Apr-09

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Rail Trail #3

Ravings Of A Diseased Mind aka I’m only serious when I’m not laughing aka

HHRBS Blurbs aka

No Opinion, No Brain!

March 10th, 2202 pm

by c james “Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.” –Niccolò Machiavelli–

Lies, Lies & Damned Lies

Full Moon Rising

Howdy Doody wouldn’t have it an’ furthermore we have to believe that as time goes on an’ the Sheeple that elected this dude will see through him as well but won’t fess up on account’a nobody likes to admit it when they’ve been totally duped and now that we got that off our chest we feel lots better! Damned right we do good buddy,

E:Mail • ESP • entre nous • Pony Express • Courier Pigeon •

damned right!

Twiddle Diddle Dee Holy Molé and Holy Shi† too what is going on with folks these days when new sex toys are becoming all the rage with women buying little weird, funny lookin’ goodies that can be

Congress Should Cut their Pay to:[email protected] From:heademup@

Welp, th’ truth is that the more we watch this babbling liar operate the more obvious it becomes that he’s one not so slick dude that actually believes his own BS and we’re just downright embarrassed for the folks that stand behind him thinking that the messiah has arrived and will soon fix every little thang when its pretty obvious that the Pelosi Dem Mommy Party is pulling the strings on this cute little guy’s tremendous ego like

brought along for discrete twiddlin’ an’ diddlin’ jus’ about anywhere a girlie feels the urge referrin’ of course to the Trojan® Her Pleasure Vibrating Touch™ fingertip massager which Trojan claims is “the perfect little aid to create big pleasure, providing thrilling vibrations right at your fingertips” which comes in all various and sundry froofroo colors and a discrete twiddlie/diddlie can be snuck in while drivin’ along or at the movies or jus’ about anywhere the urge to twiddle an’ diddle strikes. Aw man say it isn’t sooooooo good buddy!

We caught your rail on Congress taking their annual payraise last month and thought I’d add my two cents. Its an outrage. Our President never mentions pay cuts for Congressmen or capping salaries for his cabinet. Besides his $400,000 annual base salary, BO gets a $100,000 nontaxable travel ac-count, a $50,000 expense account, and $19,000 per year for entertainment. He also is given tax-free use of a 132room mansion with a staff of cooks, waiters, servants, doctors, and a topnotch security force. The mansion, set on 18 acres, includes 35 bathrooms, a movie theater, bowling alley, billiard room, tennis court, jogging track, putting greens, and a home office. When that becomes too confining, the president and his family can fly on any of his fleet of helicopters to Camp David, a taxpayer-funded 125acre retreat that also is fully staffed. Speaking of private aircraft, the president can choose from two custom taxpayer-funded Boeing 747s, or smaller craft in case he needs to visit a location with a shorter runway. Perhaps someday he'll take one of them to Detroit to see how cars are made. Depending on where he fills up, it could cost taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars just to fuel it. (Must not be a hybrid.)

"It's not about Wall Street greed, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, the lack of regulation, politicians, and those bad, bad financial lenders. It is about the individuals who made a choice; a choice to sign a purchase contract for a home, an SUV, or a new boat that they could not afford." Why don't we ever hear about consumer greed?

Question Behind The Question to:[email protected] From: lwhitehead@ Hello!! My husband and I are from Canada and love visiting HHI in March. We pick up your publication for its refreshing views and realism.< Keep up the good work. > Someone has to let the world know what a disaster this administration is and how dangerous it is to freedom. We just hope that freedom of speech will not be one of the first amendments to go. I've included an article from QBQ, something that you may or may not have been exposed to in the past. The book is a great read as well. I distribute John's articles among our franchisees. It throws a bit of reality into everyones world. Enjoy. :) We would be honored to have you visit the new http://www.QBQ.com site today! We all appreciate your making our little poshy spot again this year and thanks for reading. It’s a little cumbersome but we’re also online at: www.islandrail.sc Also thanks for the headsup on QBQ. rf

The Posh Rock Rail

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April -2009

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First Time Rail Reader? Great! We luv when that happens! From our ‘09 Winter Staff, The Supreme Masters of “Money’s Worth” Relaxed Living of the World, We’d Like to welcome Y’all to our little neighborhood..,

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Welcome Folks.., to one of the Low Country’s finest hours. If you don’t find something inside that moves you, there’s a very good chance that you may be dead. Otherwise, we’d like to welcome the good folks of.., Hilton Head, B’Town, Daufuskie, Moss Creek, Buckingham, Heritage Lakes, Colleton River, Sawmill Forest, Westbury park, Woodbridge, The Farm, Lake Linden and now Pineridge. Welcome, you’ve got Rail! – Rail staff 2009 –

April-2009

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em ok’it m

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Rail 2009 Staffers

InSide:

April -09-Spring Kicks

“The Couch Potato’s Tomatoes”

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COVER Credits: • Rail MAILBOX: R A N T S , R AV E S , M O A N S & G R O A N S pg. 5

Layout/Design ✼LM◗❊✹❊IP✬✒✳❊◗I

• THE SCHEME:: W / C A LV E R T U P D AT E - pg. 6 • LJ-6’S WORLD: System Tanks P 7

