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Unformatted text preview: THE FIRST DICTIONARY SALESMAN SCRIPT Sami is sitting on a broken chair in his room and thinking how to fix the broken leg of the chair, then doorbell rang. Sami opens the door SAMI: Hello, Can I help you? SALESMAN: Hello, No good Sir, but surely I have to be a grantees assistance to you. SAMI: Are you speaking a foreign language, we don’t understand foreigners here. SALESMAN: No Sir, I am offering you an opportunity for eloquence simply by listening to my diatribe and partaking in a simple remedy for melody that has plagued mankind forever. SAMI: Oh my god! He’s got the fever. SAMI panics and closed the door. SALESMAN: Open the door. SALESMAN knocks at the door multiple times. SAMI: No way, you are infected. SALESMAN: I am not… SAMI interrupts the SALESMAN SAMI: Oh man, you got the fever, go away. SALESMAN knock again and speaks loudly this time. SALESMAN: I don’t have the fever. SAMI gets confused and asks the SALESMAN again SAMI: You don’t? Are you sure? SALESMAN: No way, now can I come in please? SAMI: Are you sure, you’re clean? SALESMAN: I’m clean. SAMI opens the door. SAMI: Then why are you talking like that? SALESMAN: I’m trying to see you a book. SALESMAN enter into the house SAMI: A book? SALESMAN: Yes a book! SALESMAN introduces himself SALESMAN (cont’d): My name is Dictionary and I have here a book of words. SAMI: Oh Story. SALESMAN: No, no story. SAMI: But you said there’s words. SALESMAN: Yes there are words and their meaning. SAMI: What’s the plot? SALESMAN: There is no plot. SAMI gets confuse and calls her wife MARY to come and see. SAMI: Mary! Come here someone is trying to sell us a book. MARY enters into the room. MARY: A book but what’s the story? SALESMAN: There is no story. MARY: No story, well does it have words? SALESMAN: Yes, it has all the words. MARY: What’s the plot? SALESMAN: There is no plot. MARY asks again MARY: A story with no plot? SALESMAN explains again SALESMAN: There is no plot because there is no story. SAMI’s daughter JUILIE heard the word story and enters into the room with excitement. JUILIE: Story! I love stories, I want to hear one. SALESMAN: There is no story!!! JUILIE: But you got a book. SALESMAN: Yes it’s just words and their meanings. JUILIE gets confuse and asks surprisingly. JUILIE: A book with words but no story. SALESMAN: Exactly. Sami interrupts and asks SAMI: Then what good is the book then? SALESMAN: Ha ha, it’s a book you can look up words that you don’t know. SAMI: Well, if I don’t know them then how can I look them up? SALESMAN: Well, let’s just say you heard someone use a word that you didn’t know such as assistance. SAMI: I don’t know what does that means. SALESMAN: Exactly, then just look into this book. SAMI gets confused and ask again. SAMI: But How? SALESMAN: How, well, all the words are reached in alphabetical order. Everyone else gets surprise, they have no idea about it so Sami asks again SAMI: What is alphabet? SALESMAN: Alphabet is a series of letters. MARY: Letters? SALESMAN: Yes like ‘a’, ‘s’, ‘q’ and ‘t’ they come in order like eggs and assistance is also there you simply go to the section in the book with the ‘a’ words and find assistance. JUILIE: What’s that mean? SALESMAN: Help. SAMI interrupts with a question. SAMI: This is your book how we are supposed to help? SALESMAN: No, Assistance means help. SAMI: Then why don’t you just say help, we understand “help”. Salesman gets confuse and ask to stop. SALESMAN: Stop, wait. SALESMAN sigh for a moment and then explain s SALESMAN (cont’d): Try this, you want to write a letter... SAMI interrupts SAMI: But I don’t know how to write. SALESMAN: Suppose you know how to write and you want to write a letter about your sick aunt. SAMI: But none of my aunt is sick. MARY: May be Aunt Tilly is sick. JUILIE gets panic JUILIE: Aunt Tilly is sick? Is she going to be all right? Everyone except the SALESMAN gets panic and start screaming about Aunt Tilly. SALESMAN speaks loudly to quiet everyone. SALESMAN: No one is sick, we are just supposing, suppose she is sick and suppose you want to write a letter to her. SAMI: But she lives near to us. SALESMAN: Aaugh! Suppose she is not here and she is in Ireland and suppose there was a mail system and suppose you know how to write and suppose you wanted to write to her and suppose she could read so she could read just suppose. SAMI: Now, let me get this straight, supposing my aunt lives in Ireland which she is not, suppose we have a mail system which we have not, and suppose my aunt is sick which she is not suppose I could write which I cannot, then your book would be useful for us. SALESMAN: Yeah but not in this sense (with Confusion). SAMI: Then? SALESMAN: Let me explain again, suppose you are not happy with your taxes. SAMI: Yeah we are not, that is too much. SALESMAN: Exactly, that’s it. SAMI: How? SALESMAN: See, you are not happy and suppose you know how to write a letter so you write him a letter. Meanwhile there is knocking at the door, MARY opens the door. MARY: Can I help you? DIRT GUY: Hey, I’m showing a revolution new floor leveling system. MARY: What is it

(with excitement)? DIRT GUY puts the sack of dirt in front of them. DIRT GUY: It’s a bag of dirt you just wear around to load off the floor. SAMI: That’s sound great. MARY: We will take one. SAMI: Yeah we should buy this. JUILIE: Yeah it would be useful. SALESMAN: What? Are you serious? SAMI: Yeah, see it is very useful. SALESMAN: But you asked too much for the book but this.. SAMI: No, it is very useful it will help to level the ground. SALESMAN: But I am trying to sell words and meanings that would be really useful for you. SAMI: Let’s see. SAMI takes the book from SALESMAN and place it under the broken leg of chair to balance it. SAMI (cont’d): He is right, we will take one. SALESMAN: That’ll be five pounds. THE END