Emotional Intelligence Lesson7....docx

improving Your Emotional Intelligence

There are many resources available to help you raise your EQ, whether for personal or professional means. Depending on your goals, you may want to consider receiving professional help, or whether it would be more appropriate for you to engage in some self training. Much of the mental health industry is geared toward strengthening someone's ability to understand and regulate their emotions, cope with stress, and improve personal relationships. In short, most of therapy is all about EQ, even though it may not be phrased in exactly those terms. Many people are hesitant to receive any psychological help or counseling as they may believe it is a reflection of some disability or defect on their part. This could not be further from the truth. The fact is that virtually anyone, with any EQ, could benefit from training or therapy at various points in their lives. Everyone, at one or multiple points in their lives, has significant emotional challenges they must face. From the loss of a loved one, or a period of intense stress due to work or finances, to becoming a victim of violence -- we all face things for which we are not completely equipped. For some people, that trauma may be in the past, but the results of it can last a lifetime. For others, a specific incident or challenge may require brief help limited to a short time frame. While some people are able to easily handle major or complex challenges, others may struggle emotionally with seemingly simple or minor stress. It is critical for everyone to understand that we all have different coping mechanisms and resources and if we need assistance with strengthening our EQ, it is not a reflection of something we did or didn't do correctly.

Not all methods of raising your EQ have to take place in a therapist's office. Self-help seminars, books, and even online classes can be highly effective in helping someone strengthen their EQ and gain important skills and abilities. There are some simple processes that can help you strengthen your EQ, even working alone at home: First, develop your ability to manage stress. High levels of stress, whether temporary or ongoing, can overwhelm your mind and body, making even simple tasks substantially harder, thus increasing your stress and creating a vicious cycle. In order to regain control over your life, you have to learn how to rapidly reduce stress. First, work on recognizing when you are stressed. Obviously, we all have times where we can easily identify that we are feeling emotional stress. But there are also many times when we may be experiencing high levels of stress that are affecting our mental and physical well being when we may not even realize it. When we feel stressed mentally, we usually recognize it easily; if you have not felt stressed but you find yourself with a shortened temper or moments of rage or despair, chances are that you are experiencing a lot of stress. You should also learn to listen to your body which will most definitely communicate when distressed. Typically, you may find you are physically tensing your muscles, clenching your fists, grinding your teeth, and so on. You may also struggle with sleep or appetite; your body will try to communicate with you when it is overstressed, so it is important that you learn how to listen.

Once you realize you're stressed, identify what is causing the stress. It may be troubles at work, concerns about money, problems with personal relationships, such as those with your spouse or children, or virtually any other aspect of your life. Because we lack of control over so much of what we do, we are always experiencing stress of some kind. But when stress is so substantial that it is causing mental and or physical problems, it is critical to identify what factor or factors are causing the problem. Next, find ways to decrease or minimize the stress you are feeling. There may be things directly related to the cause of stress that you can do to help calm yourself. There will also be plenty of situations where it's not feasible for you to necessarily reduce the problem, in which case you must reduce how much it affects you emotionally. Many people find that practicing meditation, yoga, or Tai Chi can help them cope with stress. Others find that vigorous exercise, extra sleep, listening to music, playing with pets, or any other positive, tension-easing, or expressive activity is effective. What works for one person may not work for another, but almost everyone can find something that helps minimize the stress they feel.

Another key skill in improving your Emotional Intelligence is to learn how to recognize and manage your emotions. Now that you have learned how to recognize stress, you'll be better equipped to recognize other experiences and the feelings you have that result from them. While many times it seems easy to recognize feelings of sadness or anger, sometimes this is not the case. Many times the emotions we experience may be so frightening or overwhelming that we ignore or subconsciously deny that they exist. Dissatisfaction, resentment, disappointment, and even anger can often lie just under the surface and go unnoticed for a long time. Unfortunately, these negative emotions often culminate in major periods of upset and can wreak havoc with our lives if they are not recognized and managed in a timely and appropriate manner. Sometimes it can even be difficult to recognize and accept positive emotions, such as contentment and happiness. When we don't learn to recognize happiness and pleasurable emotions, they may not erupt the way negative emotions do, but they may play an even larger role in our long-term emotional well-being. You can increase your recognition of emotions the same way that you have learned it to recognize stress; your mind and body will communicate with you if you are open to receiving their messages. Fear, anger, joy, and so on can produce physical responses as well as mental responses. Your chest may tighten, or your stomach may clench when you are fearful or angry. You may experience a physical feeling of lightness when you are relieved, or increased energy when you're happy. Learn how your body communicates with you and be open to what it tells you. As you begin to recognize your emotions when you feel them, work to find a good balance of thoughts and feelings in the decisions you make. The vast majority of your decisions should not be made solely on how you feel (although there is some scientific indication that intuition may have some validity), but that doesn't mean your decisions

should be based on logic alone, either. Some decisions can be made using only objective measures, such as facts; it is imperative to recognize when certain decisions must integrate your feelings, or the feelings of others, as legitimate factors. Many of the times our emotions go unrecognized (and likewise mismanaged in the long run) is because we discredit them, only to discover later that the feelings are still there and do affect our overall well-being. Lastly, develop your communication skills. Nonverbal communication exists within our actions, our facial expressions, body movements, and more. In fact, even when we are communicating verbally, our nonverbal communication can support or discredit the words coming out of our mouths. Although recognizing another person's nonverbal communication is absolutely important, it will become a more natural process for you to interpret their nonverbal communication as you learn how to control your own. The more attention you pay to your own body language and facial expressions, not only will you be able to better communicate your message, you will also become better at recognizing and interpreting the messages of others. You can work to improve your body and facial communication by planning your movements prior to having an interaction with another person. Although it is helpful to do so when you are having an important conversation, you can also learn to better control your nonverbal communication before any interaction and plan ahead. For example, if you will be participating in a meeting at work, decide beforehand how you intend to sit, what you will do with your hands, and what your facial expressions will be. If you want to project interest in the discussion, plan to lean forward or sit upright rather than relaxing your posture. If you want to appear engaged, decide that you will look at the individuals speaking, rather than doodling on your pad of paper. If you want to communicate that you are on board with a decision, make a conscious effort to smile, nod your head, and

