A Life Never Lived - Clark Palmer

Clark Palmer [email protected]

about 6,000 words

A Life Never Lived by Clark Palmer

Andy gripped the .45 a little too tightly, making his knuckles even paler than the rest of his skin.

The

unfamiliar weight of the modified gun strained his triceps, silently encouraging the voice in his head that told him to leave before it was too late. With his back against the kitchen counter, Andy leaned into the hallway separating the kitchen from the living and dining rooms.

He saw Michael Ellis standing next to a dark

green, plush chair which matched the plush chair on the other side of a couch of the same color.

Ellis was sipping

from his coffee mug and watching the World News Network. Everything was exactly as Andy remembered it, from the plasma computer screen hanging from the wall between the two wood towers, to the rectangular, glass coffee table supported by a finely crafted metal frame.

It looked the

way someone who had never been inside an upper-middle class house in Boston would expect it to look. For a moment, Andy didn’t see Ellis.

He saw Matt and

Kevin playing with new toys on Christmas morning or sitting on the couch watching a new animated movie.

He saw Ellis’

friends sitting in the dark green chairs having coffee and dessert. Andy caught the faint smell of scented candles, whose flowery scents lingered a few days after Ellis’ wife lit them.

He remembered the smell of freshly brewed coffee

wafting up Ellis’ nostrils when he woke up on Sunday mornings.

For those few moments, Andy felt like he was

home. He leaned away and stared at the sliding glass door and the backyard beyond.

It was still an escape route.

An

ice cold bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face and he quickly wiped it away with his jacket sleeve, which made a soft scratching noise against the sandpaper-like stubble on his cheek. There’s no other way...except...Andy pushed the thought away.

It was a last resort.

Even if he could go

through with it, he’d only seriously consider it if Ellis decided not to help him. He took a deep breath, released it, and walked into

Palmer / A Life / 3 the living room, making sure the wood floor buckled loudly beneath his feet. “Christ! You scared...”

Ellis turned around and froze

when he saw a pale, haggard version of his face staring back at him. Andy saw his mental image of himself.

For a few

seconds, he could feel every hair on his arms and the back of his neck and every inch of his face as he was overcome with trepidation. Ellis and Andy broke eye contact and looked in opposite directions, almost like two friends who saw each other for the first time after a heated argument. didn’t know what to say.

They

They both rubbed the bottom of

their palms with their fingertips. Finally, Andy broke the silence. didn’t mean to scare you.” direction.

“I’m sorry.

I

He looked in the other

“And I’m sorry for sneaking in.

I just wanted

to make sure you’d talk to me.” “OK,” Ellis didn’t look up when he spoke.

“Then

what’s the gun for?” Andy quickly took his right index finger off the trigger and raised the .45 and his free hand.

He looked at

Ellis’ face but Ellis didn’t make eye contact.

“I just...I

don’t want you calling the police or anything.

I just

wanna sit down and talk.

I’m not gonna shoot you.”

“I’m gonna put the gun away and I’m gonna sit right there,”

Andy said, then turned his head to look at the

green chair.

He clicked the safety on the .45 and slid it

into the back of his pants.

“Why don’t you sit on the

couch?” Ellis turned and sat down on the middle of the couch. He put his hands together then thought better of it and rested them on his lap.

He looked like a teenager who

dreaded what his parents were going to do to him for breaking one of the house rules. Andy slowly walked to the chair and sat down.

He

rubbed the bottom of his right palm with his fingertips for a few seconds then stopped and quickly rubbed the sweat from his palm onto his jeans. He noticed the blinds on both windows on the other side of the room were open and the corner of his mouth curled up in a brief smile. firmly.

“Blinds?

Close,” he said

He wanted to enjoy the natural light shining

through the windows and bouncing off the angles on the coffee table and the glass of the picture frames for a little longer.

But he knew he couldn’t be seen by any of

Ellis’ neighbors. Andy turned to the computer screen on which a WNN news

Palmer / A Life / 5 anchor was reporting the day’s headlines.

