Womens Era Mar09(first)

HEALTH, BEAUTY & SEX SPECIAL

WOMAN’S ERA

PLAYING THE

SUBTLE GAME OF ISOLATION WISELY RECOGNISING

CERVIX CANCER WHY NOT ADD TO YOUR

HUSBAND’S LONGEVITY

MEASURE YOUR

IGNORANCE ABOUT SKIN AILMENT HOW TO MARCH (FIRST) 2009

WALK HEALTHY READ

STEPS RELEVANT ABOUT YOUR LOVE-LIFE MAKING

HOT MOVES LIKE MEN DO!

3 GREAT

SHORT STORIES

MARCH (FIRST) 2009

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Rs 30

MARCH (FIRST) 2009 womansera.com

Vol 36, Issue No. 846

BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

HEALTH, BEAUTY & SEX SPECIAL

CONTENTS Founder: Vishwa Nath (1917-2002)

72 84

BOMBAY FILMDOM

8

ARE YOU KILLING YOUR HUSBAND? Dr S. N. Khosla

22

BODY POWER – WE ARE WHAT WE EAT Aruna Anand

SEXCITING TIPS TO MAKE HIM GO CRAZY Amit Wadhwa

76

32 REMOVING FACIAL WRINKLES Anil Merani

41 DISRUPTED BRAIN CIRCUITS IN DEPRESSED PEOPLE Dr Kiran Bala

26 THE MENACE

75 ICE YOUR FACE Vikas Kumar Jain

82 HEALTH BENEFITS WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE

OF CERVIX CANCER

SMART TIPS TO WORK WONDERS WITH YOUR BREASTS Dr Parveen Parkash

90

Dr S. N. Khosla

Sakina Maniar

PROBLEMS OF PELVIC INFECTION

DISEASES THAT AREN’T SKIN- DEEP

S. N. Khosla

Gayatri T. Rao

ARTICLES 12 WOMEN WILL RULE THE WORLD Suman Bajpai

REJUVENATE YOUR SEX LIFE Aruna Anand

98 THE MAESTRO OF MOUNTAINSCAPES Puja Sharma

COOKERY 48 SWEET RELISH 50 FOOD FOR FESTIVITY

92 ABSOLUTE NARRATIVE THROUGH FACELESS DIMENSIONS

AN ARTIST OF PASSION

95 CATCHING AIR WITH A BRUSH

THE AMALGAMATION OF PEN PAINTBRUSH

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Corn Kish Stuffed Dates Deep Fried Wheat Cakes Fish in Mustard and Coconut Milk Coffee Walnut Pastry Decorated Strawberries Sweet Rajasthani Kachorie Egyptian Pulao Mushroom and Spinach Cake Tri Decker Pastry Corn Kachorie Sabudana Pakora

with

al of The festiv is a colours, Holi ration. time for celebyou We bring h recipes whic ks, include snac and se main cour pamper desserts to during ts your gues on. seas e the festiv Ghosh.

FICTION 36 CORPORATE MOTHERS Amandeep

44 A SLICE OF HOPE Supriya Saraswati

TUG OF WAR

Savita Shetty

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D DEEP FRIE CAKES WHEATS: INGREDIENTlour – atta 2 cups wheatfseeds 1 tsp ajwain

into a milk and pour and coconut off the heat a small pan heat Fish in Mustard g Put dish. In add the Keep stirrin serving ghee and a time. and the water the remaining little at so that green chillies dal: to the For the contin uously atta without forming ajwain seeds, r. Add dal the is thick to splutte serve with the 1 cup thuvar mixes into the batter d allow dal and 2 tbsp ghee powder lumps. Once a rimme d grease a prepared it in it on 1/ tsp haldi cakes. as per spread 2 or jeera ately place ing wheat 1/ tsp ajwain thali. Altern used for prepar pin 2 board taste rolling halves a into rolling your roll out with in thickness. chillies slit rotis and 2 green half inch for 10-12 to at least salt to taste aside cutter this a a in Leave Then with . METHOD tbsp of ghee fry minutes to set. round portions lour and Heat 1 for the wheatf light cut it into small round katorie kadhai. Addlow fire till it turns Heat use a on Add a You can r cakes. the atta colour . fry cut circula brown in e to stir this too to for deep frying and a golden up oil or ghee a few at oil and continu DIENTS: any other fish and use on low fire little more low INGRE rahu or on low fire a little at a these cakes on top on 6-8 pieces r and cook adding in Fry till brown the cakes with 1 tsp haldi powde is all the gheeatta is a nice golden5-6 time. deep frying these wheat preparation d mustard oil for fire. Serve time till the r pan heat dal. The be enjoye In anothe the lukewarm thuvar ki fish but can colour. . a water. Add to taste rather heavy l season fried atta cups of the festiva dal in salt : into during the dal: Soak the the gravy water slowly mustard wheat cakes For the minutes. Drain out For English Deep fried 15 of ghee 2 tbsp green chillies tbsp water for 1 Heat and 2-3 slit all the water. pressure cooker chilli sauce t milk or a . Add 2 2 tsp coconu in a pan for one minuteand salt 3 tbsp thick dal the : fry water cups of the For garnishing nuts and cook and a half pistachio powder . You cherries and and haldi but not mushy want e salt dal till tender water if you METHOD fish and sprinkl more . If you are t of the Clean the can add the ency thinner the amoun aside the consist water then bring to and half r and keep ic powde allow it adding more 53 s. turmer boil and dal to a a further 2 minute for simmer 2009

1 cup ghee for deep frying oil ghee or salt to taste

Corn kish

STUFFED

DATES

low heat and on S: the corn, in the spices a INGREDIENTseedless dates to cook back of whole contin ue with the continue to 12-15 g: mashi ng you at For the stuffin spoon as heat for wooden over low a 1 cup sugar syrup S: adding ghee cook. Cook io nuts INGREDIENT niblets minutes 2 tsp pistach nuts least 8-10 3 cups corn cashew time. paranthans 2 tbsp 1/ cup ghee little at a powder 2 cut the of masala : To serve: Place a portion To serve for decoration 1 tsp garam dana powder s. these triangle annar on warq 1/ tsp into 2 as silver red corn powder and and serve the prepa 1/ tsp jeera r 2 METHOD the cashe ws triangles . chilli powde paranthan 1/ tsp red Break small pieces 2 . nuts into and add the a starter salt to taste pistachio sugar syrup nut pieces. : Stuffed dates Heat the or jeera To serve and cashewkeep stirring r paranthans pistachio 2 Malaba low fire and begins to Cook on paranthans the syrup fruits get so that dry add and the METHOD ml of water and is syrup. Once thicke n the sugar room Boil 350 Once the water coated in is dry cool it to into salt to taste.the corn niblets mixture as a filling it the use corn to place a boiling dropwater and allow temperature s. Carefully the boiling in it for 2-3 minute for the dates. filling in the centre r water. the this to simme portion of ck all the excess from whereWrap d. Drain out of ghee in a non-sti of the dates been remove Heat 2 tbsp Fry the corn niblets seeds have tava. doing so pan or a s and while that for 2 minute g the corn so Mix (First) 2009 coarsely. keep mashin Era ● March crushed Woman’s these get

By Roma

H CORN KIS

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dates the stuffed all the dates each of Prepare starter silver warq.and serve as a of the many in this way as part or serve for Holi. desserts

festivity

R FOOD FO

52

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Sabudana Khichidi Omali Spinach Pie Balushai Mawa Ladoos Yam Fry

FISH IN AND MUSTARD T COCONU MILK

Woman’s

Era

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March (First)

24

FASHION

NEWS IN PICTURES

A DEPICTION OF SENSITIVITY

30 MUSINGS/MEMORIES BABY CLUB CROSSWORD AS YOU SAY

80 NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL! MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME... MONEY MATTERS CLASSIFIEDS

62

FEMININE, URBANE & CLASSY!

46

READERS’ CONTESTS

BEJEWELLED BEAUTY

FEATURES

42

61 BEAUTY QUERIES

74 YOUR BODY

71 CHILD CHALLENGES

101 PERSONAL PROBLEMS

Editor, Publisher & Printer PARESH NATH Printed at Delhi Press Samachar Patra Pte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad, Ghaziabad and Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055 and published on behalf of Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. from E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. E-mail: [email protected] EDITORIAL, ADVERTISEMENT & PUBLICATION OFFICE Delhi Press Building, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110 055. Phone: 41398821, 41398888. Fax: 91-11-23625020 The names of characters used in all fiction and semi-fiction articles are fictitious. COPYRIGHT NOTICE © Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. New Delhi-110 055. India.

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SKIN SO SOFT! How can I remove hair from inside skin without getting any pain? Facial skin is very sensitive. If the degree of pain is the clinching factor in your choice of a hair removal method then bleaching is the most suitable option for lightening facial hair and works best on short, fine and dark hair. I have dark skin and dark hair on my face. I have tried bleaching but it contrasts with my dark skin and gives a very ugly appearance? Read the instructions on the package carefully. Mix in the powder and cream in right proportion and apply on the hair for 10 to 15 minutes only.

Remedies to beat your bleach problems...

I have brown pigmentation marks on my cheeks and nose. Please suggest a quick and easy remedy to solve my problem. You can apply lime to the affected area at night once in a while and wash off in the morning. Bleaching the affected area once a month will lighten it too. Which bleach is the best one without much side effects? Is there a different bleach for arms and neck or the face bleach can be used for the same? Mild cream bleach with natural extract is certainly the best. Jolen is an international brand and contains natural extracts, so no worries of side effects! Yes, you can use the face bleach for arms and neck as well.

When I apply bleach on my face, my eyes would start watering after a couple of minutes and turn red. Also, irritation and rashes develop on my skin? You should have gone for a patch test on a small part of your hand before you apply on your whole body. Wait for 24 hours to see if you have no irritation or rashes. If the same develop, you should stay away from that bleach cream. How often should I bleach my face? You should bleach once a month, otherwise the chemicals in the bleach can roughen our skin over the period of time. Always apply a moisturiser after bleaching and never go out without applying sunscreen.

EDITORIAL WOMEN VICTIMISING WOMEN

N

CHEERS

ews of arrest of a notorious lady named Sonu Punjaban has been hitting the headlines for quite some months now. Media, especially the newspapers, are publishing the developments regarding her case after adding much spice to the real matter. Arrested last November from a posh south Delhi locality, the lady in question originally hails from Punjab and had been charge-sheeted for luring young innocent girls into the much despised trade. According to the police sources, Sonu had illicit connection with a number of men and, surprisingly, whichever men established intimacy with her had fallen to police bullets some months later. How Sonu herself got sucked in crime world is another story. But she has won undisputed title of ‘the Queen of Call girls’ and presently she is under judicial arrest. Since long, law enforcement agencies have been expressing concern on the increasing incidents of human trafficking, especially the cases involving disappearance of young girls and women from comparatively poorer states of India. Recently, the United Nations has released a Global Report on human trafficking. The report is based on the data collected from 155 countries including India. It reveals a startling fact, which is so far unheard of, that now even the womenfolk are running the human trafficking rackets. Their networks have spread to international levels. Being women is a plus point for such woman, as everybody believes a woman easily. What is more stunning is that most of the women indulged in this crime, were once themselves victims of some kind of atrocities. In fact, they are being misused by influential men, who remain in the background and operate the entire ‘business’. It is a well-known fact that sex is the main motive behind human trafficking. Incidents exposed so far reveal that women gangs are active in the country, which lure a large number of young girls and poor women from Bihar, Jharkhand, Orissa, Chhattisgarh and Northeastern states and bring them in the capital for supplying to rich men for satiating their hunger for sex. A detailed statistics reveals a large-scale failure of law-enforcing and justice-delivering machineries so far. Everyday, news of raping and molestation appear in newspapers prominently. But how many of the culprits are booked and convicted by the courts is a subject of concern. In the final analysis, it is the male-dominated society which is responsible for this sorry state of affairs.

6

P

FOR INDIAN

EMPLOYEES

resently, the entire world is reeling under widespread recession and something called financial meltdown in economic jargon. Almost everyday, news of some company winding up its business or laying off jobs in its drive to downsizing is hitting the headlines. Nobody in the market is sure that his/her job will be safe tomorrow. So everybody is happy with what he or she has in hand and, for the time being, wants to retain it at any cost. Amid such disappointing and gloomy scenario, market experts predict that the employees in India would enjoy maximum hike in their salaries – up to 8.2 per cent – in the year 2009. Their prediction is based on the report of a survey conducted by Hewitt, an international consultancy firm on human resources development. Although this incremental percentage is slightly less than the previous year level of 13.3 per cent, yet it will be much higher in comparison to salary hikes at global level including Asia-Pacific region. The survey is based on the responses received from 480 companies active in different sectors and it also reveals that the rate of salary increment may fall during few months to come. But then it will correct itself. Experts maintain that the widespread recession has hit the global economy hard; especially the nations dependent on the US are feeling the brunt more than other countries. But even then, economies like India and China are growing with more than seven per cent rate. Recently, in the interim budget also, caretaker finance minister Pranab Mukherjee has talked about achieving around seven per cent growth rate. Last year, the Central Government had implemented 6th Pay Commission report and increased the salaries of its employees exuberantly. Government’s decision was followed by an unprecedented price rise and rate of inflation broke all previous records. But all the hue and cry of the commoners fell on deaf ears, as the government got busy with manipulating data. During the winter, when prices of vegetables fell, inflation rate also dived to record low, thereby, giving the government an opportunity to pat its own back. Now, when general elections are round the corner, report of maximum salary hike has come like a breather for the public, which may once again put its faith in the government. After all, it is the hope that keeps write to: [email protected] We everything running.

Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

arriage is made in heaven and it is primarily a matter of mutual destiny. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman and it entails in both the partners to look after the welfare of each other. The sanctity of marriage and the home has to be upheld by both life partners. John Gay wrote: If the heart of a man is depressed with care. The mist is dispelled when a woman appears.

M

This aptly summarises the whole philosophy of a man-woman relationship. But if man is the provider of the family, then it is the lady of the house who plays a major part in maintaining the health of the family and the bread winner.

ARE YOU

But what are the statistical observations about the lifeline amongst men and women? According to Dr David Patts, “The male seems to be less fitted to deal with survival under adverse circumstances.” In the USA, women outnumber men at all ages and in an elderly age group, for every 1,000 men there are 1,276 women. The result – widows outnumber widowers 3 to 1. So what is all this about? In a majority of living species, the female (despite all notions) is the stronger sex and outlives the male. Is it that nature has endowed females with some natural resistance or are there some other factors which play an important role? Traditionally, males were indoctrinated to protect females. But this is different presently, now women have to play a different role and act as protectors of the family. Women, in their younger age and prime of life because of their hormonal influences, are more

KILLING YOUR HUSBAND How to help your husband live longer. By Dr S. N. Khosla

resistant to heart disease and this immunity confers on them a definite advantage over the males. Women differ in a number of ways, because of chromosomal differences, lowered body metabo lism and bodily functions (like menstruation, pregnancy, lactation) and these influence to a great extent their whole attitude towards life. As compared to men, women are supposed to have a more living attitude, compassion and sympa thetic outlook while men are always under great pressure to climb up the ladder and most of the time are under stress and so are often fretful and restless. Women can express their emotions while men have to suppress them most of the time since it is not manly to cry. Treat your husband with an attitude of understanding. Do not become complacent. Be attentive to each other’s emotional needs. Be a part of his worries and emotional ups and downs. When you have argu ments, the wife can make her point without hurting the husband’s feelings. Forget the fact that you have to be a winner. All problems and fights can be solved amicably in a family, nobody is the winner. All have to live and love each other, the wife should try to boost her man’s ego. And it does not cost much, does it? All this implies a great responsibility on the young brides, wives and mothers. Small fights, pinpricks in daily life, can lead to nothing but strain on the body, with fatal results. Have you, madam, at any time, asked yourself this question, “Am I killing my man in my life?” Some may laugh it off. No woman in her senses can kill the most precious person in her life – the man (husband, father, son). Let us look at this paradox:

Heart trouble: A majority of men die at the prime of their lives because of heart attacks, the deadliest enemy of life. Most of the heart attacks can be prevented if the wife takes full precautions in this regard.

TREAT YOUR HUSBAND WITH AN ATTITUDE OF UNDERSTANDING. DO NOT BECOME COMPLACENT. BE ATTENTIVE TO EACH OTHER’S EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

Many men overeat and often this habit is being perpetuated by the young bride who naturally is pleased if her cooking is liked. The same holds true at other phases of life since most of the women always make efforts to reach the hearts of their man through their stomachs, hardly realising how much harm they are doing to their life partners. The risk of a heart attack in an overweight individual is twice as much as to a person with normal weight. Obesity and overweight are enemies of a healthy heart. So do not let your man get overweight. Keep a check on his weight by balancing the caloric intake and energy expenditure. It is for the wives to see that the family is provided with the right food – i.e., well-balanced nutritious food containing less fats and less rich foods which should preferably be avoided. Plan a diet which consists of proteins, fresh vegetables, fruits with drastic cut in fats.

