Body Language

Body Language

INTRODUCTION Each person has many indicators of who they are. Facial expressions, body language, speech patterns, and handwriting all reveal insights into an individual's emotions and personality. How we communicate is much more important than the words we say. Many studies and reports have shown that communication is approximately 7% verbal, 38% vocal, and 55% body expressions. Body language is the science called kinesthetic. By careful observation of how someone presents herself, you can understand whether your communication is achieving its goal. By controlling your body actions, you can control the conversation. Although body language is generally an auto response to a situation, you can determine to change your language and as a result change your message and acceptability. It has been shown that you have 20 seconds to make a good first impression. You then have 5 minutes to prove yourself. After that you may be tuned out and lose the opportunity. The brain operates as a feedback control system. It controls the neuromuscular action based on a personality characteristic and perception. If the language is changed, then that trait will be modified. The mental paths are drawn whether the traits are trained or untrained. The practice of kinesthetics is as old as mankind. We have all used it, even if not trained in its nuances. Who can not recognize when another person raises an eyebrow or shrugs a shoulder indicating a question of the credibility? The science is important in personal relationships as well as business ventures. We are all selling something - either ourselves, an idea, or a product. Therefore understanding how your client or relation is perceiving you is crucial to your success.

Body Language - Diagram Since many indicators reflect who a person is, we have developed common approaches to identification and analysis. The procedures and structures commonly taught are primarily based on correlations to a personality trait. The trait is identified, then the appropriate language is described. Although this is effective to describe the trait, it is inconvenient for a structured, mechanical examination of the expression. Because of my background and frequent research into mathematical structure of physical sciences, it became apparent there is a very consistent arrangement of all psychological and physiological symbols. These characteristics are three-dimensional. However, for one plane of analysis, this discussion breaks the study into the quadrants

of a circle. If the circle includes all possible body language points, then the language can reasonably be segregated into sections. As would be expected, this is very similar to the analysis of personality tendencies. The two basic indicators of body language are leaning forward or backward and having an open or closed position. Leaning forward is active while leaning back is passive participation. An open posture is positive, while a closed posture portrays a negative attitude. There are numerous muscles and attitudes that can be reflected in infinite number of points within the circle of body language expressions. Nevertheless, the basic expressions can be identified by the quadrants created from these two indicators.

The symbols represent the Involved, Supportive, Determined, and Constrained. Discussion of the significance and physical characteristics of each term are listed in Table of Traits. On its base level, body language is a physical expression of emotional response. Therefore, every person will express all these positions depending on the situation, stimulus, and comfort level. At the second level, the mental process can make a decision to express a certain attitude that results in a physical expression. At the third level, the body language can represent a mechanical response to an environmental or physical situation. This is a circular process that is discussed in much more detail in the section on Control.

A simple example illustrates the three levels. When a person is caught off guard, the first emotional reaction is to pull back and close up. Because of a previous experience, a person may not like someone or the way the person looks and makes a mental choice

to pull back and close up. When the temperature is cold, a person will pull back and close up. Whether the body position is a result of emotional, mental, or physical circumstances, the expression is similar and the mental responsiveness is the same. A person that is cold from the temperature will be cold to your ideas and discussions. Each of the quadrants is also the home response for one of the personality styles. It is the expression that the personality will go to without further stimulus. Regardless, every person can control the body language to achieve a particular response. By observing the body language when you are talking to someone, you can improve the influence to your way of thinking. Ask the right questions to move them from the negative side to the 'S' and finally to the 'I' language. Attempt to close the transaction only after they are moved to the involved quadrant. Similarly, by controlling your body language when talking, you will present a particular image. A person that is Involved during his discussion is much more believable than a person that is constrained. Since the body language correlates with the personality traits of a person, it is appropriate to consider a few other symbols that have been used in psychological circles. These are various ways that have been used to illustrate a persons reactions to stimulus. The trait color is the classic representation of the characteristics based on Hypocrites. The preferred color is the one that is often selected as the most liked. Type Name

