4-18-05 Main Event Heat

DL Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four Way Match Arson © vs Dazza vs Red Fox vs Grave Digger Fade back from commercial. The camera is focused on a straightforward shot of the announcer's table, and J.R. and King start talking, as they always do. J.R.: Welcome back to Sunday Night HeAt, folks, and we've finally come to the moment you've been waiting for! There are no more commercial breaks, and we've just got straight-up wrestling for the rest of the night. We are now at the main event. Lawler: Yessir, and it should be a good one! Not only will it be for the DL Championship, it'll also be a Fatal 4-way! Can Arson hold his own against Red Fox, Dazza, and Grave Digger? We're about to find out. Fade to commercial. Haha, J.R. lied to all of you. Suckers. Commercial time! Here are advertisements for: A pubic shaver that will turn girls into raving nymphomaniacs. The Lance Krall Show. A fake reality show. The Lance Krall Show. A pubic shaver. Fade back from commercial. Red Fox is already in the ring, and she's lacing up her boots to a mixed reaction. Actually, there's not really much of a reaction at all. Why the hell would anyone care about her lacing up her boots? Let's move on. All of the lights in the [ENTER ARENA HERE] go off as a steady rhythm takes place. Just as the guitar riffs before the singing start, yellow pyro explodes all around the entrance to the ramp. When it fades, a man with a hood over his face is seen standing in the after-smoke Do you remember me You can't see the things That make me who I am You'll never understand The man throws back his hood and raises his arms up, setting off fireworks leading down the ramp.. He walks forwards onto the ramp, as slow as the Undertaker. Lillian Garcia: Making his way to the ring... weighing in at 230

pounds... from Southampton, England... DAAAAAZZZZZAAA!!! And I gotta keep moving, you're living off my sweat Moving, the devil's on my back And these are the days that I dreamed about And you're always there to remind me Dazza walks down the ramp, slapping a few hands. When he reaches the end, he bends down slightly, preparing to run. You're my enemy All that we had has gone away There are times that fade away But you'll still be my enemy Dazza breaks off into a sprint, and runs into the ring. He jumps up onto the nearest turnbuckle and pulls off his jacket. He lobs in into the crowd, and maintains a steady balance on the top rope. The friend you had in me You turned on so easily I'm sad to see you go At least now I know Dazza excecutes a perfect backflip off the top rope, landing on his feet, setting off smoke all around the ring. It rises so the ring is unviewable. When the smoke clears, Dazza performs a perfect moonwalk to his corner, waiting for his opponent as the music fades... And I see clearly now You tried to bleed me And I see clearly now You tried to feed on me Dazza and Fox stare each other down from opposite corners, with Dazza in a corner closer to the ramp. Suddenly, Grave Digger's music hits. Six feet under I'm still alive Six feet under I've found my paradise When I left, the skies were sober I took this shrine last October Dazza looks over towards the ramp, and Fox charges at him, like a forest animal hastily chasing its prey (Hey, that's funny, since her name is Fox! Wow, I'm clever). Dazza turns back and braces for impact. With a straight shot across the ring, Fox dives at Dazza with a right fist extended. Dazza

