Bmg Packlist

The Arctic Monkey's Completely Unofficial Burning Man Guide / Pack List Legal Stuff: All information contained within this document is protected by United States of America Copyright law. This guide is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike 3.0 license in accordance with the ten Principles of Burning Man. http://www.burningman.com/whatisburningman/about_burningman/principles.html You are free to share, copy, distribute, and transmit this work, and you are free to remix, adapt, change, or remit the work under the following conditions:     

Attribution. You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor, but no in any way endorses you or your use of the work. Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes, including, but not limited to, paid articles, linked articles, articles written for profit, books, magazines, or any other for-profit work. Do not Sell. You may not abridge or sell this work in any way, shape or form for profit without explicit compensation to both the author and the Black Rock Arts Foundation in equal measure. Share Alike: if you alter, transform, or build upon this work, including appendixes, revisions, changes or shifts, you may only distribute the work under the same or similar license to this license. License. For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work.

Any of the above conditions may be waived if the author is contacted and permission is obtained in written form. Verbal agreements are not acceptable. By navigating or reading past this page, you acknowledge and accept the terms of this license agreement and agree to abide by the terms of the license. To read the full text of the license, visit the URL below.

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.5/legalcode

Introduction All this started out of the list I have carried with me to every event I’ve been to in the Desert. Every year I put together my list, and every year I bring back stuff I never used. When something I’ve never used comes back, it gets crossed off the list. It expanded into a rationale of WHY I didn’t use some of the stuff on the list to someone who hadn’t been before. Then after I explained the rationale, there were more questions about the event itself and what went on there. So I wrote some more. And now it’s this thing. So here it is. In no order, you’re going to Burning Man. This assumes you’re doing this with no real prep work from ground zero and/or are looking for new tips. Either way, read on. Cue the ominous music, please.

2 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Step One BUY A TICKET. Now, the rest is easy. Get yourself there. Have a great time. Participate. Leave No Trace. Get Yourself home. Sucker. The basic principles behind my list follow the ethos of Burners everywhere: be so prepared your preparedness will make Boy Scout preparedness weep little khaki tears of shame. •

First rule: it’s a desert. It’s hot. People die in hot deserts without the right stuff.

•

Second rule: it’s a city. There’s lots of people doing stuff, some of it brilliant, some of it really stupid. Taking care of yourself and your needs prevents you from being the latter.

•

Third rule: Boundaries aren’t taken down by the event; you take your boundaries down yourself. If you aren’t comfortable doing something, don’t feel expected to do it. That includes this list. “Guide” is there for a reason. Your Mileage May Vary, Your Experience May Suck, and You May Find None of This Guide To Be At All Useful.

The Beginning of the List:

TICKET, DUMBASS. If you don’t bring your ticket, you don’t get in. If you forgot your ticket, in 2008, you had two options. Go home and get your ticket or try to sneak in, get arrested, busted by either Perimeter or Gate, and get sent home or down to Reno to chill out with the cops in their new fancy Hotel For Morons (also known as jail). There’s a high probability that the Gate will have some kind of ability to charge your credit card so you don’t have to go all they way home, wherever it is, if you DO have a ticket and just forgot it, and when you get back home to civilization, can send the ticket into the Burning man Org for your refund. By the way? Sneaking in is not a smart option. Ten miles of orange trash fence, twenty perimeter patrollers, BLM, local sheriffs, and plenty of people who find it fun to catch sneakers lengthens the odds considerably. If you made it ALL the way down to the event without buying a ticket, you’re gambling pretty heavily on what you think might happen. All things are possible, but many are unlikely. Buy a ticket. Oh, and they have incredibly accurate ground radar. You know the kind that perimeter people might use to check to see if Guantanamo Bay prison escapes are happening? That kind. Perimeter used to be about finding people who snuck in; now it’s merely tapping the people who don’t know that the Law Enforcement Officers (LEOs) are out in force and can see anyone outside the trash fence. I mean, it’s just not even funny any more.

3 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Repacking Your Foodz Look at a pack of wheat thins. The majority of the box is occupied by air and packaging, not the actual food. So rather than packing the air and the packaging, you can recycle the materials ahead of time. Repacking your food works great for dry goods like cereal, brownies, oreo cookies, wasabi peas, beef jerky, etc. Grab some Ziploc bags (large freezer-size) and zip ‘em up. Not only will you be able to see your snacks, you can also compress the air out of them and roll them up tight for storage. You shouldn’t need more than one 18-gallon bin of dry goods for two or more people if you do this religiously. This also works for frozen foods and raw foods, like premarinated steaks (or precooked, which is talked about further on). It’s not really a good idea to do this with food like raw apples, bananas, etc, but it’s okay to do with things like sliced cheese and stuff that would normally keep well. For things like guacomole – leave it in the package, but the tortilla chips and tortillas that go with it are perfectly fine. Precooked bacon? Repack. Coolers I take one food cooler, one beverage cooler, and one box of food…with around 4 12-packs of canned drinks and twenty gallons of water. I do this for two reasons – my fruit smoothies, in a pinch, are perfect hangover food, and are always, ALWAYS welcome ice cold. Ice is available on playa at the 12 o’clock, 9 o’clock, and 3 o’clock plazas from 9AM to 6PM every day. Seasonings Bring salt. Salt, salt, salt. Salt peanuts. Salt pretzels. Dill pickles. Anything tasty and salty not only plants salt into your body to help keep water in it, it’s also tasty good. Try a dill pickle martini sometime – a very cold 3oz of vodka mixed with 4oz of ice-cold pickle juice. Green olives, kalamata olives, you name it. Le. Yum. Water and Rehydration Stupid as it sounds, the “piss clear” motto is a reminder, not a commandment. People have done water intoxication on themselves on the playa, which is overconsuming water without retaining it. This is why things like Gatorade exist. Don’t believe me? Drink 3 gallons of water in an hour and die. I wish I was kidding. I prefer Hydralyte, personally – a $12 tub of the stuff is terrific hydration stuff, mixes well with cold water and gets your butt back in motion. Other supplements like Zipfizz help with caffeination and B12 vitamin replenishment, but you –need- Gatorade or the equivalent out there to replace your electrolytes if they’re depleted. Overall? Eat what you’re hungry for. Do not worry about balanced meals. Worry more about consuming fiber, liquid, and salt enough to keep you going. If you think you’ll plow through four pounds of salad in the first day, go for it; just remember the port-a-potties are almost ALWAYS well-distanced from wherever you are camping. (And if they’re not, just

