Cut 'n Paste Wrestling Boozeletter

CUT’NPASTE May 2007 - Bonus Issue

100% Stolen Content Wrestling Boozeletter

WRESTLINGS DIRTY SECRET BY ERIC COHEN While many people think of wrestling as a big joke, there is one thing about wrestling that isn't funny. The death rate among wrestlers is alarmingly high. (ctrl-c’d from about.wrestling.com)

The only time this story was covered by the national media was on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumble. That segment featured Vince McMahon mocking the interviewer and slapping the notes from his hands. In addition, the only wrestler to speak up for the wrestlers, Roddy Piper, was fired after the piece aired. Drug Usage While the outcomes of the matches are pre-determined,

the effort to put on those killers to numb the pain. This matches takes a huge toll on their bodies. The wrestlers are on the road over 300 days a year and unlike other athletes, they do not have an off season. In addition, accidents do happen and injuries occur. Unfortunately, if wrestlers take time off, their wallets will suffer significantly. These factors all lead to the deadly slope that many wrestlers have found themselves facing. They get addicted to pain

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Eddy Guerrero Father, husband, wrestler. Dead at age 38 from an enlarged heart due to steroid usage.

medicine keeps them too lethargic to wrestle, so they take drugs to get high. This deadly mixture leads to illegal drug dependency that many wrestlers have to cope with even after they retire. Large Bodies In the '90s, the WWE faced a major steroid scandal. While they claim to test for steroids, it is obvious to the casual viewer that many of the wrestlers are taking something to get their physiques to look like they do. In today's environment, a wrestler must carry either an enormous amount of muscle or a tremendous amount of fat to give him the larger than life size needed to be successful in the business. That extra weight, whether muscle or fat, makes the heart work harder than it must. Accidents and Old Age Not all the wrestlers die due to the reasons stated above. Some die due to travel related incidents because of all the time on the road. Some have even died as a result of injuries suffered in the ring. Unfortunately, the least common way that wrestlers seem to be dying is due to old age. How bad is the problem? The list below only includes wrestlers that have appeared on national TV and were stars. Imagine if this many baseball players died at such

an early age. There would be congressional hearings. Yet because it is wrestlers, no one cares. In an effort to stop this problem, the WWE has recently instituted a wellness program that monitors wrestlers for drug usage and cardiovascular issues. Famous Wrestlers That Have Died Since 1985 Before the Age of 65 Chris Von Erich - 21 Mike Von Erich - 23 Louie Spiccoli - 27 Art Barr - 28 Gino Hernandez - 29 Jay Youngblood - 30 Rick McGraw - 30 Joey Marella - 30 Ed Gatner - 31 Buzz Sawyer - 32 Crash Holly - 32 Kerry Von Erich - 33 D.J. Peterson - 33 Eddie Gilbert - 33 The Renegade - 33 Owen Hart - 33 Chris Candido - 33 Adrian Adonis - 34 Gary Albright - 34 Bobby Duncum Jr. - 34 Yokozuna - 34 Big Dick Dudley - 34 Brian Pillman - 35 Marianna Komlos - 35 Pitbull #2 - 36 The Wall/Malice - 36 Leroy Brown - 38 Mark Curtis - 38 Eddie Guerrero - 38 Davey Boy Smith - 39 Johnny Grunge - 39 Vivian Vachon - 40 Jeep Swenson - 40 Brady Boone - 40 Terry Gordy - 40 Bertha Faye - 40 Billy Joe Travis - 40 Larry Cameron - 41 Rick Rude - 41 Randy Anderson - 41 Bruiser Brody - 42 Miss Elizabeth - 42 Big Boss Man - 42 Earthquake - 42 Mike Awesome - 42 Ray Candy - 43

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Dino Bravo - 44 Curt Hennig - 44 Bam Bam Bigelow - 45 Jerry Blackwell - 45 Junkyard Dog - 45 Hercules - 45 Andre the Giant - 46 Big John Studd - 46 Chris Adams - 46 Mike Davis - 46 Hawk - 46 Dick Murdoch - 49 Jumbo Tsuruta - 49 Rocco Rock - 49 Moondog Spot - 51 Ken Timbs - 53 Uncle Elmer - 54 Pez Whatley - 54 Eddie Graham - 55 Tarzan Tyler - 55 Haystacks Calhoun- 55 Giant Haystacks - 55 The Spoiler - 56 Kurt Von Hess - 56 Moondog King - 56 Gene Anderson - 58 Dr. Jerry Graham - 58 Bulldog Brown - 58 Tony Parisi - 58 Rufus R. Jones - 60 Ray Stevens - 60 Stan Stasiak - 60 Terry Garvin - 60 Boris Malenko - 61 Little Beaver - 61 Sapphire - 61 Shohei Baba - 61 Dick the Bruiser - 62 Wilbur Snyder - 62 George Cannon - 62 Karl Krupp - 62 Dale Lewis - 62 Gorilla Monsoon - 62 Hiro Matsuda - 62 Bad News Brown - 63 Bulldog Brower - 63 Wahoo McDaniel - 63

