Womens Era Second) 09

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WOMAN ’S ERA

COUPLES

WHY ARE SHYING AWAY FROM

PARENTHOOD?

KEEPING

TREND WITH MOD

GADGETS: TIPS SEX GIVE

DOES POSITIVE LIFE

FEEDBACK? THE PLACE

HOUSES

WHICH MONUMENTAL

MARVELS

JULY (SECOND) 2009

COMPRISES A SIZE ‘0’ BODY

WHAT

GOODNESS OF LEISURE TRAVEL THE

THE MAN

WHO MOBILISED

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

AND SENT IT INTO BATTLE

JULY (SECOND) 2009 Vol 36, Issue No. 855

BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

CONTENTS Founder: Vishwa Nath

womansera.com

(1917-2002)

78

BOMBAY FILMDOM

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DOUBLE INCOME, NO KIDS THE NEW MANTRA? Sudha Chandrasekaran

14

GET AWAY, RECHARGE AND CREATE MEMORIES!

HEALTH DIET FOOD FOR THOUGHT K. V. Venugopal

Kasturi Rangachari

ARTICLES LATEST GADGETS FOR YOU Anoop Verma

68

ETERNAL ELLORA

Rajib Sen

82

MOTHER-LOVE WHEN DOES IT FIRST STRIKE Kasturi Rangachari

71 MONSOON NECESSITATES REMOVAL OF MOULD FROM HOMES

LOST YOUR LIBIDO? GET IT BACK

NK Pant

Vikas Kumar Jain

74 A LIFT IN THE HOUSE K. M. Sharma

92 IN PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE Subhra

96 THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS LIKE!

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LAC ORNAMENTS ARE AGAIN BECOMING POPULAR Kusum Mehta

COOKERY 46 A VEG-NON-VEG MIX 48 FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS ● ●

Sonam Agrawal

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FICTION

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26 A WOMAN LIKE NANDITA Kasturi Rangachari

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38 THE PECULIAR MAN Leena Raj

A QUESTION OF PURITY Gayatri T Rao

CHURICHILL’S WIT Smita Shenoy

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Mango Pickle Tamatar Chutney with Green Mangoes Mango Pickle with Asafoetida Chillies and Ginger in Vinegar Chillies with Jaggery Corn and Crushed Chillies Green Chillies with Mustard and Mint Amra Pickle Black Jamuns Stewed Stewed Fresh Cherries Mango Pickle with Jaggery

glass re. Pour into room temperatu the lid on the jar. put days. bottles and sun for 8-10 Keep in the even a year if care for Stays good Take out keep it clean. one is taken to of mango at Put only a few pieces a clean spoon. sun time using in the and keep it back the lid aachar is time. This from time to has a fine spicy but METHOD green mangoes not very saunf . Tastes Choose raw raw and aroma of hing and ly absolute a which are good with patties. to ripen even have not started and dark green METHOD Cut into Choose hard and tomatoes . little. well the of Wash eyes . Wash these remove the into mangoes quarter-i nch pieces. halves and and then cut cut into haldi powder the tomatoes all the seeds. Sprinkle salt and steel Remove the quarters. in a clean mango, removesmall and keep with a muslin Peel the to cut into very in a container . Cover the mangoes kernel and these pieces cloth and allow or even at room ENTS: pieces. Run a paste. green in the sun so that INGREDI of very small mixture to obtainquantity of the oil dry ure for 2 days is 200 gm Thai chillies rlic temperat Heat half the the moisture chillies called cut into julienne Add the ginger-gaMix most of ginger in a kadhai. d. a 1 cup of for a minute. add salt evaporate the hing to obtain paste and stir-fry pieces pieces and Crush the saunf in the tomato with a lid and cook Also dry-grind in vinegar and ginger of the powder. to taste. Cover heat till most have to obtain a powder. of the Chillies on medium the quantity hing the tomatoes Heat half add the mango moisture from and the oil in for Mix to splutter for 2 mustard evaporat ed. stage. Stir-fry chilli powder and allow add the saunf paste at this Now, for mix in the green more 30 seconds. to splutter minutes and and allow and powder mango paste and haldi and cooking on powder Mix in the stirring 30 seconds. gently. Put off the salt. Keep minutes, stir another 3-4 spices. pieces and low fire for a time at mix in the remaining oil a little at oil has heat, heat the remaining adding the Once all the another pan the short intervals. and the aachar is In and pour over up mustard oil been used the heat. or mango pieces. dry, put off 4 cups of vinegar Put into spiced to cool to more or less enough to temperature. for Allow Cool to room cover the with aachar is ready bottles. The 2 weeks Mango pickle chillies and stay good for asafoetida use and will in the fridge. ginger without keeping pakoras. kachories or 2 tsp of salt with Serve METHOD stems only Remove the leave and from the chillies ginger and Peel the Wash these whole. julienne pieces. cut into thin all the moisture. well and pat-dry and chillies into a Place the gingerthe vinegar and 1 INGREDIENTS: glass jar. Pour green 1 kg of raw 47 mangoes oil 1 litre of mustard (Second) 2009

1 kg tomatoes weighing around 1 green mango 300 gm powder 1/ tsp of haldi 2 rlic paste 3-4 tsp of ginger-ga paste 3 tsp of tamarind paste chilli 2 tsp of green oil 1 cup of mustard salt to taste

time. It is pickling ity Put creativ s into your pickle and enjoy these throughout the year. By Roma Ghosh

MANGO PICKLE

INGREDIENTS: mangoes green 1 kg of raw oil 1 litre of mustard powder 2 tsp of haldi a powder – 1/ tsp of asafoetid 2

TASTE BUDS

one time mango at pieces of Put back the green mangoes using a clean spoon. the sun from Choose raw raw and keep it in absolute ly a lid and aachar goes which are to ripen even e to time. This have not started and dark green time with pulao or vegetabl hard well little. Choose well and Wash these biryani. mangoes. nch pieces. cut into quarter-ihaldi powder and steel Sprinkle salt in a clean and keep a muslin with Cover to container . the mangoes cloth and allow or even at room sun so that dry in the days 2 for is temperat ure the moisture most of

TAMATAR CHUTNEY N WITH GREE MANGOES

of the evaporated. the quantity hing INGREDIENTS: Heat half and add the for mustard oil allow to splutter mango powder and Mix in the 30 seconds. gently. Put off the stir Mix pieces and 2 the spice powder. the heat, mix in pan heat fenugreek well. In another oil and pour 2 cloves mustard seeds remaining 2 tsp of mustard mango pieces. the spiced room over could cool to METHOD is spicy. You bottles Allow to This aachar Put into glass red chillies amount of temperature. on the jar. Keep in reduce the lid the firy. put less it Stays good ts for and if you want 8-10 days. the ingredien the sun for is taken to Dry-roast all Cool to room for even a year if care only a few a the spice powder. Take out grind to clean. it and keep tempera ture aside. mixer. Keep 2009 powder in a July (Second) Woman’s Era

powder powder 2 tsp of amchur powder chilli 2 tsp of red salt 5-6 tsp of

CHILLIES AND GINGER IN VINEGAR

Mango pickle

FOR YOUR

hing 5-6 tsp of salt powder: For the spice powder – aniseed 2 tsp of saunf powder powder 2 tsp of amchur chillies red seeds 20-25 dried jeera – onion 1 tsp of kala seeds – 1/ tsp of methi

powder 2 tsp of haldi powder - hing 11/2 tsp of asafoetida – aniseed powder 2 tsp of saunf

MANGO PICKLE WITH ASAFOETIDA

Tamatar chutney green mangoes

with

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Jackfruit Pickle Mixed Pickle Lotus Stem Pickle Bitter Gourd Stuffed Pickle Chole Pickle

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July

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FASHION

NEWS IN PICTURES

41 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND

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134 CROSSWORD

EMBELLISHMENT TO BEAUTY

139 BABY CLUB 146 AS YOU SAY

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UTILITY CONTAINERS

FEATURES 24 BEAUTY QUERIES 44 CHILD CHALLENGES 95 YOUR BODY MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...

36 58 THE WAYS YOU CAN WEAR

ACCENTUATING FEMININITY YOUR HAIR Editor, Publisher & Printer PARESH NATH Printed at Delhi Press Samachar Patra Pte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad, Ghaziabad and Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055 and published on behalf of Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. from E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. E-mail: [email protected] EDITORIAL, ADVERTISEMENT & PUBLICATION OFFICE Delhi Press Building, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110 055. Phone: 41398821, 41398888. Fax: 91-11-23625020 The names of characters used in all fiction and semi-fiction articles are fictitious. COPYRIGHT NOTICE © Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. New Delhi-110 055. India.

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Page 134

EDITORIAL HOMOSEXUALITY COMMOTION

I

t is believed that Adam and Eve were living happily in the Garden of Eden until Adam, prompted by the Serpent, took a bite from the forbidden apple. And thus began sexual relationship between them marking the commencement of sexual reproduction among human race. But no one knows when and how sexual relations between the members of same sex began. It is, however, certain that homosexuality and lesbianism are as old as the human civilisation. And the gays and lesbians, as the men and women having carnal relations are known respectively, had never taken a bite from any forbidden apple. But as a social perversion, the phenomenon existed since time immemorial. No one is sure what made the British rulers to bring a law (Section 377 of IPC) against homosexuality in circa 1860, that is, during the period when the BritishIndian forces were on an annexation drive. Perhaps they might have seen that the soldiers, who were long away from their homes and families, were making relations with one another. So they (the British) enacted Section 377 of IPC making homosexuality a cognisable crime. In independent India, Section 377 of IPC was retained in our Constitution as it is and homosexuality continued to be treated as an outlawed behaviour if not as a crime. But there is hardly any incidence, when any person, man or woman, has been punished for having homosexual relations. Recent ruling of Justices A.P. Shah and S. Muralidharan of Delhi High Court in favour of homosexuality puts a big question mark on the validity of the said law. The justices have observed that this Section violates the fundamental right to freedom and equality of an individual granted to him or her under the various sections and sub-sections of our Constitution. Meanwhile, the ruling that has come at a juncture when a debate was about to start in Parliament over the issue has sent a wave of cheer among the gays and lesbians. At the same time, it has shocked various sections of society. Although, many nations, including the USA, the UK, and many western European and Southeast Asian countries have now granted homosexuality a legal status, but it has not done any good to the respective societies. On the contrary, it has emboldened the sexually perverted men and women to observe and celebrate a number of awkward

6

events like gay day and lesbian day, etc. Their actions seem to be directed at making mockery of the social norms including the pious institution of marriage. Proponents of the gay rights hail Delhi High Court’s ruling declaring it a victory of their prolonged struggle. They argue that why should India still cling to the British period law while even our old masters have already scrapped it in England according homosexuality social as well as legal acceptance. Our Parliament is exactly going to discuss this point. In the light of this, Delhi High Court’s ruling has come somewhat in haste. Its motive is also rather obscure. Now something about the social implications of homosexuality. Without doubt, it is an outcome of perverted minds. The phenomenon perhaps is an outcome of too many taboos put on boys and girls in a society. Psychologists maintain that homosexual behaviour takes its roots during the childhood years. Earlier, it is out of curiosity. But with time, it is corrected by itself. But if it continues among the adults then it is nothing but perversion. Sometimes, it arises out of frustration among adult men and women. But it is by no means an excuse to seek social and legal acceptance for this perversion. There are many other creative ways to give vent to this frustration. Homos and lesbians must explore them. The society too ought to take a look at various taboos inflicting growing minds of young children and make sure that they grow with healthy sexual outlook without facing any sexual risk. Moreover, at least male and female union is required for the continuation of progeny. Any diversion from this natural requirement would lead to social disorder. Even the sexually reproducing animals don’t indulge in such perversion as homosexuality. Therefore, homosexuality and lesbianism have no room in the society because their acts are against the natural laws though they talk about the human rights. In such a situation, sex education becomes all the more important. It is high time to start a fresh debate about including it in school curriculum. Further, it must be asked if by legalising homosexuality will it lead to decline in sexual crimes against women and minor girls. No such decline is seen in societies where homosexuality is legalised. So what purpose would it serve in India to legalise homosexuality? Perhaps nothing except some groups of gays and lesbians holding rallies, displaying placards and rejoicing over their so-called victory.

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

write to: [email protected] We

In today’s high-pressure lifestyle, does having children have a place? By Sudha Chandrasekaran

re you a successful couple with steadily rising bank balance? Are you one of those pairs who love to take off to a late-night movie without having worry about kids? Do you get jitters when you think of having kids and prefer this life instead? Then you are one of those, leading a DINK lifestyle. This acronym appeared for the first time in Pat Buchanan’s best-selling book The Death of the West. Short for “Double Income, No Kids,” it refers to thousands of couples in urban centres leading such a lifestyle. It is a growing phenomenon. Society is facing a culture shock these days. Earlier, a couple was expected to have a baby within almost a year of marriage. These days, with higher pay packets and both husband and wife working, success is coming easily and they can afford a pretty lavish lifestyle. They get so used to leading an easy life that they forget the joy that children bring. Though a DINK lifestyle is enjoyable, it is not so forever. After a point, you will start feeling shallow yourself and would want something more than just money and comfort.

A

DOUBLE INCOME, NO KIDS

?

THE NEW MANTRA

More and more young married couples are hitting the pay dirt, thanks to double incomes. But their deepening pockets do not mean a fuller familial life, as they aren’t blinking before going the DINK way. DINK couples have found alternative pleasures to procreation. They are impulsive shoppers, eat out frequently and take dream vacations. This, they say, gives more joy than a child would. Daring to go against the tide, defying accepted modes of tradition, they have chosen their passions, be it travel, music, dance or cooking. Children, they feel, are a hindrance in their path. “We believe that parenting is like a career. I don’t believe in multi-tasking of any kind when it comes to children. If I have a child, I would want to stay at home, enjoy his or her growing up and contribute to the child’s character. At this stage of my life, neither my husband nor I are ready to do that,” says Preethi. Rahul and Preethi hope to retire from their respective jobs by the time they turn 45 and invest their time and money in travelling the world together with backpacks. Rakhee and Nikhil say they’re dedicated to their passion — dance — and they trot across the globe giving performances. “Dance — that’s our baby. We’re exploring our creative passion and I don’t think anything satisfies us more than this. We’re attached to each other, we’re like two bodies and one soul and do not see the need for an another person,” says Rakhee.

live the rest of their lives hassle-free,” observes Dr Rao. Also, the fear of taking on the huge responsibility of bringing up kids which involves a lot of sacrifice, patience and adjustments looms large in the minds of DINK. Time rather than money is a constraint for these couples when it comes to planning for a long holiday. They try to squeeze in a couple of short breaks each year. Rajath and Shailaja have just returned from their UK trip, which cost them about Rs two lakh. “We have my sister there, so our expenses were much less,” says Rajath.

CONSUMPTION PATTERNS Couples enjoy a fairly long holiday once in a year or once in every two years. They spend around Rs 15,000 on each of the short trips. “A major part of our expenses goes towards buying souvenirs or small gifts for relatives and friends. For instance, we picked up tea bags and eucalyptus oil from Ooty, and homemade chocolates from Kodaikanal, during our vacation there last year,” add the Guptas. Consumption patterns in metros have undergone metamorphic changes in the last five years from education, health and basic

essentials to entertainment, fitness centre, eating out and personal care etc, due to the rise in the disposable income of individuals, availability of credit and increasing number of dualincome nuclear families. In a survey done by the Associated Chamber of Commerce and Industry of India (ASSOCHAM) on Changing Consumption Pattern of a city like Delhi, as a result of rising income levels, nearly 75 per cent couples falling in the DINK category with about Rs 6-8 lakh income per annum, roughly spend Rs 15,000-20,000 on entertainment, shopping, fitness centres, eating out and branded wear articles, almost every month. 45 per

TREND GROWING DINK is a growing trend in every metropolis, thinks Dr Kamini Rao, founder of Bangalore Conception Assisted Centre. From one child it’s heading to a no-child scenario. Even women have no issues pooh-poohing the concept of having children and motherhood. “Economic indepen dence, greed and odd timings are prime reason for DINK. Which IT couple will want to be tied down with a child and family given their every second’s worth? They would rather retire with a good bank balance and 10

THE FEAR OF TAKING ON THE HUGE RESPONSIBILITY OF BRINGING UP KIDS WHICH INVOLVES A LOT OF SACRIFICE, PATIENCE AND ADJUSTMENTS LOOMS LARGE IN THE MINDS OF DINK.

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

MOST ADULTS RECEIVED LOVE AND CARE FROM THEIR PARENTS. I THINK IT IS RATHER SELFISH IF THEY DO NOT THEN BEAR CHILDREN AND PAY OUT THE SAME LOVE AND CARE THEIR PARENTS GAVE THEM. cent of other DINK couples who do not have any budget but use a substantial part of their income for loan repayment like EMIs add up to over Rs 20,000 a month for mortgages, and spend about Rs 5,000-10,000 on non-essential items. The ASSOCHAM finding stated that all the working couples with no kids appear to have one expense in common — i.e. eating out. The reason is that with the tough schedules and late work hours that their jobs demand, couples, especially those who are into MNCs, computer professionals, sales and marketing et al, feel that it is practical

to eat out rather than return home and cook. For most DINK couples, shopping is a weekly affair whether it’s for the essentials or otherwise. While Namrata is an impulsive buyer — “If I set my heart on something, I need to get it then and there” — Sundaresan has more control over himself. “He splurges too, but after giving it a thought, unlike me,” says Namrata. They spend mostly on clothes, accessories and occasionally on electronic gadgets.

BALANCING ACT Amrit, an impulsive shopper, says his wife, Akila, “knows the fine balance between spending and splurging, and makes sure she has saved for a rainy day.” They always have a friendly fight over what has been bought and how to put it to good use. Akila’s impulses are limited to trinkets and cosmetics, while

Amrit’s include a home-theatre system, iPod and laptop among other things. All the couples agree that the absence of kids in their lives gives them room to splurge. “This is a period in our lives where we are making the best of our reasonable financial freedom as well as lack of the responsibility of rearing children. When we were married four years ago, neither of us had the resources to spend impulsively, so we are making up for it with a vengeance now,” says Vandana. Why do more and more couples choose not to have children? Several older generation people think that it is to have more freedom. They regard this as an irresponsible choice. “I know they have free choice, but if every family does not bear children, the human race would become extinct,” argued Mangesh, a retired middle schoolteacher. “Most adults received love and care from their parents. I think it is rather selfish if they do not then bear children and pay out the same love and care their parents gave them.”

However, couples have their own reasons for having DINK families Says Nanditha, a woman in her late 20s, married for nearly five years now, “Life for my husband and me is easy and romantic. If we had a child it would spoil everything. We enjoy travelling, taking photos, reading books, exercising and enjoying all the delicious foods — so having a baby is not in our plans. Life is short, we’d like to use all our money and time to enjoy life itself.” But not all DINK families have such hedonistic attitudes. The Banerjees, who live in Delhi and have been married for three years, also believe that a child might ruin their marital harmony, but in a different way. “My wife and I often overhear our neighbours quarreling with each other on issues related to the upbringing of their only daughter. Therefore, we worry that, if we had a child, the same thing would Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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happen. The idea of day care does not appeal to us because of the horrible stories we hear about the caregivers’ treatment of the children there and we believe in bringing up the child ourselves rather than by any other person.” Many women worry about the course of gestation and giving birth. “It must be painful,” said Leena, a young college lecturer, “though medicine has developed greatly. I know women still die during childbirth. Besides, giving birth will damage a woman’s figure.” Pressures and competition at work are other factors. Shahnaz, a government official has been married for four years to a company manager. She said that she loved children very much, but that she and her husband were so busy that they were unable to take the idea into consideration. “Also, the competition in our company is intense. If I have a child and leave my position temporarily, someone else is sure to take my place.” Many couples also worry that they cannot afford to have a child. Besides, books, clothes and toys, children are becoming more and more expensive. Seeing other children possessing those luxuries, children of parents who cannot afford them, might tend to develop an inferiority complex and might even resent their parents. The difficulties of life, and the troubles all children

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must face, also scare many couples. Every year they see college graduates fighting so hard to land a job. In the future, this kind of competition will only get tougher. They feel that they have had enough of all this and do not want to bring a life into the world just for the baby to suffer like they did. And there again are some couples who do not have enough confidence in their marriage.

RIGHT OF CHOICE “I do not believe in romantic love and pledges,” says a software engineer in TCS, Chennai. “If I divorced my husband, the child would be hurt. We do not have the right to heap our faults on an innocent child.” However, the cost of freedom for DINK families is another set of pressures and worries. Many think that the DINK idea is bad for the stability of a marriage. “I was married for six years, but it all came to nothing in the end,” said Rekha. “I used to think that marriage without a child was free and easy, but I never thought that it would lead my marriage into a tomb.” At the beginning, after getting married, Rekha was afraid that having a baby would change her figure and bring a premature end to her sweet married life, so having a child was put off. Her mother-in-law

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

THEY FEEL THAT THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THIS AND DO NOT WANT TO BRING A LIFE INTO THE WORLD JUST FOR THE BABY TO SUFFER LIKE THEY DID. AND THERE AGAIN ARE SOME COUPLES WHO DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE IN THEIR MARRIAGE. was unhappy about it. Rekha conceived twice by accident but both times, the couple decided on an abortion. Time passed and eventually the couple decided they were ready to have a child. However, the medical examination found that the two abortions had damaged Rekha’s reproductive system, and there was no hope of a pregnancy. Her husband and her mother-in-law could not accept it and blamed her for her selfishness. The quarrel in the family went on and Rekha’s husband divorced her in the end. In real life, many families without love are saved by their children. Though a child cannot guarantee a stable marriage, families without children face more serious tests. Despite the fact that DINK couples face troubles and social pressure, these couples are getting more understanding from society these days. “Perhaps who choose not to have children pay more attention to present happiness. They cherish their relationship with their spouses more than parenthood. Many think that DINK couples are not responsible or kind-hearted, but I do not think so,” says Professor Mathur, a leading sociologist. “Everyone has the right to choose their way of life. Others may not agree with their choices, but the right of choice should be respected. A civilised and mature society should tolerate and We understand diversification.”

ven a couple of decades ago, Indians weren’t much into leisure travelling. Poor transport and communication facilities, discomfort with new and strange surroundings, uneasiness with unfamiliar cuisines, guilt arising from the conviction that trips, unless essential, were selfindulgent and that the money spent on them was better saved – these and a host of other reasons kept Indians at home. But all that has changed, and today Indians, old and young,are all too ready to pack their bags and take off the minute they have the time and the money!

E

And why has this change in thinking taken place? For many reasons. Economic reforms have opened up the country and let the world in – and Indians out. Foreign exchange restrictions have been eased, liberalisation has created a new and large class of entrepreneurs and lots of people have lots of money. And so leisure travel has taken off!

Everyone can travel: Today most people love to travel – and not just the young, adventurous and restless. Practically everyone has realised the advantages of travelling – of getting away from it all, of taking a break, of

GET AWAY,

RECHARGE AND CREATE MEMORIES! Why leisure travel is good for you. By Kasturi Rangachari

TOUR OPERATORS OFTEN KEEP THEIR AGE IN MIND WHEN PLANNING TRIPS FOR SENIOR CITIZENS. BUT NOT ALL THEIR CLIENTS LIKE BEING TOLD THAT THEY ARE TOO OLD TO DO IT ALL!

disconnecting and taking time off to smell the roses along the path of life. In fact, leisure travel has become part of the routine lifestyle of many people. And all of them benefit from it. Leisure travel is the greatest stress buster possible. Yes, even just a two-day weekend away from a hectic work schedule (and who doesn’t have one now, even if one is a stay-at-home “unemployed” mum?) 16

is refreshing and revitalising. Today’s jobs are high-pressure, stressful ones and getting away for a complete change has become a psychological necessity. If you spend a weekend at home, you tend to brood about work problems and even if you don’t, you sleep or eat too much as you try to get the energy to tackle postponed chores or to play with the kids. You then start the next week feeling stale, exhausted and low-spirited. But if you leave home and take off for some getaway –- without taking your laptop with you! – everything changes. You find yourself in a refreshingly unfamiliar place with new things to see and do. The very air, the ambience itself, is different. You cannot follow your usual routine, and have to think out what you want to do, see, eat, etc. And you have choices. You can decide to lie in the open in a lounger staring up at the sky, to go trekking, to teach your five-year-old swimming – your time, the commodity that is in such short supply these days – is your own to spend as you like! And if you decide just to eat and sleep, for some reason, this doesn’t make you feel heavy and drugged – it refreshes you!

Experience the change: And – boy – do you enjoy being in control even if it is only for a couple of days! Your batteries get recharged and you come back full of energy and vitality. It has even been proved that regular breaks prevent early burnout in taxing jobs. A getaway also gives you the perfect opportunity to disconnect from your regular life. And when you do this, you get a new perspective on things. An ex-student of mine told me that he had decided to give up his excellent job in Switzerland, move back to India and start a microbanking organisation while on a much-needed holiday. “I suddenly realised that I did not want to spend my life as I was spending it – moving from country to country, earning pots of money but being away from my Woman’s Era

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aging parents. No, I wanted to come back to India and do something that would make a difference to people,” he told me. Tour operators often keep their age in mind when planning trips for senior citizens. But not all their clients like being told that they are too old to do it all! I remember my mother speaking to a tour planner who had told her that she would have just one outing a day while in Bali. “We don’t want to overdo things now, do we?” he asked coyly with a benign smile. My mother glared at him. “You may not want to, but put everything back into my programme!” she ordered tartly. “I’m not going to Bali to count the clouds! I want to see it all, do it all!” My mother, unfortunately like too few oldies, was determined to do everything that she had always wanted to while she could still do it. So, till illness made it impossible, she took off once a year, with two likeminded friends, for regions unknown. The threesome would go with a tour company which specialised in organising tours for pensioners. She frequently told me that she was grateful for the fact that I never told her that she was too old to go off like that and that I would worry myself to death if she did so. But how could I do anything other than check out her tour thoroughly, make sure that I had the phone number and address of every hotel that she’d be staying in and get her international phone cards for the countries she would be travelling to, when she came back each time looking exhilarated and happy and 10 years younger?

Broadening out: Travelling gives one tremendous opportunities for novelty, fun, adventure and discovery. In fact, one cannot be a complete human being who has a full life unless one has travelled and seen the world. Travelling completes one’s education and this was why, in the past, British aristocrats sent their children for the “Grand Tour” after they completed their studies. This

was mainly a tour of the cultural centres of Europe. Today too, youngsters in the developed world often take a gap year and either backpack their way through countries that interest them, join the Peace Corps or an NGO in a third world country to work in an area they consider interesting and important or do something else that’s not similar. The reason why they do this is that they want to experience a different kind of life to the one that they grew up leading. Travelling to a previously unknown region or country helps you understand people who are different from you. You see their way of life and their culture first hand. You learn a little about their history, their architecture, their arts and crafts, their cuisine and other aspects of their life. You appreciate the similarities and differences between you and them.

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All this widens your mind. A very conservative home-bird cousin of mine who had hardly ever travelled outside her home state of Tamil Nadu was, a couple of years ago, forced by circumstances to go to Rajkot in Gujarat to see her sister-in-law through the last stages of a troublesome pregnancy. My cousin went, dreading the two months which she would have to spend there. But when I met her after her return, she talked non-stop about the wonderful friends she had made in Rajkot, the wonders of Gujarati cuisine, Gujarati customs and their similarity to Tamil customs and the like. That single visit had opened her mind and made her realise that different didn’t mean frightening or unacceptable. It had made her ready to embrace change. Perhaps she then understood what Hellen Keller meant when she said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Or Mark Twain’s words, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do.” Travel increases our knowledge and widens our perspectives. For instance, I knew that medieval Italy had witnessed the Renaissance, but it took a trip to Rome and Florence

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for me – not at all the artistic sort –to understand what that actually meant. As I stared dazed at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, as I wandered through the Uffizi Gallery and gazed at the works of Da Vinci, Donatello, Titian (and understood why bright golden auburn hair was called titian!), Botticelli, Raphael and many other artists, as I was rendered speechless by Michelangelo’s David in the Galleria del Academia, I began to vaguely comprehend what art was all about and also developed a good deal of respect for a civilisation that produced such stupendous art. I also began to think seriously about how we Indians should do a better job of preserving our own cultural legacy. When I came back, I took an online course in art appreciation and began to contribute to organisations involved in preserving our cultural heritage. Travel had opened my eyes and made my mind grow. As Miriam Beard wrote, “Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that is made, deep and permanent, on a person’s ideas of living.”

Travel options: Today there are organisations that can customise a tour for you. A friend of mine actually wanted to study Tuscan cuisine and got a trip tailor-made for her. She then went to Tuscany where she interacted, first, with a woman who had specialised in traditional Tuscan cuisine and taught it in a catering college, and then moved through the region meeting housewives, chefs, etc. She didn’t open a restaurant serving Tuscan cuisine when she returned to Mumbai, but she did serve it to friends at home! More important, she had done something she had wanted to do for a long time and enjoyed herself immensely while doing it. Another young couple I knew wanted to find another couple interested in touring Europe for two months on the Eurostar train, on a shoestring budget. They found such a couple on the Internet and then the four of them had a memorable

ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE THE SAME UNDER THE SKIN. ALL HUMAN BEINGS LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME THINGS, WE ALL WANT THE SAME THINGS FROM LIFE.

holiday. They bought some sort of season ticket for the train and hopped on and off it whenever a town they were passing seemed interesting. They knew Europe backwards by the time they got back! Not only that, they had done something unusual and adventurous that not many people do and this gave them a great deal of self-confidence. And since the couple they had travelled with was from Thailand, they learnt a lot about that country, its cuisine, its customs and practices and its language.

INDIA’S WONDERS But one needn’t go abroad to learn things or see them in a new light. Our country is so diverse that we can learn an immense amount by travelling within it. A neighbour of mine decided to go on a tour of Karnataka with his son after the boy had finished his tenth standard Boards. They had the time of their lives and when they came back the boy remarked thoughtfully, “Kannadigas are so great. It’s a pity that we Tamilians fight so much with them over water.” That boy was definitely looking at the ongoing problem Tamil Nadu has over sharing the water of the Kaveri

with Karnataka, in a new and more mature way. This understanding of others, this ability to see things from a new perspective, is, I feel, the greatest benefit of leisure travel. We all find the strange and unfamiliar, threatening and scary and we tend to avoid it. People with skin of a different colour, with features distinct from ours, who perhaps talk the same language, but do so with a an accent so unfamiliar that we can barely understand them, are all strange and even frightening and we often don’t know how to interact with them and so often avoid them. And in the same way we are avoided by them. I have experienced this several times during trips abroad when my husband and I have been the only Indians in the group and the others have all been white Westerners. Everyone smiled politely at us, but left us severely alone. Perhaps they thought that we couldn’t understand English. Perhaps they couldn’t get beyond the prominent red bindi on my forehead and see me as a person. But things invariably changed as soon as we struck up a conversation and made it clear that not only did we Woman’s Era

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both know English, but that we were interested in and could talk about the same topics as they. Suddenly, we were part of the group and were included in the conversation, the jokes and the camaraderie. And when you talk, joke and share experiences with others, you realise one important thing. All human beings are the same under the skin. All human beings laugh and cry at the same things, we all want the same things from life, relationships are important to all of us, we all search for love and approval and the same things hurt us. And once you see people as exactly like you, you understand them and understanding is the first step to striking up friendships or, going into more serious territory, even to resolving disagreements.

