Exemplify September Issue

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 2009/Patience

The Shape of Patience

Ministry: Online!

Dealing with Negativity

Interview with Tricia of The Domestic Fringe

Featuring Patty Wysong & Isunji Cardoso living lives that glorify

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Editor’s Welcome I’m often tempted to blame my impatience on my personality (very Type A) and move on from ever touching on this topic again. I do have things to do, you know. I just exclaimed the words, “I’m the busiest person I know! I don’t have time for this,” to my husband, while formatting a magazine ministering on the theme of patience.

finish molding her. Just you wait and see.” We sell ourselves short when we blame sin (plain and simple) on personality type. This issue has challenged me to lay down my flaws before Christ and allow His Spirit room to move and mold me.

That should keep me off any pedestals for a good, long while.

And that was just during the proofing process.

The thing I’m learning about my identity in Christ is that who I say I am is very different from who He says I am.

I am thrilled to feature two of my blog buddies, Patty Wysong of Patterings and Isunji Cardoso of The Quiet One.

I say, “Kristen Schiffman? She’s a Type-A, impatient, feisty girl who is in dire need of some caffeine.”

My favorite things about online ministry are the friends you make. Isunji will make you laugh out loud and Patty will help you find the ordinary to be extraordinary.

He says, “Kristen Schiffman? She’ll take on the shape of patience once I

© Exemplify 2009

A stand out article for me this month was Kara’s in which she writes, “Oh to let the Holy Spirit course through our lives forever transforming our hard brittle souls into something that is breathtaking in beauty.” I encourage you to read her words on page 24. You will be marked with a hunger to offer Him more. I can promise you that. I’d also like to thank Christy McGraw of CrittyJoy for offering her photography to our magazine this month. Look for her photos on pages 10, 20 & 21. As always, it is with joy I offer you this issue of Exemplify Magazine. Find Him here among these pages, glorified.

In King Jesus, Kristen Schiffman

contents 18 19 20 22

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE Founder/Editor in Chief Kristen Schiffman Assistant Editor/Family Columnist Andrea Mitchell In 10 Minutes or Less Carol Moxley Advice Column Christine Johnston Singles Columnist Christy McGraw

22 features Patience Pie Blog: Patterings THe Pathway to your Promise Interview: life on the fringe

Sanctuary Columnist Christy Klein Marriage Columnist Jenifer Jernigan Fashion Columnist Jennifer Norra Interview Columnist Judith Roberts Ministry: Online! Columnist Amy Bayliss Devotion Columnist Kara Cox Book Review Columnist Kate

columns The book Nook with kate Love Longsuffering Ministry: Online! How to get the most out of every minute The one about online dating Enabled Patience Wait for 10 minutes or less Bible study: the lucky ones The shape of patience My sizzling Sanctuary Jesus Christ, M.D. Fiction: My Jehovah-Raphe

Fiction Columnist Tara Rachel

4 5 7 9

Health Columnist Shannon Bible Study Columnist Victoria Jenkins How-To Columnist Wendy Miller

12 14 15 16 24 25 28 29

Online & Blog Team Kristen Schiffman Andrea Mitchell Christy McGraw Victoria Jenkins Patty Wysong

25

Be sure to visit our website for information on our team writers.

Marsha Harwood Joanne Sher Wendy Miller Sonia Chacon Shane Schwichtenberg Kelli Reagan Christa Allan Daisy Olsen

© Exemplify 2009

The Book Nook: Surrender the Wind

Review by Kate

Surrender the Wind by Rita Gerlach Are you a fan of Christian historical romance novels with wild plot twists and plenty of intrigue? Then you will likely enjoy Surrender the Wind, a newly published novel by Rita Gerlach and the second Abingdon Press book I’ve been given the opportunity to read. Billed as “an epic story of love and betrayal,” Surrender the Wind chronicles the adventures of an American patriot in England just after the Revolutionary War. The novel is centered on Seth Braxton, an upright young man who fought for America’s Independence and was happily living in rural Virginia when he receives word that his grandfather, on his deathbed, has bequeathed to Seth the ancestral Ten Width estate in Devonshire, England. Seth is reluctant to leave his home, but feels a duty toward his sister Caroline, who had been taken to England at the start of the war and was living at Ten Width. Intending to stay only long enough to get his affairs in order, Seth’s plans are derailed by a series of tragic and unexpected events, beginning with the death of Caroline’s young son. However, things may not be as they seem, and Seth’s quest for truth puts him, and others, in mortal danger. While the story is initially focused on Seth and Caroline, Seth finds unexpected love in Caroline’s close friend Juleah, who was present at the death of Seth and Caroline’s grandfather. Her beauty and naiveté are a troublesome combination, however, and Juleah manages to get herself into a fair amount of trouble, not least of

which involves the attentions of the dishonorable Captain Darden, a former love interest who is unwilling to take no for an answer. There are many characters in this novel, and quite a few minor characters turn out to play crucial parts later on. Characters also suddenly reveal themselves to be somehow related in various ways, and I found myself in need of a family tree or block diagram to keep from getting confused. The wild plot twists and wholly unexpected coincidences, especially in terms of minor characters, vaguely brought to mind David Copperfield and Oliver Twist. Some of Surrender’s minor characters are quite witty, and indeed, some of the best lines came from bit players. One of my favorite characters was Loll Makepeace, a cemetery caretaker. When Seth asked him if he believed that the dead would one day be raised to heaven or hell, Makepeace replied, “Don’t you, young sir? If you don’t, then you are a man most miserable.” Another minor character, Juleah’s elderly Aunt Isadora, warns women against reading romance novels, presumably a touch of irony on the author’s part. Isadora tells Juleah, “Books like that give a young woman wrong ideas, not what the real world is about. They lead to disappointment.” This is true, and is one of the reasons why I don’t tend to read this genre. The novel’s villain, Captain Darden, had few, if any, redeeming qualities. He seemed to turn what could have been virtuous character qualities into sin. Darden loved Juleah, but as time went on, that love manifested itself as lust, and his passion for her turned into obsession. Darden’s quest to

gain property and love, by force if necessary, demonstrates greed and especially envy: He wanted what was not rightfully his. This brought to mind James 3:16- “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” A quick search of my Bible’s concordance yielded a verse that, in my opinion, is the great lesson to be learned from Darden: Titus 3:3-4 says: At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. Darden’s character seemed, to me, to be a manifestation of man’s sinful nature. He wanted what he wanted because he wanted it, and was willing to go to extremes to get it. Darden was enslaved by his passions and pleasures and needed the mercy and grace of God. To paraphrase John Bradford, “There but for the grace of God, go I.” The author, Rita Gerlach, has published three historical novels and is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers. She is also the editor of a writer’s website called Stepping Stones Magazine. For those who enjoy the historical romance genre, despite Aunt Isadora’s warning, and are willing to suspend disbelief, Surrender the Wind, which was published in August by Abingdon Press, is full of action, suspense, love, and surprises.

© Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Love Longsuffering Written by Jenifer Jerginan

It was my fourth semester of Old Testament. I don’t think I will ever forget that week. I sat one row back, four desks in inside a room covered from floor to ceiling with painted maps of the nations of Israel, Abraham’s journeys, the exodus of the children of Israel, and many other pertinent Old Testament happenings, but that week the maps didn’t distract me. Instead my thoughts, eyes, and heart were completely focused on the professor as he stood behind the lectern, tears streaming down his face, and taught through the

as we took this journey through the

Hosea was called by the LORD to

pages of Hosea, but wouldn’t

marry a woman who would

completely grasp its true meaning

prostitute herself out later on in their

until years later.

marriage. This woman would give

Hosea was a prophet of Yahweh. He served the LORD in ministry from around 755-710 B.C. During his years of service, the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people, experienced peace, prosperity, moral corruption, and spiritual ruin. Hosea’s primary focus was to open the blinded spiritual eyes of Israel in hopes that they would see how they had violated their covenant relationship with Yahweh.

book of Hosea. I was deeply moved

birth to children who may or may not have been the biological offspring of Hosea. She would disgrace him and bring shame upon their home. But, Hosea would not leave her; instead he would stand right beside her. He would not shun her; instead he would welcome her home. He would never hate her; instead he would love her all the more. If ever there were an example of patience in a martial relationship, Hosea would be the poster child.

© Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,

out his arms to her and welcome

Our marital circumstances may not

peace, LONGSUFFERING, kindness,

her home. He suffered great

be as extreme as those of Hosea

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

heartache, yet he was a beautiful

and his wife, but nonetheless, we

picture of patience.

all face times of difficulty within our

self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22 & 23, NKJV

How was Hosea able to, time and

Patience and/or longsuffering as

time again, forgive his wife? Why

defined for us in Galatians 5:22 is

did he continue to take her back?

the transliteration of the Greek

Why didn’t he just divorce her and

word makrothumia which means

marry a Godly woman who would

endurance, constancy,

be faithful to him? How could he

steadfastness, perseverance,

keep on loving her? How could he

forbearance, longsuffering,

be so patient? Patience isn’t based

slowness in avenging wrongs

on one’s immediate

(Thayer’s Greek Definitions).

circumstances; rather it is based on

In John Gill’s Exposition of the entire Bible he says the following about

who is in control of those circumstances.

marriages. There will be times when our blood will boil with anger; times when our flesh will greatly desire to seek revenge because of a wrong done to us; times when our mate may get on our last nerve. It is during these times when you and I must make the choice not quench the power of the Holy Spirit, but instead allow His power to arm us with patience for our spouse. First Corinthians 13:4, tells us that “love suffers long”. Love outlasts all

longsuffering/ patience,

From the passage we read in

failures and injuries inflicted by

“longsuffering is a patient bearing

Galatians 5:22 we learn that

another because love begins with

and enduring of present evils with

patience is a result of the Holy

patience.

joyfulness, being strengthened by

Spirit’s indwelling in and among His

the Spirit with all might, according

people- “but the fruit of the Spirit

to His glorious power; being slow to

is…” Hosea was able to

anger, ready to forgive injuries, put

demonstrate patience in his marital

up with affronts (insults), and bear

relationship because his focus was

with, and forbear one another: and

not on the circumstances around

which is usually accompanied with

him but rather on Yahweh. Hosea

gentleness, humanity, affability,

wasn’t keeping a running list of all

courteousness, shown both in

the times his wife would come

words, gestures, and actions.”

home late. He wasn’t keeping

Hosea joyfully endured the trials in his marriage because he knew there was a greater purpose. He didn’t rant and rave when his wife came home late; instead he remained calm, compassionate, and loving toward this woman who had betrayed him. Over and over Hosea would forgive his wife, Gomer, for all the wrong she would commit against him; with kindness

score of how many times he was right as opposed to all the times she was wrong. He wasn’t complaining because dinner wasn’t on the table or his clothes were dirty. Hosea remained true and faithful to the calling God had placed on his life to marry Gomer and serve those around him by lovingly reminding them of God’s covenant love for His people.

If one were to continue reading through the book of Hosea it would become evident that Hosea’s marriage to Gomer was a representation of God’s unconditional love, never-ending forgiveness, and immeasurable patience for His chosen people. You and I can mirror this characteristic of patience in our marriages only through the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. In order for us to view those circumstances that tempt us to become impatient, irritated, and annoyed we must DAILY yield ourselves to the authority of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We must seek His guidance and wisdom in all situations and allow Him to fill our hearts with a pure, honest love that is willing and able to suffer long.

and gentleness he would stretch

© Exemplify 2009

Ministry Online: What to do With Negativity EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Written by Amy Bayliss

There has been a time or two

while asking God questions like:

positive, non-offensive way or

when I have received comments

Why me? And what did I ever do

better yet, they should email you

on my blog or profile that were,

to them?

and initiate a private discussion.

well, less than welcome. People have varied opinions on certain matters and some like to express

The first step here is to pray and seek God’s guidance.

Your blog or your profile is your

them quite often in the comments

After taking the time to pray, I

own private space, just like your

of others. In my earlier days of

realized that it really wasn’t about

home. It is up to you to decide

being online it would absolutely

me. It was about them. Why?

what should stay and what should

bother me if someone left a

Because even if a person

go.

comment that was rude or

disagrees with what you have

offensive and I’d just sit and

written or what you have said,

ponder over what to do all the

they can still reply to you in a

© Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

In future issues, we will discuss, in detail,the applications we can use to minister to others via the World Wide Web. If you have any specific questions about blogging (design and writing), twittering, or anything else pertaining to online ministry please send them to: inquiry@amybayliss. com. I will try to answer as many questions as possible in each issue.

What you should never do is argue, especially in your comments or in a future post. God, the Father will defend you (Romans 12:19). If you feel a need to express your position publicly then do it without mentioning the commenter. The best response is always a gentle response (Proverbs 15:1). Email them and ask how they are doing and if you can pray for them in some way. Let them know that you read their comment and are open to privately discuss any concerns they may have. If you feel strongly that their comment should be deleted then by all means do so and simply explain to them that you didn’t feel comfortable leaving it on your blog. It’s your space and you have the right to remove anything you feel the need to. What if it is an anonymous commenter? That is the easiest to answer. Delete. Don’t entertain them by responding or posting about their comment, just delete. It is not worth your time or effort to respond unless you feel led to. A person who leaves an offensive comment

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

anonymously then they are not interested in communicating with you. They are interested in embarrassing you or making you feel bad. Don’t invite the devil in for tea. Refuse to open that door. If someone feels strongly enough about something and cares so much about you or other that they feel they should say something about what you’ve written, then they should at the very least reveal their identity. If they don’t, delete. But still remember to pray for them.

© Exemplify 2009

How-To Get the Most out of Every Minute EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Written by Wendy Miller

36,000,000! That’s how many minutes the average person lives (estimated for a seventy-year-old). How exceptional it would be to go through life saying that you’ve made the most out of all 36,000,000 minutes. What a reward. Now that I’ve mentioned averages, how many people would you suspect on average truly maximize the potential out of each and every minute? Obviously we all falter and fall

lorem ipsum dolor met set short, sometimes on a moment to quam nunc parum

moment basis. However, we are

accidents, climbing divorce rates,

still to strive for excellence in Christ

and even the prevalence of STD’s.

and there are ways to set our

We’re not inclined to pay

minds to this, there are ways to

attention. It’s a learned behavior

work toward making our time on

and one that comes with rich

earth (however brief it may be)

rewards. One way we can be fully

count.

present in the moment is to take

Pay Attention

notice of where we are, what surrounds us, how our senses are

We live in a culture that has

engaged, what our mind is telling

forgotten the art of paying

us and most of all what is being

attention. Something must

communicated to us by trusted

demand our attention for us to

loved ones or by our God.

provide it. Examples of lack of attention causing a detriment to society are obvious in traffic

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard © Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

“Let us go right into the presence of God, with true hearts fully trusting him.” Hebrews 10:22

Learn Patience “Eliminating hurry from your life will

faster than yours. You wonder as

into our conversation. Who knows

each minute escapes time forever if

what God might be trying to teach

you’d be wise to hop over to one of

me as I quietly listen to my husband?

the other lines. There’s something to

I imagine love would be one thing.

reduce your stress level and begin to

be said for trying to achieve a lot in a

open up some space for God in your

minimal amount of time. There’s

life.” ~ Keri Wyatt Kent from Breathe:

more to be said for understanding

Have you heard the expression leave

Creating Space for God in a Hectic

the value of waiting.

it at the altar? I have and it works. I

Life Patience is another foundational lesson our culture struggles to grasp. Tom Petty sang about it being the hardest part. It often feels difficult if we rely on our feelings. Imagine this: seven hours into a day-long car trip, seventy miles per hour screeches to less than twenty, then to no movement whatsoever. First reaction? Okay no, don’t go there. Point made. Or even take something as simple as a grocery line. You find your place in line behind four other people eyeing the lines to your left and right seeing if they are moving

Inject Yourself into the Moment/Be Fully Present

Forgive/Hand over your Past

visualize carrying whatever hurt or offense in a box and placing it before the cross. Do my feelings

Never was homecoming queen, but

always subside? No. Do I perk up

I’m a daydreamer believer tried and

and take on the positivity of

true. My head is in the clouds. It takes

Pollyanna? No. But I’ve been

effort for me to suspend thoughts

obedient when I do this and there’s

about my next novel while my

a certain freedom that comes from

husband tells me about his day at

forgiving. When we are freed up

work. God teaches me during these

from the chains of our past and the

times. If I’m to show my husband that

baggage of hurt we are best able to

I’m all his, I am to show it. Meaning, I

live unburdened and intentionally

can’t grant him a placating smile as I

committed to each moment.

fantasize about my new plot line. Being fully present in the moment requires me to rein my brain down from the clouds and inject it back

Give Up Worry “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” Corrie Ten Boom

Americans especially, we like to get. But to give—to truly give of our time by volunteering, speaking a word of encouragement or donating our things—nothing beats that. Beth

I once read somewhere the saying,

Moore joked about a certain culture

‘If you can worry, you can pray.’ If

where it’s common if you

you are burdened with something

compliment someone’s glasses for

the best thing you can do is to lift it

example, they’re likely to take them

up in prayer to the One who has the

from their face and give them to

power to do anything about it. When

you. The ladies in my Bible study were

we worry we are preoccupied and

amused by that and oddly enough

unable to carry on minute to minute

we all were a little more frugal with

with integrity of spirit.

our compliments from that point forward. Giving rejuvenates

Make a Memory Remember every given moment has the potential to turn into a memory.

something in us causing the Holy Spirit to burst into life. It is part of who God changed us to be.