Regulars ✻✯❊❘❖PM❘ ✰✬❊❼✳✼M❚❚IP ❼✬✳❊◗I❼✳✭ ✽GGMPPM ❼✻✶❊LM❼ Guests & Ghosts ✵MPI✳❙I✶MG❖I✱MP❙❘ Creative License ✽❙❊PPL❙MI✏❍IM❑❘✏ ❚L❙❙❑❊❚L✡❍MM❋I Photography ✬❙❖✳❊◗I✏✵MI✱❋❊❘❍ ✡✬❊✶G✬❙✏✱✱M Distribution ✫✼G❊GL✡✵II✏✱✱M All letters re. E:mail-V:mailSnail:mail will be published unedited when submitted by the 25th of the month. HHRBS Publications PO Bx 6233, HHI-29938 E:mail: [email protected]

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Op Ed "A politician will never provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself" This administration has spoke of change but we opine that what they want desperately is to maintain the status quo. Forget "jobs". Forget "growth". Forget "financial stability". What they should be preparing us for individually is food, shelter, transportation and security. That most believe it debatable that it will ever get that bad is not to me personally, but everyone certainly has the right to feel that way. If you follow the econo-news then you know that there are no new houses/cars/household goods and appliances being produced. The US Auto Industry is shutting down as we speak. There's no need to produce things because no one's buying things. Any things. As result, you also know that thousands are losing their jobs every day and more and more empty houses are hitting a dormant market daily. Only a gullible TV bobblehead would refuse to address the irrefutable. I don't consider this to be a cynical outlook. That the system is crashing is clear and to totally discount this with tongue in cheek is much more cynical than viewing the future with starry eyes and hope. And finally, your home will be only as safe as you are willing to make it. rf

• STUFF/FYI: Cyber Scams- G E E K S & G A D G E T S pg. 10

• FILM: Simms sez Duplicity is Duping pg 14 • LOCAL BARS • LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY Pgs 18-19

• CONCERTS & SHOWS THIS MONTH

PG 22

• New Column: The Nightlife By Day

pg 17

• JAZZ TALES: Sippel Revisits w/ pg 20

• Neighborhoods/Child sex offenders

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•SPRING DOIN’S: F&A BEVERAGE:

PLUS: • Travel+Leisure recommended

✭❊❖✼❚❙ Nitelife News starts pg. 16

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RailTrail #6

The Scheme Of Things

✲➠❊PP❊❋❙ ❀❊✭❙❘✼❙L❙❏✽LI✸P➠✫❙❊❍✻MI By Roger Franklin

State Of The Media: Nitch By Roger Franklin, HHI We have been watching Mainstream Media bomb for several years now and have often pondered the notion as to how its steady decline would effect small, localized media vehicles such as the one you’re holding. Until recently its been just a matter of time before politically correct victim mongers like the NYT, Washington Post and our own McClatchey owned Island Packet started biting the bullet as these companies have been selling out to the liberals for years. And its been obvious for a while that the web would naturally have adverse effects and watching how the MSM’s lame attempts to offset such effects by way of cutting corners via hand-fed police reports, “news releases” and online editions in lieu of paying investigative reporters and staffers for hitting the streets has been synonymous to observing a long painful suicide. Just last month, we were made aware of a study by the PEW Foundation regarding the MSM decline and took the following excerpt from that study. “The decline in mainstream press has been nearly matched by a sharp growth among more narrowly focused special interest or “niche” media. The number of specialty newspapers, magazines and newsletters has risen by half since the mid-1980s.

Newsletters alone are up nearly twothirds. As the mainstream media have shrunk, a new sector of niche media has grown in its place, offering more specialized and detailed information than the general media to smaller, elite audiences, often built around narrowly targeted financial, lobbying and political interests. Some of these niche outlets are financed by an economic model of high-priced subscriptions, others by image advertising from local enterprise and big companies like defense contractors, oil companies and mobile phone alliances trying to influence policy makers. The shift from media aimed at a general public toward one serving more specialized and elite interests also comes as important parts of the federal government -- most notably arms of the executive branch -- have become more circumspect, more secretive, and more combative in their dealings with the MSM. As a result, the traditional -- and natural -- adversarial relationship between the media and the federal government has hardened perceptibly at a time when the mainstream Washington-based media have weakened. Symbolic of the state of this relationship, George W. Bush is the first president since Theodore Roosevelt not to address the National Press Club during his years in office. source: PEW (Project for Excellence in Journalism).

Gerwing’s Impossible Murders By C. James Pictured above is the note left anonymously on a WJCL news car the day Dennis Gerwing’s death was concluded a suicide. If there was anything to it, it struck us as odd that it was indeed left anonymously. Why? It couldn’t be someone involved, but rather someone that knew something and perhaps fearful of disclosure. Its just one more of a myriad of theories still swirling around these days, but just as plausible as what’s been “concluded”. As this one goes, (thank you TG) Gerwing was indeed embezzeling money and a third party discovered it and wanted his pound of flesh. Perhaps it was simple blackmail. Let’s further speculate that this

party had more to lose than Gerwing and fearing that Gerwing would give him up and he too would soon be exposed, elected to hire a professional killer. The flip-side is that perhaps Gerwing was being blackmailed for something entirely unknown and was stealing from the Calverts to pay the blackmailer. Regardless, that a 3rd party was involved is irrefutable. BC Sheriff PJ Tanner, when asked it there were other suspects in the Calverts dissappearance besides Gerwing, stated “not that we’re releasing”. This is a clear statement that there were, and likely still are, other suspects. As we stated in last month’s summary piece, the coroner’s report had Gerwing’s death occuring between 5 and 9 AM on March the 11th. The last person known to talk to Gerwing was his lawyer, either Charles A. Scarminach or Cory Flemming, when Gerwing called him the night before at 9:30pm to let him know where he would be staying. As far as we know, a lawyer was the only one who knew where he was. By 9:30 the following morning Gerwing was dead. The item left unaddressed was Gerwing’s activities during those 10 or so hours. Did he set his clock and go to bed so that he wouldn’t be late for his own demise? Of course we jest. The point being that this time frame is integral to what actually took place. Did it take a 3rd party all night to convince Gerwing that the best thing for him to do would be to take his own life? Maybe. Coming May: TWO IF BY SEA. THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY.