4 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

remember that even a block away is too close during the three-o’clock sun). And if your system does not react well to certain foods that you would take camping for a week, then make sure you pack Immodium. WATER If you don’t bring at least fifteen gallons of water, STOP. GO BACK TO RENO. GO BACK TO KLAMATH FALLS. GET IT. I’m not kidding. You can survive in the desert only with water. I usually bring 20 gallons, because I’m lazy, people like having water, and I just keep sticking it places that I can find in the car that aren’t yet occupied by other things. Water is simply one of those things that won’t screw you up if you have it with you, but will definitely screw you up if you don’t. If you have room in your vehicle, I suggest purchasing a five-gallon job site water cooler, filling it with ice, then dumping water into it until the ice floats. The ice will melt in the heat; and lo and behold, you have fresh, cold water to drink – and you can drop your gallon purchase by 1/3. ICE: Yep, they sell ice at Burning Man. It now costs $3 for a bag of crushed ice; $15 for a six-pack. It’s a good idea to bring money for that reason. When your ice melts, it becomes water, which can make your playa area a mucky, gucky mess. Bring a bucket to drain your ice water – it’s helpful and keeps the playa mudfree. And if you keep your coolers clean, you can use the cooler water to fuel your playa shower. FOOD LIST: Keep in mind that I also live off of Burning Man food and the remainders of what I took to the playa for a month. Plus I also feed damn near anyone in my camp, to the point of pouncing on them and shoving food in their mouths. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO BRING THIS MUCH FOOD. In fact, cut this in half for a family of four. Tips: if you’re not bringing an RV or microwave or setting up a kitchen, you’ll likely be eating out of cans or packages of food. While it’s tempting to use your vehicle hood or other flat metal as a food warmer, it can also backfire on you (literally). I won’t explain the Sun Chicken incident of 2005, but the name alone should give you pause to this method of cooking. I HIGHLY recommend if you do want heated food, to wrap premade food in foil and to heat it on a propane grill, disposing of your foil afterwards (in your Ziploc bag, of course!) You’ll notice that on almost all the meats, I precook them. I don’t like my food to take very long because I don’t LIKE spending an hour making food. I like heating my portable grill up, slapping a few slabs of meat down, wolfing down the food, and moving on. Easy! Which means if I have cheese, I preslice and preshred. I do ALL the prep work at home. The only thing I don’t prep is eggs – but that’s because I buy the carton of EggProduct and make my scrambled eggs from there, if at all (I cannot STAND eggs unless they're in cookies or as a holder of things like beans, rice, tomato, jalapenos, etc). If I have ANYTHING that’s food related that might need me to do more than open a Ziploc bag and dump it out onto something else, I’ve not done my job right. Canned versus bottles? Glass may look lovely. Glass may be nice. Glass is fucking heavy. Avoid glass,

5 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

with or without liquid. It's also something you have to pack in and out, and believe me, the minute you wind up with a giant bag of broken glass, you have a bag of suck. Sure, this does mean you have to be picky about the whiskey you drink (or refuse to be, as the case may be) OR to be extremely careful to keep your glassware taken care of. You can apply this tip to your food and beverage cups. One final note on food before we go to the list: bring both Immodium A-D and Pepto-Bismol, as well as your laxative of choice. Sounds silly, right? Not so much. Diarrhea and constipation will fuck your day in five minutes. So make sure you bring enough. Frozen Food Cooler 4 burritos, frozen, foil-wrapped, cut in half in ziploc bag

4 lbs bacon, cooked to 80%, frozen. (Bake at 400 degrees in pan with lip, sponge off grease, bag in Ziploc, freeze)

24 pancakes, 6", cooked to 90%, frozen 2 cans veggie chili

5lbs beefsteak, cooked to 80%, ziploced, frozen 1 beefstick, sliced thin 1 pack frozen sausage patties 2 lb sliced turkey lunchmeat

4 cans frozen pineapple juice 4 cans frozen limeade Poured into blocky sealable jug, frozen

2lb cheddar cheese, sliced 1 lb sliced provolone Laughing Cow cheese wheels (2)

