November Issue For Exemplifyonline.com Magazine

living lives that glorify

Exemplify Magazine November 2009

Thanksgiving Issue

Learning Your Spouse’s Love Language

Interview with

Julie Leman Author of the Daughters of Boston series

New Blogs at Exemplify Online Be Culturally Relevant Without Compromise Thankfully... Single? Thanksgiving Day Super Foods

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editor’s welcome

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12: 28-29, NIV

Features New Blogs Get acquainted with Exxemplify Online’s newest blogs. You’ll find information on all 5 new channels scattered throughout this issue. Pages 4,10, 14, 22, 26

November 2009 Family Channel Thankful in all things. Page 21

I can remember... the Thanksgiving I felt I had nothing to be thankful for. My Uncle Billy had just been buried after being killed in the World Trade Center attacks against the United States, my boyfriend was undergoing chemotherapy for a tumor the size of a rock and every possible morsel of gratefulness I once had was gone.

Feature Lori Kasbeer writes on joy & thanksgiving in the midst of sorrow. Page 19

Singles Columns

Interview with Julie Lessman Author of the Daughters of Boston Series

Page 28 Thankfully Single? Page 9

He has taught me that in the face of adversity and pain and brokenness and loss there is something that stands. That remains. That is beautiful still. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire”.

(Hebrews 12: 28-29) I don’t know what you face this month. I don’t know what losses you’ve been hit with , what pains you carry.

Sitting in a cancer ward where children are sicker than they ever should be will do that to a person.

Perhaps, this year, you find yourself faced with a horrible diagnosis, as my family.

Burying a loved one will do that to a person.

Or your fiance called off the wedding.

Coming to terms with the fact that this place is nothing more than temporary tissue paper will do that to a person.

Maybe this holiday, this time of Thanksgiving, you find yourself unable to find anything to be thankful for.

The Lord has taught me so much since then.

I want to encourage you to take a good look at the very Father who calls you His child.

©Exemplify Magazine

How To Column Is it possible to be culturally relevant without compromise? Page 15

Or perhaps your husband lost his job.

We have an unshakable kingdom! We are heirs to that which does not fail, falter or fade. We are children of the Most High who not only is worthy of our worship but desires it! Let this be a time of intentional worship for us. Let this be a month where we, no matter what we face, get on our knees in a posture of worship before the King of Kings and thank Him for who He is. Not for the iPods we listen to or the cars we drive but for His all encompassing love. For what He gave so that we could have the assurance that no matter what happens here, amongst all this temporal stuff, we have an eternal kingdom the stands forevermore. Enjoy our magazine this month. It is brimming with praise for the One who He is, who was and who is to come. Death could not hold Him. I promise you, neither will whatever you are faced with.

Kristen Schiffman 2

contents

In This Issue Read about our new blogs! Ministry
Channel
 Singles
Channel Marriage
Channel Family
Channel Devotional
Channel

4 10 14 22 26

Featured This Month:

Guilt
Trip Joy
&
Thanksgiving
in
the
Midst
of
Suffering Interview
with
Julie
Lessman This
Is
How
He
Reminds
Me

6 19 28 31

Columns: Grace
with
a
Side
of
Turkey
&
Dressing The
Book
Nook Thankfully
Single? Need
an
Interpreter? How
to
be
Culturally
Relevant
without
Compromise The
Thanksgiving
Table For
All
Things Thanks
Given Thanksgiving
Day
Super
Foods Fiction:
Jochebed

7 8 9 12 15 16 21 23 27 32

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Throughout this issue of Exemplify Magazine, you will find our new blog channel editors introducing themselves and the blogs they head up. We’ve added Family, Marriage, Singles, Devotional & Ministry Blogs to our website this month. As we begin to roll out our new design and features, you will be getting to know our blog teams very well! Take some time today to read up on each of the channels, scattered throughout this issue and shop for the blog that best suits you. I’ll be blogging at the new Editor’s Blog where The Kettle Club will be hosted as well as our new weekly meme. You can read the details about both of those at exemplifyonline.com/editor/ I’m also heading up the Ministry Team and would love for you to get to know our heart and purpose....

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When I first felt the pull to step out into ministry, I really had no clue where to start. I had no idea the Lord had equipped me with the gift of teaching or the ministry of writing. I really assumed I would end up leading music worship somewhere, while coloring little lambs with children. Because music ministry and children’s ministry were the only two ministry avenues I had ever really seen encouraging women. As the Lord began to pull me out of my comfort zone and open my eyes to the vast avenues of ministry for women, I started to look for encouraging resources to help me better serve Him and the church. I have to say, I didn’t find many. That was 6 years ago. Over this last year I found myself desiring to encourage the women who currently serve in ministry and those who are just stepping out to join the song of service for the kingdom of God. It’s no easy feat working in ministry. It is my hope this new channel of Exemplify will help edify and inspire you to use your gifting with excellence. We have an awesome team of women contributing to this new blog channel. Christa, Shane, Melissa, Sandra and Lisa are women who currently serve in one type of ministry or another. Just editing their articles, I’ve found myself learning and growing! I will also be contributing to this channel from time to time, offering lessons I’ve learned along the road of ministry.

Visit the Ministry Blog Channel at exemplifyonline.com/ministry/ 4

I pray this channel of Exemplify will minister to you as you minister to others and that you find yourself stepping out seeing to the work the Lord has entrusted to you.

© Exemplify Magazine

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Win these earrings! Want to win a pair of these gorgeous earrings? Hop on over to www.etsy.com/shop/jewelzbyjen and browse Jen’s shop for your favorite piece. Then, tweet us a link of your favorite piece in her shop! A random tweeter will win this giveaway! You can tweet us @exemplify!

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Guilt Trip Two days after moving into our home located in a city and state new to my family, we were welcomed by vandals. Smashed eggs, sour and raw, aligned the front porch. A few glances around the historic neighborhood revealed that our house was the only target. I asked a few neighbors if they had ever encountered a similar experience in the quiet town, and they assured me that the incident was an oddity. For the rest of the day a guilt gnawed at me as I wondered what I had done in two short days to make someone dislike me enough to egg my home. The guilt I felt was irrational. I had done nothing to cause the insensitive actions of the pranksters whose motives I’ll probably never know. Yet still, I assigned the blame to me. Accepting the responsibility for the undesirable consequences is a trend of mine, a symptom of people pleasing. In fact, if blame was served to me on a plate, I would grab a fork and gobble it down as if it were a home baked slice of pumpkin pie. When my children misbehave, I often wonder what parenting mistakes of mine caused the misconduct. If their behaviors do not improve, or worsen, I then accept that as proof positive that 6

the woman they call mommy is a giant flop. If my husband feels overwhelmed due to pressures at work, I tend to think his life would be easier if only I was a better wife. If a friend who is having a bad day doesn’t feel better after I try to help by sending a card, I chastise myself for making things worse. Should someone suggest that I had a hand in a troubling situation, I will agree and apologize before taking time to think about the accusation. I am the perfect scapegoat…I eat up blame. I do it for several reasons, all of which are predominantly self-centered, though some disguised as selfsacrificing. Sometimes I do so because I think that I have less value than my accusers. There are also times that I do so to feel as though I have a semblance of control. And, sometimes, I accept responsibility for wrong doings that are not my own because I want to bring peace to a situation. Although Jesus poured out blessings upon the peacemakers, meek, and merciful (among others) in His Beatitude sermon (Mathew 5: 1-12) the erroneous assumption of self guilt is not what the Lamb of God had in mind. My blaming myself for happenstance, misunderstandings, and the misdoings of others does

not point toward Christ. Instead, it draws more attention to me. It also lessens opportunities for growth…personal growth and growth of the other individuals involved. When I mess up, owning my mistakes, repentance, and seeking restoration and redemption are pivotal. It is not ever permissible to pin blame on others. When I am falsely accused, by others or myself, I must first seek the truth. And then lovingly speak the truth. If I soundlessly fill myself with blame, I muffle the voice of God. If I instead fill myself with confidence in the Lord, the peace that shakes all understanding, I have chance to bring glory to to where it belongs, the Almighty God, The Way, The Truth and The Life. Ephesians 4:11-18 (New International Version) “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” ____________________ Angela Nazworth is the wife of a college professor and the mother of a delightfully precocious five-year-old drama princess, and a two-year-old son with aspirations of mountain climbing. Before exchanging her business suits for yoga pants and and peanut butter stained shirts, she worked full time in the public relations industry managing programs, editing publications, and writing copy and articles for magazines, newsletters, Web sites, brochures, educational resources, and other publications. Currently, Angela accepts freelance writing, copy editing, and PR jobs and write regularly at (in)Courage, Five Minutes for Faith, and at her own blog, Becoming Me.net

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and © Exemplify Magazine

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Grace with a Side of Turkey & Dressing

Every year for Thanksgiving my family travels a couple hours to my Great Aunt’s house to partake in all the typical festivities. My Aunt Nancy is a hostess with the mostest if ever there was one. She does everything: the turkey, the dressing, the awesome sweet potato casserole with the brown sugar and pecan topping that I start drooling over sometime mid-August. She makes pies and cakes from scratch. She decorates her home with fall and Christmas décor (and I gotta say, it works!). When I was younger my cousins and I would go throughout Nancy’s house counting Christmas trees. The woman can fill a nook, let me tell you. I always loved her Christmas tree with the old-fashioned bubble lights. I could stare at that thing for hours. Obviously I am easily entertained.

her love for family in the form she is most gifted in sharing. She is a great cook, an incomparable hostess, and hopelessly devoted to her family. My memories of my childhood Thanksgivings are completely filtered through these gifts my Aunt gives in the form of food, Christmas trees and a huge family loving one another.

I think we can approach the lavish gifts of God in the same way my mom approaches Thanksgiving at Aunt Nancy’s. It seems like too much to receive without giving anything in return. Abundant grace, extravagant love, unending mercy, it all seems too much. This free gift of salvation is ours for the taking and no amount of work to repay could ever earn it. But we try. We impose rules upon ourselves. We muster up a list of do’s and When we visit each year, we bring nothing don’ts that make us feel like we measure up, but ourselves and a hearty appetite. We sit or are worthy of what we’ve been given. around visiting with family that we may not That would be the equivalent of bringing have seen all year. We tell stories, some that KFC to my Aunt Nancy’s Thanksgiving. It have been told and retold for thirty or forty just isn’t right. It falls painfully short of the years, but they never get old. My cousins’ kids real thing. In fact, it would be kind of run around and there is always a football embarrassing to do such a ridiculous thing. game on in the background. I have this one I’d probably be laughed right out of the cousin who, though raised in Oklahoma, has house. So why do we try to do the same with always rooted for the Pittsburgh Steelers. God? Why do we try to earn salvation and Always. And most of the rest of us are Dallas grace that is freely, immeasurably given? Cowboys fans so we give him a hard time. The only thing I find that is suitable in the Every year my mom asks my Aunt if we can face of such extravagance is a thankful heart. bring anything. Every year my Aunt No pressing knee-jerk reaction to earn grace, graciously declines. I think it makes my mom just gratefulness. Humility and acceptance. feel guilty. I know it’s just my Aunt displaying ©Exemplify Magazine

I am always thankful that my Aunt hosts our family’s Thanksgiving dinner. What she does for her family is priceless and the memories will last a lifetime. I am infinitely more thankful that I have been given a far more priceless gift in Jesus. I cannot repay God for such a grace. I cannot earn it or even deserve it. But I can fully partake in it, like I do family Thanksgiving. I can bask in the glory of a love that will not let me go. I can enjoy the fellowship of a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I can rest in the fresh mercies of a new day. And I can tell my Savior over and over again how delighted and humbled and thankful I am that He chose me, saved me and is preparing a place for me. And when I get there, there isn’t a thing I can bring to that banquet table. Just myself and my thankful heart. It’s going to rock even more than Aunt Nancy’s house on Turkey day. _____ Kara is a single, thirtysomething follower of Christ who loves to laugh and makes others laugh in the process. She is devoted to all things Autumn and thinks that pumpkins, fallen leaves and fall tv premieres are a highlight of life. She would also like you to know she is the most extroverted introvert you will ever meet.

