forgetting Sarah Marshall], as far as I know, in a co-

medic sense. Can you say ‘dick’ in Texas? R: Yeah, you went full-frontal, but I think there was a dick in Walk Hard. But you only saw a dick. You kind of put dick and face together. That came out wrong. I went ass in 40 Year Old Virgin. S: That’s right, you did. You know, between my dick and your ass, we’re pretty funny. R: That is true. Just wait until we do the sequel to this [movie], we’re both going to show our taints. You’re both veterans of the work of prolific producer Judd Apatow, though he’s not involved with this film, and so is the director and co-writer of I Love You, Man, John Hamburg. How do you two find working with the group of performers, writers, and directors who seem to orbit around Apatow? S: Yeah, what attracts me is … that we formed a very tight comedy coalition, and so Paul and I worked together a bunch, and John Hamburg and Paul and I have known each other for so long. It’s a very, very comfortable environment. R: I also call it a comfortable comedy coalition, but what I do [is] I change it up and I use K’s, so I’m involved in a very Komfortable Komedy Koalition... S: But Paul, that’s the KKK.

R: Whoops! I realize that I [do] belong to the KKK, the Komfortable Komedy Koalition. What we like to do is improvise, have some fun, and we’re an extremely racist group. S: If it’s just about comedy, I think you should rethink the uniforms. R: Yeah, it’s the hats that really… S: Yeah… R: I think we need to rethink the spelling, and just go with… S: Oh, Paul is getting dead eyes. I’m watching him right now. R: No, no, I’m just trying to think of something with the initials S.S. People are fascinated with the idea of ‘bromance’. What do you feel is so appealing about this type of relationship? Why did you choose to explore it? S: I think it’s been a long time coming, to see a good male platonic comedy, and that’s what we’re going for. We got as close to the homoerotic line as possible, without crossing it, which we both found comedically satisfying. R: It seems to be the word of the moment, ‘bromantic’. Jason, what are your favourite bromantic movies from the ‘80s? S: I think my favourite comedy is Midnight Cowboy. Twins is pretty great, and its follow-up Junior!

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How do you go out with a girl who says “Oh, I loved you in Forgetting Sarah Marshall...” R: “...but what I really loved was seeing you and that taint.” S: It actually makes [life] much more comfortable, because [now] the girls know what they’re going to get. So there’s not any mystery or awkward moments where there’s a “Yeah, this is what I’m working with”. If they want to go on a date, they’ve already checked out the goods. And on the big screen too, which [is] more helpful. R: But there’s also a chance that they watched it on iTunes, and they watched it on their iPod, which would give you an iDick. S: I’m hoping the big screen, cause it adds 10 pounds. R: You have a 15-pound dick! S: Which means … that my dick would weigh five pounds in real life. R: But I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall on an IMAX screen, which adds 20 pounds, and in actuality, and I don’t mean to offend you Jason, but I think your dick weighs negative five pounds. S: Ooh, zoinks! R: Boo-shaklaka! S: I’ve got mail! I Love You, Man opens in theatres March 20.

The OCRI Entrepreneurship Centre offers a wide range of programs and services for young people considering starting their own business. From the Summer Company youth entrepreneurship program, to seminars on starting and growing a business, to financing programs and more – the Entrepreneurship Centre is here to help you get started on the right foot. Visit us online or in person today to find out more.

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www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.19.09 //