“B28J94.

Off.”

The screen went dark. He looked at Ellis, whose eyes were focused on the coffee table, then at the floor. “It’s amazing isn’t it?

It feels like I’ve done that

a thousand times...but that was actually the first.” Andy looked at the dark-wood dining room table on the other side of the house then back at the towers and the furniture in the living room.

“So many memories in this

place.” “I’ve wanted to come here ever since I left the cloning facility a year ago.” Andy pointed at Ellis.

“Didn’t you...” he trailed off

when he saw the coffee mug on the table, next to a key ring and Ellis’ cell phone.

He pointed at it.

Ellis eyed him curiously.

“Do you mind?”

“Sure.”

Andy put the mug under his nose and sniffed.

He

closed his eyes while his nose deciphered the smell of the coffee.

He took a sip from it and rolled the coffee around

on his tongue.

He kept it in his mouth for a couple

seconds before swallowing it.

It was sweet but not too

sweet; strong but not so strong that it was bitter.

Andy

realized that the coffee itself wasn’t that great, he just appreciated the fact that it was so familiar to him.

“Just the way I remember it.”

He set the mug back

down on the coffee table. “Sorry.

I’m just taking everything in.

I’m home,” he sighed as he spoke.

I feel like

“Finally.”

“I guess you’re wondering why I’m here.” his mouth tightly.

Andy closed

“There’s no easy way to get into this.

I need your help.” “My name’s Andy by the way.

How rude of me to break

into your house and not even introduce myself.” He leaned back in his chair. place.

Well, this place.

basically.

I’ve tried.”

very slowly.

“I can’t let go of this

My memories.

Your life

His eyes widened and he spoke

“I’ve tried really hard.”

Andy turned to Ellis, who was content to not make eye contact.

“But I might be able to let go if I could say

goodbye to it on my own terms.” For a moment, it seemed like he could feel every hair on his body.

He bit his lip for a second before he spoke.

“I wanna live your life for a week.” Ellis looked up and turned to Andy.

“What do you

mean?” Andy leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. He stared at the floor. week.”

“Well...I mean...be you for a

He couldn’t bring himself to layout everything that

Palmer / A Life / 7 meant. Ellis looked like he ate something that didn’t agree with his stomach and it was just starting to make him sick. “What if I say no?” Andy looked down and put his forehead between his thumb and fingers. he mumbled. widened.

“I’m not gonna force you to say ‘Yes,’”

“I know it’s a big favor to ask,” his eyes

“Trust me, I know.”

He slowly ran his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. to do.”

“It’s just that I don’t know what else

Andy stood and walked over to the windows.

His

back turned to Ellis he said, “I can’t bring myself to kill you.

That’s just...wrong.” No one spoke for at least a minute.

Ellis.

“Lemme ask you something.

Andy turned to

What would you do if you

couldn’t work at WNN anymore and the government told you it was illegal for you to see or talk to your family?” “I’d fight it.

I’d...I’d do everything I could to

change it.” “Of course you would. I wanted to do at first.

I’m your clone and that’s what Except I can’t.”

Andy started

pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table. “I can’t change the law. me committed.

They’d probably try to have

And even if I did how would that work?

Would you even let me see your wife and kids?” Ellis said, “I don’t get it.

Everyone at the cloning

facility said you’d have all my memories but you’d be a different person.” Andy chuckled.

“Yeah, but think about it.

aren’t just pictures in your head. feeling attached to it. like I’m you.

Memories

Every memory has some

I inherited all of that.

I feel

I mean, other than bones and skin and

tissue, what else are we besides our memories and feelings? That’s what separates one person from everybody else.” “I don’t just remember all the Christmases you’ve had with your kids.

I remember you being happy because your

kids and your wife were happy.

I remember you crying your

eyes out in the bathroom when your mom told you your dad got cancer.

By the way, how is he?”

