Chuck Norris Counterplan

Contention 1-Text The [insert plan actor] will enter into prior genuine consultation with Chuck Norris on whether or not to do the plan, which shall be implemented if and only if Chuck Norris approves. We reserve the right to clarify our intent. Contention 2-Competition 1-The CP competes by severing out of the immediacy of plan action-the aff must defend plan implementation as immediate; that’s key to neg ground and strategy because we can only cut brinks for disads that assume the squo not future implementation 2-The CP severs out of the certainty of plan action-defending plan implementation as certain is the basis of a stable advocacy; that’s key to clash because we can’t debate a moving taget 3-The CP is competitive through the Chuck Norris relations NB Contention 3-Chuck Norris is Awesome 1-Chuck Norris insures the FDIC Generally Awesome, date unknown (Humor website, “Awesome Facts About Chuck Norris”, http://generallyawesome.com/humor/ch...is-facts.html; Jonathan) Most people understand that their bank deposits are insured by the FDIC. What most people don’t understand is that the FDIC is insured by Chuck Norris. 2-FDIC is critical to economic stability and prosperity Allison 05 (John S., Commissioner of Banking & Consumer Finance State of Mississippi & Chairman, Conference of State Bank Supervisors Before the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Board of Directors May 24, 2005, “Public Debate on the Health of the Dual Banking System is Essential”, http://www.fdic.gov/news/conferences...son_summ.html; Jonathan) The FDIC plays a crucial role in the interstate supervision of state chartered banks and in monitoring the banking industry's health. In its leadership role, we urge the FDIC to ask these public policy questions: Is it good for the industry to have only one viable charter alternative for banks that operate in numerous states? We say no. Is it good public policy to have the largest banks subject to supervision by a single chartering authority? We say no. Will the state banking system, which has served this country so well throughout our history, retain its relevance and political significance if it charters only 17 percent of the nation's banking assets? We say no. Is it good to lose the FDIC and the Federal Reserve's current roles in regulating and supervising these large, interstate banks? We say no. 3-The impact is extinction Beardon 00 (Tom-, Retired Lieutenant –Colonel, “The Unnecessary Energy Crisis: How to Solve it Quickly,” www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3aaf97f22e23.htm) History bears out that desperate nations take desperate actions. Prior to the final

economic collapse, the stress of nations will have increased the intensity and number of their conflicts, to the point where the arsenals of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) now possessed by some 25 nations, are almost certain to be released. As an example, suppose a starving North Korea launches nuclear weapons upon Japan and South Korea, including U.S. forces there, in a spasmodic suicidal response. Or suppose a desperate China-whose long-range nuclear missiles (some) can reach the United State-attacks Taiwan. In addition to immediate responses, the mutual treaties involved in such scenarios will quickly draw other nations into the conflict, escalating it significantly. Strategic nuclear studies have shown for decades that, under such extreme stress conditions, once a few nukes are launched, adversaries and potential adversaries are then compelled to launch on perception of preparations by one’s adversary. The real legacy of the MAD concept is this side of the MAD coin that is almost never discussed. Without effective defense, the only chance a nation has to survive at all is to launch immediate full-bore pre-emptive strikes and try to take out its perceived foes as rapidly and massively as possible. As the studies showed, rapid escalation to full WMD exchange occurs. Today a great percent of the WMD arsenals that will be unleashed, are already on site within the Untied States itself. The resulting great Armagedoon will destroy civilization as we know it, and perhaps most of the biosphere, at least for many decades 4-Chuck Norris is the man and is always right. This puts the affirmative in a doublebind: if the plan is a good idea, we get 100% solvency plus the risk of a NB; if the plan is a bad idea, Chuck Norris will reject it 4Q.com 06 (Blog, “Top 100 Facts For Chuck Norris”, http://www.4q.cc/index.php? pid=top100&person=chuck; Jonathan) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down. And-Chuck Norris says “yes” to good ideas-Dodgeball proves