System Tanked Little Joe is more than just a little fearful of the way our American way is sinking. Most still believe that a total system collapse is quite far in the future but I don't happen to be one of them. Our Fed-State and Municipal Governments are broke now and all the Fed can think to do is to print more money. The more they print the less its worth. Our Governments are broke but while this trend continues to manifest itself the more it seems to be ignored. The proverbial writing is on the board and there's not an erasure in sight. Its becoming clearer that food, shelter, transportation and security will be the priorities of the not so distant future. This is not an attempt to predict, for total system collapse is well underway. There is nothing more useless than predictions once they've come true. This administration has spoke of change but what they want desperately is to maintain the status quo. Forget "jobs". Forget "growth". Forget "financial stability". What they should be preparing us for individually is food, shelter, transportation and security. That most believe it debatable that it will ever get that bad is not to me personally, but everyone certainly has the right to feel that way. If you believe the econo-news, and some of it is not a matter for debate, then you know that there are no new houses/cars/household goods and appliances being produced. The US Auto Industry is in the process of shutting down as we speak. There's no need to produce things because no one's buying things. Any things. As result, we all know that thousands are losing their jobs every day and more and more empty houses are hitting a dormant market daily as well. This is not argueable or debatable or a fear of what "might" be. Only a gullible TV bobble-head would refuse to address the irrefutable. We're all aware that as Counties and Municipalities run out of money, so will services such as police protection as jobs will have to be trimmed across the board. We also know that the 1000-plus US Military installations located in 130 Countrys around the world have begun to shut down, quietly, and as they return the Government will be unable to integrate them into civilian life. The US also has the highest prison population. Add the inmates that will be hitting the streets once the rest of the Country follows Florida,

6 Pack

South Carolina and California's lead, the end result will be a Country awash with various categories of armed men. Former soldiers, former police and former inmates all seeking a way to survive. One big happy family. And

The end result will be a Country awash with various categories of armed men. Former soldiers, former police and former inmates all seeking a way to survive. that's before the inclusion of the growing unemployed. The cooked books our Government is trying to feed us now doesn't mention the 20% unemployment during the great depression. We are on a straight course for that and there's no reason to think it will stop there. Add approximately 30 million unemployed to the untold numbers of the various categories of armed men, and whoever is left will be on their own. A person's home will be only as safe as he or she is prepared to make it. I don't consider this to be a cynical outlook. That the system is crashing is clear and to totally discount this with tongue in cheek is much more cynical than viewing the future with starry eyes and hope. Again, a total system collapse is well underway and the "bottom" that all the econo-gurus are predicting these days will likely become apparent only when it gets glaringly obvious that the system has already collapsed. When only a complete fool would try to paint it otherwise. So what are the options? We believe that there is only one option and that is to accept the situation as is and prepare yourself. The life as we've known it here is past tense. The future is dismal but perhaps not as much as it will be for those who have chosen blind faith and "hope".

The Rush Is On Like him of not, Rush seems to be the Rep’s sole crusader and Lil’ Joe thinks that they’re better off for it. Obama has named and identified him as one of his top rung adversaries and that’s a first in my memory. That a US President would announce publicly that a conservative talk show host should be ignored, tells me that Rush is feared by this administration and that plans are in the works to marginalize him if not silence him all together. Enter “The Fairness Doctrine”.

Next Shoe To Drop Little Joe doesn’t like to make predictions but occasionally something becomes so obvious it makes me wonder when no mentions are being made. I refer to the credit card crisis

that must be just over the horizon. According to the Federal Reserve, the total outstanding credit card debt carried by Americans reached a record $951 billion in 2008 -- a number that will only climb higher as more and more people reach for the plastic to make ends meet. What's more, roughly a third of that is debt held by risky borrowers with low credit ratings. Credit card defaults are on the rise and are expected to hit 10 percent this year. I got this from Bloomberg but nothing from MSM. This will obviously drive many banks closer to failing their stress tests -- but it will have an even greater impact on the lives of people who find themselves sinking deeper and deeper into debt. Scarey. lj6

Obama Bucks For You! A staff report nless you have been hiding under a rock, you've probably seen advertisements on how the government is giving away grants for almost any need. Need to pay medical bills or fix your busted old clunker of a car? No worries, there are free grants for that — at least according to the hundreds of Web sites currently populating the Web. "Obama's New Free Grants: Obama Is Giving Out Free Grants To Help Those in Need," reads one ad. "Government Grants Exposed: We've Tested 47 Grant Websites To Tell You Which Ones Really Pay!" exclaims another. Although government grant scams have been around almost as long as the government itself, the majority of the sites being advertised today didn't exist before the November 2008 election. According to the grant Web sites, Washington and President Obama are not only bailing out Wall Street, they will also gladly bail out you and everyone on your street — all in the form of free government grants. One of the hundreds of sites we visited was earncashfromgrants.com. According to their testimonials, people who have purchased the $1.00 Rapid Grants Solutions Kit have received grants for just about everything — even to fix their cars. But those in the know say it just ain't so.