Show Appropriate Affection A gentle hug or even a polite pat on the upper arm can do wonders for a person’s well being. Touch has been shown to reduce stress and even relieve pain. I once had a lady in one of my small groups who labeled herself “not very touchy-feely.” God knew what He was doing when he put me in her small group. I’m all about hugs and high-fives at the risk of seeming goofy every time. It’s worth it. I think we communicate such love when we appropriately reach out to others with touch. If words aren’t necessary or there simply are no words, sometimes a hug can fill the moment with

Do you really want to remember

I’m convinced the more we hold

unbelievable connection and

waking up crabby every morning?

onto things the more jumbled we

meaning.

There’s no need to put pressure on

become and the less free we are.

yourself to be chipper and attentive

Recommended book on this topic:

at every single moment, but why not

Smile More or Find Something

Practicing his Presence by Brother

pour yourself into your spouse, your

to Laugh About

Lawrence

friends, your children, all of your loved ones, including yourself at times? Why not build something with your days instead of tearing down with incessant complaining and bitterness? Give (of your time, valuables, encouraging thoughts…etc.)

“I don’t ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they and they are beautiful.” Pete Hamill Did you know that every time you smile you release endorphins and lower your blood pressure? What does this have to do with making the

“Let us go right into the presence of

most of every moment? Life is short.

God, with true hearts fully trusting

We never know when our time is up.

him.” Hebrews 10:22

Wouldn’t it be wise to spend the time we have doing things that are good

I think the main man himself said it is

for us—that help us to light up and

far better to give than to receive. It

glow for God? Smiling and laughing

feels good to get things and by

are attractive attributes. Find yourself

things I mean stuff, compliments,

a little funny. I do.

love—you name it. I know you’d agree it feels good to get.

© Exemplify 2009

Look for our review of Practicing His Presence by Brother Lawrence in October!

The One about Online Dating EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Written by Christy McGraw

I did something at the end of May that many single girls debate about doing or do. I joined an online dating site. To be honest I really did not pray about it but in a moment of weakness and wanting I joined. I have talked about it with several friends over the years and always thought that it was not something I would like doing. After hearing about a few more engagements and pregnancies among friends I wanted that too. Let’s be honest I was desperate. For what my friends had, for love. So at first I was doing well with the site, I had a few rejections and felt a little down but I had talked with one guy and he seemed nice. Slowly over the next week I became more obsessive with the

site and logged on several times a day. And I became more discouraged. I would feel rejection when a match was closed. I would feel like I was not beautiful enough, smart enough, or interesting enough. I would read a profile and be quite interested in the fellow but nothing would come of it...and again, discouragement. There would also be hilarious times, funny messages and the like, but I was still feeling the sting of the rejections. After realizing what I was doing I set some firm boundaries about the website. I only visited the site once a day and did all of my communication at that time. More importantly I started asking God to help me in this area. I had not been earnestly seeking His Face.

© Exemplify 2009

Once I started seeking my Abba Daddy’s wisdom the more uncomfortable I felt about the whole thing. Finally after a great deal of heart searching I closed my membership as a paying member. Because I was not comfortable with the whole process and more importantly I did not feel like I could meet my spouse this way. I love emailing and chatting online with friends but there is something about doing it with someone that could be a potential mate that made me uneasy. For that kind of relationship I needed face to face. I am not meant to be an online dater. I have several friends that are. In fact one dear friend is in a serious relationship with a fabulous guy she met online.

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

I learned two things from the experience: The first is that online dating is not for everyone. And you know what? That is okay! If you joined an online dating site and enjoy it that is fantastic, but if you feel uncomfortable with it, as I have learned, that is okay too. One of my favorite things about our God is how He made each of us so unique! The second thing I learned is that when my impatience and wanting gets the better of me, it is usually because I am doing what I want without the guidance of my Abba Daddy.

best for me in the years to come. Our God knows this. And He tries to show us this (sometimes more than once!). I think that our impatience always comes from our wants. I want a husband. I want children. I want to be someone’s beloved. I, I, I. It is when thinking with the I in front of things that impatience comes. It always comes back to one thing for me. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. --Psalm 37:4 (NIV) Instead of delighting in Him, I was delighting in me.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. --Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) When I think of patience I often think of the fruits of the Spirit. Because often if we are lacking one of the fruits it is not long before we are lacking the others. My lack of patience soon led to a lack of self-control...then I was losing my peace, my joy, and my faithfulness. Because I wanted something so much I lost my patience with God’s plan and reverted to my own plan. One would think I would have learned this lesson by now! My plan is never as wonderful as God’s. Never. What I want at this moment in time may not be the

It is only through my delight in Him that my desires will be His desires. Instead of delighting in Him I choose to go my own route and find myself a husband. After a month of discouragement and being uncomfortable I realized His desire for me was not online dating. His desire for me is also not impatience. Impatience seems to come when my wants get in the way of my relationship with Him. Impatience is one of the many things we single girls are going to struggle with constantly. I know for me when I am confronted with engagements, marriages, and babies I have a tendency to get even more antsy about not being in a relationship! It goes back to one simple thing. I already have a beloved. I am His.

© Exemplify 2009

He is mine. He is and will always be more than enough.

“I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;” Song of Solomon 6:3

“I tried to find a step-by-step set of instructions in the Bible for exercising patience. No such luck. But what I did find was the real answer to having patience...”

Enabled Patience Written by Andrea

One of the things I struggle with the most as a mom is impatience. Some days are good. I am able to keep my temper in check, laugh at the crazy doings of my wonderful kids, and overlook the little things that ordinarily drive me crazy. But then there is the rest of the week. Little things like messes, sibling spats, and constant interruptions when I am trying to get something done can drive me to absolute distraction. And try as I might, eventually at some point during the day I will lose my patience and my temper to the dismay of one of my unsuspecting family members. And usually more than once. It’s not pretty. I could blame a variety of things. I could blame my own childhood, where my mother failed to demonstrate patience with me. I could blame my “passionate” personality. I could blame the fact that I am also a very open person and have difficulty suppressing how I feel.  While I may think I am restraining myself, the reality is the other person is experiencing a very intense flood of emotion from me.

© Exemplify 2009

But as I have been studying patience, God has very gently shown me the true cause of this bitter fruit: My lack of trust in Him. You see, the reason I bear the fruit of impatience isn’t because of my personality. The truth is I get frustrated because I can’t control the actions of the people around me. I expect my family to adhere to the standards I have set for myself, and when they don’t, I don’t know how to handle it. When they fail to reach my expectations, I feel like I have failed because I cannot control their behavior. In all of it, I am guilty of wanting complete control of my life and my children’s lives, rather than simply trusting God. Nowhere in the Bible can I read of a time where the solution to a person’s problems is to yell and scream at the offending people. Instead, God admonishes us to be gentle. Kind. Humble. Patient. I tried to find a step-by-step set of instructions in the Bible for exercising patience. No such luck. But what I did find was the real answer to having patience: Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8, NASB

Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, MSG Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12, NASB (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:7, NIV Love is patient. 1 Corinthians 13:4, NIV When I am fully trusting in God, fully submitted to Him, I am filled with His fruit, especially with His love. That love enables me to overlook the minor offenses that occur throughout the day. That love enables me to look for the best in my children, to do my best to bring it out. That love enables me to be patient. It’s going to take a long while for me to get the hang of keeping my patience. But eventually, this root of not putting my trust in the Lord will dry up and discontinue bearing fruit. In time, my roots will be deeply and fully established in His love, allowing me to bear the sweet and juicy fruit of patience instead. I can hardly wait!  