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With the summer over and the holiday season approaching, I’ve been focusing on the state of my home. My husband and I desired to simplify things a bit and so had an embarrassingly large garage sale. With the extra “stuff” out of the way I can give my home a good cleaning for the winter. Most of my homemaking books survived the decluttering, and one of them is a great how-to guide for deep cleaning: “Real Simple Cleaning: Your Room-by-Room Guide to a Beautiful House” was published in 2007 by Real Simple Books. section with the basic steps for getting the area clean. After that are listed the Next Steps which can be done if you have extra time to clean. Finally, there’s an Extra Credit section with those little tasks that always seem to get forgotten, like degreasing the stove hood or disinfecting switch plates. If you’re really short on time, though, there’s always the 10 Minute Clean, which lists the bare minimum list for when unexpected company is on its way.

For each room, the book then goes into more detail about specifics like how to clean your kitchen counters (listing procedures for nine different types of material) or your furniture and upholstery (twelve different types). There are also instructions for cleaning that room’s accessories, such as small kitchen appliances or The opening letter from Real Simple picture frames. Finally, there’s a section on Magazine’s editor should be enough to get you how to keep that area clean. If that motivated to clean. She says, “There is unexpected company is at your door instead of something redemptive about cleaning: it ten minutes away, each room’s section has a promises a fresh start. When life is a mess, you sidebar on “cheat cleaning” to at least make can always clean, and your outlook (not to the area look good. mention your house) will be improved.” If that doesn’t make you want to get up and scrub something, just flip through the book The next major sections in the book are and look at the photography. In the Real Simple Universe, everything not only matches, “Common Surfaces” and “Stains.” You’ll learn exactly how to clean everything from but also is of the same palette of blues and texturized ceilings (gently clean with an greens. Even the cleaning rags and rubber extendable duster using long strokes), windows gloves match. Sure, my house will never look (use a squeegee), bamboo curtains (a damp like that, but the simple rooms and soothing colors are so peaceful that it makes me want to cloth with distilled water), and laminate floors (a well-wrung mop with water and vinegar). try. You’ll also learn how to get stains out of everything from a wood butcher block to ceramic tile, various kinds of fibers, and The book begins by showing you how to put different types of wall coverings: thirty together a cleaning kit. Each recommended materials in all. tool is pictured and described with an explanation of what it will be used for. The kit includes some natural items like vinegar and In the back of the book is a reference guide baking soda. with a short list of resources and the niftiest cleaning calendar I’ve ever seen. The calendar (in soothing shades of blue and We then jump right into the cleaning, green, of course) is styled after the periodic beginning with a section called “Room by table of elements and shows cleaning jobs that Room.” This is the largest section of the book should be completed weekly, monthly, every and my favorite. It includes instructions for 3-6 months, every 6-12 months, and annually. the kitchen, bathroom, living & dining rooms, bedrooms (including children’s rooms), home office, and laundry room. They all follow the same format. First comes the Cleaning 101 8

“Real Simple Cleaning” contains a wealth of useful information, like how long to keep various health and beauty products, how to remove and re-do mildewed caulking around the bathtub, how to remove lint from your dryer hose, and how to understand the cleaning codes on upholstered fabrics. The book is also chock-full of interesting little tips, for example:

* To prevent rust from forming on a can of shaving cream, brush clear nail polish on the metal ring around the bottom of the can.

* Keep a box of fabric softener sheets by the computer to wipe down the screen. The sheets will leave a tiny film that wards off dust.

* Ketchup can be used to shine copper, as the acetic acid dissolves the oxide tarnish.

* To get rid of ants in the kitchen, leave out a cup of honey mixed with a teaspoon of boric acid.

* To remove sticky decals stuck to window glass, cover the spot with mayonnaise then scrape with an old credit card.

I suppose one downside to reading this book is that I can’t seem to help imagining that, if I follow these cleaning instructions, my house will look just like the serene photos. Never mind that I don’t think I own anything in those calming blue-green shades and the fact that my family and I actually live in our house. Still, there’s something inspiring about looking at photos of clean, simple, beautiful homes. It makes me want to get up and clean my own house, and “Real Simple Cleaning” is an excellent guide for doing just that. It’s an excellent reference for general cleaning methods and also contains some interesting tips and tricks. It has certainly earned its place on my newly decluttered bookshelves. Written by Kate of Proverbs14.com ©Exemplify Magazine

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“...with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

!ankfully Single?

I adore autumn. The crisp air, the changing leaves, the sweaters, the hot drinks. It is my favorite time of year. It also has one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. I love that there is a day set aside for being thankful… and it is a reminder to be thankful more often! So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7 (NIV)

In many things I am overflowing with thankfulness. My family. My friends. Many good things in my life. As I started to think about my column for this month I knew what I was to write about. It had been set in my heart from the time I started this column and I put it out of my mind until I absolutely had to write this. Why? Because the idea of being thankful for my singleness scares me. If I am thankful for my singleness does that mean I need to accept that I will never get married? If I am thankful for my singleness does that mean I am called to singleness? My heart was in a quandary. I know I am suppose to be thankful. I know I should be thankful. As always life goes on even when your heart is in a quandary. The more I struggled with this idea the more my life around me began to close in. Several friends announced their pregnancies. Two friends became engaged. One friend started dating a great guy. Two ©Exemplify Magazine

friends had beautiful weddings. My heart was overwhelmed. I wanted to be part of a couple, I wanted a ring, I wanted that wedding, and I wanted a baby. One of my favorite things about God is that He knows our heart, intimately. When I chose to read through Colossians in my quite time He began speaking to my heart about being thankful for my singleness. “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 (NIV) One of the first things He did was remind me that my singleness was an earthly thing. I had set my heart on an earthly thing and was convinced without it I could not be happy. If I set my heart and mind on earthly things I will never be content. Even if I had the husband and the baby it would not have been enough. At some point over the last few months I had taken my eyes off of Christ and set them on the wants of my heart. Sadly it also tainted how I reacted to my dear friends wonderful moments. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 (NIV) I asked God to help me be thankful for my singleness. To help me be thankful for the place He has me in my life. Everyday my prayer is that He will change my heart and that I will allow Him to fill my heart as only

He can. I was told by a wise lady in my life that if I prayed with a heart of thankfulness that would be a start. She also directed me to Philippians 4:6. For a time I stopped praying for that special someone and prayed specifically for this season of life I am in. Slowly my heart is changing. I am thankful now for my singleness. One of the many reasons is that during this time I can do things married gals cannot do. I can devote more time to my Jesus, my beloved. I can be an encouragement to other single gals. There is also the fact I can do what I enjoy without having to worry about wondering if a significant other would enjoy it. The list could go on! Does this mean I have given up on marriage? Not in the least. It is still a desire of my heart. It is just not the main desire of my heart right now. My desire right now is to continue developing the intimacy I have with Christ that has been getting deeper over the last several months. My heart is still fickle at times and I cannot help but think that I need this process if I want to be a good wife and mom one day. Being thankful is a daily choice I am making. Some days are still going to be hard but as I look back over this process my heart delights in the learning and the love. Christy is on a journey to becoming a woman after God’s own heart. She delights in books, photography, her family and her friends. Christy has a heart for young women and single women. She also loves emails! [email protected] 9

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Join our Singles Blog Team at Exemplify Online for fellow sojourners in the journey. Christy, our Singles Blog Editor, invites you to come along.... There are moments in life that when you think back on them or you are in the midst of them you know they are from our God. I call those moments God moments. This new singles channel is a God moment.

Each year I pray about a word for the year. For 2009 that word has been Journey. I could never have imagined how amazing this year was going to be. A larger portion of my journey this year has been about my singleness. Several months ago God laid upon my heart a desire to write about being a single girl… the struggles and the triumphs. In fact I started thinking about a new blog completely devoted to us single ladies. God had a different plan and I could not be more thrilled.

After much thought and prayer I emailed the lovely Kristen and asked if she had thought about adding a singles column to the Exemplify Magazine. She had been thinking about the idea too and asked me to pray about writing it. I was so excited! Of course I did pray about it but I already knew it was a God moment. So with a grateful heart I started writing the singles column.

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After a few columns I knew that more was still needed. God moment number two was coming and before I knew it I was in the middle of another exciting part of His plan. When Kristen asked me to be the editor of the singles channel I will admit I was some what taken aback. I had literally just started praying about the next step in the ministry God was stirring in my heart and He presented me the very opportunity I was praying for. Another chance to encourage single women! Oh how He amazes me!

important that the apostles changed his name. His name was Joseph but they changed it to Barnabas, which means son of encouragement. I find this very telling of what kind of man he was to the apostles.

This singles channel has come from a place with a lot of prayer and a desire to encourage YOU.

And that is why I find him so important here. To have been given that name means He was an encouragement to them. He walked alongside them and was there for them.

I am delighted to introduce you to the team of writers you will come to know over the next several weeks here on the singles channel. I have had such fun getting to know Kara, Sonia, Isunji, and Lynda and I know you are going to love them as much as I do! Each of these ladies are here because they know and understand the joys and hurts of being single. Our goal is to be your Barnabas. Barnabas has long been one of my favorite people in the Word. We first meet Barnabas in Acts and as you read through Acts you see how he journeys along with Paul and later on Mark. I find it very

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet. Acts 4:36-37

We want this to be a place you come to be uplifted and also to feel understood. A place of laughter and at times tears. Most importantly we want this to be a place where you can see Christ. It is my hope and my prayer that you see Him each time you come here.

So today we start our journey…together. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us!

©Exemplify Magazine

Lk for our Christmas Celeation in Decemr!

