Dear Orris November 20 2009

Deep thoughts start the jagged edged marble rolling around the so-called mind of Doug Arnold after he read the new Dear OrrisBook Club Selection, “Darkie: The Rise and Fall of Tom Cox.”

After his 0 and 9 start to the season, rookie Scott Lautzenheiser reverts to his imaginary goth land of wizards, dragons and hobos....otherwise known as Batland.

Despite Denise’s repeated requests, Kevin Cox refuses to leave his fuzzy lair until Orris returns to the league and cuddles his man-purse.

After angrily telling the paparazzi to fuck off, Tiny Tommy Cox prepares to punch Stew in his fluorescent-colored junk. “Last place ain’t my tiny bag, bitch!”

Even though he’s in first place and claims to get out, Craig Martin’s only pleasure box is made out of cardboard and denial. Not even the KGB could sniff out the shit-filled Santa diaper of new league member Rod Taylor

Festooned in his ceremonial Veteran’s Day cock garb, Dick Cox displays why he has the most redundant name in the league.

Jay Milaccio says:

“I’m a ZIT! Get it?”

GREETINGS FROM THE COMMISSIONER... OH NUTS! PAY YOUR DUES!

AND FINALLY...

Skook asks, “TONY ROMO, WON’T YOU LET ME PLEASE SWIFFER YOUR SWEATY SIMPSON?”