Ellis held his breath. Andy looked at him for a few moments and exhaled heavily.

“See, I feel like my dad died.”

eyes and fought back tears. “A few months ago.

He closed his

“When?”

We decided to pull the plug.

He

wouldn’t have wanted to be kept alive by machines.” Andy looked away. know.

“I’m sorry.

He was...well, you

How was the funeral?”

“It went well,” Ellis said.

“Everybody really liked

Palmer / A Life / 9 him.

He made an impact on a lot of people.

sad but he lived a good life.

We were all

It’s a shame it didn’t last

longer but...He’d want us to move on and be happy.” Andy nodded.

He tried to force down the lump in his

throat but couldn’t and he somehow choked his words out. “How’s mom? “Good.

We visited a few weeks ago.

a good head on her shoulders.

She’s always had

I think she’ll be OK.

She’s

got a lot of friends.” “Do you get it now?” “Yeah, I think so.

Andy asked Ellis. For what it’s worth...I’m sorry.”

“For what?” “Well, I don’t think I would have gotten cloned if I knew this would’ve happened.” “But you’re a smart guy.

Shouldn’t you have figured

it out?” Ellis shrugged. thought.

“You know I didn’t give it much

I just wanted to help save the human race.”

“You wanted to help make sure there would be a human race when your kids grow up and have children.” Ellis nodded. “What?

“Can’t you...”

Get therapy?”

Andy made a dismissive gesture.

“I’ve been going to a clone support group for a year and I’ve been seeing a therapist for the past few months,” Andy

said, laughing.

“They don’t know what they’re doing any

better than I do. counsel clones yet.

I guess they haven’t figured out how to We’re a pretty unique group.

insurance doesn’t cover a lot of my therapy.

In fact,

It’s

‘experimental.’ I guess the insurance companies don’t want to be held liable if they pay for therapy and a clone goes crazy and kills his original.” “Believe it or not, I’m actually keeping it together better than a lot of the clones at the support group. guess I have your parents to thank for that.

I

But you

should see some of these people.” “This one guy: work.

Bill Johnson.

He smiles all the time and acts happy.

everybody can see through it. group leader’s advice. memories.

But

He follows all the support

He doesn’t ‘immerse’ himself in his

He ‘faces’ them.

his memories. time.

He’s a real piece of

But there’s no way he’s facing

If he was he wouldn’t be smiling all the

I’ve faced my memories and I’m a wreck.”

“Maybe he actually is happy,” Ellis suggested. “Trust me.

It’s a poorly built façade.

clone I’ve ever met who acts the way he does. research.

His original has a great life.

he doesn’t want to go back to it.

He’s the only I did some

There’s no way

Besides, have you heard

about any clones who’ve led successful lives or contributed

Palmer / A Life / 11 something to society?” “I don’t think I’m qualified to say ‘Yes or no,’” Ellis said. “Well I am and there aren’t any. news.

You keep up with the

If there were, you’d know and the government would

make sure a lot of people knew about it.

They’ve been

pushing cloning as the solution to the population crisis for years now.

They want people to think it was the right

thing to do.” “I guess that’s a good point.

But what about the

other people in your support group?” “There’s Torri.

She’s definitely gonna kill herself

one day.

I don’t know for sure but I think she’s cutting

herself.

Her memories are so painful that she’s probably

numb to it.

I think she cuts herself so she can actually

feel something. something.

And she might be anorexic or bulimic or

Whatever it is, she doesn’t have a lot of self-

esteem and she doesn’t like her body. long sleeve turtleneck shirts.

She’s always wearing

Even when it’s warm

outside.” “Are you numb to your memories?” Andy sat back down. painful.

“Sometimes.

Sometimes it’s just

Walking in here was...it was the first time in a

long time that thinking about my memories didn’t get me

angry or depressed. like I’m home.

I’ve never been here before but I feel

And I had to come here after I saw you and

Karen and your kids two weeks ago.” “Where?” “In the city.