open your eyes. As you begin to communicate non-verbally, it will become more natural for you to do so and you won't need to plan ahead; as you progress, you will also learn to recognize the nonverbal communication cues of others. In this digital age, it is also important to remember that e-mail, instant messages, and text messages do not communicate body expression. This is important, because many statements or jokes made via typing are often misinterpreted, because there is no context of nonverbal communication. Be sure that when you don't have the opportunity to use body language or facial expressions, you communicate directly and politely.

Now that you are communicating effectively using body and facial expression, it's important that you improve your understanding of the nuances of other types of communication. While most people communicate primarily through words, whether spoken or written, verbal communication is not the only language people speak. Time, effort, and gifts are legitimate methods of communication, in addition to verbal and physical communication. By giving your time, energy, or other resources, you can communicate to someone what you like, how you feel, your recognition of their feelings, and so on. Nevertheless, it is absolutely critical to understand that your primary method

of communication may not be the same as that of someone else. Many times, when there is miscommunication, it is because one person is using some form of language that the other person does not understand or cannot recognize. Work to identify the way people around you prefer to communicate, and how they best understand your needs, as well as how you can understand theirs. Finally, fine-tune your verbal expression and learn to tackle challenging conversations. While many people mock the concept of semantics, the fact remains that miscommunication occurs far less frequently when people are precise with their language. By speaking simply, using objective terms, and recognizing the perspective of the person with whom you're communicating, you can minimize the likelihood of miscommunication. Moreover, as you gain confidence about your ability to effectively communicate, you will find yourself less fearful of tackling difficult subjects or major conversations. Too often we avoid uncomfortable discussions because we don't want any miscommunication to occur, or we are unsure of how to best approach the topic. By improving your communication skills and gaining confidence in your ability to effectively communicate, you will be better equipped and less anxious to tackle big subjects. This readiness and increased ability to communicate will massively increase your EQ, and increase your success in virtually all areas of life.

Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace at this point, you should have a solid understanding that there is tremendous room for the use of Emotional Intelligence skills in the workplace. In fact, while many major corporations utilize EQ testing and training to develop those in leadership positions, the reality is that social intelligence can benefit someone in virtually every field, at virtually every level of business. For example, consider the following: 

Management and leadership - While many people possess management or leadership potential based solely on their personality characteristics, those who do not are likely to appreciate the wisdom that can be gained from increasing their EQ and utilizing that new knowledge to strengthen their management style. EQ can benefit a manager's interaction with superiors, staff, and clients.

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Sales and marketing - Perhaps the most obvious area of job performance where Emotional Intelligence can play a tremendously important role, sales and marketing professionals can receive many benefits from EQ training. While many aspects of marketing as a field are based in extensive research, many individual marketing managers and certainly direct salespeople can benefit from Emotional Intelligence skills. The characteristics most useful within this type of work are going to be those relating to being able to determine and regulate the emotions and behaviors of others, typically through methods of persuasion. The persuasive patterns of behavior typically exhibited by highly successful sales and marketing personnel are often likely to include both verbal and nonverbal communication -- when in person -- and spoken, written, and pictured methods of communication when appropriate, such as in advertisements and other business copy materials.

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Service providers and customer service - When it comes to clients and customers, it's possible that Emotional Intelligence levels may also positively benefit employees who are able to assess what someone wants, then meet the need of the customer, sometimes without actually giving them what it is that they want. Put simply, providing good customer support is relatively easy when you have someone who is trained and generally has access to whatever it is the customer wants. What is much more difficult for many people to do, and may be substantially more difficult for people with lower EQ to do, is to identify and deliver what

combination of service, products, words, and behaviors will together provide the optimal results for the company and still meet the needs or desires of the client or customer. 

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Human Resources - HR departments sometimes get a bad rap for merely muddying the waters with paperwork, but in fact play one of the most crucial roles in any given company -that of counselor. Whether it's by actually being a go-to place for employees to vent, or by helping develop and improve communications between departments, HR can make the workplace livable long past when anyone would think it could be. By being able to identify and respond to the needs of those in a company, including the emotional needs, they can help smooth the road for employee after employee, while still being sure to follow rules, policies, and complex laws. on a daily basis, whether it's with dissatisfied employees, other departments, managers, su Administrative support - Although it may not be the first type of employee that leaps to mind when considering the impact of Emotional Intelligence, the fact is that administrative and support staff may be able to benefit substantially from improved EQ, as well. These employees are often in the background, but are genuinely the backbone of many successful companies. Many of these employees run interference ppliers, or customers. Even more important to many of us, these are the individuals that help determine how good or bad our day may be, often without us even realizing it. But employees are not the only people who can benefit from training in Emotional Intelligence. Business owners and entrepreneurs have found Emotional Intelligence training to be helpful to develop their own capacities, as well. Owners and entrepreneurs face many challenges where they have to be persuasive, charming, and reassuring at any given moment, including times where they may not be delivering good news. By improving their ability to get a read on someone, they can often determine how best to approach that individual to achieve their goals one of the key purposes behind Emotional Intelligence. However, there are some significant and substantial problems when it comes to the idea of using EI training to strengthen your work force. Most notably, there is very little research to demonstrate that high EQ levels have predictive value in the workplace; in fact, there has been some research that demonstrates exactly the opposite. Despite the fact that EQ has become wellknown for its popularity in being used in a workplace setting, the fact remains that, by and large, the research has not shown that high EQ levels - much less the success of training someone in EQ - predict whether or not someone will be successful in a work environment. Even the EQs of entrepreneurs and business owners do not seem to predictably correlate with their success or failure as a whole (though it may be more predictive in particular fields). Now, there are some studies that have shown a positive correlation, but others have demonstrated no correlation, or an inconsistent correlation, between job performance and EQ