ARTS // 15

Sports

David McClelland Sports Editor [email protected] March 19–25, 2009

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Western kills Ottawa’s championship bid Men’s basketball team finds redemption in consolation games by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff THE GEE-GEES MEN’S basketball team may not have ended their 2008–09 season with a championship title, but they did end on a high note during the 2009 Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) national tournament. The eightteam championship was held March 13–15 at Scotiabank Place. Winning two out of three games, the Gee-Gees finished fifth, winning the consolation final. Meanwhile, the Carleton Ravens emerged as the top team with an 87-77 win over the British Columbia Thunderbirds, their sixth title in seven years. The Gees, who qualified for the national championship with a win over the Windsor Lancers on March 7 and were seeded fifth going into the first game, kicked off the tournament on March 13 against the Ontario University Athletics finalists the Western Mustangs. Ottawa served up one of their worst efforts of the year in the game as they were dropped 75-48. “We just laid an egg,” said fifth-year centre Dax Dessureault following the loss. “No one hit any shots, [and] no one played well.” The game actually started well for the GeeGees. Ottawa matched Western nearly basket for basket, and only trailed 15-14 at the end of the first quarter. But the Mustangs took off in the second quarter, going on a 10-point run and soaring to a 33-20 lead going into halftime. Much of the Gees’ problems stemmed from an inability to hit the basket, despite having clear shooting lanes. Ottawa had a dismal 23.3 per cent shooting percentage in the first half. “We weren’t running a really crisp offence,” said Dessureault. “We were getting open shots, just we couldn’t hit them.” The Gee-Gees’ woes continued throughout the second half of the game, as Western built an insurmountable lead. Although Ottawa’s shooting improved, they couldn’t match Western’s energetic play, and trailed the Mustangs 54-39 at the end of the third quarter. Western shut down Ottawa’s attack in the final frame, strolling to a decisive 75-48 victory. The loss sent the Gee-Gees to the consolation semifinals the next afternoon, where they cruised to an 85-63 win over the eighth-seeded St. Francis Xavier X-Men. “We’re playing three games at nationals. It isn’t the three that we wanted to play, but we’re still playing three,” said Gee-Gees head coach Dave DeAveiro after the win. “This was a character game for us. We could have rolled over after getting beaten the way we [were] beaten last night, but we came out and showed some pride and some character, so I’m really proud of our guys tonight.” The Gee-Gees certainly looked like a more confident team, opening up a 14-5 lead by the midpoint of the first quarter and never looking back. Up 43-28 by halftime, the Gee-Gees didn’t let the X-Men even smell victory in the second half, and ran away with the game in the fourth quarter. Dessureault was Ottawa’s top scorer

with 24 points, a performance that was followed closely by the 22-point effort from rookie guard Warren Ward. With the victory the Gee-Gees advanced to play against the Concordia Stingers for fifthplace. The match was easily Ottawa’s most closely contested game of the tournament, with the Gees eventually walking away with an 83-76 win. The game began with both teams fighting a protracted battle, but Ottawa eventually established a lead midway through the first quarter, and found themselves up 22-20 by its end. The Gees then poured on the effort and took a 40-32 lead into the dressing room at halftime. Still, the Stingers didn’t go gracefully, pulling to within one point of catching up to Ottawa in the third quarter. It wasn’t until the final minute of the game, when Concordia failed to capitalize on several crucial possessions, that the Gees finally sewed up the victory. “You don’t want to end your season on a loss,” said DeAveiro. “And [the win] kind of builds for next year, because next year starts now. We’re getting ready to play, and we’re getting ready to prepare for next year.” The match was not only the final game of Ottawa’s season, but also the swan song for departing veterans Dessureault and forward David Labentowicz, who have both completed their fifth year of CIS eligibility. “I had a good career. [I’m] happy with what I did, and it’s good to finish on a win,” said Dessureault, who earned all three player-of-the-game awards for the Gees in the tournament. For Labentowicz, the game was not about the end of his CIS career, but about the future of the program and helping the Gees achieve success after his departure. “Honestly, it’s not about me,” said Labentowicz after the game. “I told these guys before the game that this game today, and the game yesterday, they’re build-ups to our championship run next year.”

Championship quarter-final

Ottawa Western Gee-Gees FG%: 27.1

48 75

Consolation semi-final

Ottawa 85 St. FX 63 Dax Dessureault: 24 points Warren Ward: 22 points

Consolation final Ottawa Concordia

83 76

Dax Dessureault: 22 points Josh Gibson-Bascombe: 18 points

photo by Alex Smyth

Gee-Gees forward David Labentowicz drives to the basket in his final CIS championship.

“We just laid an egg.”

Dax Dessureault Gee-Gees centre

Gee-Gees centre Dax Dessureault shoots a free throw in Ottawa’s 75-48 loss to the Western Mustangs.

photo by Muse Mohammed

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Martlets blow out Gee-Gees Women’s hockey team swept in Quebec finals by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff AFTER SURRENDERING FOURTEEN goals in two games, the Gee-Gees were demolished by the McGill Martlets in the best-of-three Quebec Student Sports Federation (QSSF) finals. The Gee-Gees fell 7-0 on March 11 and 7-1 on March 13. However, as QSSF finalists, they still qualify for a berth at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport championship March 19–22. The series began in Ottawa on March 11 with a dismal effort from the Gees. Ottawa fell behind by three goals in the first six minutes and were never able to recover. McGill scored once more in the first period, and then added three goals in the second to seal Ottawa’s fate. It was the Martlets’ 50th consecutive win against Canadian competition. “Our players came out really tired and lethargic, and we sat back and really let McGill go after us,” said Gee-Gees head coach Shelley Coolidge, who noted that her team was exhausted after playing the Carleton Ravens in three consecu-