U

We wondered just who might know the U.S. government so intimately that it had access to such closelyguarded get-a-grant secrets. We discovered that earncashfromgrants is the Internet property of — what else? — a Canadian company called 1021018 Alberta Ltd., an outfit that has already been sued by Microsoft and Symantec for software piracy. Go figure. Source: Consumer Affairs

Notice: HH Rugby Seeks Individuals interested in trying-out for the -08 HH Rugby Team should contact “Irish” Murphy @ 842 3448.

Geeks • Gadgets • Digital Goodies

EzVision By R. Mathis, HHI Why get headaches thinking what may the future bring us as you can feel the future today? The EzVision Video Eyewear gadget makes you travel through time to that cyber community future. This futuristic gadget represents new glasses with a weight of only 68g but with some spectacular features. First to start it you will have to plug it into your iPod video or into a portable video or DVD player if you wish to watch your movie in a breathtaking way, the same effect you may get when looking at a huge cinema screen.

Now you may watch movies in your bed without disturbing your sole mate’s sleep, you may watch it in the back seat of your car and even when traveling by bus, train, or airplane. It has a rechargeable battery that lasts up to 8 hours, a volume control, adaptors to connect iPods and DVD players. Has a resolution of 320*240, a 50 inch virtual screen to watch DVD, TV, videos from the video iPod and even play video games.

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spouse says to do something, then later claims they never said that, or just when you know that the person’s words are going to come back and bite them in the rear. You will be the one to capture it all and they’ll never know how. The lighter not only has a camera

$150 Online Only

Mathis’ Gadget of the month:

Spies Like Us If you’ve ever had a wish to become a super secret spy, then you’ll need this lighter to help you capture all of those super secret spy moments. Yes, I’m sure there are so many moments that come to mind, that you wish you’d have had a lighter with a hidden video camera and microphone. Be it when your boss or

Lighter DVR for spies like us!

that sees through the eagle’s eye and a built-in microphone, but the lighter itself works as well. The lighter features a USB port to keep it charged and a microSD slot. It also records 650 x 480 or QVGA in AVI format at 30 fps. On the down side though, you can’t just rush off and purchase this. They’re being sold online, but only in wholesale form. If you would like to create an army of spies though, you can pick these up in bulk for $150 each@ coolest-gadgets.com

Quote of the Month:

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"Socialism will never work because people want to own shit”. –Frank Zappa–

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REEL FLIX

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By Sara Simms, HHI Classic Film Quotes:

Duplicity

When all was black & white

Director: Tony Gilroy Screenwriter: Tony Gilroy Starring: Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Tom Wilkinson, Paul Giamatti, Rick Worthy Genre: Comedy, Romance, Thriller MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for language and some sexual content)

""Meet me at the bar! We'll drink breakfast together." T. Frothingill Bellows (W. C. Fields) -The Big Broadcast of 1938 (1937)

Lisa Gay Hamilton Genre: Drama MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for thematic elements, drug use and language)

Oscar winner Julia Roberts and Clive Owen reunite. From writer/dir Tony Gilroy (7 time Oscar nominated "Michael Clayton"). n the film, they star as spies-turned-corporate operatives in the midst of a clandestine love affair. When they find themselves embroiled in a highstakes espionage game, they discover the toughest part of the job is deciding how much to trust the one you love. CIA officer Claire Stenwick (Roberts) and MI6 agent Ray Koval (Owen) have left the world of government intelligence to cash in on the highly profitable cold war raging between two rival multinational corporations. Their mission? Secure the formula for a product that will bring a fortune to the company that patents it first. For their employers—industry titan Howard Tully (Tom Wilkinson) and buccaneer CEO Dick Garsik (Paul Giamatti)— nothing is out of bounds. But as the stakes rise, the mystery deepens and the tactics get dirtier,

I

The trickiest secret for Claire and Ray is their growing attraction and as they each try to stay one double-cross ahead, two career loners find their schemes endangered by the only thing they can't cheat their way out of: love. the trickiest secret for Claire and Ray is their growing attraction. And as they each try to stay one doublecross ahead, two career loners find their schemes endangered by the only thing they can't cheat their way out of: love.

Grins: If It Looks Too Good To Be True A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.' While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and theboy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son....'Go get your mother. Whoa!

Quick-Takes: Czura sez.., • See It • Go For The Ride

• Take A Hike • Get Out’a Town

The Horizon this month:

The Soloist Release Date: April 24, 2009 Studio: DreamWorks (Paramount) Director: Joe Wright Screenwriter: Susannah Grant Starring: Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., Catherine Keener, Tom Hollander,

Plot Summary: In "The Soloist," an emotionally soaring drama about the redemptive power of music, journalist Steve Lopez (Oscar nominee Robert Downey Jr.) discovers Nathaniel Anthony Ayers (Oscar winner Jamie Foxx), a former classical music prodigy, playing his violin on the streets of L.A. As Lopez endeavors to help the homeless man find his way back, a unique friendship is formed, one that transforms both their lives. "The Soloist" is directed by Joe Wright (Golden Globe winner for Best Drama and Oscar® nominee for Best Picture "Atonement")

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By Cork James

Some speculate that ‘09 will be a pivotal year for F&B destinations choosing to ignore the need to aggressivly address their competition. Regardless, for those who do it has to be a pleasure for patrons who consider the evening meal as the

Spring Kicks

2009 Chinese Year of The Ox More like a pissed off alligator

Still Standing With the US economy is seemingly tanking across the board including some spec that a total system collapse is inevitable there are some local business owners that see the scenario as opportunity and are making the moves most condusive to sustainability. While no one living seems to have much of a grip on what to do next and with this lame administration knowing little more than to print more money it stands to reason that finding opportunity in one of the current 4 states with unemployment above 10% is quite the challenge. The next few months will likely see the Island shedding a few more restaurants/bars with hospitality taxes due and business licenses due before June 1st.