I guess you were out shopping or going

to lunch or something. voice trembled slightly.

Karen was so beautiful...”

His

“I seriously thought about

killing myself for a few days because I knew I couldn’t kill you. a week.

That’s when I thought about living your life for I knew if I could talk to you I’d get you to

understand what I’m going through, at least on some level.” “Can’t they erase your memory?” Ellis asked. “Oh yeah, they can erase your memory. don’t know what they’d be erasing.

Trouble is they

They might wipe out

some of the memories of your life along with my ability to read or talk.” Andy shook his finger at Ellis. that.

“And they can’t have

They need us clones to get out there and be

productive, child-producing citizens.”

Andy swung his fist

across his body in a “go get ‘em” gesture. “Besides, if they could erase your memories from my head I don’t think I’d want to do it. Andy and Ellis made eye contact. letting me live your life for a week?”

I’d lose myself.” “So that’s a no to

Palmer / A Life / 13 “Look.

I feel bad about your situation.

I really do.

I can raise awareness about the issues clones are dealing with.

I can write some articles about it and talk about it

on the air.

That might do a lot of good.

I mean, a lot of

people watch WNN.” “Raise awareness?

Raise awareness?

I don’t wanna be

the fuckin’ poster boy for ‘crazy’ clones!” down at Ellis.

Andy glared

“I need help now,” he said quickly.

“Not

five years from now when the mental health community figures out what to do with us.” “What, are you afraid I’ll hurt your wife and kids or something?”

Andy leaned closer to Ellis.

“I’m you for

chrissakes! Would you ever lay a hand on Karen or Matt or Kevin? Huh?” Ellis shook his head. “You just don’t want me touching them or sleeping with your wife.

You don’t trust me.

You think I’m nuts.”

closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

Andy

He felt like he

was battling with a voice in his head that he had absolutely no control over. “I’d be nuts too if I had to go through what you’ve gone through.

I’m sorry.”

The tension in the room was a

like a very thin wire that had been pulled taut and would snap if pressure was applied at the wrong point.

After he

made his statement Ellis realized that the wire was close to its breaking point. “I’m sorry.

You’re sorry.

Everybody’s sorry!

don’t need people to feel sorry for me.

I

I need help!

Christ!” Andy spoke through gritted teeth. live your life for a week.

“What I need is to

That’s the only thing I’ve got

left.” Ellis exhaled very slowly.

“I’m sorry.

I’ll raise

awareness and I won’t tell anyone you were here this morning after you leave. “Why the hell not?

That’s it.” I mean, from where I’m standing,

it’s the least you can do. had no choice.”

You decided to get cloned.

I

through his hair.

Andy sneered and slowly slid his hand He rested his hand on the back of his

neck. Andy laughed like a psychotic person laying out some insane plot.

“If you really want me to leave you alone for

the rest of your life, you’ll let me do this.

It’ll either

work or it won’t and I’ll just kill myself.” He turned to the book case to the left of the entertainment center and looked at the pictures of Ellis and his family.

He picked up one of Ellis and his wife

vacationing in Cape Cod.

All they did on that trip was

Palmer / A Life / 15 relax on the beach, drink, go out to eat and have sex. He remembered Ellis’ first date with Karen.

He

remembered Karen’s dark blue dress and the cute glasses she wore.

He remembered how Ellis was nervous, which was

pretty odd for him.

Karen found it endearing and she

instantly felt comfortable around him.

Andy smiled when he

remembered how bad the food was. He touched the glass, hoping against hope that his pain would give him the power to reach into the past and touch Karen.

A tear streamed down the side of his face.

But his pain quickly turned to anger and he smashed through the glass with the bottom of his fist.

“Uhh,” he said

through gritted teeth, reacting to the pain from the glass cutting his hand. He pulled the picture out of the frame and set the destroyed frame back on the shelf. Andy saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned back to Ellis.

“What did you...”

