First Contact-part Two-chapter17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN EXTINCTION ‘And lo,’ Pater Aurelius said evangelically. ‘The Lord did sayeth that “thou should go fourth, into the wilds and bring back that which is contained within the metal cylinders. That, which holy concoction I have deemed fit to provide thee with. The most holy of beverages, and unto the hands of my clerics shalt these gifts be given”.’ ‘Why don’t you just say you want another beer?!’ Richy snapped testily. ‘I want one too!’ Pun spoke up. ‘Good,’ Richy nodded. ‘You can get one for Pater while you’re going … and one for me too.’ ‘But,’ Pun said dismally. ‘I’m the star. I don’t go for the beers. The beers are brought to me. Attention is brought to me! WHY IS NOBODY PAYING ME ANY ATTENTION?!’ ‘I AM paying you attention,’ Richy replied smartly. ‘I’m looking at you, talking to you and telling you to go and get us another round of drinks. The people behind the bar will give you attention while you’re there and so will we when you bring back the booze. Now, get going.’ ‘You’re sure they will give me attention?’ Pun quibbled. ‘GO!’ Richy thundered, ushering Pun off into the crowds of The Mercury Rooms. ‘Wouldst thou consider it beneficial, were we to relocate elsewhere in his absence?’ Pater said slyly. ‘You mean, ditch him?’ Richy mulled. ‘Indeed.’ ‘That’s the first sensible thing you’ve ever said,’ Richy winked, getting to his feet and marching off on a random heading into one of the Off-Topic Rooms. Pater was pleased at the compliment and made his own path through the scores of people around him. He was about to brush through a group of chattering teenagers into one of the rooms when a hand grasped his arm. He followed the white-clad appendage to its owner, a pale skinned, tall woman with black hair who raised an eyebrow at him. ‘YOU ARE A PRIEST?’ She asked in an otherworldly voice that made Pater tremble. ‘I am a man of the cloth, yes,’ Pater replied. ‘A REAL ONE?’ She demanded of him. ‘IF YOU WERE TO PRESIDE OVER A CHRISTENING OR A FUNERAL OR A … MARRIAGE … IT WOULD BE OFFICIAL? LEGALLY BINDING? REAL?’ ‘It would,’ Pater nodded. ‘Though at times, my quotes from the good book may be fictitious, my credentials are not.’ ‘YOU DO REALIZE,’ the woman said, licking her lips. ‘THAT IF YOU’RE LYING, AND I FIND OUT … WHICH I WIL … I’LL TEAR OUT YOUR STOMACH AND SQUEEZE YOUR DIGESTIVE ACIDS INTO YOUR FACE … UNDERSTAND?’ ‘Madame,’ Pater said briskly. ‘My word is my bond. I speak the truth to you.’ ‘GOOD,’ Elysium said happily. ‘YOU’LL DO!’ *** ‘What was that?’ Sinnox hissed in alarm. ‘A HUMAN HATCHLING!’ Tannakus cried. ‘If he warns his people we are finished!’ Sinnox growled as the pair set off over the bricks in pursuit. ‘ALERT THE GUARDS CORPORAL! HE MUST NOT GET AWAY!’ The two aliens scrambled up the bricks in order to chase the young human who might undo their plans. They reached the top and found themselves being hurtled back by a huge pulse of energy that sent them careening to the floor, scattering a group of pigeons that had been mulling around the yard. The alien’s invisibility suits failed and shorted out as they recollected themselves and locked eyes with the one who had attacked them. A tall man with curly blonde hair in a long red velvet coat held out a Plasma Cannon in front of him. He narrowed his eyes are their shapeless doughy forms and sneered.