Preservation instinct: Women have a natural urge for preservation. They want to look smart, trim and attractive. As a result, they eat somewhat less or avoid rich foods. Moreover, women lead an active physical life. On the other hand, men take less care of their food habits and are lazy by nature. It is the duty of the wife to ensure that the man takes regular exercise. It need not be a strenuous one but if the timings of the family can be adjusted, the man must be prevailed upon to take exercises or walks daily in the morning, since physical activity has got a great role to improve cardiac efficiency. Similarly, never burden him with any strenuous job, howsoever important when he returns from his job in the evening, since it could precipitate a heart attack. Avoid undue demands: Many women have the pernicious habit of making undue demands on their husbands. The result? Tension on the mind of the husband and emotional conflicts. In fact, constant conflicts and unhappy home situations are major causes of shortening the lives of the husbands. Stress is part of every job. Men who are happy with their work and in their homes, always live longer than those who are unhappy in these situations. The best contribution towards the longevity of her husband a woman can make is to create a congenial atmosphere in the house, not to nag and see that there is a relaxed atmosphere. The day in any couple’s life should start with pleasant thoughts and actions. It has been rightly said, “ Do not start your day with a bang and end with a whimper.” Shun addiction: Do not let your husband become an addict to smoking or alcohol. More deaths are now being caused by heavy smoking than by any other addiction. A way of persuasion should be adopted. The same applies to alcohol. An occasional drink taken as social drinking may become a habit, so avoid it. Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

Stop nagging: Do not nag your husband. Even if the husband is late and has not been able to maintain an important social commitment, do not flare up without really ascertaining the reasons. One must understand that many men are carrying some inner conflicts that are suppressing them to reach their goals. Encourage your man to unload himself. Be understanding and sympathetic. Restrain your impulses: Do not be impulsive. Many young women become angry and impulsive on trifles and this spoils the peaceful atmosphere of home, putting extra strain on the family. Make your home congenial: Develop a way of life by which the atmosphere at home is congenial. The house should not have an atmosphere charged with electrifying tension. Tension either at work or home is a big killer. You may not be able to relieve tension at the place of work but a wife must at least contribute her mite by removing minor irritations in one’s daily life. In fact, in the West a majority of industrial empires are now insisting that a high executive should have a sympathetic wife as a prerequisite for employment since they rightly believe that a congenial atmosphere at home and an ever-helpful wife are the backbones of being a successful executive. Make mutual adjustments: Married life means a period of mutual adjustment to give and take. It is essential that the wife must encourage the husband to lead a healthy and sane sex life since it is nature’s tranquilliser in reducing stress and creating a general feeling of relaxation and well-being. One sexologist has rightly summarised that “in day-to-day living, the man who is diminished by a world that forces him to compromise or accept defeat, finds total acceptance in the arms of the woman who loves We him. 9

The world is changing at a fast pace and at faster pace is changing the status of women. So much so that very soon women will rule the world, taking along the men with them. By Suman Bajpai

WOMEN WILL RULE THE WORLD enuka Chowdhury, Union Minister of State (Independent Charge), Women & Child Development, belongs to Indian National Congress Party and is one of the most renowned politicians in India today. A postgraduate in industrial psychology, she took up politics and social work as her profession and began her active political career in 1980s. She has been the Rajya Sabha member twice. She was elected to 13th Lok Sabha in 1999 and held a number of significant positions like: Member, Rajya Sabha (two terms) Chief Whip, Telugu Desam Parliamentary Party, Rajya Sabha (1986-98); Union Minister of State, Health and Family Welfare (1997-98); Member, Committee on Finance (1999-2000) and Member, Committee on the Empowerment of Women (2000-2001). Apart from being politically active

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and duly acclaimed as “firebrand” for her candid nature, she is a versatile conversationalist, and has a number of literary, artistic and scientific accomplishments to her credit. She has enthusiastically associated herself with various social and cultural organisations and has been contributing zealously to the field of women and child development and welfare. Renuka Chowdhury has special interests in art collection. Reading, gardening and music are her favourite pastimes. She has visited a number of countries like Canada, China, Denmark, France, Germany, Switzerland, UAE, UK, USA and former USSR. She loves reading Woman’s Era. She feels it is a best gift to give. When she first entered Parliament as a young Rajya Sabha MP, she was hailed as the real-life Rajni, after a popular TV character who took up cudgels for the underdog. With

characteristic candour, the feisty minister demystifies the latest issues in an exclusive interview.

What are the steps that are necessary for the development of children? As, first step historically we have set up is National Commission for the Protection of child Rights. It is on the level of National Commission for Women and National Commission for SC/ST rights. This is to promote that child is an individual and they are entitled to rights. We have amended the laws on Juvenile Justice Act, we have streamlined adoption, so that it is easier for all communities, including single mothers or single women who are not married but want to adopt the child. We have brought about legislations such as Prohibition which has replaced the earlier Act for the prevention of child marriages. In short, we have created a wonderful safety net to protect the child and also to help integrate the child into mainstream life. You give stress on the importance of gender gap, what are you doing to bridge that gap? I would say that gender gap and gender divide is historical, defined by historic reasons and legislation which were prejudiced, so we have a gender divide which put woman in a stereotypical role-play. What I am

trying to achieve now is to gender mainstream. I believe it is not about replacing each other, but it is about working with each other. That is how perspective has to change. So we are bridging it, we are putting bridges across not just to talk about the gender divide anymore, that is little passé. But that we gender mainstream, we gender integrate. That is the new keyword.

What steps have you taken in this regard? Gender budgeting is our programme in this regard which has been a quantum leap in gender perceptions. We have 56 Ministries contributing to gender budgeting in the government of India and more will be conducting gender budgeting. As well as we are pressurising State governments to come forward for gender budgeting and with this is one stroke cuts across on all economic disparity. It also changes the orientation of men towards women. Does mental status of the men need to be changed? Actually, this is a real problem. Women have gone ahead, but it takes the men a longer time to accept that, they do subconsciously, but they are handicapped as to how to translate that into the male behaviour without it threatening their own sexuality or their own individuality.

Will the law on domestic violence eradicate domestic violence? It will. Men who grow up believing that it is part of their role play to slap a woman around, laws have empowered them to say that I can kick you out in the midnight, I have economic identity and hence you are helpless, you are a liability and I am an asset. The kind of structure which is structured by society has to be deconstructed now. So we deconstruct and help men change. Laws may not give you instant overnight reactions, but it is also preparing the next generation. The youngsters are growing under this visual impact that I can’t slap women. We are setting up parameters, frameworks, to change the male orientation towards women. Laws are not made for now or yesterday, they are also made for tomorrow. What steps are you taking on child protection, especially after Nithari incident? It is horrible that it took Nithari, it took Arushi, and it took the Mangalore pub incident for us to wake up to say that children need to be protected. Other than beyond parental control, that as a society, as a civilisation, we should recognise

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that we have concrete frameworks, so amendments of the Juvenile Justice Act and establishment of the ICPS (integrated child protection scheme). We are taking huge steps towards more democratic structures of protecting children. We have set up helpline for child, working on an online consultation service. It has a major impact. I believe that it is going to create ripple impact. We throw the stone into the murky water and it should now carry a momentum.

and to prevent. If they don’t want to call it sex education then they can call it something else.

You are in favour of sex education, how are you pursuing it? We have to deal with the word sex from having sexual intercourse to approach it in its academic interest of what sex education is. Maybe the term sex education is not the right term because people are so conditioned to think of term sex as an act where it is not, it is basically a definition of the biological awareness of what happens in a reproductive stage. Today in an era of IT and an Internet when there is so much information upload, where there is so much unprotective pornographic exposures to children, a lot of them don’t know how to handle it. Sex education is an empowerment tool that empowers the children to protect themselves, to be accountable and take responsibility

How can we empower women, especially through micro-finance and self-help groups? Micro-finance is the greatest instrument of the silent revolution that is taking place across the country. It is not just about giving credit to a woman, but it is to empower her, to get economic identity, which was not there in our early markets. Microfinance restores her ability to have credit identity and to raise money in the market and she is restoring her self-confidence also. All of this goes towards enhancing her self-image, hence her selfesteem and then encourages her participation in decision-making. She gets power to say that I will not go for sex determination; I want to access immunisation for my existing children. I want to work for family planning after my second child. My children will go to school and not for labour. It is awareness about malnutrition and micro-nutrition. If anyone asks me what is single success story I will say it is microfinance. It raises her status and life in family and the society. We have formed the SHGs that outstripped men in terms of good credit in terms of economy markets because we return the credit we get. These groups save and invest and help each other and make sure that the

18

What you have to say about female foeticides and dowry cases? These are the biggest challenges before us because dowry cases and female foeticides don’t take place only among illiterates; in fact it is much less comparative to literates. To stop this we have to look into the root cause of this.

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March (First) 2009

money is returned tremendous.

which

is

What do you have to say regarding the present scenario, culture or society? I would say it has a tornado effect. It is very wrong to say that nothing is working that women are still dying, still have dowry deaths. Yes on the one hand we have that, but on the other we have a whole society that is in the transition, transition where a daughter will go to school, she does not have to marry before she is 18. My child will not go to labour and it is okay to have two daughters and men are not leaving women because they give birth to daughters. Because the men have realised that genetically they are responsible for the birth of a daughter. We have women achievers like Kiran Majumdar Shah, Indira Nooyi, etc., women who have broken the glass ceilings and in spite of that two extremes are going on. There are wonderful women at grass-roots level, winning Panchayti Raaj. The men, who subjugated them, today bring the wife forward, without realising that they have crossed the lakshman rekha. Such a pity that media’s attention or any attention does not go into these achievements. 60 lakhs women across the country every 5 years are sitting up and say that I can also be the part of the show and I am the boss. We have lot of criticism but I see men as facilitators. We are not trying to define men; we are trying about defying ourselves that men must learn to accept our new definition. We are accepting ourselves. You can’t hold back change. Change is inexorable. We are 5000 years evolved society and every generation has always witnessed change. Our culture is not so fragile that we change completely. There are hundreds and thousands women like us who balance both worlds. We are the cradle of civilisation. That is why we are Shakti , that is why we are strength of this nation. It is certain that women will rule the world with We taking men along with them.

requirement to the body per day. ● Turkey: Turkey has no fat and is easily digestible.

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Eggs: ● The Nutrients: Both portions of egg contain different elements. Egg yolk has fat protein, Vitamins A, B, D, E and K, iron. While egg-white contains protein and some minerals. ● What are they good for: Maintain overall a healthy body. ● How much: 3 eggs per week.

Mutton: ● The nutrients: Mutton contains proteins vitamins and iron. ● How much: Not more than three times a week.

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Citrus Fruits: ● What are they good for: Vitamin C safeguards body from infection and helps in repairing skin if there is any cut or a bruise and wounds. ● The nutrients: Citrus fruits like lemon, orange, sweet lemon, etc.

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Fish and Poultry: ● What are they good for: For non-vegetarians fish and poultry help you to maintain good health. ● The nutrients: Minerals, proteins and B vitamin and some oily fish have vitamin D and vitamin B. ● How much: 4 times a week is ideal, while fish serving can be 175 gr. cooked oily fish serving, cooked 125 gr. Chicken and turkey can be 175 gr. cooked. ● The fitness factor: While fish does not have any fat, so it should not be added while cooking but after the masala is ready just at the final stage. ● Oily fish such as mackerel, salmon, tuna, sardines, etc. contain polyunsaturated fatty acids which lower the bad cholesterol. ● Chicken: Has less fat, so it can be digested easily and its liver is good for blood and vitality. Chicken – liver can provide 40 per cent of iron

servings a day are required. It can be 125 grams of cooked rice or forty grams of brown bread.

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Contain plenty of Vitamin C which is an essential component for having healthy body. ● How much: Daily one citrus fruits or 150 ml. juice.

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Other Fruits: ● How much: At least one fruit everyday approximately 1 kilo. per week. ● The nutrients: All fruits contain fibre minerals and some have vitamin C. Apples, bananas, melons, strawberry and other berries have plenty of vitamins and soluble fibre.

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Chapatties, Breads and Cereals: ● The nutritional value: Wholegrain flour made into chapatties or breads provide carbohydrates, protein, fibre, calcium, iron and vitamin B. ● What is the benefit: Create good health. ● How much: Three to four Woman’s Era

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Oils and Fats: ● The Nutrition value: Oils and fats provide vitamin A to save body from various infections and keep our eyes healthy. Vitamin D helps in keeping the bones strong, it works with calcium and phosphorus and vitamin E, protects cells of the body. ● How much: Body needs only thirty grams of polyunsaturated butter and 125 grams of polyunsaturated oils per week. ● Don’t forget: Coconut, palm and groundnut oils are rich in saturated fats. Soya, Corn, Safflower and sunflower oils contain polyunsaturated fats. Treat Vegetables as Fast Food Put freshly cut vegetables in a pan, pour hot-boiled water on top, cover and cook for minimum time. Eat them fresh with little salt and pepper and dash of lemon juice.

Read labels and ingredients and date of packing and expiry: While buying ready-to-eat food items. This habit will raise your awareness of the food you are eating. Right Eating style: 1. Eat when you are really hungry. 2. Stop eating when you are less than full. 3. Eat slow because brain takes about 10 minutes to realise that body We is being fed. 29

Lifestyle – Sweden – Arctic Marriage

Global beauty pageant

A couple poses for pictures in an ice hotel in Jukkasjaervi, shivering more from excitement than cold, bride clad in white silk and fur all melts into the snowy background as she and her groom become one of around 150 couples to tie the knot at Sweden’s Ice Church this year.

Changing style

US Nikkitasha Marwaha (C) is crowned Queen during the 18th Miss India Worldwide 2009 Beauty Pageant in Durban. 25 girls from all over the world participated in the annual event. She was crowned by 2008 winner Shagun Sarabhai from India. Models display outfits in the Barbie Runway Show during the 2009 Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York on 14 February.

A labourer in Amritsar on Valentine’s Day attaches balloons to form the symbol of heart on a billboard, though Shiv Sena, strongly opposed Valentine Day celebrations. A Mexical couple (inset) seen kissing. In Tokyo a set of true gold “hina” dolls for the girl’s Festival Day is on display. The 10 cm tall dolls represent ancient Japanese monarchs. They will go on sale for $1,10,000. The next displays Cyber-shot mobile phone, produced by Sony Ericsson, the other too is Hitachi’s “Wooo mobile phone”, showing 3D images with all the latest additions. The last photograph shows toy giant Tomy’s robot toy called “Transformers Disney Label”. It changes shape from a trailer truck to Mickey Mouse – shaped robot.

Marvels of the age

Love despite protests

A helpful look at the biggest killer after breast cancer. By Dr S. N. Khosla

THE MENACE OF

ut of all the cancers in females, cervix cancer has assumed menacing proportions and it is said to be the commonest form of cancer of the genitalia in females. More and more new cases of the disease are being seen now. An WHO estimate puts about 75,000 deaths in women annually from the disease. Worldwide, cervix cancer is the second most common form of cancer in women next to cancer of the breast. What is cervix cancer? It is a malady which arises from the lining over the lip of the neck (cervix) of the womb (uterus) and may remain confined to that part most of the time. The changes that the diseases causes may not be noticed for a long time, the sufferer being not aware of it. And this is the most dangerous part as the disease lies dormant for a long time and by the time the disease is noticed it may be too late. When the disease causes

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changes in the cervix, these are noticed even on naked eye examination. It may be the invasive or pre-invasive type. The pre-invasive type does not show its presence. Sometimes, there may be erosion in the cervix which might have been ignored. In the invasive type, the spread may be by continuity. The disease spreads to the vagina, urinary bladder and the rectum. Lymphatic spread to distant lymph nodes in the body is also more than possible. It may invade the muscular wall of the cervix, ultimately eroding it, and form an ulcerating lesion or a proliferating tumour that grows out of the cervix. There are mainly two types of cancers of the cervix – squamous carcinoma and adeno carcinoma. The sufferer who is generally between the ages of 40 and 55 presents with intermenstrual bleeding which is a very common feature and may follow sexual intercourse or after heavy exertion. In some women of this age group, the menstrual period may be prolonged while there may be bleeding in the post-menopause period or spotting between periods. There may be unusual vaginal discharge for several months, often ignored as simple leucorrhoea till this discharge becomes blood stained and draws attention.

THE PAIN Pain is not often complained of. It is in the form of low back pain radiating to the front or to the groin. In some women there are features of increased frequency of micturition or difficulty in the passage of urine. Surprisingly, most of the symptoms may be unrelated to the female genitalia and that is how the detection of the disease is delayed. It is estimated that eight women die every hour of cervix cancer in India which is a very alarming figure. What are the factors which account for this malady? Certain regions of the world and races present different pictures of the disease. South-east Asian and South African countries 28

along with India present a dismal picture of the disease. As per WHO records about 5.1 lakh cases of cervix cancer are reported each year and out of these about 80 per cent are from developing countries. The socioeconomic status, poverty, poor hygiene, and lack of education account for the major factors responsible for the disease. The factor of early sexual relationships in

young girls in poorer sections of society cannot be ignored. But in the present-day society this holds true for other girls belonging to the middle and upper strata of society as well. The factors of early marriage and the indulgence in sex at a younger age and in extramarital affairs also has an important role to play in the causation of the disease. Promiscuity and sex with too many partners is equally dangerous. Single or unmarried women are less likely to suffer from it. It is probably due to less trauma to the cervix and fewer chances of infection which act as protective factors. Elimination of cervix infections at the earliest will act as a safeguard in protecting the cervix.Hormonal influences also have a role to play. While oral pills have been incriminated as a factor which predisposes to the development of cervix cancer, the barrier method of Woman’s Era

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contraception like the use of condoms may afford protection against the development of cervix cancer since there is less trauma to the cervix. There are certain communities in the world where marriages are held late and sex before marriage is strictly taboo. Such women are comparatively safe and the incidence of cervix cancer in them is very low. Black women in the USA have twice the incidence of the disease as compared to white women. Similarly, Jewish women are infrequently affected since communities in which there is a practice of circumcision, the incidence of the disease is low. It is not, however, proved that the human smegma acts as a carcinogenic or not, but women of such men have comparative immunity from the diseases. The role of viruses in the causation of cervix cancer is equally

important. Earlier, the genital herpes virus (HSV-II) was considered to be the culprit but now it has been proved that the human papilloma virus types 16 and 18 cause more than 70 per cent of cervix cancers. The saving grace is that this is one carcinoma where early detection, diagnosis and treatment carries good prognosis. Every woman after reaching the age of 50, should have a complete gynaecological examination. Any

Clothes merchant In the eighties there was dearth of maids at Mettur Dam. So we had been forced to shake our heads for everything that our maid Akkamma asked for, so that she may not move to other homes. Once, she asked my wife, “Madam, many of your used saris are lying idle in your almirahs. Why don’t you give those faded ones to me?” Pitying her, my wife gave all her faded saris to Akkamma for her use. Akkamma requested for my used pants and shirts too for use by her husband. Retaining a few new ones my wife gave all mine to her. Three days later, when my wife and I went to the temple, we saw a man in my clothes. His wife too wore my wife’s sari. Shocked, we asked 30

unusual bleeding or discharge must be looked into. A PAP test is most important. It is a standard way of detecting cervix cancer where lab analysis of cells scraped from the cervix is carried out. The American Cancer Society recommends that all women who are or who have been sexually active or who have a major risk factor for cervix cancer need a PAP text once a year. But if the woman is at low risk and the last three annual PAP tests are normal, then the tests may be done less frequently. PAP test is an important screening test, is simple to perform and a useful aid in detecting the disease. When in doubt, the cervix is examined by the instrument called a colposcope and a biopsy is taken to confirm the diagnosis. Once the disease is confirmed, treatment is either by radiation or surgery depending on the stage at which the disease presents. Can we prevent cervix cancer? There are certain broad guidelines which can be helpful.

