Balancing In Life

Balancing in Life--Home,Work and Society S riniva san Ne nme li-Krishnaswami In the re ce nt olympics at Be ijing, we saw top gymnasts balancing pre cariously on the bar,but a lso doing the ir move s grace fully...We do the same thing with our daily live s-balancing the activite s of home ,work and socie ty....Do we pe rform with grace ? Are we stable on the cross bar of Life ? Are we playing to the audie nce , inste ad of de riving satisfa ction for our se lve s?---we ll,it is n't e asy to balance .Most ofte n, like the gymnast,we ove rcorre ct or unde rcorre ct our move me nts and some time s fall as we ll.How to balance nice ly,the juggling acts of our live s?---this is the main the me of this page . This ba lancing ce ntre s around thre e main se gme nts of our life ---home ,work and socie ty-- It has to do with our conce pt of 'succe ss' in our life ,the social pre ssure s,the cultura l more s--above all,our se lf-e ste e m. Most Ame ricans--othe rs as we ll--te nd to place gre a te r value [sorry,i use the ove rworke d word "value s'] on work---succe ss in care e r,at the ma rke tplace or in the board room. Most ofte n we may te nd to ove rlook or ne gle ct the othe r two se gme nts--name ly ,home and socie ty.The young e xe cutive or the pe rson fre sh from high scool or colle ge --wants to climb the care e r ladde r or corporate ladde r--the othe r two se ge me nts take back se at.While "whe n the time come s, I will spe nd more time to give a tte ntion to home or socie ty out the re !'--he says to himse lf....May be that time ne ve r come s,ye ars roll by and the home /family is in a me ss or no social re lationships whate ve r.S uch instance s are to be found in all advance d countrie s.We ll.,le ss de ve lope d na tions are catching up too---thanks to 'globalisation'. The imbalance I am talking about is plain to se e in the live s of many gre at me n who pop up in our school history books..me n and wome n who we re in public affairs or politics who we re dismal failure s in family se gme nt or totally isolate d from the ir own ne ighborhood or 'kith and kin'...why the y may be come strange rs to the mse lve s,be come lone ly or stupid.I am not e xage rrating this aspe ct...Re ad the biographie s of gre at me n who we re so obse sse d with the ir goals/achie ve me nts that the y wre cke d the ir e motional and family live s. The re are othe r kinds of imbalance s as we ll---some have spe nt all the ir time s at home tha t the y de ve lop such a narrow vie w of e ve rything e xce pt the ir imme diate family...wh at if the family me mbe rs do not me asure up or re spond favourably--e spe cially as the y age and the ir physical move me nts and me ntal facultie s ge t limite d.Re se ntme nts and rancour fill the ir e ve ning hours and te rminal days. It is obvious that as humans we should le arn to balance the thre e se gme nts--whate ve r ma y be one 's limitations and the social circumstance s we are born with and grow up in.O ur e ducation,school, church and re ligion-all the se should he lp us towards le arnin g about this balance and achie ving the balance ---in othe r words--le arn the 'Gymnastics of Life .' Unfortuna te ly ,the se 'syste ms' [sorry,I am using a te rm which he lps us to hide our we akne ss or swe e p e ve rything unde r the carpe t] are e ithe r faulty or inade quate ,with a fe w e xce ptions. O ne le arns by the hard way--with trial and e rror.Family bonds and tra ditions a nd cultural se ttings he lp,but the y may acce ntuate the imbalance as we ll.I n some socitie s and culture s as in the we st,work plays a large part---home and socie ty take 'low priority' or le ft for future ye ars or re tire d life . In e aste rn culture s,home and family ma y ta ke pre ce de nce that one may be so unconce rne d about the ne ighbors who ne e d he lp. Wha t can we do to achie ve this balance ? Firstly ,te ache rs,pare nts and e lde rs may he lp the young one s to achie ve this balance .This is a tall orde r.For instance ,most pare nts focus on the work/care e r se gme nt for the ir childre n that the young one s are caught in the ne t right from KG class. Te ache rs are alre ady ove rworke d with large cla ss stre ngth to bothe r about this aspe ct of te aching.S ocial le ade rs,churche s and re ligiou s pre a che rs are busy colle cting funds for the ir 'cause s' and building the ir e mpire s.Don t ge t

me wrong! The re are gre at pare nts,te ache rs and church le ade rs and gurus who te a ch and show the way...but the y are ve ry fe w and not e nough is be ing done to te ach this balance . What can one do for one se lf and one 's family? Are the re simple ways to ge t the focus or pe rspe ctive for achie ving the balance of Home ,work and socie ty? In the first place ,how we study ourse lve s to le arn that we are balance d or not?