blocks with a left forearm, and fires back a right hand of his own. The two competitors start exchanging lefts and rights. The battle moves towards the center of the ring, with Dazza's back still towards the ramp. Expectedly, Grave Digger hastily runs down the ramp. Yes, it's expected, because his music is still playing. While Dazza is still distracted with Fox, Digger slides into the ring. With uncontrolled force, GD nails a forearm to Dazza's back – which forces him right into the hands of Fox. Red takes Dazza's head and sticks it between her knees. GD decides to help out and grabs Dazza from behind. With Fox's arms around Dazza's waist, and Digger's arms around Dazza's legs, the poor victim is hoisted up onto Fox's legs… and then double powerbombed right onto the mat! J.R.: Now, that just ain't fair! That's not fair at all! Lawler: Calm down, J.R. Any kind of alliances can be made in this type of matchup – and they can be broken, too! I'll bet Red Fox and Grave Digger will be beating the snot out of each other in no time. Immediately after Dazza gets powerbombed, Arson's music hits. However, it's not his flashy entrance with the dark lights and pyro and all that. Instead, the lyrics hit immediately… Red sun rising, somewhere through the dense fog. …and before another line can be heard, Arson is seen running down past the curtain. A look of intensity is seen in his eyes, and he's clearly read to fight. Fox and GD stand in the ring, looking right at him, waiting for this war to really get started. Arson reaches the ring and slides right in. Before he can stand up, Digger and Red sloppily hop onto his back with double axe handles and fake karate chops. Yes, they're fake. None of these guys actually know martial arts. Remember how I said it was sloppy? Yeah. With relative ease (due, of course, to his current intensity level), Arson forces back both opponents and gets to his feet at the same time. It kind of looked like something out of a Conan the Barbarian episode. Or Hercules. Or Conan O'Brien Show. Or something. I dunno, I never actually watched any of those shows. I always thought they were kind of fruity. Oh wait, no, I do actually watch Conan quite a bit. O'Brien, not Barbarian. Now, if they were to make a Conan O'Bribrarien show, then that'd be ratings through the roof! Anyway, GD and Fox are only pushed back a foot or two, so it's not like they were actually hurt or anything. Fox runs at Arson, but is almost decapitated by a clothesline. Arson turns to the other side and does the same thing to Grave Digger. …And they do it again. That's right, Fox gets back up and gets clotheslined. Grave Digger gets back up and gets clotheslined. Finally, Dazza gets back up… and gets clotheslined. Apparently, Arson doesn't care who he's fighting, as long as he's beating the hell out of someone.

J.R.: Apparently, Arson doesn't care who he's fighting, as long as he's beating the hell out of someone! I just said that! J.R.: Sorry! It's okay. Just don't do it again. Lawler: Who are you talking to? J.R.: The man that everyone hears. Lawler: ………. J.R.: Arson and Dazza are squaring off with each other, using right and left hands! Arson and Dazza pair off, as do Fox and GD. Lefts and rights and lefts and right! Lefts and lefts! Rights and rights! Ups and downs! Wait, wait, no ups and downs. My bad. In the midst of all their punching, Dazza and Arson gradually end up moving towards the turnbuckle. Dazza uses a low hook to the gut(Ah! So there WAS a down in here... although it was still a right) to push Arson up against the corner. Arson's eyes glaze back for a second, and he's clearly had the wind knocked out of him. Lawler: Nice shot by Dazza there! Dazza grabs Arson's head and runs in a straight line towards the adjacent corner, raking his opponent's eyes up against the rope. J.R.: I guess Dazza doesn't have any inhibitions against bending the rules. Lawler: Of course not. How can you be as entertaining as him and still follow the rules? J.R.: I don't know. Similarly, how did Full House stay on the air for so long? Lawler: ....Touche. Meanwhile, in the other corner of the ring, Grave Digger goes for a right hook to Red Fox's cranium, but Fox ducks out of the way. In the same swift motion, Fox slides behind GD and locks her arms around his head. With a left arm under the chin and a right arm behind the head, Fox applies a textbook sleeper hold! Lawler: Fox with the sleeper! Can Grave Digger break the hold?

Digger flails his arms in the air like a chicken whose butt has just been attacked with a flamethrower. Holy crap, that's got to be one of the best analogies I've ever thought of. Chicken + Flamethrower = Ratings. Digger's eyes roll back slightly, and his arms slow down.... and then he falls to one knee. Meanwhile, Dazza picks up Arson and locks his head between his knees, as if setting up for a powerbomb. Or a Piledriver. Or a Screwdriver. Actually, no, not a Screwdriver. What IS he setting up for, anyway? Dazza: FALLING BRIDGE! Ah, the Falling Bridge. Glad he knows what he's doing, because I sure can't keep up. Dazza wraps his arms around Arson's upper body and tries picking him up --- but Arson doesn't budge! Instead, Arson places his own hands on his knees for leverage... and hurls Dazza over into a backtoss. J.R.: Too early for that finisher, I'd say. The camera switches back to focusing on Red Fox's sleeper hold. Grave Digger is on the floor and just barely crawling towards the ropes. He extends his right hand.. and Fox pulls back hard on his neck! GD is taken farther away from the rope. However, Digger starts gaining some strength, and with the power of 50 buffalos and maybe 1 or 2 llamas, he makes a swan-like dive (although about as graceful as the aforementioned buffalo) over to the rope! In fact, he even grabs said rope! Molineux: 1...2...3..! Fox lets go of Grave Digger and shoves his head down in frustration. He should've tapped! Actually, he shouldn't have. If the match had ended there, it would've been sucky. Lawler: Alright, Grave Digger! Way to go, ol' buddy ol' pal! J.R.: Arson with a quick snapmare to Dazza! Indeed, Arson picks up Dazza and gives him a snapmare. Fox, giving Grave Digger a break, turns towards Arson. While Arson is focused on Dazza, Fox sneaks up behind him, revs her right leg back like a fishing rod... and gives him a nasty kick to the back of the knee! Arson falls, but before he's even able to land on his butt, Fox grabs his leg and pulls him down into a school boy. Molineux: 1! 2! Grave Digger comes out of nowhere and kicks Fox out of the pin. J.R.: That was close! It could've been it right there! This is twice now that Fox has been inches away from taking the gold!