● Lead an active healthy life. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and green vegetables. Avoid excess fats in your diet. ● A healthy sex life should be led. Do not indulge in extramarital affairs. If unmarried, avoid multiple partners or too many sexual partners as these are not good for cervix health. Do not lead a promiscuous life. ● Any infection of the genitalia must be treated at the earliest. ● Keep meticulous hygiene of your private parts. ● A vaccine Gardasil, known to be effective in protecting against cervix cancer, has been approved by the US FDA. It is a recombinant vaccine that is given as three injections over a six-month period and is said to be very effective. It is on a trial stage in India. ● Have regular medical checkups. Any unusual vaginal bleed/discharge must be reported to your doctor at the earliest. An early diagnosis shall be the passport to We your future health.

them where they got them. The man said that they had bought them from Akkamma of their lane. He also added that there were many dresses for sale and the poor people like them were pouring into her hut. My wife looked at my face and I looked at hers. Remembering the good lesson taught by Akkamma, nowadays we give used clothes to needy people only. – S. Palanisamy, Madurai

gave Rs 100 thinking that the balance money would come back. Akkamma went to the market and came back with two bags full of vegetables. She kept one bag near the door and gave the other to my wife. My wife set her eyes on the bag at the door. Akkamma smiled and said, “It is for me, madam. Your vegetable cost Rs 50 and mine Rs 50. The whole money you gave has been spent.” My wife’s face reddened. She said sharply, “Akkamma, if you want vegetables for your home you would have bought it with your own money but not with mine.” Akkamma coolly said, “Yes, madam, I bought them with my money only. The coolie charges for my today’s market work is Rs 50, madam.” My wife and myself were stunned. From that day onwards whenever we see vegetables we remember Akkamma. – S. Palanisamy, Madurai.

Coolie for extra work In the eighties there was a heavy shortage of maids at Mettur Dam. So, in order to keep their maids at their homes all feared to give extra work to their maids. But unfortunately my wife gave an additional job to our maid Akkamma. One day my wife felt a severe leg pain. So she asked Akkamma to go to the market and get some vegetables. She gave her Rs 50. But Akkamma said it was not enough and demanded Rs 100. Without argument my wife Woman’s Era

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Every ageing woman wants to look younger. Here’s how to go about it... By Anil Merani

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REMOVING

Facial wrinkles ost women over the age of 30 are worried about the growing wrinkles and frown marks on their faces. This is a normal ageing process, as years pass by the skin's natural elasticity starts to go away. This results in the facial muscles getting loose. Earlier, the only solution was

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injecting chemical fillers like Botox and Restylane. But many people have questioned the safety of artificial injections. Also, you have to keep taking fresh doses since the effects start to wear away once the chemical gets absorbed in the bloodstream. Another common problem with chemical fillers is that the skin starts to look plastic after repeated intakes.

But now a new international surgical skin rejuvenation technique called autologous fat transfer is beginning to become the rage here. According to Dr Purnima Mhatre, this minimalist invasive technique takes 10-12 years of your face in a matter of hours. Skin rejuvenation takes place at 2 levels, one at the skin level and the second at the deep-tissue level, which is below the skin. Medical cosmetologists deal with the latter where the real rejuvenation takes place. Until and unless blood vessels get dilated or the tissues move, our skin can’t get healthy. One common example of one skin rejuvenation would be how to fill acne depressions. We push the depressed skin upwards and fresh skin is born. Here, there are also 2 branches – i.e – skin treatment and skin wellness. The former deals with treating problems like acne, etc, while the latter is concerned with keeping good skin healthy for a longer time. Autologous fat transfer and Botox are components of the latter.

Autolougous fat transfer transformation at lunch break. It’s a simple procedure which

Millions of Aspirated Adipose Tissue Fragments

Adull Stem Cells Blood Vessel Producing Cells ● Growth Factor Secreting Cells ● ●

Skin-tightening and skin- polishing However, if you have minor wrinkle problems and are in the 2530 age bracket you don't need Botox autologous fat transfer. You can go for non-invasive treatments such as skin-tightening and skin-polishing. These are done using the latest laser machines. Similarly, if you have postpregnancy marks modern technology

Before

After

entails extracting fat in a microsyringe from your inner thigh and injecting it into your face after treating it . As you are putting in your own body fat, there are no chances of any reactions or side effects, which Botox can entail. Secondly, the fat does not move and get absorbed in the body, hence its effects last much longer.

can get rid of those marks as well. Removal of pigmentation is also a pretty common procedure these days.

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Defined Population of Regenerative Cells

Surgical facelift You can even opt for surgical methods – i.e., a facelift – to make your skin tight. It's a pretty simple Woman’s Era

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procedure. A thread is entered below your skin which pulls up muscles. This makes the face skin tight and taut. Since these modern surgical methods don't leave scars and have minimum recovery periods it's a good option as well.

Tip to make your skin look young and healthy. Always use skin block. Get a facial done every other month as that will help to remove dead cells. Take lots of fluid – lack of which causes wrinkes to appear. Consume certain vitamins the skin needs. Do certain facial expression exercises But always remember to go to a proper cosmetologist for such beauty practice (facials). Normal parlour hands are not trained – for example they use gylogical acid at safe concentration limits as they are not sure how much to use for different skin types, but that will not do your skin good. On the other hand, if you go to a trained doctor he or she will only use those products (herbal and natural) which really suit your individual skin We type.

SHORT

STORY

Corporate Mothers A high-salaried pro’s chat with a self-made housewife is an eye-opener. By Amandeep

I

as educated as Satish and earning equally well. feel really scared at the thought of quitting my Then why should I be the one chosen for this job? highly paid corporate job. To quit the job Why can’t we share this too, just like we share our would mean staying at home, minding the household expenses? It’s so unfair. house and looking after my son. I don’t My employers are already throwing hints about particularly like that format. Also, notice that my rapidly depleting earned leave. I am the only my offspring is in singular. It’s because I find one at work who does not have a mother or a managing one possible and two, unthinkable. mother-in-law staying with me. Really, life is so much Rohan, my son, goes to a school-cum-day care easier for a working mother with some support centre in the vicinity. He leaves at 8 with my system. But I am determined to make the best of my husband and I pick him up on my way back from situation and so what if all my leave gets spent work about 7. Now, I say about seven because the taking care of Rohan. I will apply for unpaid leave, day care timings are until 7.30, but invariably I am next. The only problem is that it reflects late, and keep getting calls from the badly on me, as if I am not serious about supervisor there. In fact, I can visualise her This only my work. right now, arms akimbo, brows raised, strengthens my I did take Rohan to the specialist to find herding my son out of the door, argument that out the cause of his frequent bad spells. It exasperation written all over her face. children are seems that children who go to childcares I do believe that day care is a much better arrangement than leaving a child much better off centres often suffer from multiple infections. Now that is the only downside of a alone with a maid, at home. Just last at day care childcare centre, as far as I can think. week, our neighbour’s maid absconded centres as My mother is horrified by the way I am and no one showed up to pick up their 5regards their bringing up Rohan. According to her, she year-old at the bus stop in the afternoon. safety, as I should never have sent me to ‘that MBA The child went over to a friend’s house have repeatedly course’ as I seem to have changed and spent the remainder of the day there. pointed out to completely after that. She never thought I Late in the evening when his friend’s my husband, would ever send Rohan to a childcare mother requested him to leave, did it come Satish. centre and continue working. to light that the maid was missing and the house, locked. After that, there were ren’t all mothers just the same? What about my frantic phone calls to his parents, the police, etc. happiness? No one seems to care about that. Our neighbours have been quick to put this Why should I sacrifice my life and become a incident behind them and they have brought in a housewife just like her? I have seen the look in new maid. Life goes on just as usual for them, I women’s eyes when they discover that I hold a highsuppose. profile job. Of course, my mother just doesn’t get it. This only strengthens my argument that children The thrill of getting ready in the morning, the clothes are much better off at day care centres as regards and once at office — the work, the meetings, closing their safety, as I have repeatedly pointed out to my deals worth billions of dollars — it makes me feel so husband, Satish. important and useful. I hate the days when Rohan falls ill. It’s as if his One winter morning, as I was returning from a well-being is entirely my responsibility. After all, I am

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morning walk, I met Sandhya. I have often seen her at the yoga class conducted early in the morning on our housing society lawns. I met her in the elevator and got talking. Somehow, she didn’t appear impressed by my highflying corporate career. Nor did she look ashamed when she said, “I stay at home,” unlike so many other women that I had encountered. Something prompted me to ask, “Don’t you feel bored at home? I feel very worthless whenever I have needed to stay at home. I just don’t know what to do, how to pass time. Household chores are so meaningless and have no value addition. I feel totally wasted.” The elevator stopped. This conversation needed time. “Why don’t you come over to my place and we’ll continue over tea?” Sandhya invited. Somehow, I was completely drawn to her. “Sure,” I replied.

I

couldn’t help marvelling at the serene interiors of her house. Creamy whites and neutrals accented with lush green plants instantly soothed my mind. With my feet curled under my thighs, I settled down on the sofa. Sandhya smiled at me. “Let’s talk first and then I’ll make the tea. If that’s okay with you.” “Yes, of course.” I really needed to hear Sandhya’s perspective on life, work, etc. “You know, you are the only person I’ve met so far who is peaceful about staying at home. Generally, the others look to be a pretty unhappy lot.” “You’re right,” Sandhya wore a serious look on her face. “I too have been in the same place as them. Now I am comfortable being anywhere, doing anything. I have really stopped planning my days, my life. I take each day, at a time. I don’t know where I will be 5 years from now but I am comfortable with that knowledge. Does this sound really vague to you?” “Not at all. I think the older generation like our mothers and grandmothers lived like that too,” I said. “I quit work when I heard that I was pregnant. We were in Mumbai and it was a new experience to be at home, alone, until my husband returned in the evening. It was very hard. I didn’t have any friends too, but in a few months I managed to find my rhythm. I mostly spent time reading and walking,” Sandhya had a faraway look in her eyes.

“So, did you get back to work after the baby?” I was trying to draw up similarities between our lives. “I tried,” Sandhya sighed. “But since I wanted to work from home, no one was willing to bend the rules for me. You see, I didn’t want to leave my little one alone with a maid. So I became another frustrated housewife, like the ones you keep meeting from time to time.” “Then how come this change?” I was terribly curious. “You don’t look like a trapped housewife any more.” “Well, it’s taken me a decade to get here and I must say this is the most peaceful phase of my life. The transition was not easy. At first I was upset with my parents and husband for pressurising me to have a baby. Even today I wish that the decision had been mine, not theirs. I was just not ready to be a mother and handle all the responsibilities that come along with it. In fact, that is one of the things I needed to learn — to take my own decisions and not put others in charge of my life.” Herding my son out of the door, exasperation written all over her face. I do believe that day care is a much better arrangement than leaving a child alone with a maid, at home.

I just need to find something that interests me and “And you have been home ever since?” I asked. allows me to channelise my energy.” “Oh no. I tried all sorts of things. Teaching, “But don’t you feel cheated? After having studied holding tuition classes at home and what not. But none of these was as appealing as the job that I had so hard and worked for so many years. I don’t think I can ever do what you did. There’s no way I am quit — that of a financial analyst. Somehow, that going to sacrifice my life, pull my child out of the overshadowed everything else. Finally, I gave up all day care centre and sit at home. No way!” I said efforts to ‘work’. Needless to say, I had spent emphatically. considerable time and energy pursuing all these “Wait. Who said anything about sacrifice. I have various options and I was quite tired.” not sacrificed anything. To give personal attention to “And then...?” Sandhya’s story held me my child and house is also my need, just spellbound. like the need to use my potential, my “I could no longer run away from the “I quit work talent. I am going to address both of them. thought of being a housewife, I was one. when I heard So what if I have had to quit the job I Believe it or not, that is when I began to that I was loved. It involved a lot of travel, something transform.” pregnant. We that I can no longer do. So, I am going to “How? I mean how did you change? were in find something else equally good that I can Did you decide to sacrifice your dreams Mumbai and it do out of my home.” and just accept whatever came your way? was a new “You certainly seem to have worked Became passive?” I was using strong experience to be things out according to your words. at home, alone, requirements,” I complimented Sandhya. “First of all, I decided to relax. You “I have learnt a lot from your experience.” know what that means. It means to stop until my “Oh! I totally forgot about the tea,” chasing. It means just living for the husband moment. As if nothing in the past or future returned in the Sandhya stood up. “Let’s do that another time.” I had to get matters. It means taking responsibility for evening. ready for office. your happiness. You know, I changed I remember that, as I rode the elevator because I was affected by inner turmoil. to our penthouse, I felt somewhat disturbed. With calmness came a realisation that the need to Sandhya had stirred up some best-buried-not-to-beutilise my capabilities, my potential, remained examined feelings that surfaced within me from time unfulfilled. That was causing me distress. Once I to time. understood that, my problem was half-solved. Now, “You know,, you are the only person I’ve met so for who is peaceful about staying at home. Generally, the others look to be a pretty unhappy lot.”

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ike at the school picnic when only my kid took packaged food bought from the supersmart. Or in the evenings when I pick him up and he is the last one out. Or even during weekends, with no friends to play with, Rohan, sitting in his room, all by himself, chattering away with his imaginary friends. Yes, since that day with Sandhya, my life has changed. I am looking at Rohan with different eyes now and I am concerned. He cries every morning to go to school and, for the first time ever, his cries are reaching my heart. The packaged juice and a jam sandwich in his lunch-box are making me wonder. Is this even good for his health? I know that my moment of truth has arrived. I have begun to ask myself some difficult questions about how well I am taking care of Rohan. I don’t know what my decision will be, but it will be a unique solution to my unique needs. Sandhya, the housewife, has shown me the way. We

DISRUPTED BRAIN

CIRCUITS IN DEPRESSED PEOPLES Dr Kiran Bala

eople with severe depression respond to negative stimuli differently. Studying the response of depressed people to negative stimuli, researchers found that they have disrupted circuits involved in controlling emotions. People with clinical depression may be unable to “snap out of it” because of faulty wiring in the brain according to a new study released by Johnstone a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin – Madison’s school of medicine and public health.

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One of the hallmarks of depression is that people with the condition seem to be unable to pull themselves out of a funk or black mood. In order to figure out what goes awry in these situations, Johnstone and his colleagues conducted an experiment on a group of 21 depressed people and 18 healthy controls. Researchers tried to manipulate them into a negative state of mind and then watched how well they could bounce back. A series of images of things such as caraccidents or threatening-looking animals was presented to the subjects and their response noted. In

depressed individuals conscious effort to recalibrate their emotions was thwarted by dysfunctional brain circuits. The researchers speculated that signals from the prefrontal cortical area of the brain are not getting through to the amygdala in the depressed individuals for reasons still unknown. The findings suggest that cognitive behavioural therapies that hold that individuals can change the way they feel about a situation by changing the way they think about it may be counterproductive for some We people.

Winsome wonder

Unique ancient hairdos for a classy ‘you’ inspired by the days of yore with influences of retro style.

Coiffure with a class

Whimsical waves

Touch of tradition

Gothic glam

Twist with tresses Reviving eras of elegance, incorporate the vintage look of ancient times! Created with hot iron, the waves are arranged around the head and brushed to back or top of the head in varied styles. Look modern and whimsical with your most prized possession...

Crowning glory

Lustrous locks

A Slice of Hope Five months after Keya’s birth, her mother discovers the miracle of motherhood. By Supriya Saraswati What is life, one wonders Power? Glamour? Wealth? Nope ! Life is just a slice of hope. The sun, the breeze, the rain, the thunders Create together that driving force Life springs up from this single source.

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he universality of our dreams and emotions leads me into believing that perhaps my story isn't very different from yours and that the same dream, the same emotion must have touched you at some phase of your life; that you too must have craved for that one reason for your existence, one reason to smile, one ray of hope for warmth, a breeze to break free from the smokes of suffocation, the tides to push you ahead, not letting you stagnate, the colours that paint your life with exuberance. When was it that thoughts ceased to penetrate my mind, emotions stopped touching me – is not in my memory but life lost its appeal, its charm, its magic. The sun shone on me and the breeze aided the tides to push me ahead, so what? What was I but a dead leaf? And then one day rain fell in torrents. Completely drenched and on the verge of drowning and getting lost in the depths of the ocean, I felt black, nothing but black. Blackness engulfing me, choking me. I looked up, perhaps for the last time before black became me – slowly but surely black ceased to flow in. It was a spectacular sight, blending into a single gigantic force that radiated truth, peace, love, hope, energy, faith and purity. That magnificent piece was full of life, full of magic, full of colours and there was no place for black in it. I felt liberated at long last. Finally, my rainbow had arrived and I breathed. 19 March 2005, at 5 months of age, all Keya did was to cry out. It wasn't any different that morning. She coughed, sniffled and wheezed, but her wailing did not cease, it was only broken by her hiccups. I wondered what took the maid so long to sterilise her bottles. Fed up with the noise I went to her room

and called her name “Keya,” but she did not respond. Neither did she look at me nor did she stop crying. Maybe she did not recognise the unfamiliar sound or maybe the maid called her by some other name – I did not care. I just wanted her to shut up.

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rritated, I came up to my room and closed the door. I diverted my attention towards the meeting scheduled that evening. I had little reasons to fear. My strategies, my staff, my company, never failed. In the rat race of business, victory almost always kissed my feet, rendering my competitors mere also-rans. The glamour, the power associated with a company branded with an international status did not permit me to get disturbed by a five monthold and deviate thus. But what was wrong today? Why couldn't the maid handle the baby today? Keya's screams grew louder and I made several unsuccessful attempts of ignoring her but, as I dressed up, she became quiet and the

SHORT STORY

her up; it was magic. sudden silence in the house steered my thoughts back Her tear-filled eyes to Keya. She must have fallen asleep, I thought, as I shone, there was a glint prepared to leave. I saw the clock ticking and in them that held my gaze. She seemed to frantically searched for my car keys -–in my purse, on radiate energy, radiate colours, radiate life – the rack, in the cane basket. But the keys were my rainbow was born and it now emerged nowhere to be found. In the silence that filled my from its birthplace, my daughter's eyes. house I heard a rattling sound – as I whirled around. I As I brought her closer to me, she found myself witnessing a spectacular sight. Keya was clutched my hair and let her gums dig into my struggling to sit upright. She did manage that for a chin. A toothless smile was never so beautiful. moment or two but then she nobbled and fell back, Her small, chubby hands were only to try again. She sat up, her hands slapping my cheeks and as I held outstretched, my car keys dangling from her As I brought her tight, she kicked me, her legs right hand. her closer to barely reaching my belly. As she me, she continued kicking, I was taken back in time couldn't remember the last time when Keya was still within me and I something had intrigued me to this clutched my declared unceremoniously that I had felt the extent, something that captivated me, in hair and let first kick. Today, it was nothing less than a spite of myself. I was getting late. I walked her gums dig miracle. A feeling seeped inside, an to her and gently disentangling the bunch of into my chin. emotion filled my cold soul with warmth, a keys from her hands I headed for the door. A toothless dream came to life, colours hustled out of What made me turn back and look at her is smile was blackness from me. Keya wasn't a reason something I haven't yet been able to fathom. for me to live, she was life itself. I saw tears trickling down her cheeks. I never so Finally, I felt I was a mother, finally I felt rushed to her. For the first time I touched her beautiful. I was alive and, I breathed. – she was so delicate, so fragile. I picked We

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PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE

SWEET

RELISH

Here are some desserts to complete your dinner. By Roma

CHIKKU KHEER INGREDIENTS: 3 chikkus 1 litre of milk 4-5 tsp of sweetener – you could increase or decrease this amount as per your taste METHOD Peel the chikku, remove the seeds and mash the pulp with a fork. Keep aside. Place the milk in a thick-bottomed pan and bring the milk to boil. Continue to boil till till has been reduced to less than half its quantity. Mix in the sweetener and stir gently. Add the fruit pulp and boil 3-4 minutes more. Remove the thickened kheer and serve cold or at room temperature.