*Note: I seal everything in plastic and keep anything that could leak via icewater towards the top of the cooler, away from where the water will congregate. I do this because I use the melted icewater from the cooler as my shower water, draining it into a five-gallon bucket and then using that as water to bathe with. Your Ziplocs should take care of most of this, but put your packaged food (pancakes, meats, takeout) towards the top and place the bottled stuff towards the bottom. Dry Packaged food (with as much plastic and cardboard packing removed as possible, canned goods okay to not remove): Condiments: Salt and Pepper Tapatio Mustard Sugar (cubes or crystal, 1lb) Caffeine: Starbucks Via, 12pk Instant tea mix, lemon Zipfizz/Zipshots 24pk

Canned beverages: Hansen Fruit Smoothies (1 case) Gookinaid (one tub, 8 smallpack)

Snacks: Tortilla chips Spray cheese (in a can) (4) Pickles (1 gallon) Olives (large jar) Crackers (3 boxes) Beef jerky (2) Peanut butter pretzels Tostitos cheese dip (can) Fritos bean dip (can) Sweet salsa

Candy: Green tea mints Orbitz gum Jolly Ranchers Skittles Black licorice

Frozen, In Cooler Lemonade (2qt, x2) 8 Snickers Bars (double-

Boozahols 1 bottles cheap vodka (1.75l) 2 bottles good whiskey (750)

Vitamins: Chewable Vitamin C Omega-3 Chewies B12 supplements 5-htp supplements

6 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

PBR in the can (24) Strongbow (12) Colas (12) V8, Spicy (12)

ziplocked, prefrozen, buried in cooler)

1 bottles good rum (750)

7 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Fresh food (NOT FROZEN): I usually stick all my fresh food in the beverage cooler. That way, I not only have it sitting right in front of me, but can munch on an apple. And if my beer is cold, so is my apple.

Fruit: Apples Oranges Limes

Veggies Avocados / guacomole Lettuce shreds Cucumbers

Breads: Sandwich bread Pita pockets English muffins

Kitchen: Table Skillet Sponge Camp stove Wooden cutting board bowl (metal) Knife Forks Spoons (or sporks!) Plastic pitcher with sealing top Metal martini shaker Water bottle Liquor flask Can opener Corkscrew Kettle

Cleaning Contractor bags (5mil) Cardboard box for burnables Paper towels Spray cleaner Baby wipes Kitchen area tarp (8x8) Dr. Bronner’s Soap Scrubby Sponge Dishwash bins (2)

Tenting Tent Tent tarp or groundcloth Rebar stakes 100’ strong rope Shade structures (at least 1) Mattress pad / inflatable Mattress pump Sleeping bags / bedding Sheets (2) Pillows (2) Extra blanket Cover sheet Dropcloth or area rugs Camp chairs Battery-powered lights/lantern

Tools Trucker tie-down straps Rope Extension cords 6-plug outlets Pliers Crowbar Sledgehammer Comfortable work gloves Vehicle oil Car starter (or jumper cables) Bike lube Hand cleaner Bike lock (if bike brought) Bike light (if bike brought)

First Aid Kit (basic, add) Hand sanitizer Maxipads Cloth tape Saline solution Immodium A-D Pepto Bismol Aleve

Gear List

Sanitation Baby wipes 5-gallon cat litter bucket Toilet paper Nitrile or latex gloves Ziploc bags

Personal LED headlamp Sunscreen Lip balm Camera Cellphone Goggles

Miscellaneous Personal razor kit Apple Cider vinegar Foot bath basin Sunglasses (2pr) Towels Portable shower Tub for gray water Bandanna or headrags Hats Body Scrubbies Nasal spray Condoms Electrical tape Camelback or backpack Camera Books

8 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Your bed You may think you’re going to rock all night and all day and sleep when you’re dead, but the probability of that is pretty small. It’s not uncommon to hit a wall of your own sleep deprivation and zonk out for twelve hours straight. So make your sleeping zone as comfy as possible. The playa is cold, lumpy, hard, and very dusty. You can sleep on it, but I don’t recommend it. I’ve slept in dust, pup tents, under a truck, in the front seat of my car, in a palatial tent, in an RV and in a van. And I can without a doubt assure you that each of these would be MUCH improved with more insulation and shade, and less “roughing it”. You will get Jiffy-Popped – the sun striking down in the morning, heating up the tent and rapidly making you leap out of the tent and sprawl anywhere that is NOT in your tent to escape the solar oven. To moderate that, place a shade structure over your tent with ventilation space between the two structures. Some people just go for a big structure and shade under it as well. The cover sheet is essential if you’re tent camping. Dust gets everywhere; but you can indeed clear it out by dropping a simple cheap cover sheet over your bed. You peel it back, climb in, and pass out. The next day – just pull it over yourself again. Dust storms seem to happen most during the day and not at night. Kitchen If you plan on cooking anything or doing any kind of prep work, set up your kitchen AFTER you set up your tent. Move your coolers onto scraps of 2x4 off the playa and do the same with your food bins. This will help reduce direct heat contact. You can also put a tablecloth over a table and stick your coolers under it, which helps reduce sun heat. Cleaning Using the contractor bags to store your garbage is smart – the bags are the stuff job sites use to clean up things like wood scraps, nails, broken glass and ceramic, etc. Also, they hold a lot, and if you tie them up very carefully can be hauled away outside of your vehicle when you leave no trace on your way out of the playa. Nitrile gloves help in your mooping efforts, as well. Having a cardboard box for your burnables (paper plates, napkins, paper towels soaked in bacon grease) helps with cleanup, too. Don’t burn baby wipes, though – they are in point of fact plastic and ergo, nasty. Baby wipes are a Burner essential – you can clean hands, face, body, dishes, tools, butts, armpits, and freshen up at any time. Buy a giant stack. You’ll use them. If you put them in a Ziploc bag, you can even stick them in your cooler for a refreshing cleanse. DO NOT PUT BABY WIPES IN THE PORTAPOTTIES. EVER. Sanitation It is a simple matter of playa life that when you gotta go, you GOTTA GO. Bringing one-ply toilet paper,