tive double-overtime games in the semifinals March 4–8. “We definitely did not play to our potential,” said Gee-Gees captain Danika Smith. “It was not a high-energy game for us, and we made a lot of mistakes, more mistakes than we can [afford] against that team. The game ended 7-0, and against a team like McGill that’s what the result is going to be if we play like that.” The Gees stepped up their performance in game two on March 6 in Montreal, beating McGill goaltender Charline Labonte once in the final frame, but it was nowhere near enough to win. Ottawa kept the Martlets from running away with the game in the first and second periods, holding them to three goals in that span, but gave up four in the final frame to hand McGill the QSSF championship. “As a team, I was proud of the group in terms of how we competed through that game,” said Coolidge, who added that McGill’s power-play hurt Ottawa. “As a group we need to be more disciplined. If we’re going to be successful this weekend at [nationals], it’s going to be because we play a more disciplined style and stay out of the penalty box.” As QSSF finalists, the Gee-Gees have earned a berth in the upcoming Canadian Interuniver-

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Young Gee-Gees track team coming into their own by David McClelland Fulcrum Staff

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NO UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa runner had won a gold medal at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) track and field championship since 1999—until March 14, when second-year runner Julia Tousaw placed first in the women’s 600-metre race. The championship was held March 12–14 in Windsor, with the U of O women’s team finishing eighth out of a field of 20 and the men’s team coming in 14th out of 20. The Gee-Gees track team returned to competition last year, after not competing for the previous eight seasons, due to the fact that the U of O stopped sponsoring a team. The squad relaunched in 2007 as a varsity team in partnership with the Ottawa Lions track and field club. “The men [placed] where we thought they might; we’ve had some troubles this year,” said Gee-Gees head coach Andy McInnis. “[The women’s team] lined up to the greater part of our expectations and in several cases exceeded what we thought might be possible.” For her part, Tousaw cited her experience in last year’s CIS championship as a big part of her success this year. “[Winning] felt really good, obviously,” said Tousaw. “The race went really well. I really knew what to expect this time around and I knew that if I ran to my potential I would win it.”

18 \\ SPORTS

photo by Joël Côté-Cright

The Ottawa net was a busy place in the QSSF final, with McGill launching over 80 shots. sity Sport national tournament, which will be said Smith. “We’ll have to play to our strengths held in Antigonish, N.S. Ottawa is scheduled and not worry too much about their system of to open the championship against the Laurier play. I think if we just try to control the puck Golden Hawks on March 19. and play our game, that’s the best way we can “We’re going to be trying to use our speed,” approach it.”

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U of O student Julia Tousaw won gold in the women’s 600-metre run. In addition to Tousaw’s gold, the Gees came home with three silver medals. Fourth-year runner Jacqueline Malette came second in the women’s 1,500-metre run, secondyear sprinter Tyler Fawcette won silver in the men’s 60-metre hurdles, and the women’s 4x800-metre relay team (which included Tousaw and Malette) also finished second. For McInnis, this year’s champi-

\\ 03.19.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

onship is just another step along the road to turning the team into a true competitor. He hopes that the team’s success this year will help them attract new runners in the future. “It took a year for people to finally realize that we had a program,” explained McInnis. “This is year two where they take a look at our program, and year three [will be] where [runners] decide to come to our program.”

Associate News Editor Volunteer and Visibility Coordinator Copy Editor (Two positions available) Webmaster Contact [email protected] for more information or to apply. Applications are due April 10 at 5 p.m. Email a cover letter, resume, and clippings (if applicable) to news@ thefulcrum.ca or drop them off at 631 King Edward Ave.

Lighting the lamp

David McClelland Sports Editor THIS PAST WEEKEND, Canada’s best university men’s basketball teams descended upon Scotiabank Place to compete for the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) national title. As I sat courtside during the tournament, I couldn’t help but feel that the tournament has some problems that need to be resolved for future tournaments. First of all, there is a problem with the way seedings for the tournament were decided. Teams are placed into two brackets based on rankings determined by a committee of coaches