WAIT FOR 10 MINUTES OR LESS

Written by Carol Moxley

With busy schedules and jammed to-do lists, waiting, even for 10 minutes or less, can be nerve wracking! Here are a few ways to wait it out patiently and productively. •Plan ahead. Keep a small notebook in your purse to jot down reminders or begin a to-do list. Your handheld is perfect for this as well. •Keep your nails neat. Whip out a small nail file or buffer to repair neglect and add some shine. •Catch up on your reading. Newspaper and magazine articles are purposefully designed to be read in a few minutes. Having reading material handy when you anticipate a wait lets you slip in those quick reads. •Story Time! If the kids are with you, reading to them can keep you relaxed while entertaining and containing them. Take a few kids’ books when you’re out and about. •Make a quick call. Keeping that to-do list at the ready allows you to whip out your phone to schedule an appointment or make a quick inquiry. •Thank someone. Thank you notes will never be

out of style. It only takes a few minutes to craft a note of appreciation and it’s more productive than staring at waiting room walls. •Exercise your brain. Work on a crossword or Sudoku puzzle while you wait. It can be put away when your turn comes and finished another time. •On hold at home? A load of clothes can be folded in about 10 minutes. Or . . . •Sweep the floor. Either use your hands-free device or speaker phone to know when the other party has returned to the conversation. •Debris your vehicle. While waiting for the gas pump to fill ‘er up, gather trash from your car and pitch it. •Enjoy a healthy snack. By keeping a granola bar or package of nuts at the ready, your wait time won’t make you cranky about the lunch time delay.

•Doodle. When was the last time you simply drew a few flowers. So what if you’re not an artist? It’s not like they’ll go on exhibit. Come on, it’s fun! •Daydream. Good old fashioned day dreaming can thwart stress. Mentally plan your dream vacation or redecorate your bedroom while you wait. • Keep verses in your purses! Jot scripture onto 3x5 cards that can be pulled out any time. Hide the Word in your heart while you wait. (Tip: Use purse-sized photo albums with plastic sleeves to protect your cards. They cost about a dollar.) •Pray. It’s hard to stress out when in prayer. Lift up a friend in need. Or pray for a stranger who is waiting alongside you. Even if you don’t know their needs, He does! (Tip: Use one of the plastic sleeves mentioned above to keep your prayer list tucked in with your verses.)

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

© Exemplify 2009

Bible Study Written by Victoria Jenkins

Patience - The Lucky Ones Before we dive into the riches of Scripture, let’s join together in prayer.  It is so important to seek Godly wisdom before venturing into His Word.  Let us not lean on our own understanding, but on that of our Lord.   Father, as we study from Your Word today, we ask that You would fill us with Your supernatural wisdom so that we might understand the lessons You have for us.  Lord, please give us ears to listen and hearts to obey as we seek to apply Your Truth to our lives, daily.  Thank You for this time in fellowship with those who walked the streets with Christ Jesus.  Your Word amazes and we’re so grateful to be able to nourish our souls with these precious Scriptures.  It is in the name of Jesus that we pray.  Amen.   I love a list.  A beautifully designed compilation of plans neatly organized on the page just brings a smile to my face.  Often, I feel so accomplished in my list making that I no longer feel the need to perform the tasks on said awesome list.  That truly reveals the appeal of planning, doesn’t it? Being in control, establishing order among chaos, and grabbing the reigns can be quite enticing. 

  List some areas in your life that you desire to have control over.   Absolute power does, in fact, corrupt absolutely.  Just having someone add to my picture-perfect list of to-dos creates a rebellious desire to scrap the list and any notions of productivity that I may have had.  All too often, that includes any additions or edits that our Heavenly Father might have in mind.  It isn’t that I don’t desire to live a life of obedience to the Lord; it all comes down to an issue of patience.   “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9, NRSV

time and space while our own understanding of circumstance and consequence can only reach as far as our very limited field of view.  We can’t see what is yet to come, we can merely speculate and hope for the best.  Any real sense of hope rests solely in waiting on the Lord.  We don’t know what motives and secret desires dwell within the hearts of our fellow man.  Only our Sovereign King can see such things and steer us clear of potential perils.   “Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.” Proverbs 19:2, NRSV

It is so much easier to run with our own ideas than wait for God to reveal His, but the easy route never stays easy for long and instant gratification fades with time.  As fallible, foolish beings we must rely on the wisdom of our Lord to shape the decisions of our lives.  His unique and all encompassing worldview—a combination of omniscience, omnipresence, and, omnipotence—transcends

Can you name a time when a decision you made on your own failed to go according to plan? Did you feel God leading you in another direction? Did you consider what God wanted for the situation at all?  

© Exemplify 2009

In our haste to go with what feels right we make our own plans and things fall apart.

Of course, we can’t stand motionless waiting for divine intervention to come and handle life for us.  There is more to being patient than simply waiting on the Lord; we must also trust in His Sovereignty.  Allowing God to perform His role as the exclusive ruling party in our lives is key to our spiritual survival.  When faced with uncertainty, we have to fight our impulse to come up with a plan on our own.  It is in these moments that we must happily place our hope in God alone.  We’ve got to know that our Father is for us and with us through all things.  Instead of coasting through the good times we must be still and know that He is at work for our good.    The most wonderfully humbling aspect of patience is that we never wait alone.  Through all of our failed attempts to commandeer our destinies, God is waiting for us to stop in our man-made tracks so that He can put us back on that narrow path to eternity.   God, the Master, The Holy of Israel,    has this solemn counsel: "Your salvation requires you to turn back to me    and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down    in complete dependence on me— The very thing    you've been unwilling to do. You've said, 'Nothing doing! We'll rush off on horseback!'    You'll rush off, all right! Just not far enough! You've said, 'We'll ride off on fast horses!'    Do you think your pursuers ride old nags? Think again: A thousand of you will scatter before one attacker.    Before a mere five you'll all run off. There'll be nothing left of you—    a flagpole on a hill with no flag,    a signpost on a roadside with the sign torn off." But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you.    He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right— everything.    Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.                       (Isaiah 30:15-18, Message)    

“He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.” How is this passage of Scripture speaking to you today?   In those moments when we’re most tempted to plot a course of action and “rush off on horseback”, we can recall the imagery of this Scripture and picture our Father literally waiting for us to put our lives into His hands.  God is waiting for us to give up the struggle for power in order that He might bless us.  Memorizing this portion of God’s Word and visualizing Its reality can surely bring a girl down from her high horse!    Such humility is a great weight for the lofty spirit, but it can only point us toward a place of waiting.  Humbling ourselves prepares us to receive the Spirit-produced fruit of patience; it doesn’t create the stuff.    Read Galatians 5:22-23, underlining each attribute listed.   Included among this list of Godly character traits, you’ll find patience and self-control.  What you will not find is the plural form of the word “fruit”.  Notice the words leading into that list, “…the fruit of the Spirit is…” Singularly, the Spirit produces each of the items mentioned.  Not some of them, not most of them—all of them!  In the following verses we learn for whom this fruit is intended and how we can better allow the in-dwelling Holy Spirit to produce it.   “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit” (Galatians 5:24-25).   Can you name one such desire or passion of the flesh that you have allowed to die in order to better free you up to live by the Spirit?

such laws!  We become the exception to the rule when we live by the Spirit and living by the Spirit will naturally produce the fruit we crave.   “There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:3-5, The Message)!   Oh, Father, how You amaze.  We truly are the lucky ones, as Your Word tells us.  Your faithfulness, Your out-pouring for our every need, and Your mercy in our times of unbelief are all gifts too precious to describe.  For You alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is in You.  Lord, please instill in me a desire to live for You in every decision.  I ask that patience and selfcontrol grow so deep within that I can’t imagine making a plan without You at the helm.  You know my struggles, Jesus, and today I give them to You.   

Father, please take the reigns as I... ___________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________

How did the Spirit begin to guide you, thereafter?   The natural law of things, as stated in Galatians 5:17, is that the desires of the Spirit and of the flesh will always be in opposition to one another.  Praise God that we, as followers of Christ, are set free from

_______________________________________

Amen.  

© Exemplify 2009

Patience Pie Written by Patty Wysong

Feature Article

Since I'm not a patient person by nature, I often wish for a patience pie that I could stick my thumb into and pull out patience like Little Jack Horner did with his Christmas pie and a plum. But if I were able to do that, I don't think I'd find that elusive quality of patience. I suspect I'd find a few ingredients that I didn't realize were in a patience pie until just recently. One of the first things I might pull from a patience pie is distraction. I have a set of Little House on the Prairiebooks that traveled thousands of miles with me when I was growing up, and one of the things I remember from Laura's life is a great example of this  ingredient in the patience pie. Pa, Ma and the girls were in the wagon and Mary and Laura were bored. It felt like they weren't getting anywhere. Pa pointed out a tree that was a little ahead of them and had them watch it, just to see how long it took to reach it...and...it...took...f.o.r.e.v.e.r. Next, he pointed out another tree, further away this time, but rather than sit and stare at the tree, they were to look at other things and see what they could spot all around them. In no time at all they were passing the tree. What was the difference? Their focus. It's that old adage all over again, a watched pot never boils. When I dig into the patience pie I might find this verse David wrote after he had been anointed king but before he took the throne.  Wait for the Lord;  be strong and let your heart take courage;  yes, wait for the Lord.  ~Psalm 27:14   David waited years before taking the throne, but those were full years for him. They were an advanced  training ground for being a king and leading his people. Without those years he wouldn't have been the great leader he was. His waiting was time well spent, and a good example for us. The waiting God calls us to is not a passive waiting. It's not sitting there and getting bored while twiddling your thumbs, but rather an active and expectant waiting. Not something that we do for a brief moment and then check off our list. It's an ongoing activity and it can be time well spent for us, too. Thankfully, God doesn't leave us clueless when He tells us to wait on Him, He gives us some direction to take while we wait. He directs our focus, if we let Him. Wait for the Lord and keep His way...  ~Psalm 37:34