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Need An Interpreter? “I thought you said you were going to wash the dishes? Why is there still a dirty glass on the back of the sink?” “No wonder the kids leave stuff all over the place; they learned it from you.” “Are you gonna take out the trash? It reeks!” “Ya know, I would REALLY appreciate it if you would turn off the TV and come help me take care of your children!” “I already told you. Weren’t you listening? Oh, that’s right, you never listen to me!” “I asked you three weeks ago to take all this stuff to the shed. When do you think you might get around to it?” Have you ever had anything like this come out of your mouth that was directed toward your spouse? Maybe you haven’t necessarily voiced those words, but have those phrases have done triathlons in your mind?

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“A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; you can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.” Proverbs 27:15 & 16, The Message I was first introduced to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, in a pre-marital counseling class while in college. The book was great and all; lots of “neat” ideas. But, to be honest, I only read it because I had to. It wasn’t really one of those books I was dying to read or anything. I read it because, well, it was a requirement. Little did I know, though, that in a few years it would be a very useful resource to have at my fingertips. When my husband and I first met and started dating, there were two things that stood out to me about him. First, he was a talker. When we would go on dates, he would talk and talk and talk and talk. To this very day, I don’t remember what he talked about, I just remember he talked A LOT! He would often shower me with compliments, telling me how beautiful I was or how happy he was to have me in his life. While I was flattered, sometimes it did get a little under my skin. There were several times I wanted to say to him, “ENOUGH ALREADY… honey!”

©Exemplify Magazine

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I pray this helps you to find each other’s language of love and learn how to speak it clearly so that you continue to grow closer to each other.

The other thing that stood out to me about my soon-to-behusband was the fact that he was a loner and didn’t want to be with me ALL the time. He was okay with only seeing me once or twice a week. I, on the other hand, thought we should spend every waking hour together, doing fun stuff and making lasting memories. Often I would get very frustrated with him, and he with me, because our ideas of what our relationship should look like weren’t the same. He liked to tell me how special I was and how much he loved me, I liked to go places together and do things exciting. It wasn’t until several, and I mean SEVERAL fights later, that I remembered reading the book, The Five Love Languages. I grabbed the book off the shelf and began thumbing through it. I quickly realized that he and I were speaking gibberish to one another. Let me explain to you what I mean… In his book, Dr. Chapman writes about the importance of knowing how to speak your spouse’s “love language.” Similar to the fact that there are many different dialects spoken in our world today, Dr. Chapman, says that in the area of love, this language difference is evident too. He says, “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.” (The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman, pg. 14-15) Well, hallelujah, I thought to myself. Here’s our issue, we aren’t speaking the same love language; we are expressing our love to each other in the way WE desire to be loved, not in the way the other needs to be loved. Once we discovered this, he realized I needed him to spend quality time with me, and I realized he needed me to affirm him with my words. I needed to lose the nagging and shower my man with compliments and encouraging words. After this, things got a whole lot better in our relationship. We began feeling true love from each other because our needs were being met. Dr. Chapman says that there are basically five emotional love languages spoken and understood by people. Today, I’d like to briefly share those with you. If you find yourself feeling empty, unloved, and unappreciated it may be that your spouse doesn’t know how to speak your language. And, if you find your spouse appearing to feel empty,

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unloved, and unappreciated, it could be that you aren’t speaking his language either. I pray this helps you to find each other’s language of love and learn how to speak it clearly so that you continue to grow closer to each other.

1. Words of Affirmation- words spoken or written that affirm, encourage, and let your spouse know that you value them. 2. Quality Time- giving someone your undivided attention. 3. Receiving Gifts- home-made gifts or purchased gifts mean a great deal to the one who feels loved most when receiving a gift. 4. Acts of Service- “doing” in order to make your spouse feel loved. 5. Physical Touch- literally reaching out to touch your spouse, be it through a gentle kiss, caress of the skin, or physical intimacy. At the Tower Of Babel, God confused the language of the people causing the people to have to exert more effort in order to be able to understand one another. Learning your spouse’s love language may require effort on your part; it may even be a little uncomfortable to begin with. But, I can assure you, once the two of you start speaking a language that’s understandable, great things will happen in your relationship. Whatever your spouse’s language of love might be, go “speak” it to him right now expressing to him how thankful you are for all he does to provide for your family and how honored you are to be his wife. I bet he’ll “speak” back! _______

Jenifer makes her home in North Carolina with her husband of ten years, three children, and English black lab, Bella. On a typical day, if there is such a thing, you will find her sipping a cup of coffee, home schooling her children, and digging into the Word. A former pit-dweller who has been saved by God's amazing grace, Jenifer has a burning passion to share with women of all ages His unconditional love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.

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Marsha, the Editor of Exemplify’s new Marriage Channel, invites you to check out exemplifyonline.com/marriage/ ... It’s every little girl’s dream, marry Prince Charming, go running off into the sunset together and living happily ever after. You come home from your honeymoon and you discover that Prince Charming leaves a trail of dust everywhere he goes. His mother always picked up after him and he just assumed you were his new maid service. You overlook it because, well, you’re in love. A few months into the marriage you begin to get emails from your Mother-in-law with recipes in it. It turns out Prince Charming told his mother you don’t cook as good as she does. So she helps you out with a few recipe he loves. It’s getting harder to hide your frustration and this time you lash out at him and have your first fight. The path to oneness is strewn with dirty dishes, hectic schedules, and bad advice. For some, one of the partners veers off the path and infidelity threatens their oneness. Every marriage has its ups and downs. That’s to be expected. But when we find ourselves fighting the same battles over and over, we begin to build a wall around ourselves and became isolated from one another. Two people living under the same roof, but living totally separate lives. Oneness is broken. My name is Marsha Harwood, editor of Exemplify’s Marriage Channel. I’d like to welcome you to this new feature on Exemplify Online. I’m thrilled to be a part of this talented, dedicated group of women. Three times a week we will bring you thoughts to inspire you in your marriage, tips to improve every area of your marriage, and we’ll even laugh at ourselves on occasion. I’ve been married for nearly 36 years to the same man. I say the same man, but to be honest, over the years Mike and I have changed and grown by the grace of God. We are no longer that starry eyed, hormonally driven, 20 and 21 year old couple that thought they knew what oneness meant… sex. Little did we realize that was only a small section of the path to oneness. What is oneness actually about? Companionship. In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (NASB) And in Genesis 2:24 He tells us to set up our own household and not run to mama and daddy for everything. Ouch! Mike and I have tripped and fallen on our path and we’ve enjoyed the warmth and tender moments along the sunny stretch. I’m looking forward to sharing the good and the bad with you in hopes of shedding some light on your path and hopefully strengthening our marriages. A monthly feature on Exemplify’s Marriage Channel will be a question and answer time once a month. Please feel free to email me your questions pertaining to marriage and I will do my best to answer or find someone who can. Besides the nearly 36 years of marriage, I’m also a Biblical counselor. I do not claim to have all the answers, but I will do my best to point you to the One who does. I can be reached at [email protected]. Our first Q & A will be posted on Monday, November 30. Please send in your questions by Saturday, November 21. Be blessed as you walk the Path to Oneness together with the one you love. 14

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How to Be Culturally Relevant without Compromise Culturally speaking, King Solomon had it all. He had wealth, romance, comfort, wisdom, leadership; power…the list is endless. As one might say in modern lingo, “He had it goin’ on.” And what did cultural guru King Solomon write in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11, “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” This verse is precisely why being culturally aware without compromising is so important. Nothing on earth satisfies the way only God can. Why do we care about being culturally relevant? If we are cognizant of how people attempt to fill the need only God can fill, we’re better equipped to offer the Truth of Christ. Understanding and empathizing with others requires us to build trust and walk across bridges sometimes. We can’t expect someone to

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know Jesus if they’re at a completely different place in life or if they’ve only ever been turned off by religion. If we have any hope of reaching them, we need to meet them where they are and lovingly explain how Jesus wants to be there too. Jesus instructed His disciples to go and make disciples. In order to relate with others we need to know about them, to know what they care about, think about and that includes what they purchase and watch on TV. Once we know what’s hot and what’s not, we’re wise not to buy into all the nitty gritties of fashion and Hollywood trends. Why don’t we want to compromise? I can easily name five good reasons:

• “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” (John 15:19)

• “I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the

world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” (John 17:14-15) • “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this…to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27) • “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?” (James 4:4) • “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world —the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does —comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” (1 John 2:15-17)

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I qualify awareness and knowledge as cultural relevance. We don’t have to be of the world. Instead, we can be a wise, socially conscious and non-partaking soul in the world, while not being torn to shreds by its immorality.

Practical ways to be culturally relevant without compromise:

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Know What’s Goin’ On

The best way to be alerted of the latest happenings is by simply reading the newspaper, watching news programs or checking news sites online. When we are abreast of cultural differences and the goings on in the world, we’re more prepared to interact with others knowledgeably. And living, breathing and loving God is about living in relationship with others.

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Gauge Your Temptation Meter

“I can’t even go to the grocery store checkout lane without being bombarded with suggestions for a more fulfilling life. A better sex life. A better career. A more beautifully decorated house. The magazines seem so slick, their promises so enticing. And they do bring temporary excitement. But every single thing the world offers is temporary.” ~ Lysa Terkeurst from Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl

While watching the news, checking out the latest fashion trends or entertaining the idea of watching The Oscars or the VMA’s, know your limits. Know what has the potential to start playing on your mind. You know the, “Wow, she’s way prettier than I am. I’ll never look that good.” Or the, “Why didn’t God bless me with a talent like that?” Danger zone. Turn it off. Throw out the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Out. It’s not worth knowing who dissed who on the latest award show if your mind is going to be messed with comparisons and lies.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

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honest with us help us to realize whether or not we’re walking the fence or if one leg is dangling too far into the world. Are we swearing like a sailor, paying too much attention to our wardrobe, watching TV all I’ve never worn black nail polish, never had day long, so enthralled with online sites we feathered bangs, never got my nose or belly don’t know how to interact in person button pierced or my ears double pierced and anymore or has anything of the world I’ve never had anyone lace a string through garnered our attention more than it should? my eyebrows to lift anything on my face. I’ve Friends and those in our inner circle are the never watched an episode of Sex in the City best people to hold us to Truth on this one. or Desperate Housewives for that matter. I’m Meanwhile, if we are at a secure place of not a trend follower. And I’m still alive and faith, this is the best time to REACH OUT. my heart is still beating. Do I like some Meet people unlike yourself. Study different secular things? Sure, and I’m not afraid to cultures. Get to know what makes people read secular books, watch secular shows on different than you tick. Then interact and occasion and listen to secular music, but I’ve love them. Love them. never felt like I just had to [fill in the blank]. I thank God for discipline, boundaries and conviction. •

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Know the Trends, but don’t be Slave to Them

Be Familiar with What’s Hot and What’s Not (lingo, top selling books, popular TV shows, hit movies, who kids are emulating…)