9 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

hand sanitizer, baby wipes, nitrile gloves, and a big bucket of kitty litter is just making sure you aren’t caught with your pants down, embarrassed. Every so often a portapotty will be out of order for reasons of disgusting. Be prepared. Having your own gear that you can take into a clean portapotty that may be out of toilet paper but otherwise serviceable is the best thing you can do. As for the kitty litter… Kitty litter ain’t just for cats, you know. If gastrointestinal distress hits and you can’t make it to the portapotty, a bucket of fresh kitty litter with a sealable lid that you can throw away at the end of the event makes a really good emergency poop or puke station. And you won’t have to do the cleanup of shame.

WARNING: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN ONE-PLY AND BODY FLUIDS IN THE PORTAPOTTIES. NO, SERIOUSLY. NO BABY WIPES. NO TURKEY CARCASSES. NO WATERMELONS. NO CHARMIN ULTRA DOUBLE SOFT QUILTED ANTISEPTIC ENEMA BAGS. If you gotta use a babywipe, take a gallon Ziploc baggie with you. Put the used babywipes into the Ziploc baggie and seal it shut. Pack the Ziploc baggie out with you in your disgusting garbage sack (wet banana peels, bandaids, other biohazard material, etc). Why? Baby wipes gum up the portapotty maceration machines and completely screw it up. Nothing but one-ply and body fluids go into the portapotties, or you screw up the machines and make it impossible for the company that services the portapotties to process any more material. Meaning if they shut down because your stupid baby wipe blows out their system, you and everyone else are gonna have to get really, really good at holding it. And it will be all your fault, you dirty poopy babywipe dumper, you. First Aid Kit The Medical Stations are not your Band-Aid HQs, so carry a supply of stuff on your own. Also, it’s good to have the more embarrassing meds with you so you don’t have to walk over to the Med Units clutching your belly and begging for anti-diarrheal meds. Emergency Gear: Untapped credit card Spare keys Phone numbers of family Medical authorization form Camp Contact These five things are damn near vital. I hope you never have to use them. Ever, but just in case, make sure you know where number one is stashed. Make sure numbers two through five are handed to someone you know and trust in your camp. Clothing:

10 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Entirely subjective. People wear incredible outfits some days. I tend towards vest, shorts, shoes and kilts during the day. At night I go for suits and kilts and furry jackets. Comfortable shoes for dancing, running, walking (all-in-one) that don’t lace up if possible. Don’t take a nice new pair of boots you’ve never worn walking for ten miles. THAT IS DUMB. Do not, under any circumstances, take shoes that are not comfortably broken-in, don’t fit well, or aren’t comfortable on your feet. Blisters will pop and get playa in them, become infected, painful to walk on, and will cause no end of suffering. Don’t do it. Limping is not sexy. Egg-sized water blisters are not sexy either. Comfortable shoes you can walk for miles in without any kind of discomfort? AWESOME. CLOTHING LIST: Sandals Slip-on shoes Comfortable boots Yoga pants 16 pr socks (change twice a day) Comfortable shirts, vests Underwear you don't mind walking around in public in (boxer briefs) Utilikilt Kimono / robe Jumpsuits (2) Pants, shirts Podbelt or bandolier Warm jacket for night (can double as costume) Hat and scarf for daytime I also keep one pair of shorts, underwear, socks and shirt ziplocked in my car so when I go home, I have clean, non-stinky clothing to change into once my first shower is done. It is NOT recommended to go barefoot on the playa. Playa dust is highly alkaline and if you go barefoot or wear Teva sandals all the time you’re likely to develop playa foot, which is basically a chemical burn on your tootsies. To neutralize it, wash your feet in water with apple cider vinegar. Personal Hygiene: On personal hygiene: I shower every other day on playa, but I do it with ice-cold water. It never MEANS to happen that way, it just does. Shaving this way really REALLY sucks. I’ve yet to find the perfect method. Fingernails: Paint your fingernails. No, seriously. Painting your fingernails a color you like before you hit the playa is an excellent idea. You will have dirt and grunge flying every which way and the nail polish acts as a barrier against the cracking that your skin is going through. Plus, if you paint your fingernails, nobody can see how filthy your fingernails actually are. Sunblock: Every morning, put sunblock on. Or swathe yourself in sunblocking fabrics. You're at 6,000 feet. You're going to be in pain and suffering if you get a sunburn. Lobstering is not an option. Bring aloe vera and ibuprofen if you DO get sunburned...and remember, even if you do want to go get tanked early,