‘I should have known,’ he growled. ‘As if a treaty spanning this entire Galaxy is going to be adhered to by the Great and Powerful Crouton Empire. Ponsing around in your invisibility suits waging war on the Sultanas, never caring which planet you invade and destroy in the process. What are you after this time? The resources? Slaves? The Strategic positioning of the planet? All of the above? Or is this just a convenient weekend-getaway for the Officers?’ ‘HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE IN OUR AFFAIRS!’ Grand Martial Sinnox thundered. ‘Quite easily,’ the blonde man in the red coat snapped. ‘It’s what I’m her for … now, I’ll give you one chance … one chance to pack up your things and leave Earth forever in peace without any violence.’ ‘Or what?’ Tannakus scoffed. The blonde man’s eyes blazed at them as he raised his weapon in the Crouton’s direction. ‘Or I’ll make you,’ he said. ‘…Violently …’ ‘You and what army?’ Sinnox thundered. ‘I don’t need an army,’ the man snapped back. ‘I’m here to stop you, just like I stopped the Darlin’s, just like I stopped the Cidermen, the Sultanas and even the De-icer Warriors … leave now, or be destroyed. Earth is off limits.’ ‘Says who?’ Tannakus clucked. ‘Says me,’ the man in the Red Velvet Coat said grimly. ‘And you are?’ Sinnox puffed haughtily. ‘Me?’ the man in the Red Velvet Coat shrugged, cocking the Plasma Cannon. ‘I’m The Dr.!’ *** ‘Oh, hello again!’ Freaka-chu – pursued closely by Red – followed Totoro into a gap in the crowd and watched as he greeted a friendly talking Television with arms that seemed to be hoarding a selection of snacks from the buffet table. ‘It’s nice to run into you again, Totoro,’ the face on the Television screen said airily with a warm smile. ‘Seems like only yesterday you were escaping from the World of Warcraft. I trust all went well in that department?’ ‘Everything concluded in a preferable way,’ Totoro nodded. ‘Yes,’ the Television said. ‘Nasty business that. Still, not as exciting as what’s been going on lately. I’ve never been so busy … oh, hello!’ The Television had spotted Freaka-chu and Red. ‘Hmmm,’ the Television said, rubbing the place where his chin would be if he had one with a gloved hand. ‘Stuart Vasey,’ he said, snapping his fingers. ‘I thought I recognized you. Formerly of the Police Force, forcibly suspended pending further investigation over matters that still remain inconclusive.’ ‘How the hell did you know that?’ Red asked angrily. ‘Have you been spying on me or something?’ ‘Calm yourself, Red,’ Totoro said, placing a hand on Red’s shoulder. ‘This is Yuiop.’ ‘Yuiop?’ Red frowned. ‘Never heard of you.’ ‘And that’s the way I’d like it to remain, but sadly, things are never as we would like them these days,’ Yuiop clucked. ‘And to answer your question, no, I haven’t been spying on you … well … I suppose it’s how you look at it. In a way, I guess I spy on everybody … I am a Galactic Observer.’ ‘A what?’ Red frowned. ‘A Galactic Observer,’ Freaka-chu nodded. ‘They watch everything that goes on as it happens and record it all. Just in case anybody ever wants to know how, when, where or why things happen.’ ‘That’s right,’ Yuiop said. ‘But you … I don’t think I know who you are.’ ‘It’s a running theme,’ Freaka-chu nodded. ‘I haven’t got a clue either.’ ‘That can’t be right,’ Yuiop frowned, thinking hard. ‘There’s no way that somebody exists that I don’t know about …’ ‘Maybe you were observing in another direction,’ Red shrugged.

