Columbus Mops Newsletter / October

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Planet October 2009

Life on Planet Mom - By Aubrey Smith eing a stay-at-home mom to two little girls is the most rewarding job I’ve ever had and the most exhausting. I am sure you all know the feeling, hugs and kisses one minute and then time-outs the next. It’s all in a day in the life of a stay-at-home mom. I took a few minutes (during quiet time, of course) to look up the definition of woman and mother. Here is what the website Google had to say: Women: a female person who plays a significant role in the life of a particular man. Mother: a woman who has given birth to a child. I like to think of myself as both these things combined into one – I am a WoMom, hear me roar. I am a female person who has given birth to multiple children and I have a significant role in the life of those children and their father. Or I could just call myself Super Mom. That is exactly what we are. We are born with this incredible ability to multi-task one hundred things at a time all the while, still trying to maintain the woman we once were before we had children. Lisa T. Bergren who authored the book, Life On Planet Mom, asks you to look into the mirror to see if you can see YOU anymore. Wow! Yes, I can. I see a better version of me. One that is whole. My days and nights, hours and seconds revolve around the needs, health and happiness of my family. Of course, we all need and deserve a break every now and then. It’s good for your soul. It’s also a great way to do those things you did

before you had children. Such as, shopping, going to get your nails done, paint, scrapbook, relax with a good book or just take a long deserved nap. Lisa also asks if you understand love better now that you are a mother. Yes, I do. I have known love before in my life, but not like this. It’s a love you would lay down your own life for. I felt love in an instant when I saw my girls for the very first time. It’s a love that just oozes from your soul. One of my favorite bible verses is… 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Becoming a mother has also allowed me to feel the love of Jesus in a way I have never felt before. My walk with the Lord has only just begun. Every day is a chance for me to know the Lord better and to raise my children up in a loving, Christian environment. Being a part of MOPS has allowed me the opportunity to be just a mom to two girls who makes mistakes and a woman seeking the love of Christ. Being a mom has definitely changed me for the better. Aubrey Smith, Wednesday MOPS Coordinator, is a wife to Roy and a supermom to Caroline, 4 and Makenzie, 2.

Make Room For Daddy Fathering is something sacred to be celebrated and encouraged. Our role as moms is to get out of his way and let dad be dad!

A

Mom’s Guide to Letting Dad Be Dad

Our children need dads as well as moms. However, moms and dads are very different, and a dad will love and parent his children differently from a mom. These differences are good, and children need both kinds of love as they grow up. Men want to be good dads just as women want to be good moms. As moms, we can influence our children’s father in powerful ways by “making room for daddy.” When a child is born, a father is born. Our role as moms is to understand his daddy doubts, help him identify them, and love him through his adjustment to his days as a daddy. Fathers are important and yet they are struggling with a kind of “daddy daze” today. Moms are key in recognizing the value of a daddy and helping to replace unrealistic expectations with realistic ones.

can also mishandle control, either assuming control for fathering functions or relinquishing our vital influence on our husbands’ fathering. As moms, we must identify what might lead us to abuse our control. Moms have a choice to manipulate or to step back and allow dad to be a good dad, as well as a choice to be controlled or to contribute positive influence to our husbands’ fathering. We need to lay down the strings over our husbands’ lives, to take up the strings of our own, and to move towards becoming partners in parenting. There’s nothing wrong with a dad just because he parents differently than a mom. We need to acknowledge and accept his differences as okay—even needed. When dads parent differently, moms tend to interfere. Our role as moms is to recognize our tendency to interfere, and then move to inform instead. Understanding original family issues also helps strengthen mothering and fathering. Moms should do their homework on our original issues and help dads do theirs as well. Fathering is something sacred to be celebrated and encouraged. Our role as moms is to get out of his way and let dad be dad! Learn more about letting dads be dads in Make Room for Daddy by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall, Zondervan, 2002.

When a child is born, the mother bond is a primary, foundational bond necessary for establishing all other bonds. The first of these other bonds is the father bond. Our job as moms is to bond in order 1) Can be showered and ready in 10 minutes flat. to launch. The longings of 2) Know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes. our hearts can distract us 3) Can open all jars and kill spiders. from the good we can do 4) Think that flowers and duct tape can fix everything. 5) Can watch two back-to-back Sunday afternoon football games. in influencing our 6) One mood, all the time. husbands’ fathering. As 7) Phone conversations usually last thirty seconds. moms, we must identify what heart longing might 8) Five-day vacation requires one suitcase. 9) Wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. be keeping us from 10) God’s good and perfect gifts to MOPS. launching our children. In an effort to be good moms, we

Top 10 Things that Make POPS

Special

How to Survive Baby Boot Camp

The only thing you can count on is unpredictability.