11 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

it's best to smear it all up in the morning before you go anywhere. For women or men with long hair, investing the time and energy in braids or extensions is an excellent way to keep your hair relatively neat and easy to control. The gypsum of the playa becomes the world’s best hairstyling product, and will bond happily to your hair. Otherwise, just be aware that your hair will become a rat’s nest within a few hours. "Let it blow in the wind" is not a good hairdrying strategem. You will look like you put your head through a gypsum wallboard. I use body spray and baby wipes between days to keep clean and feeling relatively fresh, though I’ve also gone a full week without bathing at all. In both cases, the first shower you take will make you cringe at how bad you smell once you get home. Accept this, and decide what level of hygiene you’re willing to accept. Also be willing to accept the fact that you will STINK. No idea how to take a low-water shower? Try it in the shower at home. You wet yourself down, lather up with a scrubbie or a washcloth, then sluice down. Use only ONE gallon of water if you can. In either case, you have to dispose of your grey water one way or another. There’s TONS of information about graywater disposal on the playa – which I’m not terribly fascinated by. Go Google it! GIRL STUFF ON THE PLAYA I don’t know anything at all about girl issues on the playa. This is something there is a whole host of information on, and I’m fully aware that women do bleed, especially out there and on vacation. However, I’m also aware I’m a single male. Not my realm of expertise. I bring maxipads to the Burn because they are exceptionally absorbent and make for excellent gauze pads in the event of emergency. And by emergency, I mean “The Monkey just slammed his leg into exposed rebar and is shrieking in pain as blood is dripping from his leg, there’s no expensive gauze pads around, oh look, maxipads.” The same make good blister padding for feet. And frankly, sometimes also because sometimes friends just need one for the purpose for which they are intended. Talk to someone without a Y chromosome. ENVIRONMENT Setting up on the playa means setting up in an inhospitable environment. It is flat desert with talcum powder. Using vehicles to block the wind and to stage stuff is a very good idea. Take absolutely nothing you are not willing to lose. Have a favorite stuffed animal from childhood? Leave it at home. A $10,000 computer? The same. Your $700 eiderdown survival gear parka? Bag it and send it home. I once took home a $1,500 mountaineering tent that one day blew empty into my camp. Nobody showed up to claim it, and by the end of the week it was still just sitting there. Stuff goes away without warning. Sometimes it’s just blown away by the time you get back. Yeah, that. Trucker tie-downs, rebar, sledgehammers, and rope. If you have ANYTHING that blows in the wind, rebar it down. I keep my Costco garage structure up as unwieldy as it is for the simple reason that it’s a solid metal structure and rarely blows over. Properly secured, they will remain standing in a 75MPH wind. And yep, I’ve ridden out a 85MPH storm in a Costco carport before. For my Costco garage shade structure, I take six chunks of solid iron bent in loops, six trucker ratchetstyle tie downs, and secure the garage to the playa using the ratchet straps. Cross-braced like that, the only way the thing is coming down is in a tornado. It also adds some protection to my van when I park underneath it from flying debris from other, less-secured camps. I avoid parachutes on the playa for one

12 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

simple reason – parachutes are designed to catch wind. Using something designed to catch and hold wind as a shade structure in the middle of a windy desert sometimes makes illogical sense, but people still do it. Security Security: again, anything truly valuable, leave locked in your car. You cannot buy anything at Burning Man other than coffee and ice. You don’t need more than $80 for the week, and that’s even just slinging huge amounts of ice into your cooler and drinking coffee at center camp every day and every night. Every year, people surf through camps looking for items of value that are easy to walk off with. A friend in 2007 had a personal video camera she had brought, videotaping her entire experience, documenting the event with the full intent of putting together a video of it for a project. The camera meant a lot to her, and on Friday night, someone came through her camp, unzipped her tent, and walked off with the camera. Speaking of, getting a small padlock that fits between the zippers of your tent is a good thing if you have anything valuable. Or lock it in your car. Take spare keys to your vehicle and house. Don’t take your mass of keys that you always take everywhere. Spend the extra $10 and get one cheap, unmarked set made, and leave your house keys at home. The Little Things That Make Playa Life Nerve-Wracking Do you know where you’re camping? No? Of course not. Nobody does, really. So have your ticket ready. Get prepped early. Stake it out. Be friendly. Offer to help your neighbors, and be prepared to get hugs. Also be prepared to be welcomed home. A LOT. Plan out WHAT you’re going to do once you hit town. I can give you two examples: one group of people pulled in, set up, and had their entire “home” ready, got dressed and clothed and unpacked in two hours, then sailed off and came back happy and energetic. The next morning their co-pilot stumbled in with no water, no backpack, massive dehydration and no place to crash, no ability to get to any of it – because it was all still packed in the car. Be prepped to get your unpack on, THEN go get your party on. Notes on Leave No Trace Culture: Burning Man is Leave No Trace. MOOP is shorthand for Matter Out Of Place. MOOP is why I bring latex gloves, extra Ziploc baggies, and garbage sacks wherever I go. Most people spend about two hours picking stuff up out of the dust. I’ve seen people literally pick out glitter from the playa, piece by shiny piece. Again, it’s a personal commitment that everyone is encouraged to do. Following the Leave No Trace ethic means that I don’t use regular soap on the playa; I use Dr. Bronner’s liquid castile soap. I don’t wash my hair with anything but organic conditioner (if I even have hair). Keep in mind that you will see dark spots on the playa. This is where people have urinated. The portapotties are far apart. Urination on the playa is legally acceptable, defecation is not. The Bureau of Land Management will arrest you and cite you for pooping outside of a portapotty.