CIS shake up whose teams are not in the tournament, with ogy for picking the teams. The easiest way to do the first, fourth, fifth, and eighth teams in one this would be to give the four conference chambracket, and the second, third, sixth, and sev- pions seeds one through four, and then allocate enth in the other. For the 2009 tournament, the the final four to the remaining teams. This year Carleton Ravens, Ottawa Gee-Gees, and West- that group would have been comprised of three ern Mustangs (all three teams from the Ontario conference finalists and the Ontario University Athletics (OUA) University Athletics conference) were third-place team. Within these two all placed in the first There needs to be more blocks, statistics and bracket—while both transparency brought to the season records would teams in the Canada West conference selection process, with a clear decide team rankwere in the other— ings, which should methodology for picking the ensure fairness in the meaning that the two matchups, and make playoff games leading teams. to the national chamthe process easier to understand. pionship were played between conference rivals, who already play one The other problem I had with the tournament was its structure. There was nothing wrong with another in the regular season. This has led me to wonder what, exactly, went the scheduling of games, but I did find the prointo the process of deciding the seedings. No gression of the tournament to be odd. Teams consideration was taken to split up conference that win in the quarter-final round obviously rivals, and the actual methodology of the seed- move on to the semifinal round, while the losings was hard to understand. So it becomes ob- ers are relegated to the consolation semifinals. vious that there needs to be more transparency Teams that win in the semifinal games go on to in the selection process, with a clear methodol- the national championship and consolation fi-

nals on the last day of the tournament. That’s all well and good, but what happens to the teams that lose in the championship semifinals? In short, they’re done. Their reward for winning the first game and coming up short in the second is not a chance to play for a bronze medal, but rather the end of their tournament. As such, there isn’t even a clearly determined third-place team. This doesn’t make any sense. Why should teams that lose in the first round get to play on Sunday, while teams that lose in the second don’t? Sure, it would require fitting an extra game into the schedule, but at least that way there would be a nice, neat one-two-three finish and no teams would be punished for being successful. The tournament included a bronze-medal game in the 2006 edition, and I don’t understand what would be so difficult about including it now. Overall, I think the tournament was a fantastic experience, but I can’t help but think things could be better. It wouldn’t take too much extra effort, and it would result in a more exciting and fairer tournament in future years. [email protected] 613-562-5931

Sequined swimmers Synchronized swimming at the U of O by Sarah Leavitt Fulcrum Staff EIGHT PAIRS OF legs emerge from the water, perfectly in time, as the University of Ottawa’s synchronized swimming team completes yet another routine. The synchronized swimming team has been a competitive club at the U of O for six years, competing in the student-run Canadian Universities Synchronized Swim League, which includes 15 university clubs. Kelly Hoop began the U of O club in her second year of university in 2002, when eight swimmers joined together to form a competitive team. In the 2008–09 season, the club was made up of 25 players—enough to form two teams. Since 2006, Hoop has served as the team’s head coach. The U of O club meets twice a week at the Montpetit Hall pool. “We have practice every Sunday night for three hours,” explains Lauren Roberts, a member of the team. “For the first hour we do dryland stuff. The beginning of the year is mainly choreographing our routine. We also practise Thursday mornings. It’s pretty much in the pool the whole time. We do sprints, lane workouts, and then half the time we make up the routine and work on it.” The sport is a combination of gymnastics, ballet, and swimming, so each swimmer has to be incredibly physically fit, flexible, and aware of their teammates. A synchronized swimming routine may only be five minutes long, but it involves months of preparation. “The whole point is to make it look easy,” said Roberts. “It is pretty physically demanding in a lot of different ways.” “The classic image of the synchronized swimmer is loads of makeup, a huge smile, one arm out

The U of O synchronized swimming team practises its five-minute routine twice a week. of the water: a ballerina-type,” Hoop said. “Really, pression. the whole time she is thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m “In technical merit what [judges] are lookgoing to die, when is this going to be over?’” ing for is basically the difficulty of the figures The U of O club participates in three meets and the way it was executed,” Hoop explained. a year: provincials, nationals, and an event at “Because it’s synchronized with the team, they McGill University. Judges of the competitions look also at execution. Is everyone doing it at give marks for technical merit and artistic im- the same time? Are all your angles the same? For

photo by Kelly Hoop

artistic impression, they look at how you interact with the music and the originality of your routine.” The club recently competed at the national meet hosted by the University of Toronto on Feb. 7. The first and second teams placed ninth and 11th out of the 15-team field, respectively.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.19.09 //

SPORTS // 19

LETTERS continued from p. 3

Tired of the right-wing corporate crap? Don’t just sit there:

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The groups sending out this letter are voicing their disappointment in me. I would simply like to voice my disappointment on tokenism. Racism is not a word that should be thrown around lightly. Accusing the appellant of being racist for bringing forward an appeal against four students accused of fraud is completely unacceptable. It diminishes the meaning of the word, it unjustly slanders a student, and it showcases these student groups’ disconnect from reality. Racism on this campus does exist. It is a reality every minority faces every day. To make light of it by showing up in large groups at the request of student politicians, to hold signs accusing politically incorrect individuals of being racist only to the benefit of certain student politicians, and to write open letters to the media (again to the benefit of the same student politicians) accusing an advocate for a discrimination-free campus of embarrassing the black community is completely reprehensible. I apologize to all students for my words. Not to black students, not to Haïtian students, but to all students. This campus does not need any more division than it already has. I ask the members of the groups that signed this open letter to question their leadership for their actions in the last weeks and to ask: Is this why these associations exist? Aminka Belvitt Second-year public administration student Due to space constraints, we were unable to print all letters received this week. Go to thefulcrum.ca/letters to read the others.