4. Realize that new relationships are forming. When a new baby arrives, everyone in “Baby Boot Camp” aptly describes life with a newthe family assumes a new role. As these new identities born. New moms are often flustered and bewildered evolve, families are required to make a transition. during those early days with a baby. Besides having a Patience is a must as you and your husband, as well as body that’s getting back to normal, postpartum mothers must deal with fluctuating hormones, extreme your parents and in-laws, adjust to your new name tags. fatigue and roller-coaster emotions. This wasn’t what Now you’re “Mom.” Your mother-in-law is “Grandma.” you signed up for! When you bring your baby home As you step into these new roles, it will take a while to from the hospital, however, the rigors of basic training get used to the way they fit. begin. 5. Remember you are not alone. Every new recruit feels Here are five ways to stay balanced when a new baby overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood. At the rocks your world. same time, the joy of motherhood is utterly transforming. Be encouraged: You have joined the ranks of billions of 1. Recognize that your situation is temporary. It seems women who also experienced these feelings as they like the crying, rocking, feeding, walking-the-floor began the journey of motherhood. It is a comfort to insanity is going to last forever, but it doesn’t. Eventu- remember that you are always in the heart of a loving ally babies sleep, sore nipples heal and your energy Father who has a plan for both you and your baby. returns. The love you have for your little one, however, Trust God to guide you through this wonderful season is permanent! of life. It seems like the crying, rocking, feeding, walking-thefloor insanity is going to last forever. By Rebecca Ingram Powell

2. Re-evaluate your priorities. The priorities of the first six weeks are basic. Rest. Eat. Drink lots of water. And did I say rest? Now is not the time to insist on a spotless house or to dwell on what’s going on at work while you are on leave. Your day begins and ends with meeting the needs of a tiny person who is relying on you for survival. As far as anything else is concerned, this is one time in your life when it will be easier to catch up than to keep up. 3. Relinquish your need to control. When it comes to a newborn, the only thing you can count on is unpredictability. Don’t be afraid to admit that you need help. There are lots of people who really mean it when they ask if there is anything they can do. Never turn down gifts of food or offers to baby-sit. When a friend or a grandmother comes over to help you, let her! Someone else can wash a load of clothes or run the vacuum just as well as you can. Loosen up.

Rebecca Ingram Powell is a pastor’s wife, a homeschooling mother of three, and the author of Baby Boot Camp: Basic Training for the First Six Weeks of Motherhood. Visit her wevsite at www.rebeccapowell.com. This article is reprinted by permission.

Book Review The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer By Dr. Harvey Karp Dr. Karp believes that babies, in their first few months of life, can experience “fourth trimester” issues. Babies have a difficult time getting used to the huge amount of stimuli present in life outside of Mom’s body. Their reaction is to cry. Dr. Karp has developed 5 techniques to induce a calming reflex, swaddling, shusing, side/ stomach position, swinging and sucking. Karp’s book is a quick and essential read for those early months of motherhood. He also offers a book for toddler tantrums (The Happiest Toddler on the Block), DVDs demonstrating his techniques, and a CD of white noise for infants.

Mommy and Me Activities BEYOND CARVING... Alternative Pumpkin Decorating Ideas PAINT & EMBELLISH • Draw with permanent markers or paint pens. Make shapes, patterns, or fall objects. • Create a “carved” face with paint. Draw a face on a pumpkin using black paint pen. Let dry. Fill in the drawn areas with a yellow paint pen to resemble candlelight shining through. • Make “frost” on pumpkins using a bottle of white dimensional paint applied generously to the stem and dripping downward. Also add some snowflake shapes. Sprinkle white glitter over the wet painted areas. • Create a 3-D face with objects found around the house. Use magnetic strips, thumb tacks, or glue to attach items to pumpkin. Don’t forget a hat. • Apply pictures cut out of magazines or gift wrap with decoupage glue. • Make a sequined pumpkin by attaching sequins with straight pins with pearl ends. • Don’t forget to decorate the stems... Apply glue to the stem and sprinkle with glitter, tie on pieces of curly ribbon to the stem, glue on fall leaves, or attach some wire coils. CARVING TIPS • Make white teeth or eyes by cutting only through the surface of the skin. Then use a knife to “peel” or cut back the orange layer. • Make holes for ears and use pumpkin scraps with funny shapes to stick in those holes. • Use metal cookie cutter to press shapes into the pumpkin surface. Then, remove the orange “skin.” • Create candleholders from small pumpkins. Cut a round hole in the top of the pumpkin and scooping out enough to hold a votive candle.

Pumpkin Seeds

For two cups of cleaned pumpkin seeds, toss with 2 T melted butter, 1/2 t garlic powder, and 1/2 t seasoning salt. Spread seeds onto a cookie sheet and bake at 300 degrees for 40 minutes, stirring often, until browned and crisp.

Trick-or-Treating Tips: Halloween Safety Whether or not your family chooses to trick-or-treat or to attend a costumed event, here are some tips to ensure a safe, enjoyable evening for everyone. COSTUME PRECAUTIONS • Purchase flame resistant costumes or fabrics. • Select outfits and shoes that fit well to prevent tripping. • Buy or make costumes with light-colored fabrics and decorate bags and clothing with reflective tape. • Use flexible materials for props such as wands or swords to avoid injuries. • Remember that nontoxic makeup is safer than masks that can hinder vision. • Plan your route in advance. Don’t cut through yards or alleys. • Carry a flashlight. • Cross only at street corners. (Child pedestrian deaths are 4 times greater on Halloween.) • Only visit homes with porch lights on. Never step inside anyone’s home. • Eliminate any trip hazards on your porch and walkway. SAFE SWEETS • Don’t let your child eat candy that isn’t commercially wrapped. Throw out any homemade items from people you don’t know. • Don’t let your kids snack while trick-or-treating until you can inspect candy at home for signs of tampering. • Don’t allow young children to eat small, hard candies that can be choking hazards. • Limit your trick-or-treating time so kids don’t gather too much candy. • Allow children to choose one piece of candy to eat for snack each day. • Consider having a Halloween fairy visit your home a week after Halloween to swap any excess candy for a small gift. • Try passing out stickers, bubbles, small toys, and other bulk treats instead of candy.