“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” ~ Herman Melville

There are ways to live in this world while not being of this world. It’s essential we learn to This brings me to the next way to be communicate God’s love. One of the best culturally relevant without compromise. I ways to communicate involves mirroring and have a close friend who read The Da Vinci empathizing with others. How can you do Code so she’d be better able to answer either of these things if you don’t know the questions when her non-believing friends “other” well enough to be able to mirror or peppered her with them. I respect her empathize? Know what’s goin’ on while decision to take something many Christians accurately gauging your temptation meter frowned upon and find a way to use it to (aka: conviction.) Know the trends and what’s bridge the gap between belief and non-belief. hot and what’s not. Lastly, trust friends to The more we know about what’s hot in the hold you accountable as you risk relationship world the more we can hold that particular with those who are nothing like you. Just thing up to the light of Christ and His Truth. think, in His perfection Jesus was nothing like us and He came down to our place of living to risk all. “We live in an era when traditional beliefs _________ have been tossed aside and when popular culture—television, movies, music—displays terribly corrosive morality. Families are much shakier than they used to be. You can no longer assume—if you ever could—that solid values will be passed on from one generation to the next. Building families takes careful, intentional work.” Tim Stafford, from Never Mind the Joneses Wendy Miller is a butcher (of words as she edits her novels), a baker (of birthday cakes and treats for her Trust your Inner Circle while • beloved family members and friends), and a Discussing Trends and Reaching out candlestick maker (not quite, but she enjoys crafts of to your Outer Circle all kinds). She appreciates the outdoors, writing and laughing with loved ones. Wendy’s mission statement is to a live a passionate life filled with compassion, Accountability is a wonderful way of assuring grateful to be called daughter of the Most High God. Visit Wendy at http:// we haven’t strayed too far from where we thoughtsthatmove.blogspot.com/ or http:// want to be with Christ. Friends who are ©Exemplify Magazine

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The Thanksgiving Table

I love Thanksgiving. It is at the top of my Favorite Holidays list, second only to Christmas. And maybe that’s why I love Thanksgiving so – it feels like the gateway to the Christmas season. Of course, it could also be the succulent cranberry glazed turkey, green bean casserole, herb pull-apart rolls, pumpkin pie, and peppermint fudge that steals my heart year after year. Maybe. One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is having the opportunity to make the holiday special for my family and guests. Now, the feast is important – nobody likes a dry bird or burnt rolls – but the presentation of said feast is most important. I figure, if you do happen to have a dry turkey or lumpy gravy, then at least your guests will have something pretty to look at while trying to hide their food in the napkins. I try to pull out all the stops when it comes to my Thanksgiving table and I decorate it differently every year. And because I’m so nice, I’m going to share with you some of my favorite ideas. Another theme I really liked was the cornucopias. I purchased a large cornucopia basket and filled it with leaves, acorns, pine cones, and mini pumpkins and gourds. It was a perfect representation of autumn and so colorful. But my favorite thing about the table that year were the mini cornucopias I made for each place setting. I took sugar ice cream cones and filled them with mixed nuts, bits of dried fruit, and small candies for added color. My guests thought I was so clever! I didn’t have the heart to tell them I saw it in a magazine… Ssshhhh! One year, I had a scarecrow theme and my kids loved it! I used a couple of plush scarecrows and mini bundles of hay as the centerpiece. For the place cards, I purchased several small scarecrows on stands and attached the place cards to them as if the scarecrows were wearing them. I always use place cards, especially if we’re having several guests. I don’t know why, but place cards make people feel special… maybe it’s the knowledge that you planned a seat for them at your table.

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My absolute favorite Thanksgiving table setting has to be the year I decorated with apples. The centerpiece was a huge trifle dish filled with several varieties of apples, pine cones, and sprigs of pine. It was so earthy, extremely elegant, and ridiculously inexpensive to put together. I also used apples to display the place cards. I made a small slit in each apple near the stem and slid the place card into the slit… so beautiful.

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I’ve also learned two easy ways to make napkin rings that coordinate with your table decor. Using inexpensive beads and elastic cording, you can make tiny stretch bracelets to fit around your napkins. The possibilities are endless with this one!

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Another fun napkin ring (edible too) can be made with a cookie and some wired ribbon. When making your favorite sugar or gingerbread cookies, make a few with a small hole near the top. You can do this by piercing the cookie with the end of a straw (preferably a straw that has not already been chewed on by a child) just before baking. This will make a perfect hole for you to slide your ribbon through. Then, tie your ribbon onto the napkin with the cookie attached. You can even pipe names onto the cookies and use as your place cards.

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Having said all of that, the most important accessory you will find on our Thanksgiving table are the Thanksgiving cards. My husband designs and prints them out every year to match my theme… but they are always simple. And the purpose of these cards is to prompt us to reflect on God’s goodness and write down 5 things we are thankful for that year. Sometimes we share them… sometimes we don’t. But they are always there and have become a tradition in our home.

Well, I hope I’m leaving you with fresh ideas for a fabulous Thanksgiving table. And I pray your table will be overflowing with thanksgiving to our gracious Lord who has given us everything… and more.

“Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare.” Psalms 75:1 KJV

Christy is lucky enough to be married to the perfect guy (for her). Together, they are raising two children for the Lord. Christy thrives on turning trash into treasure, loves thrift stores, and can often be found wondering the aisles of Home Depot with a light bulb gleaming over her head.

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Joy & Thanksgiving

in the Midst of Sorrow

My Aunt ordered us to bed saying, “Get a goodnight sleep, church will come early in the morning.” After closing the bedroom door, we sank into the cool bed sheets and within a minute the whispering and laughter began. I’m sure my Aunt heard the gales of laughter from the other side of the bedroom door. Now over 20 years later I don’t remember the words we said, I only recall my cousin Gayle and I laughing until both of us had tears streaming down our face.

we were cousins, but we grew up experiencing the best sisterhood had to offer: all of the fun, none of the fights. As expected with a five year age difference, our lives soon began to travel in different directions. She entered college, I entered high school. She graduated with a degree in journalism and I began my college career studying communication. Despite living apart we remained close. Then over 10 years ago I received a phone call informing me Gayle was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The diagnosis of multiple sclerosis shook the whole family, but Gayle and her parents held firmly to God. By this time Gayle was blessed to have given birth to two beautiful daughters. But life did not go as planned. Where do you find joy in the midst of sorrow?

Despite being five years younger, Gayle, an only child, loved me tagging along. By birth

Two months ago I flew into town to visit family, and the same aunt who overheard

How do you expect me to be thankful when life does not go as planned?

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whispering and gales of laughter said, “Lori you need to come and say goodbye.” This was an unexpected, heart-rending two hour trip; and as I stepped into Gayle’s assisted living bedroom I wondered if she would even remember me. Immediately I saw what MS had done to my cousin, but instantly our eyes connected and we were two little girls under the cool bed sheets giggling late into the evening. Despite my heart breaking as the minutes ticked by, we traveled down memory lane. This time together was a blessing, but a part of me wanted to scream, “God where is the joy? How do you expect me to be thankful when life does not go as planned?”

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They were released from a prison in which they were bound—they felt like they were in a God reminded me this present trouble is only dream that only lasted for a time—and their for a time. “Those who sow in tears shall reap first reaction upon waking up is joy and with shouts of joy!” (Psalms 126 ESV) When thanksgiving. The Israelites thanked God for life is unfair, when circumstances do not go as their 70 years in captivity; they praised Him planned, or when we sow endless tears, where for not giving them what they deserved and do we find this joy in painful circumstances? cried out for his mercy. Gathering this Thanksgiving many of us sitting around our tables are asking where is the joy during a year where the economy hit hard, individuals lost their jobs, and things did not turn out as planned. In Psalms we read about an example where the Israelites found joy and thanksgiving despite hardships.

The Israelites were led into the promise land by God. They were God’s chosen people. They had visions of life being wonderful, especially after their ancestors recalled the story of wandering 40 years in the wilderness.

In 605 BC Babylon was the dominate power and Nebuchadnezzar had Israel under his control. Nebuchadnezzar brought the Israeli captives to live in Babylon, away from their promised home land.

Where is joy? Where is thanksgiving? Where is God? Life was not going according to plan, people were dying outside of their promised land, and many tears were shed. How do you think the Israelites felt after spending 70 years in captivity?

Psalms 126 describes their reaction:

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. 2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” 3 The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. 4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb! 5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! 6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

Life is marked by dark and difficult valleys, but there is joy in the darkness. When life does not go as planned, we can find encouragement by reflecting on God’s past mercies and provisions, so we can look ahead with confidence. We find thanksgiving with the reassurance that God who helped us then will not fail us now. God’s past faithfulness assures us that He will meet our future needs, even when life does not go according to plan.

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Lori Kasbeer has a house full of boys–three to be exact; however, if you add her husband, the cat and the dog, masculinity runs rampant. Lori lives in Florida and recently celebrated 16 years of marriage. Lori Kasbeer is a contributor for the newly published book Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace along with authors such as Shaunti Feldhahn, Melody Carson, Debbie Macomber, Robin Jones Gunn and others. Peal Girls devotional style book remind woman they are not alone and that no circumstance is beyond the grace of God.

With a passion for reading you can find her If the economy hit hard, or you lost your job and life traveled an unknown road, there is joy Christian book reviews on Lori’s Book and thanksgiving in God’s mercy and Reviews. faithfulness. Lori is also a devotional writer for the Laced With Grace and during her spare time you can find her blogging at “http:// Life did not go according to plan for my cousin Gayle and her multiple sclerosis did lorisreflections.com”Lori’s Reflections. not take God by surprise, but in the midst of sorrow and pain there is great joy and thanksgiving.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)

These present troubles are only for a time—it will feel like a dream—and “many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalms 34:19).”

Despite our present day circumstances and sorrows, may we rejoice with shouts of joy and thanksgiving this November for God is faithful!

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” ~ Zephaniah 3:17

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For All Things

Last Thanksgiving, our oldest daughter, Emma, offered us the most beautiful gift I have ever received. When I woke up that morning I found on my pillow a sweet little note telling me all the things about me that Emma was thankful for. She had made similar ones for her dad and siblings as well. It was at that moment that I realized she “got it”. As parents, how often do we find ourselves repeating the same words or directives to our children? Day after day, it feels like we might as well just record ourselves once and get it over with! And if that weren’t bad enough, it doesn’t always appear that our constant reminders are actually sinking in. A recurring theme in my lectures loving conversations with my children is to have an attitude of thanksgiving. I don’t know about you, but this sense of entitlement our culture has developed is getting a little old. I’m tired of being told that someone “deserves” to have such-and-such. Just because. And if they get it, it inevitably ends up not being good enough within a few months, because something ©Exemplify Magazine

bigger, better, and with a touch screen has come out since.

to count as a vacation. My pity party was in full swing.

Ladies, we are a blessed society. We are blessed to have access to clean water, an abundance of healthy food, and more than enough shelter. We have enough clothes in our closets to get us through the cold winters and hot summers. Maybe we don’t have as much as that gal over there, but we sure have a lot more than people in most countries. We even have enough left over that we can share with those around us in need. We have no reason to not be thankful.