levels. Of course, there are exceptions to this -- most notably when dealing with an individual or an occupation where displaying positive emotions is a critical part of the job. For example, a salesperson is more likely to benefit from having a higher EQ when interacting with the public, assuming they are demonstrating positive emotions. It's important to note this distinction, because much of the idea behind the power of Emotional Intelligence lies in the assumption that being able to regulate the emotions of others is what would make a person successful at work, which has now been shown not to be the case. Rather, it is when an employee has the ability to regulate their own emotions and project those emotions towards other that their Emotional Intelligence offers them the most benefit in terms of job performance. Many employers would now be asking what potential benefit there could be in training employees in Emotional Intelligence skills, given that it may not help predict their job performance. Although there is no conclusive data, some posit that the primary method by which Emotional Intelligence strengthens a business is not in improving the job performance of its employees, but rather in equipping employees with the emotional tools that will help them to be happier employees. By doing so, a company may be able to lessen its employee turnover, improve employee morale, and demonstrate a commitment to its employees to meet their emotional needs. In order to determine whether any particular individual or company may be able to benefit from psychologists or consultants in the workplace environment, it is suggested that you directly contact such companies to determine the likelihood of success for whatever your particular goals may be. Simply remember to be wary of any consultants offering wild claims that their techniques will benefit all of your employees and predict how well they will do in terms of job performance. Rather, focus on companies that want to equip your staff with knowledge that may be of benefit to them. when it comes to the ethical quandaries of utilizing EQ testing and training in a work environment, there are some very important considerations you must make. If you have been paying attention throughout this course, many of these considerations have already been identified. Primarily you will need to consider what your purposes and goals in testing and/or training your employees in EQ may be. Most importantly, you must recognize the limits of both EQ testing and training. Because you'll likely have many employees who have mental health conditions, personality disorders, or who may be on the autism spectrum, you must consider the ethics of evaluating your staff (or having someone else evaluate your staff) for any purpose that may include some type of judgment based on their results. Since you now know the limits of EQ in predicting job success, you should understand that not only is it unethical to judge an employee or potential employee based on EQ testing that may not be appropriate for their cognitive or personality functions, it is also impractical and inefficient to do so.

Of course, providing EQ testing and training to employees so they are better able to handle the challenges of a work environment, or to overcome their personal challenges, is completely appropriate. The real trick of using EQ testing and training to be purposeful may actually be to ensure that you, as an employer, never see the results of someone's test. If your goal is genuinely to strengthen their abilities to cope emotionally with challenges, there is nothing to be gained from your knowledge of their abilities (or lack thereof). In fact, you are more likely to get accurate assessments completed when they know they are not going to be evaluated or judged by you as an employer, but that you are providing the assessment and training so they are better equipped to meet their own needs.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ EQ and Personal Relationships

As we look into the implications of EQ on both personal relationships and job performance, we will examine how Emotional Intelligence can affect these areas, as well as the ethical implications of doing so. Since a sizable aspect of Emotional Intelligence, as a whole, relates to the regulation of other people's emotions, the moral and ethical questions raised by this process must be considered. Similarly, if you are a business owner or manager and are considering using EQ to train employees, assess a possible promotion, and so on, it is again necessary to challenge your rights and responsibilities in doing so. First, we identify the ways that high EQ can affect our relationships. When it comes to one's personal life, there are certainly going to be a wide range of views regarding what is, and is not, appropriate. The fact is that social interaction, to some degree, not only impacts, but actually determines the success or failure of most (if not all) of our personal relationships. Although there are some relationships that may be sustained without any expectations on one side or another, these are very rare and usually limited to parent-child relationships (and are certainly not always applicable then, either). Sustaining ongoing relationships with our family members, friends, and romantic partners requires some amount of Emotional Intelligence. In fact, some of what determines if a romantic relationship or friendship is going to be successful may actually be determined largely by the compatibility of two individuals' levels of Emotional Intelligence. While background experiences, values, and other characteristics are extremely important when determining compatibility, the level of each person's EQ is likewise important in determining whether a relationship will be successful.