A light on Ellis’

phone flashed on and off for a second. “Who did you call?” “What do you mean?” “You’re a terrible liar.” Andy put the picture of Karen in his pocket, walked over to the coffee table, and picked up the phone.

He

switched the phone out of standby mode and found the last

number dialed.

It was saved into the phone.

hadn’t given it a title.

But Ellis

Andy threw the phone to the

floor. “You called the cops didn’t you?

They gave you some

special number to call in case I showed up didn’t they.” Andy pointed the .45 at Ellis.

“Answer me!”

Ellis silence was all the answer he needed. “God dammit!

Do you know what that means?”

“I said I wouldn’t hurt you. to talk.”

Andy shook his head.

I told you I just wanted “And you said you wouldn’t

tell anyone I was here today.” “God dammit,” Andy whispered desperately, over and over again. If they lock you up you can’t kill yourself, Andy realized.

He didn’t know if he could actually do that, but

it was always an option.

But if he went to prison...

He swiftly cleared one shelf of pictures away with his arm and watched them shatter on the wood floor.

The wire

of tension in the room had snapped and taken some of the room with it. “I thought you were starting to understand me. Understand why I’m so desperate. wasn’t it?

It was all bullshit

You think I’m totally gone.”

Ellis shook his head quickly.

“I do understand you.

Palmer / A Life / 17 Sort of.

Maybe the police can get you some help.

And...I

have to protect my family.” “I told you I wouldn’t hurt them. them.”

I’d never hurt

Andy paced back and forth faster and faster.

“You son of a...” Andy stopped pacing and clutched his head between both hands. He stared at the floor, panic-stricken.

His

therapist’s words echoed in his head, “Don’t let your anger overtake you.” But Andy shook his head and banished those words from his brain.

“I’ve tried to be nice.

But you won’t let me.

The world won’t let me.” He started breathing faster and faster. want me to be nice.

“You don’t

That’s fine.”

Andy sneered at Ellis.

“Someone has to pay.”

He took

a deep breath and let it out. “It might as well be you,” Andy held the gun in front of his face. breathing.

He closed his eyes and tried to slow his He gripped the cold steel with trembling,

sweaty hands and looked from the gun to Ellis. sorry.”

“I’m

He cocked the .45. #

Detective Dan Ryan parked his beige sedan along the curb a few houses away from Michael Ellis’ house.

He shut

off the engine and turned to his partner, Detective Natalie Turner. “Remember Nat.

Let’s keep this as quiet as possible.

If he comes out don’t shoot unless you absolutely have to. Use your Taser,” Ryan said quickly. Turner nodded and they both got out of the car.

They

strolled up the sidewalk arm in arm like a husband and wife who were just taking a walk on a quiet Sunday morning. Turner smiled up at Ryan like they’d been together for several years.

They passed a woman walking her dog and

they both smiled at her. “Morning,” Turner said. The other woman nodded and smiled before her dog jerked her forward.

“Miles!”

When they reached Ellis’ driveway Ryan calmly jogged toward the back of the house.

Turner headed to the front

door. The plan called for Ryan to enter the house through the backdoor, subdue the clone then call in Turner to help out.

If the clone ran then Ryan would alert Turner by

calling her on her cell phone, which he could do at the touch of a button on his phone.

(Turner’s phone was set to

vibrate.) Then Turner would break in and help Ryan subdue the

Palmer / A Life / 19 clone.

If the clone came out the front door before Turner

entered she would subdue him and get him back into the house before the neighbors noticed anything. Turner hoped that this time she and her partner hadn’t arrived too late.

She could still see the blood-filled

crater where Mark Thompson’s face used to be and the pool of blood around his limp corpse.

She could hear his wife

in hysterics as officers held her back so she wouldn’t contaminate the crime scene.

Turner quickly pushed the

memory out of her mind and focused on the task at hand. By that time, Ryan had reached the backdoor that opened into the kitchen.

He held his cell phone in front

of the security keypad on the door then pressed a series of buttons, causing his phone to send out a radio signal that unlocked the door without setting off the alarm. He heard a click as the door unlocked.