Dazza, who apparently had been dazed for a few moments there, gets up. GD notices and grapples him from behind. Up goes Dazza! And down goes Dazza, with his crotch fitting perfectly with Grave Digger's knee! In pro wrestling, we call that an "Atomic drop." In street fighting, we call that "cheap and dirty." Arson gets up right as Dazza falls to the ground in falsetto-like pain. GD turns around to face Arson, but Arson is ready first and immediately grabs Digger by the waist. Belly to Belly suplex! Lawler: See that? I don't care how big Grave Digger is, Arson is too strong! That's why he's our DL Champion! J.R.: Well, there's no arguing that Arson has quite a bit of muscle employed, but he's also got some agility --- which, as it seems, he's about to demonstrate! Arson's climbing to the top rope! Lawler: Oh, It's Coming Down, J.R.! We're about to see a huge leg drop from the champ! Fox, who by this time is back on her feet, decides to get the advantage; so she runs fullspeed against the ropes supporting Arson's turnbuckle! CRASH! Suddenly, the turnbuckle is good friends with Arson's genitalia. How quaint. Fox crouches down and laughs at him wildly. At least I'm assuming she's laughing. You never hear anything come out of her mouth, you know? Anywho, Arson's obviously not going to get up anytime soon... Fox hops onto the turnbuckle herself! J.R.: It looks like Red Fox might finally finish things off this time! With her sights locked onto Arson, she hops right off the top rope... Cue the slow motion, if you will. Fox moves her legs into a sitting position.... ...Arson braces for impact... Lawler: ....Leeeeeeeeg dddrrrooooooopppp....... ....She's about to land......... ...Dazza grabs Arson by the ankle and pulls him out of the way! Fox crashes and burns! Dazza applies the Grapevine Anklelock! Lawler: What--!? Where the hell did Dazza come from!? J.R.: I don't know, but he ruined yet another one of Fox's chances to win! And now he might get the win himself!

With Arson's ankle cradled in Dazza's arms and legs, Arson is in excruciating pain. Listen: Arson: GAWAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, yeah. Excruciating. Arson tries getting out by flipping onto his back, but Dazza still holds on! Arson is writhing on the mat! Of course, Dazza is holding on for dear life, and he's giving everything he's got, and he could lose this with one wrong move -- but it looks like this should be it... Grave Digger runs over and kicks Dazza out of the hold! Man, he's really got a thing for breaking things up with his foot. I'd like to see what would happen if he ever got jealous about an ex-girlfriend... especially since he adds a few extra stomps to Dazza's head for good measure. J.R.: No! He was so close! We could've had a new champion! Damn that Grave Digger! Clutching her thigh (in a non-sexual way, you pervs), Fox gets up onto her knees. Grave Digger walks over to "take out the trash." GD tries to hit an easy punch to the side of Fox's head, but immediately beforehand, Fox nails him with a fist to the gut! She starts getting up, and the two start exchanging right hands! These two are really getting into it! Punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch . . . Arson and Dazza start getting up at about the same time. Since they're right next to each other, they just start brawling, too. Weird. Lawler: This has turned into two one-on-one boxing matches! J.R.: No, it hasn't. They were doing this earlier in the match, too. Remember? Grave Digger starts getting the upper hand on Fox, and she starts getting pushed backwards. After a real nasty left hook, GD whips Red around and from behind her, grabs an arm and a leg (because he needs to pay for car insurance! *Rimshot!*). Fox gets picked up horizontally, into a pumphandle slam position! J.R.: No! No no no! Dammit, Grave Digger is going for the Fall To Hell! This could be the end! Lawler: Yeah, and it damn well better be, too! I really have to pee! With Fox in the aforementioned pumphandle slam position, Digger goes to throw her backwards into a Fallaway Slam, which would then complete his nasty trademark. As GD throws Fox back over his head, Fox wriggles loose from his hold! While still in mid-air, she flips around, facing Digger's back, and wraps her arms and legs around her! With a powerful squeeze, Fox applies a body scissors!