Guess who decided to show up and join me?

And yet, how often do we complain that we don’t have enough? That what we do have isn’t good enough? Our children listen to the things we say, they watch the things they do, and they form their own attitudes and actions accordingly.

Suddenly I heard my Emma complaining that her clothes weren’t good enough, that we needed a new house so she could have her own room. Oh, and all her friends had (insert toy here), why couldn’t she? And when were we going to go on a “real” vacation anyway?

“You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19, MSG)

When I realized what was happening, I sat her down. I talked to her about just how lucky This became so clear to me not too long ago. I we truly are to have all of the things we need. had been complaining about how we always And I reminded her that God was the Giver seemed to be lacking, that our house wasn’t of all of those things; we needed to have a big and glamorous enough, and that all of my spirit of thanksgiving. friends were able to go on big trips while I was stuck at home with only a visit to my in-laws Then God sat ME down and talked to me about how lucky I truly am to have all of 21

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things I need, and reminded me that He was the Giver of all. And I needed to cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving in my own heart if I expected my children to develop one in theirs. Since then, I have tried to be more careful with my own words. I have tried to display a thankful attitude for everything, even when I don’t feel like it. I remembered when my kids were all little and how we used to giggle when they would pray, thanking God for the littlest things like their chins, or their eyelashes. My son Ethan had the best prayer of all when he was two – he would pray “Thank you, God, for Mommy and Daddy and Emma and Hannah and Mommy and Daddy and Emma and Hannah and Mommy!!” I try to practice what they have taught me and give thanks to Him daily for all those little things.

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that chew our slippers and chase our feet, but love us unconditionally. For all things.

“Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks. Nothing is to be sneered at and thrown out. God’s Word and our prayers make every item in creation holy.” (1 Timothy 4:4-5, MSG) _____________________________________

Additionally, I have chatted with our children about their own attitudes, and how we need to give thanks for all things. Even for little brothers who pester, and big sisters who boss, but who are always there for us. For shared rooms that lead to shared secrets. For Daddies that work and Mommies that cook, even when we think take-out would be better. For puppies

Andrea is a coffee drinking, Jesus-loving wife and stay-at-home mom of three in constant search of just the right mug for her brew. She pretends to scrapbook, loves to knit, and avoids housework whenever possible. You can find her at her blog, Under GraceOverCoffee.com, where she shares the love she has found in Jesus, along with the caffeine-laden randomness that makes up the majority of her day. Grab your cup and come on over!

Andrea invites you to check out Exemplify’s Family Blog! Family means everything to me. Growing up, it was the deepest desire of my heart to get married and have children. There was nothing I looked forward to more than being a mom. I even remember making my French teacher in grade 12 mad when he asked me my plans for the future, because I told him all I really wanted to do was be a stay-at-home-mom. God called me to be at home even at that young age. And while I do work casually, the majority of my time is spent in my home, making it a place for my family to be welcomed and loved in. That doesn’t mean I don’t have areas that need improvement! I am definitely a work in progress. But it gives me joy to be able to serve God by serving my family. I am so excited to introduce you to the Family Channel at Exemplify Online. Our purpose is to encourage you in your own family adventure, whether you are single, newly married, waiting to have kids, raising kids, or hoping they come home for the holidays. We hope to inspire you as you seek to make your home centered on Him. Each of the ladies writing for the Family Channel come with their own, unique families. Whether you struggle with fertility, are in the process of adoption, believe differently than your extended family, or are simply seeking ways to nurture your children spiritually, I think you will find something just for you here each week. You can expect edifying devotionals, stories that share our personal experiences with Motherhood, not to mention articles featuring recipes, crafts and homemaking tips to make life just a little easier during those chaotic moments. You know, the days when someone gets sick, the dog decides to eat your slippers, you set the oven on fire, and your husband calls to say he’s bringing home someone for dinner. Not that that ever happens to me. I’m just saying. We hope you stop by often – the coffee is always on!

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Thanks Given

Sister, I am so grateful to share this time with you in fellowship. The Lord teaches me so much as He brings these studies together. Having you with me all the while keeps me digging deeper, and I am so thankful for that gift of accountability. Before we dive into the riches of Scripture, it is vital to seek the supernatural wisdom that God will pour over our time in His Word.

Let’s take this time to come into the Presence of our Lord and receive that blessing right now. We’ll place our needs before Him, hearts opened wide, and then we’ll spend some time together on the pages of sweet Scripture.

I enjoy few things more than a crisp Autumn day bathed in shades of amber, flickers of orange dancing about, the subdued hues of yellow somehow

Let’s delve into redefining our understanding of thanksgiving. Literally.

managing to rival the vibrant reds that pop amid the clear blue sky. The tricks, treats, and the Thanksgiving holiday, well… they’re just gravy, giblet gravy. We’re all sisters here, so I feel safe in admitting my audacity to

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presume that writing on thanksgiving would be easy as {pumpkin} pie. As the deadline approaches, our Father is slicing me a big fat chunk of humble

pie…turns out there’s more to this thanksgiving thing than meets this simple girl’s eye.

understanding of thanksgiving. Literally. Nothing reveals the meaning of Scripture like stepping into the vernacular of the day and place in which it was written. Considering the writer, seeking the Author, and looking into subtle differences in context will give us a deeper understanding of God’s desires for us. Depending on who you are…when and where you are…and even whom you are addressing, a word can take on any number of meanings. Even a word we think we have all figured out, like thanksgiving.

Now that I’ve cast my imperfect approach onto you and confessed my self-reliant tendencies, let’s delve into redefining our

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The Greek term, “eucharistia”, translates singularly and succinctly to the meaning we are most familiar with; “to give thanks”. Interchangeable with gratitude, it covers the scope of our ordinary definition. Ladies, we serve a God that just so happens to specialize in the extraordinary–down to every last detail! His word selection was as intentional and purpose driven as His very nature. In the Old Testament, God had more to say about gratitude than any one word could hold, so He used three Hebrew words to paint us the perfect picture of thanksgiving:

“Huyĕdah” was used to depict praise, often in the form of song; it also referred to the choir singing those songs of praise and worship.

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2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that, “all scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness”. When we dig deeper, holding fast to God’s Supernatural coat tails all the while, He does not cease in fulfilling that promise.

Let’s read 2 Chronicles 29:31 again, and see what underlying lessons lie within its God-breathed text. I count it a blessing to be excavating Scripture alongside you today, sister! Your efforts in study are a delight to the Lord!

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translations of this verse really demonstrate the value of digging deeper. By exploring a few variations, we more fully develop our understanding of God’s precepts.

To illustrate the way familiar wording can relax us into skimming right over something profound, we need a little back story and Joshua 7:1 paints the scene, “But the Israelites broke faith in regard to the devoted things: Achan son of Carmi son of Zabdi son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of the devoted things; and the anger of the Lord burned against the Israelites” (NRSV).

Matthew Henry’s commentary explains that, “devoted things were most holy to the Lord, The distinction of burnt offerings being from and could neither be taken back nor applied those with willing hearts draws our attention to other purposes.” The Hebrew term for Here is where things get richer. In the next to the implication that the entire congregation these items, “cherem”, is also translated as definition, two additional aspects beg our participated in these thank offerings. This “accursed things”, aptly depicting that using attention…I know they sure commanded passage demonstrates how our gratitude to the these items outside of their holy context was mine. Before we discuss these meanings, I Lord is more than an optional token of never to happen. want you to rattle off as many synonyms for appreciation. When directed toward our thanksgiving as you can. Jot them down if King, a declaration of thanksgiving doesn’t you like, I’ll wait… come close to fitting the bill of our debt. God revealed Achan’s sin, “then Joshua said We’ve no way, outside of accepting Christ’s to Achan, ‘My son, give glory to the Lord, the gift, to repay that debt. Having received that God of Israel, and give him the praise. Tell Okay, all set? Synonyms abound, but the gift of mercy and salvation, we offer our me what you have done; do not hide it from beauty of God’s Word simply astounds. thanks in return. We need more than an me.’” audible song of praise; our hearts must sing the praises of God’s amazing grace. Living The Hebrew word, “towdah”, adds dimension lives that glorify our Father, that’s our thank to our definition by revealing two facets to the offering. We must live out our appreciation, as The New International Version of Joshua 7:19 shows that Achan is urged to give God concept that probably didn’t land on your list well as shout it out in praise. Bringing an offering of thanksgiving, like that in 2 praise after having sinned. Other translations, of synonyms. I may or may not have left off such as the New Revised Standard Version, some obvious ones, so, um…yeah, if you leave Chronicles, is not something we’re individually called to; it is something we are give further insight into how we are to glorify with new information today, you are not bound to, as the blood-bought saints of the the Lord through the revealing of our sin. alone! Living God. Most of the wording remains the same; only the application of the word towdah is expounded upon. In 2 Chronicles 29:31, we join the people of What might a life of gratitude look like Judah during the restoration of the Temple for you? and the revival of their fellowship with the “Then Joshua said to Achan, ‘My son, give God of Israel. Having rededicated themselves Consider what says “thank you” to glory to the Lord God of Israel and make as holy and set apart for use by the Lord, they you. confession to him…” are ready for worship. Are there any adjustments in attitude you need to make in order to live in When we sin, we deny our Heavenly Father “Then Hezekiah said, ‘You have now thanks? the full glory of His name. By going up consecrated yourselves to the Lord, come against God’s commands, we are proclaiming How would this application of near, bring sacrifices and thank offerings to His ineffectiveness instead of His might. We the house of the Lord.’ The assembly thanksgiving change your handling of devalue His Sovereignty with each step out brought sacrifices and thank offerings; and all hardship? from under His authority. Diminishing God’s who were of a willing heart brought burnt greatness is like saying, “thanks, but no offerings” (NRSV). thanks” to each good and perfect gift from The other unexpected form of thanksgiving above. Confession restores the glory stripped expressed using the word “towdah” can be away by our sin. In this context, the word “towdah” refers to found twice in Scripture. We find a vivid the thank offerings presented to God. example in Joshua 7:19. The differing 24

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Confession is thanksgiving. What sin has God urged you to confess in thanksgiving?

Have you restored that stolen glory to your Father? Is He calling you out today?

Know that you are not alone in your struggles and that no sin is unique to you, dear sister.

Bring your thank offering before the Lord; He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.

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Professing God’s goodness, singing the praises of our King, confessing our sins and His power, and casting aside anything and anyone that competes for the glory He is due—that is one Divinely complete picture of how we are to show our unwavering appreciation for the Lord’s unending provision, unlimited forgiveness, and undeniably intimate dedication to our well-being. By casting ourselves down at His feet, we shout out in thanksgiving. When we cast out the idols that keep us idle, we offer praise by placing God first. Shooting at the self-serving mentality of Babylon is confessing our need for the Savior. Allowing our gratefulness to seep into every facet of our lives is our thank offering, and it is a happy thanks, given to a faithfully deserving Lord. Praise God! I’ll start us off in taking these lessons before the Lord and offering Him our thanks; continue with your conversation of confession and praise. Linger in your prayer time ladies; God delights in you!