RASPBERRY SOUFFLE INGREDIENTS: 200-250 gm of raspberries 200 gm of hung curd 150 gm of grated paneer 5-6 tsp of sweetener 21/2 tsp of gelatine 48

INGREDIENTS: 200 gm of flour 180 gm of oil 4 slices of tinned pineapple 1 tsp of baking powder 1/ tsp of sodi bi carb 2 3 eggs 1 cup of thick hung curd 8-9 tsp of sweetener METHOD Sift together the flour, the baking powder and soda, and the sweetener. Beat the eggs in a mixer. Mix in the oil and also mix in the hung curd. Blend the mixture to obtain a smooth mixture. Place the sifted flour into a mixing bowl. Slowly add the egg, curd and oil mixture and blend well to obtain a smooth batter.

For garnishing: a few pieces of raspberries METHOD Soak the gelatine in half cup of lukewarm water and leave aside for 3-4 minutes. In the meantime - wash the raspberries, cut into halves and then place in a mixer and churn to obtain a puree. In the same mixture, add the hung curd, grated paneer, the sweetener together with the fruit pulp and churn the whole mixture gently. Pour into serving bowls and allow to set. Before serving garnish with the berries or any other fruit and serve. Woman’s Era

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Place the pineapple pieces on the bottom of a baking tray. You could cut the pineapple into halves or leave the slices whole. Pour the batter over the pineapples. Place this tin in a preheated oven and bake at 180 degree for 40 minutes or until a needle comes out clean when inserted in We the centre of the cake.

FOOD FOR

festivity

The festival of colours, Holi is a time for celebration. We bring you recipes which include snacks, main course and desserts to pamper your guests during the festive season. By Roma Ghosh.

CORN KISH INGREDIENTS: 3 cups corn niblets 1/ cup ghee 2 1 tsp garam masala powder 1/ tsp annar dana powder 2 1/ tsp jeera powder 2 1/ tsp red chilli powder 2 salt to taste To serve: 2 Malabar paranthans or jeera paranthans

Corn kish

coarsely. Mix in the spices and on low heat continue to cook the corn, mashing with the back of a wooden spoon as you continue to cook. Cook over low heat for at least 8-10 minutes adding ghee a little at a time. To serve: cut the paranthans into triangles. Place a portion of the prepared corn on these paranthan triangles and serve as a starter. Stuffed dates

METHOD Boil 350 ml of water and add salt to taste. Once the water is boiling drop the corn niblets into the boiling water and allow corn to simmer in it for 2-3 minutes. Drain out all the excess water. Heat 2 tbsp of ghee in a nonstick pan or a tava. Fry the corn niblets for 2 minutes and while doing so keep mashing the corn so that these get crushed 50

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STUFFED DATES INGREDIENTS: 12-15 whole seedless dates For the stuffing: 1 cup sugar syrup 2 tsp pistachio nuts 2 tbsp cashew nuts To serve: silver warq for decoration METHOD Break the cashews and pistachio nuts into small pieces. Heat the sugar syrup and add the pistachio and cashew nut pieces. Cook on low fire and keep stirring so that the syrup begins to thicken and the dry fruits get coated in the sugar syrup. Once the mixture is dry cool it to room temperature to use it as a filling for the dates. Carefully place a portion of this filling in the centre of the dates from where the seeds have been removed. Wrap

allow to splutter. Add to the prepared dal and serve with the wheat cakes.

each of the stuffed dates with silver warq. Prepare all the dates in this way and serve as a starter or serve as part of the many desserts for Holi.

FISH IN MUSTARD AND COCONUT MILK

DEEP FRIED WHEAT CAKES INGREDIENTS: 2 cups wheatflour – atta 1 tsp ajwain seeds 1 cup ghee ghee or oil for deep frying salt to taste For the dal: 1 cup thuvar dal 2 tbsp ghee 1/ tsp haldi powder 2 1/ tsp ajwain or jeera as per 2 your taste 2 green chillies slit into halves salt to taste METHOD Heat 1 tbsp of ghee in a kadhai. Add the wheatflour and fry the atta on low fire till it turns light golden brown in colour. Add a little more oil and continue to stir and cook on low fire and use up all the ghee adding a little at a time till the atta is a nice golden in colour. In another pan heat 5-6 cups of water. Add the lukewarm water slowly into the fried atta a Deep fried wheat cakes

Fish in Mustard and coconut milk

little at a time. Keep stirring continuously so that the water mixes into the atta without forming lumps. Once the batter is thick spread it in a rimmed greased thali. Alternately place it on a rolling board used for preparing rotis and roll out with a rolling pin to at least half inch in thickness. Leave this aside for 10-12 minutes to set. Then with a cutter cut it into small round portions . You can use a round katorie for this too to cut circular cakes. Heat oil or ghee for deep frying and fry these cakes on low fire a few at a time. Fry till brown on top on low fire. Serve these wheat cakes with thuvar ki dal. The preparation is rather heavy but can be enjoyed during the festival season. For the dal: Soak the dal in water for 15 minutes. Drain out all the water. Heat 1 tbsp of ghee in a pan or a pressure cooker and fry the dal for one minute. Add 2 and a half cups of water and salt and haldi powder and cook the dal till tender but not mushy. You can add more water if you want the consistency thinner. If you are adding more water then bring the dal to a boil and allow it to simmer for a further 2 minutes. Put off the heat and pour into a serving dish. In a small pan heat the remaining ghee and add the ajwain seeds, green chillies and Woman’s Era

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INGREDIENTS: 6-8 pieces rahu or any other fish 1 tsp haldi powder mustard oil for deep frying the fish salt to taste For the gravy: 2 tbsp English mustard 2-3 slit green chillies 2 tsp chilli sauce 3 tbsp thick coconut milk

Cleanse your face twice a day with a gentle soap free cleanser. Give headto-toe moisture treatment to your skin. Nutrition is the basic building block to any skincare system. Spring time is the time to take advantage of fresh, green vegetables and fruits. If using the foundation, then opt for a light weight one with SPF protection of minimum 15. Spring season triggers off many allergies which can flare up and cause puff eyes, swelling, redness, etc. A cool compress before applying cosmetics can help prevent minor allergies. Use Vitamin E oil before you sleep, this will refreshen the skin, which has grown dull after winter.

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For garnishing: cherries and pistachio nuts METHOD Clean the fish and sprinkle salt and half the amount of the turmeric powder and keep aside for 10 minutes. Heat enough oil for deep frying the fish . Fry 2-3 pieces of the fish in hot oil , turning once so that both the sides are fried crispy and brown. Remove and keep aside. Remove most of the oil leaving only 2 tsp in the pan. Mix together the mustard with 2 tbsp of lukewarm water in a mixing bowl to get a smooth paste. Also, add the chilli sauce to this paste. Now mix this paste into the oil in the pan and place on low fire. Add 2 cups of water and bring to a boil. Now add the fried fish pieces and allow the fish to simmer in the sauce for 3-4 minutes. Allow the sauce to thicken and then add the green chillies and the coconut milk. Stir gently and remove from fire. Garnish with cherries and pistachio and serve with steamed rice or puris or paranthas.

COFFEE WALNUT PASTRY INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida 225 gm sugar 200 gm white butter 11/2 tsp baking powder 11/2 tbsp instant coffee powder 3 eggs For the coffee icing: 11/2 tbsp coffee 2 tsp cornflour 2 drops brown colour For decoration: walnuts METHOD Sift together the maida, baking powder and the coffee powder. 52

Coffee walnut pastry

Place in a mixing bowl and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer. Mix in the eggs and beat well in a mixer or with a hand blender. Add the butter and blend again. Continue to blend and mix till the mixture is smooth and fluffy. Add this mixture to the sifted flour mixing continuously as you do so. Mix the sifted flour and the egg mixture together, ensuring no lumps form. Grease a cake tin. Pour the cake mixture into the cake tin and bake in a preheated oven for 40-45 minutes or until a knitting needle comes out clean when inserted in the centre of the cake. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool Decorated strawberries

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To prepare the icing: Mix the coffee in 2 cups of water and allow the mixture to simmer over low fire. Mix the cornflour in 3 tsp of lukewarm water and add to the coffee mixture. Continue to simmer and keep stirring till the mixture begins to thicken. Put off the heat and mix in the brown colour. Cool to room temperature. Cut the cake into pastry sizes. Use a butter knife to lace the top of each pastry cake with the coffee icing and garnish with pieces of walnuts. Keep in the fridge for the icing to set completely. Take out from the fridge just before serving.

DECORATED STRAWBERRIES

This is a colourful dessert to go with the colourful mood of Holi. Easy to prepare, it adds colour to the Holi special meal INGREDIENTS: 24 pieces fresh strawberries For the chocolate sauce: 3 tbsp drinking chocolate powder 2 tsp sugar 1 tsp cornflour – optional

METHOD To prepare the chocolate sauce: Boil 200 ml of water and add sugar to taste. Stir till the sugar melts, Lower the heat and mix in chocolate powder. It will be advisable to mix the chocolate powder in half cup of lukewarm water and then add it to the boiling water which has sugar dissolved in it. Pour the chocolate mix and continue to stir and cook on low fire till the chocolate sauce begins to thicken. At this stage you may mix the cornflour with 2 tbsp of lukewarm water and add to the sauce. Continue to stir and thicken. Once the sauce thickens, remove from fire and cool at room temperature. Wash the strawberries and dip the tip of a few of the strawberries into the prepared chocolate sauce. Dip each of the strawberries one at a time. Place on a serving plate. You could even dip the entire strawberry into chocolate and then roll it in chocolate decorations or roll it in tiny pieces of cashews. Place all the strawberries on a serving plate and keep in the fridge for the chocolate sauce to coat the

strawberries well. Remove from the fridge just at the time of serving.

SWEET RAJASTHANI KACHORIE INGREDIENTS: For the dough: 11/2 cups maida 2 tbsp ghee a pinch of salt For the filling: 1 cup khoya – crumbled 1 tbsp almonds – blanched and crushed into small pieces 1 tbsp pistachio – broken into small pieces 1/ tsp cinnamon powder 2 1/ tsp elaichi powder – 2 cardamom powder

Dampen the edge of the roti with water and hold at 4-5 points at its rim, bringing close at the centre. Press the points tightly so that the filling is sealed inside. Press this ball with your palm gently. Repeat with other balls. Bake or deep-fry all the balls and keep aside to cool. Prepare a chasni syrup of 2 threads by dissolving 1 cup sugar in 1 cup water. Make a hole of size 1 cm at the top centre of each kachorie and pour approximately 2 tsp of the chasni into it. Pour some chasni outside on the kachorie also.

For the syrup: 1 cup sugar 1 cup water for syrup METHOD Roll one ball to a size of about 3 inch diameter roti. Place 2 tsp of filling stuff at its centre.

Sweet Rajasthani Kachorie

Egyptian pulao

EGYPTIAN PULAO INGREDIENTS: 1 cup basmati rice 1/ cup or 3-4 tbsp sabot mung 4 dal 1/ tsp or rosemary – dried or 2 fresh leaves 1 cup macaroni – any size or shape – can be of two or three varieties too 2 tbsp butter salt to taste METHOD Soak the rice and the dal separately in water for 1 hour. Drain out all the excess water. Heat the butter in a pan and fry

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the rice and the dal for 2 minutes. Lower the heat and add 2 cups of water, salt to taste and the rosemary powder. Stir and bring the water to boil. Lower the heat and cover with a lid so that the rice and the dal are cooked and all the water is evaporated. In the meantime boil the different variety of macaroni till tender. Drain out all the excess water. Mix the macaroni into the prepared pulao and serve hot.

MUSHROOM AND SPINACH CAKE INGREDIENTS: 1 cup spinach puree 100 gm button mushrooms 100 gm hung curd 125 gm refined oil 3 tbsp grated parmesan cheese 200 gm flour 11/4 tsp baking powder 1 tsp mixed herbs 1 small size red bell pepper optional 2-3 pinches of salt METHOD In a mixer, blend together the hung curd, cheese and oil. Run the mixer well so that the ingredients blend into a smooth

Mushroom and spinach cake

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Tri decker pastry

mixture. Pour this mixture into the spinach puree and mix well in a mixing bowl. Sift together the flour, baking powder, herbs and the salt. Add these dry ingredients a little at a time into the wet mixture. Mix continuously so that the ingredients blend well without forming lumps. All the ingredients should get mixed properly. Grease a small oven proof tart dishes. Cut circles of the button mushrooms and place one or two at the bottom of the tart dish. Balance the other slices of mushrooms all around the tart, making the slices of mushrooms to stand straight against the raised rim of the tart dish. Pour the prepared cakes mixture over the mushrooms. Place the tart dish in an oven at 160 degree C for 15-18 minutes or until the tarts rise and begin to turn light golden brown on top. Insert a knitting needle in the centre which should come out clean when the cake is baked. Put off the oven and remove the tarts and overturn these so that mushrooms are seen on top. Variation: You could cut slices of red bell pepper without Woman’s Era

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removing the seeds and place it on top of the tart dish. Bake in the same way and you need not overturn the tart in this case if you want the red bell pepper to show on top.

TRI DECKER PASTRY

To make one pastry you will need: INGREDIENTS: 2 slices sponge cake 1 slice chocolate cake For the layering: 3-4 tbsp whipped sweetened cream 2-3 tbsp mixed fruit jam 2-3 tbsp plum sauce For decoration: raspberries METHOD To assemble the pastry: Place one slice of the sponge cake on a plate. Cover the top of this slice with the sweetened whipped cream. Place a piece of the chocolate cake on this. Mix the strawberry jam with 1 tsp of lukewarm water so that it

becomes easy to spread over the cake. Spread this jam over the slice of chocolate cake. Now place the second slice of the sponge cake. Spread the plum sauce over it (if it is too thick then add half tsp of lukewarm water to the plum sauce). Top with the raspberries and enjoy the tri decker cake.

CORN KACHORIE INGREDIENTS: For the dough: 2 cups flour - maida 1 tbsp butter 1 tbsp vegetable oil about 3/4 cup warm water (enough for a firm dough) salt to taste For the filling: 1 cup corn niblets/kernels 1 tbsp fresh coriander leaves chopped 1 tsp cumin seeds 2 tbsp oil pinch hing 1/ tsp cumin/mustard/sesame 2 seed mixture

1 tbsp lemon juice 1/ -1/ tsp cumin/coriander 4 2 powder 1/ teaspoon turmeric 4 oil for deep frying the kachuri salt to taste METHOD Grind the corn kernels in a mixer coarsely. Heat the oil and add the whole spices and allow to splutter. Add the corn and fry for 2-3 minutes. Mix in the rest of the ingredients for the filling and continue to fry on low fire for a further 2 minutes. Remove and keep aside. Mix the maida, butter, oil and salt and add water to knead into a firm dough. Divide the dough into portions. Roll out each portion into a 3 inch round chapatti. Place a portion of the corn filling in the centre and of each ‘chapatti’ and fold to form a round ball. Flatten slightly with your palms. Heat enough oil for deep frying and fry the kachories on very low fire. Fry 3-4 at a time till the kachories are crispy and golden brown.

Corn kachorie

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Sabudana pakora

SABUDANA PAKORA INGREDIENTS: 250 gm Sabudana - sago 500 gm rice flour 250 gm maida 200 ml curd 4 onions 2-3 green chillies 1 inch piece ginger 1 tsp red chilli powder coriander curry leaves salt to taste METHOD Soak the Sabudana in curd for around 5 to 6 hours. In a mixing bowl, place the soaked sabudana and curd and mix riceflour, flour, chilli powder, salt, chopped onions, chopped green chillies, finely chopped ginger, chopped coriander, curry leaves. Add sufficient water to this and mix well. Prepare into a batter and keep beating with your fingers so that the batter is well mixed and smooth. Heat enough oil for deep frying. Use a spoon or even your fingers and drop small portions of the prepared batter into hot oil. Fry on low fire a few pakodas at a time. Fry till light golden brown. Serve hot with chutney or ketchup or pickle.

SABUDANA KHICHIDI

Simple recipe but tastes good when there is too much fried food or too much sweets. A small helping of this tastes good with the rich food INGREDIENTS: 1 cup sabudana(sago) 50 gm peanuts 3-4 tsp oil 1/ tsp sugar 2 1 boiled potato peeled and cut into pieces 2 green chillies - chopped finely 1/ tsp mustard seeds 4 1 pinch hing (asafoetida) few curry leaves salt to taste For garnishing: 50 gm or 2 tbsp bhujia, or mixed hot gram - optional wash and soak sabudana in water for 2-3 hours. METHOD Heat the oil/ghee in a pan and add mustard seeds. When the mustard seed crackle add cumin seeds, green chillies and curry leaves. Add potatoes and stir well. Mix

in the sugar and now also mix in the soaked sabudana mixture and gently fry for 1-2 minutes, taking care that the sabudana does not become pulpy. Add the lime juice and toss gently and serve.

OMALI INGREDIENTS: 12-14 frozen puff pastry sheets, thawed 1/ cup chopped walnuts 2 1 cup chopped pecan nuts 1 cup raisins 1 cup dried coconut 11/4 cups white sugar, divided 4 cups milk 1/ cup heavy cream 2 METHOD O Preheat oven to 180 C. Grease a baking dish. Place the pastry sheets in the baking dish and place the dish in the oven. When the top layer turns crunchy and golden, remove it from the oven. Continue until all the sheets are cooked. Preheat the oven broiler. In a bowl, mix together the nuts, raisins, coconut and 1/4 cup sugar. Break cooked pastry into

Omali

pieces and stir into nut mixture. Spread mixture evenly in oven dish. Bring milk and 1/2 cup sugar to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Pour over nut mixture. Beat the heavy cream with the remaining 1/2 cup sugar until stiff peaks form. Spread evenly over nut mixture in dish. Place dessert under oven broiler until top is golden brown, about 10 minutes. Serve hot.