‘Either that or you were on a coffee break or something.’ Freaka-chu added, shaking the Television’s hand. ‘I’m Freaka-chu … well … for the moment I am anyhow … until I figure out who I really am, anyway.’ ‘Hmmm,’ Yuiop pondered. ‘Interesting. It’s rare I meet somebody I’ve never observed before.’ ‘So … you’re like … a massive … Universal peeping Tom?!’ Red spluttered. ‘It’s more complicated than that,’ Freaka-chu interjected. ‘And it’s much less sinister. They only watch. They don’t interfere … so I suppose somewhere like The Mercury Rooms must be perfect for you.’ ‘You’ve got that right, mate,’ Yuiop nodded. ‘It came at a hefty price, but I can’t say the moment hasn’t been built upon in the best way possible.’ ‘A hefty price?’ Totoro questioned. Yuiop nodded sagely. ‘Not many people know of what has occurred,’ he said solemnly. ‘But in order for this place to exist at all, an entire race had to become extinct.’ ‘What?’ Red frowned. ‘You mean Fink and the others went around killing an entire race in order to build The Mercury Rooms?’ ‘PFFT!’ Yuiop puffed. ‘Not at all. The Administrators here were actually in danger of being imprisoned and having criminal proceedings brought against their associates. No, it was merely the death of this race that gave the Administrators here the chance to realize the dream and built what you see before you.’ ‘And who might they be then?’ Freaka-chu asked quizzically with a look of alarm on his face. ‘What race had to become extinct?’ Yuiop supped a large mouthful of his drink and seated himself on a cushion before he said, with a sigh. ‘The Video Lords …’ *** ‘Well?’ Dodge’s head snapped up as The Dr. returned to his ship and stepped through the hatchway. His leather shoes clanking down the metal walkway towards the centre of the cavernous room that was the command centre for the entire craft. ‘How did it go?’ Dodge questioned, twisting his knee-length pony tail between his fingers anxiously. ‘We came to an agreement,’ The Dr. said without looking up at his companions as he began to adjust the controls on the panels before him. ‘Well, I’m glad to hear that,’ Watson said from a chair that was mounted to the outlying security rail, throwing down the book she had been trying to read, but failing miserably through worry. ‘Are the Croutons leaving Earth alone? What agreement did you come to?’ The Dr. looked up, brushing his curly blonde hair out of his eyes and shrugged, placing his Plasma Cannon on the console next to him. ‘I shot bullets … they hit the Croutons … simple arrangement really.’ ‘DR.!’ Watson shouted angrily. ‘You said you wouldn’t kill them!’ ‘I said I’d do everything in my power to prevent a situation arising where it would be necessary for me to take lethal action,’ The Dr. replied. ‘I’ve got it on tape if you want to hear it. I was very specific.’ ‘Yes,’ Watson said bitterly. ‘Now I know why.’ ‘Hey,’ The Dr. said, looking up at her adamantly. ‘If there was another way. I would have done it. I didn’t kill them for the fun of it y’know.’ ‘Sometimes I wonder,’ Watson retorted. ‘Harsh, Jayne,’ Dodge observed as he put his feet up on the security rail. ‘I know you did what was best, Doc,’ he said, winking. ‘Great,’ The Dr. replied with a forced smile. ‘Now I feel much better about it.’ ‘So, where to next then?’ Watson asked, getting up from here chair, giving Dodge’s feet a wide birth as she circled around the control panel to stand by The Dr. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ The Dr. shrugged. ‘It all depends on where the randomizer drops us … and whether the old girl’s still working properly. She’s never been the same since we were on the Titanic.’ ‘You mean since we had to paddle this thing all the way to New York?’ Dodge snorted. ‘I’ve never worked properly since then either. My toes were blue for a week.’

‘Ewe,’ Watson cringed. ‘Why does everything have to be about your feet Kit?’ This got The Dr. chuckling as he sat back in a chair with that expression on his face that Watson knew would mean that she would forgive him. That face always won her over. She knew he would have had no other choice in the matter of the Croutons, but it was him she was worried about most. The Dr. hated killing anybody and it had become the only option far too many times. It had to be affecting him more than he allowed them to see. Watson’s attention was pulled away as a large blue light on the console began to pulse at them. She had always assumed it was a bolt or something as it had never illuminated before. The Dr.’s face fell when he saw it. That meant nothing good. ‘What is it, Dr.?’ Watson asked as the Video Lord rose from his chair and slumped over the console, holding his head in his hands as he peered disdainfully at the blue light. ‘Not now!’ He hissed. ‘NOT NOW!’ ‘What’s wrong?’ Dodge asked, leaping out of his seat. ‘We gonna see action this time?’ ‘I’ve got to drop you off,’ The Dr. said suddenly. ‘Both of you.’ ‘You have to what?’ Watson thundered. ‘You only just caught up with us again!’ ‘It’s complicated,’ The Dr. replied. ‘EVERYTHING IS COMPLICATED WITH YOU, DR.!’ Watson thundered. ‘Make it simple then! What’s going on?’ ‘It’s the call of my people,’ The Dr. sighed as he twisted levers and pressed buttons. ‘I have to return to Betamax. I’ve got to go home.’ ‘I thought you weren’t allowed,’ Dodge frowned. ‘I thought you were exiled.’ ‘Apparently not anymore,’ The Dr. replied hastily as he jammed the largest of all the levers into place, illuminating the central glass column that rose up out of the hexagonal control desk before him. ‘Which is why I have to answer it. This could be my chance of going home. My only chance.’ ‘So, why have you got to drop us off?’ Watson asked incredulously. ‘Sorry,’ The Dr. replied. ‘Only Video Lords are allowed to set foot on the home world. I’d be shot on sight if I brought humans with me.’ ‘You could always say that we’re Video Lords too,’ Dodge offered. ‘I’ll go put on some stupid-ass outfit. They’ll never know the difference.’ ‘They’d know,’ The Dr. said as the time rotor before him whirred into life. ‘I’ve got to take you home while I deal with this.’ ‘And then you’ll come right back and get us?’ Watson added sternly. The Dr. caught her gaze and gave a brief nod. ‘As soon as I can.’ ‘PROMISE!’ ‘I promise,’ The Dr. said quietly. ‘I promise.’ ‘You can’t take me home!’ Dodge spoke up quickly. ‘Not back to where you guys found me. I’m not going back to that place! You said I would never have to go back!’ ‘You don’t have to go back,’ Watson said delicately. ‘I’ve got room for you at home.’ ‘Thanks,’ Dodge said awkwardly. ‘Good, Now then. I’ll set you both down at Watson’s place and then go see what my highand-mighty can’t do without my help,’ The Dr. said. ‘I mean … what can they possibly want me for? I’m already endlessly patrolling the Universe, righting wrongs and fixing everything from Cidermen Invasions to cats in trees … I shouldn’t be long.’ ‘That’s what you said the last time you dropped us off,’ Dodge said with a guilty look at having brought it up. ‘This is different,’ The Dr. said forcefully. ‘Really, it’s a completely different ball game … what’s the worst that could happen?’ *** ‘They all died,’ Yuiop continued. ‘Every single one of them was wiped out, and by their own doing as well. They brought it on themselves. The war lasted thousands of years and it was brought to a close in one, swift, decisive swipe.’

‘The Video Lords …’ Totoro said thoughtfully. ‘They were the ones who took every Video that was ever made to the beginning of the Universe where nobody could get to them, correct?’ ‘Very correct,’ Yuiop nodded. ‘But they were under orders from Raljex. The so-called first and Supreme Being. That was a time before my people. Before we began to observe. But that plan all went to hell when a bunch of their own kind broke into the vaults and sent all the Videos back to where they came from. Though, that’s not how they were all wiped out.’ ‘What happened to them then?’ Freaka-chu cut in sharply. ‘How did they die?’ *** ‘At last we meet agin,’ Cerellia said with a sigh of relief as The Dr. entered the Grand Meeting Hall deep within the bowels of The Video Lord Citadel. The High Chancellor greeted the Dr. warmly and offered him a chair. ‘I’m sure you’ll get around to telling me why I’m here before the next Ice Age,’ The Dr. said with a sigh. ‘I’ve been your … guest for over a day now and I still haven’t been told why you summoned me.’ Cerellia straightened herself and took up one of the quaint cups of tea that sat on a silver tray between them. ‘I heard that you met up with Aluicius Erikessel again,’ she said briskly. ‘Is that the name he’s going by now?’ The Dr. said, gripping the arms of his chair tightly. ‘He was leeching the life force of people on Earth. I chased him off, but he escaped capture.’ ‘He did not escape,’ Cerellia shrugged. ‘We arrested him shortly after your encounter with him.’ ‘He’s been terminated then?’ The Dr. asked quickly. ‘He cannot be allowed to live! The Manager is far too dangerous.’ ‘Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you, Dr.,’ Cerellia said sternly. ‘But we need him just as much as we need you. We are at war,’ Cerellia said abruptly. ‘The whole of the Video Lord race is at war.’ ‘With who?’ The Dr. frowned. He knew how many enemies there were out there, but none he could think of that could mount an assault against the Video Lords themselves. ‘Who are we fighting?’ Cerellia sighed and looked up at him. ‘This is why we needed you, Dr., not just because we’re pulling in every single one of our people to join the fight … you at least have managed to defeat our enemy before … Aluicius has had dealings with them also. We need your knowledge in order to defeat them.’ ‘WHO?!’ The Dr. snapped angrily. ‘We’re at war,’ Cerellia said grimly. ‘With the Darlin’s …’ *** ‘Darlin’s?’ Red frowned. ‘What on Earth are Darlin’s?’ ‘The most evil and unstoppable race in the Universe,’ Yuiop replied simply. ‘Imagine an army of massive, single-minded, merciless, emotionless pepper pots with big guns, mono-tone voices and anger-management issues. Literally millions upon millions of them. They came out of nowhere. Before they had been just another idle threat interfering with the smooth running of things from time to time. But, somehow, they got hold of time travel technology and amassed an army at the end of the Universe in the deepest part of space. ‘Then, in an instant, they appeared en-mass and set about conquering the Universe. The Video Lords were the only ones powerful enough to even hope of stopping them. But the Darlin’ forces were just too numerous. So many planets were wiped out in the process, so many other races that will never again see the light of day. The Darlin’s were unstoppable. So The Video Lords built a bomb. A giant bomb and set it off in the middle of the final battle. All of them were destroyed, on both sides. Nobody won.

‘But,’ Yuiop said brightly. ‘Even though an entire race had to die to achieve it, we’re all now free to have places like The Mercury Rooms. There are no more rules about what we do with Videos.’ ‘Nobody to protect us from all the other evils out there,’ Totoro commented. ‘Yeah,’ Yuiop said thoughtfully. ‘That too.’ Freaka-chu was suddenly on his feet. ‘I’ve got to go back to Dailymotion,’ he said frantically, running a hand through his hair. ‘I’ve got a horrible, horrible feeling that I’m …’ he trailed off as he raced away into the crowd. ‘OI!’ Red shouted, tearing off after him. ‘Well,’ Yuiop shrugged. ‘Wonder what lit a fire under him.’ Freaka-chu pushed and ducked his way through the Allucian crowd. Sweat trickled down his forehead as several horrible realizations struck him. All he had now was the hope that he was mistaken, and what memories were lurking in his subconscious, bristling tentatively at the surface of his mind were not what he thought they were. He could hear Red calling after him, he seemed to have a real problem with Freaka-chu, all because of this stupid, over-sized coat he had on. It was a little harsh to go after somebody because of the way they dressed – what was this? Galgamax Nine? – He found himself laughing at that, but he had absolutely no idea what it meant. It was incredibly frustrating to know limitless things on limitless subjects but to have no clue whatsoever about whom he was. ‘FREAKA-CHU!’ Freaka-chu found his arm being grabbed by Elysium who pulled him to one side just before he reached the Exit Portal. ‘LEAVING ALREADY?’ She enquired. ‘Please, Elysium,’ he said quickly. ‘Allow me to leave. I have to get back to Dailymotion.’ ‘DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?’ she asked ponderously. ‘I’ll find it,’ Freaka-chu replied, trying to convince himself more than her. ‘But I’ve got to go!’ ‘OH, YOU CAN, YOU CAN!’ Elysium insisted. ‘BUT PLEASE, SPARE ME ONE MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.’ ‘For what?’ Freaka-chu asked breathlessly. He was dimly aware of a man who looked like a Priest muttering something beside him. ‘I ONLY NEED YOU TO ANSWER ME TWO QUESTIONS,’ she said. ‘TWO SIMPLE RIDDLES FREAKA-CHU AND THEN YOU CAN GO. I SHALL NOT TROUBLE YOU FURTHER.’ ‘What riddles?’ Freaka-chu asked suspiciously. ‘TELL ME,’ she said airily. ‘WHAT IS THE COMMON, NON-SCIENTIFIC NAME FOR THIS PART OF THE BODY?’ She pointed to her eye. ‘Erm … the Eye,’ Freaka-chu responded. ‘GOOD,’ Elysium said quietly. ‘NOW, TELL ME. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU BE LEFT WITH IF YOU WERE TO REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS EXCEPT THE FIRST TWO FROM THE NAME GIVEN TO A PERSON WHO’S JOB IT IS TO HEAL SICK PEOPLE?’ Freaka-chu waved his hand. ‘Do,’ he said, subtracting the latter half of “Doctor”. ‘HE SAID IT! HE SAID EYE-DO!’ Elysium said giddily, turning to Pater Aurelius who nodded at her. ‘And do you, Elysium, Supreme Sorceress of the Seventh Dimensions, Queen of the Celestial Kingdoms, Ruler of The Forbidden Zone, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?’ ‘WHAT?!’ Freaka-chu exclaimed, flabbergasted. ‘I DO!’ Elysium said quickly. ‘WHAT?! Freaka-chu said louder. ‘Then, by the power vested in me by Ordainyou-dot-net, I now pronounce you husband and wife.’ ‘WHAT?!’ Freaka-chu screamed. ‘You’re married,’ Pater said plainly. ‘Kiss her.’