NOT DEAD YET

PURE DYNAMITE REVIEW BY SOME DUDE From humble beginnings, to international notoriety, “The Dynamite Kid” Tom Billington paid his dues.

Now, Billington is no longer competing in the squared circle, and this is thoroughly chronicled in Pure Dynamite, as a wrestling career of abuse has left “The Dynamite Kid” a shell of his former self. Pure Dynamite is Billington’s way of bringing the fan into his world. As a young boy in Lancashire, England, Billington was a rough and tumble youth, who had his share of scrapes. A review of Billington’s family history indicates that “The Dynamite Kid” had fighting in his blood. His father was a former amateur boxer, who actually recorded a win over Jim Sullivan, who would go onto win a World Championship in boxing. Not far from Lancashire, was the town of Wigan, a renowned shoot wrestling Mecca. As most youngsters from this area, it was only a matter of time before Billington made his way to the infamous Ted Betley’s training ground. This is where “The Dynamite Kid” would be born so to speak. When he was ready to turn pro, “The Dynamite Kid” was more than a worker, he was a shooter. Wrestling was his way of avoiding the back breaking work of the coal mines; little did Billington know that wrestling would be just as back breaking. His first shot in the pro ranks was working for Max Crabtree. Working in England did not exactly set Billington’s bank account of fire, and he soon made his way to Canada.

Rumored to be dead, but still alive, for now. Top to bottom. Ultimate Warrior has been the most popular non-dead dead wrestler for the last few years. Corporal Kirschner was confirmed dead by Michael Cole run www.com. That was news to his mother who informed them he is in fact still alive. Paul Orndorff is alive.

It was in Canada, working for Stu Hart, that “The Dynamite Kid” began taking steroids to get bigger. Actually, it was a tour through Germany, in which Sylvester Ritter, “The Junkyard Dog” gave Billington an introduction to the muscle producing drug: Dianabol. Ironic that “The Dynamite Kid” was a shooter in the ring and out. It was also in Canada that Billington was introduced to another drug, speed, by none other than Jake “The Snake” Roberts. After doing some good business in Canada with Bret Hart, the legend of “The Dynamite Kid” was heading for the place that would get his name known world wide, Japan. In his first tour, Billington was not enthralled with the Land of the Rising Sun, but subsequent tours of the island nation proved very lucrative for “The Dynamite Kid,” both financially

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and for his in-ring experience. Working against Tatsumi Fujinami was like a breath of fresh air for Billington, as Fujinami could match holds with “The Dynamite Kid.” Now in Japan it was usual for foreign wrestlers to be the bad guys, but “Kido” as the Japanese fans affectionately called him, was an exception to that rule. During this time, “The Dynamite Kid” was spending his time working between Calgary and Japan. He also did a shot in Hawaii. Soon “The Dynamite Kid’s” cousin, who would go onto to become one of the biggest names in the sport, Davey Boy Smith, joined Billington in Calgary. It was Smith’s own cousin that started him on his collision course with death, by supplying him with steroids. First they feuded; then they teamed. Eventually they went to Japan as a team. Portland was “The Dynamite Kid’s” next stop, and it was here that he became a member of Rip Oliver’s clan. He was stilling doing shots in Japan and Calgary too. One interesting aspect of the book is that Billington kayfabes his time in Japan, but shoots on all his other wrestling tales. All of this is the backdrop to “The Dynamite Kid’s” most successful run in wrestling. His team with his cousin Davey Boy Smith would soon make their way to the World Wrestling Federation, as “The British Bulldogs.” This tag team rates high on the scale of the other infamous pairings during the 80s. “Dynamite Kid” was making the best money of his career, but his reckless style was also taking a noticeable toll on his body. The abuse of steroids on his body was evident, but he still wrestled and always gave 110 percent. His body was meant to hold no more than 175 lbs, but the steroids bulked him up in the 220 lbs range. Billington is not above shooting on the wrestlers he was not fond of; in fact, some of his statements are downright hurtful to those he directed them to. I will not spoil them here, as I think it is proper to read the context in which he makes his statements. He was after all a wrestler trained in the shoot style. I did not find Billington to be as bitter as some who have reviewed this book, rather I found him to be a straight shooter, who did not hold back. But the people he did like, he does not hesitate to on the praise, so he is equal opportunity. On a scale of one to 10, I’d rate this book a solid eight. The back story was all new material for me, as I knew very little about “The Dynamite Kid” prior to his WWF run. The inside information is first rate. Most importantly, I give Billington credit for not laying blame for his personal problems on anyone but himself. Takes a big man to admit he was his own worst enemy. (Stolen from kayfabememories.com)

