Apocalypse Now2

Characters: 1. Death – dressed in a dark robe, with the reaper's sickle. Face and arms are pale. (Sai Naresh) 2. War – dressed like a modern commando. (Krisnha Mohan) 3. Famine – stout person. Dressed in casuals and having a burger in one hand and chips in other (Ramya) 4. Pestilence – think and sickly person. Wrapped in bandages and rags. (Avanthi) 5. Seer – 500 year old woman. Wears white robe, has white hair, walks bent back. (Nabeela) 6. Luggage – part dog, part ox and part human. Has wild hair, horns and a tail. Walks on all 4. (Anirudh) 7. Miss Spell – a “wich”. Quite clumsy. Has completed 7 years in Frogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry (unfortunately, all 7 were in 1st year) (Lavanya) 8. Sir Alfred Pennyson – The Brave Knight. A forgetful poet who has been knighted by the queen. Wears full plate armor, minus the pants. (Sandeep) 9. Bubel – The Warrior – 100th son of the 100th wife of Cohan the Barbarian. Hates fighting and loves ballet dance. “Volunteered” because his father forced him. (Rajesh) Scene 1: Apocalypse approaches Seer is in one corner of the stage, hidden in shadows but looking into her crystal ball. Enter: Death, famine, pestilence and war. Sinister music – scary but slow. (behind the narration) Death: Finally! Centuries of waiting and preparation has come to conclusion. The Devil has opened the portals of hell and we walk the earth delivering destruction and preparing for the Apocalypse. War: Oh sweet air, oh gentle breeze. It won't be long before you are fouled with poisons of war. How I long for the shrieks of agony and the stench of corpses! Famine: Hunger! I hunger for the rich bounty of this earth. Let me see how long the ripe fruits last and how deep the wells really are. By the time I'm done, there will be nothing but barren land and salty pools left. And then, the rest of the world will hunger with me. Pestilence: cough. And those I touch will wither and suffer. What I have in my arsenal, in my sick rotten veins, shall corrupt every soul. Oh they'll wish they can scream. But I won't let them. They'll moan and groan, hungry but unable to eat, hot but shivering.. cough.. They'll wish they were dead. Death: And I will let them die.. if I like it. I'll take the lover and leave the other bereaved. I 'll take the parents and orphan the child. Together we shall wreak chaos upon the earth! Death, War, Famine and Pestilence – the mightiest of the Devil's agents, we shall declare to the world “The Apocalypse is Now!” Drums etc to indicate the arriving war. Death, war, famine and pestilence exit the stage. The Seer comes out of the shadows! Seer: My worst fears have come true. What did they say? Ah, yes. “The Apocalypse is Now!” Oh, no! What do I do?!? I am too old. 500 years have I lived, preparing for this day and yet I have nothing.. Lugage..!!! Where are you Luggage...!!! You lousy flea ridden burden on my shoulders..!! Luggage..!!

Enters Luggage. Luggage: Yes mistress..! I'm here mistress..! Don't curse me, I'll do what you want. I'm your faithful dog aren't I mistress? Seer: Only 1/3rd of it! The rest of you is a lazy ox and a crazy man! Now, what was I thinking? Oh yes. We need to prepare Luggage. We need our brave warriors, our Triangle of Light. We may already be too late, but I suppose things can be done a little more quickly in this modern world. Luggage..!! Quit goofing around and listen to me. (Luggage stops eating the chair and stares at the Seer). Send out summons to all the leaders of the world. We need the bravest Knight, a powerful magician and a great warrior of mighty descent. Go. Send the Summons! Seer chases Luggage out and exits herself. End of Scene 1. Scene 2: The Call to Arms Seer is on the stage, gazing into her crystal ball. Enters Pennyson. Seer: Who the heck are you? Pennyson: Much have I seen and known, cities of men and manners and councils, beauties and beasts Myself not the least, but pettier than that. Vexing one and all, I am become a name. Seer: What the dickens was that?!!? Did anyone understand what he said? Can you tell me in plain human, who you are and why you are here. Pennyson: I aged ancient, am named Sir Alfred Pennyson. I am here in answer to your summons, for the post of the brave knight. Seer: You! Brave Knight! You cant even wear your breeches properly and you seek to fight the Devil's minions? You are not qualified. Pennyson: I meet all the criteria you set. I have been knighted by her majest, Queen Elizabeth. I am brave – I faced cut-throat publishers and scurvy editors to get my poems published. As far as combat experience goes, I may be a little green, but I have had my share facing lynching mobs and angry students. Enters Bubel pirouetting across the room. Bubel: Why, you are a brave knight Sir! How did you manage to survive those vicious students? I'm sure they must have mutilated all your beautiful poems! Pennyson: Oh, pity thy.... Seer: Hold it right there..! Who are you? I didn't ask for any performing circus! At least not in this