‘YOU WERE SPECTACULAR,’ Elysium said, grasping Freaka-chu by his collar and kissing him. ‘I’M FREE!’ She shouted giddily. ‘HA! NOW I NEVER HAVE TO GO BACK TO MY HOME DIMENSION! THANKS DARLING! I’M AFRAID THERE’S NOT GOING TO BE A HONEYMOON, AND FEEL FREE TO HAVE THE FIRST DANCE AND CUT THE CAKE WITHOUT ME! I’LL SEE YOU AROUND!’ she grinned widely at him and danced away into the crowds. ‘WHAT?!’ Freaka-chu said dully. ‘Wow,’ Red said, nodding slightly. ‘You just got owned.’ ‘Congratulations,’ Pater Aurelius said, snapping his bible shut. ‘I think you’ll make an excellent couple.’ ‘I … uhmm …’ Freaka-chu spluttered. ‘Wow … uhmm … I’ve got to … go.’ He made his way unsteadily out of an Exit Portal. Red shared a smirk with Pater as he followed Freaka-chu off into the Internet. * ‘Wha-what are you doing?!’ Tommy exclaimed as the tall man pinned him up against the wall. ‘You are a Video thief!’ the man replied, his dark green eyes boring into Tommy as he held the boy off the floor. ‘You’ve been very naughty.’ ‘Please!’ Tommy begged. ‘I didn’t know! Everybody’s doing it! I’m sorry!’ ‘No …’ the man replied calmly. ‘Not yet. But you will be. I’ll make sure of it.’ ‘DON’T HURT ME! PLEASE!’ Tommy said, struggling to be free of the man’s grip without success. ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Buster replied with an evil smirk as he leered at Tommy. ‘This won’t hurt one little bit … at least … I don’t think it will.’ He allowed a low, rumbling laugh to growl from his throat as the irises of his eyes flashed blue and Tommy’s consciousness disappeared completely. Tommy’s body looked up at Buster and smiled. ‘Go to the others,’ Buster said. ‘We are nearly strong enough to destroy them.’ ‘We will need more than just humans,’ Tommy’s body replied. ‘They are weak. So fragile. They have the Martian and others with abilities, some even more powerful.’ ‘It’s under control,’ Buster said with a maniacal grin. ‘I know it is,’ Tommy said. ‘I used to be you … but we must hurry. The Video thieves grow in number. Soon, there will be too many for us to deal with in this manner.’ ‘Not for long,’ Buster cackled. ‘Not for long.’ * ‘MARRIED!’ Freaka-chu exploded as he marched through the main entrance of Dailymotion. ‘I can’t be married!’ He had been repeating the same thing over and over to himself all the way to the hosting site. He had forgotten that Red was following him. ‘I can’t be married! I don’t even know the woman! And PLUS! I never said “I DO”! I said “EYE-DO”! Surely, that can’t count … can it?’ He spun on his heels and addressed Red. ‘I think it counts,’ Red shrugged. ‘Sounds the same.’ ‘But its not!’ Freaka-chu glowered and resumed his marching. They turned down the corridor and sprinted to the stairs that led to Room Fifty-Eight. The lights were still dim as they approached the room. Freaka-chu opened the door without hesitation and revealed the darkness within. The red post box sat there, just where they had left it. ‘You came all this way to post a letter?’ Red frowned. ‘We’re on the Internet! You could have sent an email!’ ‘Well, you go and do that then,’ Freaka-chu replied, fishing around in his pockets and producing a set of keys which he began sizing up with the lock on the front of the hatch set into the post box. ‘This isn’t what it seems … at least … I don’t think it is.’ ‘You just get weirder and weirder don’t you?’ Red frowned.