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BROCK TO DRAW 100,000 BY LUIS CRUZ Brock Lesnar interview recap Brock Lesnar is gifted athlete. His credentials speak for him. He's a former NCAA amateur wrestling champion, professional wrestling Heavyweight champion in WWE and came up just shy of making a spot on the Minnesota Vikings NFL football team. With mixed-martial arts taking off and becoming a viable option to Lesnar as a way of earning a living, Lesnar no longer has to consider returning to the insane traveling schedule that comes along with being a professional wrestler. It's an avenue to take the wrestling skills he's accumulated across nearly twenty years and further it into a career in combat sports. On Saturday, June 2nd at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum, Brock Lesnar will do his part to help try and pack a building that seats nearly 100,000 people as he makes his debut as a MMA fighter. He'll be clashing with the 7'2'' kickboxer Hong Man-Choi in the semi-main event of the K-1 debut MMA show in the United States, which now has backing from Elite XC (and Showtime), Strikeforce and Cage Rage. Yesterday (April 5th), MMANews.com's own Luis Cruz discussed this and more in an exclusive twenty-plus minute interview with Brock Lesnar. Below is part one of a two-part transcript. Thanks to "Smoogy" from the MMANews.com forums for providing the following text write-up of part one. Make sure to check back here later today for the second and final part of the interview. BROCK LESNAR INTERVIEW - PART ONE (for part two go to MMAnews.com) Luis Cruz of MMANews.com: This is Luiz Cruz of MMANews.com and I'm joined by the new MMA phenom, Brock Lesnar. Brock, what's up man? Brock Lesnar: How are you doing? MMANews.com: I'm doing good. Brock Lesnar: Let's not call me "phenom" quite yet, [or] until this first one is over with! [Laughs] MMANews.com: Hey, you're a beast dude. I'd call you a phenom. Now, before I get to MMA at all, I just have two quick questions for you about pro wrestling. The first one, a lot of fans wanted to know: Is Vince McMahon really as asshole to work with? Brock Lesnar: Ah, well, no. I mean, Vince is the boss, you know? I made a lot of money. He runs a tight ship up there and he does what he has to do to run his business, and that's pretty much that. MMANews.com: Alright, and the second question I have is, knowing him a little bit as a businessman, do you think he would actually dip his hand in the MMA bucket, try to maybe start a promotion or anything?