In one quick motion he put his

phone into a holster on his belt, drew his gun, and entered the house. As soon as he opened the door the stench of gun powder from a recently-fired gun invaded his nostrils and he saw the body on the floor.

Blood flowed steadily out of a

gunshot wound in his chest and out of his mouth, pooling around him on the linoleum floor.

The victim coughed as

more and more syrupy red blood continued to come up his

throat and out of his mouth.

A bloodied kitchen knife was

on the floor next to him. The man looked exactly like the picture of Michael Ellis that Ryan had seen on the computer in his car.

Ryan

dropped to one knee beside the body. “Michael Ellis?” “Over here,” the voice came from across the room. Ryan stood to see over the island in the center of the kitchen and saw a man against the wall with a bloodied kitchen towel wrapped around his right arm. Ryan pressed the button on his phone that called Turner and rushed over to the other person.

He kicked a

.45 which had recently been fired away from the man and stood over him with his gun drawn. “What’s your ID phrase?” The man looked confused. “They gave it to you at the cloning facility before you checked out.” The man looked down and thought about it. Michael Ellis.”

“I am not

Ryan had to give the cloners credit.

What

clone would think to say that after killing his original, Ryan thought.

He still needed to scan the other man to be

absolutely sure he was the clone, but he started breathing a little easier when Ellis gave him the correct ID phrase.

Palmer / A Life / 21 Ryan holstered his gun and knelt beside Ellis.

“What

happened?” He saw Turner down the hall, jogging toward him with her gun drawn.

Ryan held his hand up.

“It’s OK.

clone’s on the other side of the island.

The

Scan him to make

sure.” Ryan opened the kitchen towel then closed it quickly. “You’ll need stitches but you’ll be fine. it to contain the bleeding.

Keep pressure on

Do you have a first aid kit?”

“In the bathroom.” “Is anyone else here?

Your wife and kids?”

“No.” “This is it Dan,” Turner said from the other side of the island. Ellis grimaced from the pain in his arm.

“His name’s

Andy.” Ryan smiled briefly.

“Right.

Let’s get this wrapped

up a little better so you won’t bleed to death before the ambulance gets here.” Ryan helped Ellis to his feet and let him lead the way to the bathroom.

When Ellis stepped out into the hall and

out of view Ryan looked at Turner and nodded his head once. Turner nodded back. Ryan followed Ellis to his bathroom and Turner walked

over to the clone.

She figured that the bullet must have

somehow missed the clone’s heart. he was still alive.

That was the only reason

But he probably had a collapsed lung

and he would die soon.

She put her gun back in its holster

and knelt beside him. She looked away and hung her head for a moment.

She

thought about her daughter Taylor and her husband Tom. They were much more important to her than a clone, even if she felt somewhat sorry for him.

You have to, she thought.

She didn’t need Ellis to tell her the clone’s name. When she scanned the microchip implanted in the clone’s right arm the scanner gave her a picture of the clone, along with personal information such as his name (Andrew Davis), date of birth, place of residence, and other things.

She referred to him as it to try to make it easier

to kill him.

It had become a habit, even though it didn’t

prevent her from getting the shakes hours after killing a clone. Turner took out a small plastic gun with a hypodermic needle protruding from the end of it. the clone.

“Don’t worry.

She looked down at

This won’t hurt at all.”

The clone’s eyes widened and he tried to grab Turner’s arm. knee.

She pushed his arm aside and held it down with her

Palmer / A Life / 23 “I’m sorry. thought.

Really.”

He’s gonna die anyway, she

Turner leaned down, stuck the needle in the

clone’s neck, and squeezed the trigger. “Ah...” the clone started to cry out Turner put her hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.

The clones eyes

slowly closed and Turner withdrew the needle.

She put the

gun in a clear plastic evidence bag and put it in her pocket. pulse.

She waited a few minutes and checked the clone’s He was dead.

