First Contact Part Three Chapter31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE *** Emperor Koth looked out across the Ocean from the command deck. Is beady eyes squinted as the icy wind blew across his face. Tonight was the night when he would take victory. He would take one of the iron whales and he would command it to do his bidding. He nodded to a minion at his left to start the engines. Tonight would be the night. *** ‘See you in hell,’ Buster grinned and kicked Will-ko savagely through the portal. The warmth of the portal would have been a welcome new edition to Will-ko’s world. The Forbidden Zone had been cold, just a few degrees below normal room temperature. Just enough to make it noticeably uncomfortable. The warmth was new and inviting, but what Fred had just said. What he had just done filled Will-ko with the most horrible feeling he could ever imagine. Something had happened to Fred. Something that Will-ko had no idea about where to begin on. He hadn’t really known Fred all that well. Separate isolation tanks in the lab and separate experiments meant that he didn’t know any of his fellow test subjects. Maybe Fred was just evil to start with. Or Buster whatever he was calling himself now. But whatever had gotten into him, Will-ko had a very, very bad feeling about what he was going to find on the other side of this portal. With good reason it turned out. *** The roar of the crowd was almost deafening. The docks were teaming with so many people that it was almost impossible to reach the gangplank that led up onto the giant ship. Who would have thought that so many people would make the trip simply to wave off a boat. It was borderline ludicrous. It had taken him all his time to drag her stupidly large trunk aboard. Apparently it was full of necessities. He didn’t think thirty-seven dresses was anything nearing necessity. They reached the top of the gangway. She was greeted with a nod and a smile by the steward. He was greeted by a look of shock, followed by a reproachful expression that said the man wanted to be as far away as possible right now. ‘Your ticket, madam?’ The Steward inquired of the lady. She produced two from her bag and handed them over. The Steward checked them against his ledger. ‘Miss Roxanne King,’ she said pleasantly. ‘Ah, yes,’ The Steward said, making a note in his ledger. He tried to hide his cringe as he turned his attention towards her companion. ‘And this is my man-servant,’ she smiled sweetly. ‘Mister McKellion.’ ‘Thank you, Miss King,’ The Steward said, moving aside to let them come aboard properly. He gave merely the frankest of nods to McKellion before he turned his attention back to the lady. ‘Welcome aboard The Titanic, Miss King.’ *** Will-ko hit the floor hard. His face slamming into the ground with enough force to knock the wind out of him.

‘We’re no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I,’ Coughing, Will-ko managed to roll over and look at the scene that surrounded him. He wasn’t too sure why Rick Astley’s face was staring down at him, singing. ‘A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of, You wouldn’t get this from any other guy,’ Will-ko sat up. The face was all around him, covering every wall of a large square room. A room that was full of people, most of them screaming. ‘MAKE IT STOP!’ Asawin cried from over in a corner where he was hammering on what looked like a door embedded in the wall. ‘FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY MAKE IT STOP!’ ‘I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, gotta make you understand,’ ‘MY GOD! MY GOD!’ Pater Aurelius was shrieking with his jacket pulled around his head to cover his ears. ‘WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?!’ ‘Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you,’ ‘What the hell is this?’ Skelifish asked sternly, standing over Will-ko. ‘Where did you send us?’ ‘I didn’t,’ Will-ko said, standing. ‘Fred tricked me, apparently he’s evil.’ ‘What?’ Guy Garner said, waving a hand. ‘That’s impossible, Fred’s not evil. I’d have been able to tell … … … who’s Fred by the way?’ ‘Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you,’ ‘What the hell is going on?!’ Wish demanded. ‘This is worse than the Forbidden Zone, and that’s saying something.’ ‘Will-ko!’ Will-ko was suddenly seized from behind by a large hand that pulled him into a one-armed embrace. ‘Totoro!’ Will-ko said happily hugging back. ‘Mate, what’s going on?’ ‘I am unsure,’ Totoro replied. ‘But we were tricked into accepting these,’ he held up one of the badges for them to see. Will-ko held up the one that Fred had given to him earlier. ‘We’ve known each other for so long, Your heart’s been aching, But you’re too shy to say it,’ ‘The badges seem to be Links to this room. So far, we have been unable to find an exit. It would appear to be quite a sophisticated trap. There is no way out and it seems its creator was a master in psychological torture.’ ‘Inside we both know what’s been going on, We know the game and we’re gonna play it,’ ‘That song has been playing continuously since I arrived yesterday. I admit, it is beginning to grate on my nerves,’ Totoro grunted. ‘MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!’ Gerrardinho screamed as he ran past in a state of hysteria. ‘The horror!’ Jodocroco was writhing on the ground already. ‘THE HORROR!’ ‘What about the door?’ Will-ko asked pointing to the very clear outline of a door in Rick Astley’s head on the far wall. ‘You are welcome to try it,’ Totoro shrugged. ‘I’ll handle this,’ CAD said, rolling up his sleeves. ‘I shall use my special powers if I have to.’ ‘CAD’s got special powers?’ Skelifish raised an eyebrow. ‘He’s got limited wrath,’ Wish nodded approvingly. ‘Limited wrath?’ Will-ko wrinkled his nose. ‘Yes,’ Wish replied unblinkingly. ‘Thus far it has proved to be an … interesting addition to our arsenal.’ ‘And if you ask me how I’m feeling, Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see,’ CAD approached the door and pulled on the handle. A small screen next to the door suddenly came to life displaying the message: WE’RE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE. CAD tried again, the message on the screen changed to: A FULL COMMITMENT’S WHAT I’M THINKING OF. ‘And if you ask me how I’m feeling, Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see,’ ‘It simply displays song lyrics randomly when anybody attempts to open the door,’ Totoro explained. ‘It would appear that we are truly trapped here.’ ‘Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you,’

There was a sudden flurry of angry shouting from the door where CAD was busy beating and kicking it in a display of unimaginable rage. It had no effect and the reason for the hissy fit was hard to discern. He seemed to be doing more damage to himself than to the door. ‘Limited Wrath?’ Will-ko grimaced. ‘Oh yes,’ Wish nodded approvingly. ‘Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you,’ ‘Riiiiiiiight,’ Skelifish said, steering Will-ko away. ‘We need a better plan than Limited Wrath.’ ‘And you’re coming to me?’ Will-ko frowned. ‘You got us here magic boy!’ Skelifish said through gritted teeth. ‘You can get us out again. Come on, make a portal or something!’ Skelifish thrust the pen at Will-ko expectantly. ‘Everybody got in here through a portal. There must be someway for you to get us back through one of them!’ ‘I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, Gotta make you understand,’ ‘Alright,’ Will-ko nodded. ‘I’ll give it a try.’ Yanwaell appeared at their elbow brandishing a card with Yoda on it. “DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.” ‘Yeah, thanks,’ Will-ko humphed closing his eyes and clutching the pen. ‘I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, Gotta make you understand,’ Will-ko tried to grasp the power inside him again. Just like he had done back in the Forbidden Zone. There was magic inside him and now he knew it was there. He just had to figure out how to make it do what he wanted instead of only doing what it felt like doing when it felt like doing it. ‘I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, Gotta make you understand,’ He tightened his grip on the pen, his makeshift wand and internally demanded that the power provide him with a way out. He gritted his teeth and inhaled deeply. A slight breeze passed over him, but he wasn’t certain if that was the magic or the breathing of the people who were packed in so close together all around him. VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK! The wind was beginning to howl now. Will-ko allowed a smile to creep onto his face. He was doing it, he was really doing it. That oscillating, grating noise all around must be his powers tearing open a portal in reality. Damn it he was a good magician. He never doubted himself for an instant. VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOK!

VROOOOOOOOOOK! Will-ko opened his eyes and was admittedly a little perplexed when he saw a post box sitting in the middle of the room. *** The stars twinkled as evening descended. This was good, the Emperor’s craft was gaining speed all the time. He would crush the largest iron whale he could find and take it as his own. Such was his right. He was Emperor afterall. Koth adjusted his crown and glared out across the ocean. Tonight was indeed the night. *** ‘Right then, who’s left?’ Freaka-chu asked impatiently as the last of the room’s prisoners scrambled through the metal hatch and into the thankfully limitless interior of The RETARDIS. ‘I dunno,’ Red shrugged. ‘When Fred came in with his army, he threw a badge at Danny. So once he gets here-’ ‘I’m stood right beside you,’ Danny said shortly in Red’s ear. ‘Oh,’ Red said, tisking to himself. ‘Well then, that just leaves Roxy.’ ‘Roxy?’ Freaka-chu raised an eyebrow. ‘Not sure I’ve met her.’