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Brock Lesnar: I think if he was smart about it, he would do it. But you know, I think... I think it would be a wise choice for him to do that, MMA is exploding you know? It's big-time, but then again Vince McMahon is good at promoting wrestling, and I don't know if he could promote anything other than that. MMANews.com: Alright. Now let's go ahead and move on. When did you become a fan of this sport? Brock Lesnar: I've always been a fan of it. Since the first UFC, you know? I've always been watching just as everybody else was. I watched Royce Gracie create the legacy he created, and Ken Shamrock, Don Frye... all these guys that started the pavement for... to you know, started to make it is where it is today. MMANews.com: At one point did you say to yourself, "I want to give this a shot", was that before the NFL? Brock Lesnar: Well, yeah. I would've gotten into it a long time ago if it would've been big, but when I was coming out of college I had a pretty good offer from Vince McMahon on the table and I wasn't going to go fight in some bingo hall or auditorium for two hundred and fifty dollars a fight, you know? MMANews.com: I don't think anyone would disagree with that decision. Brock Lesnar: That's where it was when I got out. Really, you've got to take your hat off to Dana White here, because mixed-martial arts has taken off and it is where it is because of the UFC. And Dana saw something with it, and took it put it on television and made superstars out of these nobody guys that were at one time fighting in the bingo halls. He put their faces on TV and it just goes to show how strong television is. MMANews.com: Did any certain fighter influence you? Did you look up to a Mark Coleman or a Kevin Randleman, or another wrestler? Brock Lesnar: Well, I really liked to see the wrestlers do well since obviously I'm an amatuer wrestler myself, so yeah, I did follow those guys. And you know honestly, was there somebody out there that I really followed? No, honestly I can't say that, but I did pay attention to the wrestlers and was rooting for those guys. MMANews.com: When exactly did you start training for mixed-martial arts? Brock Lesnar: I started training last June. Thats when I decided that I was going to really give this thing 150-percent go ahead. MMANews.com: A couple of names that I've heard that you've trained with, I don't know for a fact, this is just what I heard but - Royce Gracie, the Miletich camp, [Sean] Sherk and Josh Thompson. Are those pretty accurate? Brock Lesnar: Yes. Yes, I actually started out looking for a camp. I went down to the Miletich camp for a couple weeks and then I decided that I wanted something a little closer to where I live, you know? I'm established in Minnesota - my family is here. I was on the road living in hotels, working for Vince McMahon, decided that I didn't want to be driving back and forth every week. So I found the Minnesota Mixed-Martial Arts Academy with Greg Nelson, and decided to compile Greg's background and Marty Morgan from the University of Minnesota, and took those two guys, and said, "make me into a fighter". Here we are. I've got a fight coming up less than two months away, and at this point I feel like I'm well rounded, and I'm working on my training cycle right now to make sure I'm peaking at the right time.

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MMANews.com: There was a rumor that when you were in the Miletich camp that you rolled a little bit with [Matt] Hughes, and that he got you in a rear naked choke. Now what from I read, or heard, you pretty much just got up and slammed him. Is that true? Brock Lesnar: [Laughs] Don't believe everything you read or watch on television. [Laughing again] Matt Hughes is a tough guy, you know, and me and Matt did roll around, you know... Matt's the champion of all champions. So I mean, I'm not stirring anything up. Matt's a good guy - I like him and all of those [Miletich] guys are good. I enjoyed their camp, you know, but I'm not going to start anything here. That's nonsense. MMANews.com: [Laughs] Alright. What's the comparison like in training between amatuer wrestling, pro wrestling, NFL, and mixed-martial arts? Like, what are some of the differences and similarities amongst them? Brock Lesnar: Well... I've really got to say that basically I've done it all, you know? Like you said - amatuer wrestler, try-outs for the NFL, I was a professional wrestler. It's all very different and I would have to say that training for MMA has probably been a little more difficult for me, because of, you know... I really can't explain it but you have to be in really good shape to go out there and throw punches, and to be able to wrestle, and to do it all at the same time. I would have to say that MMA has been a great challenge. It's probably because I'm trying to cram so much into such a short amount of time. Football was a great challenge as well, but as far as conditioning-wise, I didn't have to be in that great a condition but it was harder for me to pick up on because I hadn't done it. Now, MMA involves a lot of wrestling, which I have done, I've got eighteen years of experience in it. But you know, it's learning to be able to throw punches, and be able to grab a hold of a guy and have enough grip strength and enough lungs left in you... you know, it's difficult. It's definitely not an easy sport. MMANews.com: Lets talk about your training for a bit. You mentioned that you thought you were pretty well rounded now. Who have you been training with, mainly for your stand-up and striking game? Brock Lesnar: Greg has been a big influence for me. And guys such as Sean Sherk, Nick Thompson... guys like that who have plenty of time in the octagon and in the ring. But Greg has been a huge influence, as far as working the strikes, I spent a lot of time with Greg, you know, working the bag. I've got sparring partners who've got experience [in] boxing, and Pat Miletich has helped me out and his gang, you know, his group of guys down there, with my striking and in the jiu-jitsu. So I've had a lot of guys along the way... mainly Greg. MMANews.com: Are we going to see you utilize that striking a lot more than we might initially think, or are you going to just go with what works? Brock Lesnar: I really can't say. I mean, anybody that's been in a fight... obviously there's a gameplan here involved, but... I'm going to just have to go with whatever happens out there, you know? If this guy can really defend my takedowns, then I'm going to have to stand with him, you know? I'm not lacking any confidence in that area.