J.R.: Mah gawd! I don't know if I've ever seen that kind of a reversal to the Fall To Hell before! Lawler: Are you sure about that? J.R.: No, but I'm going to make that claim anyway! Maybe Red Fox will make Grave Digger tap this time! Meanwhile, in the other half of the ring, Arson whips Dazza into the ropes, but on the return, Arson gets met with a spinning wheel kick. Down goes Arson, and up stays Dazza. However, back to more pressing matters: GD starts using his strength (just like he did last time) and eventually gets up to his feet. Fox stays on his back, though. She refuses to lose this match! She will win! J.R.: Shut up, narrator! You're not supposed to tell them that! Sorry. J.R.: It's okay. I guess you and I are even now, huh? Yup. We're square! Lawler: Shut up, J.R.! Something important's happening! Grave Digger is in control now, and he's charging backwards into the corner! He's like a freight train on reverse! Fox still doesn't let go... and she pays for it, by being rammed right into the turnbuckle. Yyyyyyyeah, she lets go this time. Fox is down. As GD catches his breath (he WAS losing oxygen that whole time, after all), Arson gets up and Irish whips Digger into the opposite corner (as in, opposite of where Fox just got smashed). Immediately after impact, Arson charges at GD with right arm extended. Clothesline! Hurray! GD falls to his butt. Lawler: Hey, it's kind of funny that Digger just fell down after being smashed into the corner, since that's what he just did to Fox! J.R.: Irony, King. Irony. And speaking of Red Fox, she's back up now. As Fox gets up, Dazza runs from behind and grabs her by the head. He goes for a bulldog, but Fox uses her swiftness and pushes herself out -- and pushes Dazza forward, slamming him face-first into the turnbuckle! Gosh darn, the turnbuckle hates everyone today! Meanwhile, in the opposite corner . . . Arson jumps behind the sitting Grave Digger. Arson wraps his left arm in front of Digger's head, and wraps his right arm around Digger's right arm. Arson applies pressure. Arson this, Arson that. Arson has been the first word in the past five sentences now. Oh, but yeah, so Arson applies a dragon sleeper -- or, as he likes to call it . . .

J.R.: ...TOTAL WRECK!!! Arson's got the Total Wreck locked in on Grave Digger! What with all the submissions being locked onto his head in the past few minutes, he may tap at any moment! Fox looks over and sees Digger in the hold. She gets onto one foot and is about to run over to break the hold, and... Grave Digger grabs the rope. Did we forget that they were in the corner? Hmm? I hope not, because otherwise, this wouldn't have worked. But so yeah, Digger gets the rope break. Molineux: 1...2...3...4...! Arson lets go. Right as this happens, Fox realizes her opportunity and stalks down into a crouching position. The crowd gives a loud reaction of sorts (She's a Tweener, so I don't know what kind of reaction... since the two possible victims are both heels, let's say that the crowd cheers). They all know what's coming! The Fox Trot, Fox's signature spear! J.R.: Here it comes! The Fox Trot!! Someone’s about to get Trotted! Arson gets to his feet, and is a second away from stepping in front of Grave Digger. This is Fox’s chance! Arson sets his foot down, and… Dazza wraps his arms around Fox’s waist! Lifting her up like a back suplex, Dazza lets go with one arm, turns, and slams her down with a rockbottom! Right before impact, the camera zooms in on Fox’s face (what you can see of it, that is), and her teeth are most definitely gritting with irritation. Lawler: That damned Dazza! Hitting his “When the Saints” out of nowhere like that! J.R.: Well, love him or hate him, the fact is that he just screwed up Fox’s chances again! That young woman has got to be REAL aggravated by now! Lawler: Either way, she should be down for a little while now. Dazza changes his focus and moves over to where Arson has just picked up the stilldazed Grave Digger. Arson notices Dazza, and then quickly says something inaudible. Dazza nods and gets on the other side of Digger. Each one grabs an arm of the big guy, and Irish whip him, sending him flying towards the other side of the ring. The two attackers pump their arms, and as soon as Grave Digger returns to their area, the pumped arms simultaneously clothesline GD down to the mat. The fans cheer, because teamwork is cool! Stay in school. J.R.: A little double-team action from these two unlikely allies now… They nod and pick GD up to his feet, and they repeat the move again. The cheering continues. Is this the end of Grave Digger? This reminds me of those ****ing handicap matches against the APA in Intercontinental Championship mode in No Mercy. Those