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Don’t, for instance, say that you’ll travel when the children are older. Who knows whether you’ll be able to then? So, just plan a trip around your kids and get started. Plan Disneyland and nature trails instead of the Louvre and archaeological sites! You should grab the moment because it hasn’t been so cheap to travel for a long time. Low oil prices mean low air fares and the recession means that tour companies, airlines and hotels are all fighting for your custom. Within the given parameters, plan a trip of the type and duration that is right for you. Are you a culture vulture or the water sports sort? Do you want

the regular package tour or one that takes you off the beaten track? A two-day cruise or a trip around the world? Do you want to travel with a pack or independently? As for cost, you can spend different amounts on the same trip. So plan according to your budget. Cheap dormitories or five-star luxury? First class or budget airlines? There are an enormous variety of options and anything and everything is possible! Once you’ve settled on the details of your trip, start doing your homework. You will enjoy the things and places you see more, if you know something about them. So surf the Internet. Blogs too will get you a lot of pointers from people who have done the same type of tour. Definitely get yourself medical 20

insurance when you book your tour. Many countries have made it compulsory and you can’t get a visa if you don’t have it. But it’s worth getting it even if it is not compulsory. Heaven forbid you fall ill on your trip, you will certainly need it. But read the fine print on the policy document to make sure that it covers most eventualities. Pack sensibly. It is better that you travel as light as possible. Porters are often not available or they cost a lot and most of the time, you will have to carry your own stuff. Go to the Internet and you will find websites that tell you what you need to pack and what you don’t need to. But don’t plan to buy necessities at your destination. You will find it difficult to get things at a reasonable price on Woman’s Era

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the tourist circuit and may also have problems getting the locals to understand your needs. I remember that my husband decided not to take razors with him when we went to China, but found the free razors provided in our hotel rooms too light to use and wanted sturdier ones. We then spent all our free time searching shops and trying to get shop assistants to understand what we needed! It took us a long time to realise that as Chinese men have light beards and therefore need less sharp razors, only that type is available in most Chinese shops! A useful quotation from Susan Heller: “ When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half your clothes and twice the money.” Hotel rooms sometimes have small packets of detergent in the bathrooms, but it is better to take some with you – or a cake of washing soap if you prefer that. Hotels charge a bomb to wash clothes, so plan to wash at least your lighter clothes and your undergarments yourself. But do this only when you are staying more than a day at a place or you may be left with wet clothes to pack. So take the plunge! Take time off and experience what life has to offer. Don’t postpone it or decide to wait. There may not be a better time or lower prices. Venture forth and live life lifesize! You’ll come back and start planning your next trip right away! We

Lenovo products launched

How Napoleon died

A model poses with newly unveiled Lenovo products in New Delhi. Lenovo launched several new products including a singleunit desktop PC, Lenovo (300 and ultra-thin notebooks Lenovo S10-2 with a starting price range of Rs 22,490.

Kidney specialist Danish doctor Arne Soerensen (L) and his wife Birte are seen at their home in the northern Danish city of Aalborg. The doctor has written a book ‘Napoleon’s kidneys’ revealing that Napoleon died of a kidney infection and not of poisoning.

The “Gorch Fock” training tall ship of the German Navy takes part in tall ship parade at the Kiel Week sailing event at the port of Kiel, northern Germany.

Centre of violin production

Tall Ship Parade

A worker whittles wood to make a violin at a musical instrument factory in Pinggu, on the outskirts of Beijing. The district has become one of the world’s centres of violin production in just 20 years.

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Tribute to Michael Jackson

An artist draws a portrait of pop star Michael Jackson in the street of Medellin, Colombia. A Malaysian fan writes a message in tribute to Jackson on a white board during a vigil organised to remember the pop legend in Kuala Lumpur. Jackson’s death has sent shockwaves across the world.

An intelligent robot

Brazilian computing engineering student makes some adjustments to an intelligent robot invented to play football, ahead of the 2009 RoboCup FEI engineering university in Sao Bernardo do campo in Brazil. Some 400 robot teams originating from 40 countries are competing in the RoboCup in Austria.

Madonna’s nude images

Green principles

A view of Spanish vintner Josep Maria Albet i Noya’s vineyard and processing plant in Sant Pau d’Ordal near Barcelona. As a vegetarian and an environmentalist, Josep decided in the late 1970s that going organic matched his green principles. A television cameraman films nude images of US musician Madonna displayed in a gallery in Central London. Madonna posed for the black and whites at the age of 20 when she was modelling in New York to pay her way through dancing school.

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QA &

some oil also comes to the surface. However, to fight it, you just apply a very thin slice of apple to your oily area. If you have access to real buttermilk from which all fat has been removed use that as a face wash. Egg white in a face pack is also good to control oiliness.

Q& A I had a patch of pink skin at the base of my neck at the back. The doctor said it was Leucoderma. He was able to stop its spread but he also forbade me from going out in sun. Will it get worse if I am in the sun? Yes, the sun’s effect on skin which in any case has less melanin can make the problem worse. If you have only one affected spot, it would be better to take precautions than be sorry later. You have obviously con sulted the doctor well in time, and so might as well get the full benefit of that and take all the needed precautions.

The skin on my knees and elbows seems very rough and dry. What can I do? We often ignore these areas of our body and they get neglected and rough skin builds up. Make a paste of one tsp milk powder, half an egg white and half tsp lemon juice. Apply to the area and leave for a few minutes before washing off. Also, you can massage olive oil at night to soften the skin here.

I tend to get a film of oiliness on my face most of the time. I work from home and do not use much make-up, so I wonder how to combat this in the most natural way. Well, oiliness in the morning as you wake up or after a few hours is not unhealthy as, when you sweat, 24

With constant exposure to sun my blemishes tend to show more. What can I do to make them lighten up? You have not mentioned your age. However, you should take fresh carrot, grate it and use the liquid with cotton on your blemishes. Dab it and let it dry naturally. Regular use will affect the blemishes. Also, consult a dermatologist to ensure there is no deep-set reason for these blemishes.

I want a quick-fix body exfoliator which is soothing and effective in summer. What should I do which can be ready in a short time? Grind some almonds and keep them ready – they should not be powder but effective as exfoliation material. Mix some fresh mint leaves and a teaspoon of honey. Apply on your body and leave on for a few minutes. Then rub it in with small circular movements and this will help you get rid of dead skin as also boost blood circulation.

My friends tell me that washing hair with beer makes it good but nobody in my home drinks beer and I don’t want to buy beer just for my hair. What do I do? In beer it is the glycerine and hops content that is good for the hair. You can make an easy alternative with barley water. Add some lemon juice to it and use it as a last rinse. Or you can make a mix of egg white, lemon juice and some barley water and apply to your scalp. Shampoo after half an hour and then use barley water and lemon juice for a last rinse. Do not put plain water after that. Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

How long does it take to recover from Botox treatment and how do I find out if it is what I need? I am 32 and have deep frown lines. The Botox injection procedure does not take more than 10 minutes and officially there is no ‘recovery time’. You can resume your normal activities almost immediately after walking out of the therapists. How effective it would be in your individual case only a practitioner can evaluate after checking out the depth of the lines. Essentially, it freezes the muscle of the area, so you cannot frown any more.

I want to know if there is a natural way to bleach facial hair. I do not want to use chemical market bleaches on my face. Natural bleach works slowly and the results are not dramatic. You can dry orange skin in winter and powder it, mix a teaspoon with milk and apply to your face for 20 minutes. This will also help with skin-conditioning and lighten the hair.

While everybody is complaining about oily skin in summer, I still combat a very dry skin and do not know how to get rid of dry patches around my forehead. Do check that it is dryness and not dandruff. You can use the heavy cream that you get on milk and mix with ripe papaya mash. Add oatmeal powder, so it stays on your face and apply it thrice a week. Wash off after 20 minutes.

I am 21 and my problem is the tan that summer invariably brings. I try to put sunblock but it wears off. How can I rid myself of this suntan on any face and feet which is much worse? Make a mix of egg white and honey and apply it to your face and even feet. Leave it there for a 20 minutes before washing off. You should apply a thicker coat of sun screen on your feet as they get terribly tanned, as at least for the face you have dark glasses, etc.

Should we have a shower before or after the swim? What is better for the hair? Your hair is porous and can take water and retains it. So, if you wash it only with water just before you enter the pool the damage caused by chlorine would be minimal. And if you wash it with shampoo after your swim then your hair would be rid of any chlorine you have accumulated.

Since we sweat so much during summer, is there still a need to exfoliate so regularly. What is the best exfoliator in this season of excessive heat? While we sweat we are also building dead cells that make our skin appear dull. Use milder forms of exfoliation which you can tweak in formulations at home. Mix almond meal with yogurt, apply on your face

and neck and leave for half an hour. Moisten with warm water and rub off gently. If your skin is oilier you should do this more often.

I love the smell of roses and want to know how I can use it to make my hair smell of roses. You can use either rose water or even rose essential oil. Just remember to use the right proportion in your last rinse. If using the essential oil, just a drop or two in two mugs full of water is sufficient but if using rose water, you will need to use it almost in an equal quantity of water so that the fragrance lingers.

I want to know how to make a last rinse of tea for my hair which is of waist-length and can I just leave this in the hair without washing it out? Take two glasses of water and

when it is boiling add one teaspoon of ordinary tea leaves to it. Boil for two minutes. When it is cool just keep the liquid aside. When you want to use it, add one big teaspoon of lemon juice to it. After your shampoo, and if you use conditioner, then after the conditioner slowly pour it over your hair and let the hair be covered in it. No need to put more water to wash this off.

I have a good recipe of face pack with orange juice which is easy to make in winter, but what do I do in summer? You can take orange juice without adding sugar to it which is sold as drink and use that. Alternatively you can get orange essential oil and use literally a drop of that. During next winter you can dry the orange peel and powder it to use in your face pack for similar results.

A woman Like Nandita Geeta couldn’t understand how the voluptuous and tantalising danseuse who had been her businessman husband’s ex-fiancee, could remain his best friend and still be so generous to his wife. That’s till she got to know Nandita properly. By Kasturi Rangachari

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andita called yesterday and congratulated me,” Kumar said casually and I gave a slight start that he luckily did not see. But he did see the surprise mixed with alarm that sprang into my eyes and he smiled in amusement. “Do you find it strange that my ex-fiancee should ring me up and congratulate me on my engagement to you?” he asked, a teasing note in his voice. We were having dinner in an elite multi-cuisine restaurant that was all the rage just then among the sophisticated crowd Kumar belonged to, and I stopped eating and stared at him nonplussed, not knowing what to say. Was I surprised? Yes, I was. Did I think it strange? Yes, I did. But could I tell him that without him considering me immature and unsophisticated? No, I couldn’t! “There is one thing that you must understand, Geeta,” he said, a little more seriously when it became obvious that I wasn’t going to reply to his question. “Nandita and I split up, but we are still good friends. In fact, she is my best friend – someone to whom I can tell anything and everything – and I am probably her best friend too. Do you mind?” Did I mind? Did I mind that a fascinating, beautiful, talented and captivating woman, a woman who was fast making a name for herself as a world-famous dancer was my husband’s best friend? Of course I did! “Of course not,” I said as heartily as I could. “I understand.” But the truth was that understanding the situation was the last thing that I was capable of. For one thing, I didn’t understand why any man in his right senses would be ready to give up a woman like Nandita. I thought of her statuesque figure, her rounded hips, her deep breasts, her heart-shaped

face, her bewitching smile, her beautiful eyes and her sweet voice – all of which were familiar to every art-loving, newspaper-and-magazine-reading, TVwatching member of the public – and I glanced at Kumar, wondering how he had been able to come to terms with while losing all that. But the sight of him made me ask myself another question. Why would someone as good-looking, urbane, successful, mature and wonderful as Kumar, want to marry a woman as prosaic and ordinary as I was? Marry a woman more than a dozen years younger – he was 34 and I was 20 – and several light years less mature and knowledgeable about

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Nandita brought life into our rather staid group that day. She was in high spirits and she laughed and joked with Kumar and his family and friends, all of whom she of course knew. But my relatives and friends had shell-shocked looks on their faces and my parents stood protectively on either side of me, trying to smile but looking what they were really feeling – outraged that Nandita should have been so insensitive as to attend Kumar’s wedding when they had been involved and had then broken up. Luckily, neither Nandita nor Kumar even noticed the tension that surrounded me. Oddly enough, I understood. These people belonged to a class of society that my family didn’t belong to. We were definitely conservative middle class, with all the usual middle-class hang-ups about not wanting to make waves. But Kumar, Nandita and their friends were part of the rich, to-the-manorborn aristocracy and didn’t give a hoot smiled weakly and, jumping out of the about what people thought of them. I had car, shut the door behind me. I I understood. somehow got involved with them and now remembered to turn and wave when I These people it was up to me to make myself acceptable reached the verandah of my home, but I belonged to a class to them. was on the verge of tears as I went in. of society that my We got through the formalities and Nandita, the famous dancer who attracted family didn’t Kumar and I were married. My father and eyes wherever she went, was going to belong to. We uncle signed as witnesses for me and, as attend my marriage to her ex-fiance who were definitely Kumar’s parents were no more, a was still her best friend! She and Kumar conservative childhood friend of his, Alok Mehta, and their upper-crust, sophisticated friends middle class, with signed for him first. I watched tensely to might not find that strange, but my much all the usual see who would be his second witness. He more ordinary parents, already in a daze middle-class was quite capable of asking his “best about the marriage their only daughter was hang-ups about friend” Nandita to sign for him and she going to enter into, would. In fact, I did not wanting to would be quite capable of agreeing to. But too! make waves. Kumar asked an aunt who was the oldest And Nandita did attend my wedding. At member of his family to be a witness and Kumar’s insistence, we were having a she happily agreed and signed the register. registered wedding attended only by close friends and relatives and she swept in just as the clerk he start of my married life, my actual wedding, called us in. And, from that moment, I became a might not have been particularly pleasant, but nonentity at my own wedding! life after that was absolutely blissful. For some Nandita was wearing a gorgeous designer sari, much more eye-catching than my own expensive, but reason I couldn’t really fathom, Kumar seemed to love me very much and he was kind and tender and, sober Kancheepuram silk. Around her neck were a above all, very patient with me. I blundered along, number of long gold chains and she wore chunky learning to run his palatial home as efficiently as he bangles on her wrists. She had loads of mascara on wanted, to manage his household help, to give good her eyes, a big red bindi on her forehead and long parties, to entertain his friends and even to open my strings of jasmine in her hair. mouth without making a fool of myself. She looked both dramatic and exquisite – just Two years passed and we didn’t have a child, but right for the dancer that she was. People have neither of us minded too much. We were too happy always said that I am pretty, but my prettiness is an to worry about anything and when the doctor told us insipid kind of prettiness. Next to her I was like a that nothing was wrong and that children would single jasmine flower put beside a flaming crimson come along when Nature decided that it was time rose!

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anything and everything, than he was? Even my name – Geeta – was one of the most common names in the country! But these were questions I had never dared ask Kumar, even in the moments we were close and he was tender. Not only did I constantly feel the age difference between us, but I was also incessantly overwhelmed by the thought of my ignorance about practically everything and my general inadequacy when compared to his experience, his sophistication and the scintillating conversation he was capable of on any topic under the sun. “Nandita also told me that she’ll be in Mumbai for a show tomorrow,” Kumar told me later, as he dropped me off at home. “I wonder how I missed the announcement in the papers, but anyway I’m meeting her after the performance for a late dinner. So I won’t be able to see you tomorrow.” “That’s all right,” I mumbled, wondering why he wasn’t taking me along to meet his “best friend”. As usual, he read my mind.

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for them, we accepted that and thoroughly enjoyed hand on mine for a moment. ourselves in the interim. “Kumar must have told you but I can guess how “We must take Nandita to View from the Hill,” he did it!” she said, a note of affectionate mockery he’d say. “She loves Mexican food!” or “This in her voice. “He gave you the bare bones. Told you boutique you’re getting your salwar suits from these that I had fallen in love with someone else and then days. You must take Nandita there.” told you that there was no need to ever talk about The jealousy I felt was not because I doubted the past again! But that bare-bones version didn’t Kumar. It was because I knew that though he loved really satisfy you, did it?” me, Nandita was special to him and that she was “No, it didn’t,” I admitted ruefully. his friend in ways that I could never be. The days that she was in town – never more than he was silent for long minutes and sat gazing three or four – would be frantic. Though she would into the distance as she went back to those stay at either the Taj or the Le Meredien, she would days. spend all the time she could spare from rehearsals “I was an up-and-coming dancer in those days and and performances with us – either both of us or with Kumar and I met in Delhi at a party given for the just me because Kumar often had work that he could famous dancer Veena Vasudevan. It was love at first not postpone. sight for both of us! We were a pair soon and we When the three of us were together, I’d mostly both knew that some time in the future, when we remain quiet because Kumar and Nandita would be were both ready, when Kumar had established talking their heads off. I’d stare at her as she talked himself and I had made a name for myself as a – she always talked very animatedly, waving her classical dancer, we’d get married. But there hands about a great deal, various expressions seemed no hurry for that to happen. We were far flitting, one after another, across her mobile face – too happy living each exciting day to the full, to and I’d wonder about their break-up. And, while I bother too much about the future! wondered, the green-eyed monster would eat into “Those were the days that Kumar had first started me. riding high, getting promotion after promotion and I “My father teaches in a college and my mother in had just joined Anandraj’s dance troupe. We were a school,” I told her. “We’re very ordinary people. both doing well and we were both happy and busy. The only thing special is that we have this rather We spent our free time going for shows and spending dilapidated and old, but large bungalow on the hours chatting with friends and with each other. seafront in central Mumbai that my father inherited “Then Kumar began to think of branching out on from a distant relative. If it weren’t for that his own and, though I was all for it, it posed a bungalow, I would never have even met Kumar – problem. He wanted to start business in Mumbai, there is no chance that our paths would ever have but I was getting more and more involved with crossed. But he bought a house near my home and Anandraj’s troupe and didn’t want to leave Delhi. he liked going for walks along the seafront and I did “We discussed things and decided that, for the too and we met...and I got lucky….” time being, Kumar would move to Mumbai and I Nandita leaned forward and stroked my cheek. would stay on in Delhi. He’d test the waters in “No, he got lucky,” she said softly. Mumbai and I too would see if I could move there. I stared at her nonplussed. What sort of a woman “Kumar went to Mumbai and set up his was this who could pay from-the-heart consultancy firm there. Business soon compliments to the wife of a man she had picked up and he didn’t want to return to What sort of a once loved very much and whom she even Delhi. But the dance troupe too began to woman was this do well. We began to give performances now loved very much as a friend? Was her large-heartedness the reason why Kumar all over the country and even abroad. I who could pay was so drawn to her? was given solos too in our performances from-the-heart and I didn’t want to give all that up and compliments to ne day, she spontaneously answered move to Mumbai and start afresh. the wife of a the question I had been dying to “We went on like that for two years. We man she had ask her. were young, we loved each other and we once loved very “You wonder why Kumar and I broke were filled with energy. We were sure that up, don’t you?” she asked while we were much and whom we could conquer the world – and that time having lunch after a morning of hectic and distance could not destroy our love for she even now shopping on one of her visits. I gave a start loved very much each other. We met for a few days every and she laughed gaily and put her few months and we made those days as a friend? exquisitely manicured and bejewelled memorable!

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“And then,” she paused, then looked at me steadily and resumed speaking, “I became involved with Anandraj. It wasn’t that I fell out of love with Kumar, it was just that Anandraj became more and more a part of my life. Kumar was far away, Anandraj was always there – and perhaps for me, the immediate and the present are always more important than the distant and the future. The fact that I had remained true to Kumar for two years, actually shows how much I had loved him! “Besides, Anandraj and I had so much in common! His exuberance and passions matched mine and our great love for dance was another bond between us. He began to choreograph special dances of me and, besides dancing as a part of the troupe, I began to get invitations to give solo performances. Fame, adulation and money were all coming my way – and Kumar seemed very far away from all that was happening in my life.”

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andita sighed and put her hand on mine. “I know that you will wonder what kind of woman I am to fall in and out of love so easily. But Anandraj was my alter ego – he understood what I felt without my telling him – he lived to dance, just as I did…and we both realised that we were fated to be together. “I hadn’t told Kumar about my feelings till then – not because I wanted to hide things from him, but because I was confused. But the next time he came to Delhi I told him – with great trepidation! He looked at me with so much pain in his eyes that I felt as if my heart was breaking. Then he got up and walked away. “I thought that he would never want to see me again and I felt lost and lonely. I then realised that, though I needed Anandraj in one way, I needed Kumar too, in another way and I was so unhappy. “A few days later, to my great joy, Kumar came to see me again. And he told me that he understood. That he realised that Anandraj and I were made for each other in a way he and I weren’t, because of our common love for dance. And he told me that he needed me too – as a friend. I wept my heart out that day and from then we have been best friends. Do you understand that?” I couldn’t understand that. Surely, Kumar would have felt betrayed and heartbroken? But I didn’t say that and instead changed the subject. “And then you married Anandraj? And he understood your friendship with Kumar?”

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“Yes.” I didn’t understand that either. But then these people belonged to a different world from the one I had grown up in and to which I still belonged! I had one more question that I wanted to ask Nandita, but I didn’t dare ask it. Ours had been a whirlwind courtship and Kumar and I had got married less than a year after he had broken up with Nandita. Nandita had been watching my face. Worldly wise as she was, it couldn’t have been difficult for her to read the thoughts going through my head. “Are you happy, Geeta?” she asked. “I…suppose…so.” “You suppose so?” “I can be happy only if Kumar is and I don’t... really see...how…he can be.” “What?” the surprise in Nandita’s voice was unmistakable. “How can he be happy, really happy, with me, when he has been involved with you? I must seem like a glass of milk after a glass of champagne! How could he have forgotten you?” “Oh my dear, are you blind?” Nandita asked. “What do you mean?” “Don’t you see the passionate love in Kumar’s eyes whenever he looks at you?

I gaped at her as she went on, “And, as for milk and champagne, milk is wholesome and nourishing. Champagne may be heady, but it leaves you with a headache the next morning!” I laughed then, laughed with her, feeling as if a weight off my mind. “Now tell me, are you happy?” she asked me again, this time with a smile and a teasing note in her voice. July (Second) 2009

heart. “And Mahima?” I cried. “She’s all right, thank goodness.” “Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier? I’m sure that Nandita told you right after she and Anandraj came to know.” “I didn’t want to upset you.” “Upset me? Well, you’ve upset me now all right! And you are not going to visit them again!” “Geeta, control yourself! Be reasonable.” “I am being reasonable. If both Anandraj and Nandita have full-blown AIDS, I don’t want you to go there and nurse them!” “But there’s absolutely no danger in being with AIDS patients or in nursing them!” “Then why are doctors and nurses said to be in danger from patients with AIDS? Why do nursing homes turn them away and why do surgeons refuse to operate on them?” “Well, surgeons are at some risk but...” “And so is anyone who nurses them during the last stages!” “No! And anyway, I’m not going to nurse them!” “I know you! You will nurse Nandita if she needs nursing. And you are not going to!” he also seemed to be falling ill often. In fact, For the first time since I had known him, Kumar Anandraj too seemed to be falling ill frequently. became angry with me. “I am going to Delhi, Nandita and Kumar still seemed to need each Geeta,” he said, his voice cold. “Just accept that.” other and he made several trips to Delhi to see her “No, I won’t let you go!” during this period. And then came another SOS, this As he watched me puzzled, I picked up the time because Anandraj was ill, and Kumar prepared phone and dialled Nandita’s number. When he to air-dash to Delhi again. “Both Nandita and Anandraj seem to be falling ill realised what I was doing, he tried to grab the phone from me, but by that time Nandita had picked very often,” I commented as I watched Kumar the receiver up. throwing a few things into a bag, a frown of worry “Nandita,” I said, “I’m Geeta speaking.” on his face. “What is it this time?” “Hi, Geeta! Is Kumar leaving today?” Nandita “A bad cold that has gone to his chest and sounded tired and weak. become pneumonia.” Kumar hesitated as if he were I hesitated and refused to meet Kumar’s eyes. wondering whether to say anything further or not. “Nandita,” I said. “Kumar has just told me He then seemed to decide not to, because he turned about…about your illness.” away. “I see.” “What is it?” I asked. “I’m very sorry. More sorry than I can “Nothing.” say.” “No, there is something. Something “Yes.” about Anandraj. About Nandita. Don’t “How can “But...I can’t let Kumar come there.” hide it from me.” he be happy, Nandita was silent and I went on, “I may Kumar sat down and looked at me with really happy, be wrong, but I’m terrified that he will pick eyes filled with pain. “You had better sit with me, when up the...the infection.” down,” he said heavily and when I did so, he has been “I understand!” Nandita’s voice was he went on. “Both Anandraj and Nandita filled with affection. “It’s all right.” tested positive for HIV two years ago and involved with “I’m sorry…” now both have full-blown AIDS.” As I you? I must “Don’t be. I said I understand.” stared at him stunned, he went on softly, seem like a “Kumar is angry with me.” “Anandraj picked up the infection through glass of milk “Let me talk to him.” a blood transfusion. But he initially did not after a glass of I silently handed the receiver to my know that he had the infection and he gave champagne!” husband. He took it and listened for a long it to Nandita.” time as Nandita spoke to him. “All right,” My mouth fell open as terror filled my “Blissfully happy! And I’d be ecstatic if I had a child.” “A child!” Nandita’s voice became tender. “Yes.” “Mahima is four now, isn’t she?” “Four and a half.” “Doesn’t she miss you when you are away?” “I suppose she does. But she understands that mummy has to go and dance wherever she’s asked to.” From that day, I felt that I too had a friend in Nandita. But I was still aware that she was Kumar’s friend more than she could ever be mine. Another two years passed and I still didn’t become pregnant. But, though I was disappointed about that, I fulfilled a dream of mine by opening a boutique in which I sold clothes that I had designed myself. Kumar funded that together with a small workshop in which four tailors and a few apprentices made the clothes I designed. For some reason my boutique proved popular and I began to be very busy and, when I was busy, I forgot about my childless state.

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Kumar left by a late afternoon flight. He he said finally. “I won’t come. And no, I’m Anandraj had told me that he would phone as soon not angry with Geeta.” picked up the as he had spoken to Nandita and she had “How are they?” I would ask every time infection told him what was troubling her and I Kumar and Nandita spoke to each other. waited restlessly for his call. It came late at Kumar would shake his head and tell me through a night. seriously that both were worse. blood “She’s dying, Geeta,” said Kumar and I “Nandita is weakening faster than transfusion. knew that he was fighting to hold back his Anandraj,” he told me one day. But he initially tears. “It won’t be much longer...a couple I was thoroughly confused those days. did not know of days perhaps...perhaps less...and Had I been right in preventing Kumar from that he had the Anandraj won’t be with us much longer going and seeing Nandita? Was it partly either. He’s better than she is now, but I jealously that had made me so adamant? infection and know that he will not be able to take If it was so dangerous to go anywhere he gave it to Nandita’s death.” near AIDS patients, would there be so Nandita. I did not know what to say. “Please stay many educated and prominent people there as long as you are needed,” I said fighting for greater justice for them? Had I finally and then asked, “What was it that she been wrong, terribly wrong, in preventing Kumar wanted to tell you?” from going to see his best friend? There was a long silence. “Kumar,” I asked, “are And Nandita was such a wonderful person. She was a free spirit who lived life on her own terms, but you all right?” He cleared his throat. “Yes,” he said. she was also warm and loving and giving, and she “What did Nandita want to tell you? Anandraj brought laughter and joy wherever she went. said that she was desperate.” And what about little Mahima? What would that There was another pause and then Kumar spoke. child be going through? Nandita had no close “She wants you ...me... us...to take Mahima,” he said. family, but Anandraj had two brothers. Would they “Bring her up as our own. And Anandraj says that if be looking after her now? Would one of them adopt that is what Nandita wants, that is what he too wants.” the little girl after ... after she was orphaned? I sat down, my legs too weak to bear my weight. I began to talk to activists and to surf the Internet for information on the transmission of AIDS. And as I Nandita was generous even in death! “Oh, Kumar!” I gasped, my voice filled with learnt more and more about the disease, my heart sank and I was filled with guilt. I had been so wrong emotion. “We’ll have a daughter!” “Are you sure, Geeta? It will mean a big in keeping Kumar and Nandita apart! responsibility. Mahima is nearly eight years old now and, after the double tragedy that will hit her soon, it nd then one day, just around the time I had won’t be easy to make her feel secure and loved. begun to wonder what to do, Anandraj rang And she has been brought up in a very different way up and told Kumar that Nandita was dying. I flicked on the speaker-phone so that I too could hear ... There will be clashes, problems.” “There are no problems that love cannot solve. I Anandraj’s words. “She’s desperate to tell you want her, Kumar!” something,” Anandraj told Kumar. “She’s writing “Then…I will bring her back with me. But I will you a letter and I’ll send it as soon as she has have to stay here till…the end.” finished it. Only she is so weak that she is not able “Of course.” to write more than a few lines at a time...” “Nandita said something else, Geeta. She told “Anandrajji,” I interrupted, my eyes on Kumar’s me to tell you to bring Mahima up to be like you. pain-filled face, “Kumar will fly there and meet She said that there is nothing like a glass of Nandita. Please tell her that.” nourishing milk. What did she mean?” “Geeta…” “I’ll tell you later. But you tell her that I would like “Tell Nandita that I’m sorry my foolishness kept Mahima to grow up to be like her – a loving and her from seeing her best friend during the time she probably needed him the most,” I said. “She needn’t giving person who follows her heart and lives life fully.” write what she wants to tell him. She can tell him “I’ll tell her that.” what she wants in person.” I put down the phone. Yes, I would do my best to “Then he should come quickly. I don’t know how bring Mahima up to become a woman like Nandita. much time she has.” I was sad when I thought of what was happening in “He’ll be there this evening.” I turned and looked at Kumar. He smiled and held Delhi, but I was also filled with dreams – dreams for my daughter, Mahima. his arms open and I walked into them. We

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COSMETIC GALA The delicate way to take care of your face and hands. By Our Correspondent Gautam Sarkar, CEO

Gautam Sarkar is the Chief Executive Officer of Gala of London. With a wealth of experience, he is keeping the organisation’s flag flying.

Face and hand care are uppermost in any woman’s mind as regards the total beautification of her body. What parts need the special attention? Face is the mirror of our personality, so face care is the most important part for any woman. But hand care is also very important because it is the other visible part of our body. What are the steps to feminine beautification? For face CTM (cleansing, toning, moisturising) is a must. One face pack is very important for daily care routine. For that we can talk about Sandalwood Face pack, which can be applied thrice a week. As Sandalwood is a very essential component for skin care, it helps to moisturise balancing, gives a glow to the skin. To look beautiful, a woman needs good products to enhance her beauty. Can you tell me about those products? To enhance beauty colour cosmetics plays a vital role, so I will prefer Gala of London, as it ensures best quality with lowest possible budget. A woman’s lips draw everyone’s attention and lipstick is a good enhancer. Can you suggest any good lipstick? Of course Gala of London, because it gives a wide choice of colour and again with a good quality

which ensure no bleeding and long stay with minimum budget.