sudoku answers from p. 22

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\\ 03.19.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

Opinion

Michael Olender Executive Editor [email protected] March 19–25, 2009

What would happen if I were to tell

nothing but the truth? by Hisham Kelati Fulcrum Staff LET ME START off by saying that I believe that I am morally superior to most of the people I know. I dislike my family and I’m looking forward to moving far away from them. I mostly write articles for the Fulcrum just so I can see my name in print. I only like a handful of my friends, the rest being something akin to background characters. I am outraged by social conservatism and a lack of social justice but I don’t bother acting on it. I’ve fantasized about every one of my girl friends, and when I meet a new girl my initial reaction is to imagine us having sex. What you have just read are a few personal examples of a practice called Radical Honesty. I was re-reading the July 2007 issue of Esquire, where writer A. J. Jacobs interviewed the father of Radical Honesty, Brad Blanton. Blanton is a Virginiabased psychotherapist whose theory and practice is based on the premise that the world would be a better place if we all just stopped lying. But Blanton wants to take it one step further by having everyone remove the socially constructed filter between thought and mouth, and have everyone say whatever pops into their heads, politeness be damned. The process of Radical Honesty, as laid out by Blanton, is to start a conversation by saying either, “I resent you for” or “I appreciate you for” and then to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. As well, all confessions (they really are just that) should be face-to-face, as a person should feel the emotional energy and see the bodily reactions that accompany the telling of the honest truth. The face-to-face meeting also forces both members to share in the moment, leading to a confrontation of sorts that affects the relationship for the better or worse. Fundamentally, I’m a staunch believer in telling it like it is. But I have a nasty habit of appeasing or surrendering to the actions and reasoning of my friends, as I’m afraid of losing their respect. It also doesn’t help that I need to be liked by everyone. Sometimes I know I’m lying, but I’d rather lie to maintain a relationship than tell the truth and possibly alienate someone I really don’t care much for. This all leads me to a continual state of inner conflict. So in an attempt to break free of the vicious circle of emotional self-spitefulness, I decided to live two weeks of my life according to the Radical Honesty philosophy. The first thing I did was go through my Facebook friends and delete 112 people, commenting on most walls with, “I don’t really know/like you, so why should I bother?” Only one messaged me back, saying she was sad that I didn’t consider her a friend. I responded by asking if she was really sad, or if she was pissed for losing one of her 1000+ Facebook friends. She didn’t respond. Other than that blip, I chalked this one up as a win for Radical Honesty.

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A co-op student is still a student So open services outside of the nine to five by Chelsea Edgell Fulcrum Contributor

photo by Martha Pearce

Next, I told one of my best friends that I appreciated and loved him. Rather than laugh as I suspected he would, he told me he loved me as well. We then discussed what our friendship would be like 40 years down the road. This was another win. Interestingly, this experience confirmed Blanton’s purpose of Radical Honesty: continual communication solidifies the true nature of the relationship, with the relationship either moving forward or the façade ending. In this case, the relationship moved forward. Then I told my boss that I hated my job and I was only there for the money. She laughed nervously (loss). I told a girl at Heaven nightclub that I wanted to take her home, and then have her leave after sex. She walked away (loss). I told a sales associate who was helping me find a shirt that I had no intention of buying one, and was only going through with this interaction because I felt guilty about wasting her time. She was quite annoyed (loss). During a brief intervention regarding my future, I finally admitted to my mother that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, let alone what I was going to do after graduation. As assumed, no further dialogue ensued, just a sad shaking of the head and barely audible disappointing ‘tsks’ emanating from her mouth (loss). On the final day of my Radical Honesty experiment, I found myself sitting beside a rather foul-smelling girl on the back of a bus. I took a moment to steady myself, and explained to her that she smelled awful and that she needed to move before she made me puke. She called me a pig, and I responded that it was either I step up and tell her the truth, or that everyone she met from that moment on would silently judge her for her body odour. She sat silently for a moment, and then let out a mumbled, “thank you” before moving towards the door and getting off at the next stop. And there you have it: my first legitimate Radical Honesty win—a complete stranger acknowledging my unadul-