We're to keep His way. What way? Well, the way He's pointed us and the jobs He's given us to do. He's given each of us gifts, talents and even personal preferences that we're to use for Him and for His glory.  In Matthew 5:16 Jesus said, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” If we just sit there and wait and wait and wait, never moving or doing anything, God cannot shine through our Christ-likeness and our good deeds as He wants to. We're to use whatever He's placed in our hand, whether it's a spatula, lesson plans, business plans, our voice, or even just our sincere smile. Whatever He's given us we're to use to declare His greatness. Keeping His way and doing the things He's given us to do can help us through our times of waiting. They can help distract us, giving us a measure of patience in the face of waiting. Another thing I might find in that patience pie is thankfulness. You see, many times when I'm struggling with patience I'm also struggling with thankfulness. That's when I'm not thankful for the progress that hasbeen made or I'm not thankful for the circumstances I'm in. In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~1 Thessalonians 5:18  That lack of thankfulness quickly gives way to discontent and dissatisfaction. If we're sitting on the wagon seat with Mary and Laura Ingalls watching the appointed tree creep ever-so-slowly closer to us, we'll become impatient. But if we're looking around, getting our eyes off ourselves and our dissatisfaction, the time passes quickly, whether we're waiting on God, on our family, or on our circumstances. Patience is all about timetable and expectations. When our expectations are not met in the time frame we want, we become impatient. But how many of us sit there and stare at our expectations, sighing over and over again? Our time would be put to much better use if we would let go of our timetable, give it to God, and get busy doing other things. We need to take our focus off what we want and put it on God. Many times we think of distraction as not being good, but when it comes to patience, distraction is an ingredient in the patience pie. So the next time you feel short on patience, look around and see what you can be thankful for and what you can do. Offer yourself to the King for service, there's no better distraction to be found.

© Exemplify 2009

*All Scripture quoted for the New American Standard Bible.

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Patterings is the home of:

Featured Blogger

Patty Wysong is happily married to her honey of 20 years and is a homeschooling mom of five kids. They live in the cornfields of Southern Illinois, where her kids grow like weeds and have room to run. Her days are filled with noise, food, family, and writing, but not necessarily in that order.  Patty was saved as a little girl living on the coast of Maine, and had the privilege of spending her teen years in Ecuador as a missionary kid, where her faith became real and and took root in her soul. She's thankful for those years that deeply impacted her life. She feels called to write for God through devotionals, fiction and articles about marriage and marital intimacy—her pen is for God's use. Patterings is a collection of Patty's life. There you'll find short devotionals that stem from everyday happenings that God uses to teach her as well as short stories she's written to convey a message. It's the home of Fiction Friday, a weekly meme where anyone can post fiction they've written and link up, providing links to family friendly, Christian fiction.  Patterings also spotlights newly released Christian fiction and interviews with the authors, often giving away a copy of the book.

pattywysong.blogspot.com Patty is the co-owner of:

© Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Patience: The Pathway to Your Promise Feature Article Written by Isunji Cardoso

I could not help but laugh when I learned that I would be writing an article about patience. You see my life seems like a constant object lesson in patience. In fact, I’m thoroughly convinced that God goes out of His way to seize any and every opportunity to drive the point home. Whether it’s interacting with my elderly father or my threeyear-old nephew, waiting in the checkout line at the Target, or navigating my way home through the infamous DC Metropolitan rushhour traffic, there are a plethora of opportunities for me to practice patience.  Can you relate? I am sure if you take a moment you can come up with at least one incident that tested your patience just today. Maybe it was an annoying co-worker, a difficult relative, the person in the fifteen items or less line with twenty-two items, or stop-andgo traffic, something tested you. If you are like me, some tests we pass and some… not so much! There is another level of patience that goes deeper than the kinds of annoyances we

talked about earlier. This is the kind of patience that is a pathway to our promise. This is the kind of patience that kept Abraham believing God for a child in spite of the fact that Sarah was well past childbearing years.  “When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants." And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” (Hebrews 6:13-15 NIV, emphasis added) Now, I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe that God uses these Abraham/Sarah situations to accomplish something in us. I will probably regret saying this tomorrow… but I believe that patience gets a “bum rap” much of the time. Even the definition in Webster’s dictionary has a negative slant:  “PATIENT: 1) bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; 2) manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain; 3) not hasty or impetuous; 4) steadfast despite opposition, difficulty or adversity; 5) able or willing to bear.”  

© Exemplify 2009

Seriously? With a definition like that is it any wonder that we are often warned that we should never pray for patience? Patience is like the broccoli of spiritual gifts, but like broccoli has a purpose in our lives, so does patience. “Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring about endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects] lacking in nothing” (James 1: 3-4 AMP) This passage speaks to me on a personal level because just last year as I was reading through some of my old journals, it hit me that I had been praying and waiting on God for a mate for exactly 20 years. How’s that for a test of patience?  In all honesty it has been a rough wait at times especially when I watched everyone around me getting married. I questioned whether or not I had really heard from God about this. James 1:3-4 was, and is, a reminder that God’s ultimate aim is to bring us to a place of wholeness in Him and to fulfill His promises to us. 

If this experience hasn’t taught me anything else, it’s taught me the importance of staying focused on the One who promised and trust in His faithfulness. I have also learned that in my own strength I cannot do it. It is only through the help and strength of the Holy Spirit that I continue to stand and if I can do it so can you. Because of God’s presence with me, I have come into a place of contentment right where I am. The contentment came when I finally stopped fighting God on this and trying to make things happen on my own. Instead I made a decision to, “imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” (James 6:12b) I’m content to know that God takes care of me, loves me, and treasures me the way a husband does for his wife. In the mean time, patience is doing a work in me – like allowing me to cultivate intimacy with God on a level that might be harder to reach if I were married for example.  Perhaps your Abraham/Sarah situation is nothing like mine. The same principal applies – we inherit the promise through patience. What has God spoken to you? What is the desire of your heart that has not come to pass yet? What is it you are believing God for? I urge you not to grow weary in the wait, but instead let patience complete its work in you. Stay focused on the One who promised because He is faithful (Hebrews 11:11). Remember God is not a man that He

should lie – if He said it he will surely make good on it (Numbers 23:19). His time table is much different from ours, and the way gets rough at times. However, be encouraged because there isjoy in this journey of patience and more so when we stay mindful that the end result is the promise fulfilled.  I realize this is not exactly a “hallelujah” message, but my prayer is that you find joy, blessing and peace in your patience and never let go of your hope in God knowing hope in Him does not disappoint. 

“We inherit the promise through patience.”

© Exemplify 2009 Blog: The “Quiet” One –http://www.isunjiisat.blogspot.com Esperança Aleluia (yes that’s her real middle name) Urbano Cardoso, she normally goes

Meet Isunji Cardoso

by Isunji, is a natural born storyteller. In fact, one of her earliest report cards includes comments from her Kindergarten teacher about how she entertained my class with her tales of feasting on snake and eggs for breakfast! Even back then, nothing beat the thrill of having people hang on her every word. This was the first of many precursors to her love for writing. Her passion for the written word didn’t come until third grade when she penned her first short story, The Trip to Mars. The flame has been burning ever since.    A member of Toastmasters International and an alumnus of the prestigious, highly competitive Hurston/Wright Foundation’s Writer’s Week (2003), Isunji strongly believes words have power to frame our worlds whether positively or negatively. Words have power to heal and to bridge barriers, to tear down walls and to build up hope. Her greatest desire is to leave the world a little better than she found it through the gift of words that I've been given. Isunji has been walking with the Lord for the past 24 years. Of her journey she says, “I wouldn’t trade a single day for anything in the world!”