As we seek to understand the last of God’s chosen words regarding gratefulness, we find further evidence of our having been made in His likeness. A girl needs to know that no one is quite like her, and she needs to know that there is no One like her God. God requires an irreplaceable place in our hearts, homes, carpools, cubicles…in all aspects of life, He commands and demands center stage. In Isaiah 48:11, the Lord tells us that He will not give away His glory. I can relate to that, and I have no glory outside of my being His. Having another person rival my worth in ways I hold dear is enough to send me head first into a heap of brownies. It’s easy to see why God tells us to cast aside His competition. Found in the Hebrew term, “yadah”, casting out, casting down, and shooting at would-be glory thieves is a vital part of giving thanks. The common ideas about thanksgiving and our new-found directive of confession are included in its meaning. The added element that completes the portrait of praise is denying all else a shot at God’s place in our lives, His domain over our time, or the glory that is His alone.

Father, You are worthy of all praise. In hardship, I will seek to glorify Your name. In health, I will tell of Your majesty and might. In the moments I might crumble, I will shout of Your faithfulness to pick up the pieces. In my lacking, I will more fully appreciate Your completeness…

“Take up your positions around Babylon, all you that bend the bow; shoot at her, spare no arrows, for she has sinned against the Lord” (Jeremiah 50:14, NRSV). Defend the honor of the King, acknowledging His complete and just reign. Thank Him for delivering you from such evils as the wiles of worldliness. “While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and throwing himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children gathered to him out of Israel; the people also wept bitterly” (Ezra 10:1, NRSV). Cast yourself down, humble and hopeful, before the Lord.

Victoria began writing from Scripture out of the sheer inability to keep a good thing to herself-the exception being brownies, those she refuses to share. Soon after delving into her first Bible study, it became clear that God was building a ministry through this new-found love for His Word. Whether she is homeschooling, housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap, God continues to grow Victoria through the ministry He set in motion...and she continues to hog all the brownies.

Thank Him for exalting you through the perfecting blood of Christ.

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Victoria invites you to check out Exemplify’s new Devotional Channel!

As I sat, legs folded beneath my barely used Bible, the tattered bits of my life strewn about all around me, alone in my humiliation and pain, God took the reigns.

Looking back, I see that moment was the first time I had truly sought the Lord since childhood. Sure, there had been the occasion bouts of seeking through prayer and even my first attempt at Scriptural study, which I promptly quit after one session. I was in church each week, and in a weekly group for mothers at my church as well for several years before having my daughter. The start of school for my oldest, having a newborn, and living half an hour from the church after having been only minutes away had proved to easily defeat my devotion. That’s not devotion at all; that just further illustrates my point. I was miles from devoted. I still am.

In anger, I had shouted at the Lord to tell me where He had been while I was being destroyed over the course of a decade. In His infinite wisdom, the Lord led me to His Word for the answers. With no direction and no real knowledge of how to read the Bible, I sat staring at the cover for a long moment. Once I got up the nerve, I flipped the book open and saw the faithfulness of the Lord for the first time in my life. I can say with zero doubt that

He was faithful long before I noticed; this was simply the opening of my eyes.

our hope rests, so that the power He sent to us won’t be silenced by the noise of the world.

My first time in devotion held the same sense of wonder, relief, hope, and love that greets us in every devotional moment we bring before the King. In contrast to the painful world of deceit and suffering I found myself imprisoned by, God showered me with affection, honesty, integrity, and all of it eternal!

Sharing reflections of my devotional time with each of you is a blessing of accountability in my walk with the Lord. I’m sure that my “coworkers in Christ” feel much the same. Chrystie, Kelli, Lynda, Patty, Tracy, and Wendy are just as thrilled as I am to have you join us here on the Devotional Channel as we seek to tune in to what God has in store for us each day!

The Rock of Ages was replacing the shaking ground beneath me more and more each time I devoted myself to time with Him.

How did turning to the Lord out of anger result in devotion? Simple. Our Father is faithful! He enjoys our company, but there’s more to it than fellowship. Through devoting our minds, hearts, and bodies to God we can better allow the Holy Spirit to work in, on, and through us. Ephesians 3:20, tells us that it is “by the power at work within us” that God “is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine” (NRSV). If we aren’t intentional about it, that power (the Holy Spirit) is stifled by the sin-nature that surrounds it. So we devote ourselves to keeping our eyes fixated on Christ, in whom

It is our prayer that you will come hungry, and never feel satisfied by our words alone.

“Instead you thrill to God’s Word, you chew on Scripture day and night” (Psalm 1:2, The Message)

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Thanksgiving Day Super Foods By Shannon “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.” Ecclesiastes 9:7 Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends to come together and share in each other’s company while thanking God for all of His blessings. And, this is usually done with copious amounts of delicious food. You might even feel a little guilty for abandoning your good eating habits to indulge on Thanksgiving Day. But a closer look at some of these naughty foods reveals them to be not only innocent, but just plain good for you!

Green Beans Commonly found in households disguised in a concoction cleverly called “green bean casserole,” these vegetables are packed with fiber and nutrients! They are low in fat and are a great source of protein, folic acid, antioxidants, and vitamin B6. These nutrients make green beans a good food for promoting heart health.

Sweet Potatoes Sweet potatoes, one of my personal Thanksgiving favorites, are sometimes found under a layer of marshmallows, or maybe under a layer of brown sugar and pecans. Either way, this sweet dish is rich in vitamins A and C, as well as fiber. Sweet potatoes have been found to stabilize blood sugar levels, ©Exemplify Magazine

which makes them an ideal treat for diabetics (minus the marshmallows and sugar!).

Pumpkin Cranberries Whether you make your own family cranberry sauce, buy it in a can, or use them in a salad, cranberries are an excellent way to incorporate a super healthy fruit into your feast. Cranberries are chalk full of antioxidants, and they are known to prevent urinary tract infections. They can also reduce LDL cholesterol levels (the bad ones), and raise HDL cholesterol levels (the good ones).

Turkey The main attraction of the dinner table is, no doubt, the turkey! Turkey is an excellent source of protein and two B vitamins. It also contains the mineral selenium, which is essential for metabolism. Selenium is also suggested to decrease the risk of cancer.

It is my personal opinion that no Thanksgiving is complete with pumpkin pie. Luckily, pumpkin is also rich in nutrients, so I can eat as much pumpkin pie as I want (right??)! Pumpkin contains betacarotene, potassium, and zinc, which boosts your immune system. It also contains a substantial amount of fiber. Pumpkin is believed to ease pain associated with arthritis.

See? Thanksgiving Day indulgences are not so costly after all. So this year, as you gather to fellowship with loved ones, add these super foods to the list of things you are thankful for!

Sources: http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Pumpkin http://hubpages.com/hub/ Health_Benefits_of_Sweet_Potato http://www.everynutrient.com/ healthbenefitsofgreenbeans.html http://www.naturalnews.com/021168.html http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php? tname=foodspice&dbid=125 27

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Interview with

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JulieLessman:

Inspired to Write Julie Lessman’s books in the Daughters of Boston series may be fiction, but, as with any good novelist, an element of truth rings forth: God is the true author of our love stories. “I feel inspired to write whenever I think of God, period,” Julie said. “I am in such awe of what He has done in my life that it is my deepest desire to convey that through my books— the reality of just how natural and fulfilling an intimate relationship with God can and SHOULD be. Like breathing. My books may be fiction, but this is not a fairy tale here. It is possible to have a living, breathing relationship with the God of the universe.

“He’s crazy about us, and if most people really understood that, their lives would turn on a dime and 28

blessings would overtake them. Believe me, I know this firsthand—I used to be a hard, cynical, coarse human being before God pulled me up by the scruff of the neck and said, ‘Yo, Julie! Get a clue. You’re the apple of my eye!’ He’s been the love of my life ever since.”

siblings: Katie, Sean and Steven,” Julie said.

A Passion Most Pure deals with Faith O’Connor, who is in love with Collin McGuire, an Irish rogue who is courting her younger sister, Charity. When Collin’s attentions turn to Faith, a war begins to rage in the O’Connor From this inspiration has come three household. Book 2, A Passion published books: A Passion Most Pure, Redeemed, is Charity’s story. Charity A Passion Redeemed and A Passion is obsessed with her beauty and sets Denied, all three part of the her sights on a man who will have Daughters of Boston series, and more nothing to do with her. This story is books on the O’Connor family are to filled with passion, redemption, follow starting September 2010. betrayal, desire, and forgiveness. Finishing up the trilogy, A Passion “There are six O’Connor children in Denied focuses on Elizabeth, Faith all – four daughters and two sons – and Charity’s younger sister, whose and each one will have their own romance with John Brady makes an story. The Daughters of Boston trilogy unexpected turn when she discovers focuses on the first three daughters hidden aspects about his past. while the second three-book series highlights the stories of the remaining

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“Book 1 of the next series is Katie’s story, which was a lot of fun to write because she is a pistol who comes of age in the Roaring Twenties, right before the Great Depression,” Julie said. “Books 2 and 3 will be about the O’Connor brothers, Sean — and Emma, Charity’s scarred friend from (A Passion Redeemed), and then Steven, all during the exciting era of speakeasies, dance marathons, gangsters, G-men and era criminals like Bonnie and Clyde and John Dillenger. Steven will be a tall, brooding G-man-type modeled after Elliot Ness, a la Robert Stack from the Untouchables. I’m very excited because all three plots are very involved, include detailed sub-stories for some of the other character couples and enough plot surprises that I hope and pray will blow readers away!”

Julie’s own romance with husband, Keith, is a love story within itself.

“I met Keith when I was almost 28 years old and thinking it would never happen for me,” Julie said. “I was the last of the 13 kids to get married and had been a Christian for five years, applying God’s precepts on morality even though it was very difficult in the freelove era of the 70s. But, boy, did my commitment to God pay off big time. Keith and I were married the next year, and with God smack dab in the middle of our marriage, I can honestly say that it just gets better and better every year.”

Julie and Keith have now been married 31 years and have a 25-year-old son and daughter-in-law and a 21-year-old daughter who Julie actually used as a critique during her writing of A Passion Most Pure.

“(She) hates to read. And, yes, it’s true –I paid her $20 just to read the first chapter of A Passion Most Pure,” Julie said. “I’m happy to say it hooked her, and the rest of the book and the other two didn’t cost me a dime!”

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thousands of other love-struck young girls, I’m sure — what I hoped would be ‘the great American novel,’” Julie said. “Obviously my dreams of grandeur didn’t go anywhere, but I did write 150 pages of a story that became the basis for my debut novel, A Passion Most Pure.”

Forty years later, those childhood dreams became a reality.