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MMANews.com: Now, speaking of going to the ground - how much did you learn from Royce Gracie? Brock Lesnar: I never said that I trained with him. I haven't trained with Royce yet. Our schedules haven't allowed us to be able to get together yet. MMANews.com: Oh, I thought you mentioned him in the past, sorry. Brock Lesnar: No, I haven't got to meet up with Royce yet. We've had conversations, trying to get together with one another, but it just hasn't happened. I'm going to try to squeeze it in, but now... I'm really focused on my training for this fight, and he's got a fight coming up, and if he can get together in time - great. But we will meet in the future. MMANews.com: Alright. Now, is your current contract just for one fight with K-1? Brock Lesnar: I have a one fight deal with K-1, yes. MMANews.com: The UFC, PRIDE - either or, are you looking to fight for them sometime in the future, maybe when you're established? Brock Lesnar: You know, I'm just focusing on this one fight. I've been happy with K-1, they've been great to work with, and I'm not speculating or starting anything in that area yet, you know? I'm just focused on this one fight. But I have spoken to those guys in the past. MMANews.com: That's why I was asking. Brock Lesnar: As of right now, no. I haven't conversed with anybody and I don't intend to until this fight is over with, or at least until a good time after that. MMANews.com: Speaking of the UFC, let's say you did sign with them in the future. Can you make the 265 pound weight limit? Brock Lesnar: Actually, I finished my workout today at 268. MMANews.com: Oh wow, ok. So you trimmed down a lot. Brock Lesnar: I'm lean and mean, baby! MMANews.com: [Laughs] Now, what is your goal weight? Do you have a goal weight? Brock Lesnar: I feel good. I'll come into this fight 270, you know, 265 ain't a problem. I feel good where I'm at. This is where I won my national title, at this weight, and I feel really confident at this weight. MMANews.com: Alright, I thought you'd be a little bigger, but that's good. Now let's talk about your opponent - seven foot, two inch Hong-Man Choi. This is only his second MMA fight actually, in his career, and I don't think his first fight even lasted thirty seconds - if I remember correctly. Now, aside from him being almost a foot taller than you, what do you know about him. Brock Lesnar: I know that, well, there's really not a lot to know about him. I mean, he's kickboxer. I've studied his tapes and I know that he's not the athlete I am - let's just put it that way. MMANews.com: Is there anything at all that concerns you about him, like one specific thing?

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Brock Lesnar: Um... well, everybody's as good as that one punch that connects, right? You know that, you've watched enough fights to. So, of course he's a threat - he's a big dude. Anybody that can throw big hands and land them is a threat, you know? So I've just got to avoid his hands.

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MEET THE MONEY MARK BEHIND TNA BY THE UK SUN DIXIE CARTER must be every wrestler's dream come true. The grap game is famous for unscrupulous small-time promoters at one end of the scale and ruthless WWE boss Vince McMahon at the other.

TAKING CARE OF THEIR OWN

But the TNA president is determined to act like neither — and bring a more caring feminine side to what has always been a brutal business. In an exclusive interview, she told us: "The ultimate responsibility for everything in this company is mine and I take that very seriously. "For a lot of our guys this is their livelihood, so I am conscious to make decisions that mean this company is healthy and around decades from now. "While we want financial success, at the same time I want TNA to be a completely different kind of wrestling company. "We work a much lighter schedule than the WWE which allows our wrestlers to protect their bodies and lengthen their careers. "A wrestler's career only lasts as long as his or her body does — and that's why I take our guys' health very seriously. "We do everything we can to make sure they are saving for the future and have even brought in financial advisors to help with things like tax.

TNA’s T&A Dixie Carter

Chris Candido. Lockdown’s First Casualty. After dying of a blood clot due to surgery for an in-ring injury, TNA sent his domestic partner Tammy Sytch a boneless ham. TNA also offered to let Chris be buried with his title belt. How nice of them.