SPINACH PIE INGREDIENTS: For the crust: 11/2 cups flour 4 tbsp melted butter salt to taste For the filling: 2 cups chopped fresh spinach 2 cups parmesan cheese 1 cup milk 1 beaten egg 3 tbsp olive oil 3 pods chopped garlic METHOD To prepare the crust: Sift together the flour and the salt. Mix in the butter with your fingers. Now add just enough water to knead to form a smooth dough.

Sabudana khichidi

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BALUSHAI INGREDIENTS: 1 cup maida 2-3 tbsp ghee 1 tbsp dahi - yogurt 1/ tsp baking powder 2

Spinach pie

For the syrup: 11/2 cups sugar 11/2 cups water

Balushai

Place in a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for 30 minutes. To prepare the filling: Heat oil in a pan and add the garlic, and the spinach. Sauté until soft and remove from the heat. Keep aside. Divide the dough into two portions. Roll out both the portions into circular chapatti a little larger than the size of the pie dish you are going to use. Place one of the chapatti on the base of a greased pie dish. In a mixing bowl, whisk the milk and the eggs and also add the drained spinach. Pour this mixture over the prepared pie crust and cover with the other rolled out chapatti. Bake in the oven at 180 degree C for about 25-30 minutes. Place on a serving platter, slice into pieces and serve warm.

MAWA LADOOS INGREDIENTS: 2 cups wheat flour 1 cup mawa 1 cup ghee 2-3 tbsp sugar or as per taste 1/ cup blanched and chopped 2 almonds

METHOD Sift the flour and baking powder. Add ghee and mix with your fingers. Mix in the dahi and just enough water to knead into a smooth pliable dough. .Divide the dough into 6-8 portions and shape each portion into a ball. Flatten each of the balls. Then with your thumb and index finger press in the centre such that the centre part is thinner than the edges. Keep the prepared patties aside Heat enough oil for deep frying. Fry the prepared patties on low fire, a few at a time. The patties must be fried on very low fire and the patties should take around 12-14 minutes to rise and become golden brown. Once they are Dr Rita Jain 13-MIG, Near Tripathi Chauraha, golden brown, remove Allahabad, Pin: 211 002 them with a slotted spoon

Winner of Friendship Quiz Contest - 70

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and put it in a sugar syrup and immediately remove it and place it on a separate dish. To prepare the sugar syrup: Bring the water to boil and add the sugar. Stir till the sugar melts and continue to simmer on low fire for around 10-12 minutes.. Stir from time to time till the syrup is semi-thick in consistency. To test if the syrup is ready take a spoon of syrup and put it in a glass of water. If the syrup settles at the bottom, then it is ready.

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METHOD Heat a kadhai and dry-roast the wheatflour over low heat till it turns light golden brown, stirring all the time. Break the mava into small pieces – in fact crush it into fine grains. Add this mawa into the wheat flour and allow the mawa to melt. Add the sugar and keep stirring over low fire till the mixture begins to thicken. Continue to fry, add the remaining ghee a little at a time. Once the mixture is almost dry, put off the heat and add the almonds. While still hot, shape into ladoos with greased palms. The colour of the ladoos will vary on how much you dry-roast the wheatflour. If you make it a dark golden brown then the ladoos will be of a darker shade. We

QA &

Q& A

I recently got married and have to often work in the kitchen. For some reason my cuticles keep getting cracked and sometimes it is painful. What can I do to fight this problem as I already have short nails? Mash an overripe papaya and add glycerin to it. Apply on cuticles area every day and leave for 15 minutes before washing off. Before going to bed massage some warmed almond oil or olive oil on the area and wear gloves to protect your hands from the harsh and hurting detergents.

In summer I use curd as a base for my hair mask. However, it seems too cold in winter to use that. What is the alternative for this? I presume your hair is more dry than oily. You can use egg yolk as a base, mix a teaspoon of oil if your hair is dry and if you have oily hair you can mash up a fruit and add to it (papaya and pineapple work best). Leave for half an hour before washing off with tepid water.

I was told that honey can be used as a leave in hair conditioner. But I am sure it will be too sticky really. How to use honey as a conditioner? Honey is a good moisturiser and if you have dry scalp or any dandruff, it is very good. It is best to mix a teaspoon of honey in about 250 ml of water. After shampooing your hair, use this as a last rinse. It will not feel sticky. However, if you feel uncomfortable you may leave it for about 10 minutes and then rinse once again.

I do not have much hair on my arms and legs and tend to shave it when I am wearing something sleeveless. Is it harmful to shave too often? You say that you do not have much hair on arms and legs – then why do you need to shave it at all? It is a much better option to wax these hair as that gives you smoothness for up to three weeks. If you are shaving your hair, remember to use a gel afterwards that is moisturising and smoothens the skin.

I am a working woman and when I am in a hurry I tend to always use a hairdryer. Can this harm my hair? You should take certain care when using a hairdryer regularly. Don’t use it on very hot setting and use a nourishing conditioner for healthier hair. Also, towel-dry your hair as much as possible before using the dryer. Stop using the hair dryer before the hair turns totally dry. Leave it slightly damp to minimise the harm. If your hair is fine and long then you could

also think of using a leave in conditioner instead of the one that is washed off.

My beautician says I need at least three sessions of facial peel to get the desired result. I am about to be married in a few months time and money is not an issue but I do not want to harm my skin by too many procedures. Is she being honest? You need to be more trustful towards your beautician. Yes, treatments like chemical peels, micro-derma-brasion or even laser procedures need more than one session to give total effective results. Ask a qualified dermatologist if you want reassurance about how effective the treatments would be (especially if the recommendation is more than two of the same treatment) and ask for the correct time lapse between treatments.

My friend recently got married and swore that home treatments worked wonders for her skin tone (they did) and she said she used a lot of haldi in her regime. Won’t that make me look yellow? No, haldi or turmeric, if used correctly will give the benefits of its antiseptic qualities without leaving the yellow colour. If your skin is normal to dry the combination of malai with besan (gramflour) and half a teaspoon of haldi used alternate days on face like an exfoliator would give great result. You can also add it to your body scrub. Avoid using it for leave on face masks as that may leave a yellowish hue.

FEMININE Urbane

&classy!

An innovative and fresh boulevard of traditional Indian ensembles with a unique majestic look...

Pink is in: Captivating pink suit with churidar sleeves accentuated with half jacket and edged with brown fur.

Fabulous fusion: Blending tradition and modernity, the lovely kurti in green with patchwork designs is teamed with brown churidar.

Magic of black & blue: A unique kurti in flowing fabric beautified with half jacket edged with blue fabric border is coupled with matching churidar.

Beautiful blend: Polka dotted A-line shaped kurti in blue accentuated with paisley motifs paired with churidar – a concoction of east and west, reflecting the inherent Indian soul.

Romance in style: Intricate embroidery on this lovely half jacket worn over saffron kurti matched with maroon tights, takes you back to the era of romance.

Pretty in pastels: Celebrating the quintessence of bling and glamour, the kurti in subtle shades accentuated with floral patchwork, border and lace is paired with tights n hues of beige.

Pretty in patchwork: Striped patchwork in hues of golden beige and mouse and beautiful design in patchwork edging the hemline on this kurti teamed with matching churidar and dupatta is captivating.

Regal touch: The lovely polkadotted kurti in golden beige beautified with intricate embroidered work teamed with churidar and dupatta.

Touch of luxury: Brocade shirt in pink embroidered work is coupled with matching dupatta and churidar.

Dressed by: FI – Fashion & I Courtyard Mall, Delhi-110 017 Ph: 011-46010377

QA &

Q& A My son is four years old. He is very short tempered and naughty. When he gets angry he starts throwing things around and screams loudly. He does not come around with words. Please tell me how to manage him. He is our only child and we have lessened our pampering. You have indeed pampered him and in the process made him the indisciplined brat he is today but all is not lost. You have to regain control over him so that he grows up to be a responsible human being. You could begin by being firm and not relenting whatever means he adopts to make you come around. The next time he throws a tantrum, just ignore him. Let him throw things around (keep valuables safe from him) and scream to his hearts content. Do not pay any attention and do not betray by word or deed that his acts of defiance are having any effect on you and do not give in to unreasonable demands. Tantrums are an attentionseeking device and if you react in any way, it will have the effect he desires and he will continue to do so. On the other hand, if you pretend that nothing is amiss, he will give up the habit by and by. Later, when he is in a calmer frame of mind, you can talk matters over with him. You could also hug and kiss him to let him know that you love him but not that particular act of his.

I have a five-year-old daughter. She is in the habit of scratching the wall and eating the plaster. Please tell me how to make her stop this habit. I am afraid that it may cause harm to her body. Your daughter has a condition called pica which means a desire to eat non-edible things. Though the cause is not known, it is often associated with neglect, deprivation or insecurity and even child abuse. I have a sevenyears-old son. He does not like to go out and play with friends. The whole day he watches CDs on the computer. Due to this, he does not even complete his homework quite often. Please tell me what to do. You will have to firmly restrict his time in front of the computer no matter what it takes; even if it means keeping it under lock and key. Let him rave and rant but do not give in. Make him understand that you will allow him time with the computer provided he finishes his homework and goes out to play for at least an hour. When he finally does come around, keep the computer in the living room so that you can keep an eye on what he is watching, for children as young as him get hooked onto sites not meant for children. Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

Are you a working woman who has to leave her alone for prolonged periods? Has she suffered from a recent emotional trauma like displacement in your attention and affections due to the appearance of a sibling or recent separation on account of school? Is there a family history of pica and the child is merely following the example set? As for management of the situation, try distracting her whenever she starts scratching the wall, instead of scolding and beating her. Give her a lot of love and attention. Try substituting the plaster with chewable calcium tablets. Get her haemoglobin tested since pica can be associated with iron deficiency anaemia. Intake of dirt can lead to worm infestation which has to be looked into.

My elder son, aged 13, has started behaving very strangely with his father. He gets frustrated with whatever his father says. On his part, my husband too keeps nagging him and later says he said it for fun but no one thinks it funny. My son has begun to shun us and generally behave in an arrogant manner. Kindly tell us how to manage him as we are at a loss about what to do with him. Your son is going through a confusing phase of life – adolescence. The hormonal surge is creating havoc with his psyche and a nagging father in such a situation is certainly not what he needs. Saying it was all in fun will only worsen matters. You will have to handle him with love and care and give him a bit of space. If he is arrogant and back-answers do not turn it into a shouting match. Talk with him when he is in a calmer frame of mind and ask if anything specific is troubling him. If he is not close enough to you both and does not open his heart to you, you could take the help of a psychologist. Most schools have teachers/sociologist who take care of such issues. – Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD. 71

t is a proven fact that seduction is an art. Hot babe Nikita always does something different to attract her guy, turn him on, and let him explore his wilder side to its best when it comes to taking a leap on the bed. On the other hand, Tanya who is physically more attractive than Nikita, always finds herself in big trouble in a situation like this. She runs out of new ideas and struggles to explore the naughty side of her guy. She finally ends up losing the sex battle. This is not the story of Tanya alone. Many females like her in this whole wide world fall prey to such a situation. “What to do?” is the question that arises here. Does a Nikita kind of babe is having a magic stick in her hand? The answer is NO. You can also be full of witty, whacky and wild ideas that can make your man go down on his knees. So, to make your sexual relationship a healthier one, here are some of the coolest ideas: Dress to kill: An attractive, sexy outfit plays a major role in winning the heart of the one you love. Your guy would love to see you in a transparent attire. So keep this in mind and wear a see-through night gown late evening to seduce him. Also remember, do not put on any lingerie to add a ‘little more’ to his excitement. The touch game: They say everything starts with a touch. You can also play the touching game with your guy to add more zing to your relationship. Try to identify his sensitive body parts like his neck, ears, tummy and areas below the belt. Now touch and lick him there to turn the heat on. Also, try moving your hand on his chest and then slowly coming down. It can be truly sensational! Running your fingers from head to toe can really put the oil in the burning flames. Go the ‘reel’ way: Movies, or the reel life, can act as your best companion when the two of you are under the same bedsheet, sharing the same bed, of course. So, get into the bed having some naughty DVDs to watch with him. Tell him that you want to enact a naughty scene

I SEXCITING TIPS TO GO CRAZY MAKE HIM

Don’t let him make all the hot moves. Start making them yourself. By Amit Wadhwa

playing in the movie with him. He is going to love this for sure. A piece of advice: Pure porn/ hardcore/XXX should be avoided in such a situation. Try love bites: Ever tried biting on your partner’s body? If not, then let me tell you it is a REAL turn-on. So try it at least once. To start with, run your fingers between his upper and lower lip so that he takes your finger in his mouth and starts sucking it. Now move forward slowly and let your breasts get closer to his chest. It’s the right time now to give him love bites on his ears, shoulder and neck. This will surely have a crazy effect on him.

Dirty dancing: Dance is not by chance, it’s always a part of funloving romance. Dance with him in your room to a very romantic musical number. Try ballroom dancing to a soft number while the two of you are wearing almost nothing. It will be great fun for sure. Also, when you two are at home alone, slowly start undressing each other and shake a leg together. This will turn out to be a hot dancing affair that you will remember for life. Act slowly: Always act as a slow poison. Do not give him everything all at once. Make him wait; reveal your assets like cleavage, in bits, but not completely. Give him a

passionate look; speak with your sexy eyes, to have the time of your life. Always remember the fact that slow and steady always wins the race. Lick, lick, lick: To seduce him in a sexy and stylish manner, get some ice cream or liquid chocolate. Of course, it is meant to be eaten – but in a more passionate way. All you need to do now is, take a scoopful of the ice cream or chocolate and put a few melting drops of it on his body parts. The areas to be attacked on a priority basis are the lips, neck and cheeks. Now start the licking game. Lick all that you have dropped on him. You will relish – it and he will We cherish it!

in the uterus and diseases like endometriosis, etc. may be responsible. It would be better if you see your doctor who after examining you will be able to decide the cause and treat you accordingly.

Q& A I am 30 years old and a teacher by profession. Of late, my voice has become husky. I have taken many treatments but had no help. Please advise. Huskiness of the voice occurs in people who have to speak, much like you. There is swelling of the vocal cord which settles down after giving rest to them. But if this persists, firstly you should consult your ENT specialist who after examining you will be able to plan the line of treatment. For your information huskiness of voice is common in smokers and people with frequent throat infections. Polyps in the vocal cords areas, poor functioning of the thyroid gland and, lastly, persistent huskiness may be early sign of throat cancer.

I am 30 years old and married. My problem is that my periods are quite irregular. Sometimes, I skip a month and then there is heavy bleeding and two periods are back to back. Please advise. Your irregular periods point hormonal imbalances. Besides this factor of stress, increase in weight and excessive exercise in addition to factors like the presence of fibroids

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I am 32 years and have been having menstrual problems. My doctor has diagnosed it to be due to endometriosis. I am worried. Please help. I hope your doctor has really done tests to confirm it. It is a condition in which the inlands of tissue from the lining inside the uterus invade the surrounding structures and become embedded in them. Trouble begins when the monthly bleeding irritates surrounding tissues. A woman who suffers from it may have pain during sexual relation ships. Some women suffer from sterility. Your doctor will be the right person to advise you on the course of treatment.

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I am a college girl of 18. Recently, I read about a disease called ‘kissing disease’ what is it? Kissing disease is so called because it spreads by the act of kissing. It is caused by the Epsteinbarr virus and the disease is called infectious mononucleosis. Generally, there are symptoms of sore throat, headache, fever and enlarged glands in the neck. It is a self-limiting disease and the person recovers after a few days of bed rest in an uncomplicated case.

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I am 35 years old. Recently, I have noticed that clumps of hair come out when I brush. At this rate I am afraid I may become bald. Please help. Before we talk of your problem let us understand the problem Normally, you lose about 60-70 hair per day. These are being replaced by new growth. When the new hair start growing these push the old hair out. So it means your hair loss is probably due to the problem of hair turnover. But

excessive loss of hair is generally due to nutritional deficiencies, following fever like typhoid, crash dieting and local diseases of scalp. Too-tight knotting or hair curling and use of dyes may be other factors. It would be better if you see a specialist in haircare who will be able to solve your problem.

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I am 40 years, overweight and have recently developed dilated veins in my legs. My doctor says these are varicose veins. Please advise. Varicose veins are as a result of the defective functioning of the valves in the veins with the result that blood which travels in the veins upwards towards the heart does not do so properly. Due to of its sluggish flow, blood accumulates in the dilated veins and the circulation becomes poor. Due to poor circulation there is hypoxia. If this process is allowed to continue varicose ulcers may form. Sufferers from varicose veins generally complain of aching and swelling of the legs after prolonged standing. Women who are over weight are more likely to suffer from varicose veins. There are two ways of treating it – the use of support stockings, and keeping your feet up after standing. Long-standing cases of varicose veins may have to opt for surgery.

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My problem is that when my 12-yearold son takes bananas, eggs, chocolates, etc. he starts having a pain in the abdomen. Our doctor says that he is allergic to these food items. Please advise. Allergy to certain foods is quite common and many people are not aware about it. Your son, unfor tunately, is allergic to the foods you have mentioned. The only solution for him is to avoid these foods. Beyond that nothing much can be done. Many people advise desensitisation procedures. But these are very time-consuming and generally not recommended. — Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.

ICE YOUR FACE

A hot idea to bring back the lost glow. By Vikas Kumar Jain ave you ever tried icing to bring a glow to your face? Icing not only brings a glow, but also removes black patches from your face. So icing is one of the best home-made remedies to get a healthy, mark and spotfree face. But how to do it remains a question. The answer is: the method is as simple as it is effective. So get ready. Freeze water. Get a steel bowl, fill it with water, and put it into the freezer. The reason for opting for a bowl, and not for ice-cubes, is that cubes melt too quickly, and returning to the refrigerator every two minutes can be a irritating. Moreover, ice cubes are smaller. Empty the bowl and break the ice. Once the water in the bowl has frozen, take out the ice. Hold the bowl upside-down over a dish or pan in a sink, and open the tap. The tap water will cause the ice in the bowl to gently slide into the dish or pan underneath. Now smash this mass of ice into smaller pieces. Make sure that the pieces are not too small –

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you do not want them to melt within minutes because it has got to be rubbed over a fixed period of time. Wrap a piece of the ice in cotton cloth. Always use a soft cloth, otherwise it may cause injury to your skin. Once the ice has been wrapped up, wait for half a minute. The piece of cloth will become cold and wet. You can now use it to ice your face.