Trait

Prefer

Animal

Car

Ships

I

involved

red

red

puppy

convertible

Paradise Star cruise

S

supportive

milky

blue

cat

van

Intrepid scout

D

determined yellow green $ Doberman Cadillac

C

constrained black

yellow

Missouri battleship

tropical fish Toyota/Honda Calypso research

Body Language - Table A brief table correlates the body positions with basic terms and how to respond to the person. Each of the quadrants of the circle correspond to a participation level by the listener. The attitude may be positive or negative and the action may be active or passive. The level of intensity increases as you move out on the circle from mild to strong. There is enough difference in the kinesthetics to notice different positions and to

warrant different terms. Type Name I Involved S Supporting

Position Lean Attitude Action Q Intensity Term interested open forward positive active +A mild intent strong soaking up open back positive passive +P mild searching strong

D Determined closed

forward negative active

C Constrained closed

back

-A mild strong

negative passive -P mild strong

dominant disbelief cavalier critical

INVOLVED is active and positive. In the mild case the person is INTERESTED in what is happening. At the height of active interest the person is INTENT to do something. SUPPORTING is passive but positive. SOAKING-UP means he is listening and you should go ahead with what you are saying. SEARCHING is more positive and implies she is thinking about it and evaluating what is happening. DETERMINED is active but negative. In the DOMINANT posture, the person disagrees and wants to make his point. Further regression to negative attitude is shown in active DISBELIEF. CONSTRAINED is passive and negative. The CAVALIER posture is indifferent to the situation. A more closed position is CRITICAL evaluation. When analyzing, use groups or clusters of physical positions. It is imprudent to look at only one action. There may be other circumstances that prompt isolated events. There may also appear to be a conflict between actions. These can generally be resolved very easily by seeing if the conflict item is necessary to support the posture. For example, stroking the chin is a positive response. However, this requires the arm that is stroking to be held in a somewhat unnatural and uncomfortable position. Therefore, it is common to use the other arm as a support. This would be a closed or negative posture if it were not a supporting feature.

CORRELATION There are only a few key items to observe that will identify each key term in the body language.

legs feet arms hands face eyes Each trait can be identified by the cluster of these anatomy actions. INVOLVED leaning legs feet arms hands face eyes

Interested forward near together on floor open open, finger to temple slight smile, looking open

SUPPORTING Soaking-up leaning back legs crossed in 4 pose feet arms hands face eyes

DETERMINED leaning legs feet arms hands face eyes

Intent forward open under chair, on toes open one on thigh intent intent

Searching back crossed in 4 pose

loop over chair back clasp behind head stroke chin nodding, head tilted sucks glasses, etc lots of contact, high blink rate look up and right

Dominant Disbelief forward slinking male knees spread tapping shifts in seat crossed or hands on hips tap,clench,point,rub hair/neck touch face, over mouth, pull ear frown, anger down and left staring at you sideways glance

CONSTRAINED leaning legs feet arms

face

Cavalier Critical slumped moving back over chair arm, locked ankles crossed in 11 pose toward door, fidget looped over chair back folded pointer straight up, thumb under, third at doodling, picking, clasp neck mouth down, frown

eyes

looking around

hands

Body Language - Hands Hand motions among men are the strongest indicator of attitude and emotions. Women use these to a lesser extent in deference to facial expression. Although hand action is very descriptive, it should not be used as a lone indicator of body language. Consideration must be given to the other indicators such as leaning, face, arms, legs, and feet. It is the combination that describes the kinesthetics. However, for men, this remains the predominant clue. Hands are presented in 3 ways - a single hand, two hands, and a serving hand. A serving hand is presented toward the listener in the form of a handshake, pointer, or exclamation. The description will be given, followed by the vernacular definition, and the value. Single Hand Motions Action

Meaning

Type

pulling up and ear open

hear noisevil here it

D I

touching pointer atnose temple finger under collar stroke chin rub back of neck hand folded under fingers through hair suck on pen, glasses scratching neck

Pinocchio put in mind(sensitive) hot under collar wait for whiskers pain in the neck support you pulling hair out pacified itching to talk

D I D S D S D S D

o eri mofi th

sa no b i e hil d

D

rubbing eye

see no evil

D

pulling ear

hear no evil

D

touching nose

Pinocchio (sensitive)