13 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Stopping Points: Depending on your route, I suggest NOT pulling a straight-shot to the playa. I plan on either crashing at family houses or in hotels after an eight-hour run, then getting up early and driving to the next point. This year, I plan on driving from Seattle to Klamath Falls or Alturas, sleeping in a hotel room, having breakfast, and arriving at 8 AM sharp on playa. Gas usually costs around $3.50 per gallon with a $.50 fluctuation in the prices during the summer months, especially in the smaller towns en route. So if your vehicle gets 10 MPG, you will spend roughly 2.5 the amount you would in a 25 MPG vehicle. If you’re coming from the north, fill up in Alturas, CA or Cedarville. Cedarville has one of the best familyrun service stations I’ve ever come across, but they are extremely limited in their ability to fix vehicles and/or provide service. It also depends on who’s driving. I’ve done straight-through runs before on my own, but I also know when to pull over and sleep for an hour. Adding time for the drive home is also important; leaving another 12 hour window is vitally important. Don’t assume you can drive all the way home Monday and get to work Tuesday morning; you will likely have to pull over somewhere. Carry a charged cell phone, the number of local tow truck companies, and sign making equipment that can help you say, “HELP BURNERS HELP” in the event you break down. The Monkey’s Law of Carpool Travel: If traveling with people, add one hour for every person in the car for starting off at the VERY least. Include ½ hour at any meal stop per person for errands, grocery shopping, gas, etc. If you travel by yourself, that includes you. Do not, under any circumstances, allow the driver to be egged into doing something that the driver isn’t comfortable with. More vehicle blowouts, rollovers, and Stupid Shit™ happens because the passengers are either so excited to go or so want to get home that common sense bypasses healthy, safe driving. Carry nothing illegal with you in the vehicle whatsoever that you’re not willing to get busted for, especially if you plan on crossing the border to the US. For that matter, obey all state and local laws regarding speeding. Do not speed. I honestly don’t care if you get a ticket, but all routes to Gerlach are insanely twisty and long, and the roads are nasty. Potholes that can and do flip your car are common. Deaths happen every year in the journey. Don’t be one of them. ARRIVAL: The first rule of arrival is: arrive on time. This is pretty oxymoronic, seeing as it’s entirely possible to lose three days without blinking at Burning Man. However, it’s the arrival on site that is the issue. As well as Exodus (the departure). In years past the festival has allowed people through the front gates before Monday morning at 12:01 AM. That isn’t happening any more. Arrive with your ticket in hand. If you have mixed early arrivals in your vehicle and non-early arrivals, they have to wait at the front gate. Let me be EXPLICIT: Do not expect that if you show up at a certain time, you’ll get in.

14 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Yeah, that means if only two people are on the early arrival list and you have five in the car whose names aren’t on the list, everyone stays at the gate. Last year traffic backed up into Gerlach due to the lines to get into the event. That was (approximately) a fifteen-mile backup on a single country lane of people and vehicles. BE PREPARED. Be prepared to be stuck in the worst traffic of your life, spending nine hours in the line waiting to get in. Be prepared to have water and snacks in the car; be prepared to pee in the bushes, be prepared to be hot and cranky and just want to GET IN. Think of this as a measure of your patience. Be prepared for this to happen if you’ve planned beautifully and have arrived at the same time refreshed and brilliant and gloriously happy. Be prepared to run your air conditioner, to get dusty early, to spaz out with others in the line, and to be hooting madly. Be prepared for the gate guys to not know how to handle your specific request (the smooth running of a line with an easy check-in procedure is the way they like it). If you’re coming in early, be prepared to have your name on the list. Double-check to make sure you can get in early and that you qualify for setup. Make SURE you are on the list more than once, and confirm that your name exists on a piece of paper somewhere. And be prepared to be patient. You’ll get in. You may not get in when you want to get in, but you’ll get in, and it’ll be awesome. Also, be prepared to hand the greeters something fresh and cold. It’s the desert; they’ve been out here in the heat. Anything ice-cold and delicious is always welcome. One thing about Gate Culture: the Burning Man Gate crew loves to see you. They love to go through your stuff. And then they love to see you not anywhere near them for the rest of the event. When you get to the gate, you need to turn off your engine and let them poke through your stuff. This is so people who want to skip paying for the ticket can’t be snuck in. The first time you’re stopped, you don’t need to show your ticket; the second time you’re stopped, you do. SETUP: If you’re in a theme camp, your location is often marked out for you. If not, it’s first-come, first-served. This is where those flags and marking ribbon tape come in handy. If you have multiple friends coming with you, organize your camp so that you make sure people have access to your area. If you do mark out a zone, make sure you’re going to use it. A good general rule is to claim ten feet by ten feet per person. So if you have five people in your camp with independent space, mark off about fifty feet by ten feet. Twentyfive? Fifty by fifty. Most larger camps (200 or more) have space designated in a 200 by 250 foot space. Who do you camp with? Anyone! You don’t have to have an official camp to be on the grid. Most theme camps have addresses, though it’s a good idea to check on the map to find a good space for you and your camp. Stay out of designated Theme Camp areas, though; moving your camp once it’s been set up is a MAJOR pain. And you will have to move it. Make friends early – if you see a perfect spot, check with the people camped around you, introduce yourself, and ask if they need a hand with anything once you’ve got your gear going. Literally, the social aspect of the event is the primary key to it. You may never see anyone again, but you’re all here to have a great time. Break out your water and snacks, your Camelback, sunscreen, hats, and shaded area FIRST. Not last.