That said, it isn't as simple as the level of EQ each partner has, but also the capability level of multiple aspects or domains of EQ and the compatibility (or lack thereof) between two individuals' EQ. Put simply, if two people had excellent Emotional Intelligence scores, it may not be as important as if other areas of their strengths and weaknesses are, or are not, compatible with each other. For example, one person may be phenomenal at memory but terrible at communication; if their partner is great with communication but struggles with emotional security, the two may be incompatible even if their overall EQ scores are similar. Furthermore, aspects of Emotional Intelligence that may generally be positive, may not be appropriate for a particular relationship based on the experiences, as well as the Emotional Intelligence of the other party. For example, a certain level of charm and charisma can certainly be considered an aspect of Emotional Intelligence; they help regulate the emotions of others with the purpose of achieving a specific goal (whether it is receiving a vote or a goodnight kiss). However, some people demonstrate a particular skill in recognizing attempts to charm and may overlook the other attributes of their potential partner, due to a prior bad relationship with someone who was gifted with charm, but was an emotionally unhealthy partner. Simply, our prior experiences can predispose us to interpret certain EQ strengths and weaknesses in ways that may not be entirely accurate for the individual in front of us at any given moment. Because the human experience is so wide ranging, it is critical to understand that these variations in experience and background may affect the interpretation of one person regarding the behaviors or demonstrated social intelligence of another individual; we may easily find ourselves being prejudicial toward certain EQ attributes or weaknesses, and we may also find ourselves as victims of another's prejudices in these areas. Similarly, as many people have discovered throughout their lives, it can also be a challenge to get those with whom we have already had a previous relationship to recognize the changes that we make to our Emotional Intelligence. In fact, it is sometimes difficult for us to remember, ourselves, that we have grown and changed emotionally. It's very common for people with a long history together to struggle with not falling into old patterns of behavior, including those that are damaging and unproductive. For example, two siblings who have since developed better EQ and resulting habits may still gripe and grumble and behave the way they did as children when they are around each other. In fact, the people who have known us the longest have usually seen us at times when our EQ was not where it should have been; these individuals, thus, are often able to provoke us emotionally, stripping away many of the changes we have worked hard to make within ourselves. Old friends and immediate family sometimes have the power to undo years of EQ bolstering with incredible speed. So what are the ethical issues regarding personal relationships and EQ? Due to the nature of personal relationships, it stands to reason there are many potential ethical pitfalls. When

someone engages in a personal relationship, especially if they are dependent upon the other person -- like a child -- or have chosen to enter a relationship of their own volition -- like a spouse -- there must exist a certain level of trust within the relationship. In fact, many hold on to the belief that someone who would violate the trust they are given by a person they are close to would be an individual of particularly low moral character. Unfortunately, having a particularly high EQ, along with the trust of another person, certainly has the potential to be highly destructive and damaging, but it doesn't have to be. While the value inherent to Emotional Intelligence, that of the ability to regulate the emotions of others, can potentially lead to destructive and manipulative behavior, it can also serve a positive purpose. Wearing your husband's favorite dress on a special date can be a positive use of Emotional Intelligence. Teaching your children to rely upon you to care for them when they jump into the water at a swimming pool is also a result of skills found in EQ, along with (usually) evidence that they can trust you based on past experience. Emotional Intelligence places a high value on one's ability to manipulate someone else into certain feelings or behaviors to serve a purpose. When it comes to personal relationships, you want to make sure that you are not misusing your Emotional Intelligence skills. In business, you will likely be using your EQ skills for a number of different reasons, but when it comes to your personal life, a good rule of thumb as to whether it is ethical or moral for you to use your EQ skills, is to question your motivations. If you are trying to get someone to do something that is positive, healthy, or helpful for them, you are probably making the right decision and using your EI powers for good. Similarly, if you are using your skills for your own benefit and that of the other person in the relationship -- such as complimenting your wife -- this should usually be okay, as well. Alternatively, if the purpose of your use of Emotional Intelligence seeks primarily or exclusively to serve your own needs or desires -- such as seducing someone into bed -- then you probably shouldn't do it. This is, in many ways, akin to the idea that if your behaviors and words are not based in integrity, and you are relying solely on your use of Emotional Intelligence, you should probably rethink your choices. Whereas if you utilize your Emotional Intelligence skills in a way that is not meant to deceive, but rather to convey your genuine thoughts or feelings, it is probably ethically okay to do so. Most of the time, when it comes to personal relationships, your actions will probably be very natural and you may not even process that you are utilizing your EQ skills. For some people, it does take purposeful thought and effort, even when it is completely genuine, as we are not all given the same natural Emotional Intelligence. But again, this is another opportunity to appreciate the fact that many Emotional Intelligence skills can be learned and your weaknesses can likely be transformed into strengths with some time and effort. When discussing personal relationships and the role of Emotional Intelligence, it is also important to remember that not all social intelligence skills are about recognizing and regulating the emotions of others. For an individual's mental well being, it is absolutely vital

that they learn how to recognize and regulate their own emotions. In fact, the inability or limited ability to do so may contribute to being one of the primary reasons that personality disorders are considered psychiatric disorders, rather than simply cognitive. For an individual who does not know how to recognize their own feelings, it is virtually impossible to regulate them; those struggling with borderline personality disorder or histrionic personality disorder are known for having limited ability to regulate their own emotions. Many of us, including those who are neurotypical and lacking mental or personality disorders, are able to recognize our own emotions, but may not always know how to regulate them appropriately. By increasing our own Emotional Intelligence, we are better able to recognize patterns and alter our behaviors to better handle our own emotions. This also is incredibly important when considering interpersonal relationships, as it helps us better learn what we do and do not want, and what we can and cannot handle.

7. Criticism of the Theoretical Foundation and Measures of Assessment of Emotional Intelligence

Now that we have explored the different models of Emotional Intelligence and briefly discussed the positive aspects of Emotional Intelligence as a whole, it's time to recognize the many criticisms of the EQ concept, and of measurement methods of Emotional Intelligence. One of the primary criticisms of the theoretical foundation of EQ is the assumption made within certain models of EQ that Emotional Intelligence is a form of true intelligence. Intelligence has been defined in a variety of ways within different fields and typically includes concepts such as logic, understanding, abstract thought, self awareness, ability to learn, problem solving, communication, and so on. Within the field of psychology, there are different approaches to human intelligence, the most famous of which is psychometrics. Psychometrics is the measure of certain cognitive abilities and includes IQ, as well as some scholastic measurements. Some psychologists also recognize a general intelligence factor. While most IQ tests will measure certain cognitive functions, such as pattern recognition and natural language skills, Emotional Intelligence typically measures other cognitive processes, such as memory, rapid decision-making, and ability to retrieve general knowledge.

