Cut And Paste

September 10, 2008 Hilditch Burtch Kerth

• Officers were called to the 9700 block of Greenwood Terrace Aug. 25 for two males hitting a car with baseball bats. When officers arrived, they observed the subjects doing their best Albert Pujols on the car. Officers called a seventh-inning stretch and asked why. The subjects said they were trying to give their vehicle a little customizing. When one subject showed ownership, the officers called, "play ball." • Officers quelled a disturbance Aug. 26 in the 700 block of North Rock Hill Road by mediating a truce between an angry girlfriend and a noncompliant boyfriend. Once the boyfriend realized it was her way or the highway, the boyfriend cooled his jets and was very apologetic. All is right in the world, police report. • Officers responded to the 1000 block of North Rock Hill Road Aug. 13 for an out-of-control juvenile. When officers walked though the door the brat morphed into a very complying young man. A husband on Salem Hills reported Aug. 1 his wife had been missing for two months. Officers, believing something fishy was going on, conducted an investigation. The wife was located at her son's residence. She said she was divorcing her husband and had moved in with her son. Upon hearing this information, the husband's only response was that he forgot.