were so damned hard. With one more nod, Arson and Dazza pick up GD. Again. This is starting to get a little old, since they’re not exactly going quickly. I mean, I don’t blame them, since they’re in pain and out of breath and all… I’m just saying that the fans aren’t all that entertained. Don’t believe me? Check it out: Fans: …Yay…? Point proven, I rest my case. Clearly Dazza notices this lack of a reaction – and it just doesn’t fit his style! So, immediately after Irish whipping Grave Digger across the ring, Dazza moves out of formation – backwards! With slick moves that would make Steve Urkel burn with envy and a tingly sensation in the undergarments region, Dazza moonwalks towards the adjacent ropes! The crowd goes wild! Hurray for dancing! Hurray for hip-hop! Hurray for marks! Also, right about now, Fox is slowly crawling up the turnbuckle to get to her feet (Just a little FYI). Anyways, Arson is distracted by Dazza’s dancing (Oh, Dazza. You’re such a joker), and forgets to clothesline Grave Digger. Take a guess at what happens. No, seriously. Guess. THAT’S RIGHT! GRAVE DIGGER CLOTHESLINES ARSON INSTEAD! You’re so smart. So, GD’s just plain pissed off by now; as he should be. All the more power to him! With the tenacity of 1500 midgets eating hot dogs (don’t ask what that means, because I don’t know), Digger picks Arson up by the hair and throws him right out of the ring! Over the ropes, I say! Over the ropes! HOWEVER!!!~1., Arson doesn’t want to take any damage from impact (I mean, come on! Who would?), so right at the last moment, he reaches out with his right hand and grabs the top rope! Without really falling to the outside, Arson picks himself up to the apron! Good for him. Thinking that he’s safe, Arson takes a moment to regain his bearings. But here’s a fun swerve. J.R.: Red Fox is on the top rope in the corner, just a few feet away from where Arson is! And she’s looking right at him! Like a homing rocket with explosives to spare, Fox slides through the air, parallel above the third rope, and plants her feet right into Arson’s skull! Missile dropkick! Arson gets sent packing down towards the ring barrier below! That’ll take a guy out for a little while, to be sure. Fox, who had to fire her legs over the ropes, accidentally bounces her knee onto the rope and makes a sick bump, headfirst, down to the mat. Naturally, a spot of that caliber catches Grave Digger’s attention . . . so he doesn’t notice Dazza run past him, right before his eyes. Dazza hops up onto the corner turnbuckle! J.R.: Oh, my! Now the flashy spot-machine Dazza is going for a high-risk maneuver of his own!

Dazza spins around on the top rope, facing away from Arson, and flips backwards off the turnbuckle! Down to the mat he goes, with the greatest of ease! He’s flipping… he’s flipping… he’s falling…. He’s going to land on Arson . . . And Arson rolls out of the way at the very last second! Dazza lands smackdab on his face, after that 10-foot drop! In fact, he hits the ground so hard, some think he even bounces up before lying there, lifeless. J.R.: BAH GAWD! Why do these youngsters always go for moves like that? It got poor Dazza nowhere, except to the bottom of the barrel in this match! Lawler: Eh, he deserved it. I don’t like him. I just don’t like him! J.R.: Why? Because his name is cooler than yours? Lawler: …Yes. This leaves only Grave Digger and Red Fox in the ring. Fox is still dazed from her bump, so GD cockily picks up Fox, with a grin on his face. He tries going for a simple front grapple, but Fox gets a second wind and pushes his arms out of the way; and then she starts going at him with nasty right hands! However, it’s Grave Digger, and it doesn’t phase him all that much – meaning that he starts fighting back! Here comes yet another punch-punch-punch exchange! After an elbow smash to the temple, GD whips Fox into the ropes, his arms ready for a Tazzplex, or a Powerslam, or a Gorilla Press… or something. It doesn’t matter, though, because upon returning, she slides underneath between his legs. Kinky. When Grave Digger turns around to face her, Fox knees him hard in the gut! J.R.: That’s Fox’s signature knee to the gut right there! Lawler: How the hell is that a signature move? J.R.: Actually, it’s not. Shut up. I’ll kill you. Arson, who has been recovering outside, starts climbing back in. Fox hooks Grave Digger’s left arm around her head, and starts pulling him up. Yes, it’s a struggle, and it takes a moment, but somehow Red Fox is able to pick up Grave Digger, and then slam him down behind her with a vertical suplex! Talk about a strong woman! Hell, talk about a strong anything! Without letting go, she spins on her butt and uses the momentum to get up to her feet – and pulls Digger up with her. Picking him up again, she nails a second vertical suplex! She still doesn’t let go, and it looks like time for a front suplex – wait! Arson’s back in the ring! Lawler: Arson’s signaling something to Red Fox! What are they up to…? Arson runs over to the other side of Grave Digger, and hooks his free arm over his head.