DE-STRESS THERAPY Begin icing by dabbing at your cheeks. Dab at your cheeks with the cloth containing ice. Then travel up your cheeks, moving the cloth in a gentle, circular motion. Continue this motion all around your face. If you have pimples, pause over them and softly press the cloth into your skin. This may cause your pimples to subside. Ice your forehead and chin. Rest ice over your eyes. Ice and eyes are good for each other. Close your eyes and press the cloth over them for a few minutes. If you feel too cold, stop doing it after half a minute and turn back to your cheeks,

returning to your eyes a few moments later. Apart from making your eyelids glow, it will also freshen up your mood. Nature therapists often use ice on the eyelids to destress their patients. Now, it’s time to stop. Like excess of anything is bad, excess of icing is bad, too. Stop after 15 minutes. By that time, your piece of ice will probably have melted entirely. If it melts too early, get another – twominute icings are of no great help. After going through the icing, dry your wet face with a soft and clean towel. While using the towel, never rub your face. Instead, dab at your face with it until you feel that your face is dry enough. Icing your face once will be not be good enough. Once you start icing, stick to it if you want to see results. Repeat it once or twice every day, especially at night before going to bed or after you have worked or been outside in very hot, dry or rough weather. And remember – when icing, ''gentle'' is the keyword. After all, you do not want to end up with a We red face!

SMART TIPS TO WORK

WONDERS WITH reasts are not just bags of fluid fat. They are beautiful works of art and symbols of desire for men. For most women, breast size is an important part of feeling good, desirable and normal. Understand that a ‘normal, healthy breast’ comes in many different shapes and sizes. In fact, ‘normal’ covers a wide range of things. Normal for you may be quite different from what it is for other women. Furthermore, ‘normal’ also changes through the life stages. For instance, before you reach puberty and begin menstruating, your breasts tend to be quite smooth. Later, hormone changes tend to bring on more texture and size. Through pregnancy and feeding, your breast size increases four to five times. Most women never go back to their original size after a baby. The bottom line really is that big breasts can be healthy and normal and loose, sagging breasts can be healthy and normal and firm, perky breasts can be healthy and normal. Let us learn to appreciate nature. In fact, most pairs aren’t of the same size. Asymmetry in a pair is more common and more normal than not. So don’t fall for the idea that Baywatch breasts — usually hard as rocks and almost pointing to the ceiling, with lots of cleavage and a perfect tan — are normal. Indeed, they are desirable, attractive and can be had for a price, but they are not normal. Usually, the difference in a pair is so small, a woman only notices when she examines herself closely. In some cases, the discrepancy is much more obvious — up to a full cup size. The easiest way to correct the difference is by placing a pad on one

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YOUR BREASTS Here’s how a woman can make her natural assets more appealing. By Dr Parveen Parkash side of your bra. But if one breast is at least half a cup size larger, breastreduction surgery in the bigger breast, or an implant in the smaller one is the option. Talk to your gyno about risks, which in some cases include permanent scarring and loss of breast sensitivity. Your nipples may not match either. This is normal, so don’t worry about it. The only time you should worry is if one or both nipples suddenly change direction. This may indicate a breast tumour. If this happens get it checked by the doctor. Asymmetry probably isn’t a health danger. Most doctors don’t

believe non-matching breasts are a risk. Guidelines for the little girl who is growing into a young woman for selecting the perfect accessory: ● There is no one ‘right’ age for young girls to start wearing bras. Depending on breast development, a girl can start as early as 8 or as late as in her teens. ● To get the right bra, go into the changing room and try on a number of different bras. Once you find a suitable one, you should check for proper support by jumping a little.

Finding the right bra to keep your pair in tip-top shape A bad bra is aggressive and harsh. Get a bra that fits you perfectly. For a smooth look and an excellent fit, there are micro-fibre bras, which are the ultimate in comfort. You can go sexy in satin, wild in racy animal prints and feminine in pretty floral prints. Here are tips to calm the storm in your bra cup: ● Holding your bust up with proper support via a good bra can make you look a lot slimmer. Women can look least one size smaller when they wear the right-size bra.

● A bra that fits you perfectly not only prevents back pain and provides much-needed support, it also shapes your bust to look fabulous. ● A bra with supporting underwire is the best thing for a large bust. ● Your bust should be contained in the bra and not spill out from the sides or below. This gives the illusion of extra fat. ● A bra that’s too tight can restrict blood flow causing mastitis during lactation. ● A too-loose top can cause ‘Cooper’s ligament’ and fibrous tissue in your twins to stretch, resulting in an aching and even premature sagging.

Lean forward in the mirror to see that the cups hold the breasts properly. ● A new bra should be fastened to the last hook as it will stretch with wear, and tear. ● Start with training bras or sports bras and then gradually shift to soft demi or full-cup bras. The seductive bra that instantly makes you a glamorous woman There is a Millennium Bra spun in 24-carat gold thread and studded with a 15-carat diamond, costing $1.9 million. It’s been developed by the well-known lingerie-maker Triumph International, Japan. It weighs 421 gm, about 8 times the weight of a regular bra. Healthy eating keeps your boobs hot Breasts are mostly made up of fat, and any excess kilos

practically go straight to your chest. With the current trend of looking slim, breast size becomes the casualty as, in the process of losing weight, fat is also lost from the breasts giving them a smaller, sagging appearance. Repeatedly gaining and losing kilos forces the delicate skin of your breasts to expand and contract over and over again. The result: harmless but unwanted red or white streaks. So think again before you skip lunch. Studies suggest that over weight women increase their odds of developing breast cancer fivefold. The reason: Fat cells produce oestrogen, a known breast-cancer trigger. The more fat cells you have, the greater the amount of oestrogen circulating in your blood stream. Several other studies have pointed to the association of high-fat diet and obesity and the risk of breast cancer. Besides fat, caffeine can also disturb fragile breasts. It causes water retention, exacerbating the hormoneinduced breast tenderness that occurs just before your periods. So cut down on caffeinated coffees, teas and soft drinks until your flow arrives to ease the PMS-induced pain. Further, couple your healthy diet with exercises such as push-ups, or use the chest-press exercise machine. It works to firm up the pectoral (chest) muscles beneath your breasts. This causes breasts to look firmer.

Breasts hurt after a bedroom session Firm, tight and non-saggy boobs are sexy and the first object of desire for men. Breast tenderness after a bedroom session probably means your man was a bit too rough. Because breasts are sensitive, it may not take much to leave them tender or bruised. Caress them and appreciate their form. Cup them in both hands and softly embrace them. 78

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Your guy complains of lumpiness Some women have lumpier breasts than others, so it could just be the way your boobs are. But if he’s touching them the week before your period, the lumpiness is most likely a side effect of PMS when hormone changes swell breasts. Extra blood flows to the breasts tissue can leave your pair swollen with fluid making them feel heavier and more sensitive. This bump is totally benign and usually goes away post-period, so don’t worry yourself sick. Your guy wants you to linger on his nipples A man’s nipples are loaded with just as many nerves as a woman’s are, and they, too, deserve some love. According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , more than half of the men aged 17 to 29 surveyed reported that nipple stimulation not only enhanced their arousal but sparked it. That’s because, when they’re stroked, the muscles surrounding the headlights stiffen and blood vessels swell, creating a ripple effect that takes over the entire body. Don’t just wait for him to request hot-nip action. Take matters into your own hands. Show concern about the health of your precious pair Take good care of your pair. Protect them from steadily rising mercury levels and dry days. In most cases, problems are not only treatable but also entirely preventable. Remember, healthy breasts are an ideal investment for a newborn baby. Here are some tips: Daily soap them up in water Washing once a day and always after a workout with a gentle moisturising soap helps prevent breakouts which are caused by bacteria breeds in the sweat on your skin. Keep in mind, frequent application of soap has the opposite effect and can make the skin excessively dry and conducive to further damage. In addition to this, prevent the skin on and above your twins from becoming itchy and irritated. Keep them

hydrated with a fragrance-free, oilfree moisturi sing lotion after your morning shower and again before going to bed. Look and feel them over Make sure that you set aside time once a month after your bath or shower to give your pair a thorough once-over in a well-lit, full-length mirror. During the week after your period, when breast tissue is at its least dense, slowly glide your fingers over each breast and up into each armpit. Scan the skin on, under and between your boobs for new or different-looking moles, an unsightly mark or red patches that may be a precursor to infection or, in rare cases, skin cancer.

Knock out nipple upheavals during nursing Mild nipple discomfort at the beginning of feeding during the first few days of breastfeeding usually needs no treatment. When the baby’s mouth opens wide, the baby should be quickly pulled towards the breast so that the nipple and as much of the surrounding areola as possible is grasped by the baby. The best position is the one that is comfortable

Get them checked by your gyno yearly Don’t ever miss a yearly breast examination by your gyno. Give them some air Steadily rising mercury levels during summer mean that the area around your boobs will trap sweat and trigger growth of zit-producing bacteria and yeast. Banish blemishes by wearing thin, breathable tops made from natural fibres, such as 100-per-cent cotton. Inspect your bra collection after 6 months After wearing a bra at least a few times a week for several months, it loses elasticity, setting you up for breast pain and, or backaches. Never run without a sports bra Just a few minutes of excessive breast movement — brought on by running without a bra can irreversibly stretch your Cooper’s ligament. Once they’re stretched, your breast will sag and nothing can lift them, apart from surgery. Maintain your nipples dry It is imperative to keep the nipples dry. For nursing mothers, this can be done by gently patting the nipples dry with a clean cloth after nursing or by letting them air-dry for 15-20 minutes.

to the mother. Dry, sore and cracked nipples are important obstacles to the establishment of a smooth transition from the initiation of breastfeeding to the development of a confident and beaming mother-infant breastfeeding relationship. The availability of an emollient in the form of a lanolin USP is a boon in the field of lactation management since mothers and health professionals are comfortable with the use of such a safe and effective formulation. It helps soothe sore or cracked nipples by using the concept of ‘moist wound’ healing. A coloured discharge comes out of the nipples A yellow, greenish or white discharge is nothing to worry about. One likely cause: a harmless cyst that may drain out when you pinch your peak. Breast cysts are generally benign fluid collections in the breast tissue and are usually symptom-free unless very large and painful. If they are very large, bigger than 3 cm, they may be aspirated and the fluid sent for cytological examination. Another culprit could be a clogged milk duct, which usually goes away on its own. Woman’s Era

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Your breasts ache Aching twins are a sign of ovulatory cycles and not a cause of concern. It is caused by prosta glandins, hormone-like substances your system produces just before your period. Reduce prosta glandin levels by taking 400 IU of vitamin E per day. An over-the-counter painkiller can also help banish breast tenderness.

You have a reddish bump on your boob If the bump hasn’t changed size or colour since it appeared, chalk it up as a harmless skin change, like dilated blood vessels. But if it’s the size of a pencil eraser, contains two or more shades of red, or has a raised, jagged border, have it checked out by a dermatologist. Breast pain is not always cancerous Pre-menopausal and postmenopausal women experience a sensation of burning or stabbing frequently in the sub-areolar or medial area of the breast. This condition is called costochondritis. Breast pain is also common in pregnancy. Breast sagging makes you shy away from breastfeeding A new study indicates breast feeding won’t make a new mom’s breasts sag, but more babies might. The main factors that did affect sagging were age, smoking and the We number of pregnancies. 79

Beautiful! naturally

Subtle make-up strokes to make you look lovely and radiant just naturally.

After cleansing and moisturising apply Face and Body Illuminator (FB-1) on face for highlighting and glowing effect.

Model without make-up Use concealer from Cream Make-up Palette to conceal problematic areas and to give evenly tone to the skin.

Apply Coloressence loose powder and pancake to set the make-up.

Sweep mauve pink from Coloressence pearl eyeshades palette EP on the socket eyes and electric blue on outer corner. Highlight the brow bone with pearl white and inner corner with pearl white. Sweep electric blue eyeshade on the lower rim just like a liner. In order to fill up the gaps, sweep black eyeliner also very close to the eyelashes.

Contour the cheekbones with amber peach blusher. Highlight the jawline with satin beige blusher from Coloressence Trio blusher set.

Colour in the lips with maroon colour from Coloressence lip palette.

Use shimmer powder on face and neck for shimmering effect.

Wow, put your best face forward!

Use silver white with tints of mauve pink from Coloressence for the eye make-up. Highlight the inner corner with silver shimmer for a glam look.

She is just a stunning sensation!

Make-up: Nature’s Essence, Suneeti Soni, L-17A, Malviya Nagar, New Delhi. Ph: 011-26673045/65, Mob: 9899801623

HEALTH BENEFITS WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE

You can walk your way to health. By Sakina Maniar alking, the easiest exercise, can be done in any open space, at a suitably convenient time and at any age. It’s a wise investment for a healthier life, and requires no special equipment except a proper pair of light, comfortable, well-cushioned shoes. To keep fit and feel good, a 20-minute walk about four times a week can be easily incorporated in one’s normal schedule. Try to walk on a clear, even surface like an asphalt road instead of concrete pavement and take firm, even strides and swing your arms leaning slightly forwards from the ankles. Muscles of the legs are the largest and strongest of all muscles. They support body weight, maintain the

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posture and help the blood circulation. As legs move, the muscles squeeze the surrounding veins which force blood back effectively to the heart making it work better. Also, the dormant capillaries are roused that nourish the leg muscles. So a brisk walk stimulates development of blood vessels in the muscle tissue and makes legs shapely and strong. For a well-toned, agile body regular use of legs is essential. Make walking to nearby places a habit. Walk to the market, movies, mall, library and, if your workplace is not too far, then go on foot instead of waiting for the bus. Even if you have your own conveyance park it at some distance and walk up. Avoid the lift and take the stairs ascending and descending. Men have more muscle than fat on their bodies than women and as muscles burn more energy than do fat, they have a much lower tendency to put on weight. Most women have fat immediately under the skin and plump arms and heavy hips are stubborn trouble spots for a few of them. Due to poor blood circulation fat deposits occur in certain areas of the body. Putting movement in routine chores makes leg muscles flex easily and the pelvic saddle to swivel effortlessly. Wrong eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle slows down body metabolism. Exercise

plays a prominent part in fat loss and in intensifying metabolic activity of the body leading to effective burning of calories and maintaining a wellproportioned figures. A brisk walk for 15 minutes burns about 50 calories Moving rapidly up and down the stairs burns 60 calories Walking at a stretch for three miles burns 300 calories Lack of this easy exercise can add up to a kilogramme of weight in a month. Not just cutting calories but regular physical activity aids in weight reduction.

MAINSTAY ACTIVITY For most elderly, walking becomes a mainstay activity to enjoy the fresh open air and take in sunshine. It plays a crucial role in strengthening and toning most cells of the body and also does make many feel rejuvenated. The eyes become brighter, skin gets clearer and spirits soar higher. Try some bending and stretching movements before setting off for your walk. Increase distance and speed gradually but never go out late in the evening and in remote areas. While walking in the park or neighbourhood be certain that people known to you are around. Diabetics whose general circulation is poor are advised to walk

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FOR A WELLTONED, AGILE BODY REGULAR USE OF LEGS IS ESSENTIAL. MAKE WALKING TO NEARBY PLACES A HABIT. WALK TO THE MARKET, MOVIES, MALL AND LIBRARY. as much as they can to reduce their problems. Those who suffer from arthritis find walking gives them relief from knee and ankle pain. Alzheimer’s disease can be staved off as one stays mentally alert. The brain releases ‘endorphin’, a chemical that makes the mind strong and sharp, preventing the onset of dementia. After the age of 50, high blood pressure (hypertension) is much more in women than in men and tends to increase further as years pass by. This psychological situation is often caused by mental stress, financial and family problems, fear, loneliness and also negative emotions. But a brisk walk boosts stamina, enhances confidence, ensures better sleep, augments a cheerful disposition and within a few weeks, makes you feel a new person. In fact, nothing can be equated with fitness and even if the weather is wet, windy or cold, don’t cut back on this pleasant outdoor pursuit. For, by not finding time to exercise, you’ll have time for some illness. It was over 2,000 years ago that Hippocrates, father of medicine advocated: “All parts of the body which have a function, if used in moderation and exercised in labours in which each is accustomed, become thereby healthy, welldeveloped and age more slowly; but if unused they become liable to disease, get defective in growth and We age quickly.” 83

high-profile lyricist today that late Sahir’s song in Hum Dono (abhi na jaao chhodke) was a tender duet; in the opinion of this writer, Javed’s own song (ik ladki ko dekha to aisa laga) in the film 1942 – A Love Story was equally tender and popular. Javed gave almost a dozen smiles to describe a girl’s beauty, a feat unlikely to be surpassed. What do you say, Javed Sahib? elieve it or not Salman Khan has been credited with the story of Veer set in another era. Did he get some help or inputs from father Salim of Salim-Javed duo? Salman will also have a chance to flaunt his six pack abs of which he is so proud.

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kshay Kumar has taken a big leap forward both on the professional and personal fronts: in addition to being in the top league as

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riyanka Chopra who has bagged the best actor (female) Award for her performance in Fashion has come a long way in the last few years. A grateful young girl, she says “I owe this award to director Madhur Bhandarkar who was very persistent about his wanting me to do the film.”

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erhaps Sanjay Dutt was in a confused state of mind when he took the crucial decision of taking a plunge into politics. While one English daily quoted him saying that he will not contest against stalwart Atal Behari Vajpayee from Lucknow as he respects him as a father-figure, mother daily carried his photos

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rubbing shoulders with Ch. Amar Singh of Samajwadi Party. How and where the screenplay took a turn, as it happens in film scripts, only Sanjay knows? To make full use of his stardom, Samajwadi Party has decided to hold free shows of not only Sanjay Dutt starrers but also those of his father Sunil Dutt and mother, Nargis Dutt in some of the cinema halls of Lucknow. BJP’s response to this will be worth watching.