Both of these concepts relate closely with the idea of Emotional Intelligence, and some psychologists argue that Emotional Intelligence quotients are merely aspects of general intelligence. Defining intelligence is controversial and certainly leads to some of the challenges with getting EQ recognized as a form of legitimate intelligence. Historically speaking, there are two definitions of intelligence that have been proposed by experts in various fields. First, 52 researchers put forth the following proposed definition of intelligence: "A very general mental capability that, among other things, involves the ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend complex ideas, learn quickly, and learn from experience. It is not merely book learning, and narrow academic skill, or test-taking smarts. Rather, it reflects a broader and deeper capability for comprehending our surroundings catching on, making sense of things, or figuring out what to do." Alternatively, a 1995 report that was published by the Board of Scientific Affairs of the American Psychological Association defined intelligence as the following: "Individuals differ from one another in their ability to understand complex ideas, to adapt effectively to the environment, to learn from experience, to engage in various forms of reasoning, to overcome obstacles by taking thought. Although these individual differences can be substantial, they're never entirely consistent: A given person's intellectual performance will vary on different occasions, in different domains, as judged by different criteria. Concepts of intelligence are attempts to clarify and organize this complex set of phenomena. Although considerable clarity has been achieved in some areas, no such conceptualization has yet answered all of the important questions, and none commands universal assent. Indeed, when two dozen prominent theorists were recently asked to define intelligence, they gave two dozen, somewhat different, definitions."

Obviously, it is easy to see why some criticize Emotional Intelligence as a form of true intelligence, given that it remains essentially impossible for psychologists to define what incorporates intelligence itself. This hotly contested issue is often considered one of semantics that may play an important role in developing the psychological theories of Emotional Intelligence, but may not be particularly relevant to many of the people who utilize concepts of EQ in a practical arena. Why does it matter? As just mentioned, it may not matter at all to people who are attempting to utilize the concepts of EQ to better themselves or others. Within the field of psychology, it does matter, primarily because prior to the development of Emotional Intelligence theories, the general psychological world had defined and established theoretical distinctions between certain abilities, skills, habits, attitudes, personality traits, and emotional states. As EI theories have been developed, it has resulted in some dissent within the field, as it combines many of these qualities into this concept of EI, removing them from being distinctly different constructs.

Another of the more popular criticisms of Emotional Intelligence is whether or not it has the ability to generate any accurate predictions regarding an individual's success, although most models claim they do have varying predictive value. Some of the research that seems to support some predictive value within Emotional Intelligence may make accurate predictions, according to these critics, but they may be predicting things not based on a genuine idea of Emotional Intelligence, so much as on personality characteristics that could have been predicted using a personality assessment, rather then being a genuinely unique to the EQ concept.

When it comes to criticisms regarding the measurement of EQ, it is easy to see why the majority of EQ measurement assessments are heavily criticized for reasons already discussed. Most specifically, the arguments typically involve heavy criticism of the use of self report that many of the EI models rely upon. But the self reports are not the only cause for concern, according to those offering critiques about EI measurement methods. One of the more obvious criticisms is that some of the models -- particularly the Ability Model -does not measure ability, but rather measures conformity. Because the measures of the Ability Model require a comparison be made between an individual and others who have taken the assessment on a global scale, using common patterns of social skills, some critics argue that this is a measure of conformity far more than actual ability on an individual basis. The Ability Model is heavily criticized for other reasons, as well; it is accused of measuring knowledge more so than ability (again, thus making the Ability Model not a form of true intelligence). The Trait Model, and some other models, are also criticized as measuring personality characteristics and general intelligence, rather then a distinct Emotional Intelligence. There are some critiques that identify the use of Emotional Intelligence, when serving the express needs of a business or corporation, to sometimes disregard any potential stresses or psychological disturbances due to EI assessments, and training that does not also address an individual's general psychological state or the use of Emotional Intelligence techniques in other areas of life. Of course, the main criticism of measurement of Emotional Intelligence always returns to the issue of self report. Although there are models of EI that do not rely solely on self report, many of them do, making it particularly challenging to verify the results according to psychological standards. While acknowledging that there are certainly studies where self report is the only possible method of measurement, it is nevertheless ideal for other forms of measurement to be used whenever possible. Self reports are typically looked down upon for a number of reasons. First, it may simply reflect the individual's interpretation of the question and (when applicable) potential answers. A sound assessment should be composed of clear and unambiguous questions and answers that have been fully vetted before use. Nevertheless, when an individual is performing a self assessment, they may easily interpret a question or answer differently than it was meant even under the best circumstances. Thus, false data is produced.

A second very common concern with self reporting is when people lie. The fact is that people often want to make themselves appear to be as successful or capable as possible. Particularly if an assessment is being conducted by an individual's place of work, or a contractor is brought in who will be sharing results with the employer, the subject will obviously want to appear as capable as possible -- sometimes resulting in an inauthentic assessment. Of course, false reports can be given a in a self report by individuals who do not mean to lie, but who simply perceive themselves in a way that may not provide an accurate reflection of their Emotional Intelligence. People tend to want to believe they are capable and successful in a number of ways that may not be accurate. These individuals will have inaccurate assessments, though they never meant to answer disingenuously.

