Empowering Kids

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Like the acorn that has the latent potential of the oak tree within, every child holds his or her greatness. It is “believing in” this greatness, nurturing it, and empowering your child to become his or her best self that marks this new age of parenting. Gone are the days when parents wanted their kids to get a “good job”—now we want them to have rewarding lives! It is a shift of epic proportions.

Such a shift begins with empowering children, literally helping them gain a sense of self-trust, confidence, courage, and belief that they can successfully face whatever life presents. It is helping children gain a sense of real power, inner power, establishing a connection to their unique truth. Inner power is the ability to persevere when obstacles arise, as they always do, especially in childhood when confronted with bullies, poor grades, rejection, and bruises. It is a knowing that you are valuable and can make it. Such inner strength also encourages a child to courageously risk sharing his or her talents with the world. And in today’s world, we need everyone’s best.

Empowering Kids

Empowering literally means to “put in” or “to cause” power, as derived from its Latin roots. The act of empowering children is a process of instilling in them beliefs and feelings that they are powerful now, as well as creating optimum conditions that mirror back to them these concepts.

Most simply, it is why Wonder Woman was my favorite television show in the seventies. It made me feel powerful. I was a seven-year-old girl and Linda Carter was my hero. She could beat any bad guy, using her golden lasso, tiara, and bullet-deflecting bracelets. It made me feel that I could do it too! And that is what Harry Potter and Narnia do for kids today. Such imaginative worlds are not only playful, but also serve a very real purpose for children, helping them envision themselves as powerful creators. And the “real world” is also an essential place to help children appropriately harness their energy and potential. Owen, age five, lit up when his father told him he was “so creative” and “talented” in his painting class. It’s almost as if you could literally see Owen looking more confident and strong. This is a great example of a child beginning to own his creative abilities. Unfortunately, well-intentioned parents sometimes do the opposite as well. Olive, age eight, was dancing with friends and playing with her hula hoop in the park. It was just good old summer fun. Her mom, Jenny, told Olive that she looked like she had “two left feet” when she was dancing. Jenny’s friend laughed. To me it seemed hurtful. Olive looked a bit sad and didn’t want to dance anymore. Children such as Olive need a highly tuned-in parent who can honor, as well as nurture, her exceedingly creative, sensitive, and intelligent nature. And I believe Jenny can be that parent. Empowering your child isn’t rocket science, but it does take effort, mindfulness, and awareness. It really is a skill that can be learned.

The act of empowering children is a process of instilling in them beliefs and feelings that they are powerful

now.

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Empowerment 101

Being able to recognize an opportunity to empower a child takes awareness. I believe parents need to decide to make every interaction as important and powerful as possible. Children so deeply want, need, and wish to feel fully supported here on earth—and it’s up to you to realize that you are the perfect person in the perfect place at the perfect moment to do it. Learning to empower children isn’t complicated. It really takes the same effort you apply to any goal with enthusiasm, dedication, and a willingness to “set aside” your own ego, emotions, and limited thinking. A child so wholeheartedly wants to believe that his or her dreams can come true, so it is up to us, the adults, to support this notion (whether it makes sense to us or not!). Like little Joe, age three, who told me he is going to be a spaceship repairman. I said, “GO FOR IT.”

Her mom, Sam, came to her side and said, “You can do it! I believe in you,” and with a little push, she did it! Such words of encouragement made all the difference. Encouragement and mirroring may seem extremely simple to you. I agree. I also believe that many things are simple, but not always easy. For example, riding 100 miles on your bicycle is conceptually easy, but the practice becomes a whole lot harder.

Empowering Words

Words have power. Selecting just the right words and saying them to your child with meaning and enthusiasm can fuel his or her best life. Mother Teresa captured this sentiment when she said, “Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” I know this to be true. One event stands out in my mind. In 1998, I

A child so wholeheartedly wants to believe that his or her dreams can come true, so it is up to us, the adults, to support this notion. As you gather your emotional and mental forces to focus upon empowering your child or children, there are two techniques that can help you consciously empower them. They are: • Mirroring – It is the process of serving as the reflection of a child’s abilities, skills, and qualities, so they begin to “see” themselves as they really are—highly valuable, talented, and capable right now. Owen’s father (from above) mirrored to Owen his creative strengths. The effect was nearly immediate as you could see Owen feeling more positive and confident. • Encouragement – It is the act of literally “putting in courage” or belief in your child. Such support enables them to “see” themselves as they are—skilled, competent, and able right now. Madeline, age six, recently had her training wheels taken off. She was excited and terrified.