Simple means and measures It is e a sy to sugge st se ve ral simple me ans and me asure s,but note that I am not giving away gre at se cre ts or simple panace a for the imbalance you may obse rve ...O ne could write large books and hold workshops on this--be cause social and cultural pre ssure s are so much to unbalance us.[ I dont blame the me dia alone for this,though I use d to do so!] He re are simple se lf-he lp possibilitie s to try and e xplore . 1 Firstly ,ta ke a time inve ntory of how you spe nd your time in the thre e se gme nts.Take a large she e t of pape r,draw thre e columns,labe l the m in thick,marke r pe ns --"Home ',Work' and "S ocie ty' Unde r e a ch column ,list the activitie s you do and the time you spe nd...Don't le ave ou t sma ll things---such as "te aching little Jame s to bicycle in the garde n' and so on. Afte r a we e k ,look at the ge ne ral picture that e me rge s from your chart. Are you spe nding lot of time in one se gme nt and ne gle cting othe r se gme nts...Le ave out those we e ks whe n you have pre ssing work like facing an e xamination . 2 Again take a she e t of pape r,write thre e columns and write down your imme diate goa ls and long te rm goals unde r e ach he ad of thre e se gme nts. Doe s that appe ar balance d? You a re the be st judge ....Le t the short-te rm goals be re ally small one s--to be gin with---such as 'taking kids to the zoo." 3 Ta lk to a frie nd,counse lor or me ntor or your grandpare nt about achie ving balance ...Your frie nd will know you be tte r than yourse lf. 4 Conside r for a fe w mome nts about your role mode ls...Did the y attain balance in the ir live s? How did the y achie ve the balance ?-- a fe w pointe rs from the ir live s could give clue s. May be ,afte r this analysis,you may e ve n change your role -mode ls!. 5 You ma y also rank yourse lf in the thre e se gme nts.For e ach se gme nt,write out crite ria for sa tisfaction in that se gme nt...Rate yourse lf in a scale of 1 to 5 for e ach crite r ion.....Add the m up and se e how much you score ...Also se e the crite ria in which you show inade quacy...You may change your crite ria afte r a fe w months...be fre e to do so. 6 If you are one of those give n to re ading se lf-improve me nt books---se le ct one or two books for those se gme nts which you ne e d to improve .... I am not sugge sting that you me asure upto some one e lse 's ide a of balance in YO UR life ...You do the asse ssme nt yourse lf...you are the one to me asure up your balance in life ,not some one e lse ...

Goals for Balancing Ba la ncing in Life is not e asy...we all make se ve ral short te rm goals which may unbala nce the thre e se gme nts.But ove r ce rtain pe riod of life ,say one to two ye ars, it should be balance d...Give room for short te rm focus on one of the thre e se gme nts...but ke e p the long-range goals in cle ar pe rspe ctive . While e ach one may face his/he r proble ms in balancing, we have se ve ral mode rn me ans of te chnology to cope with our live s and re structure to achie ve balance ...For instance , compute rs and inte rne t can provide ve ry valuable re source s and me ans in this fa st-pace d life . But , do not de pe nd on your e ducation or re ligion to provide all the tools you ne e d....The y only he lp to point the dire ction.

While you try to achie ve gre ate r de gre e of balancing, many ne w de cisions you ma y ha ve to ma ke ...The de cisions may be small one s,like coming home e arly from busine ss trips , or big de cisons like change in job/profe ssion and change s in location and cha nge s in life style ....For the se de cisions,se e k advice and he lp from othe rs..but de cide for yourse lf and own your own de cisions. You cannot achie ve happine ss,joy and satisfaction in life without le arning to ba lance the thre e se gme nts--Home ,Work and S ocie ty....You may be come gre at and powe rful, in the e ye s of the world,be come a le ade r in your community or nation....but you cannot ha ve inne r satisfaction without the balance in Life ....Le arn to balance soone r so tha t you ha ve no re gre ts late r....It is not e asy.But you should not se ttle for le ss...afte r all, YO U a re balancing YO UR life .'You are the maste r of your fate '---somone wrote ---we ll, bala ncing is a primary way of maste ring your fate in the worldly se nse . -------------------------------------------The End-------------------------------------------------------------