Focus on the eyes always sends a message. How can I beautify my eyes? Eyes express the beauty, so to make it more beautiful few products can be used, like- Kajal (the old theory of beauty), Eyeliner, Mascara. First apply Kajal, then apply Eyeliner according to your eye shape and then apply Mascara on eyelashes. How can I take care of my nails, so that they remain lustrous and blemish-free? Hand care is an important part of daily care routine. Do manicure regularly. During manicure apply cuticle softener to remove undesired cuticles. After that clean your nails with Nail polish remover, then apply base coat, after that apply nail polish as per your choice, on top of that apply top coat, which will provide an extra lustrous look and will ensure long stay of your nail colour. Base coat will prevent your nails from staining which can be caused by dark shades of nail colour and also it will help to provide a finished look to your nail paint. My cuticles always get brittle and hard. How can I maintain their smooth and soft look? Remove nail colour, if any is applied before, apply Cuticle softener on your nails with cotton, and leave it for five minutes then remove the cuticle. I would like to get good nail polish, in addition to right nail polish remover. Can I get any branded one? Yes, it’s again the same brand – Woman’s Era

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Gala Of London, which will provide you 70 shades of colour with lowest rate, and also ensure colour on first coat application ensuring long stay. Right choice of nail polish remover is very important because high alcohol content remover may harm the nails. Gala of London remover contains humectants which does not allow extra dryness on nail surface.

I have used many brands of mascara, but so far they have not produced the desired result? Are there good products with right ingredients available in the market? As eye is most sensitive area, so right choice of mascara is an important job, Gala of London is having two mascaras – all-weather mascara – which has water retention power, run-proof mascara – which gives a volume look to your eyelashes. As an Indian woman I fancy using good kajal but could not get hold of good one. Can I get any good kajal which does not wear off soon? Kajal is a definition of Indian beauty, and we judge the quality by their bleeding nature. Gala of London’s Kajal is the one which does not bleed for a long time period, also gives a finished look to the eyes. Gala of London is the company which provides a branded product with best possible quality and with best economic pricing. We ensure a total range of colour cosmetics for most common people who all are looking for a best product with We affordable price. 35

A perfect regal look

Here are some different hair styles. You choose the one best suited to your personality. Surely, the hairdo will enhance your sexuality.

your hair

The ways you can wear

Figure me out

Invitation to romance

The decisive move

Woman’s hairstyle changes whenever the situation and trend demand it. The style is truly a matter of personal preference, and the intended mood it wants to create.

Target in sight

Making up the mind

The Peculiar Man Appearances can often be deceptive. By Leena Raj

I

t was my first day in office and I entered it with jumped out of my chair. some trepidation. Back at college, I was He must have been around 35 having a medium boisterous and this apprehension was quite height, medium complexion, a growing belly and a alien to me. But this wasn’t college and neither receding hairline. What was more striking about was I amongst my notorious gang. I glanced him was his dress. A dark green pants with a around nervously. It was like any other designed rani pink shirt. (Goodness knows from corporate office. Sophisticated, spick and span where he got the fabric!) My nose automatically with plush interiors, wooden cabins, glass partitions wrinkled up in distaste. and immaculately dressed young men at their desks. What a weird dress! I looked around for ladies.There were quite a few of “Dying to know more about me? Well, let me them dressed in elegant pant suits. have the pleasure of introducing myself. I I looked at myself. Since I was not sure am Samuel, Sam in short – and sweet to all about the dress code I had to debate about I headed for the my close ones, especially to you,” he receptionist what I should wear. I didn’t want to be looked into my eyes and grinned at me. I who directed either too modern or too traditional. So I could not utter a word, unable to come out me to the finally decided for a pair of jeans with a of my shock. CEO. decent, well-fitting long top. Luckily, I “Well, we have countless days ahead Contrary to wasn’t looking out of place. Must get a and lots of fun to look forward to. Till then, my couple of pant suits, I resolved. bye, dear.” expectations, I headed for the receptionist who He left me gaping after him. I watched the CEO was directed me to the CEO. Contrary to my him going around, exchanging a word or a smart and expectations, the CEO was a smart and two with everyone, shaking hands with suave young suave young man with a no-nonsense some and patting the shoulders of others. man with a attitude. With a brief “hi” and a warm He scampered around for a while and no-nonsense smile, he quickly glanced over my disappeared into the CEO’s cabin. attitude. appointment letter and entrusted me to his I expected him to come out with a sullen personal assistant. face as he was a good half an hour late The PA escorted me to my cabin and introduced and I have heard that in a corporate office, every me to those around. Everyone seemed to be minute counts. He came out after a while but as amicable. The PA briefed me on my job assignment cheerful as before and disappeared again. and asked me to get acquainted with the files and What a strange man! I could not help but say this reports. My fears being assuaged, I settled down to myself. Amongst these sophisticated and amiable comfortably in my chair. people, he seemed to be a misfit. I switched on the system and began to go through It was lunchtime and I joined the others for lunch. the files when I was scared out of my wits. There was only one common room for men and “Hi gorgeous! I am delighted at this new addition women. I look out my lunch box doubtfully. I had to to the existing bevy of beauties.” carry it to satisfy my mother. But I was relieved to The voice sounded so near in my ear that I almost see that the others carried their lunch too. I opened

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hat a mannerless fellow! How shameless to eat my food without my offering it! And his audacity to say that I made a study of his likes and dislikes! Why should I? To trap him? What does he think of himself? Prince Charming? Forget about falling for him, he doesn’t even deserve a second look! While I boiled inside, he gobbled up my parathas and disappeared within no time. I thought the others would sympathise with me but nobody seemed to have noticed anything amiss. They all offered me their boxes oblivious of my anger. After some time, the attendant came with a plate of sandwiches and coffee and placed them before me. Seeing the questioning look on my face he informed, “Sir has sent this for you.” “Which sir?” “Oh, it must be Sam, in return for your parathas,” said Divya.

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Oh, the dumb head had a fragment of sense in him! But I was in no mood to accept anything from him. It was my birthday that day. It had always been my habit to treat my friends to chocolates and home-made cake for which they all craved. So mom packed a large box full of cake slices which I offered to my colleagues. They showered me with wishes and relished the delicious chocolate cake. “Hey, what’s going on here?” Goodness! It was the pest, the last person on earth whom I would wish to see, at least today. I had no option but to offer him a slice. “Happy birthday, dear,” he popped the slice into his mouth. “Reminds me of my schooldays,” he chuckled. “Why?” I frowned. “Birthday party, celebration, cake, chocolates are all a part of schooldays, you know!” he said. “Why?” Don’t you celebrate your birthday?” I countered. “If at all I have one. My illiterate parents were too ignorant to note down my date of birth. And the one recorded in my certificates is not the real one. So why bother? Saves money, doesn’t it?” “But, surely, you must be celebrating your children’s birthdays,” I stressed the word ‘children’. I wanted him to know that his age was conspicuous. “Oh yes, I surely do with pomp and gaiety,” he stretched his arms wide. Disgusting! It was not only impossible to talk to him but also useless. And he spoilt my day. He was getting on my nerves far too much. How I wished he would vanish into thin air!

STORY

my box and held it out to others. “Wow! Parathas! My favourite, What luck!” The strange man appeared out of the blue and grabbed the tiffin box from my hand. “I’m sure you have made a study of my likes and dislikes before you joined this office. Otherwise, how would you know that I love parathas? Anyway, thanks,” he began munching my parathas while I fumed inside.

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t looked like a bad day for me. I prepared a project with great care but the corrections suggested by the project manager meant redoing the whole thing. The deadline being the next day, I had no option but to stay back and redo it. I prepared myself mentally. While all the others left by their usual time, I sat down with my work. “No intention of going home? Had a fight with mom? Planning to run away from home?” Oh, no! Not the odd man again to add to my woes! “I have to complete my project,” I said without taking my eyes off the computer. “Need any help?” “No, thanks,” I said curtly. “Okay, as you wish,” saying so he walked away. The thick-skinned man! No shame to talk to me time and again being fully aware that I hated him like hell. Anyway, I

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had no time to waste on him. I concentrated on my work. I came out of the office with the satisfaction of redoing the project perfectly. But my happiness evaporated as I saw the pest seated on his bike and chatting with the watchman. Why was he hanging around here! I frowned. “Come on, I’ll drop you home,” he offered. “Thanks, but no. I can go by myself,” “But finding a rickshaw at this time is next to impossible.” I looked at him in disbelief. “Yes, madam, you cannot get an auto here. At least sir can drop you at the rickshaw stand from where you will be able to get a ride,” said the watchman. I had to yield, though grudgingly.

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leep eluded me that night. What could be the intention of the peculiar man? Why did he hang around after everybody left? That too knowing that I was the only one around. Why did he offer me a lift? To create an impression or with an evil intention? If I had not insisted on getting down at the auto stand where could he have taken me? Our office was in the suburbs and there is no dearth of lonely roads and dark places. I only thought of him as a foolish man but – who knows – he might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I had to be careful with him. I decided to voice my doubts to Divya. “Yesterday, I was late in completing my project and as I came outside, I saw Mr Samuel waiting.” “Was he? Trust him for that. Whenever one of us gets late, he always stays back to escort us home. He feels that it is not safe for women to go alone at night. So sweet of him.”

“But, isn’t he eccentric?” “Don’t bother Nisha,” Divya laughed. “You’ll get used to his ways.” Well, the others may find him kind and sweet, but not I. But why should I ruin my peace for his sake? I decided to ignore him. At around 11 o’clock that day, Ramnath, our attendant, received a phone call. His 6-year-old daughter fell from the steps while playing and was rushed to the hospital. Her condition was critical. The poor man was devastated. The girl was his only child. The news pricked our hearts. Ramnath was a simple man, honest, sincere and hard-working. My heart went out to him and I wanted to help him in some way or other. I approached the personnel assistant and told him of my intention. I told him that we need to help Ramnath in his crisis. “Why not? Sure, what do you think we should do?” “Sir, we can all make some contribution which will help him meet the hospital expenses.” “Good idea! So you take the initiative and do the needful.”

I

went around asking for contributions. I was glad that everyone contributed generously and willingly. Now there’s only one person left, the odd man. Should I ask him or not? This is no time for personal grudges, I reprimanded myself. I must do my part. I approached him half-heartedly. “Mr Samuel, there is a tragedy in Ramnath’s house and we have decided to help him financially. So, if you could kindly donate some money it would be of great help to him.” He was busily arranging the files in his cabin. I was not sure if he had followed what I said. “Mr Samuel, what about your contribution?” “Later,” he said, without as much glancing at me. He took his bike keys and rushed outside. ‘What a heartless man!’ No time to spare for a noble cause, for a moment! He rushed out as if the world had caught fire. At other times he would be grinning and talking nonsense, but now, when it came to money, he became silent. What a hypocrite!’ I felt hurt. I should not have asked him, after all. Anyway, I collected a good amount and I proceeded to reach it to Ramnath. Ramnath did not come to office the next 2 days. He came on the third day. There was relief on his face. We surrounded him asking about his daughter. “She is fine and recovering fast. She lost a lot of blood and needed blood transfusion. Fortunately, Samuel sir was there in time. He

donated his blood. He visited us with his He is always dependable and trustworthy.” He was family and they brought us dinner one day. I was dumbfounded. I mused over the busily He even offered to arrange money towards past events. I tried to remember and the hospital bill but there was no need for arranging the recollect if he had ever tried to flirt with me. that. You all have been so kind and No, never. Then why did I detest him so files in his generous that I was able to clear the bill much? Maybe because of his appearance cabin. I was without any difficulty,” he folded his hands and his unusual behaviour and his ugly not sure if he with tears in his eyes. dress sense. But not all people have a had followed I was bewildered. ”Unbelievable!” the good sense of dress. And how did I forget what I said. word came out of my mouth instantly. that appearances are deceptive? No doubt “Mr Samuel, “What?” it was Divya beside me. his manners were queer but what’s the what “That the peculiar man has a humane harm in that as long as there was no about your side in him.” malice in him? And, while I gloated over “The peculiar man? You mean. Sam? He contribution?” my little act of charity, he concealed his has always been like that. One can rely on magnanimity. him for any help.” “Dreaming about me, as usual?” It was “But, the way he talks and acts...” I could no he. longer control my apprehensions. “Yes,” I looked him in the face. “Oh! By nature he is an outgoing, humorous “And what am I in your dreams?” person. He believes in making people happy and “A warm friend, an affectionate brother and a tension-free. He wants to enliven those around him. compassionate human being.” So it is just harmless talk that he indulges in. Why, “Enough, I’m flattered, I’m elated. If you don’t put he calls us dear and darling but he never an end to your eloquent speech, I may burst like a misbehaves with us! So don’t take him seriously. You balloon!” know, he has one son and he adopted a girl from For the first time, I joined in his laughter an orphanage. And every year he celebrates his wholeheartedly. After all, the peculiar man had kids’ birthdays with the children at the orphanage. helped me in understanding him. We

Jab we met My family shifted to Kalyan in 1995 when I was in the 8th standard. New place, new school, new friends. Sanchaita was one of my new friends over there and later became one of my best friends. I used to go to her home and from there we used to go together to school. The scene at her place I vividly remember is that of her elder brother sitting near the window, engrossed in his books. We hardly spoke to each other. Just an occasional ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ and the conversation used to stop there. It was in September ’07 (almost after 12 years) that I got an SMS inquiring my office timings. This came to me as very surprising as we

were hardly in touch. I replied. The next SMS was if I was interested in having a cup of coffee with him after the office hours. I denied his request tactfully. This was followed by a series of SMs and e-mails cajoling me for a meeting and the reason being he wanted me to help him with a problem, which he could not discuss at home. I agreed to meet him after much coaxing and giving due consideration to the fact that he is my best friend’s brother. He was the first to come that day. Though we had not seen each other for the last three-four years, I had no problem in recognising him in the crowded Dadar overbridge. We sat in a restauarant and after some casual conversation he came to his problem. He wanted me to help him in proposing to a girl he liked, but didn’t know how to go about it. He started jotting down points on a paper, like his expectations, likes, dislikes, qualifications, job, etc. Though, I felt this act of his funny, I kept quiet. He handed over the paper to me and said, “Go through this, I will give you time, let me know how to Woman’s Era

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propose to that girl:” Realisation dawned that the girl was me and the paper was his marriage bio-data. I was in a dilemma for days that followed, whether to say yes or no, for he fitted into my definition of ‘husband’, but the only disqualification being that he was of a different caste. After three days I was called again, as it was my turn to offer a solution. He had planned it to be a casual meeting. However, as our conversation started, he sensed that I was aware of the ‘girl’ in question and there was no point in continuing with his game. He didn’t waste any further time and just popped the question. I didn’t say ‘Yes’ but neither did I say ‘No’. This was the beginning of our relationship. Our families acepted our relationship. We got engaged after three months and got married on 3 May, 2008 exactly seven months after our first meeting. A lovely feeling creeps in on thinking how two strangers became sweethearts because of just one meeting. – Resitha Vivek. 41

Embellishment to

beauty

Since time immemorial women have been adorning themselves with ornaments to draw their beloveds closer. Naturally, gold and gems have become their second love.

Beautifully layered necklace

Glittering danglers

A necklace for special occasion

Enticing necklace

Trendy earrings

Crescent-shaped one

Wearing it you will be conspicuous

Danglers of a class A picture of complete ornamentation

Made for your slender neck

A drooping necklace and diamond danglers

Diamond danglers and hanging necklace

Jewellery: DTC Ltd. Bank Street, Karol Bagh, New Delhi. Wholesaler & Retailer Ph: 011-45678333

Q& A My daughter is 10 months old and has not yet developed a single tooth. Her gums however are hard and she bites hard on anything she lays her hands on. She also drools a lot these days. I am worried about this delay since her elder brother, who is now three years old, erupted his first tooth at six months of age. Please tell me if I need to consult a doctor. What is the right age for the first tooth to erupt? The first tooth usually erupts around the 6th month but there is a wide variation. If all her other milestones are normal, sooner or later her teeth will erupt especially now that her gums have become hard. Drooling could also signify the onset of teething. On the other hand if her other milestones like neck holding, sitting up etc. too are delayed she needs to be checked up thoroughly. Take her to a paediatrician to confirm or rule out any problematic conditions.

I have two children, a six-year-old girl and a four-year-old boy. I love them both a lot but they are so naughty that I am not able to control my anger. I beat them and then feel bad afterwards. Please give me tips on anger management and also tell me how to discipline them without having to resort to violence. Whatever the provocation one should not beat one’s children. Either they become rebellious and aggressive or become suppressed and develop a negative personality. 44

Sit with them when they have not done anything naughty and are in a positive state of mind. Tell them that you do not like beating them and would definitely want to stop doing so but you need their support. Tell them that there are certain things they do, that provoke your anger and it would be best for all if they were avoided. If they forget to abide by the rules set, you can give sharp commands that they should obey. If this does not work, you will have to tell them to forgo something they enjoy, for example a cartoon programme, if they disobey you. On the other hand, reward them with praise, hugs and kisses, if they have been good. Do not fall into the trap of rewarding them with materialistic gains (like chocolates) for good behaviour, for it will send the wrong signals.

My six-year-old daughter has fine laugh lines. Vitamin E oil was suggested. How do I use it? Do I apply it on the laugh lines only or on the whole face? The laugh lines your little daughter has got are not the laugh lines people get as a result of the ageing process. You do not have to worry about them or think of erasing them. First of all they will not go, secondly they need no treatment. Vitamin E oil is per se good for the skin. A few drops can be applied on the whole face as routine daily skin care. Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

I have recently delivered my first child and though I am breastfeeding him I am worried if he is getting adequate amounts of feeds. Please tell me how to gauge this. I have seen that even after a full feed he wants to suckle my finger if I put it in his mouth. Is this a sign of hunger? Please tell me if I should add bottle milk. Sucking of the finger even after a full feed is not an indicator of hunger. This is called the rooting reflex that all babies have at birth. Crying alone doesn’t always indicate hunger. The baby could be wet, sleepy or in pain. Weight gain is the best parameter of an adequate feed. It should be around 25gm/day or about 750-1000gm in one month.

I have a six-month-old boy who was born prematurely at 30.5 weeks. He has a slight squint in the left eye. Is it because of prematurity? Can it be rectified? The squint may or may not be due to prematurity. There is nothing that can be done about it at the moment though it is good to remain in touch with an ophthalmologist. The squint may disappear on its own as the child grows older. If this does not occur, the ophthalmologist will prescribe some eye exercises to overcome the muscle weakness for that is the commonest cause of a squint. These exercises have to be done diligently to preserve binocular vision. If exercises fail, surgery might be of help. Children with a squint should be operated upon early for delay in treatment could result in lifelong monocular vision instead of the normal binocular vision. This is because the brain will register only the images sent by the straight eye and ignore those sent by the defective eye. If untreated, the eye with the squint is eventually left with no useful vision. Any correction done later than eight years of age will only be for cosmetic purposes. Your ophthalmologist is your best guide. – Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

Believe it, you will not put the plate down, once you have these items on it.

Rice and frankfurter salad

By Roma Ghosh

A VEG-NON-VEG MIX

RICE AND FRANKFURTER SALAD

INGREDIENTS: 1 cup of cooked, long-grained rice 3-4 frankfurters 2 tsp of olive oil For the salad dressing: 3 tsp of olive oil 1 tsp of coarsely crushed red chillies 1/ tsp of oregano powder 2 1 tsp of vinegar 2 tsp of sugar syrup 1 tsp of spicy tomato sauce METHOD Mix all the ingredients for the salad dressing and prepare a tangy dressing. Heat the olive oil and fry the frankfurters on medium heat turning once or twice so that all the sides are cooked. Allow to cool slightly and then cut into half-inch pieces. In a salad bowl mix the rice, frankfurters and pour the dressing over it and toss gently. Serve chilled as a salad. 46

MUTTON PULAO

INGREDIENTS: 700 gm of mutton 1 cup of dahi 3 tsp of ginger-garlic paste 2 tbsp of onion paste 2 tbsp of tomato paste 3 tbsp of oil 1 inch piece of cinnamon 3 cloves 2 cardamoms 2 dried red chillies 2 cups of rice salt to taste METHOD Prepare a marinade by mixing the dahi, ginger, garlic, onion, tomato pastes. Marinate the

mutton with this paste adding salt to taste. Keep the meat aside for 2 hours. Heat a thick-bottomed pan and add the oil and allow the whole spices to splutter. Lower the heat and add the marinated mutton with the marinade and cook this on medium heat for 8-10 minutes, stirring all the time. Cook till most of the juices in the mutton have been soaked into the mutton pieces. Now add the rice and stirfry for 3-4 minutes. Add just enough water for the rice to cook. If there are any juices left from the marinade, then you will need to add water accordingly. Cover with a lid and cook on low fire till the rice is tender and all the water is evaporated. Serve with raita.

RICE MOULDS INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of rice salt to taste 1 tsp of oil For the first layer: 1/ cup of spinach puree 2 salt to taste 1/ tsp of roasted jeera 2 powder

Mutton pulao

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RICE PAKORAS

Rice moulds

For the second layer: 2 cup of tomato sauce

1/

Eating rice the healthy way

INGREDIENTS: 1 cup of cooked rice (you could also use leftover cooked rice) 2 tsp of grated cheese 3 tsp of rice flour 1 tsp of corn flour salt to taste 1/ cup of coconut milk 2 3 tsp of chopped coriander leaves chopped green chillies oil for deep frying METHOD Place all the ingredients in a mixing bowl and mix with your fingers mashing some of the rice. Prepare a batter which is dry and the coconut milk is absorbed in it. You may need to add a few tsp of water to ensure that the dough is of a binding consistency. Heat oil for deep frying and drop small portions of the batter in hot oil and fry small crispy pakoras.

METHOD Soak the rice in water for 2 hours. Drain out the water and keep aside. Boil 4 and a quarter cups of water and add salt to taste. Lower the heat and mix in the soaked rice. Mix gently and also add the oil at this stage. Cover with a lid and allow the rice to cook on low fire till all the water is evaporated. The rice should remain slightly sticky. Remove from fire and Rice pakoras divide the rice into two portions. In one portion mix in the spinach, salt and jeera powder and mix gently and keep aside. In the second portion mix in the tomato sauce. To assemble: take a mould and cover half the mould with the spinach rice and top it with another layer of tomato rice. Press the mould tightly and then remove the mould gently so that you have a double-layered mould. Prepare all the moulds in this way. These can be used to serve as starters or a side dish to a main meal.

EATING RICE THE HEALTHY WAY INGREDIENTS: 1 cup of rice 1 cup of leafy vegetables – any saag – spinach, sour spinach or even red saag or any other saag available 1/ cup of chopped and peeled 2 pumpkin salt to taste 1 tbsp of chana dal soaked in water for 15 minutes 1 tbsp of oil 1 red chilli METHOD Wash the saag well. Clean the rice and soak the rice in water and leave aside for 1 hour. Heat the oil in a pan and add the red chillies and allow to splutter. Add the soaked rice and dal and stir-fry for 3 minutes. Lower the heat and add the leaves and the pumpkin and stir for another 1-2 minutes. Add 2 cups of water and add salt to taste. Cover with a lid and cook on low fire till all the water has evaporated. Serve hot with aachar. We Courtesy: India Gate Basmati Rice New Delhi. Ph: 011-26548400

It is pickling time. Put creativity into your pickles and enjoy these throughout the year. By Roma Ghosh

MANGO PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 1 kg of raw green mangoes 1 litre of mustard oil 2 tsp of haldi powder 1/ tsp of asafoetida powder – 2 hing 5-6 tsp of salt For the spice powder: 2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseed powder 2 tsp of amchur powder 20-25 dried red chillies 1 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds 1/ tsp of methi seeds – 2 fenugreek 2 cloves 2 tsp of mustard seeds METHOD This aachar is spicy. You could reduce the amount of red chillies if you want it less firy. Dry-roast all the ingredients for the spice powder. Cool to room temperature and grind to a powder in a mixer. Keep aside. 48

Mango pickle

FOR YOUR

TASTE BUDS Choose raw green mangoes which are absolutely raw and have not started to ripen even a little. Choose hard and dark green mangoes. Wash these well and cut into quarter-inch pieces. Sprinkle salt and haldi powder and keep in a clean steel container. Cover with a muslin cloth and allow the mangoes to dry in the sun or even at room temperature for 2 days so that most of the moisture is evaporated. Heat half the quantity of the mustard oil and add the hing powder and allow to splutter for 30 seconds. Mix in the mango pieces and stir gently. Put off the heat, mix in the spice powder. Mix well. In another pan heat the remaining mustard oil and pour over the spiced mango pieces. Allow to cool to room temperature. Put into glass bottles and put the lid on the jar. Keep in the sun for 8-10 days. Stays good for even a year if care is taken to keep it clean. Take out only a few Woman’s Era

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pieces of mango at one time using a clean spoon. Put back the lid and keep it in the sun from time to time. This aachar goes well with pulao or vegetable biryani.

TAMATAR CHUTNEY WITH GREEN MANGOES INGREDIENTS:

Tamatar chutney with green mangoes

1 kg tomatoes 1 green mango weighing around 300 gm 1/ tsp of haldi powder 2 3-4 tsp of ginger-garlic paste 3 tsp of tamarind paste 2 tsp of green chilli paste 1 cup of mustard oil salt to taste METHOD Wash the tomatoes. Cut into halves and remove the eyes of the tomatoes and then cut into quarters. Remove all the seeds. Peel the mango, remove the kernel and cut into very small pieces. Run these pieces in a mixture to obtain a paste. Heat half the quantity of the oil in a kadhai. Add the ginger-garlic paste and stir-fry for a minute. Mix in the tomato pieces and add salt to taste. Cover with a lid and cook on medium heat till most of the moisture from the tomatoes have evaporated. Mix in the mango paste at this stage. Stir-fry for 2 minutes and mix in the green chilli paste and haldi powder and more salt. Keep stirring and cooking on low fire for another 3-4 minutes, adding the oil a little at a time at short intervals. Once all the oil has been used up and the aachar is more or less dry, put off the heat. Cool to room temperature. Put into bottles. The aachar is ready for use and will stay good for 2 weeks without keeping in the fridge. Serve with kachories or pakoras.

2 tsp of haldi powder 11/2 tsp of asafoetida powder - hing 2 tsp of saunf powder – aniseed powder 2 tsp of amchur powder 2 tsp of red chilli powder 5-6 tsp of salt METHOD Choose raw green mangoes which are absolutely raw and have not started to ripen even a little. Choose hard and dark green mangoes. Wash these well and cut into quarter-inch pieces. Sprinkle salt and haldi powder and keep in a clean steel container. Cover with a muslin cloth and allow the mangoes to dry in the sun or even at room temperature for 2 days so that most of the moisture is evaporated. Crush the hing to obtain a powder. Also dry-grind the saunf to obtain a powder. Heat half the quantity of the mustard oil and add the hing powder and allow to splutter for 30 seconds. Now, add the saunf powder and allow to splutter for 30 seconds. Mix in the mango pieces and stir gently. Put off the heat, mix in the remaining spices. In another pan heat the remaining mustard oil and pour over the spiced mango pieces. Allow to cool to

CHILLIES AND GINGER IN VINEGAR INGREDIENTS: 200 gm of very small green chillies called Thai chillies 1 cup of ginger cut into julienne pieces Chillies and ginger in vinegar

4 cups of vinegar or enough to cover the chillies and ginger 2 tsp of salt

Mango pickle with asafoetida

MANGO PICKLE WITH ASAFOETIDA

METHOD Remove the stems only from the chillies and leave these whole. Peel the ginger and cut into thin julienne pieces. Wash well and pat-dry all the moisture. Place the ginger and chillies into a glass jar. Pour the vinegar and 1

INGREDIENTS: 1 kg of raw green mangoes 1 litre of mustard oil 50

room temperature. Pour into glass bottles and put the lid on the jar. Keep in the sun for 8-10 days. Stays good for even a year if care is taken to keep it clean. Take out only a few pieces of mango at one time using a clean spoon. Put back the lid and keep it in the sun from time to time. This aachar is not very spicy but has a fine aroma of hing and saunf . Tastes good with patties.

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cup of water and salt to taste. Close the lid. Shake well and allow to remain for 2 days before using. Use it with steamed rice. Pour a few tsp with the vinegar and the chillies and ginger over noodles or fried rice or even have it with momos. Stays good for 2-3 weeks. Make small quantities so that the freshness of the pickle is enjoyed. Serve over steamed rice or plain boiled noodles.

CHILLIES WITH JAGGERY INGREDIENTS: 200 gm of green chillies 150 gm of gur-jaggery 2 tbsp of vinegar 2 tbsp of sugar 3 tbsp of tamarind paste 11/2 cups of mustard oil salt to taste

kadhai and heat it once again. Lower the heat and mix in the green chillies. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Make a paste by mixing the crushed jaggery, tamarind paste, vinegar , sugar and a few pinches of salt. Add this paste to the green chillies and put off the heat. Mix gently. Allow to cool to room temperature. Pour into glass bottles and put the lid on the jar. Keep in the sun for 2-3 days. Stays good for 2-3 months. Tastes best with kebabs or even small puris.

CORN AND CRUSHED CHILLIES INGREDIENTS: 1 cup of crushed green chillies

Corn and crushed chillies

11/2 cups of corn niblets 2 cups of mustard oil 1 tsp of red chilli powder 1 tsp of amchur powder 3 tsp of vinegar salt to taste METHOD Heat 3 tbsp of mustard oil and saute the corn niblets for 2-3 minutes. Mix in the crushed chillies and fry for another minute. Add the salt, amchur powder and red chilli powder and mix well. Put off the heat. In another pan heat the remaining mustard oil and add to the green chilli and corn mixture. Allow the aachar to cool to room temperature. Pour into glass bottles and put the lid on the jar. Keep in the sun for 2-3 days. Stays good for 2-3 months. Try the aachar with sandwiches.

GREEN CHILLIES WITH MUSTARD AND MINT

METHOD Use thin long green chillies. Wash these well and make a slit half ways in each of the green chillies. Sprinkle salt and keep aside for 2-3 hours. Heat all the mustard oil till smoky. Keep half aside. The other half, pour into a Chillies with jaggery

INGREDIENTS: 250 gm of thin green chillies 3 tsp of dry mustard powder 3 tsp of dry mint powder 4 tsp of lemon juice 3 cups of mustard oil 11/2 tsp of salt METHOD Divide the chillies into two portion. One portion leave the chillies whole and only make a slit in each of the chillies and leave aside. The other half of the chillies crush coarsely and keep aside. Heat 3 tbsp of the mustard oil and fry both the crushed and the whole chillies for 2 minutes. Put off the heat and mix in the

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51

Green chillies with mustard and mint

powders, salt and lemon juice. Mix well. Allow the aachar to cool to room temperature. Pour into glass bottles and put the lid on the jar. Keep in the sun for 2-3 days. Stays good for 4-5 months.

AMRA PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 200 gm of fresh green amra 3 cups of mustard oil 1/ tsp of turmeric powder 2 2 tsp of salt For the spice powder: 1 tsp of cumin seeds – jeera 1 tsp of mustard seeds – sarso 1/ tsp of ajwain 4 2 dried red chillies METHOD Dry-roast the spices for the spice powder and then grind into a powder in a mixer. Keep aside. Wash the amras, lightly remove the skin and cut into four quarters. Dry under the fan or in the sun for a few hours so that all

the moisture is evaporated. Sprinkle salt and haldi powder and keep aside, covered with a clean muslin cloth for about 3-4 hours. Mix in the spice powder and mix gently. Heat the mustard oil in a kadhai till smoky. Put off the heat and add the spiced amras. Mix gently and allow to cool to room temperature. Fill into glass bottles and tighten the lid. Keep in the sun for 3-4 days for the amras to ‘cook’ in the oil under the heat of the sun. Stays good for at least 3-4 months. Tastes good with plain rice.