D

finger under collar

hot under collar

D

rub back of neck

pain in the neck

D

fingers through hair

pulling hair out

D

scratching neck

itching to talk

D

tapping finger

beating the drum

D

pointer up, thumb under, middle near mouth critical evaluation

C

fiddling with gadgets

other more important

C

doodling

going around in circles

C

supporting head

head rest

C

Two Hand Motions Action steeple protruding thumbs from pocket fast hand rub behind head behind back on hip slow hand rubbing handshake in fig leaf behind neck

Meaning Type authority of god S I am thumbs up S get warm together S passive comfort S attention S barricade D greedy D pick pocket D embarrassed C passive indifferent C

Presented Hand Motions Action up vertical down

Meaning submissive equality dominant

Type I S D

point club to beat you clenched holding anger

D D

Body Language - Action WHAT TO DO Each language position reflects what a person is feeling. To address those emotions, there are specific directions you should head. In conjunction, there are questions that may move the emotions and affect the attitude to the direction you desire. Type Name I

Involved intent

S

D

C

What next complete presentation

Questions

close the deal

Let's run your name across here.

give more facts / listen incentives / keep searching quiet Determined avoid contradiction Supporting

disbelief

move to evaluating

Constrained

spark interest even irrelevant

critical

Does that make sense? Do you agree?

I can see you know something about this, would you care to share your opinion?

How do you feel about this? (very carefully) I see you have a question, would you mind telling me what it is? I can see you have a question. What's your opinion?

Body Language - Body Images

Intent

Interested

Intent

Interested

Soaking Up

Soaking Up

Soaking Up

Soaking Up

Soaking Up

Dominant

Cavalier

Cavalier

Critical

Critical

Critical

Critical

Intent

Soaking Up

Soaking up

Dominant

Disbelief

Cavalier

Cavalier

Critical

Body Language - Face

Facial expressions in women and to a lesser extent in men, reveal emotions, attitudes, and anticipated action. In English speaking societies, it is generally unprofessional and considered unacceptable for a man to show emotions and feelings during business negotiations and dealings. As a result men may not notice the small subtle nuances of expression. For this reason, women often think men are insensitive. Facial expressions are derived from the eyes, mouth, and tilt of the head. Since it is such an important issue, eyes will be dealt with in a separate section. There are numerous nuances. The figure dramatizes the expressions in cartoon form. Nevertheless, these are an accurate overview of facial motions..

Body Language - Eyes The eyes have been called the window to the soul. Through this opening, you can observe into the very essence of a persons feeling. The eyes reveal more about the emotions than any other physical expression. Facial expressions are derived from the eyes, mouth, and tilt of the head. The eyes are

composed of the brows, lids, and gaze. Each eye element has separate, independent motion that is controlled by specific muscles. The muscles are the linkage that operates the physical response. The emotions can cause an involuntary muscle action. In contrast the mental faculties can voluntarily determine to create a particular attitude and expression.. The mouth and head tilt are very easily controlled by mental attitude. However, the eyes will tend to subtly reveal the emotions, even when they are attempted to be under control. The eyes are such a major part of who a person is that our language has common expressions that relate to this feature. The eyes observe and can be observed to reveal the emotions and attitudes. Each of the observing elements are separately identified with the language expression and the psychological representation. The positive and negative signs illustrate whether the person is receptive to you. expression BROWS appearance vernacular As the shoulders generally Upan interesting raisedobservation, raise a question question? + move the same as the eye lids. If the lids are predominantly up, then the shoulders tend to be raised. Conversely, if the Mid neutral lids are predominantly down, then the shoulders droop. It is as if the same control Down goes to furrowed cuttingsets deep exclamation! signal two different of muscles.

Down

digging in look down on negative -

SIDE

appearance vernacular

expression

Left

slice

I am right

active

Right

salute

you may be right passive

Up-Left I Up-Right S Down-Left D Down-Right C Roll in circles

mooning in outer space down & dirty down right hard here we go again

desire + thinking + disbelief critical not again -

The position of the gaze corresponds directly to the quadrants of the body language diagram. Up is positive, down is negative, left is active (I am right of you), right is passive. Hence I = up-left, S = up-right, D = down-left, and C = down-right. When the left and right side are different, this indicates a mixed signal between both sides. Therefore it shows doubt. Combinations of the eye expression explain a great variety of intense emotions. For example brows up lids up and wide open indicates surprise