‘Yes,’ Freaka-chu replied as he pulled open the doorway and stepped through into the post box. ‘What the hell are you … doing … now? …’ Red frowned as he peered through the door. ‘Holy shit.’ He added. ‘Holy fucking shit!’ Red had expected to see Freaka-chu cramped into the tiny confines of the post box. But that’s not what he saw. The inside of the column was giant, cavernous. It was a room bigger than any other room that he had ever seen. A bridge from the doorway led over a chasm filled with swirling green and blue energy that reflected off the machinery around which it coiled. A large, circular raised platform sat atop the complex mechanisms below. The outer edges were filled with cosy chairs, tables, bookshelves, cabinets and a whole manner of things, while in the very centre, surrounded by a security rail, there was a hexagonal structure covered in more buttons, levers, switches, knobs, dials and data readout screens than Red had ever seen in his life. The machinery looked just too complicated to fathom. Out of the raised middle of the control panel, a glass column full of jagged green crystals rose up to the ceiling and disappeared into another mass of complex devices. Four giant screens that had to be verging on two-hundred inches or more donned the far wall, intersected by doorways that showed differently decorated corridors leading off to goodness knows where. ‘It’s bigger on the inside,’ Freaka-chu suggested to Red. ‘Wouldn’t you say so?’ Red found himself nodding silently. ‘THIS IS EMERGENCY PROTOCAL ALPHA-ALPHA-DELTA,’ without knowing what had happened, Red span around to see a shimmering hologram of a tall man with curly blonde hair dressed in a Red Velvet Coat. ‘That’s him!’ Red said, clenching his fists. ‘DNA SCANS COMMENCING,’ the hologram of the man said as a pale blue beam danced over Red and Freaka-chu from hundreds of different places all around the consoles. The hologram waited patiently until the beams had gone before he spoke again. ‘DNA MATCH AQUIRED,’ he declared and turned to Freaka-chu, addressing him directly. ‘If you’re watching this recording, then it means that the war ended the way I always knew it would and I have died. If I somehow manage to Degenerate, then I estimate that the radiation from the bomb they’re planning to use is going to interfere with the process and its likely that you will loose your memory. If that’s the case, be thankful that it’s the only thing that you’ve lost.’ ‘I have lost my memory,’ Freaka-chu said. The hologram nodded in response. ‘It’s interactive,’ Freaka-ch whispered to Red out of the corner of his mouth. ‘If that is the case and you are currently suffering from amnesia, then the process of repairing the damage is a simple one.’ A small panel on the console opened and a device that looked like a visor rose up from the inner working, still attached by several fibre optic wires. ‘The visor will activate automatically when you put it on,’ the hologram said. ‘I trust you’ll be able to take it from there. I wish you luck … may you have more than I did.’ With that, the Hologram vanished. ‘NO!’ Red thundered as the blonde, curly haired man vanished. ‘WHO WAS HE! I’VE GOT TO KNOW!’ ‘Well,’ Freaka-chu said, placing the Visor on his face. ‘Let’s find out.’ *** The explosion was massive. No, massive wasn’t a big enough word. There wasn’t a word in existence to describe the magnitude of the blast that came from the device. The Video Lord’s best scientists had worked on the bomb for the better part of a century and it was time apparently well spent. There had been planets in this binary-star solar system. They were caught up in the blast too. It hadn’t been enough to simply destroy both fleets, the Video Lords wanted