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"Not only does it benefit TNA but it is also the right thing to do." "From the internal environment to the locker room, to the type of show we attempt to put on, we are a very different product. "In my mind we have the most talented roster of wrestlers in the world and I'm doing everything I can to make sure that is always the case." But Dixie knows that no matter how well she looks after the wrestlers, or how well they perform in the ring, TNA has to have interesting storylines to hook viewers in. In an attempt to do that she added former WWE and WCW writer Vince Russo to the TNA booking committee. But fans — blaming him for the running WCW into the ground and associating him with the most ridiculous wrestling storylines — have been chanting "fire Russo" during live events. Despite this, sacking Russo is something Dixie maintains she would never do. The mother-of-two said: "I love the passion of wrestling fans but there is just so much that they get wrong, that they perceive to be one way when it's not. "It's interesting that at our last PPV during the Sting v Abyss match they started that chant. "First of all that match was something Vince had absolutely nothing to do with. "Second of all it wasn't 120 seconds later that the crowd were jumping up and down screaming 'holy s***' and 'TNA'. "Vince is human, and has one of the best hearts in this business, so I am sure the chants hurt him. They hurt me for him. "But it's amazing how off the mark these folks are. "One thing they blame him for is that we sometimes try and cram too much into our TV shows, as we only have 42 minutes, but Vince has actually been a big part of helping me slow that down and make positive changes. "But the hardcore fans don't see it and there's no telling them any different." The other major key to success in wrestling is having main-event talent who can draw people in to buying the PPV shows — such as TNA's upcoming Lockdown event. Alongside new stars like Samoa Joe and AJ Styles, the company have brought in famous faces who used to wrestle in WCW and WWE. TNA have recruited the likes of Sting, Christian and the Dudleys and unsuccessfully negotiated with Bill Goldberg and Hulk Hogan. Hogan, after announcing a match with then-champion Jeff Jarrett, claimed injury and ended up back in the WWE, while Goldberg recently went on record saying TNA can't pay him what he is worth. But Dixie blasted back: "There is a lot more to being happy and successful than just a pay day. "If that's where Mr Goldberg's happiness lies then he is missing the boat on a whole lot of other big issues." Undoubtedly TNA's biggest coup to date was surprising the world by announcing the signing of Kurt Angle on their No Surrender PPV, just one month after he had 'quit' wrestling after being fired by the WWE. Dixie told us: "When that announcement was made in that arena, it shocked WWE as much as anyone else.

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NO I WON’T PEE IN A FREAKIN’ CUP

What's good for the wrestlers is ultimately good for TNA. -Dixie Carter TNA has told Konnan that they will not pay for his kidney transplant surgery which is going run him around $100,000 in the U.S. TNA has offered to loan him the money to have it done but he must pay it back.

"Again that's where we differ as a company. I am doing everything in my power to protect Kurt's health and if needs time off then he can take it.

"At first only one or two people knew, then the week of the PPV we had to film a promo, so I handpicked four or five people in the company to tell — and I threatened them with their lives. "And that was it. The wrestlers didn't know, nobody did." But what about the 'personal issues' the WWE said Angle had, which were their reason for letting him go. Again Dixie stands by her man. "Kurt did have a lot of health problems," she admits. "But that's because he was not given the time off to rehab. "When you're not given that you pop your body full of pain medicine to get by. "Then you're not given time off to get off the pain medicine and you get caught in this vicious circle. "He is pursuing Mixed Martial Arts and I am also supporting him fully in doing that.

"The only way he could break that was to get out of that environment.

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"I am not frightened for our guys to have success outside of the TNA world. "My philosophy is that we're all partners and what's good for the wrestlers is ultimately good for TNA.”

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RIP OLIVER

MATT HARDY STILL A DOUCHE SAYS INTERNET WRESTLING COMMUNITY Thiz iz what the IWC iz saying about the former Internet darling and all around loser, Matthew Moore Hardy. Seen posing below last year during his “wellness issues.” He read the Sunday paper and saw an article about staph infections. Ironic, huh? The IWC has accused Mr. Hardy of working them over while pretending to negotiate with Dixie Carter.

CUT’NPASTE ISSUE 1 A “SUCKCESS” Thanks to our dear buddy Rip Oliver, not pictured above, Ishjew 1 had over 250 readers on it’s first day of release. Feel free to pass it on to your friends, if you’re lucky enough to have any. No website, no email, no problem. Toke toke pass, my friends.

Who readz newspaperz anymore? MMH thatz who!

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HOW DOES HURRICANE AFFORD THE GOOD STUFF~? BY BRYAN ALVAREZ

PAWNDBYSI

Is Hurricane Greg Helms on HGH? Sports Illustrated has named Helms and several others in a recent steroid probe. (Reprinted without permission from f4wonline.) Hurricane's response: "Now, before I clear the air, I

wanna ask a question? If you get hurt and a doctor prescribes you a medicine/ drug and therapy to help you and you take it, did that become wrong somewhere? Did I miss a meeting? No need to answer because apparently the answer is yes. Apparently pro wrestlers never get hurt and if they do they aren't allowed to get treatment. So anyway, here's the story, several years ago I had hurt my knee and was advised by 2 different doctors to undergo this particular therapy. I didn't ask for it, hell, I didn't even know about it, all I knew is that I didn't want to have to have surgery. Not to mention that I would like for my life after wrestling to be as painless as possible. I won't be able to wrestle forever and I would hope that I'm entitled to the best quality of life available to me when that time comes. I would like to think that it's well in my human rights to take whatever a doctor tells me to if it helps my condition and relieves my pain. Isn't that what everyone goes to a doctor for? Shane Helms committed no crime and did absolutely nothing illegal. And that is a FACT!!! Trust me, there are a million ways to get any kind of legal or illegal medicine/drug you want. However, I was under the assumption that going thru a doctor, getting treatment and therapy for a totally LEGAL medicine was the right way to go about dealing with this particular injury. And this injury that might have led to surgery

Bryan Alvarez impersonator. O’h.