Who’s Doin’/Not

Keeping It Fresh While no doubt a struggle the deflation all bar/restaurants are feeling these days has low and high-end menus alike becoming more scrutenized and those intent on weathering it all are creating ways to get people through the doors. Prana International continues to rule S-end weekend numbers thanks to aggresive marketing and the predominantly 18-30 dance lovers that return on a regular basis there. Prana International’s from square one success has established that not only can new clubs spring up and prove successful during economic down-

highlight of the day!

Elbows are bent to the human spirits that -with the help of a little libation- can always seem to find something to grin about. Last month’s nightlife treks found us making the local bars where the music plays and the F&B steal deals rule. Belated birthday grats are in order for Dry Dock regular “Fast” Eddie. No more birthdays for you bub. turns but that there are ample nightlife lovers willing to get out frequently and spend for a good time. (See pg 13) One Hot Mama’s has been ruling the Triangle’s local appeal thanks in part to aggressive marketing and the outside smoker’s bar there. Wise Guys continues to enjoy steady numbers there with good numbers week-nights and 30-45 minute waits on the week-ends. Monkey Business has the Nat’l Concert schedule back up and running with GM and former Monkey Biz DJ Mike Taylor enjoying a good turnoout for the Grand Reopening on Feb 21st and plans for a full weekly schedule during the Summer months. That the Shoreline’s concert schedule is growing steadily mean more Nat’l acts to choose from than ever.

While The Tavern has struggled all Winter the Spring shift finds all new and first time touring bands lined up and the Friday night open mic hosted by Tommy and Jeanelle continues to grow drawing some of the best local talent around and doing the most steady lunch numbers in Park Plaza has been a plus that will keep doors open throughout the Spring. (see pg 2) The Jazz Corner continues to rule live music venues Island-wide and as co-owner Bob Masteller continues to add and tweak the weekly stage performance schedules while dropping the cover for locals and adding a value minded late night menu has us believing that little will change the steady turnouts 7 nights there. The Wild Wing’s value formatted

menu and regular live music schedule is producing steady all you can eat lunch numbers and accentuated by good turnouts Thu-Sat for the no cover real music offerings there we have no doubt that the growing number of frugal minds will be the driver behind this spots continued success. Aunt Chilada’s frugal to high-end menu offering continues to draw steady lunch and happy hour numbers and as one of the S-ends most visible restaurants will sustain through the tougher times ahead via first time visitors and the steady local clientele there. As Twist The Bistro shifted formats to become the Island’s first “shot bar” locals have got to be loving the all new Two Dollar Bill’s now up and running there. 2$Bills features $2 wells, domestics and house vinos all day, 7 days a week. Murphy’s may be the most popular jock destination on the Island as good numbers of Rugby/Soccer players and fans alike huddle there Thursday-Saturday and with the walking distance convenience of the Forest Beach residents and dozens of near-by white collar workers the lunch, happy hour and dinner numbers continue to be steady. While The Sea Shack has been an economic indicator for several years and often reflects bridge market numbers on any given day the current era of deflation that’s taking its toll on all Island businesses is in evidence there but its doubtful that coowner/GM Gene Baldwin will be coming out of pocket any time soon. Remy’s has been offering more value-minded lunch, happy hour and dinner hour deals there and with the

•Chow• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •Live Music• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •NiteLifeNewz• real music 5 nights weekly will likely be able to eke out ends that meet this year. PB Sunrise Cafe has ruled the breakfast hours Island-wide for years now and we see little change throughout the Winter months there as PBSC continues to attract the lion’s share of

pg 17

MMA Coming to Shoreline The Nightlife by Day

Sign of The Times

Cage fight fans will be pleased to know that bringing mixed martial art events are in the works at Shoreline Ballroom. More as it comes.

Prana’s Portent Though the economy continues to tank there are signs that portend a demographic seemingly less effected as evidenced by the numbers of this new spot. Utilizing an array of entertainment offerings 7 nights a week. Prana International continues to offer unique concepts found nowhere South of The Broad. (see pg 13 for the latest mid-week activities) the breakfast/brunch locals seeking variety and prompt in and out access. Cap’n Woody’s continues to do steady lunch and good happy hour numbers and accentuated by the outdoor dining and water-side Hurricane Bar will be doing festive numbers on nice days on into the Spring there and Capt’n Russels fishing news will be coming soon. The Zone is the N-ends hottest spot currently and we have to believe that

Station 70 B’Town’s New Star While Bluffton has several local haunts doing good numbers these days the new Station 70 continues to make steady strides as owner MariRene and staff work it for all its worth with drink deals and a regular live music offering there. This month: Sloppy Seconds (2nd Saturday's every month) Silicone Sister April 11 April 10 Murmur Rem Tribute band April 18 Souls Harbor April 24 Liquid Ginger

C h a v el l e

Friday, April 24 @ The Shoreline Ballroom

✭MMIP❊❘❍ ✳❊ The Dixieland Jazz Society jams the last Sunday of every month @ The Jazz Corner from 3-5pm.