15 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Not later. Or, if you’re arriving at night, make sure your warm clothes and work gear are accessible, including your headlamp. Even if you’re in a rush to set up and go out and have a blast, take care of yourself. If you start to feel hot, sit down and rest in whatever shade you can. If you don’t have something, ask. The standard joke, “How many Burners does it take to change a lightbulb?” “AH SHIT! I forgot the fucking lightbulbs!” is there for a reason. Someone will have a lightbulb – just ask around. Teardown and Exodus Yep, all good things end. Pick a leave time when you want to be on the road. At any time, including immediately after the Burn, you will have up to a two hour journey out of the event on the main road. Budget for it. Exodus has been known to last for up to six hours from camp site to road. The radio stations tell you how long the wait is. Now’s a good time to tear through your gear and find your clean clothes, spare babywipes, and prepare for the trek back to civilization. Any leftover canned goods, unspoiled food, cigarettes, unopened beer and liquor can be dropped off at the DPW way station on the way out of the event. What they do not use goes to food banks in the Reno and Gerlach area. Trash and MOOP: if you brought it, you take it back out. Bring garbage bags for this exact reason. There is a recycling camp that recycles cans and some plastics, but this isn’t the place to do all of your garbage needs. Don’t leave your trash on the side of the road, in a gas station garbage can, or at a rest area, and pick up as much of the garbage in your camp as you can. There are guides on how to pull rebar, stakes, and other embedded objects, but a pair of work gloves and a sturdy pair of pliers are the best tools. Driving Home: You’ll be exhausted, tired, dirty, smelly, with dust in your hair and on your feet. Sitting down in your car, you’ll find playa dust everywhere, and you’ll likely just want to get home. Don’t. Know your limits, know how fast you can drive, where you know you can stay, and how long you’ll be headed home. No, seriously. If you’re exhausted, don’t drive home. If you’re still drunk, DON’T DRIVE HOME. Pull over and take a nap. It’s better to arrive a little late than not to arrive at all. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll (or, in this case, really loud electronic music) Sex happens out there. It is not entirely uncommon for people to simply walk up to you and proposition you. Note the phrase, “People”. I have been propositioned by a married couple, two girls, a stiltwalker, an exceedingly obese man with a tiedyed beard, It’s okay to ask. In point of fact, asking is the key. Assume nothing out in the playa. Even if you see someone kissing four other people, do not assume that it’s okay for you to kiss that person as well. Shoving your face in and trying to kiss them will be less wellreceived than, “Hey, may I kiss you as well?” This ethos extends to pretty much every sexual interaction. If someone says “No” or is so impaired they cannot say “No”, it’s assumed that it’s a “No”. Keep in mind, however, that a polite query may result in a “yes”. Just be safe and cautious. The normal rules don’t apply out here; but at the same time making sure you communicate what you want is almost even MORE important here than in the default world.

16 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

Chemical Alterations Yep, they’re out there. They’re being consumed, drunk, snorted, sold, traded, gifted, described, ascribed, lost, found, munched, crunched, and recreationally injected. If you’re going to experiment with recreational drug usage for the first time, it’s a bad idea to do it AT the event. Your body chemistry is different and not knowing how your body and mind will react to a recreational substance can not only endanger you, but endanger others. Know what you’re taking before you’re taking it, and know how it affects you personally. Also, remember that people really do take care of their own out there, but that’s not a reason to overindulge on whatever you’re consuming and let people do what they will with you. Most of the time “do what you will” involves a trip to Charcoal Biscuit Land. Be careful about how much and how often you take your recreational substance of choice. For the purposes of this conversation, I’m including all legal, quasi-legal, and restricted substances sold both legitimately and illegitimately. The same rules to drinking vodka and snorting drugs apply out there – doing it for the first time or doing it to excess both endangers you and endangers everyone around you. One key and crucial difference: keep in mind that the event is being held on government land, with law enforcement officers from Washcoe County, Pershing County, The Bureau of Land Management, Nevada State Patrol, and Gerlach sheriff’s office. Undercover cops exist and WILL bust you if you are overt. LEOs actually there for your protection, but they do try to send people in to bust people for illegal drugs. So in the event that you are asked by someone you don’t know for illegal substances, it’s a best practice to deny them, flat. “No, sorry” or “I can’t help you” or “No” is the best way to describe them. “Do you know anyone who can?” is another question – the answer, again, is “No”. Music Ah yes. The music. If you require quiet, solitude and peace to sleep, bring 30db reduction earplugs and wear them. It goes 24/7. Art cars will drive by your camp at 3AM thumping “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Sound camps run all day and all night thundering huge stacks of speakers. People is loud. Asking people to turn it down is like asking the wind not to blow. You might get lucky. You most likely will not. Harassment, illegal behavior, or infringement Tell someone. Anyone. Your safety is paramount. Burning Man is a sexy event; NOT a sex event. If you are bothered, harassed, or someone causes problems for you, you can and SHOULD tell them to stop. Being aware of your own personal boundaries is the key to making sure nothing happens to you. Most people are aware, but there are always creeps in any society, of both genders and all ages. If people don’t ask permission, they don’t have it. If you want to kiss someone, ask to do so. You may feel corny as hell and they might say no, but without permission, you have nothing. If there is a major problem call the Black Rock Rangers. They are the mediators of the event, and liason with the local law enforcement. And if there is a serious violation, the perps will be removed from the event. Keep your interactions polite with LEOs at all times. Remember that you have rights as a citizen that don’t