Names Named by Namers Boxing •!Evander Holyfield Bodybuilding •!Victor Martinez Pro wrestling •!Kurt Angle •!Randy Orton •!Adam Copeland (Edge) •!Shane Helms (The Hurricane) •!Oscar Gutierrez (Rey Mysterio) •!Eddie Guerrero

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had I not taken the therapy that I did. It's strange how that part of the story was conveniently left out! Besides, look at me! I'm not 300 lbs. of muscle, the biggest I've ever been is 215, I'm not abusing ANYTHING other that the abuse my body takes doing the job I love. Hell, I didn't even drink alcohol until I was 27. Now I get that this 'reporter' was just doing his job and was only using certain names from his list to sensationalize the article. And I guess it makes it sound more colorful to use the name Hurricane although I haven't been The Hurricane in almost 2 years now. Hell I guess this guy can pretty much get away with saying whatever he feels, I honestly don't know. I don't know him and I don't even deal with that particular Doctor anymore either. And if that Doctor did anything wrong himself, as long as it didn't involve me it shouldn't concern me or be directed towards me. Am I making an excuse? Not at all. Making up an excuse would be admitting that I did something wrong or illegal. I did neither. I'm just a guy that has torn his body to shreds for the job he loves. And there are times that I've had to do to the hospital and get different kinds of medicines/drugs/whatever to help me heal. I'm not Wolverine, I can't heal from every injury instantaneously. I get hurt! And I'll get hurt again." Again, why would a doctor prescribe HGH for an injury? And if the doctor did, why would he not write the prescription? Helms' claim is that his doctor told him he needed HGH, but instead of getting it from his doctor he went ONLINE and got it through a pharmacy that has since been busted in a drug probe. As far as prescribing steroids for injury rehab is concerned, when Buddy Wayne got double back fusion surgery his doctor told him that Deca was going to help his back, but he couldn't prescribe it for him. He told him if Buddy could get his hands on some he would tell him how to take it safely and provide him with needles, but that was all he could do. He had never heard of anyone being prescribed HGH for injury rehab (especially something like a knee injury), and said stronger steroids were only prescribed for people who had been in, say, a horrible auto accident and might not be able to walk again, or a wasting disease. For more articles such as this subscribe to the Figure Four Weekly at f4wonline.com

Robbie Brooksie of England can’t afford the $1000 a month it takes for a decent HGH treatment schedule.

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BIXPIX Stephanie loans HHH her strapon. His original member was eaten by Chyna back in the 90z

Who is Bix?

DUDES?

LADIES?

Bix is a well known member of the Internet Wrestling Community. This pictorial is dedicated to him. It is believed that this is something he would enjoy. Bix rules,BTW.

Wrestling is definitely homo-erotic. Here’s something for our gay brothers.

Some hunka hunka burning love action for you.