FREE the billiards room and successful concerts at the Shoreline Ballroom just across the hall are adding to this small sport’s bars popularity. The Lodges’ cool weather motif, nightly drink deals and free pool offering helps to keep numbers steady this time of year and with Tini Night Tuesdays and the bartender competitions coming to a head on thursdays should continue to keep good crowd on through the Spring. Kurama’s long time local sushi loving clientele and table-side Chef entertainment combines to keep numbers steady there and we see this as one of the Island’s few Japanese restaurants sustaining by year’s end.

$2 Dollar Bills A shot bar on Hilton Head is not only a unique offering but one that puts out wells, domestic beers and house vinos for #2, every day, all day is unheard of but that what’s happening at the old Moneypennies location.

April 13 to April 19, 2009: The Verizon Heritage of Golf PGA tournament. Ticket are now on sale 800-234-1107.

✭❊❖✼❚❙ •No ad-driven BS Guides to Live Music nightly ✭❊❖✼❚❙ days while Tavern On The Park late with Tommy Simms open mic gets fair crowds and with Spare Parts alternating w/Martin Lesch Trio at Remy’s will likely make for 3 of the most locals frequented Friday nite live music destinations. The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm and B’Town’s all new Station 70-formerly One Hot Mama’s will feature live bands all month. The Simpsons at the Hilton XO and the Wild WIng will keep regional bands -see display ad back cover- and continues to offer some of the best local/regional entertainment.

Day Weeks Music, Wine, Food & Bodies (Not Ad Driven/UpDated Mar 25-09)

HH Islander’s of 10 years or less may not recall weeknights when finding a jumpin’good, fun lovin’ scene on any given night could mean a road trip. During the mid-80’s to early ninties little was happening with any regularity throughout the peak season to speak of, pitiful actually, and short of a half dozen or so guitar solo’s doing a predominant tourista formatted, slowhand Jimmy Buffet routine, festive week-end only dark spots like The Golden Rose, The Crows Nest --now The Marriott Grand Ocean on SFB-Scarlet O’Hara’s -now the Hilton XO- The Old Post Office -now Adelphia Cable Co on Pope- Jim’s Paradise -now Mezzaluna, and Remy’s were just about all of the offseaon options there were.

Monday:

Slim pickin’s this month but The Jazz Corner’s new Blues

Competition at the Island’s dozen or so local’s hangs is heating up and it’s all about the steal deal F&B, who’s cooking and who’s on the sage. Tribute is picking up steam there and Hinchey’s local fave sax-man/entertainer Earl Williams goes til 4 am.

Tuesdays: One Hot Mama’s is hosting 16 yo Sara Burns from 6:30 to 9:30 there and The Jazz Corner’s all new line-up featuring Martin Lesch and the Multi-Jazz Quintet is breathing new life to early week-day offerings. Craig Coyne goes unplugged at Remy’s and On the mainland it’s now Station 70 with GAME NITE featuring Wii, Corn Hole and Beer Pong. accentuated by $3 Olive Vodkas there. Wednesdays: Early on 8-midnight at the Jazz Corner alternating

Bobby Ryder with Earl Williams will continue to be a popular local 8 to midnight destination and its the The Coyne Band Trio now at Remy’s around 10pm.

Thursdays: Prana International brings in diverse talent from around 10 on this month and Spare Parts with a newly formed 3 pc. will be replacing MArtin Lesch @ Remy’s as the The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm. Sterling & Schuvette have return to the Electric Piano 9-midnight there.

Friday’s: is of course the SOTB’s hottest real music night and Prana International rules the roost these

Saturday’s: will offer more diversity than ever this Spring as Remy’s will maintain the latest Spare Parts around 10 w/Coyne & Lesch. The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm. and with the Simpsons at the new XO Sat night crowds should be brisk this Winter. On the mainland Station 70-formerly One Hot Mama’s will feature live bands all month. Sunday’s: may not be the slackest day of the week for live music this Winter beginning early with Jessie Watkins @ Brick Oven. Late nite atmospheres such as Hinchey’s Chi Bar ‘round midnight featuring alternating soloists Mike Kavanaugh and Reid Richmond and no doubt The Jazz Corner’s Sunday nite doin’s with Deas Guys will continue to be the hottest Sunday might destination throughout the Spring.

•Music• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •Concerts• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •Local Bars• Local Bar UpDates: Mar-09

LocalBars Located via 278 Mile Markers

Traditionally, a genuine Island local bar was characterized by peaked bottom lines during the off-months and reflecting the year's slowest as May thru August. However this year’s recession atmosphere has most posting weaker #’s and as many longtime residents tend to stay closer to the house during the warm months citing the crowds, the traffic, awful drivers etc. this Summer’s pump pain is shaping up to be the slowest in many years. As the N-end’s latest The Zone located at Beach and Tennis is one of a handful doing steady numbers along w/the heavy boosts from the new Shoreline’s concert nights is combining for some of the better local bar numbers Island-wide. Happy Hour offerings 4-8 as well as 10-2am features $1.50 house drafts, $2.00 Rum and Vodkas, and daily 1/2 price appetizers running daily from 4-8pm there. Go 278 from either direction and take the turn @ Folly Field Rd-3 blocks to Beach & Tennis & (R) w/eyes (L) Remy’s has no doubt reestablished itself and long time Islanders are taking to the new diggs very well. Maintaining consistency from the meat and 3 lunch offering, a $5 happy hour menu offering and regularly scheduled live music Tues-Saturday nights there. From the seapines circle take Pope ave & go (L)@ lagoon Rd. w/a quick (L) @ 1st drive past the bike shop to the end with eye’s straight ahead. Park Plaza’s Tavern On The Park maintains a regular post shift F&B destination due to a consistant menu and when the live music plays Fridays there. From any approach take the SeaPines circle to Greenwood Drive to the 1st street and L to 2nd Park Plaza entrance w/eyes straight ahead. While The Lodge was initially formatted and generally most frequented during the off-season’s cooler months this cozy Barmuda Triangle nightlife destination has over the past few years acquired such a substantial reg-