8. Emotional Intelligence, Personality Disorders, and Individuals on the Autism Spectrum

Thus far, we have identified the various models of Emotional Intelligence, how it interacts with personality characteristics, and common criticisms of EQ. All of these previous lessons are contingent upon the Emotional Intelligence of a neurotypical person lacking any major psychological or personality disorders. But the reality is that an astonishing number of people fall into these groups and an EQ assessment may produce radically different results that may not accurately reflect their Emotional Intelligence, as a whole. For individuals with major psychological conditions, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and so on, the results of their assessment may vary considerably based upon the severity of their condition, their use (or lack) of medication, and participation (or lack thereof) in counseling or therapy. Nevertheless, these conditions, while affecting the thoughts and behaviors of these individuals, will not be discussed in depth within this course as properly medicated individuals with a psychological disorder are typically able to moderate themselves and provide a fairly accurate EQ assessment. Individuals with personality disorders, or those on the autism spectrum, can actually provide a greater challenge in establishing their EQ. There are numerous personality disorders that may affect anyone on the receiving end of an EQ assessment. Because personality disorders are not typically as well known by the general public as many of the major psychological disorders, many employers would be surprised to find how many of their employees have psychological disorders. This is the same for those on the autism

spectrum, as well. While recognizing autism in children has become better understood by the general public in recent years, how autism presents itself in adults remains a mystery to most of the general public. In fact, there are many individuals on the autism spectrum, especially those with Asperger's Syndrome (a high functioning form of autism), who may be unaware themselves that they are on the autism spectrum, as autism was not nearly as well known or tested for during the childhood of many of today's adult workers. Just as we have already explored how integral a role personality plays in Emotional Intelligence, it should come as no surprise to find that personality disorders can dramatically alter a person's Emotional Intelligence in a number of ways. First, it is necessary to understand what constitutes a personality disorder and how accurate or inaccurate some of the things you anticipate about personality disorders may be, especially when it comes to Emotional Intelligence.

"Personality disorders" refers to a group of mental disorders that are characterized by generally accepted standards of unproductive or maladaptive behaviors, inner experiences, and cognition that are exhibited in a number of contexts. Personality disorders typically reflect behaviors and thought processes that are substantially different from those accepted by an individual's culture. Personality disorders typically show these alterations from accepted norms of behavior early in an individual's life and are, relatively speaking, inflexible. Some personality disorders can be successfully managed, but they are often considered indicative of emotional distress and can often be debilitating. While personality disorders are not the same as major psychiatric disorders, many of them are co-morbid, frequently occurring within the same individual. An estimated 40 percent to 60 percent of psychiatric patients are diagnosed with a personality disorder, which makes it the most frequent of all psychiatric diagnoses. Many individuals exhibit some signs of a personality disorder, but in order to meet diagnostic criteria, the patterns of behavior and/or thought must be substantial enough that they cause considerable disruption in personal, social, or occupational functioning. Moreover, the thought patterns and behaviors will be consistent throughout many different scenarios, whereas a person without a personality disorder, but who demonstrates some characteristics of a personality disorder, are often able to mitigate their behaviors -- or they may only show certain behaviors under particular circumstances. There are three clusters of personality disorders, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association; there are also a few other instances of a personality disorder that do not fall in one of these clusters.

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Cluster A. This cluster is composed of personality disorders that are primarily odd or eccentric in nature, including paranoid personality disorder (one of the more commonly known disorders, wherein the individual displays patterns of irrational suspicion and mistrust of others, often assuming that others are out to get them or hurt them). There is also schizoid personality disorder, which is characterized by restricted emotional expression and a lack of interest in social relationships, as well as schizotypal personality disorder, which demonstrates a pattern of extreme discomfort with interacting socially, including distorted cognition and perceptions.

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Cluster B. This cluster is composed of erratic, emotional, and dramatic disorders. Within this cluster, there are four personality disorders recognized: antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is a pattern of disregard for the rights of others; most people with antisocial personality disorder lack the capacity for empathy. Those with borderline personality disorder struggle with instability in relationships, self image, and identity which often leads to impulsive acts as well as self harm; a key feature of an individual with borderline personality disorder is an inability to properly control their emotions. Histrionic personality disorder demonstrates a pervasive pattern of excessive emotions and attention-seeking behaviors. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder is likely to demonstrate patterns of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a deep-seated need for admiration and attention.

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Cluster C. The cluster C group consists of the anxious or fearful disorders, such as avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (another one of the more commonly known disorders). Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by severe feelings of social inhibition and inadequacy, as well as extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation or criticism. In avoidant personality disorder, we can recognize how common it is to feel some characteristics of these disorders; many of us feel sensitive to criticism and have some level of social discomfort, but most of us are still able to function and go about our daily lives, including job reviews and uncomfortable social outings. Someone genuinely struggling with avoidant personality disorder is likely to structure their entire lives around avoiding those exact situations which, for the rest of us, merely occur at varying levels of discomfort. Dependent personality disorder describes a pervasive need to be cared for by others. Lastly, obsessive-compulsive personality disorders are characterized by an obsessive need to conform to particular rules and to exercise control, even over things where it is irrational to expect to have control. These are the top specific personality disorders recognized by the American Psychological Association. There is also generalized personality disorder, and it is possible for some personality disorders to develop resulting directly from the effects of a medical condition that alters one's cognition.