BLACK JAMUNS STEWED INGREDIENTS: 250 gm of kala jamun 150 gm of sugar 50 gm of broken cashew pieces METHOD Wash the jamuns and pat-dry with a kitchen towel. Boil 300 ml of water and add the sugar. Stir till the sugar melt. Bring the sugar syrup to boil and then lower the heat. Add the jamuns and allow these to simmer in the sugar syrup for 3-4 minutes. Mix in the cashew pieces and stir gently. Put off the heat and allow to cool to room temperature. Keep in a

bottle and leave in the fridge. Serve 2-3 tsp with a few jamuns and the sugar syrup on a scoop of ice cream. Looks good and tastes different. Also try serving it on a slice of cheese cake.

STEWED FRESH CHERRIES INGREDIENTS: 300 gm of fresh cherries 3/ tsp of cinnamon powder 4 2 tsp of black pepper powder 150 gm of sugar METHOD Remove the stalks from the cherries and wash these well. Pat-dry with a towel. Boil 250 ml of water. Add the sugar and stir till the sugar melts. Mix in the cinnamon powder. Bring the syrup to boil till it begins to thicken slightly – this should take around 3-4 minutes. Add the pepper powder. Drop the cherries and

Black jamuns stewed

Amra pickle

52

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Stewed fresh cherries

allow these to boil in the cinnamon sugar syrup for 4-6 minutes on low fire. Once the syrup begins to thicken put off the heat and allow the litchis to cool to room temperature. Store in an air-tight jar and keep in the fridge. Serve a few cherries with a few teaspoons of the syrup with scoops of ice cream or a slice of cheese cake or caramel pudding or even kheer.

MANGO PICKLE WITH JAGGERY INGREDIENTS: 500 gm of raw green mango 2 dried red chillies 1 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds 2 tsp of red chilli powder 1 tsp of salt

For the paste: 4 tsp of tamarind paste 150 gm of jaggery 2 tsp of sugar 2 tsp of vinegar METHOD Wash the mangoes and dry these with a cloth. Do not peel. Cut the mangoes into one inch-long pieces with the skin. Boil 300 ml of water and add the whole spices. First add the kernel and allow this to boil in the water with the spices for 2 minutes. Lower the heat and mix in the mango pieces. Boil on low fire adding salt and chilli powder stirring from time to time. Once the mango skin begins to turn colour and the mangoes are half tender add the paste. Mix all the ingredients i.e. tamarind, jaggery, sugar, vinegar and blend well to obtain a paste. Add this to the mango mixture and stir gently. Allow the mangoes to simmer in this jaggery mixture for further 3-4 minutes. Stir from time to time. Once the syrup begins to thicken put off the heat and allow the chutney to cool to room temperature. Store in air tight bottles. Stays good for almost a month. When kept in the fridge it can stay good for even 5-6 months. Enjoy it with puris or paranthans. Mango pickle with jaggery

Jackfruit pickle

JACKFRUIT PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 1 kg raw green jackfruit 800 ml of mustard oil 1 tsp of haldi powder salt to taste For the spice powder: 1 tsp of saunf – aniseed 2 dried red chillies 2 cardamoms 3 cloves 1 tsp of mustard seeds 1/ tsp of onion seeds 2 METHOD Peel the jackfruit, discard the skin and the seeds and cut into 1 inch pieces. Boil 300-400 ml of water and add salt to taste. Drop the jackfruit pieces in boiling water and allow to simmer for 3-4 minutes. Drain out all the excess water and dry under the fan so that all the moisture is evaporated. Once dry sprinkle more salt and haldi powder and keep aside covered with a muslin cloth for 3-4 hours. Dry-grind all the ingredients for the spice powder coarsely. Keep aside. Heat the mustard oil till smoky. Put off the heat and cool slightly. Mix in the spice powder and stir gently. Cool the oil to room temperature and then mix in the jackfruit pieces and mix with a wooden spoon. Put into

glass jars. Fasten the lid and keep in the sun for 4-5 days. Keep in a cool dry place. This pickle stays good for 4-5 months. Tastes good with plain rice.

MIXED PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 100 gm carrots 12-14 lemon 100 gm of green chillies 50 gm of ‘dera’ round small green balls used in pickles 200 gm of turnips – shalgam salt to taste 800 ml of mustard oil For the spice powder: 2 tsp of kala jeera – onion seeds 1/ tsp of hing powder 4 5 dried red chillies 1 tsp of mustard seeds 1 tsp of ajwain – carom seeds 1 tsp of amchur powder salt to taste METHOD Dry-grind all the spices for the spice powder. Keep aside in an airtight container till time of use. Peel the turnips and cut into quarters. Scrape the carrots lightly and cut into half-inch pieces. Make slit in the green Mixed pickle

chillies. Cut the lime into quarters. Heat 400 ml of water and add salt to taste. Add the shalgum pieces and simmer in boiling water for 1 minute. Add the carrot pieces and the ‘dera’ and simmer for a further 2 minutes. Put off the heat and pass the vegetables through a strainer. Dry under the fan or cover with a muslin cloth and keep in the sun for all the moisture to evaporate. Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and add the lemon pieces. Add salt to taste and cover with a lid. Cook the lemon on very low fire for only 2-3 minutes. Mix in the spice powder and stir gently for another 2 minutes. Put off the heat. Mix in the remaining vegetables and stir gently. Allow the pickle to cool to room temperature and then place into a glass bottle. Now heat the remaining oil till smoky. Cool to room temperature and pour into the glass bottle over the pickle. If the aachar is covered with oil the chances of it spoiling are less. Add salt to taste and then close the lid. Keep in the sun for 4-5 days and consume it with any meal. Stays good for as long as 56 months.

LOTUS STEM PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 800 ml of mustard oil 300 gm of lotus stem – bhey For the spice powder: 11/2 tsp of saunf - aniseed 1/ tsp of kala jeera – onion 2 seeds 2 tsp of red chilli powder 54

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Lotus stem pickle

1/

2 tsp of mustard seeds 2 cloves

METHOD Dry-roast all the spices and cool to room temperature. Drygrind in a mixer to a coarse powder. Scrape the lotus stem gently and cut into quarter-inch thick pieces. Boil 300 ml of water and add salt to taste. Put the lotus stem pieces into the boiling water and allow to simmer for 2-3 minutes. Put off the heat and pass the lotus stem through a strainer. Dry under the fan or cover with a muslin cloth and keep in the sun for all the moisture to evaporate. Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and add the lotus stem pieces. Mix in the spice powder and stir gently for another 2 minutes. Put off the heat. Allow the pickle to cool to room temperature and then place into a glass bottle. Now, heat the remaining oil till smoky. Cool to room temperature and pour into the glass bottle over the pickle. If the aachar is covered with oil the chances of it spoiling are less. Add salt to taste and then close the lid. Keep in the sun for 4-5 days and consume it with any meal. Stays good for as long as 5-6 months.

BITTER GOURD STUFFED PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 12-14 small karela – bitter gourd 300 ml of mustard oil salt to taste For the spice stuffing: 1 tsp of aniseed 1 tsp of carom seeds – ajwain 1/ tsp of kala jeera – onion 2 seeds 5-6 black pepper corns 1/ tsp of mustard seeds 4 50 gm piece of dried coconut – copra salt to taste METHOD Break the copra into small pieces and together with the other spices dry-roast in a pan till light golden in colour. Put off the heat and cool to room temperature. Dry-grind in a mixer to a coarse powder. Wash the karelas and make a slit into each of these and remove all the seeds. Soak the karelas in salted water for 1 hour and then drain out all the water. Dry under the fan or cover with a muslin cloth and keep in the sun for all the moisture to evaporate. Fill each of the karelas with the prepared spice powder. Bitter gourd stuffed pickle

Chole pickle

Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and place the karelas in these. Fry over medium heat turning once or twice, and sprinkling a little more salt on the karelas. Turn once or twice and fry so that all the sides of the karelas are light brown in colour. Place these stuffed fried karelas in a glass jar. Now, heat the remaining oil till smoky. Cool to room temperature and pour into the glass bottle over the pickle. The pickle is ready for consumption. Will stay good for a week or two if it is covered with mustard oil. Turn it from time to time.

CHOLE PICKLE INGREDIENTS: 200 gm of kabuli chana 600 ml of mustard oil salt to taste spice powder 3 dried red chillies 1 tsp of amchur powder 1 tsp of jeera seeds 1/ tsp of hing powder 4 1/ tsp of mustard seeds 2 1/ tsp of saunf – aniseed 2 1 tsp of red chilli powder 2 cloves Woman’s Era

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METHOD Dry-roast all the ingredients for the spice powder. Cool and grind coarsely. Soak the chanas in water overnight. In salted water, boil the chanas in a pressure cooker till only a little soft. Do not overcook. The chanas should be hard to touch..Drain out all the water. Dry under the fan or cover with a muslin cloth and keep in the sun for all the moisture to evaporate. Heat 1 cup of mustard oil and place the boiled chanas in this. Fry over medium heat turning once or twice, and sprinkling a little more salt. Turn once or twice and fry so that all the sides of the chanas are light brown in colour. Mix in the spice powder. Put off the heat and place these in a glass jar. Now, heat the remaining oil till smoky. Cool to room temperature and pour into the glass bottle over the pickle. The pickle is ready for consumption. Will stay good for a week or two if it is covered with mustard oil. Turn it from time to time. Serve with kulchas or baturas. We 55

Cool ‘n’ Fresh

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Courtesy: Tupperware India Pvt. Ltd. Gurgaon-122001, India. Ph: 0124-432-2222 www.tupperwareindia.com

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Designed by: Rohit Verma & Sanjeet Anand Model: Mansi Tambade Make-up: Meenakshi Namade Photography: Hemant Kedar

or ages, references to the Ajanta-Ellora caves have been hyphenated. In fact, the hyphen between these two World Heritage sites covers 76 km. They have much in common – and much more that is different. The biggest similarity is that both sets have been hand-hewn out of the volcanic basaltic formations of the Sahyadri ranges of the Deccan trap – a Scandinavian-derived term referring to the step-like formation of the volcanic deposits – and dated to the Cretaceous era of the geological time scale of some 65 million years ago. One can actually glimpse the channels near cave 32 through which the volcanic lava once flowed. Due to overheating, these channels have a characteristic brownish-red colour.

F

ETERNAL ELLORA Monumental marvels carved into the Deccan. By Rajib Sen

View of some Buddhist caves.

Graphic representation of the Ellora caves.

The basaltic formation of the Deccan is ideal for rock-hewing, the technique widely understood during ancient times. Depending upon the nature and mineralogical content of the lava flow, the rock formations also varied in character and texture, giving rise to various qualities like coarse-grained and fine-grained formations. The ancient builders at Ellora particularly chose the finegrained formations of the Deccan trap since it was ideal for their purpose. What’s more, they also traced the horizontal and vertical joints in the rock formation to minimise their labour and time during excavation and rock splitting. No less a similarity between the work at Ajanta and Ellora is the fact that the workers had nothing more than rudimentary hammers and chisels to work with, and that they delved into virgin hillsides from the top down and from the outside, in. But there, the similarities end. The biggest difference is that there are almost no paintings in the Ellora caves. The second is the timedifferential. While the 30-odd Ajanta caves date back to 2 BC, the 34 Ellora caves were built between the

5th and 10th centuries when the Chalukyas (553-753 AD) ruled the Deccan. Besides, the ones at Ajanta were “lost” after the 7th century (till their discovery in 1819), unlike those at Ellora. That’s because, centuries ago, the site was situated on the ancient north-south trade route or the dakshinapatha where the tiny mountain village of Verul was a wellknown stopover for traders, priests and pilgrims who have plied the route to the western ports till today. Little wonder then that, even now, the caves are locally known as Verul Leni – which was inevitably Anglicised to Ellora. However, in addition to the sculpture-friendliness if the basaltic character of the hillside, the ancient wayfarers’ familiarity with the region of Verul influenced their decision to make their presence there more lasting. That started with the excavation of Buddhist chaityas or halls of worship, and viharas or monasteries. Soon, the area also found favour with missionaries of other faiths, and over the next five centuries, Hindus and Jains also carved out their temples in the rocks Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

there. Thus, while the Ajanta works were purely inspired by Buddhism, at Ellora there are not only 12 Buddhist caves (1-12), but also 17 of Hindu (caves 13-29) and five (30-34) of Jain origin, built next to each other along a roughly straight, two-km stretch of flat land (unlike the hilly ravines of Ajanta), demonstrating the high level of religious harmony prevalent at the time. Again, unlike the 105+km ride to Ajanta from Aurangabad, Ellora is just 28 km north of this district headquarters in the Marathwada region of Maharashtra.

The Buddhist caves: Created between the fifth and seventh centuries, these mostly consist of monasteries, some quite large, multistoreyed buildings carved into the mountain face, including separate living and sleeping quarters, kitchens and other rooms. Some of these monastery caves have shrines including carvings of the Buddha, Bodhisatvas and saints. In many of these caves, the skilled sculptors had even tried to give the stone the look of wood as seen in cave 10. 69

THE JAIN CAVES, BUILT SOMEWHERE AROUND 800 AD TO 1000 AD, REVEAL SPECIFIC DIMENSIONS OF JAIN PHILOSOPHY AND TRADITION. THEY REFLECT A STRICT SENSE OF ASCETICISM AND ARE NOT AS LARGE AS THE OTHERS. BUT THEY PRESENT EXCEPTIONALLY DETAILED ART WORKS.

Cave 10, the best known of the Buddhist excavations at Ellora, is a chaitya hall ( chandrashala ) or Vishwakarma cave, popularly known as the "Carpenter's Cave". That’s because, beyond its multi-storeyed entry is a cathedral-like stupa hall also known as chaitya, whose ceiling has been carved to give the impression of wooden beams. At the heart of this cave is a 15 ft-high statue of the Buddha seated in a preaching posture. Amongst other Buddhist caves, all of the caves from 1 to 9 are monasteries. The last two caves, do tal (cave 11) and tin tal (cave 12), have three storeys.

The Hindu caves: The Hindu caves were constructed between 500 and 1000 AD and represent a different style of creative vision and execution skills. Some were of such complexity that they required several generations of planning and coordination to complete. The early caves (17-29) were constructed during the Kalachuri period, while the caves 15 and 16 were constructed during the Rashtrakuta period. Two of the most noteworthy caves are the Dashavatara (cave 15), which depicts the 10 avatars of Vishnu, and the Ramesvara (21) which has figurines of river goddesses Ganga and Yamuna at the entrance, and the Dhumar Lena (cave 29). On the back wall of the front mandapa of the Dashavatara is an inscription of a grant of Dantidurga. Two other caves, the Ravan ki Khai (14) and the Nilkantha (22), also have several sculptures. But the one that is beyond compare – and, indeed, comprehension till it is actually visited – is the stupendous Kailasha, of which more in the next issue. (To be continued)

Close-ups of some Buddhist caves.

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The Jain caves: The Jain caves, built somewhere around 800 AD to 1000 AD, reveal specific dimensions of Jain philosophy and tradition. They reflect a strict sense of asceticism and are not as large as the others. But they present exceptionally detailed art works. The most remarkable Jain shrines are the Chhota Kailash (cave 30), the Indra Sabha (cave 32) and the Jagannath Sabha (cave 33). The Indra Sabha is a two-storeyed shrine with a very fine carving of the lotus flower on the ceiling. In another cave, an imposing image of Ambika the yakshi (dedicated attendant deity) of Neminatha is seated on her lion under a mango tree laden with fruits. All other Jain caves are also characterised by intricate detailing. Many of the structures had rich paintings on the ceilings – fragments of which are still visible.

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

MONSOON NECESSITATES

REMOVAL OF MOULD FROM HOMES

Know the damage mould can do during the rainy season. By NK Pant

uring rainy season one should be aware of the formation of mould in one’s home. Mould is the surface growth of fungus on damp matter. The knowledge and determination for its removal will benefit your and your family’s health, besides giving an earthy and humid smell. Exposure to mould can cause cold-like symptoms, respiratory problems at times leading to asthma, nasal and sinus congestion, watery eyes, sore throats, coughing and skin irritations. Hence, it is not safe from the health point of view to live in houses with high mould levels. We must therefore take urgent steps to eradicate mouldy conditions from our household premises. The appearance of excessive moisture can give way to mould growth in our household premises especially during the rainy spell. Moisture seeping through walls and

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floors is likely to cause this damp malady on walls and carpeted area in the house. It must be remembered that mould conditions mostly occur under cabinets and inside walls. Also, there is a likelihood that mould might be growing unnoticed behind pieces of furniture, especially placed next to an outside wall.

PREVENT MOULD GROWTH Since mould grows on moist materials, its growth is likely in areas made soggy by water leaks, flooding, humidity levels above about 70 per cent and condensation. Any waterlogged area that was not completely drained out and dried quickly is likely to have mould. Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Walls need to be scrubbed and rapidly dried to prevent mould. Any area that is stained from water should be examined for mould problem. Peeling paint may be an indication of wet walls. For the sake of maintaining a healthy environment in our homes, we must take steps to remove the mould as a top priority. While doing so, we must put on eye-protection, rubber gloves and clothing while on the cleaning job. Mould can be removed from hard surfaces such as plastic, glass, metal and counter tops by scrubbing with a detergent. Some times, it may not be possible to completely remove mould from porous surfaces such as paper and carpet padding, in which case such items should be discarded. After removal of the mould, the area should be disinfected using a bleach and water solution or another disinfectant. We must provide adequate ventilation during disinfecting. Use fans and dehumidifiers or natural ventilation that exchange inside air with outside air. It may not be possible to eliminate all moulds and mould spores in the indoor environment. However, mould growth can be kept under check by We controlling moisture indoors. 71

A LIFT IN THE HOUSE How about renaming the device “shift”? he lift most dutifully uplifts your body and in that rhythmic movement and acceleration, the soul follows simultaneously. Don’t you feel that ‘lift’ be renamed as ‘shift’ in consonance with its exact function? When the architects designed multistory buildings for the first time, they must have had in their mind the limited scope of human energy levels to reach higher floors of the buildings which, of course, were provided with suitable staircases. So the idea of having a lift in the house came into being as an alternative to the staircase for convenience and comfort. But the nomenclature ‘lift’ given to such a new technological device does not seem to be appropriate. Why the name ‘lift’? Lift literally means to carry people or goods

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upward or to higher levels. In other words, there will be only an ascending order and no descending order whatsoever. Yet we see that a lift moves both upwards and downward. In my humble opinion I feel that ‘lift’ should be renamed as ‘shift’ which involves movements both up and down, which appears to be more appropriate. Since its original design it has seen various technological developments in its manufacturing and alterations in design and perfor mance. In modern times high-rise buildings – mostly commercial complexes and government offices – have more than 20 floors. In such buildings separate lifts are provided floorwise – i.e., one lift up to the 3rd or 4th floor, a second lift up to the 10th floor, a third lift up to the 20th floor and so on. In such buildings ‘dependence on a lift is a fait Woman’s Era

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By K. M. Sharma

accompliced. However strong and healthy a man might be he or she can’t venture to climb even up to the 10th floor by the staircase. There have been many cases of people collapsing on the stairs when reaching the 7th or 8th floor unaware of the real strength of their hearts. The author of this article faced such a terrible situation while climbing the building of The Hindustan Times and was about to collapse when nearing the 8th floor. Many times such situations result in fatality. The British provided lifts extensively in almost all their imposing buildings. In fact, the concept of lift was invented during the industrial revolution and readily accepted universally by architects and building contractors and became the hallmark of the British era. Prior to it – i.e. in the Hindu and Muslim rule – no lift or any similar

device was ever used in any highrise building. Even high-rise buildings like the Kutub Minar, Bulund Darwaza, or Vijay Isthamb of Chittor and other such buildings were provided with straight and spiral staircases and it was a fait accompliced to use staircases for the people visiting such buildings comprising more than 100 steps. Lifts are of various sizes which differ as per the requirements in each particular case. The lifts in hospitals are sufficiently spacious to carry big trollies with lots of goods and visitors and the stretchers to carry operated and sick patients. Similarly, in highrise buildings where there are a huge conglomeration of various offices, government as well as corporate, the lifts are as big as a small room. But the maintenance of such lifts is a big problem and seldom taken up seriously. In MCD lifts one has to think twice to enter and you can see the “Lift out of order” board up quite often. Still, Otis lifts are famous for their immaculate performance.

Breakdowns: This new technological development is proving a boon to mankind the world over. But, when a lift is stuck, the scene becomes most troublesome for the users and, if it is summer and the electricity is off and the lift is full of people, it becomes most traumatic. This nightmare shakes the confidence of the users and frightens them into not using lifts as far as possible. The impact of such a terrible situation on some individuals is so grave that they usually develop a disease called claustrophobia. I was also involved in such a terrible situations when the lift got stuck and, on one occasion, I was all alone in the lift and did not know much about handling the emergency situation. These incidents dampened my spirits to such an extent that I used to become horrified at the glimpse of a lift and would like to tramp up the staircase. When the lift suffers a breakdown, its repairs are equally dangerous and life-threatening. As regards the safety measures in

the lift, the following features should be worked at: ● More persons than the allotted capacity should not be allowed inside. ● As an alternative system to power failure, a battery-operated system should be provided in the lift. ● Some standby measures should be readily available in an emergency like a rope, motor etc.

Case I: The lift in a multi-storey building suffered a breakdown and it was stuck in the shaft between the floors. The lift mechanic managed to climb the roof of the lift in the shaft and started checking the problem. In the meantime, the lift started moving up with speed and the mechanic got crushed between the roof of lift and the ceiling the shaft. It was really a very horrifying death. Case II: The lift got stuck in the shaft between the floors and the mechanic had to get into the lower vacant portion of the shaft for necessary repairs. The lift was up the shaft. As the mechanic started taking corrective measures the lift suddenly started moving down where the mechanic was working. The lift came down with a thud, crushing the mechanic’s body totally flat. Death was inescapable and instantaneous. Case III: Two or three persons were coming down in a lift. Somehow the lift got stuck and stopped near the exit gate. By pressing this and that button as a trial and error they managed to bring the lift to the exit opening. Still the door did not open automatically. They tried to force open the door. As the door opened a little, one man tried to rush out through the cramped opening and, in the meantime, his leg got caught in the door which closed abruptly and the lift started moving down, thereby tearing the body and the fellow died a miserable death, and nobody could extend any sort of assistance to snatch him from the jaws of death. TV channels did telecast this horrible scene in all their news bulletins. Woman’s Era

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THEY ASSERT THAT UP TO THE 4TH FLOOR PEOPLE MUST USE THE STAIRCASE AS CLIMBING THE STAIRS PROVIDES A GOOD AND ESSENTIAL EXERCISE TO THE LEGS AND KNEE JOINTS. THIS EXERCISE OF CLIMBING THE STAIRCASE PROVIDES FULL PROTECTION FROM THE ONSLAUGHT OF PAINFUL BONE DISEASES LIKE OSTEOPOROSIS AND ARTHRITIS. 75

Death due to suffocation in lift due to breakdown has also been reported several times. These are not mere stories but two incidents that have actually been witnessed in dismay by me. A software engineer living in a group housing society had pushed the button of the lift on the VI floor only to realise there was no electricity supply. He started climbing the staircase but when he reached the 3rd floor the electricity supply resumed and the lift door at 3rd floor opened. He stepped inside assuming the lift to be there but he fell through the shaft. The lift was there but on some other floor. He plunged from the fourth floor to his death. Accidents in lifts are usually taking place though with limited frequency. All investigations in lift accidents inviable lead to a conclusion is that the lift was not fitted with the additional features. Automatic safety device which is primarily the duty of the owner of the buildings to ask for it & next is the poor maintenance. Result Nishant Sharma (27) who was to reach his office at 10th floor got stuck up in his lift due to lower failure. On a hurry the occupants slid open the lift door as the wanted to reach office in time. But while Nishant tried to come out the life got reactivalied and doors were shut. His head was caught in between the doors. As the lift moved upward, his head hit the concrete frame and his body remained in the lift until the lift automatically stopped. He sustained serious head injuries resulting in extensive blood clotting which hindered blood and oxygen supply in his brain. According to Dr’s attending on him the ICU of Antemies Hospital his chances of survival were black. This accident was a clear case of negligence on the part of DLF who owns the building Investigations are on.

Pleasurable moments: But it is not that every time a lift happens to be a harbinger of death and destruction. On the contrary, it 76

syndrome. Sometimes, their feet get swollen. The whole personality of lift operators turns that of into introverts. Their relaxation options remain restricted to listening to music, reading a book or thoroughly and repeatedly reading the newspaper. But for how long and how much? Mental fatigue usually creeps in. But still many people are engaged in this employment braving the odds.

provides pleasurable moments as well. Lovers when alone in the lift, get a good opportunity for embracing and kissing. Those who work in offices and who don’t get any privacy for lovemaking, immediately jump into the lift and release their pent-up emotions. This happens very much in multi-storey group housing societies as well. Lifts are usually closed and provide a complete privacy and stimulating opportunity and lovers utilise this situation to the maximum. Lifts going up and down with a rhythm resonate the vibes of love seekers. In it there is nobody’s loss but the lovebird’s clamour is suitably rewarded. But this relief is not available in the transparent lifts used in the outer portions of buildings. Such lifts are mostly in use in malls and other big industrial establishments.

Lift operators: In most of the lifts in bigger establishments, a lift operator is invariably provided to operate the lift as he is specifically trained for this purpose. It is seen that many people suffer from lift phobia and will not use a lift when they are alone. So to such people are extended help by a lift operator. But the life of a lift operator in general is very humdrum, dull and monotonous. The poor fellow has to sit on a stool or clumsy chair throughout the day ferrying different types of people up and down. The operators suffer from the monotony Woman’s Era

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Medical advice: Except for the people living in high-rise buildings, doctors seldom advise people to use lifts. They assert that up to the 4th floor people must use the staircase as climbing the stairs provides a good and essential exercise to the legs and knee joints. This exercise of climbing the staircase provides full protection from the onslaught of painful bone diseases like osteoporosis and arthritis. People up to 45 years must invariably use the staircase up to the 4th floor. It will provide the required strength to their legs and thigh muscles. Aged people and persons with weak hearts, of course, should avoid using a staircase as it may create serious uncontrollable palpitation of the hearts leading to cardiac arrest or heart attack. My office was at the 4th floor and I never used the lift to reach my chamber and always used the staircase with no inconvenience at all. My action and style kept others in good humour. Legal position: An aggrieved citizen or an NGO or a society can file a criminal case against the lift company and also the builders and developers and the owner of the building in case of death or grave injury or else a case of negligence can be filed in accordance with the provisions of consumer act and other civil act and seek damages for deficiency of service and using-substandard material in the lift. Information can also be sought by invoking the provisions of the right to We Information Act.

BO O M B AY FILMDOM B O M B AY F I L M D O M

he great news is that the two month long stand-off between the owners of multiplexes and the United Producers and Distributors’ Forum (UPDF) has come to an end. Although the agreement is somewhat more in favour of the Forum, the important thing is that the show biz will go on, as it should.

projects are in various stages of script writing.

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fter a few Hollywood stars shooting for Hindi films in Bollywood, now two Hollywood stars — Amalia and Stephen have gone right upto Ludhiana (Punjab) and its neighbouring villages to shoot for ‘Heartland’.

mraan Hashmi (of Raaz — The mystery continues fame) is a believer in doing different kind of role to grow as an actor. He is also doing an action thriller: Once Upon A Time in Mumbai, a Gangsters’ story based in Mumbai in the 1980s.

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et another proof that Bollywood is catching the fancy of foreign artists after shooting for an item number with Akshay Kumar for Blue. Australian singer Kylie Minaque now also wants to act in Hindi films. Isn’t that great?

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Akshay Kumar in ‘Blue’.

Emraan Hashmi loves different roles.

Amitabh - did the right thing.

eacting to racial attacks on Indian students in Australia, Amitabh Bachchan did the minimal right thing in turning down the honour the Queensland University wanted to confer on him.

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t is gratifying that just 12 months after Reliance Big Entertainment announced its Hollywood foray at the Cannes Festival last year, at least 20

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ombay Filmdom can well be proud that the film Zor Lagga Ke Haiya revolving around environment and its protection produced by the Talrejas and directed by Girish Girija Joshi has reaped a rich harvest of international awards at various world film festivals.

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ilating on her role in Paying Guests, Riya Sen says she plays Arpita, an oversensitive and melodramatic girl who’s quick to cry even if her boyfriend is somewhat late in arriving to meet her.

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Riya Sen plays the role of an oversensitive girl in ‘Paying Guests’.

Is Riya Sen wearing cross around her neck?

eacting to racial attacks on Indian students in Australia, Amitabh Bachchan did the minimal right thing in turning down the honour the Queensland University wanted to confer on him.

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ilms vying with one another for earliest release include Kambakht Ishq (starring Akshay Kumar and two Hollywood stars, Paying Guests produced by Subhash Ghai and Emraan Hashmi’s Raftaar and Tum Mile.

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hai’s film Paying Guests is a fun film revolving around a host of actors and their sweet and sour experiences as PGs (short form of Paying Guests) in big cities. Celina Jaitley who has stayed as PG at 8 places in Kolkata describes her experiences as a mix of absurd to sweet.

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amir Khan (whose aversion for awards is well known) and Rekha received the Raj Kapoor Pratibha Puraskar Awards at the 46th Marathi Chitrapat State Awards at the Shivaji Stadium in Pune. Any particular reason for this exception, Aamir?

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anny Boyle (yes, of Slumdog Millionaire fame) was again in Mumbai recently to settle the housing issue for the film’s child stars. He also attended a party at a 5-star hotel. A couple of children may get a roof over their head.

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urning up of quite a few playback singers to greet Lata Didi when

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Aamir Khan.

Celina Jaitly in ‘Paying Guests’.

Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire fame.

poet lyricist Javed Akhtar unveiled Lata Mangeskar in her own voice written by Nasreen Munni Kabir was hardly a surprise. The reason? Lata is only one of the few living legends. ome people have all the luck in the world. Like film-maker Aashwin Kumar, for instance his debut feature film The Forest was premiered at Cannes. How many film-makers can claim such a distinction?

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Sharmila Tagore looking cute at 62.

he hit pair of Jodha Akbar and Doom 2 Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan is all set to work together again in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s next film Guzarish, the film with which Sanjay Leela Bhansali is turning a music director too! Wow.

ith some people duty comes first, as it should Sharmila Tagore, a jury member at this year’s Cannes Film Festival liked the gorgeous’ Brad Pitt but refrained from meeting him. So what if Sharmila is 62, she too has a heart.

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elina Jaitly may not have hit the big leage yet, but she is not wanting in dedication. Example? Hardly had she finished shooting for Accident on Hill Road at 5 a.m. who she was called by Subhash Ghai to be with other artistes of Paying Guests at 6 a.m. And she made it.