That was her cue.

“Dan! We’re losing him! I’m starting CPR!” Ryan rushed to her side while Ellis sat in the bathroom.

“Yes.

This is Detective Dan Ryan.

Boston

Police.” He pretended to talk to a 911 operator and made sure he did it loud enough for Ellis to hear. “We’re at 1189 Cambridge Boulevard. shot.

My partner’s performing CPR.

A man’s been

We need an ambulance

here now!” “Come on dammit!”

Turner played along, just like they

had rehearsed dozens of times before. minutes, Ryan said “Nat.

Nat! It’s OK.

After about five It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” Turner did her best to sound like she was holding back tears, which wasn’t too hard because she actually was. “It’s OK.

You did your best.”

Ryan and Turner made eye contact and Ryan patted her on the back.

Turner bit her lip and steadied herself

against the island. Ryan whispered.

“I’ll wrap up Ellis’ arm.

You come

in in a few minutes and say you’ll take Ellis to the hospital because they can’t get an ambulance out here for a half hour.

Then go.

I’ll wait here for backup and clean

things up.” Ryan went back to the bathroom.

Ellis was sitting on

the toilet seat clutching his injured arm to his chest. “Is he dead?” Ryan nodded.

“It looked like he had a collapsed lung.

He was bleeding internally and he had already lost a lot of blood.” Ellis, sweat running down his face, looked away for a second.

“I didn’t mean to.

He was gonna kill me.”

Ryan opened the first aid kit on the counter, took out medical tape and all the gauze and set it next to the sink. “The clone was here illegally.

You’re injured.

you’re shaken up about everything. worry about Mr.

I can tell

You’ve got nothing to

Ellis.”

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Ellis was looking in Ryan’s direction but he was deep in thought or drowning in mixed emotions.

He might as well

Palmer / A Life / 25 have still been in the kitchen leaning against the wall like when Ryan found him.

The hand on his uninjured arm

was shaking like he had Parkinson’s disease. “What?” “What happened?” “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He blinked to help himself focus.

Ryan spoke slowly.

“It’s OK.

Take your time.”

“Start at the beginning,” Ryan said.

“Sometimes it’s

easier to deal with this stuff if you talk about it.

Trust

me.” “Andy broke in.”

He laughed for a second.

I guess he knew the code to get in. life for a week.

“Actually,

He wanted to live my

He said that would help him let go of his

memories and get on with his life.” “What did you say?” “I told him ‘No.’ I couldn’t trust him with my family. I felt bad for him but...I knew if I let him do it he might get attached to my family and kill me.

He said he couldn’t

bring himself to kill me but I didn’t want him to get more comfortable with the idea.” “How long until you called us?”

Ryan washed Ellis’

arm off in the sink and put the gauze over the wound. “Once I realized that I couldn’t talk my way out of it I tried to sneak in a call to you guys when his back was

turned.

But he noticed me doing something.

Then he said

he was gonna kill me to make me pay for what he’d been through.” While Ryan was taping the gaze firmly on Ellis’ arm he asked, “How did this happen?” “Somehow we got into the kitchen.

I started to go for

the gun and he grabbed one of the knives from the holder and slashed at me.

He said something about sticking a

scanner in my arm.” “Every clone has a microchip implanted in their arm. That’s how Detective Turner confirmed that the body was the clone.” “I guess you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference otherwise,” Ellis said. Ryan finished dressing Ellis’ wound.

“That should

hold up until they stitch you up at the hospital.” Ellis didn’t even acknowledge Ryan’s comment. mouth was closed firmly until he spoke.

His

“I imagine if I

was him I might start losing my mind too.” “Why’s that?” “He asked me what I would do if my job was taken away from me and it was illegal to see or talk to my family. told him I’d fight it as hard as I could. what he was doing.”

I think that’s

I

Palmer / A Life / 27 Ellis laughed briefly.

“Even though he tried to kill

me I think I empathized with him.