“I was sitting in a beauty parlor reading a Newsweek magazine July 16, 2001, cover article about Christian entertainment,” Julie said. “It said Christian books, movies and music were on the threshold of exploding. My heart jumped, and something in my spirit said, ‘It’s time to finish your book.’ Now, I have to be honest—up until that moment, I had never seriously considered writing a book. But the pull was so strong, that I started writing A Passion Most Pure one month later.” Lucky for her readers she did so, and she continues to entrance readers with rich, heartfelt stories that focused on Godly romance. “I wanted (to write about) an Irish family coping with a war, like Gone with the Wind but didn’t have the audacity to try another Civil War epic,” Julie said. “As the 12th child in a dysfunctional family of 13 kids, I also knew I wanted to portray a family the way God intended a family to be, flawed but steeped in faith. The result is the saga of the O’Connors, a passionate but imperfect family who love God and each other in the best way they know how.” Judith Roberts, staff writer for Exemplify, spoke further with Julie Lessman.

Listen in: How long did it take to get your first book published?

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won hands-down with 19 (at that time) and went on to garner in excess of 45 (both agent and publisher rejections, including three received AFTER I signed a 3-book contract with Revell Publishing!). Even my agent Natasha Kern blanched a bit when she first signed me, realizing after the ink was dry just how many times I’d been rejected. I believe the word she used was “daunting.” But apparently not too daunting for her amazing skills as an agent because she landed me a three-book contract in the first six months. What was the process you went through? Aspiring writers have asked me that question so often that I actually drafted the following steps I took on my own path to publication. Here they are, and I hope they will help other aspiring authors on their own writing journey:

1.) Join ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers at http:// www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com/), FHL (Faith, Hope & Love at http:// www.faithhopelove-rwa.org/) and RWA (Romance Writers of America at http:// www.rwanational.org/), both to get connected with other like-minded writers and to learn a lot about your craft. 2.) Take a fiction-writing class or attend a writing seminar or conference. 3.) Join a critique group (you can do that through ACFW). 4.) Purchase and study writing books such as Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King or Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maas, AND invest in a great thesaurus such as The Synonym Finder by Rodale Press (my writer’s bible!!). 5.) Enter contests for invaluable feedback, growth, confidence, networking opportunities and to get your name out there. 6.) Frequent websites/blogs that deal with writing, such as The Seekers (http:// seekerville.blogspot.com/), a group blog that I belong to whose theme is “On the road to publication. Writing, contests, publication and everything in between.”

Julie first began writing at age 12 after reading Gone with the Wind, which inspired her to 5.) Go for an agent first, publisher second. write her own romance novels. You might say that I was the Queen of Rejections—it took four and a half years and 6.) Then pray your heart out and put it in God’s hands. 45 rejections to get published. Anyone who “Gone with the Wind swept me away into the attended the 2005 American Christian Fiction Writers Conference will remember me as the world of romance for the very first time. It captured me like no other book had done, and poor slob who waved her hands wildly in the back of the room when Brandilyn Collins I immediately set out to write — along with asked who had the most rejections in a year. I ©Exemplify Magazine

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Do you have plans for future books and/or series?

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one scene where the mother and father— Marcy and Patrick—have a fight in the bedroom “a little hard to believe.”

Yes, as a Baby Boomer, I am toying with the idea of writing a cousin’s trilogy set in the 1960s or 70s. We’ll have to see where that takes me.

“Believe it,” my husband said with a twist of his lips. “All except the part about going to the bar.” My girlfriend was completely shocked and I’m sure more Do you ever put a little of your life prone to question all the scenes in my books from that point on! and your love story with your husband into your writings? Is the sky blue? Well, at least it is here today! Sure, every writer puts bits and pieces of themselves and their lives into their writing because that’s where we draw the passion and the fire from, at least in my experience. So much so that sometimes it gets a little embarrassing for my family. One of my favorite stories about this is when a good friend came over for dinner and was talking to Keith in the kitchen. She was telling him how much she loved A Passion Most Pure, but that she found the

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What are your other hobbies besides writing? I READ—every chance I get! I actually carry a book almost everywhere I go so I can read while I’m waiting in store checkout lines, at doctors’ offices or even at a stoplight (especially if there is a train!). My favorite genre is romance (shock!), the bigger the book, the better (which explains the … ahem … length of my own novels!). I also love watching old movies (Gone With the Wind, That Touch of Mink, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Susan Slept Here are some of my favorites) and I especially like going out to

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dinner with my husband or snuggling with him while we watch a movie on “his” bigscreen HD-TV. Mmm … now that’s making time for myself !

______________ Judith Roberts has been married to her college sweetheart for four years, and both she and her husband are active in their church. She is a college instructor pursuing her doctorate and hopes to mirror Jesus in her everyday life.

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This Is How He Reminds Me Written by Leigh Anne of Lulaville.com She was playing in the nursery at church one Sunday evening. Suddenly, and completely without provocation, she began to sob. I rushed to this precious child’s side and asked her name. “Katie!” she cried. “Katie, what’s wrong? Why are you sad?” I inquired, kneeling so that we were eye to eye. “I just want to be where I’m supposed to be!” she wailed. Katie is four years old, and apparently the realization that she was the eldest child in the nursery was causing her much distress.

Before gathering her into my arms, I noticed Katie’s shoes…on the wrong feet. ”Well, that’s one

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thing I can immediately fix,” I thought to myself.

Repositioning Katie’s shoes did not calm her fears. She begged me to take her to her big sister, Tiffany. I carried little Katie out of the nursery and we found Tiffany. As soon as Katie laid eyes on her sister, she was completely comforted.

Walking back to the nursery, where my own child was waiting, I kept thinking about Katie’s earlier pronouncement: ”I just want to be where I’m supposed to be!”

How many times have I said these exact words to the Lord? And, just as with Katie’s shoes, I try to fix things myself. I step back, assess the situation, and convince myself that I am capable of mending most of the frayed fabric in my life. If the damage becomes too great, then I'll turn it over to God and seek the help of His alterations. Deuteronomy 4:29 reminds me, “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Such a powerful promise, yet one I seem to forget more than I care to admit.

sitting in a rocking chair I prayed, “God…I do just want to be where You want me to be…help me to trust You in all things, and to turn to You first, rather than seeking You as a last resort. I want to be in the center of Your will…”

Just as Katie was quieted in the presence of her elder sister, my questions and fears are quelled when my heart is focused on God. Katie longed to be in her sister’s presence, as I long to be in my God’s. I’m thankful He used this little girl to remind me that I just want to be where He wants me.

Back in the nursery I watched my daughter playing with a few other children and toddlers. While

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Jochebed I lift the palmfuls of water to my face, feeling the cool relief as the water trickles down my cheeks and neck. The sun glares down from the sky, scorching everything in its path.

Beside me, he coos softly. I adjust the linen cloth over his face, just enough to keep him covered but open enough to hopefully coax in a breeze. “Shh,” I whisper, rocking the straw basket slightly.

Along the river Aaron and Miriam splash and play, laughing giddily. My throat closes as I look at my two beautiful children, so full of life. My hand comes to rest involuntarily on the small basket beside me. Will I be able

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to see this one grow and splash in the water?

more than a container of linens, and we depart for home.

Fear – cold, gripping, paralyzing fear – overtakes me right there in the rushes on the riverbanks, and all of the sudden the sun and its furious rays are no longer and issue for me. What if we get caught? Surely the Egyptians will put us to death.

The kids bicker and argue behind me as we walk, but my mind is elsewhere. The fear has pushed me into the recesses of my memories. Back to the day of his birth, when we made the decision whether to become murderers, or be the ones murdered… *

There is stirring coming from the basket, and I know another coo is coming. It is time to go.

I call to Aaron and Miriam, and they slowly and begrudgingly drag themselves out of the water. I gather the basket into my arms, making sure it looks like nothing

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The midwife stood close, washing and wrapping the small, delicate baby, while another worked to clean the sopping mess of linens at my feet. My hands were curled into half-fists from the straining of many hours of labor. I dragged in gulping breaths. “The child,” I rasped. “What is it?” Before she answered with her voice, I saw her response in her

eyes. She sighed heavily and clasped her fingers together in her lap over the body of my youngest child. “It’s a boy. A healthy, beautiful baby boy.” A multitude of emotions ripped at my heart. Joy for the safe delivery of another child. Inexplicable, incomparable love for a baby I had not even seen yet. And yet… A boy. My eyes filled with tears as fear worked to overtake the joy of the moment. The midwife brought him to me and laid him on my heaving chest. I tried to focus on his little face through my tears. He yawned and worked his mouth, searching for something to suckle. A boy.

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I glanced up at the midwife, who was watching us carefully with the faintest hint of a smile on her face. “Does Amram know?” She nodded. “We told him the minute your glorious son was born.” My glorious son. He was so beautiful, so perfect in miniature. I reached down and threw some blankets over my waist and legs, so as to spare Amram any evidence of the birth. “Will you ask him to come in, please?” She nodded and exited quickly. The second midwife finished gathering the soiled linens, tossed them into a basket, and headed out to the river. Within a few moments, Amram came into the room. He kneeled on the floor beside me, one hand on my forehead and the other on the chest of our newest son. “How are you?” he asked gently, kissing my forehead. “Terrified,” I said honestly, and I gave in to my emotions. I sobbed and sobbed, not concerned with the dribbling of my nose and the streaming of my eyes. “What are we going to do?” Amram studied me. “Do you honestly think we have a choice?” I shook my head. “No, we don’t. But what about Pharaoh’s edict?” “What about it?” Amram said fiercely. “We answer to God first.” He sighed heavily, and when he spoke again his voice was slightly weaker than before. “We will circumcise him. We will hide him. If the Egyptians come and take him, it will be on their heads, not ours. We will not turn him over to the authorities. If anyone asks, we will say the child died at birth. We will conceal him for as long as we can. Perhaps if we can hide him long enough, Pharaoh will repeal this edict. Until then, all we can do is wait and pray.” I nodded. I knew he was right. I was hoping for some sort of comfort, encouragement. But Amram, ever the realist, had no comfort to give. Not because he was incapable, because there was none in the situation. Amram gently stroked the skin of our new son’s face. “I would rather break a thousand laws and lie a thousand lies than disobey the Lord.” He bent down and kissed the new pink scalp. Anxiety welled up inside of me, and fear settled in over my heart. It was as though when new life exited my womb, a death sentence was proclaimed over my own. And then I looked down and my son, and the ©Exemplify Magazine

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overwhelming sense of dread disappeared. I stared at his tiny perfect face, and it became real. Of course our lives were worth his. A thousand times over. The adrenaline began to wear off and exhaustion crept into my body. I could feel my eyes closing, and as I drifted off into the sleep that only comes after birth, I snuggled my son – my greatest joy and my potential downfall – a little closer to my heart.