Life on the Fringe EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

Wriiten by Judith Roberts

 I wish I could rock glasses like she does. It would save me a good three minutes in the morning.   I also wish I could have her bangs. I love the swoopy-do, but, as much as my hairstylist and I try, my bangs refuse to do that.   I also wish – while we’re wishing, of course – that she didn’t live so far away!   Meet Tricia, the cute and classy mom of two and wife of 12 years, who never fails to entertain over at The Domestic Fringe (http:// thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com/). She is The Fringe Girl.   Doesn’t that just sound cool?   “I write about the ordinary things - family, food, current events and my passions,” Tricia said. “We live in a busy world with multiple distractions vying for our attention, so we rarely take a moment to consider our life experiences. We turn a blind eye to the humor found in line at Wal-Mart or the funny parenting pickles we get ourselves into. Sometimes I find myself so busy that I let life run right over me without enjoying it.  Blogging helps me to 'stop and smell the roses,' as the old saying goes.”  

Tricia is a stay at home mom with two kids, a nine-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter, and is the wife of an electrician turned shepherd of men.   “My husband is a pastor. He has been for about five years,” she said. “When I married my husband, he was an electrician. I never thought in a million years that I would be a pastor's wife. Sometimes I feel like I wear the title 'pastor's wife' like a scarlet A. I'd rather just be Tricia who happens to be a pastor's wife. There's a lot of stigma associated with the title.   “The role of a pastor's wife is often undefined. Different churches have radically different expectations from their pastor's wife. I'm learning to focus on being the woman God wants me to be, despite expectations and others' opinions. This lesson is the same for any woman. We can't do everything well for the Lord, but we can do those few things He has called us to do. It's all about obedience.    “I think the part that is most overwhelming is the weight of responsibility. The pastor and his wife carry the burdens of many in the congregation and community. It helps for me to step away from time to time, clear my mind and get my heart in tune with God's.  

© Exemplify 2009

EXEMPLIFY MAGAZINE September 3, 2009

It's a great privilege and a great responsibility. Since my husband became a pastor, I have much more respect for the women in my life that have filled the role of ‘pastor's wife.’  I definitely have a burden to encourage other women in ministry.”   Part of this encouragement comes from her blogging. Most of the time her blogs are serious with a side of sassy – including one of her most memorable ones, in my opinion, which stirred up some controversy regarding creationism – and it was all unintentional.   This particular blog, “Extreme Mating Behaviors in Mammals” (http://thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com/ 2009/05/17/extreme-mating-behaviors-in-mammals/) was casual, friendly. It discussed her trip to the American Museum of Natural History. True to her style, she threw in some goodhumored jokes and praised the museum’s information. But two sentences apparently rubbed some people the wrong way.   “Truth be told, I hold an unpopular view of mankind and our origins,” she wrote. “I believe in intelligent design and more specifically in creation.”   Seventy-seven comments followed in the next 20 days.   “The feedback to this post absolutely blew me away,” Tricia admitted. “I never expected so many comments or such controversy. I really mentioned that I am a creationist in passing. I expected comments like, ‘I believe in creation, too,’ ‘I'm an evolutionist all the way,’ ‘Science supports evolution,’ (and) ‘You’re a nut-case.’”   Perhaps the most verbally angry commenter was Bobxxx, who was…well, just downright rude.

  “It is an unpopular view with scientists, educated people, and people who are not insane,” Bobxxx wrote. “If you have any intelligence at all, you would have to agree with the molecular biologists…” And so on. You get the picture.   It got heated between Bobxxx and…pretty much everyone else.   “I never expected such a passionate debate to ensue,” Tricia said. “I appreciate the fact that people were comfortable enough to leave comments supporting both creation and evolution. I enjoy hearing from readers who not only agree with me but are confident enough to disagree.”   Tricia’s nice. If someone wants to have a debate with me, I want it to be a polite, intelligent conversation. Don’t get all huffy on me.   “The overall purpose for my blog is to give readers a place to come and relax for a minute or two,” Tricia said. “I'd love them to leave my blog with a smile on their face and a chuckle in their throat. The Bible says in Proverbs 17:22 that ‘a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.’ Sometimes it's hard to keep a joyful attitude when our focus is so often on the bad. Although not every post is funny, I attempt to keep things light and find humor in the mundane.”   She covers those bases well.  

Check Tricia out and find out all about the witty Fringe Girl and her thoughts at The Domestic Fringe. http://thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com/

© Exemplify 2009

The Shape of Patience

Written by Kara

I had one of those days today. You know the kind I’m talking about; where try as you may you still screw everything up. I wanted to show kindness, but instead I ended up being rude and inconsiderate. I wanted to be peaceful but instead I was anxious. I spoke when I should have kept my mouth shut, I was selfish when I should have been giving. I had more character pratfalls than I care to share. If I could erase a few from my memory bank I would. It seemed like every effort towards Christlikeness was thwarted. It’s the kind of day that makes you throw up your hands in despair and long for bedtime and a chance for tomorrow’s new mercies to beckon you to start over again. Or maybe just stay in bed for a couple of days and see if the crazy wears off. Melodramatic much? Yeah, I get that a lot.   My biggest problem is that I beat myself up for being human. For making mistakes that we all make. I want that work that God began in me to be finished already! Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes God just throws back his righteous head and laughs at statements like that? I know he knows we are dust. I know he remembers our frame. I know he sees Christ and His righteousness when he looks at me. And I know He knows how long it’s going to take to get me to completion. And it’s not today. So I think He laughs. At least I hope he does.   I think He can laugh because He knows. He’s not limited by time and space like we are. He knows the end from the beginning and every detail of my speck of a life. Days like this don’t make up my whole life. Praise God they don’t. And on days like this one, I am gently reminded by His still small voice to “Let patience have its perfect work.” This being changed from glory to glory doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process. A lifetime process. What keeps me going at times like this is the knowledge that God doesn’t give up on me, even when I’m

grace in the form of patience. And I know God is one who gives in extravagant abundance. I love what God’s word has to say about it here: “There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” Romans 5:3 The Message.   Oh the waiting game. Whether it’s waiting on your friend to arrive for a lunch date, waiting on God for a mate, or waiting on that perfect completion, waiting isn’t fun. If you’re like me you get anxious. You start to question things. You get impatient. But the more I learn about walking with God the more I realize there is just no way around waiting. It’s written into the fabric of the walk of faith. God has a purpose in it. Let patience have it’s perfect work that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing. (James 1:4-5 NKJV.) There is a glorious result that comes from the waiting that produces patience. And I can’t get there any other way. So I wait.   God brought to my mind the image of the Grand Canyon the other day. I was pondering patience and wanted to have some kind of tangible glimpse of patience having it’s perfect work. And then this picture of the Grand Canyon pops in my head. Without getting into any kind of over my head scientific data, I know that over many years the Colorado river etched it’s way through what we know now as the deep

© Exemplify 2009

magnificent Grand Canyon. I remember going there 20 years ago when I was child. It is truly aweinspiring to see in person. To think that a hard rocky ground can be transformed so dramatically by water is unbelievable to me. You’d think that rock wouldn’t give. But then again the water is persistent (reminds me of a relationship between a Father and daughter that I know). It didn’t happen suddenly, perhaps to the ground’s dismay. Some changes come over long periods of time. But they do come. Oh to let the Holy Spirit course through our lives forever transforming our hard brittle souls into something that is breathtaking in beauty.   I want to be the Grand Canyon. No matter how long it takes.  

 

“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:4

Summer is over and so is the 1st Sizzling Sanctuary Summer Contest. I’d like to say thank you to all of the ladies that participated in this event. I’d also like to invite you to help us make the contest better for next year. This being our 1st contest, we still have a few wrinkles to iron out. If you have any ideas or input on how it can be improved for next year,

My Sizzling Sanctuary Summer Makeover Written by Christy Klein

You may remember that I said I’d be working on my dining room for the summer makeover contest. That didn’t exactly happen. I peeled the wallpaper down, if that counts for anything? But sadly, that is as far as I got in the dining room. I ended up giving my son’s bedroom a much needed makeover instead, which was prompted by the receiving of a free bunk bed. Let me give you a tour. Pleas keep in mind that my before pictures are lacking a bit since I seriously had every intention of redecorating my dining room for the contest. But once my son’s room was finished, I decided one room was enough for the summer. Call me lazy... I’m not in denial. This is the wall near the entrance to James’ room before the makeover. Yes, that is a giant chalkboard I painted onto the wall with a special spray paint. Make a mental note that this, my friends, is a cute idea but not wise. It was always a mess and the carpet beneath it was constantly covered in chalk dust… really. not. attractive. Please ignore the step ladder, bed frame, and paint sample on the wall.

we’d love to hear them.

© Exemplify 2009

Next, we have the focal wall. This wall is the first thing one sees upon This is that same wall now. When I work on a room, I always start with 1 thing that serves as my inspiration for the entire room. Frequently, my inspiration is just a color. Colors speak to me, you see. I must’ve been a rainbow in a former life… kidding. Each and every color God created has it’s own personality. Fortunately, my son and I found a color that we

the Train and Perdy figurines nailed into the scene. Oh, and the sky… complete with glow in the dark stars. Sure it was precious when he was 4, but decidedly not cute for an 11 year old. Time to let Thomas & Perdy go.

both love! This became our inspiration for the room.