17 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

abrogate the minute you set foot in the dust. Also keep in mind that LEOs are a part of the Burning Man community as well. Believe it or not, they’re there to keep things safe. Thanking them for working the event goes a long way to building community trust. If you are attacked, hit, or have anything else happen to you that’s a violation, TELL SOMEONE. Get help. This is not an environment where nothing else happens. Crimes do happen, but the idea of “fading away” doesn’t. People are held accountable for their actions. Yes, people run around naked, and those who do are comfortable with it. You don’t have to, if you’re not. Asking permission before you take a picture of someone is simply good courtesy. The goal is to have a safe environment for everyone to play in, and if someone gives you a creepy vibe and violates that trust, chances are if they’re not called on it, they’ll do it again. Burning Man Aftercare You've piled everything into the back of your car and you're headed home. Once home, you wonder if it's really, really worth cleaning everything out. Oh, trust me, it is. Hopefully before you left you made your bed, had clothes set out, instant food in the fridge and a bottle of wine ready to go. Your garbage is taken care of, your mail's had a hold on it, and everything you need to do is simply to unload your stuff out of the car. I take my vehicle, once it's empty, to a car wash where they wash it inside and out, vacuum the hell out of it, and detail the bits and pieces for around $50. You can do that too, or you can do it yourself, but I usually do it because I don't want to deal with it. If you have a rental car, this is going to be something you need to do BEFORE you take it back to the rental place; they'll charge you an insane amount of money otherwise. Wipe down everything you have that you want to clean out with vinegar, NOT ammonia-based cleaner. (Remember, vinegar neutralizes the playa!) Run all your clothes through the washer with vinegar once, then with vinegar again, and finally run it through with your regular washing detergent. While you're doing this, go buy some more underwear and socks, because you'll probably have killed your socks and underwear supply by now. As for your tent, camping gear, and everything else? Well, I sometimes recommend to people that if they're really attached to it, they can have a sporting goods store professionally clean it for them. For everyone else I just tell them to stick it in a garbage bag after a quick hose-down and dry-off. You won't want to use most of your gear that's been to Burning Man for anything but Burning Man unless you really just don't care about dusty and dirty stuff. For your bike, a hose-down of it quickly followed up by a lube on all parts will help keep the parts from rusting. Burning Man Aftercare for YOU You're going to come down off of the event and be a little disconnected for about a week afterwards. It's rare that people move straight from that environment to the default world without some kind of radical

18 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

change in their lives, and it's going to feel a little disconcerting. DO NOT, under any circumstances, do any of the following in the three weeks after the event: - quit your job - break up with your significant other - move to Reno (or anywhere else, really) - get married - get divorced - sell all your possessions and enter a monastery Many people get a bit of an event hangover, and it's perfectly fine; just remember that it's the hangover aspect of the party. This may also be the point when you say to yourself, "NO WAY NEVER AGAIN NOT A CHANCE IN HELL" or wind up being so giddy you begin planning next year's event. That's cool too, just remember, you've got 364 days to do that in. Finally, the most important thing of all: THE EXPERIENCE Burning Man is like nothing else on earth. It is a unique experience of utter desolation in the middle of nowhere. If you are the first person on the desert, you’ll be struck at how empty the place is. There is nothing there. It’s a blank slate. Then, slowly, a city is built. People arrive. They are noisy. They are funny. They are beautiful and ugly and kind and vicious, but they are still those people. And those people are what makes this event happen. And there are forty-five thousand of them, from everywhere. They paint the desert in themselves for one week, and then fade away, like nothing was ever there. The only thing I can explain about the playa is that it changes you in one way or another. Some radically alter their lives as part of their experience; others treat it as a week’s vacation to have an utter blast. Some realize their life’s potential. Some show up and run screaming in the opposite direction. But they all come for one reason or another, and they all leave. Knowing that the reality you live in that one week is different from the default world is something that most people should know is both the curse and the blessing of the event. Read the Survival Guide. Check out the Ten Principles of Burning Man. Be prepared to experience something completely unique and completely American. I can safely say there is NOTHING that this event is like in the world today, as many imitators and inspiring events exist – this is unique among all other events. It’s also nothing you can describe until someone has seen the blue moon rising over the playa and the sounds of the evening commencing, or riding the back of a giant dragon next to a seven-story tall Venus flytrap, while a man in a jellyfish costume that stretches for fifty feet in every direction dances on top of a barnacle. You may wake up intensely, sweetly, maniacally in love one morning, wish your lover well, and never see them again. Oh, and one more thing:

19 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009

It’s just a week in the desert. So have fun.

And don’t put baby wipes in the portapotties.

20 Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide & Pack List Revision 2009