Effective Feedback Ver2

Being Leaders Effective feedback and difficult conversations Kumar Kolin December, 2005

For internal use only – Do not distribute

Agenda

• Introductions – 10 mts • Why feedback – 10 mts • Yogender case – 60 mts • The world of quadrants – 30 mts • Difficult conversations – 60 mts • Summary – 10 mts

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A Winning proposition for exceptional people • Stimulating, challenging work • Clear expectations

• Continuous feedback • • • •

Unparalleled learning Explicit career paths Fair reward and recognition Inclusive culture

Lack of feedback is in the top 3 reasons why people quit

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What motivates people?

•Need for achievement •Need for affiliation •Need for power

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Ethos/ Pathos

The Feedback Quadrant

“Feel good”

Constructive

“Shock”

Informative Data

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Yogender Case – 30 mts • Break into 4 teams and give feedback to.. – – – –

Y.S Nagarjuna Fatima Steve Nallathambi Yogender Gupta

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Rules of inter-personal feedback • Each person must understand what was said • Must be willing to receive • Must be able to do something to fix

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Common feedback dilemma • Individual performance vs team player • Attitude vs Skill

“The politically right feedback“

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Monitoring performance

INFERIOR

P2

SUPERIOR

SUPERIOR TUMBLER

WINNERS

? “L”

CLIMBERS

P1

INFERIOR

WORKNG ON WEAKNESS VS STRENGTH

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Know the person , gather facts Enjoy Work NO

GOOD

YES

Strivers

Stars



Bandwidth Hogs?

Performance

BAD

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Promotion – The Bermuda triangle

C

Skill

B

D A

E Will

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Effective Feedback - Factors in Giving Feedback “Feedback on the run is better than none“

Helping Factors

Hindering Factors

• • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • •

Describe Specific (behaviour) Recent examples Describe consequences Problem oriented Convey inner feelings Test for validity Test for receptivity

Evaluate General (traits) Old examples Blame and judge Person oriented Attribute motive Convey certainty Convey power edge

“All ambiguous messages are interpreted negatively“ Copyright © 2005 Deloitte Development LLC. All rights reserved.

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Communicating as a counselor

•Use discussions not forms •Synthesize – Not dump •Understand how “they“ process information •Use their vocabulary •Talk as a colleague •Pick the right time •Just listen

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Difficult conversations • They are usually 3 conversations at once – What happened? – Feelings – How do you handle them? – Identity – What does this mean about me?

The conversation trinity Neutral Observer

Mine Copyright © 2005 Deloitte Development LLC. All rights reserved.

Yours 14

The conversation checklist • Step 1 : Prepare walking through 3 conversations • Step 2 : Consider your purpose, what are you going to achieve? Blame gets you no where. How best are you going to address this? • Step 3 : Try starting as a neutral observer would, be explicit and create a partner situation (Cannot demand a partnership) • Step 4 : Explore both sides, use inquiry, acknowledge feelings, paraphrase, share your point of view • Step 5 : Problem solve, find a solution to live with, Keep communication going forward Copyright © 2005 Deloitte Development LLC. All rights reserved.

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Difficult conversation – Role play • Pick a difficult conversation

• Teams of 3

• Giver, receiver and observer

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Receiving Feedback • Enter the experience as an opportunity to learn, not as a judgment of your character or potential • Catch and curtail your defensiveness • Balance advocacy and inquiry • Summarize what you undertstand the other person to be saying • Ask questions of clarification for better understanding • Listen rather than explain • Ask for specifics about how you could have been more effective

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Some golden rules

"All ambiguous messages are interpreted negatively“ - “Feedback is not about everything that bothers you” - “Feedback sessions are like a date. Pick the right time, place and create an atmosphere” - “Kindness can be the cruellest form of feedback” - "You make a lot of difference to a lot of good people“ - “Facts create feelings” - “Feedback on the run is better than none” - “Feedback sessions are like a date”

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