J.R.: Wait a minute..! Are they..? Arson and Red Fox both pick up Grave Digger together, and slam him behind the two of them! Double suplex!! Lawler: Teamwork! That’s the key! J.R.: Teamwork, nothing! Red Fox is already focused on Arson! Immediately after slamming Digger, Fox turns to attack Arson with a simple punch, but Arson grabs her arm! Using quick technique, Arson Irish whips Fox into the corner. Before Fox can restore her bearings, Arson charges after her like a Bull on Parade [Insert headbanging here]. Lawler: That right there is a good example of how size actually does matter! Before Red Fox can fall to the ground in pain, Arson picks her back up and sets her against the corner. Pulling his right arm back for power first, Arson rams it into Fox’s chest (but not, like, her boobs.. or anything cheap like that). Clothesline! And another clothesline! Clothesline clothesline clothesline clothesline clothesline! Hot damn, this guy’s on fire! Fox almost goes into a convulsion with every single blow, but she just can’t fall down from the fact that she keeps getting knocked against the corner. Ick. That really sucks. Finally, tired from hitting a woman, Arson lets off. As a victim to an awful beating, Fox holds on for dear life to the ropes. She can barely stand. She needs rest. Duh. Arson turns around… and hey! Look! Grave Digger’s been waiting for him! How nice. And he’s got a knuckle sandwich for him, too! …Aaaaaaaaand the two start exchanging blows. I’m not gonna bother describing it. I’ve described enough punch exchanges in this match. Again, GD isn’t really phased all that much, so he gets the upper hand; and whips Arson into the ropes! Grave Digger with a jumping clothesline to Arson’s neck! Blargh! With much haste, Digger picks up his opponent and pulls out another Irish whip/jumping clothesline combination. J.R.: That’s really got to hurt. Those arms of Grave Digger aren’t made of chocolate, you know! Lawler: No… but they ARE covered with barbecue sauce. J.R.: Ha! I wish! Grave Digger’s pumped. He points down at the hurting champion, and then pulls his arms out into a cross position. The crowd boos a lot! Aw, snap! It’s time for a big finish! Digger picks up Arson by the hair and Irish whips Arson one more time! This time, however, GD doesn’t look like he’s preparing for a clothesline, but he crouches down… Gah! It’s gonna be a Spinebuster!!! Aw snap again, son! Arson bounces off the ropes, and Digger wraps his arms around Arson’s waist! He’s getting picked up and slammed down!

J.R.: BAH GAWD! THIS COULD BE IT! Right before impact, Arson extends his arm forward and wraps it around Digger’s head, putting him into a facelock! The two men go down together! Arson got a spinebuster, and Grave Digger received a last-second DDT!! That was one terrific counter there, Arson! Too bad you’re still hurting. J.R.: BAH GAWD! THAT WAS NOT IT! The fans are cheering! What a neat little spot that was! …Except that now, nothing’s going on. Everyone’s hurting. Dazza’s still in pain outside the ring, Fox is still up against the turnbuckle, and now Arson and Grave Digger are on the mat as well. Is anyone going to get up? J.R.: This match could end up going to whoever gets up first, King. Lawler: Damn straight! J.R.: Yup. Lawler: Uh-huh. J.R.: ……. Lawler: …… J.R.: So, uh… Time’s passing… And nothing’s happening… What do we talk about now? Lawler: I… errr… I don’t know…. Say, what do you think about this new pubic shaver that they just came out with--J.R.: …Arson’s getting onto his feet!! Arson could take the win right here and now! Arson, still dazed, slowly gets up to his feet. He shakes out the cobwebs, and tries to get a bearing of what’s going on. Well… Grave Digger’s right in front of him, still on the mat… and Dazza’s still lying lifeless outside… Where the hell is Fox…? Lawler: LOOK OUT, ARSON! Right from behind (because that’s where that particular turnbuckle was), Fox locks Arson into a reverse facelock! Arson struggles, but can’t really…. Move… at all. Fox looks down at her victim and starts biting the air wildly; oh, crap! The Vixen’s Bite! J.R.: Here it comes..!