James’ new room. The best part about this bed is that it was completely FREE thanks to an “accidental” eBay purchase by my sister. Don’t ask. She’s just gifted like that – it’s one of the reasons we love her so.

I was SO excited when we happened upon this canvas. I fell in love with it right away and it became my new inspiration for the rest of the room.

Here’s the focal wall now. The bunkbed/ desk combo was exactly what we wanted for

The two vases & trinket box are used to pull the different colors out of the canvas and into the room itself. I used the twisted branches to add texture as well as visual interest.

The dresser was from another room and had been painted a solid white. I originally intended to strip it completely and stain it, but once the other layers started to show through as I sanded it down… I was a goner. I’m a sucker for distressed wood. I love to uncover the years of life in these pieces and make it all shine together. I wanted to buy brushed nickel knobs, but decided to save the money and simply repainted the old ones silver to match the bed.

Next, we have the focal wall. This wall is the first thing one sees upon entering the room. I remember spending hours painting that pathetic faux window. There’s even little Thomas

© Exemplify 2009

entering the room.

The bedding and accent pillows came from the clearance section - I think we spent a total of $40 for the sheets, bed cover and pillows.

Moving on to the toy wall. These bins, filled with more toys than there are stars in the sky, were a constant source of contention between my son and I. They were always a jumbled unorganized mess that drove me insane to no end. I am SO glad they’re gone.

Lastly, do you see that door to the right there? That door, along with one other twin and two glass paned doors leading to the balcony, were stained an orangey oak color. I’m sure it was lovely in the 70’s, but SO not happening in my sanctuary! I’m refinishing ALL of the wood in my sanctuary in a black distressed finish topped off with a coat of polyacrylic. That there door was about 12 hours of blood, sweat, tears, and toil. I left the inner panels their original color to add visual interest and depth.

I tried to sell these stars at a garage sale on two separate occasions. They were painted in patriotic colors, and I’m not even sure why I owned them. I think I must have picked them up for a friend who was going through that Americana decor phase. Shame on me for encouraging that. Anyway, I had some black paint leftover, so I gave ‘em each a coat of that and then dry brushed them with the silver. And the clock to the left... yep, that’s the Empire State Building. I put that in there just for Kristen, my favorite New Yorker. I used a cute black & white ceramic vase to serve as his pencil holder. James finally realized that his parents are right (this ONE time) and that he will never play with all those toys. So, we went through them and selected a few he cannot live without. And they fit neatly into this little woven box… sigh. Do you see it on the floor there? It’s just a little thing. Good bye, tiny pieces of worthless plastic that mock me in my sleep.

We picked up this stool for his desk for just $13! I adore the combination of colors and materials. And to be honest with you, I’m pretty sure it’s actually a plant stand. Don’t tell my son.

So there you have it - my Sizzling Sanctuary Summer Makeover. All said & done this room probably cost about $140... thanks to the free bed!

Those round things hanging on the wall there.. they’re chargers… ya know, for your dinnerware. The top one is a dark wicker, and the bottom one has a slightly green and earthy tint to it, woven from some mysterious organic substance. It’s pretty… that’s all I care about.

© Exemplify 2009

Jesus Christ, M.D. Written by Shannon

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” Matthew 9:22 When your members of your family are sick in bed; when friends have fallen ill; or when you’ve been diagnosed, it is only natural to worry yourself sick! It becomes your focus and it is all you think about. And when the doctor is visited and medicines are prescribed, you let out a sigh of relief, relying on prescriptions to make everything better. But is this really the best way to handle these situations? We often forget that God is the Master Healer, and that Jesus Christ performed countless medical miracles. This month, I want to get away from practical ways to stay healthy, and emphasize the importance of surrendering your well-being to the One who gives life. Like so many other aspects of our lives, God has control of our health, yet we try to deny Him by taking control ourselves. We try herbal supplements, trendy remedies for any kind of ailment, and worry endlessly about doctor appointments, medical tests, and diagnoses. Don’t get me wrong: as a future pharmacist, I’m very in favor of staying in shape, eating nutritious foods, taking vitamins, and using medicine as treatment for medical conditions. However, more important than any of these is handing over the reins of your physical body to God.  In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus urges us to give Him our burdens and take up His. God wants us to rely on Him for everything, including physical health. And in Matthew 6, Jesus reasons that we have no reason at all to worry because God knows our needs. And in many miracles Jesus performed throughout the gospels, He emphasized that it was by faith that a person can be healed. Doctors and medicines and pharmacists may have the earthly answers to sickness, but Jesus is the ultimate answer to life! He has the power to heal the sick and raise the dead, and He wants you to trust in the fact that He can do the same for you. He wants your faith, your prayers, and your patience. This month ask Jesus Christ, M.D., to handle all of your medical issues, and rest assured that He is credible and reputable in His line of work.

© Exemplify 2009

My Jehovah-Raphe Written by Tara Rachel

Sometimes I grow weary of looking at my toes. It is early morning on the Sabbath. The sun shines in brightly through the spaces in my walls, yet I can only see the tracks it lays on the earthen floor. I shuffle around, watching my feet move around my sparse dwelling. I raise my eyes as high in their sockets as they can go, but I cannot see above the table. I am ill. I reach my hands back and run them over the permanent curvature in my waist. The roundness of of my rump flattening into the tabletop of my back. Drawing in a breath, I try to straighten. Pain rips through my lower back and hips and I release the tension, allowing myself to fall forward again. Relief rushes through my bones by the dull throb of resistance aches still in my back. I shake away the tears and shuffle towards the door. How many times have I tried to do that in the last 18 years? Eighteen years. It is almost too hard to believe it has been that long.

I long to experience what it feels like to stand up straight. I was a young woman when the affliction came over me. I remember it as though it were only yesterday, only this morning. The darkness that settled over me, paralyzing and bending me into its submission. The cracking and aching and numbness that followed as I tried to straighten myself back into God’s design.

I don’t remember what it feels like to stand straight, but I remember the feeling of being stricken. All around me my loved ones have grown from babes into adults. And after the early years, I could no longer see their faces, how they change, how they mature, how they wear their hair. And my feet. Most people do not pay any mind to their feet with the exception of how much dirt they collect throughout the day. My feet are different. My feet are the only reminder to me that time continues to pass on around me. I have watched the smooth skin of the feet of a young maiden turned into the papery, vein-covered feet of an older woman. The sight of my feet is my constant companion. I have learned not to take them for granted. Oh, how I wish I could raise my head, to look at the sky as the birds fly overhead. To feel the rain fall on my face. To lift my arms in praise to Jehovah. Yes, praise. Is it shocking?

I’ve heard all the arguments before. I have had several versions of Job’s wife in my own life.

“Curse God and die!”

“You’ve been stricken by God!”

And my personal favorite, “What have you done to make God so displeased with you?”

There are times these statements hurt. Times that they feel like daggers being driven into my sideways heart. Times they make my cry and the tears don’t roll down my cheeks but instead fall straight out of my face. There are times I lie on my mat at night, curled in a ball, wondering what on earth could I have done to provoke God’s wrath against me? And He has never given me the answer. I have observed the Law since the days of my youth, had the priests make the proper sacrifices for me at the appropriate times.

I am careful not to say I’ve been perfect. Instead I pray as King David, “Test me, O Jehovah, and try my; examine my heart and mind.” Only He knows the depth of what can be found there. And perhaps what He has found is worthy of this affliction.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure...” I whisper, remembering the words of the prophet. My hand closes into a fist over my bent chest. But the pain, oh, the pain. Sometimes I lie there, tears saturating my linens, wishing for it to end. Needing closure on this misery. Flames of agony licking at my bones, my joints, until I feel that my entire body will be consumed in the blaze of torture. I ache from the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feet. I want to die.

And yet I don’t die. I never have died. And only God knows when I will.

Perhaps I will have this affliction until I die. I have made my peace with that. If this is God’s plan for my life, then there must be something I have done to deserve it. And so for eighteen years I have endured this affliction. I have tried to endure it with dignity. Eighteen years I have treaded carefully. I have hoped in Jehovah-Raphe, my God the Healer, to deliver me from this curse.