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lumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto overtook Sonam Kapoor in being the latest celebrity from India to join the line up of cosmetic giant L’oreal, Paris. Congrats, Miss Pinto. Freida Pinto of Slumdog Millionaire is now celebrity.

ll that glitters is not gold was proved once again after Karan Johar’s Dharma Productions was slapped with a US $ 150,000 law suit in Philadelphia after it reportedly failed to pay the local workers and actors hired for its thriller Jihaad Right, Mr Johar? ilm folks who don’t get sufficient inner peace in films, get it elsewhere. Like Divya Dutta recently visited the Bhram Kumari Centre, Mumbai, to find inner peace and the truth of life. Working for street Divya Dutta is searching for inner peace.

Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai a hit pair.

children gives her another sign of peace. Good. f Danny has given a convincing portrayal in Frozen (Hindi), there is hardly any surprise, for, he has given similar performances in umpteen films in the last more than two decades. In fact, Danny wanted to be a singer, but destiny had other plans for him to make a niche of his own as an actor.

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f Shruti Hassan (who is going to give music for Kamal Hassan’s remake of A wednesday) is reportedly loaded with talent, we should better believe it, for, she’s the daughter of Kamal Hassan, of Chachi 420 and Ek Duje Ke Liye fame. And she’s pretty too.

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f Chandrachood Singh is making a comeback with Maruti Mera Dost, he is indeed welcome, for he is a damn good-looking young man. We wish him better luck this time.

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aj Kapoor was not called the original showman for nothing. Good sense of music was his forte. No wonder, all his films had great music and made most of his films — Barsaat, Awara, Sangam and Bobby super duper hits. He did Bombay Filmdom proud. – Deepak Puri.

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MOTHER-LOVE WHEN DOES IT FIRST STRIKE?

ou have gone through nine months of pregnancy and the trauma of childbirth for the first time. How did you feel during it all? It is common for women to feel excited, curious, apprehensive, worried and even afraid during pregnancy. They remain involved with themselves and what is happening in their bodies. They are looked after lovingly by their husbands, parents, in-laws and even neighbours and friends. As their delivery dates near, their excitement and apprehension grow. What will happen? Will they give birth to a son or a daughter? Will the pain

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Three women divulge when they first experienced mother-love and when they first realised that their bond with their baby was stronger, more wonderful and more enduring than any other in their lives! An eye-opener for all women. By Kasturi Rangachari be unbearable? Childbirth is supposed to be a rebirth – will they survive it? Labour starts, reaches a crescendo and the baby is born. It’s a boy! It’s a girl! Everyone waiting anxiously, explodes with joy! You have become a mother! Woman’s Era

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But…what do you feel? According to Indian films and romantic books, the new mother at once feels overwhelmed by love for the mite she had just brought into the world. She is changed for ever and the baby becomes the centre of her life. She loses her own identity as she takes on the mantle of a mother. But is this how it actually happens? Let’s ask some women about how and when they were filled with mother-love!

A GRADUAL DEVELOPMENT “It happened very slowly for me!” confessed Kavya with a laugh. “I didn’t feel love overwhelm me the first time I set eyes on my son!” Kavya had an eventless pregnancy and gave birth normally and fairly easily. “I never felt nauseous and didn’t put on too much weight,” she told me. “In fact, when I told a friend that I was expecting when I was five months pregnant, she didn’t believe me because my stomach was absolutely flat!” Kavya had gone to stay at her mother’s place – which was in the same metropolis as her sasural – when she was about eight months pregnant, she continued to work till two days before giving birth. “I’d have gone to work the next day too, but I began spotting and the doctor told me to stay in bed,” she says a trifle boastfully! This young 25-year-old was in labour for only an hour and then her son popped out, weighing a healthy 31/2 kilos! “The pain stopped so miraculously!” she remembers with a

smile. “And everyone congratulated “I at once got out of bed and told me and I felt so good! It was as if I the nurses that I wanted to learn how had completed a task I had been to look after the baby and they given, well and efficiently. I felt as I obligingly taught me how to bathe, did when my boss patted me on the soothe and change the baby; how to back for successfully completing a bundle him up and how to put him to project! “The doctor held up my son sleep. and showed him to me and I smiled, “From the day I went home, I but I was more interested in closing began to do everything for the baby. I my eyes and letting go – going to began to feel this tremendous sense sleep even as the nurses worked on of responsibility for the little mite. This me and cleaned me up!” was because of something my doctor The feeling of well-being told me before I went home. continued over the next few days ‘Remember, Kavya,’ she said, while Kavya stayed in the upmarket ‘everything that happens to this baby nursing home where she had given will be because of you. If he’s healthy birth to her baby. The baby was kept and happy, it’ll be because of you, if in the nursery and brought to Kavya he falls ill, doesn’t sleep at night, is only at feed times, so that she could cranky or if he doesn’t have a good rest and recuperate after the trauma appetite, it’ll be because of you! You of childbirth. are totally responsible for him!’ “Feeding my baby…was…a “Yes, I felt responsible for my son strange experience! A bit of an whom we named Shresht, but … ordeal, actually, because I didn’t love… mother-love? I don’t think I felt know how to go about it!” recalls it then!” Kavya with a laugh. “I felt…oh, I don’t The weeks passed and the day know! Strange?” Kavya was to go back to her marital But the strangeness disappeared home arrived. Her in-laws came in when hubby Dhanush and other the evening to take her and their members of the family and grandson home. She was friends came during visiting packed and ready and “That was hours. All of them oohed baby Shresht was the moment and aahed over the baby sleeping in the bedroom. when I really and Kavya again felt filled As Kavya’s parents and with achievement and her in-laws laughed and felt like a pride. chatted in the drawing mother! The “But, you know, I hardly room, she went into the moment felt that the baby was kitchen to make tea. mine!” Kavya confessed Suddenly she heard a when I was thoughtfully. “I hardly whimper. Shresht had flooded with thought of him after he was love for my taken away to the nursery. I thought more about the baby,” Kavya problems of feeding him finished than of him! softly. “But I suddenly felt terribly worried when the doctor told my mother that we could go home the next day. This was because it suddenly struck me that from the next day I would be expected to take care of that little mite! Of course, my mother would be there to help me but I was planning to go back home to my husband and inlaws in about a month! I couldn’t be dependent on my mother-in-law there! Woman’s Era

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got up, she realised, and she waited for someone to go and pick him up. The whimper was repeated and she turned off the gas and went through the drawing room towards the bedroom where the baby lay. “What’s the matter?” asked her mother-in-law. “Where are you going?” asked her mother. “To pick up Shresht,” she replied. “Let him sleep,” said her father. “Don’t disturb him.” “He has got up,” Kavya replied. “I heard him cry.” “None of us heard him,” said her mother-in-law blankly. “I heard him,” Kavya replied. As she walked towards the door she heard her father-in-law say solemnly, “That’s mother-love for you. A mother instinctively hears her child even when others don’t!” “That was the moment when I really felt like a mother! The moment when I was flooded with love for my baby,” Kavya finished softly.

MOTIVATED BY REMORSE “I was a self-centred, spoilt brat!” admitted Aparna when I asked her about her experience of becoming a mother. “My parents, especially my mother, always pampered me – I am an only child – and they continued to do so after I got married and during 83

my pregnancy. I don’t think that I they were just relieved that their gave my baby a thought. It was all darling daughter had come through about I, me, myself! Why, I came to the ordeal safely. As for the baby, my mother’s place for my delivery well, they would look after her and when I was only in the fourth month she would pick up! of my pregnancy – so that I could be But things didn’t work out that indulged, coddled and cosseted! ” easy. Aparna and the baby went Aunts, uncles and her in-laws, home four days after the infant had frowned and tut-tutted disapprovingly, been born, but within a day, Aparna’s but Aparna’s besotted parents mother suspected that the baby had continued to spoil and mollycoddle jaundice and took her to the doctor. their darling daughter. “I am lazy and Tests were conducted and jaundice so I didn’t want to go for the walks was confirmed. The doctor at once the doctor said I should go for and had the baby admitted to the my parents didn’t force me to,” neonatal ICU. reminisced Aparna. “I hate greens “Aparna must come and stay in a and most vegetables, so they didn’t room in the nursing home so that she make me eat them. I dislike milk, so can feed the baby,” the doctor said. they didn’t insist that I drink it! I just “But, I was reluctant to go to the sat around watching TV and gorging nursing home,” Aparna revealed. on oily snacks and they watched me “Though I had enough milk, I found with a smile! I don’t think nursing painful because that they saw past me! of the discomfort of all Aparna’s ”My husband Nikhil did those Caesarean stitches! baby – a girl try to talk to me about my So I asked my mother if I – was born responsibilities towards really had to go and feed the child I was going to the baby. Couldn’t she be very underbring into the world, but I given a bottle? weight and just pouted and told him “For the first time in my weak. “That’s life my mother glared at not to be a bore!” Aparna went into labour me! ‘No, she can’t be because nearly three weeks early given a bottle! Get up and Aparna didn’t and her parents rushed come with me!’ she eat properly her to the nursing home. groaned out through and take Labour was prolonged and clenched teeth. bad. “I hadn’t imagined exercises as that it would be so painful! she should Even now when I think of have. it...” she leaves her sentence incomplete and shudders at the recollection of those hours. “My parents couldn’t bear to hear my cries and begged the doctor to do a Caesarean. The doctor at first told them that it wasn’t necessary and that I would have a normal delivery if only I would cooperate a little, but later, when I just wouldn’t bear down and kept screaming, and my parents kept begging, she gave in and did one, after giving me anaesthesia.” Aparna’s baby – a girl – was born very under-weight and weak. “That’s because Aparna didn’t eat properly and take exercises as she should have during her pregnancy,” the doctor told her parents sternly, but 84

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“I actually felt a little ashamed of myself and got up and quietly went with my mother and father to the nursing home. My in-laws and my husband were already there. They were all staring through a glass into the neonatal ICU. My mother-in-law was silently weeping and Nikhil had clenched his jaws as if he were trying to prevent his tears from escaping. “I too went and stood by the glass and stared through it. A tiny infant wearing just a minuscule nappy lay asleep on a sheet of some kind of glass. The infant was blindfolded and her hands were lightly tied to posts on either side of the bed. An IV needle was taped into the back of the infant’s tiny hand. A series of fluorescent lights were placed both above, below and to the sides of the baby. And that baby was mine! “My father-in-law saw me and turned and hugged me. ‘She’ll be all right,’ he muttered. I gazed at my baby, at the needle running into the hand that was like a doll’s hand and felt…strange… “Nikhil turned to me. ‘Let’s go and talk to the doctor,’ he said quietly. He didn’t ask me how I was and, surprisingly, I did not mind. “The doctor was still angry with me. She ignored me and addressed only Nikhil. She told him that many newborn babies develop jaundice and that their skin then looks yellow. This happens within days of the birth, but the yellow tinge is usually slight and it disappears within a few days. No treatment is then needed. “The jaundice with its yellow tinge is caused by excess bilirubin in the baby’s skin,” she explained. “Small amounts of bilirubin are found in everyone’s blood. It is released into the bloodstream when too much of it is produced and it is then stored in tissues. The bilirubin is carried by the bloodstream to the liver where it is eventually excreted from the body. “Bilirubin is produced and released into the bloodstream when red blood cells are broken down. Newborn babies have a high number of red blood cells so a lot of bilirubin is produced and this then enters the bloodstream. Since a newborn baby’s

liver is immature, it cannot process the bilirubin quickly and so it remains in the bloodstream. It is then deposited in tissues and the skin of the baby becomes yellow. “We don’t worry if the baby is a full-term baby and the levels of bilirubin peak at five to 12 mg/dL within a few days of birth and then start to fall,” the doctor told Nikhil. “But your baby is slightly pre-born and is definitely underweight. Her bilirubin level is 15 and it hasn’t started to fall even though she is five days old. In fact, I suspect that it is going to rise farther.” Aparna heard Nikhil swallow nervously. “Is the baby in any danger, doctor?” he asked. “No. None of the other factors that can lead to complications seem to be present. But your baby is weak and this will weaken her further.” “What treatment is she receiving, doctor?” it was again Nikhil who spoke. Aparna couldn’t speak. A deep sense of guilt had filled her. It was her selfishness and immature stupidity that had led to her daughter being born weak and underweight! “We have already placed bilirubin reduction lights over and below the baby and to her sides,” the doctor explained. “This light will help the baby get rid of the bilirubin that is just under the surface of the skin. We have placed a mask over the baby’s eyes to prevent exposure to the bright light and are giving the baby an intravenous drip to ensure nourishment and also to prevent dehydration.” “I continued to be silent even after we went back to our vigil outside the neonatal ICU,” remembered Aparna in a brooding voice. “My stitches troubled me but for once I didn’t complain or demand attention. Everyone there had almost forgotten me and no one fussed over me – and, for perhaps the first time in my life, it didn’t upset me. I was called in twice to feed the baby and it was only after that that a nurse came and told my mother that I should be taken to the room that had been booked for me so that I could rest. When the baby needed to be fed, they would

send for me, she told us. “My mother blinked and looked at me. I understood that she had really forgotten about me and that she had been totally occupied with gazing at her granddaughter and worrying about her. But I didn’t mind at all. “That day, in spite of the bilirubin reduction lights, my daughter’s count went up to 22. The doctor then decided that she had to be given a blood transfusion. I could not stay in my room and rest. I repeatedly got up and somehow managed to walk to the lift and go down to the neonatal ICU. There I would join the rest of the family in their vigil. After some time, someone would notice me and insist that I go back to my room. And after some time I would come down again!” Aparna gazed into the distance as she told me all this. She was lost in her memories of that agonising day. “The doctors and the nurses drew back the curtains of the window as we watched the baby through when they started the blood transfusion, but later they drew them and we could not see her. She lay absolutely still. Was she asleep or unconscious, I wondered. The transfusion was being given through her navel, where the umbilical cord had just been cut a few days earlier. I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t been called to feed her for quite some time. “I began to tremble. My baby must be in such pain and I couldn’t even hold her and console her! And all her pain was because of me; because I hadn’t taken care of her when she had been in my womb! I bit my lips but I could not keep down my sobs. Woman’s Era

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They burst out of my mouth and I began to wail! “It was at that moment that I understood what being a mother was all about. At that moment I felt a wave of love so intense that it left me dazed, sweep into my heart!” Aparna’s baby recovered and is today, at the age of eight months, a roly-poly, active, smiling and gurgling bundle of mischief. “She’s my life!” says Aparna, but she adds more soberly, “But I won’t let myself dote on her to such an extent that I do her more harm than good!”

SOMEONE ELSE’S TRAUMA “I lost my husband in an accident just three weeks after we got married,” said Tej softly. “I was just 19 then and about a month and a half later, the doctor told me that I was pregnant.” Tej’s story is a strong argument against astrology. When her parents had set about trying to find a groom for their only daughter, they had insisted on the matching of horoscopes. Several potential bridegrooms were rejected because their family astrologer told them that the boy’s horoscope didn’t match their daughter’s. When he finally told them that Ved Prakash’s horoscope was ideal for Tej, they had happily gone ahead and splurged heavily on their daughter’s wedding. Then tragedy struck. Tej gave a twisted smile. “I initially thought that my period was postponed because of the trauma I had undergone, but my grandmother’s experienced eye noticed something different about me and she told my mother to take me to the doctor. The doctor told me that I was pregnant and I understood his words. But I had no nausea and I didn’t feel pregnant.” Tej’s parents and two elder brothers had brought Tej home after Ved Prakash’s funeral rites had been completed and the news of the pregnancy caused great consternation. “My family had already begun to whisper amongst 85

themselves that I should have encouraged her to make friends and another chance for happiness… that I to take part in college activities and should remarry…and the news that I Tej began to take part in debates and was pregnant was a bombshell! to be an active member of the “Both my elder brothers wanted college’s social service club. me to have an abortion…but…my By this time Jalaja was two years grandmother wouldn’t hear of it. Ved old. A cute, smiling and active child, had been the only son of his parents she was doted on by the whole and she said that it would be a sin to family. “I loved her too – as much as I wipe out his family by killing his child. loved my niece and three nephews,” Finally, after a lot of discussion says Tej. everyone agreed that she was right. Tej’s brothers began to seriously No one asked me what I wanted and talk about her remarriage and started even if they had, I don’t think that I to look for a suitable bridegroom. would have known what to say. I was “We’ve decided to put an ad in the numb, totally numb. My brain...my papers,” Tej heard her eldest brother heart…were both numb.” tell her parents. “It’ll say that Tej is a Tej hardly remembers how she widow with a child, but will make it got through her pregnancy. Her clear that the child is not her brothers insisted that she continue responsibility.” with her education. She had left “Yes,” chimed in her other brother. college after her second year to get “It’ll say that she is a widow with one married and her brothers decided child, but with no liabilities.” that she should finish her graduation So Jalaja was a liability, but not privately. Passively she agreed and her liability! Tej turned and walked took out her books and began to away. The tsunami which shocked study again. the world and devastated many Tej’s pregnancy continued countries, struck a few weeks later. normally and eight months As news poured in of Because after the death of her many villages and coastal husband, she gave birth to areas in Andhra Pradesh I had had a baby girl. some training and Tamil Nadu being “I was weak and hardly ravaged, the social in counsehad any milk and the baby service club of Tej’s lling, I was was put on baby food college swung into action within days of birth,” collecting essentials and attached to a recalls Tej. “And…my raising funds for the psychiatrist sisters-in-law took over her victims. It was also who was care. They looked after her decided that some completely and even kept members of the club counselling her during the night. I would go to the traumatised didn’t try to feed her, bathe tsunami her, put her to sleep – did nothing for her! I didn’t victims. even take an interest in choosing her name. It was my mother who named her Jalaja.” Tej’s sisters-in-law had two children each and were experienced care-givers, while Tej was still listless, lost and grief-stricken. “I didn’t feel like a mother at all,” she admits. “And that’s the way my family wanted it. They had not dropped their plan to get me remarried.” Tej graduated and then joined regular college to do her postgraduation. Her family 86

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Nagapatinam district of Tamil Nadu and help in the government camps to which homeless and traumatised victims of the tsunami were flocking. Tej went with the group. “We distributed what we had brought and tried to help the people in the camp we went to as much as we could,” remembers Tej. “Plenty of help was pouring in and food, clothing and shelter wasn’t really the main problem for those people. It was dealing with the loss of family members, neighbours and friends that almost all of them faced. “It was agonising for us to just hear their stories what must they have been feeling? What would a woman who had lost her husband and three children be going through? Or a young child who was suddenly an orphan? Or a girl who had lost all her siblings? And what could we say to these people to lessen their pain? Nothing! All we could do was to cry with them and share their agony. Listen to them and share their grief. “Because I had had some training in counselling, I was attached to a psychiatrist who was counselling traumatised tsunami victims. I took notes as she counselled people, and even talked to some people, myself when she was busy. “One day, a woman belonging to the fishing community, a woman who had lost her whole family, came and began pouring out her grief to me. ‘Four of my children were playing on the beach when the tsunami struck,’ she told me. ‘They were swept far out to sea by the very first wave. But my husband, myself and our youngest child were at the shops on the other side of the road bordering the beach and though we too were carried along by the retreating waves, we were pushed against a tree and managed to hold on to it. “‘Waves pounded us and we watched men, women and children being swept past us. Suddenly, my youngest child who was just seven, lost hold of the branch he was clinging to and was pulled away by the current. Both my husband and I

at once jumped into the water to save him – and all three of us were dragged under. I couldn’t breathe and lost consciousness. But when I recovered consciousness, I found myself alive because I was wedged against a rock. My husband and my youngest boy had however been swept away!’ “The woman began to weep wildly as if she were mad. ‘Why did I survive to suffer like this?’ she wept. ‘Why didn’t I die too?’ “I sat frozen, picturing the scene. Till the tsunami had struck, most of us hadn’t even known what one was. Even fisher folk hadn’t. The huge waves the tsunami brought must have looked like the wrath of god falling on mankind to them! And yet, both this woman and her husband had, without a second thought, jumped into that maelstrom to rescue their child! “But…they hadn’t jumped in to save other people or even other children! Then the instinct for self-

JOKES Principal to a three-year-old boy who was seeking admission in a convent: Well done, my child. Now what are the names of your parents? Boy: Mummy and daddy.

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Customer: I can’t eat such a rotton fish. Call your manager. Waiter: It’s no use, sir, he won’t eat it either.

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Teacher: Now, Gopi, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Gopi: No, sir. I don’t have to. My mother is a good cook.

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Politician: “Did your paper say I was a liar and a scoundrel?” Editor: “It did not.” Politician: “Well, some paper in this town said so.” Editor: “It may have been another newspaper down the street. We never print stale news.”

preservation had kept them thinking about themselves, but when their child had been in danger they had instinctively jumped into what was almost certain death in a futile attempt to save him! “Didn’t my child deserve such instinctive, unquestioning love? Shouldn’t she too have someone who was prepared to sacrifice everything – even life – to keep her safe and happy? And that person could only be me. As I sat listening to that woman weep, I felt like a mother for the first time!” When Tej came back she told her brothers that she was not prepared to get married and go away leaving Jalaja behind. “I dread to think what such abandonment would do to her emotionally and psychologically,” she told them. They listened quietly and did not protest. Tej finished her studies and got a good job. And slowly and painstakingly she began to build a special relationship with her

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A young man selected an engagement ring. When he was told the price he gave a long, low whistle. “And how much is that?” he asked pointing to a second. “That one sir is two whistles.”

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Nirmala: How is it your hair is black while your sister’s is brown? Divya: Well, my sister was born after my mother dyed her hair brown.

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Customer (In bookshop): Pardon me, miss. I’m looking for a book named Man, the master of woman. Shop owner: Sir, the fiction department is on the other side of the shop.

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A woman rang up her insurance company and said she wanted to change the terms of her policy. “I’ve just had twins,” she told the manager. The manager had difficulty in hearing her and asked, “Will you repeat that please?” “Not if I can help it,” the woman shot back. Woman’s Era

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daughter. When Jalaja, who calls her younger aunt “mummy,” began calling Tej ”ma,” she felt as if she had won a great victory. The advertisement – for Tej’s remarriage was never inserted in the newspapers. But there is today a colleague who is showing interest in Tej. “I like him,” says Tej. “But I don’t know whether it will lead anywhere. My daughter, who is nearly five now, comes first for me. Every child deserves to come first for its parents!”

WHAT ABOUT FATHER-LOVE? As I spoke to a friend about the women I had talked to about motherlove, her husband leaned forward. “What about father-love?” he asked in an injured tone. “It’s every bit as strong as mother-love. Doesn’t it deserve to be written about too?” Yes, it certainly does! But another We time!

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Director: “Why did you engage that man as cashier? He squints, has a crooked nose and outstanding ears.” Manager: “Of course, he will be so easy to identify if he ever absconds.”

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The nice old lady smiled at the little girl who had been left in-charge of the confectioner’s shop. “Don’t you sometimes feel tempted to eat one of the nice cream chocolates, my dear?” The little girl was quite shocked. “Of course not, that would be stealing. I only lick them.”

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Lawyer: “Well, if you want my honest opinion...” Client: “No, no. I want your professional advice.”

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A film actress was applying for a passport. “Unmarried?” asked the clerk. “Occasionally,” replied the actress. — Ram Babu, Vijayawada. 87

LAC ORNAMENTS ARE AGAIN BECOMING POPULAR The time-honoured glory of lac ornaments is making waves in today’s world. By Kusum Mehta

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ewellery is used in India on a magnitude that has perhaps few parallels. It seems that for every part of the human body a special ornament has to be provided. Primary articles like black beads, items from shell, lac, conch shells, iron or copper bangles, floral jewellery which are essential and considered a symbol of good omen, appear as vestiges from a distant past . Outside of metals, lac is most profusely and widely used for turning out attractive ornaments which are coveted also for their alleged power

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as a kind of charm to be worn. Lac is the resinous substance which a female lac insect produces in a translucent reddish fluid when it is embedded in a kind of cylinder of pipal, bel or bar tree wigs to lay its eggs. Lac is used in the form of sticks in two ways, one as raw material for turning out various articles, largely ornaments like bracelets, beads and little trinkets, the other is for colouring objects. The lac ornaments are used by all classes of people and the varieties seen are endless in design and colour. Bengal has quite a number of lac ornaments. The har or mala (necklace) is very long and graceful with about 200 ring-shaped pieces, all interlocked. It is usually made in golden colour, but occasionally red and green are used to form a colour scheme.

A BANGLE IN BIG DEMAND The bangle called ruli made from lac dust, the waste leftover, has a flat surface, and has the largest demand. It has a ritualistic significance and is usually a sign of marriage. In this there are various designs. One is manchkana, fish bone, which is designed on the outer surface of the bangle with the aid of colours and coloured threads, or coils prepared from varying pigments mixed with lac. Thin threads are drawn out from halfmolten, sticky lac and fixed to a stick. A single-coloured thread is called tar, when two are intertwined into a single, it is machra. Dhenkua jal has double chains patterned on the outer surface of the bangle with the help of different colours and threads, or coils made from these colours. The raw bangle is first coloured yellow, then on the base, red and yellow are adjusted with fingertips and the red threads then fixed, all this setting being carefully done to produce the overlapping zigzag effect. Thapa deoa has round, coloured drops and is called the drop design. Jal bandha is called the wired net design because of its resemblance

to a net. In sikri jal, the base colour is again yellow and the red and yellow intertwined threads are adjusted, and a zigzag is formed on the bangle in red, with fingers. The design here resembles a single chain drawn on the outer surface by the use of different colours and threads. Barphulia is distinguished by four chains on the surface again made by the use of various colours and threads. The base is the same as in the others, but here strings of red are fixed in parallel zigzag lines. In all the above-mentioned bangles, the decorative motifs resemble curved coil patterns, but in the mayurpankh the designs are patterned as the name suggests, on the peacock feathers, drafted on the outer surface of the bangle under preparation, by the dextrous use of red, yellow and black. Neither the single tar nor the intertwined machra is fixed on the surface of the bangle. The decorative motif in this is the combination of two motifs, one a plait ornament or gulloche, of two lines, the other is zigzag lines. The colours are significant and supposed to have some protective influence. Bala is a bangle with round surface. It is usually prepared from the rejected portions of finished articles and used only for adornment. Usually, two designs are made on the outer surface with an engraved brass mould, called kathar which is painted red or yellow and pressed to impress the design on the bangle. Lac work is done in a number of places like the Burdwon district, and parts of Chota Nagpur, and Purulia in Mambhum district. In Rajasthan, lac jewellery, generally

OUTSIDE OF METALS, LAC IS MOST PROFUSELY AND WIDELY USED FOR TURNING OUT ATTRACTIVE ORNAMENTS WHICH ARE COVETED ALSO FOR THEIR ALLEGED POWER.

IN RAJASTHAN, LAC JEWELLERY, GENERALLY BANGLES, IS WORN ON ALL AUSPICIOUS OCCASIONS AS A SIGN OF GOOD OMEN.

are many varieties like patla and phoolar (floral). They are also set with salma, patri, etc. Once, these used to be studded with real stones. Jaipur is a big centre for them. In Assam a composition of clay and lacquer forms the body of the bangles, and the decoration is made of pure lac, coloured and laid on narrow strips of red, yellow or blue, which look very colourful. Madhya Pradesh also makes lac jewellery, the best known being in Rewa and Indore, where ornaments such as chokers, earrings, rings, hair ornaments and large octagonal head chains are made in traditional style. Here lac is placed over tin foil and melted, so the latter is fully covered by lac. This is widely used for ornaments which shine with a golden effect. Lac and glass combine to form a special kind of jewellery in Delhi by decorating it with spangles or beads.

bangles, is worn on all auspicious occasions as a sign of good omen. Some bangles are plain, others are studded with glass pieces, bright stones, beads, etc, and are the most gorgeous. The designs on the plain bangle are the traditional lahariya (wavy) or zigzag. But in the ornamental ones there are many varieties like palia and phooldar (wavy) or zigzag. But in the ornamental ones there 90

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Some are coated with ground tin powder as paint, then covered with a tinted transparent varnish to give a metallic glimmer. To silver the bangles, tin foil is mixed with dry glue, then pounded, washed and boiled and left to stand until a silvery glue gets formed which is spread on the lac as varnish. When dry it is rubbed with glass beads. The bangles are sometimes further ornamented with glass beads, bits of tin or copper foil stuck along the edge. Lac ornaments are also made in Ellickpur and Lalitpur.

CENTRE FOR LAC BANGLES Dohad in the Panch Mahals district of Gujarat is an important centre for lac bangles and the process here calls for observation. After they have been made singly, several of them are slipped over the conical head of a rice pounder, slightly oiled for the purpose, then warmed just enough to make them stick together to form a longish single bangle. They are later rubbed with brick powder, then polished with vermilion, blue or yellow coloured varnish. Meanwhile, cotton wool is wound round a bamboo piece and hardened by wetting and pressing on which the required design is then pressed by a large iron needle. This stamp is dipped in a thin metallic paste made of boiled iron and glue, then pressed on the cylinder of bracelets to print the pattern on them. Then varnish is applied for three days to transform the white impressions into a lovely golden. The ornamentation is completed by studding the bangles with drops of tin water, coloured red or made white with chalk. Today, there are certain distinctive trends noticeable in the general attitude towards lac jewellery. Ancient forms are being sported with a sense of pride and satisfaction and are becoming popular. There is a definite swing towards antique and traditional jewellery. The old designs are in We vogue again.

IN PURSUIT OF She uses technical expertise to satisfy her creativity. By Subhra

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EXCELLENCE s a collegian, artist Sharmishtha Dutta preferred to graduate in applied arts from the College of Art, Delhi. A 10year stint as a professional in an advertising agency established Sharmishtha as a promising executive destined to reach appreciable heights in her chosen career graph. But all this while, a niggling urge to paint egged her on to take up the brush and put a few strokes on the canvas. And when she did so – voila! – the transformation was dramatic. Before long, Sharmishtha had embarked on a parallel career as a committed artist, using her technical expertise to good use in satisfying her creativity, as a fine-arts practitioner. Today, Sharmishtha has made waves in the art world and her works have been used to illustrate coffee table books. She is currently about to hold her first solo showing at one of Delhi’s prestigious galleries. What were the factors that you considered when you decided to make the switch from applied art to fine art? First, of course, was the factor of my individual preference for fine art and painting. Then I realised that the subject for both of them, that is painting, was not so different. I had

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learnt the technique of application of colours and the other details of art creation already. Fine art was, in addition, giving me a chance to express my creative side. It was this emotional connect that weighed heavily on the side of fine art, and that is why I took the plunge.

What did you miss when you decided to take up painting as a serious option? Though I was happy to be able to

Looking ahead.

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satisfy my own persona by doing a painting, I was not in daily touch with an audience any more. I had also enjoyed the gimmicks of producing an advertisement with a telling message and doing brilliant visuals to go with it, but then… painting compensated me in many ways. I no longer regret my decision.

restricted my choice of colours to black and white and shades and tones within it. Thus, for instance, the night may be in black but there might be a touch of red, or a hint of green, as well. I don’t set out with a fixed frame of colours, but certain colours begin to appeal as the painting progresses and, gradually, a palette of monochromes begins to take shape on the canvas. Of course, brilliant contrasts are not me and I purposely stay away from it.