Long time tender Doug Looney surfaces and re-enters the local bar scene at Tavern on The Park. ular clientele base that year’round local bar status has become apparent. From any approach take the SeaPines circle to Greenwood Drive to first (L) w/eyes (R) w/entrance behind Reilley’s-S. The Wild Wing Cafe continues to be one of the S-end’s hotter local spots featuring live entertainment Wed-Fri-Sat & Sun accentuated by the Island’s most frugal minded menu, -never a cover-. (see back cover) 278 to Seapine's circle and 3/4's around to Pope Avenue, go half mile to circle center complex w/ eyes R. Say hello to Brian Corey behind the bar there. Hinchey's Chi Bar is one of the South-end working local's fave wee hour destinations featuring the real music from around midnight on Thur and Sunday nights there. Take Seapines circle to Pope Ave, go to the end re. Coligny Circle and 3/4's around with an immediate right at the first drive for convenient underground parking. The Frosty Frog now in a 7th year has recently reached local bar status and much like the Earl’s annual Summer/Tourista to off-season/locals transition caters to a mid-aged group early and the 21-25 set post midnight there.Take SP circle down Pope Ave and (L) on Lagoon & (R) @ 3rd driveway. Eyes straight ahead OK for parking@ Nash Drugs after 7pm. The Drydock has over the past 14 years become one of the North-eastern transplanted local's regular destinations and home away from home for many NY Yankee fans. The Dock’s frugal minded lunch and

Sunday Pig roasts will run throughout the Winter there. 278 to Seapine's circle and 3/4's around to Pope Avenue and left at the 2nd street re. Pope Ave Executive Park w/eye's R. While Aunt Chilada’s long time year’round gathering gets interrupted during the warm season this bar nevertheless has a loyal patronage envied by most Irish and Sport’s bar formats due to the 4-7 happy hour and all the action taking place during NFL and MLB seasons. Take SP circle to Pope Ave and U-turn @ Lagoon & 2 blks w/eyes (R). Callahan’s Featuring a money’s worth median priced lunch and brisk 4-7pm happy hour Callahan’s casual dinner offerings ranging from $6 to $10 and post midnight burgers and finger food makes this long-time local’s destination one of the most popular year’round. Pass MM #10 & left on New Orleans and 1/2 mile w/ eye’s left.

Adult Doin’s Thee Diamond Club has been an integral part of the nightlife of Hilton Head Island for the past six years and as the only competitor in adult nightlife re. Club Paradise closeddoors permanently in July TDC is once again the only game in town. The beautiful women that this popular adult gentleman’s club attracts have wowed anyone who is an island native or a frequent yearly visitor. All of these beau-

pg 19 No ad-driven BS Guide Updated Mar 25th

Steal Deals Abound F&B steal deals are more scrutenized than ever. Not only by the skimping family units, college students and week-end warriors, but working year’rounds and the savvy bar/restaurant owners that are wisely addressing their competition. Ck out a few of our nightly faves. • Sundays @ B’Town’s new Station 70-$2 Bloody Marys all day &.25¢ drafts@Prana “‘til it’s gone”. • Monday’s@Hinchey’s-$2 Beam and @ Wise Guys it’s 2 fer1 small plates for F&B staffers only after 8p. The Jazz Corner’s new Blues Tribute Monday offers $3 domestic brews and $4 house liquor & wine. •Tuesdays @The Lodge-$2 Tini Night and Trinities’ $1 pitchers of MHL • Weds@ Trinity for $1 wells • Thurs $1 Vodkas @ Wild Wing, and also at Prana. NEW: Two Dollar Bills now offers wells. vinos and domestics for $2 every day, all day long there. Prana offers 50¢ drafts daily tiful women are dancing all night for your pleasure and enjoyment. The gowns are stunning. These ladies know how to dress to impress. They all know how to treat a gentleman. Have a drink with a southern belle or an exotic princess. Located on Dunnagan’s Alley @ Palmetto Bay near the Seapines Circle. Say hey to John Laney & Mom.