Red Fox picks up Arson from behind and starts flipping him over, like a back suplex – until she lifts her opponent up and flips him in the air; and then letting Arson fall back down with her so his face hits her shoulder, their body landing at a right angle to hers on the mat! Owwwww. J.R.: There it is! She needs to go for the pin now! No one’s around to break up the pin… Lawler: ..Not so fast there, J.R.! Grave Digger’s on one knee! He’s getting back up!

Fox realizes her soon approaching opponent, and so she gets down into a crouching position. She’s gonna go for the Fox Trot again! The crowd cheers!!! Crowd: Yahoo! As Fox stalks for a Fox Trot, Grave Digger grabs the ropes behind him for support. Right before he stands up completely, Dazza makes a return onto the apron, right behind Grave Digger! J.R.: What the..? That’s Dazza! I thought he was done for! Fox gets into stance to charge at Grave Digger, but right as she starts running, Dazza hops onto the third rope, and then flips over Grave Digger’s back! Fox abruptly stops in midrun. As he falls in front of Digger, Dazza grabs his opponent’s head and slams the chin down onto his shoulder! J.R.: Government mule!! A springboard Murder-Go-Round! Dazza hops up to his feet, with a load of excitement on his face.. and gets shoved from behind by Red Fox! Turning around, Dazza gets into Fox’s face and shoves her back! From the camera’s point of view, Dazza is yelling at Fox, with Fox flashing all sorts of obscene gestures and extravagant arm motions! Fox is pissed! Lawler: Of course! Fox is obviously pissed off! Dazza has been ruining almost every single one of Fox’s finishers throughout the whole match! Dazza and Fox get into a classic shoving contest. Dazza shoves! Fox shoves back! Dazza shoves back! Fox shoves back! Dazza shoves back! Fox holds back for a second… and slaps a right hand straight across Dazza’s face! I can almost hear the gang chanting “Fight.. fight… fight!!!” Dazza turns away for a moment, clutching his cheek – and fires back a right hand at Fox! Fox fires back, and then Dazza tackles her down to the ground! The two are really straight-out brawling now! The crowd is going nuts! Lawler: If Cole was here, he’d say “This is turning into a straight-out fight!” J.R.: It is! They’re just wailing away at each other!

Fox and Dazza are beating the hell out of each other on the ground, and they keep rolling and rolling and rolling like a garbage barrel, punching each other the entire way… until they roll right under the ropes and fall out of the ring! ….Aaaaaand they’re going at it, on the mat outside! This is true ferocity right here! Lawler: Wait a minute.. This leaves Arson and Grave Digger in the ring alone now! J.R.: And look, Arson’s starting to crawl across the mat! Is he finally going to take it..?? Slowly but surely, using every inch of his strength, Arson crawls over to Grave Digger’s downed body. The crowd is giving him a lot of heat! Lawler: Yes! Yes! Yes! Get him, Arson! J.R.: No! No! No! He shouldn’t be the people’s champion! He doesn’t deserve to hold onto the title like this! He doesn’t even like the people! Arson finally reaches Grave Digger! …He lifts his arm up… and lands it down over Grave Digger’s body! He’s going for the pin! Molineux: 1! 2! ….3! Ding ding ding! Lawler: YAHOO! HE’S DONE IT! J.R.: Dammit! No, no, no!! Why??? Red sun rising, somewhere through the dense fog. The portrait of the jaded dawn, who had seen it all before. Referee Jim Molineux grabs the DL Championship belt and hands it to Arson, and holds up the winded Arson’s hand in victory. Lillian: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and still reigning DL Champion… Aaaaarson!!! J.R.: Dammit! Lawler: Well, that’s what happens in this business, J.R. You win some, you lose some – but Arson just keeps on winning! Arson’s music keeps playing, and Arson holds up the belt in victory.

J.R.: Well, folks, that’s all for us tonight. We’ll see you next week on HeAt! End Show