When it comes to the autism spectrum, many people are only familiar with classical autism and have limited knowledge of other conditions within the autism spectrum. Moreover, many people make the mistake believing there is only one "type" of autism, meaning that frequently people assume that all autistic individuals have roughly the same capabilities and characteristics. Anyone who has known more than one person with classic autism, or is on the autism spectrum, knows that is not the case. The three most commonly accepted conditions on the autism spectrum include classic autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and PDD-NOS. Classical autism is typically characterized by delays or abnormal functioning, which is often displayed around the age of three or four. The delay or abnormal functioning may be in the domain of social interaction, often demonstrates repetitive actions and challenges with social interaction, and may have cognitive delays ranging from slight to disabling. Those with Asperger's syndrome, however, typically do not suffer from cognitive delays -- or they may have only mild cognitive delays; and deviance from common social interactions and behaviors usually is not displayed in early language development, such as it is in classic autism. Many individuals, particularly adults, with Asperger's syndrome may not be aware of it and can often be mistaken for merely being odd or weird. PDD-NOS is considered to be an atypical form of autism and is sometimes mistaken for Asperger's syndrome, as both are typically higher functioning than classic autism. In PDD-NOS, symptoms may be very mild, or may only present in one domain, such as difficulty with social interaction. Most typically, people with this diagnosis may demonstrate pervasive patterns of social difficulties, such as a lack of reciprocal social interaction or stereotyped behaviors; some of these characteristics are similar to some personality disorders, but within an individual may not meet the criteria for a specific developmental or psychological disorder. Given what you now know about personality disorders and the autism spectrum, it should be evident that these variables between one individual and the next may dramatically affect results of an Emotional Intelligence test. Those on the autism spectrum are literally wired differently in their brains; some personality disorders may be, as well. Moreover, many individuals on the spectrum, or who may have a personality disorder, operate cognitively in a relatively typical fashion when it comes to certain types of work. Many of them can learn various coping mechanisms that optimize their capabilities and minimize their personal challenges and are consequently able to sustain long-term work and personal relationships. Nevertheless, an EQ test is unlikely to measure the exact same qualities in an individual with these differences, as compared with those who are neurotypical and without any psychological or

psychiatric conditions. These results would obviously be tremendously skewed, even though it may not affect the aspects of their lives for which they are undergoing an EQ test. Moreover, even if a test were to demonstrate an accurate reflection of an individual's EQ (after all, for example, those on the autism spectrum are lacking in social skills as part of their actual diagnosis), its usefulness would still be highly suspect. Training an individual on the autism spectrum to increase their EQ is likely to be wasted effort, as their brains simply work differently than those who are neurotypical. While the individual may be able to alter their own abilities and develop coping skills to some degree, it typically requires specific training and expertise to do so. When an individual seems to do adequately well at their job, but are undergoing testing for EQ, it's imperative for anyone interpreting the results to bear in mind these cognitive and personality differences. Although many of these people may not show positive or comparable results, it is unfair -- and more importantly, inaccurate -- to hold them to a totally different standard, and it's critical to understand that many individuals with personality disorders, and many on the autism spectrum, are unaware they have these differences. While skills related to EQ are certainly valuable and purposeful, a lack of certain EQ skills does not mean that a person is incapable or incompetent to perform their job; it may simply mean they are operating on a different basis than others. motional Intelligence & Borderline Personality Disorder Kathryn Gardner University of Central Lancashire October 2006

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Over the past decade or so there has been an increasing interest in the term “Emotional Intelligence” or “EI”. In 1996 Daniel Goleman made some grand claims about EI; he claimed that EI is twice as important as IQ for success in life and made the EI concept a household name. However, these claims have little scientific support, and it was John Mayer and Peter Salovey in the late 1980s early 1990s who actually coined the term “Emotional Intelligence”, later redefining the term in 1997 and proposing a model describing EI as a real cognitive ability similar to IQ. Mayer and Salovey currently suggest that EI involves four main cognitive based skills: “…the ability to perceive accurately, appraise, and express emotion; the ability to access and/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; the ability to understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and the ability to regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth.” Is Emotional Intelligence Twice as Powerful as IQ? So what about Goleman’s claims then? Is there now evidence to suggest that EI is twice as important as IQ in predicting life success? Have we found an alternative route to success for those with lower than average IQ? Unfortunately, the excitement of this possibility was shortlived. There are now numerous studies showing that EI is not twice as important as IQ in predicting successful life outcomes. However, what we do now know is that EI can have a significant impact on success in many life domains. EI affects our academic, occupational, personal and mental health functioning. Just like there are individual differences in happiness and self-esteem, so too do individuals differ with regard to their levels of EI: some individuals possess high levels of EI, others may have deficits in certain areas of EI but not others, and others may have generally low levels of EI.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence for Mental Health Research on emotional intelligence has moved on in recent years. There are now a whole host of studies showing that EI is important for mental health. Low EI has been associated with depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, suicidal feelings, aggressive behaviour, poor impulse control, poor interpersonal adjustment, increased stress, increased alcohol and drug use and even personality disorder. In contrast, high EI has been linked with increased wellbeing such as greater satisfaction with life and increased happiness. In addition, research has shown that different components of EI may be implicated in different mental health problems. For example, Ciarrochi, Deane and Anderson (2002) found that low emotion regulation was related to increased depression, whilst perception of emotion was not.