Sanjay Dutt with wife.

hereas one agrees with Javed Akhtar himself a

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Akbar have bagged the best actor awards, how could the captain of the team Ashutosh Gowarikar be left out in the cold? He bagged the Best Director Award. And rightly so.

an actor, on the personal fronts he organises Special Olympics every year for children suffering from one disability or the other. He’s running an organisation which looks after 5 lakh children! Laudable. He has also bagged the Most Popular Actor Award for his performance in Singh is Kinng. usic maestro A. R. Rahman has created history by becoming the first ever Indian composer to bag the golden Globe Award for his music in Slumdog Millionaire directed by Briton Danny Boyle. The film revolves around Dharavi (Mumbai), Asia’s biggest slum. Now that the film has been nominated for an Oscar in different categories including music, Rahman’s chances of bagging on Oscar have also improved. Good luck, Rahman.

veteran by now, Anil Kapoor has taken a global leap forward with his performance in Slumdog Millionaire as a TV host. After reaping rich harvest of praise in the USA. he visited a school in a remote hamlet in Bharatpur, Rajasthan, since he is the brand ambassador for the NGO supporting the cause of female children.

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t is indeed amazing that a lowbudget film titled A Wednesday (cost Rs 3.5 crore) gave a tough competition to lavishly mounted film Jodhaa Akbar (cost Rs 37 crore) not

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Music maestro A. R. Rahman.

only in nominations but also bagged the same Best film Award in the just concluded Nokia 15th Annual Star Screen Awards. But the moot point is, can there be two bests in any competition? hen both the hero and the heroine of the film, yes, Jodhaa

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Akshay Kumar has a golden heart. He is looking after 5 lakh disabled children.

trendsetter! A style icon! And an ace actress! A perfect combo of talent and style! Is Kareena Kapoor the queen of Bollywood! Besides back-to-back films that are keeping her busy and in the news, Kareena is the only actress that top companies are vying for their brand endorsements. The A-list companies want Kareena as their brand ambassador. Brand Bebo endorses as much as 12 brands at a time which itself speaks for her success. She has had a string of hits like Chameli, Dev, Omkara and finally she managed to win everyone's heart by performing great in Jab We Met sweeping away all the awards. The Rotary Club recently honoured Kareena with the Vocational Excellence Award for being the youngest achiever of the film industry by Bansi Dhurandhar Dist. Governor RI Dist. 3140. Bebo has already started the new year with a bang. She will receive the India Today Woman Award, 2009 for her contribution to the world of art and cinema..And guess who is she gonna receive the award from? Well, none other than Erin Brokovich! Erin Bro is an American legal clerk and environmental activist. Bebo is not only the highest paid but also the most in demand actress with her line -up of prestigious movies coming up like Raju Hirani's 3 Idiots, Rensil D' Silva's next (produced by Karan Johar), Kambakkht Ishq (the most awaited film of 2009), Main Aur Mrs Khanna

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and Agent Vinod . Name it and Kareena has it in her kitty, whether it is a list of A-grade projects under big banners, huge endorsements or modelling assignments, the actress is making hay while the sun shines!!! hile Hrithik Roshan has bagged the Best Actor Award for essaying the role of Akbar in Jodhaa Akbar, Aishwarya Rai bagged the most popular actor (Female) Award for her performance in the same film.

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anna know how film-maker Rakesh Roshan may have hit upon the title Kites (making brisk progress) for his son’s starrer. Rakesh has a fixation for titles beginning with the letter ‘K’. Proof? A few of his earlier films are: Khudgarz, Kaho Na Pyar Hai and Krrish. Kites also stars American beauty Barbara Mori and Kangana Ranut.

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aima Sen, the granddaughter of legendary Bengali beauty and actress Suchitra Sen will soon be seen sharing space with Amitabh Bachchan in Teen Patti being made by Leena Yadav.

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ollywood's charming and dimpled beauty Preity Zinta celebrated her birthday recently…but in a unique way. Preity has always been known to lend a helping hand to social matters. This time around too she had a list of priorities ----she will support a campaign called Light a Billion Lights where one can sponsor electricity to a whole village in India. This electricity will be generated by using solar energy. This campaign is the India's first 24 -hour Greenathon where one can sponsor electricity through solar energy. She also feels that we as citizens of India should stop thinking about social matters and start implementing them in our own way rather than depending on others. One major problem she feels, is that as citizens of Mumbai, we need to confront the problem of illegal immigrants especially after Slumdog Millionaire, Mumbai or rather India will be portrayed as a slum altogether. She also wants to sponsor education to underprivileged children.

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Hrithik Roshan bagged Best Actor Award in Jodha Akbar.

hile on Amitabh, one cannot help wondering how he has been left out in the Nokia Screen awards. His daughter-in-law Ash has bagged the Most Popular Actor (female) award and son Abhishek shares the award with John Abraham for their performance in Dostana. Couldn’t he be considered for a Lifetime Achievement award, or does he think he’s rather young for that award?

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Abhishek with wife Aishwarya Rai – winning laurels.

ne can well imagine how thrilled Dharmendra must have been when he inter-acted with the Rotarians during his recent visit to Jaipur. When he was talking to them, a few young Rotarians started dancing and singing his song from Pratigya: Jat Yamla Pagla Deewana.

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t’s indeed good news that Tabu, the winner of a National award, will be back to Mumbai, albeit temporarily, to work in Tips’ Toh Baat Pakki. The film is a romantic comedy to be directed by Marathi director Kedar Shinde.

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t is the need of the hour today to fight back terrorism by spreading the message of peace and nonviolence to one and all. With this in mind and also in honour of Gandhi’s death anniversary, Shemaroo Entertainment added to its History Series a DVD titled ‘The Path of NonViolence – with Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. This title features documentaries on Gandhi and Mandela, who have

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been the unanimous messangers of peace and non -violence. Shemaroo has exclusively licensed this content, from American Institute of Education, for release on the home video format. eil Nitin Mukesh (the grandson of singer Mukesh, of Awaara Hoon fame) who made quite an impression in Johnny Gaddar is surely forging ahead. He’s working in many films including Yash Raj’s film New York. He recently shot for the film in New York with Katrina Kaif.

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jay Devgan has moved home…..Well, no not permanently…but the actor has shifted base to his farmhouse in Karjat for a brief period of time. Ajay who is shooting for Vipul Shah's London Dreams at the ND Studio in Karjat, thought it better to remain closer to the location. We wonder if Salman Khan also plans to do somewhat the same considering his little abode is not too far away in Panvel. Hrithik Roshan probably wished he himself owned a farmhouse in Karjat, which would have spared him all the hectic (and expensive) chopper tours during his shooting of Jodha Akbar.

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ove thy neighbour… that is the new mantra for the year from NDTV Imagine.--- from Friday to Sunday every week at 9:30 p.m. as NDTV Imagine and Shah Rukh Khan’s Red Chillies Idiot Box presents Ghar Ki Baat Hai, an irreverent, roller-coaster ride of humour, fun and interesting takes on everyday life. Ghar Ki Baat Hai marks the debut of Red Chillies Idiot Box on to the small screen.

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Greetings. In fact, Amrita reminded Nandana of Goldie Hawn. "Amrita's oomph brought Goldie Hawn's earlier roles to my mind. Amu is totally chilled out and fun to work with--and not at all like the imperious diva she plays in the film! As for me, I play this simple girl –next- door whose nose is buried in a book, but she has an open heart and an uncontrollably wild side," said Nandana Sen. o work professionally as a composer and singer may be easy in words but not many could do it as well as Mithoon Sharma, the power behind *'Maula Mere Maula'* from *Anwar* and *'Aadat'* from *Kalyug*. The wiz kid started composing and arranging at the ripe age of sixteen and today, at twenty two he is almost on the threshold of releasing his first non-filmy music album--- Tu Hi Mere Rab Ki Tarah Hai with T Series' Gulshan Kumar. Mithoon says, "Tu Hi Mere Rab Ki Tarah Hai is my first fullfledged non-film album as a composer and singer. Mithoon has always been crossing boundaries in quest of good music; he now has gone all the way

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Neil Nitin Mukesh is making waves in the film industry.

Ajay Devgan shifted closer to the location for the shooting of ‘London Dreams’.

ill now one had only heard about cat fights between two actors especially when it came to the lesser species. But there's some maha female bonding happening between Nandana Sen and Amrita Arora on the sets of Seasons

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innovation, professionalism touching people's heart."

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ctors never like being asked what their dream role is because it's so hard for them to choose just one. But ask Sophie right now and pat comes the reply. She is dying to play the role of Noor Inayat Khan .Sophie says she is incredibly inspired and moved by this story .Considering Sophie has lived and studied in Paris, has even done a thesis on women in the French resistance and is very passionate about this role, which she has studied in depth, we think she would be fantastic for the part …..Quite frankly we couldn't think of a more perfect lady to play the spy princess. (We hear Shyam Benegal is planning to make a documentary and seriously thinks he needs to look no further than Sophie to play Noor).

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Mugdha Godse is in filmy ‘Jail’.

to the United Kingdom to rope in musicians! Mithoon has worked with musicians of the famous Philharmonic Orchestra.

ikram Bhatt rang in his 40th birthday (Jan 27) with his daughter Krishna. A source close to the director said, "It was Krishna's surprise treat for her father. She had organised it out of her pocket money. The two had a private dinner at Sun N Sand." Krishna had lovingly arranged for Vikram's favourite dishes. On his birthday, the gifts that Vikram has been flooded with are Ganpati idols and the Bhagvad Gita. "I am on spiritual journey and all my friends have gifted me an idol of Ganesh and the Bhagvad Gita. They want me to take sanyas," he laughs.

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ugdha Godse is completely focused on her next film 'Jail' opposite Neil Nitin Mukesh directed by mentor Madhur Bhandarkar. The leggy lass' effortless debut performance impressed everyone including the director so much so that he cast her again in his forthcoming film Jail.

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hahid is an enthusiastic bike lover…..recently he got himself a new bike. Not many know that the younger icon of India got this bike only after his parents allowed him to do so. And for that he had to assure them that he would ride safely! "Shahid loves biking. When he was shooting with Ahmed Khan for Ishq Vishk Pyar Vyar, Shahid would go with him for long bike rides along the Western Express highway. And now, he has gifted himself a new bike but only after his parent’s approval. Shahid's new bike is a midnight black, air cooled, sportsbike with high torque speed and 1670cc machine, costing around Rs. 15 lakh..He chose black as he doesn't like anything bright, flashy and over the top but rather classy, understated and subtle

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hemaroo Entertainment launched ‘Rhyme Time in Toyland’ DVD at the Toddlers Activity Centre (TAC), recently. Raell Padamsee, veteran theatre personality and actress Perizaad Zorabian unveiled the DVD, along with Ananya Vij, the child actress of the film. Children and parents from the Toddlers Activity Centre were present at the launch and enjoyed the screening of the film, followed by a unique Musical Minis workshop conducted by TAC. – Deepak Puri & Sudha Hariharan.

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Shahid loves sports bike.

stuff. He is very possessive about it and insists on cleaning it himself,” a close friend revealed. Recently, he was in the capital to announce his association with one of the biggest brands-- Pioneer. Says Shahid, "I have always felt the need to attach myself to brands that exemplify the core values that I try to live up to in everyday life - growth, Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

FLAUNT

IT WHEN YOU HAVE IT inally a website that attempts to break age old adage ‘You have it. You flaunt it.’ to widen it to ‘You have it more. You flaunt it better’ Bringing this thinking to life is a revolutionary portal, www.overweightshaadi.com. Brainchild of two sisters, Aditi Gupta and Megha Singhal, overweightshaadi.com is a humble attempt to help the plus sized find their life partners. Obesity previously seen essen tially as a western phenomenon has caught up with India as well. Go to any typical Indian household with a girl of marriageable age and you will find that all her aunts and family members would be pestering her to ‘lose’ her weight if she wants to get a good match for herself. So is it impossible for the overweight to find their ‘happily ever after?’ “Not any more!” Says Aditi Gupta, founder of overweightshaadi.com a matrimonial portal that promises to deliver king-size romance to the overweight men and women. With this belief emerged overweightshaadi.com, targeting

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thousands of plus size people who are hard pressed to find their life partners. Launched in October 2008, this website has brought 500 people all across the globe in touch with each other leading to two pairings. The response has been overwhelming. From Delhi to Mumbai, UK to USA and from UAE to Brazil, overweight people from all Woman’s Era

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The concept of beauty is no longer weighed down in our country, despite your being stout and sturdy. across the globe are warming up to the idea of finding romance online. Registration is free for everyone. Using this basic membership, members can create their overweightshaadi.com profile and upload their photographs. They can be online in minutes and can search for suitable profiles and express interest in them. For more facilities, premium membership options are available. Premium members can send personal messages to other members and view their validated contact numbers as well. “Verification of members is very important,” says The site has equal number of registered men and women. “If not all women are size zero then not all men have eight pack abs either. The problem is the same across both genders. When they register on our website, their weight is no longer a stigma. That's why people ranging from plump to obese register with We us,” says Aditi. 89

REJUVENATE

f your flame of passion has decreased to a few burning embers: don’t get discouraged because even a little spark can become a bushfire. The truth is however much you love your husband, wife, the long-time monogamous couples fall into a situation where lovemaking can become stale. But being in twenty-first century with lots of stress and so many temptations and titillations around you have to jerk yourself to keep the sexuality of your relationship alive. The spirit of adventure and experimental attitude could make a person look around to fantasise or... (lose him/her). Before you face such a situation you must understand that intimacy being together overtime makes lovemaking satisfying but takes away the mystery unknown and you slip into lazy cosy comfort zone. Lovemaking becomes a routine: a Saturday night special are a quickie now and then the same bed, same music, the same song and dance. Thus, the excitement of making love withers away. You have to devise new ways of making love and bring mystery of unknown of the initial time of

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SEX LIFE A seven-step makeover to perk up your intimate love-life. By Aruna Anand

lovemaking in your relationship (when just got married) when both of you had expectation, eagerness and excitement. So to revive the same, we suggest seven-step makeover to perk up your intimate love-life.

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To keep the love and relationship alive between two people Kahlil Gibran says, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heavens dance between you”. So very right by the deliberated space created between couples makes the hearts grow fonder – the conscious decision is to deny sex for a certain period (decide mutually), otherwise no is a very strong word – so make sure no one of you feels rejected, cold – shouldered or unappreciated. Otherwise you will be heading in different directions. Instead of just saying no you can offer sensual alternative to intercourse. i.e. “No, but I would like to kiss you.” “No, but I would really love lying with you and talking.” The idea is to say no with love. There is a huge difference between when you don’t have sex by choice and when you face the sexual denial. In the first incident it will go unnoticed, so it doesn’t matter but

when it is denied it has the power to enhance the sexual excitement and feeling of desire and love. When you are longing for your partner it is a very emotional state of mind. Abstaining from sex for some time augments passion and by the time denial period is over the excitement and anticipation reaches its peak to light up your sexual fire with fresh verve and enthusiasm.

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In long-term relationship, sex needs extra effort to keep it new, so use your imagination. Don’t assume that since you have partner you can stop grooming yourself. Exercise to keep yourself in shape and dress nicely. Your feel-good hormones will keep you healthy and happy. For special nights with your partner think what’s your attire tonight: sexy lingerie, dirty talk, moans and groans. Purpose is to tease and please each other. French knickers, G strings, lacy garments are some of the things to put you in mood. One idea could be to wear any beautiful dress on top of your sexy inner garments. Start your foreplay with clothes on as the passion fever rises, peel off your clothes or remove each other’s dress to reveal the natural you. You could devise new ways to make your sexual pleasure a delight to keep the feeling of ecstasy pulsating.

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Create an ambience to heighten your sexual urge. Soothing atmos phere to erase stress can be developed with satin sheets, candles, aroma potpourri perfumes, flowers feathers to tickle, chocolates, ice creams, honey, erotic movies are some of the things which can pump up the libido. Perfumed massage oils, vibrator are said to be great soothers and exciters. Soft music playing in the background and candle-light dinner could be your beginning point – so just don’t despair anymore, experiment with all these props and get started with your passion play with lots of imagination and sexual dreams.

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Don’t get into wham-bam-over routine of sex. Intercourse should not be the only goal between couples.

Sex is supposed to be romantic and sensuous. Concentrate on your sensations, feel the pleasure of touching each other all over. Caressing, kissing are some of the ways to excitement. And explore the areas which have maximum passionate possibilities. Even if you feel it is funny don’t bother but make sure you don’t laugh at each other. Rather laugh with each other. It would be fun because sex in fun you should enjoy it, love it.

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Teasing your partner while touching can really boost the desire to have more and more You can tantalise at every step of the sexual session, savour each sensation of your body to get optimum pleasure. Titillation could be oral or manual, the aim is to stimulate. Don’t hurry up in the frenzy of your desire to move on fast. Take time, go slow, very slow. While teasing each other you will come to know your pleasure points and moan zones which would give you the monogamy advantage for better sex life.

good initiators and stimulators during the sexual sessions but some of oils can create holes in the condoms. Check or replace the condom before final insertion. If imported sex-toys are being used always soap-wash and clean them before your passion-play to protect yourself from the seminal and vaginal fluid left on the toys during your previous session. The lubrication gels and creams used during the act can cause allergies to your internal body parts if the chemicals don’t suit the skin. Have a patch test, apply little lubricant on the forearm or inside of your elbow. Leave it on for an hour, if there is any adverse effect i.e. itching, redness or brightening of the skin avoid the use of this cream. Go ahead and enjoy if it agrees with your skin. It is always better to play safe rather than facing any discomfort after having great sex.

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Now comes the time to interconnect and enter. An American sex researcher says, “Mostly couples No doubt everyone is getting more close their eyes which blocks out the and more conscious of the final sensations but the enjoyment temptations and flirtation available all gets manifold stirred if the partners around and ready to explore and get blindfold each other turn by turn.” adventurous in bed. India has given Kama Sutra to the Whatever type may world. The erotic sculptures be your relationship long of our Ajanta Ellora and and steady or the Khajuraho caves are still shorter one. Hold on a relevant in the world of YOU HAVE TO pleasure. moment and find out the Skills of do’s and don’t about seduction reveal the DEVISE NEW using different props forbidden desires. WAYS OF during you sexual And what you desire session. MAKING LOVE you cannot resist. Once Ice creams, chocoyour sexual desire is AND BRING reawakened your fantasies lates and honey, etc. offer great fun and MYSTERY OF come true to pleasing stimulation during the UNKNOWN satisfaction. foreplay of your passion You don’t have to be session. Sprinkle – lick OF THE INITIAL fully guided by the Kama or smear-lick off or just Sutra postures. Follow your TIME OF tease-eating provide heart and mutual exciting sensation. LOVEMAKING comfortable position. But be careful, never Don’t get hooked to one IN YOUR stuff anything eatable in posture of making love, RELATIONSHIP. experiment and play the vaginal tissue and cause bacterial infection. with different styles and We Massage oils are the angles.