tered honesty and thanking me for it. Some people might liken being honest to being rude or inconsiderate, but when did telling the truth become rude? Is it more socially acceptable to lie than it is to be completely honest? We’ve become so accustomed to lying that we willingly changed the rules to allow the inclusion of ‘little white lies’ just to ease our guilty conscience. So now it’s worth more to not hurt someone’s feelings and let them continue on with their lie-based lives than it is to be totally honest and give them a chance to see the situation as it really is. I think Blanton has the right idea, and that by being totally honest with everyone, only then will you ever be able to make a meaningful connection. That being said, in general I think student life at the University of Ottawa could benefit from an injection of honesty. I resent it when people backbite one another, but act like friends whenever they see each other. I resent seeing immature and spoiled students complain incessantly about their ‘miserable’ lives. I resent this general aura of superficiality that hangs over campus like a dark grey cloud. Bring in a little sunshine; spread a little light on the deception and inanity of people’s actions! Radical Honesty not only helps someone become a better person by highlighting their faults or good graces, it also helps create relationships based on truth and sincerity. You’ll help foster a lifestyle of genuine communication, which will cut through the fake, trivial bullshit that is the centrepiece of the dialogue in society today. So the next time you find that you’re censoring yourself, or that you’ve been put into a situation where you feel fake and insincere, why not throw in a bit of Radical Honesty and see how it goes? By being honest, you’re doing people a service and you are nothing short of a considerate, decent human being. Personally, I’ve never been happier and I had never felt so free than during those 14 wonderful days.

THAT’S IT. I’M going to say it: I’m incredibly disappointed and frustrated with the inaccessibility of services to co-op students at the University of Ottawa. At present, completing a work term means that for a period of four to eight months it’s difficult—if not impossible—to be on campus during regular business hours. This means that it’s equally challenging to access certain U of O and Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) services as they’re only open nine to five. Registration in a co-op program is a choice, so I won’t lament the fact that work terms essentially prohibit co-op students from engaging in many extra-curricular activities. We cannot expect sports teams to hold all their practices during the evenings, ask on-campus resources to allow us to volunteer exclusively at night, or ask the Fulcrum to hold its volunteer meetings at a time other than 2:30 p.m. Co-op is an opportunity that necessitates time management and the temporary sacrifice of extracurriculars like these. However, a co-op student is still a student, and there are some services that ought not to fall victim to the cruel necessities of time management. A co-op student still pays fees to the U of O and still pays fees to the SFUO. I feel that resources funded in part by co-op student fees should be available outside regular business hours. Co-op students have a legitimate need for access to SFUO services such as the Bilingualism Centre, the Centre for Students with Disabilities, the Centre for Equity and Human Rights, and the Student Appeal Centre. Services offered by the U of O should also be available outside business hours. All co-op students should be able to make an appointment with Financial Services or visit InfoService or (more importantly) speak to one of their faculty’s academic advisors, not simply those students with flexible employers and those whose placements are close to campus. This is especially important considering that many co-op students are obliged to pursue night classes in addition to their full-time work terms. I would like to offer my sincere thanks to those who have attempted to work around this issue. For example, co-op students and others who could not make the meeting on SFUO electoral reform (held at 2 p.m. on Dec. 5) were invited to share their thoughts via email. Kudos to those responsible for making the Peer Help Centre, Bon Appétit!, and other SFUO services available after 5 p.m. Thank you to those services that compensate for their limited business hours by holding regular evening events, such as the Pride Centre. This is a step in the right direction. To all those services that are available outside regular business hours: I commend you for your understanding and flexibility. Please forgive me if I do not mention you specifically. To those services that close at 4 or 5 p.m. each day: please consider extending your business hours, or advertise flexibility with regards to making evening appointments. Even one extra hour a week could make a difference to a co-op student struggling for support. It would also be appreciated if services such as Health Promotion and the Student Academic Success Service put on more events (Free Rapid HIV Testing, Career Fairs, etc.) during the evening. Simply because co-op students cannot be on campus from nine to five does not mean they do not want to be engaged and active within the campus community. I do not wish to compare the difficulties of co-op students to more serious accessibility issues affecting students at the U of O, but make no mistake about it: this is an issue of accessibility. A coop student is still a paying student, and paying students deserve access to the services they have no choice but to fund.

Distractions

Sarah Leavitt Features Editor [email protected]

March 19–25, 2009

Dear Di

22

If you have a question for Di, email [email protected].