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A few fans have had less amiable motives for battering Flair. At a recent book-signing held in a Goldsboro, NC Walmart, shopper Jim LaRoy became agitated when he opened the book’s dust jacket and found that Flair’s trademark yell “wooooo” literally bore a trademark symbol. “I been yelling ‘wooooo’ every time I get six or eight beers in me for the past fifteen years, and my daddy before me done the same,” LaRoy said. “I don’t appreciate Flair trying to wrangle away a piece of my heritage.” “But the nice thing,” he added, “is that with Flair, I can come down here and we can take our shirts off and settle this [intellectual property dispute] like men. Wooooo!” Other fans have no particular beef with Flair, but simply wish to test their mettle against one of wrestling’s greats. Sam Pratt, an area property manager, was one such fan. “To be the man, you have to beat the man,” Pratt said, quoting a Ric Flair catchphrase. “Well, I’m ready to be the man, wooooo!” He asserted as he dribbled tobacco juice into an empty Mountain Dew bottle. “What I do, I watch each WWE event once straight through, but at the same time I’m taping it on the VCR so I can go back with the slo-mo and such and really break it down. I think Flair and the rest of the folks here at Walden Books took me for a patsy once they seen how pale and hairy I looked in them jockey shorts, but I done my homework. I think Flair would tell you that he got more than he bargained for out of me.” “What we are seeing is exactly what we would expect to see based on Bandura’s classic studies of aggression,” said Duke University psychology professor Steven Grenman. “Fans see Ric Flair and other pro wrestlers on television modeling all sorts of flamboyant and aggressive behaviors. Then, when they encounter him in real life, they feel that they have free reign to behave in the same manner.” What these fans need to understand, says Flair’s publicist Dodson, is that Ric Flair is a 55 year-old man and the years he spent in the ring have left him with the arthritic joints of a man in his nineties. News of Flair's severe rheumatism, however, only caused fans to self-narrate their manhandling of him with such commentary as "Oh my, look at him testing the arthritis-stricken verty-brates of Flair" and "Oh, what's this? Billy Lee is just flat-out going to town on that weared-out hip cartilage".

REDNECKS RUIN RIC FLAIR BOOK TOUR RIP’D FROM THE CHAR’LET NEWZPAPER

An unidentified fan applies the sleeper hold to author Ric Flair at a Wilson, NC Barnes and Noble Goldsboro, NCPublishers of professional wrestler Ric Flair's autobiography Ric Flair: To Be The Man have announced that Flair will be canceling the Southeastern leg of his book tour after a string of altercations with over-zealous fans. The announcement comes on the heels of an incident at a Rocky Mount, NC bookstore in which a fan caught Flair in a full-Nelson and held it for nearly forty-five minutes while the other fans, forgoing autographs, lined up to strike Flair about the head, face, and chest with hardcover editions of the ghost-written memoir. According to Flair's publicist Renee Dodson, it was a turn of events that has become all too common. "We weren't experiencing these types of incidents in the Northeast," she said, "but ever since the tour left Richmond, fans see Ric Flair and the first thing they want to do is put him in some sort of wrestling hold or bash him over the head with a folding chair. We understand that it is just these fans' way of showing Ric that they are familiar with his work, but, from a logistical standpoint, its been problematic."

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better after starting this, not come down with a summer cold immediately afterwards. Still, I was good enough to go to wrestling, and getting out was actually a good thing. The cough is superficial, not in my chest at all, and I think I've been kind of a wuss about the whole deal. Especially after watching the 57-year old Ric Flair getting thrown around the ring a couple of nights ago. The big test is going to be when I get lab work done in a couple of weeks. What happens if the T Cells have dipped slightly? Or the viral load peaks up to say "Hi"? I'll probably have a dream, in which Hulk Hogan is pointing his finger at me as I stand on the other side of the ring, shouting, "Whatcha gonna do, Positoid?"

“As much as Ric enjoys and appreciates his Southeastern fan base,” Dodson said, “his body simply couldn’t endure another month of this book tour.”

This kid ended up with HIV after meeting RIC FLAIR. Not libel cuz it’s true. A touching and very real story. (Stolen from Shawn’s HIV Blog @ poz.com)

Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother? Written AUGUST 16, 2006 That's the famous opening to Hulk Hogan's taunt, "... when Hulkamania runs wild on you!" I myself am more of a Ric Flair guy, and on Monday night I got to see both legends in action here in Charlottesville. My dad used to take me to the matches just after my diagnosis in 1987, so I figured, "Why not take the old man this time around?" I also got a ticket for my brother, Kip, and Zach, a kid who is obsessed with wrestling. The only dilemma was that this cold or whatever it is is still lingering. It really does seem to be going around, but last night I had a dream that a friend was shouting at me, "YOUR VIRUS IS REBOUNDING!" So there's a subconcious struggle going on, mainly because I thought I'd feel

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PEREZHILTON.COM ASKS? Is Brooke Hogan a MAN?

And for no reason at all, Sid Vicious.

The National Enquirer reported last week that Brooke & Linda Hogan were consulting divorce lawyers. Now, Page Six is adding fuel to that fire! Sources close to the couple say they are "going through a very hard time and their marriage is under a lot of strain."

Hulk's manager, Jimmy Hart, adds, "There's ups and downs in every marriage. I was with them last weekend in Miami shooting the show [VH1's Hogan Knows Best] and everything seemed fine." Things aren't always what they seem, though. A breakup will definitely make for good reality TV!

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