Coming May

C h a v el l e

Friday, April 24 @ The Shoreline Ballroom

Jam Nights

Open Stage &

• Monday Nights @Station 70 • Thursday Nights @ The Zone •Friday Nights @ The Tavern On The Park

The Simpson Brothers @ the new XO Lounge Wed-Sat

ARTS & DOWNTIME April @ The

From the Cradle

✽❊❑I

✽LI✫❊❘❍

For the blues/jazz’d confused By John Sippel

Bio: Hilton Head, SC

Stan Getz Stanley Gayetzky or Stanley Gayetsky, usually known as "The Sound" because of his warm, lyrical tone, Getz's prime influence was the mellow tone of his idol, Lester Young. Stan Getz was born on February 2, 1927 in Philadelphia. His parents were Ukrainian Jews who immigrated from the Kiev area in the Ukraine in 1903. The family later moved to New York City for better jobs. Stan's major interest was in musical instruments, and he felt a need to play every instrument in his sight. He played a number of instruments before his father bought him his first saxophone at the age of 13. Stan instantly fell in love with the saxophone and began practicing 8 hours a day. He eventually dropped out of school in order to pursue his musical career, but was later sent back to the classroom by the school system’s truancy officers. In 1943, he went with Jack Teagarden's band, and because of his youth became Teagarden's ward. Getz also played along with Nat King Cole and Lionel Hampton. After playing for Stan Kenton, Jimmy Dorsey, and Benny Goodman, Getz was a soloist with Woody Herman from 1947

to 1949. With Herman, he had a hit with "Early Autumn" and after Getz left 'The Second Herd' he was able to launch his solo career.

Getz became involved with drugs and alcohol while a teenager. In 1954, he was arrested for attempting to rob a pharmacy to get a morphine fix. Getz became involved with drugs and alcohol while a teenager. In 1954, he was arrested for attempting to rob a pharmacy to get a morphine fix. In the final stages of his life Getz was able to end his addictions. Getz died of liver cancer in 1991. His body was cremated and the ashes scattered at sea, off the coast of Malibu, California. In 1986, he was inducted into the Down Beat Jazz Hall of Fame.

2nd- Villa Nova 3rd- Mister Fernando 4th- Bonepony 9th- Permanent Tourist 10th- Loose Chain 11th- Lundy 16th- The Design, formerly Sugar 17th- Silicone Sister 18th- Mighty McFly 23rd- Deas Guyz 24th- Milhouse 25th- Civic Desire 30th- Gary Pfaff & the Heartwells

Kingfisher on Wed Signals@Crowne Plaza Thur-7-10pm Fri & Sat 8-12:30 @ The Mezzaluna

FEB@

Tavern

B’Town 4th- Quiana Parler 11th- Sun Domingo 18th- Pop Machine, featuring Becky of the Fresh Hots 25th- Silicone Sister

On The Park • Friday’s open mic w/

April

@

Wednesday :Craig Coyen Thursday: Martin Lesch Fridays : Craig Coyne Saturday : Spare Parts

Jeanelle & Tommy

Blues Tribute April @ Monkey Biz

Thurs in April

Wednesday April 15th Lost In The Media Thursday April 16th Jupiter Coyote (Full Band)

Live National/Local Bands Full Pitchers of Long Island Ice Tea for $9.75 No Cover With Local ID

April 2009

Tues & Sat Nights @ Remy’s

The Spare Parts

Mon nights @ The Jazz Corner featuring Martin Lesch, Whitney Deputy, Chris Russell & C Williams

Mike Kavanaugh Thur Nights @ Hinchey’s ‘round Midnight

Sun’s @

Jessie Watkins

B r i c k O v e n

Reid Richmond

Tuesdays @ Wild Wing B’Town

Sun@ Hinchey’s ‘round Midnight

Sat, April 18th

✵❊❙❘I✡✵❙MI

Thursday nights this month @ The Jazz Corner, HHI

✼IPM❘✡ ✼GLII Back this month on Thursday, Feb 25 @ The Electric Piano

3 to 5 p

Deas Guys Sundays nights this month @ The Jazz Corner-HHi

Rail Trail #22

Know Your Neighbors? Okay, here's the deal... go to this link and near the bottom left, it has a "Click Here" button... click on it and enter your address... it will show your neighborhood and a tiny "house", that's yours... all the little colored boxes are Sex Offenders... click on them and get his/her name & picture along with the crime

http://www12.familywatchdog.us/

Rail’s Community Series re.

Parental Alerts

Offender Information SLED is currently undergoing program changes to the Sex Offender System. If you feel the information is incorrect, please contact the Sheriff’s Department in the county in which the sex offender is registered or SLED Sex Offender Registry at (803) 896-1440. Name: HAMMETT, SCOTT G Sexual Predator: No Ht: 6' 01" Wt: 240 lbs. Eyes: Green• Hair Color: Partially Gray Skin Tone: Light Address: 5 GUMTREE ROAD APT I33 HILTON HEAD ISLAND SC 29926 Status: Residence Criminal Charges: Statute: 18 USC SEC 2252 A (A)(5)(B) Date of Conviction: 2005-02-28 Literal: POSSESSION OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY Sentence Release Date: 2007-08-09 Offense: Statute: 18 USC 2252 Date of Conviction: 2005-02-28 Literal: SENDING AND RECEIVING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY State of Conviction: SC Additional Identifiers Name(s): HAMMETT, SCOTT HAMMETT, SCOTT G HAMMETT, SCOTT GRANT Registration Information Type of Registering Agency: SO

the tradition continues.

Proud Sponsor of th ClubXV Hospitality e Tent!

when the sun goes down on

the heritage, the night

lights up

at the wing! HHI - Heritage Week Line-Up! 4.16 Thursday - Sugar • Friday - Silicone Sister Saturday Night Live - with Mighty McFly Bluffton - Heritage Week Line-Up! 4.16 Thursday - Karaoke • Friday - B-Twon Players Saturday - Pop Machine feat. Becky of the Fresh Hots HHI • 72 Pope Ave. • 785-WING ◆ Bluffton • 1188 Fording Island Rd. (278) • 837-WILD ◆ wildwingcafe.com