Body Language - Eyes Expressions

brows up

neutral

lids up wide open

eyes up

brows down

lids down squint

closed

eyes down

wide open

squint

closed

eyes up

eyes down

eyes up-right

eyes left

eyes down-left

Hand Writing Traits

The page has many graphics, so it is somewhat slower in loading. The analysis of writing can be separated into seven shapes. Select the shape to see illustrations in that section. The section begins with a concise description table. The table includes the shape, orientation, indicator, and trait. Click on the trait for a script sample. Size

Angle

Terminal

Hump

Circle

Stem

Crossing

SIZE

Height extremely small capitals size large lower case ostentatious Space between letters

k -

concentration ego size defiance extravagant intuition

CONCENTRATION

____________________ EGO

____________________ DEFIANT

____________________ EXTRAVAGANT

____________________ INTUITION

____________________

vertical backward both back & forward straight, even Slope bottom up right down right -

sympathy logical emotionally withdrawn dual personality perfectionist optimism pessimism

____________________ EMOTIONAL

____________________ BALANCED

____________________ EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWN

____________________ DUAL PERSONALITY

____________________ PERFECTIONIST

____________________ OPTIMISM

____________________

TERMINAL Start large round tight circle hook middle hook upper inflexible upstroke wavy End long final or dash hook upper hook middle long 45 angle, spacing high in air underline signature

W,M,S -

desire responsibility jealousy acquire material acquire ideas resentment humor cautious tenacity ideas tenacity material

-

generosity

-

desire attention leadership

____________________ DESIRE RESPONSIBILITY

____________________ JEALOUSY

____________________ ACQUIRING

____________________ RESENTMENT

____________________ HUMOR

____________________ CAUTIOUS

____________________ TENACIOUS

____________________ GENEROSITY

____________________ DESIRE ATTENTION

____________________ LEADERSHIP

____________________

HUMPS

base v shape top

round needle point sharp into upper zone wedge shape downslope to right increasing height square

m,n

analytical thinker cumulative think, m,n slower comprehensive think, m,n,h,i fast m,n,h,r curious & investigative m,n m m h,r

surface thinker diplomacy self-conscious manual dexterity

____________________ ANALYTICAL THINKER

____________________ CUMULATIVE THINKER, Slower

____________________ COMPREHENSIVE THINKER, Faster

____________________ CURIOUS & INVESTIGATIVE

____________________ SURFACE THINKER

____________________ DIPLOMACY

____________________ SELF CONSCIOUS

____________________ MANUAL DEXTERITY

____________________

CIRCULAR sharp middle hook loop wide narrow, retraced open extra before extra after extra before & after

a,c,d a,o e,a,o a,o a,o a,o a,o

needs challenge frankness selective listener talkative self-deceit secretive lying

____________________ NEEDS CHALLENGE

____________________ FRANKNESS

____________________ SELECTIVE LISTENER

____________________ TALKATIVE

____________________ SELF DECEIT

____________________ SECRETIVE

____________________ LYING

____________________

STEMS

large loop

h

large loop retraced & taller tepee short, no loop no height down stroke & to right unclosed, sigma balance w/ lower Down average loop large, wide very long, big deep in next row, wide long, narrow low long in next row incomplete downward turn figure eight retraced breakaway top hard right up not normal shape

d,t d,t d,t d,t d,t

philosophical imagination sensitive to criticism pride & dignity stubborn independent thinker live for moment

t

directness

d, E f p,y g,j,y p,g,y

desire culture organizational ability physical desire physical imagination physical experimental

g,y

physical variety

g,y g,y g,y g,y g g,j,y p g,j,y g,y

socially selective too many irons in fire physical frustration fear of success fluid thought anti-social argumentative aggressiveness perversion

Up

____________________ PHILOSOPHICAL IMAGINATION ____________________ SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM

____________________ PRIDE & DIGNITY

____________________ STUBBORN

____________________ INDEPENDENT THINKER

____________________ LIVE FOR THE MOMENT

____________________ DIRECTNESS

____________________ DESIRE CULTURE

____________________ ORGANIZATIONAL ABILITY

____________________ PHYSICAL DESIRE

____________________ PHYSICAL IMAGINATION

____________________ PHYSICAL EXPERIMENTATION

____________________ PHYSICAL VARIETY

____________________ SOCIALLY SELECTIVE

____________________ TOO MANY IRONS IN FIRE

____________________ PHYSICAL FRUSTRATION

____________________ FEAR OF SUCCESS

____________________ FLUID THOUGHT PROCESS

____________________ ANTI-SOCIAL

____________________ ARGUMENTATIVE

____________________ AGGRESSIVENESS

____________________ PERVERSION

____________________

CROSSING dots close perfect circle slash line height level high w/ large I very low above double back unusually long wavy concave crossed backward heavy blunt sharp up down, blunt down, sharp mostly right mostly left

i,j i,j i i t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t

detailed loyalty individualistic, artistic irritability goal level self esteem hi self esteem lo goals unrealistic persistent enthusiasm humor self-control self-castigation will power definite, positiveness sarcasm optimism dominant domineering temper procrastination

____________________

DETAILED

____________________ LOYALTY

____________________ INDIVIDUALISTIC, ARTISTIC

____________________ IRRITABILITY

____________________ GOAL LEVEL

____________________ SELF ESTEEM HIGH

____________________ SELF ESTEEM LOW

____________________ GOALS UNREALISTIC ____________________ PERSISTENT

____________________ ENTHUSIASM

____________________ HUMOR

____________________ SELF CONTROL

____________________ SELF CASTIGATION OR CRITICISM

____________________ WILL POWER

____________________ DEFINITE, POSITIVENESS

____________________ SARCASM

____________________ OPTIMISM

____________________ DOMINANT

____________________ DOMINEERING

____________________ TEMPER

____________________ PROCRASTINATION

____________________

Hand Writing

based on a personality characteristic. If the handwriting is changed, then that trait will be modified. The mental paths are drawn whether the traits are trained or untrained. The practice of graphoanalysis has been around for millennia. It has been a common university course in Europe for centuries. Most major corporations use the technique for researching senior management and sensitive position candidates. It has only recently become a readily available tool for personal evaluation.

PROCESS The procedures and structures commonly taught are primarily based on correlations to a personality trait. The trait is identified, then the appropriate script is described. Although this is effective to describe the trait, it is inconvenient for a structured, mechanical examination of the writing. Because of my background and frequent research into mathematical structure of physical sciences, it became apparent there is a very consistent arrangement of all handwriting symbols. The discussion breaks the analysis into seven unique shapes. Each shape has two orientations of interest in analysis. The third, null orientation is the middle of the road that is typical or average. Each orientation will have several unique personality indicators. In any sample, the indicators may change. Also some of the indicators will be different at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of a word. Look at the prevalence of indicators of a particular letter and correlate with other letters. The seven shapes are size, angle, terminus, stem, crossing, hump, and circle. The segregation of the shapes illustrates the contrasting orientations. Each orientation is further separated by indicators, which are described later. SHAPE

ORIENTATION

SIZE

height space

ANGLE

slant slope

TERMINAL

start end

STEM

up down

CROSSING dot horizontal HUMP

top

CIRCLE

sharp extras

HandWriting - Table Each trait is identified by the shape, orientation, and indicator. SIZE

Height extremely small downslope to right capitals size increasing large lowerheight case square ostentatious CIRCULAR Space sharp middle hook between letters loop wide ANGLE Slant hard right narrow, retraced forward open forward slightly extra before vertical extra after backward extra before & after both back & forward Slope straight, even bottom up right down right STEMS Up TERMINAL Start large large loop round

HUMPS

concentration m diplomacy ego size m self-conscious k defiance h,r manual dexterity extravagant a,c,d needs challenge intuition a,o frankness emotional e,a,o selective listener balanced emotion & logic a,o talkative logic w/ some sympathy a,o self-deceit logical a,o secretive -a,o emotionally withdrawn lying dual personality perfectionist optimism pessimism philosophical hW M S desire responsibility imagination tight circle jealousy to criticism large loop d,t sensitive retraced hook middle & taller d,t pride acquire & dignity material tepee d,t stubborn hook upper acquire ideas short, no loop d,t independent inflexible upstroke resentment thinker no height d,t live for moment wavy humor down stroke & to right t directness End long final or dash cautious unclosed, sigma d, E desire culture hook upper tenacity ideas balance w/ lower f organizational ability hook middle tenacity material Down average loop p,y physical desire long 45 angle, spacing generosity large, wide g,j,y physical imagination high long, in air big desire attention very p,g,y physical experimental deep in next row, wide g,y physical variety underline signature leadership long, narrow low g,y socially base v shape mn analyticalselective thinker long in next row g,y too many irons fire top round m,n cumulative think,inslower incomplete gy physical frustration