And for this very reason, you have found me today preparing myself to head to the synagogue. To the Women’s Court, to hear the teaching of the Word of the Lord. I am bound by duty to the Lord of Hosts, to the One who gives and the One who takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

© Exemplify 2009

I have left early for the synagogue because, naturally, it takes me a very long time to get there. I have to travel on foot, literally watching my feet every step of the way. I tried to stay off the more crowded streets to avoid being jostled by people in more of a hurry than I can physically be. It takes me longer to take the side streets and alleys, but it is the lot I have been cast. The good thing about being bent the way I am is that when I begin to perspire in the hot morning sun, the beads of sweat travel down to the tip of my nose and fall right off my face. I am fortunate that the sweat never drips into my eyes, obscuring my vision like it can with others. Of course, my vision being so limited I guess it would not really matter if the sweat got into my eyes.

I find my heart longing for just a glimpse of the world above me. Just a glimpse. One of my favorite things to do is stand at the edge of a body of water and look at the reflection of the heavens on the water’s surface. It’s the only time I can see past my given vision. But in my feeble condition, trips to the water are few and far between. I must rely on my memories and snippets of grace that have been given to me over the last eighteen years. My people are not kind, which has been the greatest disappointment of this affliction. I would have hoped for help, for charity, and instead I have become an outcast. Perhaps because I now resemble more of an animal than a human being, they perceive that to be my new worth. This affliction has lowered my standing in the created order. These memories flood my heart as I shuffle and jerk my way towards the synagogue. The climb to the mount is uphill and causes unspeakable pain in my lower back and joints. But I will press on. I must make it to the house of my God. If the Lord is not the desire of my heart, then what other reason do I have to live? *

*

*

I can tell by the casting of my shadow that the sun has risen several degrees in the sky by the time I finally reach the synagogue. I lower myself uncomfortably to the first bench I see. How funny, I still use phrases like that! Because it wasn’t the bench itself I saw, but its support legs. Nonetheless my senses tell me it was a sturdy place to rest.

I still have a way to go to reach the women’s area, but my body is just about finished. I close my eyes and will the

warmth of the sun to soothe the stinging pains in my bones. I can hear the synagogue leaders quarreling nearby. Irritation settles over me. I did not come all this way and endure all this pain to hear an argument! I came to hear the Word of the Lord! A thick lump rises in my throat, blocking off my breath, flushing my mouth with saliva. I need the Word of the Lord today. Secretly I hope for a reading from Isaiah the Prophet. My heart needs a message of hope. My heart needs a message of deliverance.

I don’t understand why I have been so downcast today, why the painful memories of the past have haunted me so deeply, why the desire for change is so strong. My stomach is a bit anxious, and I feel a tugging in my soul to leave the synagogue. Something tells me there is nothing here for me today. The thought of getting up and making the trip home wearies me almost as much as the trip to the synagogue itself. I will stay a bit longer. At least here I am not alone. I see the hems of the robes of the synagogue leaders swishing over their sandals, clean and crisp. They move about around me, ignoring me. Shame stabs at me alongside the pain. I am too worthless for even the men of God to bother with. I stare at the ground, tears filling my eyes, when a new set of sandals enter my line of vision. They are tied on dusty feet, and the leather thongs are worn and frayed at the edges. The sandals approach me, padding softly on the court floor. These feet are not like the feet of the Pharisees. I wonder if they belong to a guard or synagogue attendant. If they are coming to eject me from the court, I hope they at least help me to the exit.

The sandals stop a short distance from me, minute clouds of dust rising from their soles. “Please, come to Me,” a voice says kindly.

I recognize it immediately. This is the voice of the new rabbi in the court. The one who has been challenging the synagogue rulers lately. His teachings are revolutionary, and I have enjoyed hearing Him on the opportunities I have gotten. Though I can’t see His face, His voice brings a smile to my face , and His words warm my tired, old soul. He must notice my hesitation, and repeats His beckon. Everything in my flesh says to stay put. The stinging pains shooting up my neck, down my arms and into my legs

But at the same time I am desperate. And if this affliction is a result of my angering God, it will do me no good to disobey one of His servants. I plant my feet firmly on the ground and push myself into my macabre upright position. Bones grind against bone, joints crack. I cry out softly in agony. I shift until I am before Him, the top of my head level with His waist. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes. He steps forward until His feet are directly below my eyes. Oh God, what is He going to do? I think desperately. Am I about to be chastised? Something shifts deep within my heart, stirring within my soul. I am reminded of the words of Isaiah, though they are not the words I had hoped for.

“ ‘How lovely on the mountains are the feet of Him who brings good news, who announces peace and brings good news of happiness, who announces salvation, and says to Zion, "Your God reigns!’ " Chills break out down my arms. I wait to hear what He has to say.

“Woman,” He announces, loudly and with power, “You are set free from your infirmity.” My whole world sways, and I feel as though a crushing weight has been lifted off my body. The darkness that has clouded my soul, so thick and impenetrable the past few days, vanishes in a wisp, as though a brilliant lamp has been lit within my heart. I feel a pair of strong hands on my shoulders, and I know they are His because His feet are still unmoving before me. I have no time to comprehend this, though, because at His touch a fire is lit within my bones. Unlike before, it is not a fire of pain but a fire of power. It is as though a current is transferring from His fingertips into my body. And then it happens. His hands rest gently on my shoulder, exerting no pressure, and yet... my back moves. It moves! I can feel it lengthening inch my inch, bone by bone. And there is no pain! No aching! The power from His hands is a warm fluid on my spine, raising it back into the created image of God. My eyes dart back and forth as the world widens before me. As I straighten, the synagogue comes into full view, glorious in the midday sunlight. I lift my head, expecting the familiar pain in my neck, and instead the sky invites my eyes to take in every amazing detail and cloud.

© Exemplify 2009

Soon I cannot see a thing through my tears. The world I have longed to see again for eighteen years is a mass of watery colors. He still stands before me, though I cannot make out His face through my emotion. I know there is one thing left I have to do. Slowly I lift my shoulders, waiting. Nothing. No pain. I raise my elbows to shoulder height. Nothing. I extend my arms all the way, palms toward the heavens, praise singing from my heart.

I am so choked up again I can barely speak. “Glory be to God!” I cry out, my voice breaking into sobs of joy.

Though my arms and face are still newly outstretched towards the heavens, I can sense the synagogue leaders closing in. Sure enough, their cold words cut into my freedom. “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days.” My heart sinks deep within my chest. God has heard my affliction and answered my cry. I could no more go into that bondage again that I could fly. Not now that I have tasted freedom.

Before I can respond, He speaks again. “You hypocrites!” He chastises. “Doesn't each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?” Silence, with the exception of the sniffling of my nose, fills the court. I dare to look at the leaders, using for the first time my eyes to judge their attitudes. They mutter mutinously, glaring at Him, my healer. Finally the ruler stalks off inside the synagogue, and the others follow.

He remains outside with me, and I look over at Him, my heart swelling with gratitude and joy. He simply smiles, and my soul warms. He doesn’t speak, but my heart and mind race with His Words.

“ ‘... this woman, a daughter of Abraham...’ ”

He knows me. He knows me. He knows I am a Jew. He knows how hard I have tried to keep the Law.

And He also knows it wasn’t enough. My thoughts backtrack. Did I deserve the cursed affliction? I would argue probably not. I consider myself a decent, Law-abiding Jew. But no matter how good I was, obviously there was nothing I could do to buy my freedom. I needed to be set free. And I definitely did not do anything to deserve that.

Once again the words of Isaiah spill into my mind. “ ‘The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...’ ” I quote softly. He smiles and says nothing.

“You proclaimed freedom for me,” I whisper. “You bound up my broken heart.” Still He says nothing but continues to smile.

“You are my healer,” I confess, remembering more words of the prophet. “ ‘You restored me to health and let me live.’ ” And with a mobility that has been a foreign concept for the last eighteen years, I fall on my face at His feet. His beautiful feet. He who brought peace and happiness and salvation to my soul. My tears fall on the tops of His feet, staining the dust in streaks. I gently kiss His toes in worship. My Lord.

He places a hand on my head, ruffling my hair as though I am a child. I stand with lithe ease and draw in breath into my lungs. I’m healed. Jesus. My Jehovah-Raphe. Adapted from Luke 13; Isaiah 37, 52, 61; Job 1

© Exemplify 2009

He remains outside with me, and I look over at Him, my heart swelling with gratitude and joy. He simply smiles, and my soul warms. He doesn’t speak, but my heart and mind race with His Words.

Looking for ways to get involved?

Visit our website for details on current openings. We are looking for bloggers to join our team!

http://twitter.com/exemplify

You can also find us on Facebook! Just do a quick search for Exemplify Online And

© Exemplify 2009 - The contents of this publication are the copyright of either the individual columnists or Exemplify itself and cannot be reproduced in any form without prior written consent from the individual author or editor-in-chief, Kristen Schiffman.

exemplify

Magazine!

Exemplify Online & Magazine PO Box 2162 Round Rock, Texas 78680