Emotional Intelligence and Borderline Personality Disorder Although there are now many studies pointing to the negative impact of low EI on a person’s mental health, there is still a great deal of research that needs to be done in this area. Only a small handful of studies have actually examined each of the mental health difficulties described above, with many studies suffering from inadequate methodology e.g., the continuous use of university students as participants means that the majority of research findings do not apply to members of the general public. The relationship between EI and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has only been examined in one or two studies. According to the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition Text Revision, 2000), BPD is “a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts” (p. 706). BPD is a disorder characterised by clear and profound deficits in the ability to understand and regulate ones emotions and moods; disturbances in emotion are associated with most of the DSM-IV BPD diagnostic criteria (Levine, 1992). It therefore comes as no big surprise that researchers Leible and Snell found that individuals with BPD had deficits in several aspects of their emotional intelligence. Despite these findings though, we are actually a long way away from developing EI based programs and therapies to assist those with BPD, as much research remains to be done if we are to really discover exactly what components of EI play key roles in which aspects of BPD. That said, it has been suggested that the BPD features of affective instability, chronic feelings of emptiness and inappropriate, intense anger are all indicative of problems in emotion processing, or to put it another way, these criteria are suggestive of low EI. Similarly, impulsivity, self-harm, fear of abandonment and dissociative symptoms (other characteristics of BPD) can all be viewed as abnormal responses to emotions, so those with low EI might display these behaviours and characteristics due to insufficient ability to manage their emotions. We could also say the same about problems with interpersonal relationships and identity disturbance, as both areas will be affected by how a person expresses, uses and manages their emotions on a daily basis. So it seems obvious really; we’d typically expect low EI to be related to all the main features of BPD, although research it is very rarely so clear cut! Seeking to determine whether deficits in EI are associated with BPD may not seem like the most innovative scientific research question, given that researchers such as Marsha Linehan have spent decades developing theories of BPD that have a strong focus on emotion dysregulation, a concept that shares many similarities with EI. Linehan is currently the founder of one of the most effective treatment for BPD (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy: DBT; and I say “one of” because there are other effective treatments), based on her theory of the

aetiology (i.e., causes) of the disorder. Amongst other things, DBT has a strong focus on helping people with BPD control and regulate their emotions, skills which would also be the focus of any treatment approach aimed at developing and enhancing emotional intelligence. To my knowledge though, DBT is currently only being offered to clients or researched in very few places around the UK. It is also an intensive and costly treatment (as discussed later) so developing new treatments (based on EI perhaps) could be one way forward.

Emotional Intelligence based Treatments for BPD If in five years there are twenty more studies showing that low EI is associated with BPD, and also which aspects of EI are related to certain parts of BPD, does this then mean that we’ve found some sort of magical solution to treating BPD? That is, will treatments based on EI be effective for BPD? Well, it is highly unlikely that a therapy based solely on developing EI skills would be sufficient enough to treat a complex disorder such as BPD. Personality disorders such as BPD develop as a result of a complex interaction of factors, including abuse, certain life events and neurochemical imbalances. Consequently, treatment will never be simple. But this doesn’t mean that EI based therapy will be useless. For example, we could set up EI group therapy programs which would allow many people to attend at once to learn various emotional coping skills whilst they wait for more intensive therapy such as DBT. There are similar group treatments out there at the moment, but not ones that are based directly on EI models and core EI skills. In the UK our national health system currently has a 2 year waiting list to see a therapist, and so we urgently need treatments and programmes that can help people cope in the meantime, whilst they are on such waiting lists. EI programmes could be the way forward. Furthermore, EI-based skills are often the focus of Marsha Linehan's Dialectical Behaviour Therapy which is an effective treatment for BPD. Alternatively, we could use EI based programs alongside more intense therapies, to act as an additional prop or support system. Either way, the teaching of certain emotion regulation skills targeted in EI therapies could have beneficial effects such as reducing the frequency of behaviours associated with BPD, such as self-harm. What Might Programs and Therapies based on Emotional Intelligence Involve Exactly? Individual psychological treatment such as DBT is both costly and timely, both to the NHS and ourselves if we opt for private treatment. Group therapy is a more cost effective treatment, and whilst there are differing views among professionals regarding the usefulness of group therapy for those with BPD, it can often be an effective treatment. For example, clients who have trouble recognising problems with their behaviour might be able to overcome their denial by observing these behaviours in others. Consequently, I therefore believe that one of the best ways that EI programs could have a positive impact would be in a

group setting (as discussed above). In DBT, the teaching of emotion regulation skills is a skill that is taught in group therapy by someone other than the client’s individual therapist. “‘Emotion modulation skills’ are ways of changing distressing emotional states and 'distress tolerance skills' include techniques for putting up with these emotional states if they can not be changed for the time being” (Kiehn & Swales, 1995). EI treatment group members can be taught skills such as: recognising and identifying their own and others emotions; understanding their emotional patterns as opposed to being overwhelmed by them; expressing their emotions appropriately and in adaptive ways; and reflecting upon their emotional experiences. Clearly group therapy is not the only option though; it is also possible that EI based skill development could be incorporated into other existing one-to-one treatments. So far EI research has had little influence on existing clinical practice, as there is still much to be researched about this construct. Only time will tell whether BPD treatment such as EI based group therapy, really is the way forward.

Contributing to Research on Emotional Intelligence If you would like to help to advance research on EI you can do so by participating in a study being run by myself at the University of Central Lancashire. The research is all conducted over the internet and simply involves completing a number of online questionnaires. The main purpose of the research is to investigate the relationship between emotional intelligence and different aspects of personality associated with BPD (e.g., changes in mood, impulsive behaviour). The research is not about showing what causes BPD (e.g., emotion regulation difficulties), but about seeing what psychological factors (e.g., EI) relate to the disorder. If EI is important to BPD (which I'm sure it is and there is evidence to suggest this will be the case), then this is a step toward showing that EI programs may be valuable for those suffering from the disorder. Everyone who takes part can receive their score and feedback on one of the most widely used (scientifically developed) EI instruments available, as well as a comprehensive EI Workbook. Finally, you can also receive feedback on your current levels of Happiness and Satisfaction with Life. The project is running from around October 2006 until May 2009. If you want to participate go to www.e-intell.co.uk or if you require further information please contact Kathryn Gardner at the University of Central Lancashire using the following e-mail address: [email protected] Kathryn Gardner University of Central Lancashire October 2006