wedge shape downslope to right increasing height square

m,n m m h,r

surface thinker diplomacy self-conscious manual dexterity

CIRCULAR sharp middle hook loop wide narrow, retraced open extra before extra after extra before & after

a,c,d a,o e,a,o a,o a,o a,o a,o

needs challenge frankness selective listener talkative self-deceit secretive lying

STEMS

h

Up

large loop

large loop d,t retraced & taller d,t tepee d,t short, no loop d,t no height d,t down stroke & to right t unclosed, sigma d, E balance w/ lower f Down average loop p,y large, wide g,j,y very long, big p,g,y deep in next row, wide g,y long, narrow low g,y long in next row g,y incomplete g,y downward turn g,y figure eight g retraced g,j,y breakaway top p hard right up g,j,y not normal shape g,y CROSSING dots

line

close perfect circle slash height level high w/ large I very low above double back

i,j i,j i i t t t t t

philosophical imagination sensitive to criticism pride & dignity stubborn independent thinker live for moment directness desire culture organizational ability physical desire physical imagination physical experimental physical variety socially selective too many irons in fire physical frustration fear of success fluid thought anti-social argumentative aggressiveness perversion detailed loyalty individualistic, artistic irritability goal level self esteem hi self esteem lo goals unrealistic persistent

unusually long wavy concave crossed backward heavy blunt sharp up down, blunt down, sharp mostly right mostly left

t t t t t t t t t t t t

enthusiasm humor self-control self-castigation will power definite, positiveness sarcasm optimism dominant domineering temper procrastination

HandWriting - Negative Traits The most negative traits make difficult relationships . People with too many of these traits can make life very tough. The degree of relationship problems depends on the frequency and the intensity of the traits. Be careful when dealing with these people. The table includes the shape, orientation, indicator, and trait. Click on the trait for a script sample.

ANGLE Slant both back & forward TERMINAL Start tight circle

dual personality jealousy

inflexible upstroke CIRCULAR sharp middle hook extra before & after STEMS Up large loop no height Down downward turn not normal shape CROSSING line very low

resentment needs challenge lying sensitive to criticism live for moment fear of success perversion self esteem lo

a,c,d a,o d,t d,t g,y g,y t

____________________ DUAL PERSONALITY

____________________ JEALOUSY

____________________ RESENTMENT

____________________ NEEDS CHALLENGE

____________________ LYING

____________________ SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM

____________________ LIVE FOR THE MOMENT

____________________ FEAR OF SUCCESS

____________________ PERVERSION

____________________ SELF ESTEEM LOW

____________________

Interpersonal - Influence

How to Win Friends and Influence People The book was written by Dale Carnegie and originally published in 1936. It has been reprinted numerous times and has become one of the most published books in history. The material has become the standard for personal relationships. Since it has such a strong impact on individual actions, it is occasionally maligned and the subject of some jokes. Nevertheless, it has stood the test of time. Carnegie summarized each section of the book. These are listed as an overview for the standard reference of personal interactions..

Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People • • •

Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two

Six ways to make people like you • • •

Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

• • •

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three

Win people to your way of thinking • • • • • • • • • • • •

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong." If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Begin in a friendly way. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. Appeal to the nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this: • • • • • • • • •

Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Let the other person save face. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Find You

BACKGROUND What you want to do when you grow up? Have you ever wondered what you were put on earth to do? That is one of the major personal challenges faced by virtually everyone. It can be as much of a puzzle for a 50 year old executive as an 18 year old beginning university student. Most people make

EXPERIENCE Warren summarizes activity part as experience necessary to be who you want to be. Network: Meeting new people is the most effective way to launch a job or enterprise. Skill: Ask open ended questions and listen. Persist: Do new things. Even when uncomfortable, persist.