century! Get out of here right now, and don't you dare make this mad knight spout any more poems! Bubel: I am Bubel, the 100th son of the 100th wife of the great and mighty Cohan the Barbarian. My father sent me here to volunteer for the Warrior post. I don't like it. I would rather join the great russian ballet performing for the French president. But my father said he'll marry my girlfriend if I don't come here. So here I am. Seer: God help me! I hope the magician at least turns out to be competent. Enter Ms. Spell. Ms. Spell: Oh, I'm competent all right. I completed 7 years at the Frogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Seer: Thank God. Some ray of hope at last! Spell: Whispers to Pennyson - Well, I don't need to tell her that all 7 years were spent as a 1st year student do I?? Pennyson: What! Seer: What what? Speak up boy! If it is something important, I would like to know. Pennyson: This lady bright, hath wits of wind, howling and raving but substance nil. Rack her out with straps of steel, to keep her off my mighty gray. Seer: I get it! You were praising her! Enough with the romance now, lets get to work. Luggage!! Get my book of prophecy will you? Spell: Luggage..! What a funny name! Luggage: Grrr... Seer: Luggage! Stop it this instant or you don't get to eat any food for the next two days! Luggage: Mean person..! Let me bite mean person! Seer: No. And let me have that book now! Its so difficult to get reliable help now a days... Ah now here is the prophecy! “When a bat hangs from a ripe apple, taking a rest for the bright day. When the apple bursts falling to earth, down goes the bat swooping to hell. Clumsy little bat leaves the door open, and out come the demons” Spell: You call that a prophecy? It doesn't even qualify for a joke! Seer: Well, its as good as it gets and I have seen it happen. So don't argue with me. My work is prophecy and your work is defending against those demons. You can do your magicking, you can... mm.. do your war dance or what ever.. and you... I don't know what you can do.. Pennyson: Haven't you heard that the pen is mightier than the sword? And I am the mightiest of the pens. I am Sir Pennyson!

Seer: Right.... I'm sure that will help you somehow.. End of Scene 2. Scene 3: The Apocalypse Pestilence: cough.. Can't we stop for a while? I'm so tired..! Have you no concern for my wheezing lungs and crumbling bones? Famine: Yes we should..! Lets stop here and have a lunch break. War: But we already had lunch! Twice..! Famine: Well, there's no harm in eating a little more. It will keep us prepared for whatever resistance this pitiful world will send against us. Enter Pennyson, Spell and Bubel. Death: Resistance! Bah..! What chance do they have against us? Haven't you noticed the kind of people we came across so far? Couch potatoes and button pushers. They will never be able to stop us! War: And to imagine the kind of tests and training we had to go through before Satan selected us for these posts... Spell: Guys, I think they're talking about us... Why don't you go and do something? Protect this young lady? Bubel: You're the witch! Why don't you do something? Turn them into toads maybe? Pennyson: Jiggered will I be if she... Bubel: Please..!! No more poems.. talk normally, I beg u...! Pennyson: Pfff... what has the world come to..! There is no one who appreciates true art! Spell: Cut the melodrama too. Pennyson: I was about to say that I'll be surprised if she does anything at all. Forget the demons, if she can transform a tadpole into a frog, I'll go dance with death over there. Spell: Tadpole... hmm.. aren't they something like mushrooms? I like mushroom stew, and I don't like frog legs that much. So I won't do it! Pennyson: See what I mean? Bubel: We have to do something to stop them..! Death: Shhh... did you hear that? I think someone is sneaking behind us over there..

Spell: They found us! Run! War: Hold it right there! Bubel: Please don't hurt us sir! I did not even want to be here. My father thinks I should be a hero and forced me to come here. I'm sure you are the mightiest of all demons sir. You don't need to kill some pitiful person like me. War: Hahahahaha..! And these scared mice are the mighty triangle of light! At this rate, I the mightiest demon of Satan alone can clean up the earth in no time. Death: So you think you're greater than me do you? Raises the sickle to kill Pennyson. Pennyson:

Oh mighty lord, grim reaper death you are the leader for all that should end. What beauty your work, more than war or disease Ending a life with the song of death.

Death: I like this guy. He has class! Famine: He did not even mention me. He thinks I'm not even worth a word in his stupid poem! Pestilence: Well, all you do is eat. How can that be great? Famine: I'll show you. I'm going to eat this stupid clown here! Spell: Oh, don't. Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on the top? Famine: And what good is that? I like the cherries, but I can't eat the 'please'. Spell: Alright, don't eat me! I'll magically produce all the burgers you want! Pulls out a burger from the hat... Pestilence: I'm gonna give her a stomachache..! The worst case of diarrhea hell has ever seen! I'm sick of watching her eat all the time! War: Aren't you sick all the time? Pestilence waves her hands and does a limping jig. And Famine holds her stomach and starts running around. Famine: I'm going home.. I hate u guys..! Exits Famine. Death: Now we can finish the apocalypse much faster! Pestilence: This guy looks healthy! I'll take away his health. Cancer maybe? Hmm.. Epilepsy?

Death: Stop! He's under my protection! War: They are the enemy. You shouldn't be protecting them! Spell: I think you should take what you want. Don't let that anemic man there boss you around. You are much stronger. Death: Who are you calling anemic? You'll know who is anemic once you feel the cold of death. Bubel: Oh sir. How mean that man is being to you. You poor soul. Let us dance away and leave them to their petty squabbles.. won't you come with me sir? War: Ahem.. I think I can sort this out. Death! You are crossing your limits. Lets fight this out right here and now. Lets see who is the strongest! Pestilence: Oh, this is going to be fun. Spell: Who do you bet on? Pestilence: Oh, I don't know. I wish we were in hell, so I could sell tickets to the demons and make money! It would have been the show of the millennium. Spell: Too bad. Here.. have this.. Pestilence: Thanks... Munch. Munch.. What is it? Spell: Aspirin Pestilence: Aaahhhhh..!!! you poisoned me.. you witch!!! aaaahhhh..!!! Satan: (voice from behind the stage) Enough with this nonsense..! War: That voice is awfully familiar! Satan: Of course it is. I'm Satan! And you will be hearing this voice for the next thousand years in the pits of Hell. Get your sorry asses back here! Death: Oh NO!!!!