There was a lot of jostling from one section of the crowd that huddled around the control panels behind them. ‘I dunno her either,’ Elion shrugged. ‘You do know Roxy,’ Red insisted. ‘She hangs out in the Off Topic Section. Talks a lot with Asphyxia and Richy and loads of others.’ ‘She hangs out with who?’ Elion held out his hands. ‘I don’t know these people.’ ‘You do know them,’ Red pressed. ‘Seriously, you know them. You’ll recognize her when you see her.’ The jostling persisted behind them as people tried to move about the RETARDIS interior. Freaka-chu had told them not to go wandering in the corridors because that’s how a lot of people got lost. To his knowledge there could be anywhere of up to seven people wandering around them from years gone by. But as the RETARDIS interior was literally infinite, he saw little point in attempting to locate them himself. ‘So, just one more to go then?’ A bird asked, fluttering over to the side of the hatch where Freaka-chu and the others were conversing. ‘Because you said that this room was going to be deleted. I’d like to be far away when that happens if you don’t mind. You are supposed to be looking after me, Dr.! I’m the last of my species, so you say and I think putting me in danger like this is a little reckless.’ ‘The chicken talks?’ Jazz frowned. ‘ROOSTER!’ The bird shouted back angrily. ‘We’ve still got time,’ Freaka-chu said, taking out a pocket watch as a woman in a purple outfit appeared in the middle of the room. Momentarily stunned as to what had happened, she span around in a full circle, stopping when her eyes came to rest on The RETARDIS. She frowned hard, her mouth falling open. ‘No!’ She gasped in disbelief. Freaka-chu’s neck straightened out as he studied the woman that had appeared. ‘No!’ he mimicked. ‘That’s not … but where did? … How did? …’ There was more movement at Freaka-chu’s legs as the origin of the jostling, a small, muscled man with numerous tattoos burst through the crowd and leapt out of the RETARDIS to greet the woman. ‘Roxanne?’ Freaka-chu said in disbelief, holding the door open for her. *** ‘OH-MY-GOD! I can’t believe it!’ Jayne shrieked as she threw herself at the side rail of the boat and looked down into the water. ‘You’ve never been this far away from home,’ Dodge sang. ‘Yes, it is all rather historic and everything isn’t it?’ The Dr. replied, stuffing his hands into the large pockets of his red velvet coat as the evening drew in. The sea breeze attacking his mass of curly blonde hair with a vengeance. ‘It’s stuff like this that almost wants me to start taking a camera with me.’ ‘Why don’t you then?’ Dodge asked, lounging back in a deckchair. ‘You don’t have any snaps of … anything.’ ‘No, don’t suppose I do,’ The Dr. replied sombrely. ‘Never seen the point, got it all up here,’ he said, tapping his head. ‘So how long have we got ‘til …’ Dodge made several miming gestures of a boat being bombarded with a giant iceberg and bubbling down into the sea. ‘A few hours,’ The Dr. replied. ‘But even after the … collision, the whole thing still takes its sweet time to disappear. We’ve got plenty of time to explore and … do all the stuff that … people do on ships. ‘Karaoke?’ Dodge asked hopefully. ‘More like shuffleboard and cocktails,’ Jayne sighed. ‘Romantic, isn’t it?’ ‘Yeah,’ Dodge said, rolling his eyes. ‘Do you want to go up to the front and do the bit from Titanic? Y’know “I’m king of the world!”.’ ‘Not with you I don’t,’ Jayne replied before letting her eyes settle on The Dr, who was busy examining a floatation ring with a quizzical expression.