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He will not quiet down. I rock and hold and swaddle him. Still he cries, still he coos and laughs and gurgles. I lay him down on the floor and he holds his head up high, giggling and drooling. I observe how fabulous he is. How the wrinkled cheeks and dimpled eyes had given way to smooth, shiny skin. How his thick little legs resemble the logs hauled in to build the palace. Even at the tender age of three months, he is breathtaking. For the past three months, concealment has been easy. He was a docile, well-behaved infant. He nursed quickly and slept often. Amram helped me fashion a wrap that would bind him around my stomach under my robes. When people questioned my size, I simply lied and told them my figure was having a hard time adjusting to delivering a still birth. It was difficult to talk about a child who was supposed to be dead, when in reality I could feel him twisting, breathing, and adjusting against my belly. But now things are different. He has grown so large I cannot bind him anymore, and have taken to carrying him around in a basket wherever I go. I try to get water, food, and do the wash when I know there will be few women around. But even though I have become an expert in concealing his physical appearance, there is nothing I can do to silence him, and he is growing louder and more active by the day.

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Amram sits silent for a long time. Finally, “If we admit we have them, not only will they kill us, they will kill him too. Even though he is three months now, the fact that he is a Hebrew is a strike of ultimate death.” My heart spasms inside my chest so hard I am afraid it is going to jump into my throat. “No,” I whisper. “I won’t let that happen. Not to my son!” Amram leans back against the wall, lost in thought. I know this look. He is sifting through possible solutions as if they are grains in a sack of wheat. “I am going to pray about this,” he says quickly. “You should do the same.” He walks out of the house. I shift and place the baby on the floor and kneel over him. My tears fall onto his little body, and he giggles and laughs as strands of my hair fall forward out of its pins. He is so joyful, and he has no idea how sorrowful his mother is. When I begin to pray, I speak barely above a whisper, even though my heart is screaming to the heavens. “O, Lord God Jehovah, my son… how do I save my son?” * *

*

Miriam is confused, and I cannot say I blame her. Amram’s plan is crazy to the naked eye, but it is the only solution we have. He says it is from the Lord, that God has asked him to do this and it is the only way to preserve the life of our baby boy. The guardsmen of the palace have started searching homes. Twice we have had close calls. At one point I convinced Aaron to moan and groan as though he had a stomach illness in order to mask any sound the baby made. The guardsmen were repulsed and left the house quickly, praised be to the Lord. I pull the papyrus basket into my lap and coat the second side with the pungent pitch. I am not lost to the symbolic nature of this act. An ark for my son. The Lord saved His people by an ark. O Lord, that you would save my son by an ark as well!

I have done everything I can imagine to preserve the life of my son. Unfortunately my son’s ability to make himself known is Miriam pinches her nose while I work. “So I growing much greater than my ability to make am just supposed to watch where the basket him disappear. goes?” Tonight, as I hold him, gazing in awe at his Beside me he lets out a loud giggle, and I beautiful smile, his juicy pink gums slick with carefully adjust the linens over his face again. saliva from incoming teeth, I confess to “Yes, just for a while. Just to make sure…” Amram my fears. “I cannot do this much longer,” I tell him. “Soon the baby will be crawling and then walking. Then what will I do? He is already too big to strap around my waist.”

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nods gravely, knowing what I have asked her today. *

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The water speaks back to me as I carefully place him into the rushes. Just a few feet further, the current of the Nile picks up and moves quickly. It does not, however, move as quickly as my heart. The little papyrus ark floats perfectly, the rushes protecting him from moving too fast. I know I have to leave. I know I have to just walk away from my child. It’s such a simple thing to say, yet it is as complicated as trying to separate my head from the rest of my body.

I have asked her because I am not strong enough to do it myself. I gather my skirts around my knees and leave the river. The tears are falling hot and salty before I have even cleared the levee rise. I break into a run, gasping through my sobs for air, my feet beating the searing earth. I run until my chest aches to bursting, until it feels like iron bars have been wrapped around my midsection. I pass many neighbors, each staring awkwardly at me and my sopping face. The same people who commented about how well I handled the loss of an infant.

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My Miriam, with her hair in wild wisps around her face and sweat trickling down her face, stands panting in the doorway, silhouetted against the brilliant sunlight. I jump to my feet. “What’s happened?” “I will tell you on the way, just come!” And she turns and dashes out the door. She is fast for such a young girl, and it takes me several minutes to catch her. “Miriam, what – is he OK? Did they find you?”

Miriam’s eyes are shining with tears as the words came tumbling out over her breaths as she ran. “Oh Mama, it’s the most wonderful thing! Princess Hapshepsut came down to the river right after you left with all her slave girls. What they don’t know is that I am I think she was coming to take her bath or experiencing my loss now. And I am not something. Anyway, the baby started crying handling it well at all. and I got so scared! I mean, the Pharaoh’s What if no one finds him? daughter! I was going to run away, but I just What if the wrong people find him? couldn’t leave without seeing what happened to him. The Princess saw the basket and sent * * * What if he starves? one of her attendants to pull it out of the rushes. She got him out and brought him to I reached our home and thrust myself What if he’s eaten by a crocodile? through the door, dust from the earthen floor the Princess. She unwrapped him and took What if he drowns? rising in thick clouds around my shuffling feet. one look at him and knew he was a Hebrew from the circumcision. I just knew she was As soon as the door shuts out the brilliant going to order one of the attendants to toss sunlight behind me, I collapse in a heap of him back into river, and I didn’t think I could The questions race around and around in my sobs on the ground. Little Aaron walks over handle seeing that. But he was crying so to me and places a chubby arm around my head. And the doubts creep in. hard, and Mama, I wish you could have seen shoulders. I reach up and grasp it, joyful in his presence and lamenting the absence of my her face! She looked so sad seeing him cry. What kind of mother are you? You are just So she tells her attendants that he’s a Hebrew youngest. abandoning your son in the river? How is baby and wonders what she is going to do what you are doing any different from what I wonder if he’s still there. I wonder if he’s with him. And then – and I don’t know why the Egyptians would do? At least if you kept been pulled away by the current. I wonder if in the world I did this – I ran up to her and him home, you could care for him until they come, and his death would be swift. Here he he’s hungry. I wonder if he’s hot. I wonder if asked her if she wanted me to find a nurse for he’s crying. I wonder if he’s been scented by a him, a Hebrew woman to feed him. And she will die, most likely slowly, and it’s all your predator. said yes, so I came to get you!” Miriam’s face fault! shines with tears, sweat, and excitement. I wonder if he’s still alive. My heart soars with the news that my son is “No, no,” I whisper to myself. “Amram is sure Bitterness rises like soured bile from my alive, but I can’t help but feel apprehensive. Is stomach, filling my mouth and cloaking my this is what the Lord would have us do. This the Pharaoh’s daughter so dim that she didn’t heart. Rage and hatred so fierce against the is the only way to save him!” realize the connection between the small girl, Egyptians began surging through my blood. the baby, and the nurse being brought for How dare they? Who are they to say who can him? Is this a trap? Is this just the Princess’s live and who can’t? How dare they force our way to carry out her father’s orders and to Save him? The only one you are saving is family into this position? execute not only the son, but the mother as yourself ! You are abandoning your child! well? I long for the land of our home, where I shake my head violently, pressing my palms children were sacred and we were not a to my temples. It would be so easy to pull him cursed people. I long for the place where our We scale the levee and there in the banks stands the Princess with her entourage. out of the river, to take him home and wait forefather Levi grew and lived. Cuddling my son to her breast. My muscles for the inevitable. And yet is it ever easy to I wonder if being there would have made any jerk as though to reach for him, but I know I disobey the Lord? must restrain my urges. difference. And His voice speaks to me: Trust Me, I am so absorbed in my grief I don’t hear the Jochebed. Chills race down my arms. door open. The only way I know someone I kiss my fingertips and place them gently on has entered is the blinding light now flooding the top of the basket. “I love you, my son. I the room. love you more than you will ever know.” I “Mama, Mama – come quick!” meet Miriam’s eyes. She is extremely wellcomposed, considering the situation. She 34

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She is a beautiful young woman with dark, almond-shaped, slightly haughty eyes. But her smile is warm when I approach and kneel before her. “I have found this baby in the river, and he is still young and needs a nurse. I would like to keep him as my son, but I am unable to nurse him. I need you to nurse him and raise him, and I will pay you for your services. When he is old enough, you can send him to live in the palace.”

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We head into the house. Amram rises from his seat, shock filling his face. Miriam and I take turns telling the glorious story. He takes his son into his arms, kissing him and rejoicing. That night, I am the only one laying awake as the moon rises overhead. Little Moses lies beside me, cooing softly, watching his fingers open and close above his face. I trace the lines of the moonlight on his face. He is still so perfect.

I nod at the ground, mumbling a faint, “Yes, my Princess,” and try to keep the joy off my face. I stand up and she holds him out to place in my arms. He immediately reaches for me, cooing softly. Then she smiles at me.

Oh, God, my son was dead to me and because of You he is once again alive! You revoked the sentence of death that has been over his head since birth, and you’ve given “I have decided to call him Moses, because I him life. He has a new name because of You have drawn him out of the water. I would like and Your intervention, a name that will tell for you to call him that.” She nods in everyone of the work You’ve done in his life. I dismissal, and heads back towards the water, am, and will always be, forever grateful to her attendants scurrying behind her. you, Lord. Miriam and I make our way back up the levee, and I am crying again. I look at the face of my sweet boy, his bright smile and eyes so like his father. He reaches up and pats my chin clumsily with his puffy hand. Oh, my son. Lord, You have kept Your word. You have given me back my son. You told us what to do to keep him safe, even though it seemed ludicrous. Even though there were doubts. Even though there were a million things that could have gone wrong. You protected him. And now you have given him back to us. All we had to do was believe and be obedient. I choke back a sob.

Moses sighs deeply and pulls me out of my prayer. He is asleep, his tiny nostrils flaring softly. I smile and allow my own eyes to close, my heart filled with praise and gratitude for the return and the life of my son. I realize I have been on both sides, knowing what it is to be in loss and knowing what it is to be filled. Yet regardless of my circumstances, I will be forever grateful, because I know the Lord I serve has power to do the unimaginable.

Adapted from Exodus 2:1-10

“Mama,” Miriam asks softly, placing a hand on my arm. “Are you OK? Why are you crying? Aren’t you happy we have him back?” I nod and laugh through my tears. “Yes, sweetheart. I am so happy. These are tears of joy, and of gratitude. Not only has he been returned to us, but now we no longer have to hide him. We no longer have to live a lie. And God has blessed us with fortune in bringing him back to us. We have so much to be thankful for.” She slips her small hand into my free one. “Yes, we do. And we have to call him Moses now, don’t we? “Yes, we must. It was the name given by the Princess, and we have to honor it. It will also protect him. I think it’s fitting, don’t you? He was put in the river and drawn back out.” She contemplates this for a moment then smiles. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

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Tara Rachel is a born-and-bred Southern girl who loves sweet tea, Jesus, and football - and not necessarily in that order. Visit her at Musings of a Future Pastor's Wife, where she blogs about her day-to-day life as the wife of a seminary student/youth pastor and mom to a precious toddler girl, and the daily truths the Lord teaches her.

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