to make sure that there would be absolutely no trace. No chance that there could be another Darlin’ fleet waiting on the outskirts of the system as they had done so many times before. As they had done this time. But their position was not far enough away from the site of detonation and they too were vaporized. Everything was destroyed. Everything that was caught in the shockwave was atomized in an instant. Nothing remained. Except one, tiny ship. A ship that had been so close to ground zero that the event horizon of the explosion had extended out several yards and engulfed the tiny ship within the eye of the storm. The small ship was hurtled off after the shockwave as the blast radius intensified, but its position meant that it was riding the wave rather than being obliterated by it. Such was the force of the bomb that the vessel was propelled out of the disaster area and into the iris of a black hole that had been slowly growing on the edge of the system. The Dr. scowled as he was tossed around the inside of his craft like a rag doll. The time conduits were righting themselves, they were fighting the effects of the distortions caused by the Black Hole as the RETARDIS was pulled down into the gravity funnel of the anomaly. The radiation ate through the shields and made The Dr. howl with pain as it burned him so completely. The engines of his craft wheezed into life and set about dematerializing the ship from its place in the danger zone. The Dr. was slammed into one of the walls, followed by chairs and a large cabinet that crushed whatever life was left within him. Then, The Dr. died. His head full of curly blonde hair fell limp to one side as the ship wheezed its way through the vortex it had created to safeguard its occupant. Too little too late it seemed. VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK! The engines shunted themselves as the RETARDIS shifted through both time and space to escape the disaster it was leaving behind. The machine’s automated functions cited a landing area in the first safe spot it could find. The radiation was dying away now as the central computer activated the purification cycle. The engines stirred and the vessel rematerialized. VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!

VROOOOOOOOOOK!

As the craft landed, the furniture that had been slung about fell to the floor with a crash. The Dr.’s dead body fell with it and landed in a heap as everything fell silent. Then The Dr. screamed. His head shot up as energy rippled through him. Energy from hidden stores in his cells surged through every fibre of his being. His burns healed, his broken organs regenerated as his bones and muscle structures righted themselves. Random DNA collected from another time in his life took precedent and The Dr. Degenerated. His personality was re-written, his appearance was renewed his whole life was wiped clean, ready to begin again. His hearts raced in his chest as he shot upright and screamed again. The radiation had affected his degeneration. It had prevented various stages from being fully accomplished. His memory was gone. He had no idea who he was or where he was as he found himself sitting against a metal door. Shakily, he grasped the handle and fell out of the craft into a darkened room, panting on the floor as the metal hatchway clunked shut behind him. He was aware of light coming from somewhere behind him as he tried desperately to prop himself up on his elbows and get to his feet. Soon though, his weakened state got the better of him and he fell back against the hull of his ship. ‘Hello?’ a voice came from a doorway across the room. The man who had been The Dr. several minutes before squinted at the light and ran a hand through his hair. He wheezed in a breath, puzzled and completely unaware of why every single part of him hurt so much. ‘Who’s there?’ the man who had been The Dr. asked, though he didn’t know any of that now. He was just … blank. ‘My name is Elion,’ the man in the doorway replied. ‘I came here for your help.’

*** Freaka-chu removed the visor slowly and set it down in its housing carefully. It retreated slowly back into the console and the small panel closed as it disappeared into the inner workings of the RETARDIS. ‘I know who I am,’ Freaka-ch said in a hushed whisper, turning to Red. He found it difficult to meet the man’s eyes. Now he knew why this man hated him so very much. Now he knew what he had done to deserve his wrath. It had been him that Red was after. He was The Dr. a Video Lord from the Planet Betamax. He was the last of his race alive. Twelve-thousand, eight hundred and one years old, and now, he was in his fourth incarnation. The Video Lords had thirteen lives. He had had three others before this one, and in his third life, The Dr. had done something terrible. The Dr. clenched his fists as he remembered the exchange that had first brought him into contact with Red. ‘I’m sorry,’ Freaka-chu said, finally looking Red in the face. ‘I’m so sorry.’