Emotional Intelligence

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to use your understanding of emotions, in yourself and others. To deal effectively with people and problems in a way which reduces anger and hostility, develops collaborative effort, enhances life-balance and produces creative energy.

IMPORTANCE OF E I DECISION MAKING Our

emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make

decisions. Studies show that when a person’s emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn’t know how he will feel about his choices.

BOUNDARY SETTING

When

we feel uncomfortable with a person’s behaviour, our emotions alert us. If

we learn to trust our emotions and feel confident expressing ourselves we can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling. This will help us set our boundaries which are necessary to protect our physical and mental health.

IMPORTANCE OF E I COMMUNICATION Our

emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for

example, can convey a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more about our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we will be able to understand what they are trying to communicate. UNITY Our

emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of

the human species. Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us. Far

too often, in fact, they have tragically and even fatally divided us. Emotions, on

the other hand, are universal. The emotions of empathy, compassion, cooperation, and forgiveness, for instance, all have the potential to unite us as a species.

THE COMPONENTS OF EQ PERSONAL COMPETENCE Self-Regulation Motivation

SOCIAL COMPETENCE Empathy Social

skills

SELF – AWARENESS Defining

the ability to

recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effects on others

Hallmarks

Self confidence Realistic self-assessment Sense of humour

THE COMPONENTS OF EQ SELF-REGULATION

DEFINITION The

ability to control

or redirect disruptive impulses and moods The

propensity to

suspend judgment; to think before acting

HALLMARKS

Self

control

Trustworthiness

Comfort

and integrity

with ambiguity

Openness

to change

PERSONAL COMPETENCE

Self-Awareness Motivation A

passion to work for

Achievement

reasons which go beyond money or

Commitment

status Initiative

Optimism A

propensity to

pursue goals with energy and persistence

Drive

PERSONAL COMPETENCE SOCIAL COMPETENCE

COMPONENT

DEFINITION

HALLMARKS

Empathy The

ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people

Understanding Developing

Skill

in treating people according to their emotional reactions

Service

others

others

orientation

Leveraging

diversity

PERSONAL COMPETENCE SOCIAL COMPETENCE

COMPONENT

DEFINITION Social

HALLMARKS

Skill

Proficiency

in managing relationships and building networks

Influence Communication Conflict

An

ability to find common ground and build rapport.

management Leadership Change catalyst Building bonds Collaboration Team capabilities

EQ Vs IQ Emotional

intelligence gives you a competitive edge.

Where

every one is smart, studies find that the most valued and productive engineers are those with the traits of emotional intelligence-not necessarily the highest IQ. Having

great intellectual abilities may make you a superb fiscal analyst or legal scholar, but a highly developed emotional intelligence will make you a candidate for CEO or a brilliant trial lawyer. Empathy

and other qualities of the heart make it more likely that your marriage will thrive. Lack of those abilities explains why people of high IQ can be such disastrous pilots of their personal lives. An

analysis of the personality traits that accompany high IQ in men who also lack these Emotional competencies portrays, the stereo typical nerd: critical and condescending, inhibited and uncomfortable with sensuality, emotionally bland. By

contrast, men with the traits that mark emotional intelligence are piosed and outgoing, committed to people and causes, sympathetic and caring, with a rich but appropriate emotional life-they’re comfortable with themselves, others, and the social universe they live in.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS Boys

This

Childhood Roots

Intimate Enemies

and girls are taught different lessons in handling emotions.

results in girls becoming adept at reading both verbal and non-verbal emotional

signals, at expressing and communicating their feelings.

Boys

become adept in minimizing emotions having to do with vulnerability, guilt, fear

and hurt.

Women

Men

come into marriage groomed for the role of emotional marriage.

arrive with much less appreciation of the importance of this task for helping a

relationship survive.

MAPPING FAULT LINES IN A MARRIAGE Harsh

Flight

criticism / leaden with contempt. (stonewalling) or fight response to such criticism.

Victimized

feelings / righteous indignation.

Emotional

hijacking or flooding leading to hyper vigilance for any attack, insult etc.

Leading

Divorce.

of parallel lives – feeling lonely within a marriage.

EPICTETUS – ANCIENT PHILOSOPHER

‘Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them’ Epictetus