Dear Di, A friend of a friend of mine wants to know if, when having intercourse, one should change condoms when switching from coitus to anal sex, and vice versa. Is it safe for a girl to give head with the same condom used in her va-jay-jay? —Condom Clumsy sudoku answers on p. 20

Dear CC, I’m going to give you the Coles Notes version. It’s safe to switch from coitus to anal using the same condom, but never ever use the same condom when switching from anal to coitus, as anal sex can weaken the condom and switching from the bum to the vag can lead to some nasty bacterial infections. You can go for a slurpie after his condom-clad pecker has been inside you, but I feel that changing the condom is always a good idea. As my mother once told me: “Condoms are cheap, darling, so buy in bulk.” Love, Di Dear Di, My girlfriend and I have been dating for over seven years. We’re both Master’s students in our final year and we’ve been talking about settling down together. I’m thinking about proposing to her on the night of our commencement. Now she may seem reserved on the outside, but when the lights go out, she turns into a filthy freak. We’ve

done everything in the bedroom from whips and chains to rim jobs, and even shitting on each other. She goes absolutely nuts when I shit on her chest. So I was thinking on the night of our commencement, I would swallow the engagement ring, and then shit it out onto her chest later on during foreplay. Since I only get one chance to do this right, I want to be absolutely sure that this is appropriate. Di, do you think she would appreciate this gesture, or am I shit out of luck? (No pun intended.) —Neumann Dear N, Working as a sex columnist, you develop a sixth sense for fake questions. I’ve gotten several of them this year, but this one is the outright winner (loser?) for its unparalleled creativity. I just don’t understand why some students take the time out of their days to write to me with clearly fake questions. Stop polluting my inbox! In the extremely unlikely case that this is a real question and this proposal actually crossed your mind, N, my answer is this: she would absolutely not appreciate your ‘gesture’. Instead, propose to her in a fancy seafood restaurant and, with the help of the kitchen staff, hide the ring in one of her clams. Love, Di

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Saturday, March 21 Go-Green Exposition. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Lansdowne Park, Aberdeen Pavilion. 1015 Bank St. Free. CRUDE CONTENT, SEXUAL CONTENT, COARSE LANGUAGE

STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 20

Dear Di, Socks on or off during sex? (This is a big thing with me; I can’t enjoy sex with my socks on, no matter how cold my feet are.) —Sox Ain’t Sexy Dear SAS, Cold feet are a problem for me too! Although leaving some clothes on during intercourse can be hella sexy, that doesn’t necessarily apply to socks. But there’s hope! Incorporating these little personal fetishes into play sessions can actually make for some incredible experiences. Next time your frigid tootsies are ruining the striptease, ask for a foot rub (your lover will oblige as long as you promise to return the favour wherever he or she feels a need for a massage). If you’re really lucky he or she might even suck on your toes, which is not only a quick way to warm ‘em up but also very sensual (if you know things are going to get steamy, please make sure you give those feet a scrubbing beforehand). This kind of stimulation will warm up your toes, relax you, and probably lead to some kissing and licking elsewhere. Try it! Love, Di

Sunday, March 22 Film: Examined Life. 8:45 p.m. ByTowne Cinema. 325 Rideau St. $9, $6 for members.

Monday, March 23 Roundtable: Millennium Villages. 6 p.m. Café Alternatif. Free.

Tuesday, March 24 Discover Indonesia. 6 p.m. Indonesian Embassy. 55 Parkdale Ave. Free.

Wednesday, March 25 Concert: Kevin James on the baroque violin. 12:15 p.m. First Baptist Church. 140 Laurier Ave. W. $5.

Editorial

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Frank Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] March 19–25, 2009

23

Laying waste to integrity

In the NBC page program since 1942. Volume 69 - Issue 25 March 19–25, 2009 phone: (613) 562-5261 fax: (613) 562-5259 631 King Edward Ave. Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5 [email protected] www.thefulcrum.ca Recycle this paper or you’ll be cast off MILF island.

Staff Frank ‘jack donaghy’ Appleyard Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Ben ‘greenzo’ Myers Production Manager [email protected] Michael ‘devon banks’ Olender Executive Editor [email protected] Martha ‘nertz’ Pearce Art Director [email protected] Emma ‘lutz’ Godmere News Editor [email protected]

“If a member has a direct personal or pecuniary (monetary) interest in a motion under consideration not common to other members ... [s]he should not vote on such a motion, but ... cannot be compelled to refrain from voting.” Robert’s Rules of Order

Peter ‘ridikolous’ Henderson Arts & Culture Editor [email protected] David ‘dr. leo spaceman’ McClelland Sports Editor [email protected]