Since when did you realise that you were cut out to be an artist? Now that I look back, I think I was always interested in art. As a child, every spare moment was spent in doodling, doing drawings and so on. It now seems that I had simply grown up with painting. What are the subjects that you like to paint? I do mostly figurative works. It is the feminine form that is my central theme. I think this form is very expressive through my works because a lot of viewers have told me that my woman looks very sensual and the face expresses so much of her inner mood of joy. I like to paint the figure not as a silent sufferer but as someone who relishes her own company and is given to introspection but not to brooding. Have you exhibited an exclusive showing of your feminine forms? As a matter of fact, my forthcoming exhibition has the generic title of In the Company of Myself. All the works are woman-

What is the predominant object that you like to place in your landscape paintings? In almost all of the landscape paintings, the invariable presence is that of the sky. It might be the dark, looming clouds of a monsoon sky, or it might be the fleecy clouds of a winter morning sky. There might be birds sitting across a line, but the sky will also be visible in that work. Objects such as a boat, a ship, might intrude unconsciously into the painting but then, it will be set against a red sky and there might be white pigeons flying across the crimson sky at twilight. centric and the more I look at the finished pieces the more I think the title given to the lot is apt. In these works, it is the woman and her many moods and her joy in knowing her self that is paramount.

How have viewers reacted to this sensitive theme? Their comments have been very encouraging. The majority of them have remarked that my paintings are easy to understand. That point is my yardstick of judging my work. I strive to make my message very simple. My art is trying to create something pleasing. There is no layering in my communication, so the viewer and artist are face to face in my work. I think I purposely stay away from creating a very convoluted message. What other themes have you explored in your art? I have also painted landscapes. My latest works are in a black-andwhite palette on this theme. I have

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What thoughts are you trying to convey through your depiction of the sky? A silver lining that appears after a dark, cloudy sky has covered one’s life. There is a message of hope contained in the grimmest of sky depictions. They are uplifting works with a message of hope. What is your favourite medium for painting? I like to use oils always and every time. I find this medium full of fun. It allows an artist maximum flexibility. One can paint a surface in it in one way, and completely change it the next time. No other medium gives an artist that freedom. Then, once the surface is covered, one can use a knife and create textures on the surface, create a splash, or subdue some part… the choices are endless. It suits my creative urges and that is what makes me go back to the canvas whenever I have time, during We the day or night.

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Q& A I am 30 years old, and married for the last five years. I have got my periods regularly and though I am not using contraceptive methods, I have failed to conceive. Please help. Having regular periods is no guarantee that you are fertile. Many such women are infertile. There may be blockage of the fallopian tubes or their movements are restricted with the result that ovulation does not take place. There are also other causes like endometerosis and chronic pelvic infections. You should consult your doctor who after examining and investigating you will be able to locate the cause and do the needful.

I am 28-year-old single woman. I have developed vesicular eruption on my private parts. Some time ago while partying I had sex with a gentleman. Please help. What you have got is probably genital herpes which develops after contact with an infected person. Your doctor will be able to take a swab from the blister and confirm the diagnosis. You have committed the mistake of having unprotected sex and that too with a stranger. There is always an increased risk of HIV infection, the virus entering the blood stream via these sores.

I am 30 years old and married for the last four years. Of late, I find that the sex act with my husband has become painful. Please help. There are two factors in your case. One is that your vagina has become narrow. This could be as a result of anatomical abnormality for any operation at that place or most commonly chronic pelvic infection. In some women lack of vaginal lubrication may be responsible. Emotional stress and use of drugs like antihistamines are also known to reduce the lubrication. You will have to consult your doctor who after examining you will be able to locate the real cause and treat you.

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I am 30 years old and have repeated miscarriages. I am very much worried. Please advise. There are a number of causes why a woman suffers from repeated miscarriages. These range from anatomical abnormalities of the genitalia, chronic systemic diseases (diabetes, severe anemia, renal disease) to STD, etc. In some women emotional stress may be responsible. You should consult your doctor who can rule out any operative cause. If no specific cause is found, do not lose heart and go on trying for a successful pregnancy. It is quite likely that you will succeed.

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I am the 40-year-old mother of two daughters. Of late, I have noticed a sense of anxiety and restlessness. My menstrual blood flow is also scanty and I am getting severe itching on my private parts. Please help. What you have is the approaching menopause. The scanty blood flow is a prelude to the complete stoppage of menses. Itching on your private parts is the vasomotor manifestation of this period and so are emotional disturbances like anxiety and restlessness. Some women get ‘hot flushes’ which are quite distressing at times. Do not worry. This is a passing phase of life. Your doctor can prescribe the required medicines to tide over the difficult period.

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I am 40 years old. Recently, I read in a magazine that every woman after the age of 40 should go for a pap smear to rule out cervical cancer. Please advise. Your report is correct. Pap smear tests can detect potentially troublesome cells in the precancerous stage of cancer cervix. If positive, one can take remedial measures and save oneself from one of the deadliest cancers in women.

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I am a 20-year-old student. First I used to have rashes on my private parts but they disappeared after some time. Now, I have developed four-five boils at that area and these are persisting. I have a boyfriend and I do have sex with him. Please help. It appears you have got yourself in trouble. It is quite likely that you have developed some form of sexually transmitted disease. I suggest you consult your doctor who after examining you can treat you.

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I am a 30-year-old housewife. When I get up in the morning my eyes are puffy and there are dark patches underneath. Please help. Puffiness of the eyes could be either due to nutritional deficiency or renal pathology. Lack of sleep also produces this. Poor blood circulation and anaemia further worsen it. You should be investigated on these lines.

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I am 30 years old, unmarried and working in a multinational. My problem is that my breasts become very painful a week or so before the onset of my periods. This is very distressing. Please help. Your problem is met commonly in some women, especially unmarried women or sterile women. It has nothing to do with inflammation of the breasts but is due to hormonal imbalance (excess of oestrogen). Your discomfort will depend on your threshold of pain. Rest assured this is a normal aberration and drugs do not help. With passage of time you will get adjusted to it. — Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.

About the artist Dharmendra Kumar Born: 10.2.1984 Education: Bachelor of fine art (College of Art, Patna) Participations: Sanskar Bharti (2000) Bihar Voluntary coordinating agency (2003) Prativest East and West Paryavaranshiksha Kendra 2000 Bihar state pollution control board Patna 2004 College of art Patna 2002-2007 PSK Laxmi Nagar New Delhi 2008 Work shops Hyderabad Varition (Painting work shop) 2006 Variation Exhibition and work shop 2007 Patna Variation Exhibition and work shop 2007 (Lalit Kala Academy, Chennai) Iocyata art gallery 2007 Awards College Annual Awards (20032007) Patna Contact No.: 09891916631 E-mail: [email protected]

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THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS LIKE!

A painter who treats objects in such a way as if they have human qualities. By Sonam Agrawal his is the way it was like” seems to Dharmendra Kumar to be the highest kind of praise for painting a canvas as he frames sombre glories of contemporary art to reflect the increasing trend of human life – individuals turning into machines. The painter in his series Reproduction system treats objects in such a way as if they have human qualities. His illustrious objects, nuts and bolts, are symbols of a quest for energy which have them own distinctive pain and passion and different cycles of life. In a life, when human beings are turning increasingly into machines, in Dharmendra’s canvas it is noteworthy to appraise the nuts and bolts turning into more of individuals. He evokes nuts and bolts in the form of a couple who is fantasising squeezing, their love juices to perpetuate their existence into infinity.

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Dharmendra, presently, has shifted his mind to another interesting development – science, scientists and a different scientific theory. He paints himself as an explorer travelling from medieval innocent abandon to a modern quest for knowledge, control and power. In one of the paintings he sketches Aryabhatt inhabiting the world with his concept of zero while the other canvas presents “the law of Newton” capturing gravity in his same nut and bolt lifestyle. Dharmendra devotes plenty of time to each object to describe these Titans in a very complimentary and generous terms. He attempts to overturn all the accepted canons of modernism and totally immerses himself in his paintings. The artist uses oil colours to master his work of art and gives an ideal edge to his compositions. His characters are nor portrayed with an aim to armour fashion; on contrary, they assert an aesthetic judgment. His observations are grounded in

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the local but his vision in unmistakably global. He is an artist to watch in future. He has avoided the limelight despite his reputation, and paints more out of necessity than a desire to reach an audience.

of these machines only. Currently, I have started to immerse myself on the theme science, scientists and scientific theory.

The figure nuts and bolts, what do they represent? In fact, a nut figures a man while bolt is portrayed as his intimate soul. As I have already said that it shows an individual turning into a machine. I think that they can be more potent symbols of mechanism trying to colonise our lives and overthrow the supremacy of humans the nut and bolt oozing the culls of life in variegated colours of life.

Excerpts from an interview: What does art mean to you? It seems to me as if it gives a great deal of freedom to the actual movement of emotion and mind in the course of life. One of the things I like about painting is the assumption that one is flawed. You never do anything exactly right; you never achieve what you aspire to.

Give a brief account of your life. My father Pashupati Sharma is a businessman in the Shivang district of Patna. My mother Adharmati Devi takes care of my house along with my three brothers and as many sisters. In 2002, I got admission in the College of Arts, Patna. It drew a sketch of my future but when my first exhibition Hyderabad Variation took place, it confirmed to me that I have to make my path in the art only. I, therefore, moved from Bihar to Delhi to observe things from inside.

How do you fashion your imagination? For me, painting is such a private, solitary thing to rediscover yourself. In this form of art you actually do something that is meaningful for other people, and it is extremely gratifying for an artist like me. At the end, I wish to become a great spirit of the age, and all the rest will fall into shadow. Tell us about something your exhibitions. My first venture was held during my degree course. It was like a workshop but instilled self confidence in me. I was frankly happy with that as at the time I had never thought of myself as someone who could fetch such senior artists at his initial stage of career. From then onwards, I never looked back.

What is the underlying theme of your art? I do painting for myself, my selfsatisfaction. My earlier works depicted the reproduction system theme in the figure of a rickshaw and nuts and bolts. It said the journey of the human being turning into a machine in the 21st century when most of the work done with the help

What does a prize matter to you? I do think it sort of accelerates the phenomenon of having art lovers in the first place, which are always a privilege and a surprise. Your next venture? If luck helps me, you (art lovers) will definitely be invited for a complete show. Some preparation is left. It may take place in November of this We year.

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R. S. Prakash

one of them has executed themselves well and creditably too. Bharathwaj’s music is a plus point. The script written and directed by Vaseegaran has a lot of twist and turns and is certain to sustain the interest of the viewers. It is one more feather in Prasanna’s cap who despite being in the early stages of his career, never ceases to experiment with characters. AKINA Productions Raghavan is a riveting thriller in which new comer Vijeeth depicts the title role that too with natural ease. Another fresher Radhika Malhotra does provide the glamour quotient for the film, which has a lot of intimate scenes. Rightly so, the film has been given an ‘A’ certificate. The central theme focuses on the excessive and high-handed behaviour of the I.T. professional who allegedly crosses the limits of decency and culture when it comes to having relationship . Manoj K Jayam as the dedicated and disciplined cop is impressive.

HAVING been under production for long, Manjal Veyyil has at last hit the screens. The film is an intriguing love – affair narrated through three characters but is not a triangular love story! Prasanna Bala (of Anbu and Kadhal Kisukisu fame) and Kadhal Sandhya play the lead roles. Each

Paranthaman who has handled the story, screenplay, dialogue and direction has done a fairly neat job. Gangai Amaran’s music is passable. WRITER-director Madhumita, who took off to a flying start with her maiden venture Vallamai Thaarayo,

which proved a hit at the box office, has this time taken up a light-hearted venture for her second film that boasts of a fun-filled title Kola Kolaya Mundirika. Mohan has assumed the responsibility for the script and screenplay and it is needless to mention that it would be a runaway comedy. The film is being produced by Thirisakthi Sundarraman and Nalini Sundarraman. The film has Karthik Kumar and Shika in the lead roles with an able supporting cast that consists of Jayaram, Anandraj, Vasu Vikram, M.S. Bhaskar, T.M. Karthik, Kota Srinivasa Rao and Delhi Ganesh. It is a treasure hunt kind of story and the full-length comedy will aim at making the audience laugh repeatedly in two hours! FEATHER Touch Entertainment’s Malai Malai’ is a big budget bonanza which has Arun Vijay in the lead role with Vedika playing his love-interest. Prabhu and Prakashraj appear in cameos and their characters are going to be highly talked about, opines a unit hand. Director, A. Venkatesh who has churned out several hits as Mahaprabhu, Chocklet, Bhagavathi, Dum, Kuthu, Yeh and Vathiyar, etc. has assumed responsibility for the story and direction. Kasthuri, former Miss

Madras is also playing a vital role in the film. The film is certain to resurrect Arun Vijay’s fortunes in the film industry. WHILE the present trend is to make action flicks K.S. Rajan and V.S. Valsalarajan have teamed up to make Aaru Maname which is a family tale. Sudhish Sankar has directed the film which has newcomer Deepak playing the lead. Nicole Karthika who paired opposite Sarath Kumar in Nam Naadu is the film’s leading lady. Kanja Karuppu is appearing in a dual role in this film. Rajesh, Sriman, Ponnambalam, Anand and Thalaivasal Vijay are also in the cast. Sudhish Shankar has handled the story and dialogue. Srikanth Deva is the composer. SIVAGIRI is the maiden venture of Illusion Engineering which sketches the life and times of a dare-devil cop named Sivagiri nearly 70 per cent of the film has been shot at Malaysia and newcomer Sivagiri is getting his break in the title role as Sivagiri. Rukshana, Chandni and Risha are his three heroines. Guhan plays the villain. Venniradai Moorthi, Vasu Vikram, Nennai Siva and Balu Anand are also appearing in important roles. Rajamani is handling the camera. Debutant scorer Arafin Yusuf has tuned five melodious songs. There are breathtaking stunt sequences and Sivagiri has performed them without using doubles. JAYAMATHI Pictures, Bayam Ariyaan has a different theme that has not been ventured on the screen so far. The theme is centred around a pair of lovers who intend to embark upon their lives from the crematorium and the mother who sacrifices herself for their sake. Fresh face Mahesh Raja is the hero of the film. Sanuja, Devi Krupa and Aswathi are the three heroines. Kishore, Manikandan, Saranya and Ponnambalam are also in the cast. K. Sarganuraja has produced this flick which has been handled by Prathesh. Some important scenes of the film have been canned at a cremation ground

in Puduchery. The songs have been shot at locations in Kulu-Manali. DREAM Valley Corporation Aayirathil Oruvan , written and directed by Selvaraghavan has at last been wrapped up after having been under production for long. It is a period potboiler with Karthi, Reema Sen, Andrea, Pratap Pothen, Alagam Perumal and Parthiban in the lead roles. G. V. Prakash Kumar is the scorer while Ramji is the cinematographer. The audio launch of the film was held on a lavish scale which had Kerala, “Singari Melam, Rope dance, Snake Dance, Kalari Fight, classical dance, Makossa Dance from Nigeria and Dallu’s fashion show.

Naal Mudhal fame Mouli is also playing an important role in the film. Sudhir Chaudhary is the cameraman. SRI Periya Andavar Films Chithira Poove is a spectacular venture, the audio of which was released recently on a lavish scale. Newcomer RS Kalaimurugan, who has been trying to start a film for the past several years without being anybody’s understudy has handled the story, screenplay, dialogue, lyrics and music besides directing the film. Newcomer Sandeep and Thamaraj play the lead roles. Sabitha Anand, Mumtaz, Saraman and many others are playing vital roles in the film which has camera work by We Tamizhagaran.

REAL Image and Satyam cinema have come together to launch their first feature film Thiru Thiru Thuru directed by the fresh director, J.S. Nandhini Ajmal and Rupa play the lead roles in this flick which will have an all-digital release in India and abroad. Shot on Red one Camera, postproduction will be in $K resolution. Nandhini JS is a former deputy of Priya. V of Kanda Woman’s Era

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TAMIL STARS S P E A K ! R. Prakash

ASAL ROLLS ON! he launch of Sivaji Film’s Asal (which means original) was certainly a celebration of sorts as the muhurat has the original flavour of a (film) carnival time. What was supposed to be simple puja function at the residence of Thespian Sivaji Ganesan at T. Nagar Chennai, turned out to be a grand gala opening ceremony that had a lot of gloss and grandeur. Ajith was obviously the cynosure of all eyes with a new hairdo and mustache with his actress wife Shalini at her side. Ajith was quiet right through the function keeping a safe distance from all. Asal will be a landmark film in my career, that’s what all he could say. If is a known fact director Saran and actor Ajith, who have come together after a long gap, are sparing no efforts to making their ongoing project Asal an impressive film. Sources close to the unit hint that the screenplay is being shaped and structured by Saran in such a way that it will possess all the trappings of a sure-fire winner. Thespian Sivaji Ganesan’s homebanner, Sivaji Films, which is

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currently managed by the veteran’s sons-actor Prabhu and his elder brother Ramkumar, is producing Asal . Initially, they had planned to shoot the film in locations hitherto never tried at all, like – Scotland, Italy, Turkey, etc. But somehow things did not work out as desired. It is now learnt that Malaysia, the preferred location of the film fraternity, is likely to be the choice that has been shortlisted. Also, the unit which was anxiously hunting for a new face to play the pivotal role of a villain in the film has

FROM WRITING TO ACTING! ilm-makers and film technicians turning as heroes is no new phenomenon. Likewise film lyricists turning as actors is also something that cannot be termed new! Late poet laureate Kannadasan played the protagonist in Karuppu Panam years ago. Valee too played a full-length character role in K. Balachander’s Poikkal Kudirai . Contemporary lyricist Vairamuthu too

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has appeared before the camera. Well-known lyricist Pa-Vijay who has established his credentials as a seasoned lyricist is now playing the lead role in Gnabagangal which is said to be memorable tale of love, which is based on a real-life story. In a touching short film that has made Pa Vijay speak about his late friend Kanthiravan, with whom he shared a room during his early days Woman’s Era

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now confirmed that Rajiv Krishna who played the baddie in Newtonin Moondram Vidhi and coolly pulled the rug under S.J. Suryah, the film’s lead man, is going to be playing the villain in Asal. Much more interesting than all the facts in the wake of the observations of current Health Minister, which had a contributory effect on the aspect of lifting the ban on screen-smoking, Ajith will be sporting a Cuban Cigar between his lips during most of his appearances in the film. From the point of view of the makers, it has been devised and designed thus in order to lend credibility to the lead character. Ajith the lead man of the film has been offered the freedom to light up the screen. According to the actor, his smoking mannerism is certain to stand out in the film. While it was already announced that Sameera Reddy is the film’s leading lady, Mamta Mohandas was to play the other heroine, but it is now believed that Mamta chose to walk out of the project as she did not prefer playing second fiddle to Sameera Reddy. Nevertheless, there are umpteen numbers of other heroines who would come forward willingly to lap it up. Isn’t?

in the industry, and Kathiravan’s love affair with Meera, who was their neighbour. Kanthiravan who believed in socialism, went back to his native place with a broken heart after he was arrested for a crime he did not commit. After a few months, when I went to meet him, he was no more. However, I found a diary in my room that belonged to him. The incidents that he recorded in his diary have been made into this film. Added Pa Vijay, ‘This film will keep his memories alive.’

The national award-winning lyricist has made his acting debut earlier but for some reasons unknown, that project proved a non-starter! But here he is now to take off as an actor. The heroine of the film is Sreedevika and one can comfortably assume that there will be enough and more of romantic scenes between the lyricistturned actor and the leading lady. The flick is being directed by Jeevan, who had made his debut through Mayilu which is yet to be released. ‘Nizhalgal Ravi’ and Chandru are

also in the main cast. Says Vijay: The underlying theme of the film is woven around the concept that every human being has some memories – good or bad that keep haunting him at every turn of life. The music of the film was released recently at AVM Studio which was attended by a galaxy of film personalities, all of whom welcomed Vijay to face the camera.

SCREEN WRITING GETS SERIOUS! ut for a few exceptions, Kollywood has always suffered from the setback of not having sufficient script writers for films despite the fact that Tamil literature has always had a veritable wealth of storytelling talent. Of course, screen writing is an entirely different ball game altogether and there is a sea of difference between writing a story as against translating the same on the screen. It has always been a case of cause and concern that India being the largest film-making country in the world, there has not been a fullfledged institute or college that came forward to offer a programme in screen – writing till recently. For that matter there has not been a proper avenue to learn the principles of craft until recently. In fact, it was only since 2004 or so, when screen – writing was looked at seriously by a few who were genuinely interested in developing the craft.

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Well, the Chennai International Screen Writing Workshop, which is the brainchild of actor Kamal Hassan that was unveiled recently, promises a fair and fine deal for aspiring screen writers. The 250 participants for the workshop were chosen from 1,500 applications. ‘If we can get at least a dozen to write passionately one new film in the next few years, we have achieved a lot,’ remarked Hariharan, director, L.V. Prasad Film and TV Academy. Atul Tiwari, who did the Hindi dialogue for Dashavatar and Anjum Rajabali – both being acclaimed screen writers and teachers have handled the sessions. In his address, Kamal declared that he would have the right of first refusal on those screen plays and hopes to pick at least one which he feels will be worthy of turning into a film. Director Rakesysh Omprakash

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Pa Vijay has also assumed responsibility for the story, screenplay dialogue and songs besides producing the film under his home banner. One more main aspect of the film is the musical score of debutant scorer James Vick, who is a former Keyboard player under the baton of twinOscar winner, A.R. Rahman. Pa Vijay lyrics have always exhibited a poetic quality. Hopefully, the same will be evident in his handling of other portfolios too. Mehra who was exclusively flown down from Mumbai to address the valendictory function, was the guest of honour. Mr Mehra went on to elaborate on how he went about structuring the script of Rang De Bansanti as well as how he dealt with the screenplay of Dilli in an unstructured fashion by resorting to an unconventional methodology of film narration. Kamal Hassan said those screenwriters need to be ready to deal with platforms which are palmsize. We have to take to platform like Youtube. Just like how everyone is different. The length of the film will change; the length will get shorter because our attention spans will get shorter. Why should every film have six songs? It’s not that I am against songs, I am against mono culture, he added. ‘We have to get talent from the small town and let them tell their stories in the universal language. People are same everywhere in the world’ observed Mehra. Veteran Writer Jean Claude Carrier, K. Balachander, Sriram Raghavan, Gollapudi Maruthi Rao, Balu Mehendra, French writer Olivier Lorelle, Shekhar Kapur, Rituparno Ghosh, Shyamprasad, Bharat Bala, Los-Angeles-based screen writer David Scrap and producer Michael Andreen were other speakers who addressed the gathering. Indeed, it was a commendable effort on the part of Kamal Hassan, whose association with the film industry is about to complete 50 glorious years! 103

BLOWING IT COLD AND HOT! ell, female film-makers aren’t entirely new to Kollywood. Amidst the new breed of young female film-makers, Anitha Udeep seems to stand out having already ventured two films in English- Knock, Knock, I am looking to Marry, way back in 2003 and Gulliver Travels, a 3 D animation film, that was made in 2006. Having set a precedent of making a film once in three years, Anith has now come up with Kulir 100 Degree, which is her first feature film. Anitha is obviously thrilled at her first feature flick assignment, ‘My target audience is the urban youth and it is about a group of students at a boarding school. I have fashioned the screenplay in such a manner that it speaks of the laughter, pain, love and anger of students belonging to the contemporary generation. New scorer Bebo Sashi is the son of Murali of the famous Sabesh-Murali team. The film has been shot in Super-35 mm by cinematographer Vijay, a deputy of Aravind Krishna. I particularly liked the way he has brought in new sounds.

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Also, we have given the film different tones based on the mood of the characters and reactions besides some good visual effects, she exclaims. Anitha has had the privilege to work with Dream Works (owned by Steven Spielberg) and has been there for nearly a year and a half. ‘I have always, wanted to make a film on teenagers most crucial years in their life. It was indeed an enjoyable task to capture the thought process of the urban youth, says she. Anitha explains the logic behind the title.’ It means cold and hot, reflecting the state of minds of teens’ Anitha has also done a three-year course in film-making in the USA. I made a short film ‘Flowery Thorn’ which pulled the attention of Dream Works in my direction. I have even worked with director Steven Spielberg and his crew on the science – fiction scenes titled ‘Taken’. The film is a youth-oriented story using their lingo and it has tried to

tell things their way. The pretty writer and director who runs the ten-screen Mayajaal Multiplex which is rated as one of the most successful multiplexes in the country, seems to have understood the pulse of today’s youth. The film has been shot at locations in Ooty, Kodaikanal and Munnar. The film has good message too. It focuses on the relationship between friends and one’s attitude towards the system and life. All the same, it is not preachy but has a nice subtle message that has been told in an entertaining manner. Film-makers like Anitha Udeep are certain to take Tamil films to further heights. We

ACIDITY

How to tackle heartburn. By Dietician and Sports Nutritionist Deepshikha Agarwal

THE SLOW AND SILENT

KILLER

ave you experienced a sour and sometimes bitter taste in your mouth, or a burning sensation in the throat, chest or stomach? Well, what you're suffering from is acidity. Ignoring acidity can actually lead you to more serious and complicated problems like peptic ulcers. It is quite a simple problem when it begins, but it can get out of hand easily if not taken seriously. There are many names for acidity like hyperacidity or acid dyspepsia or acid reflux or gastroesopohageal reflux disease, or urdhva gata amalpitta in Ayurveda. Acidity refers to a set of symptoms caused by an inequity. It is due to the excess secretion of acid by the gastric glands of the stomach. The stomach secretes hydrochloric acid that is responsible for the proper functioning of the digestive system. This acid further secretes various digestive

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enzymes like pepsin that break the food particles down for easy digestion. A normal level of acid is required in the stomach for proper digestion of the complex foods. When there is excess secretion of this gastric acid, it gives rise to a condition known as acidity. It seems to be very simple but the damage it can cause in the body is hard to imagine. Like its name, there are many causes of this acidity: ● Stress is one of the main causes. ● Smoking and excess of alcohol tends to weaken the nervous system, as a result the mucus membrane and the stomach lining stops functioning properly. ● High intakes of fatty and spicy foods, refined and fibreless foods, overeating and eating hurriedly are few causes that aggravate acidity. ● Excessive intake of caffeine and nicotine. Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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Skipping meals/fasting. Other causes of acidity or heartburn are pregnancy, ageing, anxiety and insomnia, obesity, posture, erratic meal timings and bad eating habits. Acidity is a problem that occurs very commonly; so going in for medications every time doesn't seem to be a very good thought. Some very simple, natural home remedies can be used to treat and prevent acidity. ● Chew a few basil (tulsi) leaves to get relief from burning, nausea and gas. It is an effective home-remedy for acidity. You can also have one tsp of tulsi juice every morning and before going to sleep at night. ● Keep a small piece of jaggery (gur) in your mouth and slowly suck it. Repeat it every hour till the acidity subsides. ● Drink coconut water 3-4 times a day. It is a common natural remedy for acidity. ● Have plenty of milk and milk

products – having curds and buttermilk at regular intervals will help to subside acidity. Have a glass of cold milk or a cup of vanilla ice cream for instant relief from heartburn. ● Daily intake of fresh mint juice slowly after meals will help you prevent acid reflux. ● Boil cumin seeds in a glass of water and drink it with meals. ● The fruits like watermelon, banana and cucumber also reduce acidity. ● Herbal tea containing liquorice (mulethi) is also beneficial instead of normal tea, coffee and aerated drinks. ● Drinking water in the early morning controls acidity, as water is a good neutraliser for acid. One can have a glass of lukewarm water with one tsp of honey early in the morning and start day. ● Ginger is a spice well known for its gastrointestinal complaints. ● Kokum sherbet with cumin seeds (jeera) will help you to get rid of this problem.

Line of defence/lifestyle changes to prevent acidity Stop smoking and binging on hard drinks. Smoking after meals increases the chance of heartburn. Do not lie down immediately after your meals. Before going to bed, make sure you give your body enough time to digest the food you eat. Your stomach digests the food with the help of acid. Avoid lying down after meals to keep the acid where it should be. Eat your meal at least three hours before going to bed. Proper posture is another factor which should be taken care of. While eating, avoid slouching on the table. After the meal, keep your back straight and upright. At night sleep in the right posture and at the right elevation as it will help in acidity control, like keeping your head on a high pillow of up to six inches. Avoid sleeping on/over your stomach. Wear comfortable underclothes. Tight belts should also be avoided. Pregnant women should have small mid-meals at regular intervals. To minimise heartburn, women should have solid carbohydrate foods like biscuits, rusks, khakras, bread or a fruit. At the same time avoid rich, fried, strongly-flavoured and highlyspiced foods. Eat liquid and solid foods half an hour apart. Frequent use of medicines like aspirin or Disprin should be avoided. Eat small meals at regular intervals, at least five – six meals per day. Avoid keeping long gaps. Make sure to eat little after every three – four hours. Be fit. Try and maintain your ideal body weight. Overweight people are more prone to heartburn attacks. Avoid very spicy, high sodium containing and deep-fried foods – e.g., papads, pickles, various chilli sauces etc. Finally, eat vegetables and fruits rich in fibre. Exercise helps

EXERCISE HELPS IN CONTROLLING ACIDITY. A MORNING AND EVENING WALK OF AT LEAST 30 MINS IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND KEEPS THE ACIDITY DISEASE UNDER CONTROL.

in controlling acidity. A morning and evening walk of at least 30 minutes is good for your health and keeps the acidity disease under control. Yogic exercises and meditation keep your overall internal system (like digestive systems, nervous system) and external system in good condition. Try to avoid chemically-prepared medicines – though they suppress the acid formation in the stomach, they badly affect the digestive system and have many side effects. If you don’t feel better even after various precautions, then go for the right diagnosis at the right time. Consult your physician for proper medication and treatment. A simple and easy lifestyle can keep you healthy and happy. After all, “Health is wealth” proverb was not made in a day. Every disease has its cure, so live a balanced and stressWe free life.

DEALING WITH

THALASSEMIA Children with thalassemia cause anguish to their parents. How to deal with the problem?

world’s population is a carrier and 400,000 affected babies are born each year. WHO predicts doubling of these statistics within few decades. The rapid increase is largely due to changing demographics. While all populations are at risk of thalassemia, it is most common in the South Asian community, particularly the Asian Indian community.

By Dr Kiran Bala ike any newly-married couple, the Luthras too were very much in love and started a family. But they soon realised that their child was not looking as healthy as other children of his age. He did not have much appetite and vomited often. He was not looking like a healthy sixmonth-old. A blood test showed defective red cells. A repeat test from a premier institute confirmed that the child had thalassemia major. It was a shock at first. They started thinking of the prognosis of the disease. The first transfusion for the child was a nightmare. Then the second one and the third one and it continued regularly. Parents became more used to the trauma and they tried their best to get the pricks for the child from the most experienced medical personnel. Thalassemia is a haemoglobin

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chain abnormality in which the red blood cells do not form properly and cannot carry sufficient oxygen. This condition begins during childhood and lasts throughout life. It is the most commonly inherited single gene disorder in the world. In this disease, lack of blood (anaemia) and retarded growth, decreases the survival possibilities of the patient. The patient needs frequent blood transfusion and costly treatment to avoid the side-effects of loaded iron in the body. Thalassemia major, which was considered a fatal disease, can now be effectively treated by regular blood transfusions and iron chelation. Many patients with this disease are now living in the fourth decade of life, are married and have children. Thalassemia is the world’s most common genetic disorder and it is rapidly rising. Seven per cent of the Woman’s Era

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INHERITED DISEASES Beta thalassemia major and thalassemia intermedia are inherited in an autosomal recessive pattern, which means two copies of the genes in each cell are altered. Most often, parents of an individual with an autosomal recessive disorder are carriers of one copy of the altered genes but don’t show signs and symptoms of the disorder. For the couples affected with thalassemia major is one in four. This is one of the reasons for pre-marriage screening programmes. If both the partners have thalassemia minor, the offspring can be born with features of thalassemia major. The thalassemia trait is found in people whose ancestors came from Cyprus, Greece, Italy, Turkey, the Arabian peninsula and Asia including India, Pakistan, Southern China,

Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos. It is also found in people from Africa and the West Indies. It is estimated that two million people in the USA have the “Thalassemia trait.”