I told him that instead

of him living my life for a week, I would raise awareness about the problems clones have,” he looked up at Ryan as he spoke.

“I write editorials for WNN.”

“I don’t know if I actually meant it at the time.

I

just wanted to get him out of my house because I was scared.

But now I’m definitely gonna do it.

crazy but maybe he wasn’t to blame.” defiant.

Andy was

His face became

“Maybe clones aren’t the best solution to the

population crisis.” Ryan’s experience told him that was the case.

Even

though the male clones were immune to the Toestovsky virus and the female clones wouldn’t become infertile, they ran a serious risk of losing their minds, like Andrew Davis apparently did. Ryan put the towel he dried his hands off with back on the bar on the wall.

Then Turner walked in.

checked on that ambulance. half an hour. ourselves.

“Well, I

It won’t be here for at least a

You know, we could take him to the hospital

I’ll just call off the ambulance.”

Ryan said, “Good idea.

But I should stay here and

wait for the crime scene investigators and everybody else.” Ellis didn’t even notice Turner walk in.

He flinched

a tiny bit when he finally saw her standing in the doorway. Ryan figured Ellis was still too focused on his conversation with the clone to think anything of a cop being alone in his house.

That or he was so naïve that he

didn’t see anything wrong with it. Ryan turned to Ellis.

“I’ll see you at the hospital

to get an official statement about this. be any problems.

There shouldn’t

I can tell it was self-defense.”

When he heard the door shut behind Ellis and Turner, Ryan grabbed his phone and dialed the direct number for the head of the Clone Crimes division of Boston PD, Captain Brian Gillis. “Dan.

What happened?”

“The clone tried to kill Ellis. from the clone and shot him.

But he took the gun

Nat injected him with

potassium chloride to finish the job.” “So do you think we can keep this under wraps?” “Actually, I’m a little concerned about that.

Ellis

said he’s definitely going to raise awareness about the problems clones are facing or something.

He writes

editorials for WNN.” “Ellis has developed quite a little fan club.

All he

needs is to blow the lid off a big story like this to become a household name.”

Gillis paused.

“Do you think we

Palmer / A Life / 29 can discourage him?” “I dunno. clone talked.

See, before they fought, Ellis and the Ellis seemed pretty affected by it.

the clone got through to him.

Like

Ellis told me he thinks it

must be tough to be a clone.” Gillis didn’t speak for so long that Ryan thought he lost the connection. “I’m sorry.

“Captain?”

I was just thinking.

This has the

potential to blow up in all our faces.” Gillis started whispering to prevent people near his office from hearing him.

“I’ve got my pension to think about.

Those donations

from the clone lobbyists may stop altogether if we allow someone to try to convince the public that cloning’s a bad thing.” Ryan said, “Trust me captain.

I don’t want this to

blow up any more than you do.” He thought about his father, dying in a hospital bed from advanced Toestovsky disease. Weakening by the day. survive.

Needing constant care just to

Toestovsky disease didn’t just kill the person it

infected, it could nearly bankrupt that person’s family. “I could talk to him about it when I see him at the hospital.

I need to get an official statement about the

incident,” Gillis said. “Try to convince him to sleep on it.

Tell him there

are lots of people working on the issue and he should wait until they’ve had more time to study it. wants a great story he should wait.

Say that if he

Maybe if he doesn’t

write anything for several months or a year our generous benefactors won’t blame us,” Gillis said. “Who knows about this?” “Myself, Turner and you.” “I know I can trust you to make sure it stays that way Dan.” Ryan held his breath for a moment.

“What if...what if

I can’t convince him?” It took Gillis about 10-15 seconds to respond. might have to talk to his employer. pressure on him that way.

“I

Maybe I can put some

If that doesn’t work...then I

don’t know.” “I’m sure a solution will present itself,” Ryan offered.

He felt like he was on the bomb squad and there

was no manual for disarming a bomb that could go off at any time. “We can only hope so Dan,” Gillis said.