‘Jayne and The Dr. sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-OUCH!’ Dodge recoiled as Jayne punched him in the gut. ‘You’re such a dick, Dodge! Sometimes I wish we’d never rescued you from those slavers,’ Jayne scowled quietly and stalked off further down the observation deck where she seated herself next to a young lady who was being fussed over by a small man who leered at Jayne and winked as she sat down. The man gave Jayne the thumbs up which was impressive since he was wearing boxing gloves and whispered something to his lady companion. ‘No,’ she replied. ‘Not on the boat! What have I told you?’ ‘Sorry, mistress,’ the man replied sheepishly, sneakily blowing Jayne a kiss. ‘Sorry about him,’ the lady said. ‘Haven’t got him properly trained yet.’ ‘Oh,’ Jayne lifted her eyebrows and nodded. ‘I see.’ ‘I can normally control him on land. He gets out for exercise and gets to indulge himself. But you know how it is when you keep an animal in a confined space. It’s only a matter of time.’ Jayne thought about Dodge and realized she knew exactly what the woman was talking about. ‘Jayne Watson,’ she said, extending her hand. ‘Roxanne King, and this is McKellion.’ ‘Spiffing!’ Jayne said lightly. ‘Making new friends?’ The Dr. asked idling by with Dodge in tow, looking about as unimpressed as McKellion did. ‘Yes I am,’ Jayne replied pointedly. ‘Being copped up with only boys for company gets a trifle tiring.’ ‘K-Y’s not really a boy,’ Dodge protested. ‘Still,’ Jayne shrugged, thoroughly enjoying playing the period part. ‘The matter remains the same. When one is forced to fraternize with cads and bounders, it makes one feel very unlady-like.’ ‘She’s gone again, Doc,’ Dodge said quietly out of the side of his mouth to The Dr. who was once again staring off into space. ‘I think we need to start testing her for diseases she’s picked up, stuff that rots the brain.’ ‘Oh, a Doctor is it?’ Roxanne asked, rising from her seat and shaking The Dr.’s hand. The Dr. was slightly startled as he was brought out of his daydream and forced out a smile as he introduced himself. ‘And that is Dodge,’ Jayne said, tutting as she picked at Dodge’s knee-length hair. ‘We found him in the jungle … we haven’t managed to properly train him yet either.’ ‘Watch it,’ Dodge snapped quietly. ‘Anyway,’ The Dr. said, cutting between them. ‘We’ve got to be going I’m afraid.’ ‘Not going, going?’ Jayne frowned. ‘No, but there is that thing we need to take care of,’ The Dr. said sternly. ‘But it was lovely to meet you all the same Mrs King.’ ‘It’s Miss,’ Roxanne retorted sweetly. ‘Oh, right, well then it was lovely to meet you Mrs Miss,’ The Dr. nodded, bowing slightly and marching off with Jayne’s arm tucked under his securely. ‘What are you doing?’ Jayne scowled as they proceeded along the deck. ‘You know what I said about getting attached,’ The Dr. replied. ‘It’s not like the two of you are going to be pursuing an overly-long acquaintance is it?’ ‘She might survive,’ Jayne hissed. ‘Possibly,’ The Dr. nodded. ‘When you get home you can go meet her … I’m fairly certain her grave will be lovely either way.’ ‘Well then,’ Jayne said, disentangling herself from The Dr.’s hold. ‘All the more reason to get to know her as well as possible now, wouldn’t you say?’ The Dr. narrowed his eyes at her as she retraced their steps back towards the couple. ‘I’ll keep an eye on her,’ Dodge said dutifully, following her. ‘We’ll catch up with you later.’

‘Nothing intrusive,’ The Dr. said plainly. ‘And make sure she doesn’t try to smuggle people into the RETARDIS when I’m not looking.’ ‘I’ll do my best to try,’ Dodge shrugged. This was a mistake. The Dr. knew it. Jayne had been so insistent that they see the Titanic and hadn’t been too pleased when he’d taken her to a scuba shop to get kitted out. “No, the real Titanic! As it was in the olden days before it sank!” she had protested. Of course, it was a lovely day out. The air was nice, the view was good. The cocktails looked fantastic, but The Dr. didn’t drink anymore, not since he’d Degenerated into his Third form. He preferred a clear head in case he needed to shoot something with precision. He fingered the hilt of his plasma cannon in the large pocket inside his red velvet coat and smiled, happy in the knowledge that it was there if he should need it. He really would have to get the pair of them off the boat before the iceberg hit. Before it started to go under. Jayne would do that annoying thing of refusing to leave unless they could save as many doomed passengers as possible while they were at it. That just wasn’t a feasible option. Jayne had to learn that. Dodge had grasped the concept with minimal effort. It was astounding how quickly he had learned the fundamentals. He would have made a good Video Lord under any other circumstances. The Dr. puzzled over the factors he had to consider as he stepped back inside the main portion of the ship, into the stairwell, completely unaware that he was being stalked. His Video Lord instincts should have picked it up. He should have detected it. Maybe he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to concentrate. Afterall, the Titanic was the last place in the entirety of the space-time continuum that he expected to be clobbered over the head and stuffed into a cupboard. But that’s exactly what happened. ‘Sorry,’ his assailant said, breathing in through his teeth as he closed the door. ‘Really … really sorry.’ *** ‘End of the line!’ Freaka-chu said, kicking open the door of the RETARDIS. ‘This service terminates at The Mercury Room Central. Please take all of your belongings with you upon disembarking and do try not to steal anything when you go … that means you Jazz.’ Jazz frowned and put the Plasma Cannon he had been trying to sneak out under his jacket back on the table. ‘Jazz’s Cancer Ray is far superior in any case,’ he muttered and climbed out of the time machine and into the Index Section. ‘Please return to your homes, get yourselves checked out if you think you need it and do not accept anything shiny from strangers,’ he said in an irritated tone. ‘We’ll discuss it later,’ he said shortly to Roxy and McKellion who had been trying to speak to him throughout the journey, but had always found themselves one step behind him as he zipped around the control panel, constantly evading them in the sea of members. He ushered them out of the craft as quickly as possible and went about manoeuvring the rest of the crowd. ‘Hey, Freaka-chu,’ Red said quietly as he passed by. ‘What happened to the Lithium Rooms … do you think that could happen here?’ Freaka-chu rubbed his chin and followed the last of the group out of the RETARDIS. ‘I’d like to say that I doubt it,’ he breathed. ‘But the truth is that I’m not so certain. Those monsters are capable of a lot of things … it’s definitely a possibility that we need to be prepared for.’ ‘But what do we do if they do decide to attack?’ Elion asked, balling his fists. ‘What did that Doctor guy actually try in their reality?’ ‘A few things,’ Freaka-chu replied darkly as the members of the crowd who were Moderators, or too stubborn to go home, headed off towards the Moderators and Administrators Section. ‘None of them worked.’

‘Obviously,’ Elion puffed angrily. ‘I think we should think of something that will work.’ ‘Obviously,’ Freaka-chu retorted. ‘And what’s up with you and that Roxy chick?’ Danny asked, throwing his head inbetween them. ‘She your ex or something? You didn’t seem too pleased to see her.’ ‘Not my ex,’ Freaka-chu said sharply. ‘No, your wife might not approve of it,’ Red snickered. ‘Woah, you guys really need to start filling me in, pronto,’ Will-ko puffed, brandishing his pen-wand at them as menacingly as he could. ‘This place is turning into a soap opera.’ ‘They’re two problems’ I’ll sort out in due course,’ Freaka-chu said as they walked. ‘Once I’m sure we’re not going to die horribly.’ *** The Dr. sat up amidst a pile of mops and brooms. His head throbbed. What the hell had happened? He checked his pockets. Trinkets, tools, badges, gizmos, his watches, egg-shaped power cell, Bionic Screwdriver, Plasma Cannon, RETARDIS key. Everything was there. Nothing had been taken that he was aware of. He rose gingerly, rubbed his head and cursed loudly. Throwing open the door of the cupboard he had been so unceremoniously stuffed into and stood there in the corridor, seething. He sucked in a deep breath and collected his thoughts as scream rang out all around him and the whole ship rocked violently. The Dr. cursed loudly again and launched himself up the stairs. Top deck, behind the forward lifeboat. That’s where he’d hidden the RETARDIS. He had to get there and fast. Dodge and Watson would be making their way there too. He had told them strictly that they should make their way there as soon as possible once the iceberg hit. No ifs, no buts, no niggles, no problems, no issues, no stopping to use the toilet or get something from the gift shop and definitely no picking up stragglers. They would be here in due course. Dodge would make sure of it. He could be a reckless pain but he would ensure Jayne’s safety above all else. Unless he’d found himself a steward or an officer to letch after. Then all hope was lost. The Dr. kicked open the door that led out onto the top deck and sprinted towards the forward lifeboat. There was nobody about. The passengers were too busy admiring the big block of ice that was bringing their death. It would be sometime before the true extent of the damage was known and chaos reigned aboard the vessel. He ducked under the lifeboat, fishing for his key and stopped dead in his tracks. The RETARDIS was gone. ‘Oh, shitty-pops!’ The Dr. cursed as the ship lurched violently once more. ‘ONWARD TO VICTORY MY MINIONS!’ The Dr. hugged the wall as a murderous voice filled his ears. The iceberg was merrily floating past the Titanic, making the ghastly hole that would send the liner to her ultimate doom. But there were things moving onboard the iceberg. There were animals of some kind, being commanded by a large fat one wearing a crown to board the Titanic. They were pirates. More alarmingly. They were penguins. *** ‘We did not expect you to return,’ The Manhunter said as the group found their way back to the top end of the Index Section. The carnage of the earlier fight was still visible all around them. ‘How long were we gone exactly?’ Freaka-chu asked, sticking his head into the Black Hole Room just to make sure it wasn’t going nuclear, or supernova, or whatever it was that Black Holes went when they decided it was high time that they did some destroying. All seemed fine. ‘Just over an hour,’ Manhunter said briskly. Though it would appear that we have yet another issue to resolve,’ Manhunter continued. ‘Let me guess,’ Elion sighed. ‘Big monsters coming to destroy us?’ ‘Hmmm,’ Steffman said, folding his arms. ‘You’ve seen them then?’