If one of the partners has thalassemia minor it becomes essential to check the haemoglobin pattern by electrophoretic studies of the other partners. Beta thalassemia in India ranges from 3.5 to 15 per cent in the general population. Every year, 10,000 children are born in India, which constitute 10 per cent of the total number in the world. The distribution of the beta thalassemia gene is not uniform in the Indian subcontinent. The highest frequency of the beta thalassemia trait is reported in Gujarat, followed by Sindh, Punjab, Tamil Nadu, rest of South India and Maharashtra (1.9 per cent). It is possible to detect this prenatally by CVS and PCR techniques with a 99.5 per cent reliability. Family study for linkage analysis is preferable before or at the time of diagnosis. What we can do to prevent thalassemia: The majority of children with thalassemia major in developing countries do not receive proper treatment due to the exorbitant cost of therapy, short supply of blood for transfusion and the risk of transfusion-associated disorders. It is necessary, therefore, to reduce the burden of this disease by avoiding the birth of affected children. Currently, this can only by achieved by antenatal diagnosis. Universally, DNA-based

techniques are used for antenatal diagnosis although different centres in the world use different techniques – southern blotting/PCR and hybridisation to synthetic oligonucleotides, dot blot, reverse dot blot and PCR-based amplification refractory mutation system. The preferred obstetrical procedure for obtaining foetal DNA is chorionic villus sampling, although amniocentesis and foetal blood sampling can also be used. In India, 100 million people are carriers of this disorder, and at least 10,000 babies are born every year with thalassemia. There is a shortage of treatment including transfusion for many of these patients. A special blood test to diagnose the condition is available free of charge in these Delhi Government Hospitals: Lok Nayak Hospital GTB Hospital DDU Hospital Before marriage: Get the blood tested for diagnosing the disease/trait. If you are suffering from the trait and unmarried, avoid Woman’s Era

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marrying a person with the trait. If married: If both husband and wife have the thalassemia trait, chances of the baby having thalassemia major are 25 per cent. Get the pregnancy tested for the disease early during pregnancy to decide whether to carry on with the pregnancy. Parental diagnosis of beta thalassemia major involves a series of steps. Identification of couples at risk. Genetic counselling Foetal testing Laboratory tests Follow-up counselling Couple at risk: Couples at risk are identified by simple blood tests or, all too often, after the birth of an affected child. Carriers of thalassemia can be easily identified by the presence of microcytic hypochromic anaemia in the absence of iron deficiency anaemia. Most carriers of beta thalassemia also have higher than normal haemoglobin A2. Once the couples are identified to be at risk of having a child affected 109

with thalassemia major, they should be referred for genetic counselling and laboratory testing for identification of mutations either preconception or just after conception. The ideal time for genetic counselling is prior to conception or as early as possible after conception. After preparing the family pedigree risk of occurrence or recurrence should be explained to the couples. They should be allowed to make informed decisions regarding foetal testing. With an affected child: All couples

who have an affected child should be offered the option of prenatal diagnosis in the next pregnancy. This is widely accepted by the parents and the limitation of this application is the small number of centres with adequate facilities for foetal sampling and laboratories which can carry out molecular diagnostic studies. This approach helps the affected couple to have normal children and avoid the burden of another affected child. However, it has limited impact by itself for reducing the burden of the disorder in the community. For example, if the final family size is two children per couple, birth of only 1/8 of cases of thalassemia major would be prevented by this approach. Inductive screening: In order to be more precise, some form of prospective identification of couples at risk is necessary. One approach is to extend carrier screening to all relatives of the couple who have given birth to an affected child. This is called “inductive” screening and is

increasingly being resorted to by the relatives. For this there is a need for an educational campaign. For a preventive programme to have the maximum impact, prospective screening of all persons in the reproductive age group should be undertaken. This approach can be adopted initially by states with a high carrier frequency of beta thalassemia (more than 2.5 per cent), such as Maharashtra, Gujarat, Rajasthan, Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Bengal, Bihar, Orissa and UP. Routine thalassemia minor screening: We know that thalassemia can be prevented by marriage counselling and by antenatal diagnosis. But, in view of poor health education, the arranged marriage system and social customs in our country, marriage counselling may not be a very practical solution at present. Routine thalassemia minor screening of all early pregnancies and the antenatal diagnosis wherever We required should be performed.

Dealing with an alcoholic spouse can be tough, though it may not be that difficult to help him on the way to recovery. By Shailja Mehta

h no, not again Suman screamed in her mind as Gaurav stumbled in drunk. I can’t take this anymore. Suman’s heart beat faster as the anger inside her bubbled up reaching the point of explosion. Grabbing his white buttondown shirt, Suman ripped it open and began beating on his chest with both fists screaming at him, “Who do you think you are treating me like this! You’re not the man I married.” They married young and had 2 children. During this time Gaurav started a business, worked hard and now had an extremely successful business. But this success came at a high price. Through the years Gaurav had developed the habit of drinking too much. Now, he spent more time with his friends nursing a drink than being with his family. Alcohol controlled him. Gaurav, so intoxicated, couldn’t even react to her outrage. He mumbled something about being sorry.

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“Sorry isn’t enough.” Suman railed. The smell of alcohol emanating from his pores nauseated her. Gaurav fell onto their bed, without even changing his clothes and lapsed into a deep drunken sleep. Suman cried herself to sleep again. Often, marriage can be a difficult road. While most of us don't expect it to be perfect all the time, there are times when it is downright painful. For instance, if you're dealing with an alcoholic spouse – it can be one of the hardest things you've ever had to deal with. When dealing with an alcoholic, the problem is often kept a secret. The alcoholic tries to hide the extent of his drinking problem, and those close to him or her often assist with that process. Bringing the problem out into the open is helpful for all concerned. It does not mean, however, that the alcoholic is going to agree that there is a problem. One of the worst things we can do is make excuses for our spouses because we don't want to accept the Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

real truth. You might say, “He's stressed out right now and the alcohol allows him to relax and calm down.” You might even go as far as saying, “He's not hurting anyone with his alcohol usage, so what's the big deal?” The truth is that spouses do this all too often. If you're making excuses for your addicted husband, stop now. The truth is that your addicted spouse probably is hurting someone

– including you, children and your marriage. If you have children, it's even worse. In fact, you could be allowing your children to live in danger. No one wants to hurt their spouse or alienate them, but enabling them could be tragic. Step back and take a hard look at the situation. Refuse to make excuses for your spouse any longer. The second step is to get help. Chances are that you're not going to be able to help your spouse alone. There are many, many resources for individuals who are suffering from addictions as well as their spouses. Bringing around others who

WHEN DEALING WITH AN ALCOHOLIC, THE PROBLEM IS OFTEN KEPT A SECRET. THE ALCOHOLIC TRIES TO HIDE THE EXTENT OF HIS DRINKING PROBLEM, AND THOSE CLOSE TO HIM OR HER OFTEN ASSIST WITH THAT PROCESS. have overcome addictions or who are working on it can really help your husband find the inspiration to get through this. You may want to convince your spouse to start a programme. If you're unable to convince your spouse to get help, force him to get help. By issuing an ultimatum like you would leave him, you could be saving your spouse's life. It may be helpful for the alcoholic to hear how his or her behaviour has

IS YOUR HUSBAND AN ALCOHOLIC

IT IS ALSO USEFUL FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO BE CLEAR ABOUT HOW THE ALCOHOLIC’S BEHAVIOUR HAS AFFECTED THEM, BECAUSE IT CAN GUIDE THEIR FUTURE BEHAVIOUR. FOR INSTANCE, IF THE WIFE HAS BEEN CALLING IN SICK FOR HER HUSBAND AND SHE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT LYING TO HIS BOSS, ACKNOWLEDGING THAT IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARD CHANGING THAT BEHAVIOUR. affected others, but the alcoholic is often not in the right frame of mind to take that information in during the alcoholism intervention. He or she is often too busy denying that there is a problem. It is also useful for family and friends to be clear about how the alcoholic’s behaviour has affected them, because it can guide their future behaviour. For instance, if the wife has been calling in sick for her husband and she feels guilty about lying to his boss, acknowledging that is the first step toward changing that behaviour. Sometimes just having the opportunity to state how they feel about things can be therapeutic for family and friends. They should focus on using “I statements” and taking responsibility for their own feelings and behaviour, though. When dealing with an alcoholic, it is easy to get sucked into their 114

behaviour. It is important for family and friends to take responsibility for their own behaviour and reactions to the alcoholic’s behaviour. When they tell the alcoholic that they will no longer support his or her drinking behaviour, the alcoholic will often respond defensively. This step can be difficult for family and friends, as well. While it is critical that they stop supporting the alcoholic’s behaviour for their own mental health, they may find it hard to do so. For instance, the wife who calls in sick for her husband may feel guilty if she refuses to do so. She may feel she is abandoning her husband when he needs her help. She may even feel responsible if he loses his job.

SUPPORT YOUR SPOUSE Although sometimes this kind of situation requires a lot of tough love, it's essential for you to support your spouse at this time. Overcoming an alcohol addiction is not easy at all. Without your support, your spouse could easily relapse, wonder why they should even try or become discouraged. Remind them of the Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

great things in your life and how much you love them. This will be the fuel they need to get through this and come out the other side as a clean and sober person. This is one of the most difficult parts of dealing with an alcoholic. The alcoholic is almost certainly going to resist getting treatment. While this is the point of the alcoholism intervention, unfortunately most interventions do not convince the alcoholics that they need treatment. However, some will agree to get help just to satisfy their family and friends. Treatment is most effective when the alcoholic goes because he or she wants to, not because he or she feels forced. However, when dealing with an alcoholic, sometimes you have to take what you can get. Once in treatment, the alcoholic may realise he or she does indeed have a problem and treatment may be successful. Dealing with an alcoholic spouse is very painful and difficult. Don't neglect yourself at this time! Find support so that you can stay strong enough to help your spouse get through this. We

CHURCHILL’S WIT The funny side of Britain’s World War II Prime Minister. By Smita Shenoy

ir Winston Churchill was a great statesman, Nobel Prize winner and an artist. His speeches are world famous and have played a great role in immortalising him in the annals of history. As the late US President John F. Kennedy said in 1963, while conferring upon him an honorary citizenship of the United States, "He mobilised the English language and sent it into battle." One of the greatest qualities Churchill had in abundance was the ability to laugh at himself. One day, during World War II, he visited a naval base to observe the Asdik antisubmarine defence system in action. As Churchill watched, the system located a wreckage site and after a huge underwater explosion, several pieces of wreckage were fished out. Among them was a door emblazoned with the letters “W C” (abbreviation for water closet which is how the English term their lavatory). "The navy always knew," Churchill later

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quipped, "how to pay proper compliments." After all, WC also stands for Winston Churchill, hence the jesting comment by him. To any sarcastic comment or question thrown at him he always had an equally cutting response ready. One of the most famous anecdotes where he demonstrates this quality involves George Bernard Shaw. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill a note inviting him to the debut performance of his play Saint Joan: "One for yourself and one for a friend – if you have one." He enclosed two tickets: Unable to attend, Churchill replied to express his regrets and to ask whether he might have tickets for the second night – "if there is one." Churchill also knew how to deliver sarcastic comments with a straight face as if it was the most serious thing in the world to say. His rivalry with fellow British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin is well known. On one occasion Churchill said about Baldwin with perfect seriousness, “He occasionally stumbled over the truth

but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened." His rivalry with Clement Atlee was also quite famous and Churchill never missed an opportunity to pay Atlee a back-handed compliment. He once called Atlee "a sheep in sheep's clothing" – and, on another occasion, "a modest man, who has much to be modest about."

STRAIGHT FORWARD Churchill was equally straightforward with members of the opposite sex and loved to get the last word in any argument. One day, Nancy Astor was discussing women's rights with Winston Churchill, a man not noted for his fondness for the subject. At the height of their disagreement, Lady Astor finally exclaimed, "Winston, if I were married to you, I would put poison in your coffee!" "And if you were my wife," he dryly replied, "I'd drink it." On another occasion, Winston Churchill exchanged heated remarks

with a female MP at a dinner party one evening. "Mr Churchill," the lady finally snapped, "you are drunk." "And you, madam, are ugly," Churchill responded. "But I shall be sober tomorrow." He was also gracious in his compliments to the fair sex. On a visit to the USA one year, Winston Churchill attended a buffet luncheon at which cold fried chicken was among the dishes served. Churchill, delighted, returned for a second helping. "May I have some breast?" he asked politely. "Mr Churchill," his hostess replied, "in this country we ask for white meat or dark meat." Churchill apologised profusely and, the following morning, sent the woman a magnificent orchid with an accompanying note. "I would be most obliged," it read, "if you would pin this on your white meat." Winston’s ready wit never

deserted him even in moments of sadness or dejection. His capacity to see humour even in the gravest situation earned him many fans. Once he was defeated in his bid for re-election as prime minister. His wife tried to console him by saying that the defeat was really a blessing in disguise. "If so," Churchill replied, "it (the blessing) is very effectively disguised."

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Advancing age could not wither his repartee. Once, a photographer present at Churchill's 80th birthday expressed the hope that he might also photograph the great man on his 100th birthday 20 years later. "I don't see why not, young man," Churchill replied. "You look reasonably fit to me." Even when he was unwell Winston Churchill’s sense of humour was at its peak. As he approached his 90th birthday, he was asked the secret of longevity. "Sport," he replied. As people thought he meant that he had spent his entire life playing hectic sports which led to his long life, he stumped them by saying, “I never, ever got involved in sports.” Upon his death in 1965, The Guardian newspaper gave him a fitting obituary. It wrote, “In Winston Churchill has died the greatest Englishman of his time, full of years We and honour.”

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hanthi Cauvery Prabhakar, a senior dietician with wide experience in this profession and attached to a renowned hospital for the last two years, is crystal clear in her view that cucumber salad, green sprouted gram mixed vegetable, raw cabbage, spring salad and corn salads are a must especially for people, who are over 45. Without mincing words, Mrs Cauvery would suggest tomato, dal , mixed vegetable soup, mushroom and palak are the best five soups for vegetarians and corianders chicken, chicken, mutton, sweet corn and palak chicken soups are the five best for non-vegetarians. As far as fruits are concerned, Mrs Prabhakar would eat papaya salad, mixed fruit, apple, guava and pineapple. When it comes to proteins, vegetarians without any hesitation can take vegetarian dal , sprouted grams, paneer , mushrooms and protein, whereas the non-vegetarians according to her can opt for egg white, chicken and fish.

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HEALTH DIET

FOOD FOR THOUGHT Diverse views converge on what comprises a healthy diet. By K. V. Venugopal

Everything is all right, but what is her suggestion for people who are above 45? “Papaya is the best fruit for elderly people and alternatively they can take apple and guava,” she says and further asserts that a balanced diet is important for people who are above 45. Since life itself is sedentary, exercise is a must for both vegetarians and non-vegetarians. It is wrongly perceived that one has to take heavy food after every exercise. Most importantly, the nonvegetarians must ensure that the skin is removed from the chicken. What fish would she suggest for non-vegetarians? “Undoubtedly small fish is good and it is better to avoid fatty fish.” According to her, fried items are not required and curry, steamed food, boiled vegetables and raw salads are good. She also suggests shunning carbonated beverages.

DIETARY TIPS What is her suggestion for juices? “Always look for fresh juices,” she reminds the readers. Can she name, the best five? ”Carrot, pomegranate, apple, mixed fruit punch and mosumbi juice,” she answers readily. What are the five milkshakes she would suggest for our readers? Coconut milk, pomegranate milk, banana milk, milk, apple and soya milk. Soya milk contains rich proteins, which will suit people, who are over 45. Vanitha Shekhar, a dietician, who was associated with Naturopathy Hospital for two years, opines when it comes to salads, vegetables and sprouted pulses are the best and it should contain both green leaves and tube roots. Raw carrots and carrot cucumber are good but she would not suggest carrots for diabetic patients. There are two categories of vitamins: fat-soluble and watersoluble. “Fat-soluble vitamins reduce your fat,” says Vanitha and adds that wheat items are generally good for health. For instance, ragi can keep a person healthy for 20 years. She is of the opinion that everything depends

on our preparation. For example, many people would prefer eating uppama, a famous south Indian dish by preparing it in various ways like rice uppama, bread uppama and so on. “Raita and sooji items would suit even people who are above 45,” says she. As far as soups are concerned, Vanitha says she would suggest any soup, but when asked to name the five best soups, she said tomato, vegetable, sweetcorn, sweetcorn chicken (for non-vegetarians), dal mahogani, green peas clear soup (for patients) and carrot, but would not suggest Maggie in the long run. She also rules out fast foods. When it comes to proteins, animal food would suit non-vegetarians. Can she name a few? Yes, she said and named fish and eggs. “But, of late, people started treating egg as a vegetarian item,” she laughs and went on to add that two types of fish, namely, preserved and fresh fish, would suit nonvegetarians and preserved fish, would ideally suit the people who are over 45. She would, however, advise eggless cake for asthma patients. Vanitha insists that people should opt for fresh food with an emphasis on milk and milk products, as it

“WE MANAGE TO EAT AROUND THE SAME BUT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT I TAKE CHICKEN SOUP AND SHE OPTS FOR TOMATO SOUP.”

contains vitamins. Boiled vegetable augurs well and keeping items for hours together in the fridge and boiling them suddenly hampers one’s health. “Whether you like it or lump it, you need to take at least eight glasses of water a day, but not between meals, including for people who are over 45. When it comes to fruits, Vanitha without battling an eyelid would suggest apple, banana, orange, jackfruit, dates, kismiss and mango. For mango, it is better if people take mangoshake than the fruit as it contains more vitamins. Likewise, she would suggest the inside portion of jackfruit and the side portion of orange. These fruits would ideally suit people who are over 45. 67-year-old Bhatnagar, who is

working in a courier company on a retainership basis, said even at this age he maintains a balanced diet and his 61-year-old wife Rohini, follows in his footsteps in leading a healthy life. “I am a nonvegetarian, but my wife is a strict vegetarian, but, despite our age, we manage to remain fit,” says the man with a sense of humour and adds that the couple is fitness-savvy. He, however, maintains that one has to be particular about the time factor. Could he describe his and his wife’s eating schedules? “We manage to eat around the same but the only difference is that I take chicken soup and she opts for tomato soup.”

HEALTHY LIFE-STYLE He went on to add that bread and butter with salad for breakfast makes them comfortable. What do they do for lunch? “A mixture of rice and wheat, a typical lunch with which Maharashtrians whet their appetite.” And what about their dinner? A rotidal -vegetable combination settles them for a sound sleep. Of course, they admit that for a change they go for idlis or dosas for breakfast and a sumptuous lunch laced with oily stuff. But in general, Bhatnagar said that they stick to their normal food. “Without fruits after dinner, it looks like a ship without a rudder for us,” he laughs. Dr Parthasarathy cited the example of the late C. Rajagopalachari, affectionately called Rajaji and the first governor-general of India, whose brain America wanted to experiment with after his death. According to him, the elderly statesman always cleaned the leaves after having his rice items to ensure that the subsequent sweet and fruit items did not get spoiled. The genius also commented that every person has more or less the capacity to choose the items which he or she could cherish, but most of them do not go according to their We preferences.

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A Question of Purity A short story with an intriguing end. By Gayatri T Rao

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uneet looked at Pavithra and his eyes softened. Pavithra was his subordinate in the human resources department of an MNC located in Chennai. He had been trying to catch her attention for long, not as a boss, but in a very personal sort of way. Pavithra looked a typical South Indian girl regularly wearing a sari. The flower and garlands that she wore on her hair attracted him. However, Pavithra had not responded like any other girl would. Finally, he made his move. “Pavithra, I would like to marry you.” To which Pavithra replied, “My mother is a paralytic patient. My life is dedicated to taking care of her.” “Will you stay unmarried all through your life for your mother?” She just smiled and left his cabin. Being the MD, Puneet Purushottaman had access to Pavithra Jayakanthan’s CV. He found out her address and sent his parents with a marriage proposal. He was confident that her parents would accept his proposal. When his parents reached Pavithra’s home, they met her parents. Pavithra’s father, Jayakanthan, introduced them to his wife, who was sitting on her bed. “We bring our son’s marriage proposal for your daughter, Pavithra,” said Purushottaman. “My son studied from the 8th grade in the USA living with his uncle. But he missed Indian culture and would not intermingle with the girls there. He did not like their having affairs with any and every boy. He liked Indian girls, so he got a transfer back to Chennai.” “Sir, if that is the case then you should know a truth about Pavithra,” Jayakanthan said. “She is not our child. I met her when she was 14, about 10 years ago, as she landed in Chennai Central Railway Station, without a ticket with her eight-month-old brother, Kunal. She was scared and crying. I

felt pity for her and paid the fine myself. Then I brought them home. My wife had already had a paralytic attack. Pavithra was helpful in taking care of her, so we adopted her legally since we were childless. I don’t know where she is from or what caste she belongs to. She requested me to put her in a good school since she had been studying in a convent school before. Eventually, she did her MA and MBA and went to work in the MNC where your

SHORT STORY

mother and I son came to work recently. Now we can afford to have a nurse to take care of my Being the MD, were thrown out of our wife only because of Pavithra.” Puneet “She is not my daughter, she is my Purushottaman house since we belonged to a conservative South Indian family. mother,” Mrs Jayakanthan, who was had access to We left Delhi and set off for sitting on her bed, partly healed, put in. Pavithra Mumbai. When we got down at “We do not have any objection if your son Jayakanthan’s Mumbai Central, from the very wants to marry her.” CV. He found little my mother knew about Mrs Purushottaman happily started out her address Mumbai, we got into a local train arranging the shagun items on a plate. and sent his and went to Nalla Sopara. As we “But I can’t marry your son,” this was reached that station, we went to Pavithra herself. parents with a the west side and walked aimlessly “Why, beta? You are getting a very marriage towards a slum area there. An old good life. Why are you throwing it proposal. lady was selling bhajias there. The away?” Mrs Jayakanthan asked. moment we saw the bhajias, we “There is one truth that nobody were hungry. We used whatever little including you both, know about me,” Pavithra money we had to buy some of the eatables. looked at her mother. “The child you think my “Then my mother requested the old woman to brother is actually my son!” help us with shelter. The old woman told us to stay Everybody looked at her shell-shocked. with her since she lived alone. We would help her “When I was 13, I made a big mistake in life. out with her business. There I gave birth to Kunal. We were living in Delhi then. Without knowing The old lady may have been very sympathetic to our about the repercussions, I had an affair with a boy condition but not the other people in the slum. The in my school. Kunal was the result. When I realised boys in the area would tease me and had a that I was pregnant, it was too late to abort. My crooked eye on me. My mother died of a heartbreak since she could not give me a safe and protected place to stay. Before dying, she asked the old woman to promise that she would give me and my son safety. But the old woman told me to run away from that place since she was not in a condition to protect me. She told me to introduce my son as my brother for my safety. “I caught a train and reached here. You know the rest of my story. Your son is looking for a pure girl. I am not worthy of him. And I can’t leave my son. I can’t subject him to the torturous life I’ve had for no fault of his,” Pavithra finished her narrative. “Mr Purushottaman, this is a question of purity,” Jayakanthan said. “You can understand though Pavithra made a mistake early in life, she has suffered a lot. You cannot say that she is impure, either. Purity comes from the heart.” “Now I do not know what to say. I am tongue-tied. But it is up to my son. We will abide by his decision,” Purushottaman replied, as the guests got up. When the Purushottaman couple had turned around and were going towards the gate, Jayakanthan could see a couple of question marks behind them. We

LATEST

GADGETS FOR YOU

Hi-Fi technology to fit in your life style. By Anoop Verma

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LG KS360: The good news is that you are never going to miss your PC or laptop again. Enter LG KS360! This full QWERTY slider phone weighs just 108 grams, and yet it offers a screen that is quite comfortable to watch. You don’t even have to open the keyboard in order to start dialling, the front panel will transmogrify into a 2.4-inch touch screen whenever you need it. A 2 MP Camera proves great for video recording, and there are the MP3 players and FM radios to dish out your favorite tunes in stereophonic quality. Compatible with Edge and GPRS networks, the phone is quite fast on the Internet, and you are going to enjoy it for instant messaging and email.

are incorporated that make it so easy to snap professional-quality pictures. But that is just what you should expect from this power-packed 12.1megapixel system. There is the Intelligent Auto Mode, called iAuto that will automatically enable you to pick up the mode that will yield best photo quality. Then there are features like Smile Shutter, Face Detection

Amazon Kindle: If you are a booklover, it is time to get yourself equipped with this latest gizmo to emerge from the ensemble of the online giant Amazon. With the Amazon Kindle you are going to have access to thousands of books, newspapers or magazines. The device is just 1/3 of an inch and it weighs merely 10.2 ounces, which makes it lighter than a typical paperback. It is outfitted with 3G technology and that gives it the ability to seamlessly download material from www.amazon.com. Under normal circumstances it might take you about 60 seconds to download the latest bestseller or the latest hot magazine. The best thing about the Kindle is that it has enough space to hold 1500 books. That must sound like a hefty library, but it is a library that you can carry with you wherever you go! And if you don’t want to strain your eyes, the Kindle offers you a way to start using your ears for the reading purpose. It is incorporated with a new text-to-speech feature that will read out every page to you. The bottom line is that if you are a reading buff, you simply can’t do without the Kindle. Sony Series T - DSC-T90/T: Honey, I shrunk the camera! Sony has done it yet again, the latest stylish camera to emerge from the ensemble of this tech-behemoth, the Series T - DSC-T90/T, turns out to be ultra-slim, at a mere 5/8 inches. It is a perfect fit for your pocket or a small ladies’ handbag. In its petite frame, all sorts of powerful features

and Optical SteadyShot that make the rigmarole of capturing the perfect shot seem so easy. And once you have clicked the perfect shot, the wide 3.0 (7.6 cm) LCD touchscreen poses as an ideal place to view it.

simple – just one click in standby and you are online. The phone supports Wi-Fi and 3G networks. If anything, the 320×240 pixel 262K TFT QVGA display is good enough to watch music videos in most vibrant colours. In situations where you want to shoot pictures and videos, the phone’s 3.2megapixel camera poses as a good

option. The internal memory is of 120 MB, which can be expanded up to 4GB.

ITouch: When the iPod and the iPhone come together, what do you get? It’s an iTouch. The innovative new gizmo from the ensemble of Apple features a multi-touch interface, a large 3.5-inch display, that lets you control everything using only your fingers. Gliding through albums with Cover Flow has never been so easy; you can flick through photos and enlarge them with a pinch. A touch-screen QWERTY keyboard is perfect for browsing the web. Search for videos, find music on the iTunes music store or add new contacts. Sony Ericsson W705: This sleek and stylish phone from Sony is totally geared to jazz up the mobile entertainment experience for its users. The W705 is an out and out music-centric phone whose technological zeitgeist lies in delivering ultra-lucid audio quality. Your favorite songs are available at the touch of a button. And if you want have a peek at popular clips on YouTube™ and video podcasts then that too turns out to be absurdly Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Nokia 5700 Xpressmusic: So you wish to turn your mobile phone

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into a MP3 music player or a camera? Just twist the lower half of the phone’s body. But that’s not the only way by which the Nokia 5700 makes life easy for its users. It is also blessed with a 2.2 inch 240 x 320 pixel QVGA TFT screen, which turns out to be a real eye candy to watch videos on. A set of dual speakers and a 5-band equaliser with bass boost promise crystal-clear sound. So next time you are travelling and a whiff of boredom catches up with you, just flip the phone and start watching your favourite music video.

Dell Latitude E6400 XFR Laptop: Spare a tought for those though women serving in the defense forces. Think of Latitude E6400 XFR, the new tough woman’s laptop to emerge from the ensemble of Dell. Embellished with an innovative Ballistic Armor Protection System, the XFR easily meets and even exceeds the toughest military standards. It has twice the impact strength of magnesium alloy and a higher drop-tolerance than any other computer in its class. It also turns out to be 90% faster than any other computer in its class. Clearly, when Dell does something, it does it in a way that will leave competition far behind. You can use the XFR in the middle of a raging hurricane and still expect to get away it. The state-ofthe-art PrimoSeal™ technology makes this beast totally impervious to minor annoyances like dirt, wind, snow and water. But the best thing about the XFR is that it is as smart as it is tough. It runs on latest Intel® Core™2 Duo Processors, it has a 126

fast-charging battery and the 14.1” LCD screen is impact-resistant.

Microsoft Arc Mouse: The mouse has evolved. It is now much more versatile and feature-packed than ever before. Equipped with a 2.4 GHz wireless USB micro-transceiver, it has a range of up to 30 feet. So you can even lounge on the bed and use this mouse to operate the screen from a distance. The much-admired scroll wheel is there, and so is the battery-status indicator. The best thing about the Arc Mouse is that it is capable of folding to 60% of its expanded size, in order to spare valuable space. You hardly need to find an extra pocket to bag it; this mouse is so small in its folded avatar that you could even stuff it in your jacket pocket. The superlative ergonomic design and a one-touch access to Windows Flip 3D are like an icing on the cake.

Sony Ericsson Xperia X1: The slim and easy-to-navigate Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 comes packed with features that make it as desirable to music and gadget lovers, as it is to the enterprise users. The phone is run on a Windows Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Operating System and its touchscreen functions might seem a lot like what it is in the iPhone. But in Xperia X1, you have to use a stylus to enter your touchscreen commands, as the Windows icons are really small. The Office apps include Word, PowerPoint, OneNote mobile, Excel mobile, and Windows Live Messenger. The system can also have direct push for emails using Microsoft Direct Push, which is built into Windows Mobile. Then there is the state-of-theart music system, a 3.2 megapixel camera and enough storage space to store all the pictures and music that you treasure. The phone even boasts of a video call camera so that you can see the other party while you are calling them. That should seem like a good way to keep in touch with your family and friends while you are on the move.

Sony Walkman: Sony’s slim and stylish NWZ-S618FBLK Walkman packs just about everything that you may need to take your favourite entertainment with you. It has a powerful digital music player and a spectacular 1.8” LCD screen that promises hours of nonstop viewing pleasure. Its eight GB drive can store up to 5000 songs and 8 hours of video. An added plus is the Walkman’s versatile FM tuner that can be preset for up to 30 We channels.