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was at a fancy dinner with my father, overlooking the Grand Canyon. He leaned over the table and said, “You are my biggest accomplishment!” I was surprised and delighted. He passed on later that year, but his words still sing in my soul. Children are the same. They listen with their minds and hearts to every word their parents, caregivers, teachers, and friends say. Words shape their world. Selecting just the right words and saying them to your child has the power to strengthen them, and in today’s world, every child needs to be strong from the inside out. More specifically, I believe words spoken with the intention to instill a greater level of confidence, courage, self-trust, optimism, and connection are essential words of empowerment. And to help you, the interested adult, I have included my definition of such inner qualities along with sample sayings below to get you started.

Sample Sayings

These sample sayings are excerpted from my upcoming parenting book, 365 Perfect Sayings, published by Greenleaf Book Group. The book was designed to help the busy adult say just the right thing to his or her child to empower them. Such sayings, I assure you, were written after years of study and practice bringing out the best in children worldwide. My travels have taken me to faraway places as remote as the base of the Himalayas (in the middle of winter!). So my child development experience is global, but my approach is personal—I really care. I want you to become adept at empowering your child. This means focusing upon developing the five inner qualities that facilitate a child to feel empowered, and they are: • Confidence – An ability to extend belief in oneself. A confident child believes that he or she can do it...and wins the spelling bee! • Courage – An ability to be strong from the inside out. A courageous child displays strength to face new situations, such as jumping off the diving board for the first time! • Connection – An ability to relate to self and others. A connected child values relationships and seeks to make friends (i.e., imaginary, real, pen pals, self-journaling). • Self-Trust – An ability to extend faith in one’s self. A child displaying self-trust believes and relies upon his or her self (i.e., inner feelings, thoughts, senses) to guide the way...and pick what color to paint the birdhouse! • Optimism – An ability to look at the positive side of life. An optimistic child tends to look for the “good things” in a situation and laughs easily. Each of these inner qualities by itself has the potential to propel a child’s healthy expansion; however, when nurtured in tandem, the sum of the empowered whole is far greater than the sum of the parts!

Selecting just the right words and saying them to your child has the power to strengthen them, and in today’s world, every child needs to be strong from the

inside out.

©istockphoto.com/ Olga Solovei

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More About Sayings

Each saying here was crafted to be playful and purposeful in guiding your child to feel more capable, confident, strong, connected, and positive about his or her self now. Such affirmations become increasingly potent when said with sincere enthusiasm, and their consistent repetition will help to pave positive pathways in your child’s growing mind. Quality

Saying

Confidence

Think You Can If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you are right, explained Henry Ford. A secret to success in life is BELIEVING you can do it. I certainly believe you can!

Courage

Heart-to-Heart Place your hand over your heart and say, “I am strong,” and feel it ever long! So anytime you need this INNER STRONG, place your hand on your heart and BOOM—there it is.

Connection

Together We are all in it together. So help your friends too—teach them to paint a birdhouse, sing a little ditty, or smile real pretty. Learning together makes you birds of a feather!

Self-Trust

Only You You are here to do what ONLY YOU can do. You fill a place that only you can fill. Enjoy being fully and completely YOU. WAHOO!!!

Optimism

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Happy Surprises Say “Happy Surprises Come to Me” in the morning and see what happens all day. Happy things are sure to find you in all sorts of unexpected ways!

As you continue to further harness the power of affirmations to support your child’s healthy mind, body, and spiritual development, I have a few recommendations. First, the more you can create a “habit” of utilizing positive affirmations in your life, the more it becomes a fun family habit. You can create a “Sayings Time” every day or week that is solely focused upon using the power of the word—playfully and purposefully. Second, I am a big fan of personalizing sayings. Tweak one of the affirmations from the chart or create a completely new one that holds significance for your child right now. For example, I created one titled “Bubble Up” that helped my client, Owen, age three, put an invisible bubble of protection around him, so he could feel strong in preschool. It was both a powerful and practical solution. Third, I want you to “pay attention” to how affirmations seem to influence your child. Does he or she smile right away? Are they more powerful in conjunction with music? Is it a spark for them? Can they create their own? Does a repeated affirmation create a visible difference? Consider this a challenge from me to you.

Last But Not Least

Have fun empowering your child or children! I believe it’s a process that has the potential to change the world, really. As more and more kids live from a place where they believe anything is possible, that they are strong right now, and that their dreams can come true, the world will be transformed. And as Marianne Williamson stated, “There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children.” Maureen Healy is the founder of Growing Happy Kids, a worldwide organization dedicated to bringing the best minds of our time together to grow happy children. She can also be found online with a Psychology Today Blog, as well as being a frequent guest speaker. Her upcoming book, 365 Perfect Sayings, will be available online as well as in a store near you. To learn more, visit www.growinghappykids.com.

As more and more kids live from a place where they believe anything is possible, that they are strong right now, and that their dreams can come true, the world will be transformed.

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