Final Page 2 Snail Mail

Page 2

Issue 4

SNAIL PIECE

LET’S FACE IT - there are a lot of problems in our country. But no matter if we all ‘pack for Perth’, or find ourselves working or living in another country, it is always great to hear Sefrican slang. During one of my recent ‘surfing’ sessions, I found a great website which listed many Sefrican expressions, with the emphasis on Durban slang. Here are a few samplers: Ace - (Alone, solitary) “I was out there on my ace when someone shouted “Shark!” Babalaas (‘Bub-ba-lars’) - The hangover from hell, fondly called a “Barbie”. The Babalaas is no mythical beast. If you can look at yourself in the mirror, you’ll be able to examine that furry tongue slithering in a mumbling, parched mouth, through your puffy eyelids which scrape across your bloodshot eyeballs. (I was the one who proved the beast existed) J China - (A friend) And a colleague or acquaintance, or someone you don’t know at all. It can be used aggressively. “Are you tuning me kak China?” (Us oldies who have ‘senior moments’ use this word extensively. We can never remember anyone’s name. In fact – all my friends are called “China”). Not to be confused with “Connection”, conneko, kanoni (Friend, buddy) “Jimmy’s my big connection. We surf together every day.” Ducked - (Left, departed) “As soon as I checked the boere pull in, I ducked.” (As soon as I saw the police arrive, I left.) For lots more – go to http:// www.wavescape.co.za/bot_bar/ surfrikan/slang.html

President Mbeki goes on an official state visit to a small country in the middle of Africa. At the airport he is met by this country’s Minister of Harbours. All of a sudden Mr. Mbeki realizes that this is absurd, this country has no harbours as it is landlocked! He is very puzzled and decides to find out what the story is. At the official state banquet later that evening, he leans over to the President and asks, “Mr. President, why do you have a Minister of Harbours when you don’t have any harbours?” The President looks Mr. Mbeki straight in the eye and says, “Well, you know that may be true Mr. Mandela, but I was just as puzzled as to why you have a Minister of Law and Order?”

Aunt Gertie

DEAR GERTIE: I was recently married. I have a daughter, "Courtney," from a previous relationship. Things were great before the wedding. We included Courtney in the planning. However, things turned sour. Courtney kept causing problems with my husband, and they both looked to me to work it out. I was being torn in two. Nothing I said to either of them, or if I just left the room to force them to work it out without me, things only got worse. I left my husband over this - stressed out. Everyone told me I shouldn’t let my daughter dictate what was going on in my life. But I can’t force my child to live in a home where she doesn’t feel welcome. Did I make the right decision? I still love my husband, but I must look out for what is best for my daughter. SECOND THOUGHTS

DEAR Second Thoughts, Of course you have to look out for what is best for your child. Although you may have done the right thing in leaving, however, I think you left too soon. Courtney never had to share her mother's love and attention with anyone before. She was fighting for total possession of her parent, which wasn't healthy for either of you. Before leaving your husband, it would have been better to try family counseling to improve the level of communication, toleranceandunderstanding between the "combatIsie Blackbeard designs ants." Relationships are a minefield without kids, and it takes a lot more patience and understanding when there ARE kids Exclusive, Stunning Wedding Gowns involved. Adults tend to forget how confused they designed for you or are at the best of times, One-of-a-Kind Ready Made never mind when a stepfather comes into the Call now for your appointment mix. If this was a recent occurence, you might be able to salvage this situation with some open and EASY PARKING honestcommunicationbeCut this advert out and bring it in to the shop for a tween all parties confree flower girl dress hire worth R300 with new cerned. wedding gown order Good luck! Gertie.

BRIDE-TO-BE NOW AT:

Shop 31 Mangrove Beach Centre

031-332 6321



Fatal Attraction!!

This past week, the papers have been full of the results of the ‘fear of crime’ survey conducted by the company ‘Research Surveys’, among 2000 people living in the country’s cities. The respondents, surprisingly, ranked Durban the second safest city, with 77% of residents feeling they are in danger, while Port Elizabeth was perceived to be the most dangerous city in the country, with 86%. Johannesburg ranked a lowly 69%. Statistics, as we all know, can be very misleading, and it must be emphasised that overall, the average was 77%. This means that over two thirds of city residents nationwide, are living in fear. Now, Snail Mail, has repeatedly slated the inefficiency of government, it’s policies, and it’s failure to address basic issues, such as safety and security, housing, sanitation, electricity and job creation on a provincial level. We now have to look at the BIG picture and realise that our government has ‘dropped the ball’, so to speak. The reason clichés such as “absolute power corrupts absolutely” exist, is because history has a tendency to repeat itself. It is said that we “learn from our mistakes”, but it is apparent that new regimes always think that these old adages do not apply to them. “Let us make our own mistakes”, seems to be the thinking. It is a bit like a parent - child relationship. The child

does not take kindly to advice and guidance from the parent. “What do YOU know?” is the mindset. All of you parents reading this will probably chuckle at that. The fact is, the child, (in this case, the ANC government – with a 75% majority) will inevitably come around to the parent’s way of thinking as it matures. However, in a family unit, the learning curve is manageable. When the child is the government, the learning process affects millions of citizens. My advice to the powers that be is: Resist the trappings of office. Forget about prestige, power and personal goals. Politicians must remember that we are, at last, a democracy, and that they are accountable to the public. Corruption must be rooted out, crime, basic services and job creation must be the top priorities, and public servants must heed the ‘Batho Pele’ principles, which, if followed, will ensure they become true servants of the public. South Africa is in danger of falling into the same quagmire that the other 50-odd countries in Africa have. Let us remember the words from the last stanza of our National Anthem: “Sounds the call to come together, And united we shall stand, Let us live and strive for freedom, In South Africa our land”. Conrad Smit

John Ross House Ground floor Tel: 337 1008

PRIVATE FUNCTIONS OR WEDDINGS CAN BE ARRANGED FOR PARTIES AT OUR FULLYLICENSED PREMISES

BIG

SCREEN TV

LIVE MUSIC

F DEL REE IVE DAI RIES LY

BREAKFASTS FROM R17 SANDWICHES FROM R12 FOOT LONG ROLLS FROM R14 CURRIES FROM R19

O P E N 7 DAYS A W E E K 8 - T I L L L AT E