LOST YOUR LIBIDO? GET IT BACK

If you are feeling low because of your libido here is how to get high again. By Vikas Kumar Jain he last time, you were hot in bed was when there was a heat wave. And the only thing that gets turned on once the lights go out is the alarm clock buzzer. Maybe your spouse pesters you to do the mattress dance more than you want to. You may even oblige, but you don’t really want to and don’t really enjoy it. Is there something wrong with you? Sex therapists don’t like to play a numbers game when talking about frequency of intercourse and what’s considered normal. They’re more concerned with determining what’s right for a couple to maintain a healthy relationship. If you’re in a relationship and you make love one or two times a month or less, that might be considered low. But who’s to say what level of desire is “more desirable”? Low libido becomes a problem that should be addressed only when it is perceived as problem. Sex therapists say, “It’s usually only in the

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framework of a relationship that it becomes an issue.” It’s when there is a discrepancy in desire between the person and the partner, or when people feel there’s something wrong with them because they have a low level of desire. Everyone experiences peaks and troughs in sexual desire, an ebb and flow in libido, that could be caused by any number of factors, from a bad childhood to a bad day to a bad illness, from too much stress to too little time. Occasionally, a hormonal imbalance or prescription drug will help to sap your sex drive. And, of course, there’s a difference between sexual drive and sexual function. You may be able to become aroused and experience orgasms yet have little or no interest in doing so. (That’s why seeking professional advice from your doctor or a qualified sex therapist is not a bad idea if your problem persists). If your lowered libido persists and you perceive that you have a problem, what can you do about it?

Symptom relief: Libido is an appetite and it often can be very difficult to help someone acquire the taste for something or to acknowledge to themselves that they really do have a craving for some thing delightful. You can present tempting foods like a luscious dessert but that won’t necessarily help someone who doesn’t feel like eating or who denies himself or herself the pleasure of eating sweets. Here’s what therapists might suggest to cultivate a sexy sweet tooth and put a lilt into your libido. Sample from the sexual spice rack: For many couples, sex becomes as exciting as doping the dishes because they do the same thing all the time. Reading a sexual manual and trying new positions or new techniques may add a renewed dash of zest to making love.

Don’t forget to touch: People with low libidos are often reluctant to express any sort of affection towards their mates. They may believe their gestures amount to teasing or will spark a debate over making love, but the loss of touch makes their partners feel unwanted and unloved. Couple should maintain or resume expressions of affection — a kiss on the cheek or lips, casual touches on the arm or shoulder, a brush of their hair. Both partners need to demonstrate that they care, but with the understanding that the display of affection is not a signal for sex. Read something risque: You don’t have to don sunglasses and a raincoat and creep into an adult book shop, but you could read some romance novels, love poems or erotic literature to try to nurture or enhance your own sensuality. Spend an hour in the shower: Don’t treat bath time as just a threeminute clean-up before you dash out of the door to work. Avail yourself of all the sensual experiences in the shower or bath. Feel the pleasure of the water as it dances on your skin. Lather yourself sensually, perhaps with a loofah sponge rather than a flannel. Use bath salts and slightlyscented candles.

Let your fingers do the talking: Take the time and pleasure to know your own body and your partner’s without any pressure to have intercourse and orgasm. Focus on the leisurely exploration of each other’s bodies and share the joy and intimacy of that alone. Touch each other, feel and caress each other’s genitals, notice the sensations of your two bodies as they move about. Tell each other what feels good. Don’t hesitate to help yourself: Sexual self-gratification is not dirty or wrong. In fact, a person with low libido can use masturbation to learn what feels good to his or her body, so that sex provides a positive instead of a negative feedback. Practise first in private where you won’t be selfconscious, then broach the topic of mutual masturbation with your partner.

Mind over sexual matters: In conjunction with sexual-enhancement techniques, there are other kinds of strategies to heighten a low libido. You can deal with the immediate problem of techniques, but that might not help for ever or save a relationship.

MORE APPROACHES Dig yourself out of the dumps: Depression can produce some very physical symptoms and is one of the most common causes of an inhibited sex drive. When you’re depressed, you have an interest in practically

PEOPLE WITH LOW LIBIDOS ARE OFTEN RELUCTANT TO EXPRESS ANY SORT OF AFFECTION TOWARDS THEIR MATES. THEY MAY BELIEVE THEIR GESTURES AMOUNT TO TEASING OR WILL SPARK A DEBATE OVER MAKING LOVE, BUT THE LOSS OF TOUCH MAKES THEIR PARTNERS FEEL UNWANTED AND UNLOVED.

nothing. Certainly your libido will be decreased too. It just flies out the window.

Look in your medicine chest: A number of prescription and over-thecounter drugs, especially certain types of psychiatric and anti depressant medications and some pills to lower high blood pressure, could dampen libido for both men and women. Some drugs also interfere with your ability to be aroused. If you’re using medications that you think are responsible for decreasing your sex drive, stop taking them. Speak to your doctor and ask for alternative drugs. Ask for help: From your spouse, that is. At least, at first. He or she may, after all, have been the first to note the low libido. Whether it’s exploring each other’s sensuality, experimenting with new positions or trying to get in the mood more often, explain to your spouse that you may feel awkward, self-conscious and a bit stressed in attempting to change, but that you want to do it for the sake of the relationship. Tell him or her that you need him or her help and understanding. Talk to yourself or perhaps a friend: Ask yourself why your sex drive has taken a nosedive. Has it always been that way? What was happening in your life and relationship when it veered? Mull it over in your head, and then talk to your partner, a friend or a family member who knows you well. They may help to spark some insight. Take time to address your stress: He works, she works. He’s tired at the end of the day, she comes home late several evenings a week. The kids have homework that needs to be checked. The ambition to excel professionally, the demands of raising children, the need to maintain social connections — all these stresses put the brakes on the sex drive. That can out you in a state of apathy when it comes to sex. None of these everyday,

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every-week worries leaves much time, ambition or emotional energy for making love. You may need to give sex higher priority in their relationship. Try making a date with your partner. Not just to make love, but to talk to each other, hold each other and share your feelings and concerns about each other. That may help to restore your sexual interest.

HELP FOR THOSE HORMONES It’s also entirely possible that your libido is being K.O’d by a hormone imbalance in the body. Here’s what you should consider:

Deal openly with the menopause: Some women may notice a declining interest in sex during menopause. It’s a common side-effect while the body is trying to adjust. Oestrogen-replacement therapy can help return your libido to normal. Once the unpleasant symptoms of the menopause have stopped, the drive returns and could even be enhanced. If you are going through the menopause, ask your doctor about hormone replacement therapy. Wait out the pregnant pause: Hormonal changes during pregnancy, especially the last trimester and lactation often can dampen the drive for sex. Hormones are present in different levels at these times. Loss of libido immediately after childbirth and during lactation is nature’s way of spacing children. Test your testosterone levels: If you’re a man who seemingly has no psychological reason for a lack of desire, you may want to ask your doctor about having a blood test to measure your body’s level of testosterone. Low levels of the male hormone aren’t a common cause of sapping your sexuality, but it always must be suspected. Depending on the cause, a doctor could prescribe either testosterone injections or a medication that counteracts other hormones that are suppressing naturally-occurring testosterone. We

QA &

Q& A When my younger brother declared that he was a homosexual our household underwent a lot of tension. Finally my parents accepted his declaration and the fact that he will never marry. He now lives in another city with his lover. My other sister is now getting married and my brother says he will attend only if my parents allow his ‘partner’ as well. He expects my support but I don’t know what to do. Yes, you have a valid point because accepting your child’s sexually different behaviour is one thing for old parents but to see him with his male partner while the family members are there is quite another. Tell your brother that he should not either be so rigid as he might have ‘come out of closet’ this family gathering is more about your youngest sister’s wedding and should be given due sanctity.

My girlfriend is 10 years older to me. Can I marry her? We love each other very much. Her parents know about us. But mine don't. How shall I convince them? Please let me know. You have not mentioned your age but if you are of legally marriageable age then you can marry her. As for convincing your parents, it is not going to be easy as 10 years difference is rather a lot for parents to ignore. However, if you love the girl and are sure of your maturity you can still go ahead, get married and hope that your parents will accept you.

your sister your concern and observations but it is up to her judgement as to the treatment she is willing to tolerate from her husband.

I am a housewife but my elder sister is working in a MNC at a very senior post. I visited her home for a weekend and was horrified how badly her husband treats her and does not help out with any household chore and yet expects her to wait upon him. I don’t work and yet my husband helps me in house work and baby care. How do I make my sister understand her husband is using her? You are lucky if you have an understanding husband who helps you out in your home duties even though you are at home and not working. Your sister obviously is smart enough to hold down a job that pays her well. You can mention to

I have 2 daughters aged 5 and 2 1/2 years. Please advise me on the healthy food that I could give them. Is it okay for them to eat chocolates (I am very strict about eating chocolates and also drinking cold water)? On the whole they are active but my younger one hasn't gained weight as per her age. While it is good to be a disciplinarian there is nothing to be gained by total denial. Let your daughters eat chocolate but in moderation and always caring for the teeth by brushing them afterwards. If your younger daughter seems too thin for her age, it is best to consult a child specialist. Every child is different in their metabolism and maybe she is just built different to her elder sister, don’t worry about it too much. Woman’s Era

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July (Second) 2009

I am 15 years old girl. Recently I have found that my boobs are not in proper shape. When I am lying down straight my boobs fall on sides also they are tender and soft. Are there any oil and cream massages to make them firm? At the age of 15 your body is still growing but if you feel your breasts are loose you should exercise. There are no creams or oils to make breasts firm and you really would be wasting time and money on that. Get yourself the right fit of the bra as well to give ample support to your breasts.

I am 25 years old and I am in love with a Brahmin boy for the past 3 years. His parents are not agreeing to our marriage and he won’t go against his family. My parents have now got me engaged to a guy from my caste. As I have dosha in my kundali and it says I might never get married my parents have forced me into this engagement. I never liked this guy from day one and finding it difficult to accept him. I hate it when he calls me and can’t stand him. There is still 5 months for our wedding. What shall I do? Whatever you do, don’t marry a man you absolutely hate. You have to face to the facts that your Brahmin love has definitely decided not to marry you. Don’t punish another man for that. Tell your parents that you cannot go through this marriage, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Hopefully, you are a new generation girl and do not believe in kundalis, etc. Do you feel confident of finding somebody on your own later, if not, then see if you can compromise with the man selected by your parents. If you cannot stand him now, how will you make a family life with him? 115

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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

Nikita S. Man tri,

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CWinners O Nof Crossword TES T - 155

Payal Kathuria, Raipur.

Faizabad. Lt. Pushplata,

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Delhi.

Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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Rules and Regulations

A prize of Rs 15,000 will be given to the person sending an all-correct solution. In case there are more than one sender of an all-correct solution, the prize amount will be divided among the first 30 competitors chosen by lot. The decision of the management will be final and binding. Entries must be on the crossword printed here. Photocopies will not be accepted. Entries must be sent so as to reach Woman’s Era by 31 August 2009, by ordinary post. No corres pondence in this matter will be entertained. The contest is not open to the employees of Delhi Press. Every entry should be accompanied by the sender’s family photo. If you are declared a winner, your family picture may be printed in the oncoming issue. Please send a signed declaration that you have no objection to printing your family picture.

S. C. Sharma, New Delhi.

Answers to Crossword-155 Across: 1. Commission, 6. Nought, 9. Pan, 11. Avert, 12. Instil, 13. TM, 14. Clip, 15. Tram, 16. Dot, 17. CN, 18. Mac, 21. TB, 22. Campaign, 23. Due, 24. Tribe

ssake, didate, 2. Mou t, Down: 1. Can en tm e, 5. Oin 3. Sit, 4. Nap Art, . 10 t, en am rli 7. Hair, 8. Pa . DC, 19. Tat, 14. Candid, 16 Di 22. Bee, 23. b, Tu 20. Ape, 21.

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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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MONEY MATTERS

Q& A When we switch on iron, can one garment alone be ironed? Don’t use iron for one garment only. It consumes a lot of power. While ironing, press some clothes always. My TV had developed fault after a few months of use. How many days will it take for my complaint to be heard by the dealer? Write to both the dealer and company and ask for after-sales service or replacement of the television. If they don’t take heed of your complaint in 15 days, a consumer court can be approached.

I live near a multiplex. The shopkeeper selling soft drinks in our area charges us higher, because he says the multiplex also asks more from customers. Therefore, he asks us to pay Rs 20-30 extra. Is he right? A multiplex, mall or airport is allowed to charge more for soft drinks, because the bottles carry words like “select channels” and “retail,” on them. The locality shopkeeper sells soft drinks which don’t carry these printed words. Hence, he can’t charge Rs 20-30 extra. If he persists, a fine of Rs 2,000 can be imposed. My daughter is to enter college. We want an education loan quickly. How many days would it take for loan to be given? You can get education loan in 30 days.

Q

I go on frequent business trips. Are air fares cheaper in evening? I want to save money on flights. Take afternoon flights – they are most economical.

Q

What does pure zari contain? According to the Bureau of Indian Standards, pure zari has minimum 50% silver, 0.5% gold and also copper, at permissible levels.

Q

I have been wanting to purchase gold coins, but there is one small query. Would the coins cost the same at all banks? No, there can be a difference between gold coins at different banks. For example, if you want to purchase a 5 gm gold coin at one bank, the coin may cost less than Rs.600-700 than at another bank. It is advisable that prices at different banks are checked, before buying the smallest gold coin, also.

Q

Though my car has a warranty, somebody said that I have to be careful about parts like the clutch. What does it mean? The car warranty covers parts, and generally excludes wear and tear. Therefore, if the clutch plate is pressed heavily many times, it may break. The car dealer can escape giving compensation, on ground of bad usage. To avoid such situations, car parts like battery, tyres and oil filter must be delicately handled.

Q

Do I have to show a lot of documentary proof to open a simple savings account? You would be glad to know that according to new RBI rules, just an affidavit and a photograph are essential for starting an ordinary savings account.

Q

Should I go in for fans with six blades, to cool my rooms? A fan with six blades does not create a cooling effect. As there are so many blades, the space constraint prevents the fan from circulating air.

Q

Should I get valuation of my ornaments done before putting them in a bank locker? A valuation certificate of ornaments is always desirable. For safeguarding jewellery against bank locker theft and also for insurance purposes, the valuation document is a great asset. You can also get pictures of jewellery taken before putting them in a bank locker.

Q

Can light brightness be altered, to reduce the power bill? Yes, you can use a light dimmer. For example, when bright light is not required, the dimmer cuts off extra shine. Thus, voltage is reduced, lowering the electricity bill. It is estimated, when a light dimmer is utilised for cutting off 50% brightness, as much as 40% of the power bill comes down.

Q

I want to sell products at Internet shopping sites. What kind of items can be considered? Is the investment large? One can sell apparel, jewellery, books at websites. The investment is very low. Just Rs.1,000 may be enough. E-mail your queries to: [email protected] Meenakshi Subramaniam is a former IRS officer, answering all your money queries, right from income tax to supermarket shopping. Mail your queries to:

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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

145

a fact of it. Sex is et’s face today increasing and life. But liberation in sexual have resultedand tolerance ional practices unconvent orienta d sexual once encourage were that to be tions d taboo considere a number by quite accepted t on of people. judgemen in passing t Without experimen prefer to this liberal those who affairs, to their sexualbehaviour could lead s attitude and ces if parameter safe sexual serious consequen le and met. to pleasurabnot observed and the are with true activities is also proper The same lacking public on o general appreciati ding and standard understan issues and the sexual healthlead to neglect of which could sexual rights. should b partners’ encounter Every sexual responsible attitud a coupled with can result in unwant of it The lack lead to emotio that may ons, pregnancy ical complicatithe ch also and psycholog parents but only for the sex also exposes se d Unprotecte high risk of contrac to a dise partners transmitted sexually chronic Even (STDs). deceived. besid Do not be healthy person a se seemingly with afflicted without y can be d disease transmitte knowing it. p that person STDs may Though some , most ST that obvious symptoms atic infectionssigns asymptom noticeable can b show . Thus, they symptoms infection. Thes the “silent” be diagnosed can only

L

LET TRUE LOVE PREVAIL

I refer to the article, STDs STDs Spoilers in Sex SPOILERS LIVES Lives (June II). I sincerely feel the absence of real love and affection that has to be the sweet blender in the lives of married couple, to be one of the main reasons for either of them going astray and acquiring such dreaded deceases. A strong realisation that they are made for each other and that till death they have to be loyal to each other in tune with the vow they have taken at their holy matrimony would deter them from indulging in extramarital affairs. Let true love, which is eternal, prevail over carnal feelings that are really short-lived. – Tharcius S. Fernando, Chennai. IN SEX

of the Many forms life disease make couples. difficult for By Vikas

EDITORIA

Kumar Jain

L OF

LOK SABHA

SPEAKER as the FIRST WOMANelection of Meira Kumar is a DS Lok Sabha tary he unanimousSpeaker of the Parliamen first woman event in the Indian Minister and e memorabl Deputy Prime Ram, Meira millions of former nce again, on and Daughter Babu Jagjivan s. Each year, post and ving examinatiobtaining history. universitie Dalit leader, new ideals for the school-lea colours set prominent girls. appear in hopefully the Indian out with flying Over the years, Kumar will model for of a theoretical them pass marks. a good role millions of per cent 90 per cent is something whether 80 to 90 of present more than n Speaker ary politics, more than securing a problem A non-partisa d parliament students In this regard, created In Delhi in party-base number of This has construct hold in practice.after her election ed colleges. growing. may not soon marks is to be in well-reput than 50 thousand it may or of seats more a press conference Kumar promised every Obviously, shortage , for example, in just two days. in addressing soft-spoken Meira opportunit ies to also sold University to Speaker, and give say. She forms were students seek admission her big or A impartial” his admission s while meritoriou the seats are limited. of “entirely of Parliament to have above party line all these rise But the future national Member colleges. parties to hangs on issues of reputed asked politicalin discussion on education. mark, therefore, part question the higher timely taken has to . aspiring for Kapil Sibal has very importance mostly the Speaker ent taking students Developm the House, Minister Although, e conduct of New HRD Human Resource office, he charge of ensure smooth special significanc and over the ly after assuming that skill acquires the office of defection and declared Ministry. Immediate area. his priorities the main thrust when issues crop up. outlined be ation turn the the foreign nt would disqualific could even to review developme in the last Such decision nt also. Ms Kumar he sought to Secondly, was introduced governme office her Bill, which not be passed, due fate of a dignified the university of the to but could Parties. This will bring as a member She It Lok Sabha by the Left minister. in strength. opposition years of experience of and as a vigorous has dwindled university entire Left Lok Sabha desired qualities the foreign be time, the to have the and a commitment certain that seems to seems Sibal almost Kapil his seems patience, to fruition. do what amiability, first his Bill will come for he wants to not do in to fair play. of the nation’s in a hurry, Arjun Singh could Arjun Singh the first The election or and now bent of predecess towards years ago a strong term. Leftist two is desire President entire five-year and Kapil Sibal sector. a genuine Women’s is woman Speaker indicate education this context,has been in is well known d. There woman ent. In of liberalising is understoo s. Then, empowerm proponent crucial, which eagerness women universitie n Bill becomes Kapil Sibal’s of seats in Indian Kumar get admission a dearth could not and all that. Reservatiofor long. day with Ms is certainly n s students the light of cold store say that India in it may see like reservatio to ease the all the meritoriou Let’s pray we can proudly reasons and held will s is likely Only then, respected due to various But who in the Chair. women are truly foreign universitie students. of indulged Indian where Entry of don’t get lated issues , a land in favour universities women-re as a situation mechanism high esteem. these foreign time, other still being treated regulatory foreign ensure that ting only? Proper At the same They are before any violent crimes. soil. in place be ignored. become target of in pick-pocke feet on Indian must be t and mentallya d. cannot and often to plant its self-relian therefore, beforehan ding in commodity is allowed also be checked be educated, in nation-buil higher university should of people, They should they can participate like BA, that Their credibility for a large number strong so al courses many women thing, courses is convention has seen One more still means doubt, these USP is big way. the country fields, but their numberent etc. No education al their No doubt, a and B.Sc., their fields. But women empowerm in their profession be a B.Com, it so that in , why is which will experts more excellingfar between. Therefore, Otherwise produce of the hour, and declining. a CA commands is the need entire few scale the m We constantly an MBA or fact, In mansera.co engineer, g. at mass indication. our society? doctor, an overhaulin write to: letters@wo money, in to positive complete respect, and be able system requiresMinister will HRD education the new tenure. during his Hopefully, (Second) 2009 this mission Era ● June complete Woman’s

AT CROSSROA N STILL the begun in HIGHER EDUCATIO process has of students admission

O

T

MEIRA KUMAR, A FITTING CHOICE AS SPEAKER

Your tribute to Meira Kumar on her elevation as the first Speaker of the Lok Sabha is very apt – First Woman Speaker of Lok Sabha (June II, 2009). This soft spoken former IFS officer who has served the nation in different diplomatic assignments is endowed with many qualities which have encouraged the UPA Government to select her to adorn the most coveted seat in the Lok Sabha. Apart from being the daughter of Babu Jagjivan Ram, a prominent Dalit leader from Bihar and one of the tallest leaders of the pre and postIndependence era, Meira has been an MP for decades and has also 146

served as a minister at the Centre. There is no doubt Meira with her rich parliamentary experience coupled with her pleasant manne risms, would prove herself worthy of the august seat she occupies now and thereby pave the way for her to be the automatic choice of both the ruling as well as the opposition parties to succeed Pratibha Patil, the incumbent President when she completes her five year term of office in the Raisina Hills. – Yvonne Fernando, Chennai.

WHAT GO

?

WHY MARRIAGES SUCH EXPENSIVE AFFAIR?

ES INTO OUR

IAL MATRIMON ZAS EXTRAVAGAN

I fully agree with the views expressed by K. M M. Sharma in the article (June I), What goes into our Matrimonial Extravaganzas that marriage is a personal affair that needs to be celebrated in a simple and dignified manner. These days marriage has become an expensive affair and people spend more than their capacity. It is really absurd that some people borrow money to spend on such occasion. Simple marriage with a few guests can lead to a lot of saving. Money thus saved can be used for the future needs of the married couple. – Harinder Kaur, Jalanadhar. rious The multifa complexities rn Hindu of a mode marriage highlighted. By K. M.

Sharma

ss middle-cla wealth. Even remained display of not or have website uncalled-f atrimonial recent survey families by the wedding ’s shadi.com revealed that untouched of the so-called y e of lavishness alia. surprisingl have percentag paraphern ay weddings a very low and than 30 per Present-d affairs women (less planned wish to planners — become d wedding cent) nowadays start to weddings cent specialiseeverything from include have lavish , 70 per manage projects otherwise a small Their marriage ns – national with finish. women preferred n destinatio – venues of ceremony al honeymoo and simple internation of marriage, and also as well s as of close relatives . ceremonie and a handful vegetarian the different to court marriages menu — season is Chinese, consented with the wedding its sumptuousarian ental As usual, with all non-veget corner other intercontin — Indian the and of round a Mexican of different flavours with . The pattern hullabaloo fact, has gone through ent dishes in entertainm the dholak traditional wedding weddings, with from the and showy traditional nach-gana t, police and huge transition to a noisy on instrumen and simple greater emphasis the main vulgar as affair with s and a allocation financial (First) 2008 Era ● October Woman’s

remains so powerful in our heart and soul that we hardly bother to analyse the detailed characteristic of duping elements. Instead of pointing fingers at any authority or sect, let’s evaluate as to how effectively can we contribute to improve the scenario. – M.P.S. Chadha, Mohali.

TTERS MONEY MA

want to use the mobiles but I have two present. How can financial for the fine order? important n, one be kept in in a dry How shouldlike house registratiobe unused mobile unused mobile keep it s, deals, Store the that, document and bank place. Beforeat 40 per cent. car purchase and cool fully, but ? preserved should keep the original charged, not Do printouts. First, you gas stoves? and take es green label photocopi how much? papers safely What are and, if so, have three to your stove is save LPG Secondly, one copy . and they green label gas A made. Give your parents oil companies another to from leading taking a new husband, available you are for yourself. for it when retain one to buy another plan, Ask n or wish label stove’s connectio hospital cash by daily green cent, What is the stove. The is 68 per in a been launched efficiency which has ? thermal cent present of companies a higher to 64 per cash plan, insurance A Bureau have to pay daily hospital premium compared is gas appliance. Does a woman taking a life insurance Under a an insurance for each normal Standards certificate while green can pay premium to a man? Indian get cover to you firms. The of required month and home. For handed out by oil policy compared a warranty is always than every in a nursing with Rs stove carries to one year of A woman premium day spent buy a plan to stay label gas insurance compared green pay a lower applies to all insuring example, if you years, have The per day and get Rs 2,000 three gas stove. more LPG a man. This ordinary 2,000 limit . hospital, you entire stay’s an five per cent companies 10 days in stove saves one. , for the to my sister. = Rs.20,000 than a normal to give a loan Income Tax x 10 s I may have advantage under the If expenses. jewellery allowed? water is bestow? Is cash allowed Are there only cheques credit cards find out whether on women’s Act? Or, are given, how much money How can we of which to milk? get discounts be a cash can There’s You can being added test is to put a drop If fees. loan. extended? locker surface. a cash can be at which The simple can give a jewellerydiscounte d rate to Rs polished slanting Yes, you restricted buying gold. milk on a it would leave amount is This is won’t specialwould be given for milk is impure, But, the if pure, it loans in one year. 269T the trail behind. But, s 20,000 only Sections 269S, deodorant white behind. colour whether to know stated under the Income Tax Act. genuine. leave a white of that I want at a discount are and 269TT , I find costing Rs offered my deodorant paid on loan. But several occasions for Rs 85, Where the bills were take a car t for On me given away is credit card being I intend to buy hi-fi equipmen charged is though deodorant 150 bank to A genuine price. car financier the last day, the can be done? desire is don’t buy. Would the What such a cheap the car also. for the whole amount Rs 100 extra. bill, when paid on the never offered at loan because system? provide a A credit card invite charges new electronic the vehicle, be to may including s may have days is given for not extend last day, queries to: A car loan full transaction pay four .com E-mail your financier would equipmen t the omansera You should online alone. The money@w checked. new make an for m cheque or money Subramania early by all . of Meenakshi answering installation charges IRS officer, from income in payment. penal is a former be opened Thus, be avoided. queries, right time can fixed deposit or must I go in t shopping. your money Should a Rs 100 every to: tax to supermarke child’s name If some your queries Fund scheme? my minor taxed? Mail Provident for a Public transfer allowanceunspent, what 'S ERA, woman. but a Is WOMAN Rani Jhansi Marg, remains I am a working be surprised, money Estate, is not You would more profitable. If you happens? E-3, Jhandewala Delhi-110055. allowance is New the child’s PPF account No, transfer unspent amount a fixed deposit, to your But mention invest in be added in taxed. money wouldyear and taxed. But, in your return. (First) 2009 income every there is no tax. Era ● June option, Woman’s a PPF

Q& A

WOMEN WERE AT THE RECEIVING END OF LIC

A woman is never allowed lower life insurance premium. On the contrary until a few years after nationalisation in 1956, women insured had to pay higher premium than men, called ‘sex extra’. It was thought that the lives of “weaker sex” involved greater risk! It is understood that a daughter of the top executive of the LIC , in its early days, proposed her life for insurance which was accepted with the sex extra. She seems to have successfully argued and convinced her father to see that the sex extra was removed for all women. Now life insurance premium for a woman is at par with man (at least with LIC if not with all other private insurers), but never at a lower rate. – M. Radhakrishnan, Thrissur.

The prize is awarded to:

Tharcius S. Fernando, Chennai. EDITORIA

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and Director, by the CBI act as this, disclosure Ministry shouldnip this In light of tion to by the Home big released also data principles for the administramay prove a at , this problem guiding may be put the the bud. Otherwise in future, when it is rampant. written aboutEvery evil in the for our countrywhere flesh tourism in India. headache uch has countries human trafficking and women par with such problem of of children ones from MENDATIONS year, thousands has now homes. Fortunate APT RECOM Law Commission from their by the police, which to their boys disappear are traced the Centralmarriages of NRI not and restored of these ecently, is among themepitome of passivity, that most ded making So far, it in recommen girls mandatory . become an the grim reality remains back. And no one registered traced with Indian to get such marriages families. But are never required Ashwini d a big missing persons about their fate. Director statutorily bother are considereto marry aspect of by the CBI seems to the country. society, daughters wish rather shocking in New ble s. Parents Recent disclosure In Indian another, marriagea household two-day seminar common well she attains pilgrimage During a Kumar highlights liability in places of as soon as see their daughters problem. holy cases eternal the daughter the to in this that off their s increase disclosed parents want coastal husbands. grooms has Delhi, he tremendou age. All the settled with their NRI states, southern demand of leading the are also witnessing Among all in the wedding Of late, the trafficking. and Karnataka are of human many folds a tag of ‘settled and Tamil Nadu increased trafficking carrying sadly, states of of human What is more, after. But market. Boys tally in terms much sought make thorough woman abuses. about 85 per abroad’ are fail to child- and e boys in to to the Director, prospectiv many parents . are subjected the according n about the many constraints victims the within to investigatio are not cent of abuses abroad due of human types of the parents checks. India and various dably, all words, evils such abuse In other Understan carry out and woman country. ditch their strong to and and childfinancially the grooms dreams trafficking firm roots in our society ultimately this their in all when But they find indulging have taken people are wives midway, s our own themselve our system shattered. girls find foreign heinous crime. is that neither criminal The haplesslot of troubles in a But the irony to identify such the Indian d by are able surrounde most cases, even nor we are Even if some people for help such In unable to country. are acquitted elements. abroad are no legal proof that most of them the data of Home missions nabbed, they have the most, proof, as because person. At the year 2007, be girls In so to want of solid and on to India 2007 shows. be deserted married to so girls back Ministry for people were arrested 3220 could they are send such But only in our total 9861 these missions families. human trafficking. are treated simply acquitted. places are with their duped, charges of such cases and rest were If a reunitedno secret how about such to the and pilgrimage convicted traffickers. babbling It is them even religious for the human nt along with People start girls often driving And now safe havens Governme soon society. and deserted turning into by the Centralthese places will n Singh has ditched suicide. Manmoha report prepared believed, if their activities point of committing nt under Dr refined person. a is to be is traffickers He UNICEF qualified. New Governme reigns. dens for human order to the country’s are also highlycome at an become big taken up in time. places in cabinet members dations have to these up that their are not curbed Most of his people travelcompletely unaware nt must take n’s recommen Innocent What else they are Law Commissio The new Governmesuch laws at once But salvation. time. frame girls condoms find solace. themselve s need opportune priority basis and and used with Indian on salvers are empty liquor bottles be saved Tirupati temple this issue of NRIs’ marriages of managing of girls could to check registration recovery e of trust a number unscrupul ous men, Who is going that law making of . Only then, just to from the guesthous shows? seen Pradesh at mandatory into the clutches brides in India in Andhra out raids It is generally from falling purpose is to ditch shun carrying m We abroad. these activities? whose sole nt agencies could be riots. vested interests to: [email protected] the society, enforceme there write fulfil their the part of places lest seems to religious apathy on ing agencies places. But this general law-enforc tion and at the religious elements administra (First) 2009 anti-social Era ● June embolden Woman’s

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A SOCIETY IS JUDGED ON ITS TREATMENT OF WOMEN

The editorial, An Eternal Problem on human trafficking, together with Apt Recommendations (June I, 2009) about making registration of marriages with NRI mandatory, in reality points towards the ever-lowering standard of living of our countrymen. Be it the human trafficking or exploitation of women in NRI marriages, not merely the notorious elements but we all in the society are responsible. The allurement of settling abroad Woman’s Era ● July (Second) 2009

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