‘No, but we’ve seen what they’re capable of,’ Red said scathingly, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘It’s not pretty.’ ‘It would seem they are the Video Maker’s doing. A contingency plan in the event of Fred’s failure,’ Manhunter said as Freaka-chu searched through his pockets, clucking to himself idly. ‘We need a plan,’ The Video Lord said finally, taking out his Bionic Screwdriver. ‘No shit, Sherlock,’ Jazz frowned. ‘Jazz could have stated the obvious. Jazz thought you were supposed to have better ideas. Jazz concludes that you fail.’ ‘I SHALL TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE ADMINISTRATORS AGAIN,’ Mooney said, fluttering off into the office. ‘Doubt it’ll do much good either way,’ Freaka-chu said as he adjusted the settings on his Screwdriver. ‘Unless the Administrators can break through to this reality, all they could do would be watch the destruction. ‘So we’re alone in this?’ Danny exclaimed. ‘We have to think of a plan? Us?’ ‘Ye say that like we cannae dee it,’ L96A1 folded his arms. ‘Sounds like unnecessary effort to me,’ Beakedbard shrugged. ‘I think we should take off and nuke the site from orbit,’ Guy Garner said sternly. ‘It’s the only way to be sure.’ ‘Or!’ Jeebus cut in. ‘We could strap a warhead to Waldo and then smear some dog food on the monsters. Then we sit back and watch the feathers fly.’ ‘There aren’t any pigeon monsters you know,’ Red scowled. ‘Dunno, there might be,’ Elion chimed in. ‘We haven’t seen them yet have we? They could be anything!’ ‘Bring it on!’ Skelifish said, swinging his scythe, I’m ready for them.’ ‘Okay,’ Elion said quietly to Red as he looked from Wish to Guy Garner through Skelifish, Blacky, CAD, Yanwaell and the Resident Old Man. ‘I don’t know any of these people at all.’ ‘That’s okay,’ Red nodded patronisingly. ‘These are new ones; you don’t have to know them yet.’ ‘We’ll do introductions later,’ Freaka-chu said, tapping at his skull. ‘Right now we need a plan before the Titans get here!’ ‘Well, get to thinking of one then!’ Steffman said indignantly. ‘Before they get here, quick now.’ ‘I’m trying,’ Freaka-chu hissed. ‘The pressure isn’t helping. ‘You want me to rub your shoulders?’ Pun offered. ‘Not really.’ ‘That’s okay, I wasn’t going to … just wanted people to look at me.’ ‘Elmo wonders if we all can’t just be friends with the monsters. Elmo is a monster and Elmo is fuzzy and friendly!’ ‘These guys aren’t exactly of the fuzzy friendly variety,’ Red clucked. ‘Not if their handiwork is anything to go by.’ ‘DR.!’ Roxy said, stalking down the Index Section towards them, arms folded, McKellion in tow. ‘We need to talk.’ ‘We’ll discuss this later,’ Freaka-chu sang. ‘Uhm, guys,’ Vash said, drawing his swords as a giant Fox with glowing eyes loomed out of the sky above them. A giant chicken followed with two colossal fat twins, a living mountain, a humongous lion and a gargantuan lamp in tow. The Titans had arrived. ‘I don’t think there’s going to be a later!’