Sarah ‘liz lemon’ Leavitt Features Editor [email protected] Danielle ‘grizz’ Blab Laurel ‘dot-com’ Hogan Copy Editors Amanda ‘floyd’ Shendruk Associate News Editor [email protected] James ‘don geiss’ Edwards Webmaster [email protected] Jessica ‘synergy’ Sukstorf Volunteer & Visibility Coordinator [email protected] Megan ‘c.l.a.s.s.’ O’Meara Staff Writer Alex ‘l.u.n.c.h.’ Martin Staff Illustrator Inari ‘six sigma’ Vaissi Nagy Jiselle ‘teamwork’ Bakker Ombudsgirls [email protected] Travis ‘insight’ Boisvenue Ombudsboy [email protected]

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HE MARCH 13 meeting of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) Board of Administration (BOA) can be described as little more than an assault on ethics, honour, and integrity. For the first time in recent weeks, the continuing saga of the Student Arbitration Committee (SAC) appeal of the 2009–10 SFUO executive elections was overshadowed by something far more insidious—a blatantly exploited conflict of interests within the SFUO’s highest governing body. The motion before the BOA addressing how the SAC should proceed with hearing the now-stalled election appeal was a veritable minefield of controversy, as several BOA directors including current VP University Affairs Seamus Wolfe, VP Communications Julie Séguin, and VP Finance Roxanne Dubois are embroiled in the appeal to differing extents, and thus had a vested interest in the decision to be made. Many of the directors at the BOA table deserve credit for recognizing their conflicts of interest and abstaining from voting on the motion. However, Wolfe, Séguin, and Dubois—all defendants in the appeal—instead disregarded their own indisputable conflict of interest and ducked every expectation of trust placed in elected officials by voting on the motion.

Robert’s Rules of Order—guidelines used by the SFUO and corporations across the world to govern meetings—state that “if a member has a direct personal or pecuniary (monetary) interest in a motion under consideration not common to other members ... [s]he should not vote on such a motion, but ... cannot be compelled to refrain from voting.” It would be difficult to identify a situation in which a more glaring conflict of interests has existed at the BOA, as all three held the power to vote on the process they will now face in their appeal. And while there was no way to mandate that Wolfe, Séguin, and Dubois abstain from voting on the motion despite their clear interest in its result, one would expect that ethics and decency would prevail among the leaders of a multi-million dollar corporation. But apparently relying on these values alone is not enough to ensure that student leaders act honourably when their political futures are at stake. Their decision to vote—regardless of how it is rationalized—came off as nothing more than an abuse of power. The SFUO has a similarly non-binding conflict of interest policy for members of the BOA. As such, its authority is dependant on the integrity and ethical behaviour of each and every director. U of O students should expect such conduct as the bare

minimum from their elected leaders—and if these expectations cannot be satisifed, then such individuals have no business at the head of the organization. The only plausible explanations for the three SFUO executives’ actions are that they either felt that they weren’t in a conflict of interest, or were aware of the conflict but voted regardless, flaunting the SFUO’s policy. Neither apparent option is particularly appealing; incompetence and malice should never be the sole choices available to describe elected representatives’ motives. Simply put, U of O students deserve better than the display put on by the three executives, and the voices now demanding better in a petition to impeach the trio from their current positions are justified—although the simultaneous move to impeach SFUO President Dean Haldenby, VP Student Affairs Danika Brisson and VP Social Joël Larose is unfounded. In all, Wolfe, Séguin, and Dubois flouted the principles of responsible leadership and integrity by refusing to abstain from voting on an issue in which all three have a personal interest. Although cries of ‘shame’ have been heard all too frequently in U of O political circles this year, the word has never been more fitting than in this case. [email protected]

Nicole ‘brutality’ Gall Staff Proofreader

Contributors

Robert ‘male enhacement’ Olender On-campus Distributor Deidre ‘handshakefulness’ Butters Advertising Representative [email protected] Ross ‘play hard’ Prusakowski Business Manager [email protected]

Dave ‘i want to go to there’ Atkinson Julian ‘ludachristmas’ Blizzard Laura ‘blerg’ Clementson Joël ‘jenna maroney’ Côté-Cright Katie ‘hollow bones’ DeClerq

Chelsea ‘werewolf bar mitzva’ Edgell Kristyn ‘samesung’ Filip Hisham ‘dennis duffy’ Kelati Danyal ‘page-off’ Khoral Muse ‘gavin volure’ Mohammed

Nick ‘pete hornberger’ Rudiak Len ‘cooter burger’ Smirnov Alex ‘kenneth parcell’ Smyth

Cover by Martha Pearce