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About the artist Name: Biplab Biswas Born: 12 July, 1957 (Kolkata) Education: Diploma in fine arts in 1980 from Indian College of Art and Draftsmanship under Rabindra Bharati University. Teacher’s training of art in 1981 from Calcutta University.

Solo shows 2006: An exhibition of paintings at Lokakat Art Gallery, Delhi. 1997: Technology, Pilani, Rajasthan. 1987: Britania Engineering Company, Kolkata, in 1987, Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata. 1982: Exhibition of paintings at Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata.

Group shows 2007 at Shanta Art Gallery, Delhi. 2006-07 at Krishna Collection Art Gallery, Delhi. 2002 at Lalit Kala Academy, New Delhi. 1979-80-82, at Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata. 1979-82-84, at Birla Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata. India Habitat Centre, Lodhi Road, New Delhi

Awards 1978 : Annual exhibition in Indian College of Arts & Draftsmanship, Kolkata. Workshop: Painting woodcut etching linocut organised by Birla Academy, Kolkata. Lokakat Art Gallery, Delhi.

Participation 1980-90 : All India Fine Arts Annual Exhibition, Kolkata. 1980- 90 : Birla Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata.

Experience 15 Years illustrations work, lots of magazines, papers, calendars, etc.

Collections Indian Oil Petroleum Corporation Jeevan Beema Nigam Office, Kolkata. P.D. Advertisement Agency, Kolkata. Monar Hotel LImited, Kolkata. Bangalore, Haryana, Vadodara, Ujjain, France, Delhi, Kolkata, Mumbai

ABSOLUTE NARRATIVE through faceless dimensions The artist believes that “art and time are synonyms with each other”. By Our Correspondent ine-drawn lines, graphic linearity, realistic touches etched by the lines, give the art works of Biplab Biswas a resplendent outlay, couched at times, in an arousal of curiosity. After all, what is it that these images of men and women, so close and yet so severely demarcated by dividing lines, are trying to convey? The answer lies in a voyage of discovery, about the portrayal of femininity, under the guidance of Biplab Biswas.

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What is the essence of thought that lies behind your varied portrayals of feminine forms, since they range from front-face depictions to faceless creations? I am drawn towards womanly forms in art, but I portray them with incomplete facial features, or even totally faceless forms.

The ‘women without a face’ depictions evoke mythical goddesses of matchless beauty who today become epitomes of the contemporary Indian woman. The more angular and direct portrayals are pictorial and relate to a rural construct.

What about the woman of today, living in our cities and are mothers, daughters, sisters and wives? These are symbols of domesticity and become powerful metaphors, sometimes tweaked to create mirages of bliss and satisfaction, whose actual plight is hidden in the folds of the mind’s eye, and which can be unearthed only through a tryst with romanticism. What do you actually want to portray by making the woman figure in your art an emblem of romanticism? Without being romantic

Femininity relating to a rural construct.

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himself, no artist can draw hearttouching, soul searching, natural paintings. An artist must have a strong visualisation, as well as a soft, sensitive heart. To bring in all these diverse elements on the canvas is what is meant by romanticism, according to my understanding.

In more conventional terms, nature is regarded as the cradle of romanticism. Does this view relate to your concept of womanly romanticism? Of course: nature is itself a great artist. In the manner of a great artist, nature has been drawing great sketches on the canvas of this earth and filling it with marvelous colours. Just see the composition of the clouds; the shape of trees; the peaks of mountains and the curves made by the wind on unending sand dunes. Finally, come to the woman in this surrounding and you will realise that she is a symbol of matchless craftsmanship divine. She is blessed with a number of virtues, like tolerance, creativity, passion, innocence, beauty and a sense of humour, too. You seem to be transfixed to a time of mythical belief about the creation of our earth. How do you depict the fast pace of our world of today, when you are transfixed with notions of romanticism, womanly virtues and so on? For me, art has no time limits. In fact, art and time are synonymous with each other. An artistic creation tells you about the moment of its creation. A deft artist captures and visualises the exact moment of creativity on his canvas and if one

sees the work very carefully, one can imbibe that inner feeling captured momentarily, through one’s own feelings, moods and sensibility.

Tell us something about your works in the context of your philosophy. Painting is a divine experience and through it I portray my strong imagination. I have not chosen a specific medium. My works are in realistic, semi-realistic and nonrealistic figurative styles. I have not limited myself to paintings. I do sculpting also. I am inspired by the feminism very much. In almost all my paintings you can almost witness a little touch of feminism. When did you first discover your artistic talent? Sorry, I am unable to recall it. How do you choose a subject? I draw my subjects from real life and events happening around me. Sometimes, I get ideas in my dreams also. Tell us something about your struggle. I don’t know what it means and how to do it. I think there must be one definition of struggle. Look, you do your work with your best effort and leave the rest to viewers. If you are an artist, you struggle till the end of your life. How do you see yourself progressing in this field? I pour my creative thoughts out on canvas. My fans come and buy it at my price. I am happy with that. I do not aspire to be a great artist, but I want to leave a mark on the enchanting world of art. I feel I have lived well if I have touched your soul with my creations and that alone is the driving force and goal of my artisticity. Who is your inspiration? Anything or any work well crafted or attractive is my inspiration. It can be the marks left on the shore of the We sea by its swirling water.

n a first look, Bhaskar Singha’s canvases wear a soft, gossamerlike imagery, that transform visual structures into relationships between nature and woman. For him, the woman in his art works is the symbol of nature and nature in the works is a way of depicting the many manifestations of the air around us. In his personal contention, the air that influences our lives, is not ‘seen’ by the naked eye. But each one of us feels the air, particularly its power, when it manifests itself as a violent storm, a cyclone or even a gentle breeze. In all these forms it mirrors the feelings of a woman, he feels, the feelings that range from fear, violence, or sheer joy, evident in the form of breeziness. Adding to the air of mystique that envelope his canvases is Singha’s use of colour. The light blue merging with vermilion, the sinuous forms, the emblematic lotus and the ascetic garb of the monks, enhance this overlay. Life seems to emerge from behind a tracery of dragonfly wings, where texture and colour applications cease to be technique and become a way of expressing the narrative behind the painting. In yet another metamorphosis, Bhaskar Singha has used contemporary cinema, particularly the

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CATCHING

AIR WITH A BRUSH

An artist who depicts characters from films of a world-renowned movie-maker. By Our Correspondent

films of Satyajit Ray’s classics, as the basis of his art. Productions like Charulata and Apu’s Sansar hold special meaning as Apu grows from boyhood to manhood in a series of his canvases. These aspects of vibrant imagery and translucent colour applications have made his works acquire a sensibility that few others can achieve on their canvases. Excerpts from an interview: You chose Satyajit Ray’s movies as you subject. Are’nt you scared of critics? Everyone takes inspiration from somewhere like landscape, construction, feelings and other

Resisting a violent storm to save himself from any harm coming his way.

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Your works you say, are energised by air. How do you personify air in your work? Air is life. It is power and much more powerful. It gives life and can also ruin existence. I took air as the theme of my works. In my paintings you can clearly see how man resists violent air in order to save himself and go ahead. My paintings also imbibe fire and rays. These are all forms of energy. When they are normal life flourishes. But massiveness of air, fire, rays creates a calamity and destroys life. It has a great message for society. Another set of works is on characters in Satyajit Ray’s movies. What angle in these inovies inspires you to work on them? Mr Ray’s movies and the actors of those movies are excellent. The world knows it and has seen it. But only a few people work on them. Artists take inspiration from somewhere. Some take it from a woman running down the street, and some from a child playing in mud. I took my inspiration from Charulata and Apu, who runs away from her home to see the train passing by the very first time in his life. The expression is distinct uncommon. So I portrayed Apu with my brush.

sources. If one mulls over an excellent film-maker’s movies and works on the characters from the movie, then what’s wrong. I don’t think my work is criticised in a wrong way, and I don’t fear the critics. Critics are essential, but must be fair as well. Excerpts from an interview:

How were you attracted to art? I got art naturally in inheritance. My father was an amateur artist. In tiny childhood days I would do carvings on wood after returning from school. While most of my friends used to play on ground I played with wood and wall. Later, I started drawing and putting exact dimensions of the things that I liked to put on paper with the help of pencil and sketch pen. As my aged relatives say I was master in depicting anyone with feelings on paper. Later, I received art education profe ssionally from Rabindra Bharti University in Kolkata. Woman’s Era

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Besides painting what else do you do? I am a teacher, a father and a husband. And these all are important as well. I teach fine art in DAV School in Delhi and many subjects to my children at home. What is on the easel taking shape for the future? I have a plan to do an enthusiastic work on Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore’s short stories. I am fond of Gurudev’s literature and willing to give visuals to them. It is my dream. But the coming days are for my ray based works to be released. The Exhibition of my paintings is scheduled at Studio Vasant, Hauz Khas Village in Delhi, from 23 to 29 We March, 2009. 97

About the Artist Name: Harish Srivastava Phone: 9811560442 Qualification: Graduated from Meerut University, National Diploma in applied art from College of Art, New Delhi, 1970; art master’s training from College of Art & Crafts, Lucknow, 1960. Solo Shows Sridharni Gallery New Delhi-1973; Taj Gallery Bombay 1990; Juneja Art Gallery, Jaipur in 2001; Krishna’s Collection & Art Gallery, New Delhi in 2000; Jehangir Art Gallery Mumbai-1985, 86, 87; Dhoomimal Gallery, New Delhi1989; Aurobindo Gallery, New Delhi. Indo-Russian at Russian Centre New Delhi-1999. Bajaj Gallery, Mumbai-2003, LKA, New Delhi2003; Nehru Centre, Mumbai-2003, P.S.K. New Delhi-2005, Greenwood Art Gallery, New Delhi-2006, IndoKorean Artists Exhibition at AIFACS-2006 and many shows... All India Sr Artists Camps at Patna, Port Blair, Patnitop, Hyderabad, Maharani Bagh, S.K.Parishad, Dhoomimal City Gallery, Art Mall Orissa National Camp 2008 Awards National Awards of LKA in 1980; AIFACS, New Delhi, 1983; All India Exhibition of Shilpa Kala Parishad, Patna, 1981; All India Exhibition of Orissa LKA in 1980, Annual Exhibition of Sahitya Kala Parishad, Delhi, 1986; Sr Fellowship by Deptt. of Culture – Government of India. He is ex-deputy sec. (prog.) of LKA, ND., ex-asstt. Sec. of S.K. Parishad, ND., ex-vice president, India – Soviet Nikolai Art Club, New Delhi.

THE MAESTRO OF

MOUNTAINSCAPES An artist’s tryst with nature.

f you’ve never had a chance to visit the lofty mountains, then just make it a point to visit a showing of the works of artist Harish Srivastava. This eminent artist has perfected the art of making mountains in such a spectacular manner, that the original Himalayas, after which they are fashioned, begin to pay a thumping salute to his creativity. For decades now, this leading master of Indian art, has been having an ‘affair’ with the Himalayas. His everlasting romance with the mountains is as much as 35 years, starting off with his first exhibition in Jaipur, which set critics on the roll and which made him an instant favourite with the art-loving public. The magic he creates amongst the ranges is worth appreciating. The oil painting of Harish Srivastava conforms to his special feelings and attachment for the mountains, as they vibrate with bright shades. Both as a painter and as a human being, he seems to be fascinated by the majestic beauty of the mountains. The beauty of the panoramic views are enchanting and create a

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By Puja Sharma

sense of joy and pleasure to the eyes, with their juxtaposition of colours like greys and blacks, with reds and yellows, and also greens and lemon. His palette is clean. He does not use a wide pallete, as most of the colours are repeated on different canvases. Such a controlled palette allows him to have a unified experience. There is controlled energy at work since each stroke finds its rightful place in the overall appearance. Despite this rigour executed during the work, there is no hint of a limited ambience in the mountainscapes. The forms that appear in the paintings convey the movement in the art works to the viewer. It can be seen in the snow as grey and white, or the rippling waves of the sea in light and darker blue shades, the deep shades of brown for the land. His strokes overlap in a particular movement and sometimes, interruptions in the motion are also visible. He uses fresh colours spread over large areas resulting in the forming of sweeping lines of mountain peaks. The red at the bottom areas of the landscapes is a

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99 Magic in Mountains – The range by Harish Srivastava.

altogether.” He further says, “I visit hill stations to draw a sketch of the mountains and ambience around them and then return home.” Even at this age he devotes at least four to five hours daily in the early mornings to his work. He says the more he works the younger he feels as it gives him new energy and satisfaction in life. He has guided many upcoming artists in all respects and included them in camps, shows and exhibitions co-ordinated by him, providing them with a platform in the field of art. His advice is to keep working to get along in this field. Some day, he assures, a day of perfection will be felt by the pursuer of art. Presently he is working as a co-ordinator of Art We Mall in Delhi.

very dramatic contrast to it. The water colour technique of his earlier years is unique in the sense that he maintained the transparency of the colour and managed his texture variation with deft handling of the wash technique. Harish Srivastava’s love for the mountain is so deep that one can fathom a mountain view even in an ordinary conversation with him. He says: “The mountain with the yellow hue looks different at noon, while the same mountains with the sun setting behind them give a different view 100

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QA &

Q

I am 30 years old and I had an arranged marriage six years ago. My husband is a good man and we get along well. Last year a man of about my own age was transferred to the branch where I work. We became friends and soon I realised that he had fallen head over heels in love with me. Now I find myself being drawn to him. No, I am not in love with him and I know that my husband is a better man in every way. But I like the feeling of being loved! I have no children. Should I divorce my husband and marry this man?

I am a married, 30-year-old woman with two children. My husband is 34 years old. I am a full-time homemaker. We have a big house and some months ago, I got the idea of letting out the front portion to a tenant. I then found a woman who wanted a portion such as we had to offer. The woman was attractive, warm and friendly and frankly told me that she had left her husband because he beat her. She said that she was a fashion designer and that she would open a boutique in the hall opening onto the street. I let her have the portion and she promptly paid me a year’s rent in advance. But I am now regretting what I did because my husband has fallen head over heels in love with our tenant. He often went to visit her in her boutique and even started helping her in transporting materials, etc. Finally, he told me that he loved her and that he was going to try and get her as his mistress. When I created a scene and reminded him about his children, he gave in and told me that he would never talk to her again. He also told me to tell the woman to leave. I am heartbroken and am not sure whether I can ever trust my husband

again. But I feel that it is unfair to ask the woman to leave when she has paid me in advance and has spent a lot of money setting up her boutique. What should I do? Your anguish is understandable, but you have to get on with your life. You may take a long time to learn to trust your husband again, but you have to give him a chance for the sake of your children and because you are not financially independent. Again, though your husband might have the best of intentions as far as forgetting the woman and being true to his family is concerned, it is better that he doesn’t face temptation. So speak to the woman and tell her the truth. She may then herself think that it is better to leave. However, she may also refuse to leave on the grounds that she has paid you in advance and spent money setting up her boutique. You can then do nothing except keep an eye on your husband. You should also provide him with a loving family atmosphere so that he is not tempted to stray. Be friendly with the woman if she stays so that she stays loyal to you.

I am a Muslim girl aged 22. In our community it is common for cousins to marry and since I was a child I was told that I would marry a cousin who is five years older than I am and who lives next door to my family. As a Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

Since you had an arranged marriage, you didn’t enjoy the thrill of falling in love, realising that the man you loved, loved you, being courted, receiving a proposal and dreaming of married bliss with the man you loved. This is why you are being carried away by the love this colleague has for you. You say that you don’t love this man and that your husband is a better man in every way. Will you then give up a better man for a man you don’t love and cause an upheaval in two families, just for the high that being loved romantically gives you? Think it over and take a mature decision. result, I fell in love with him as I grew up. I declared my love for him to him four years ago. At that time, he told me that he loved me too and that he would marry me when he was settled in life. But since then, he has had many girlfriends and written them passionate e-mails and met them. I know this because I know his password and access his e-mail account when he is not at home. When I confront him he always apologises and says that he will not have any more girlfriends, but when I go into his email account, I invariably see sexy and passion-filled mails. My cousin continues to say that he will marry me. But I am not sure. Should I tell his mother (my aunt) about his affairs and ask her to get us married right away? Parents make a very serious mistake when they put ideas about love and marriage into young and impressionable minds. It is probable that you and your cousin “fell in love” only because you were told that you would be getting married. In your case the love was deeper, perhaps because you were younger than your cousin, but in his case, the “love” was brought about by a sense of duty rather than by true attraction. This is why your cousin is behaving like any man of his age would and has girlfriends whom he is attracted to. There is really nothing wrong in his behaviour. 101

QA &

You must accept that your cousin is not really in love with you, at least at present. He only says that he will marry you because of a sense of family duty. You should not complain about him and force him into a marriage because it may then not be a happy one. Instead, stop nagging him and go on with your life. Study, pursue your interests and work if you want to. Leave marriage for the future – whether it is marriage to your cousin or to someone else.

I am 25 years old and am in love with a man slightly younger than I am. We plan to get married. My problem is that this man is very lazy. He has a fairly good job and though he claims to be ambitious, I do not see him working harder than is necessary or planning how to achieve his ambitions. I myself am hard-working and ambitious and I don’t think that I can be happy with an indolent man who does not try to achieve anything in life. What should I do? Can I change this man? People can and do change, but it is usually because they want to – not because someone tries to make them change. So do not pin your hopes on changing this man and making him a dynamic achiever. You are more likely to make him angry and resentful. This means that you should not continue your relationship unless you can accept him as he is. Only then can you both be happy. Of course, this does not mean that the man will not wake up and change – perhaps that will be when he has the responsibility of a wife and child.

My seven-year-old son has great difficulty with writing and spelling, though he seems to understand things all right. He also has a very short attention span. His teachers are fast getting fed up with him. Should I change his school? The attitude of his teachers is having a negative impact on him. Unless your son’s problems with writing, spelling and concentration are dealt with, changing schools will not help. Your son may be dyslexic because dyslexics have the kind of problems he is having. So get him assessed by an educator who has specialised in this area. All our metros and big cities have centres for dyslexics and your paediatrician will be able to help you find a specialist. If he is diagnosed as dyslexic, your son will need special help either part-time (before or after school) or full-time (leaving school for some time) to sort out his problem. He can then proceed with his education. Many great and successful people were or are dyslexics. These include Einstein and Tom Cruise. So don’t worry.

I am 23 years old and I tend to get obsessed with whatever I become interested or involved in, whether this is cleaning the house or playing computer games. I feel that I am wasting my time. What can I do to get over this habit of mine? People who become obsessed with things generally have a psychological reason for doing so. So, do some introspection and see if there is anything which is causing you pain or fear, making you feel inadequate and incomplete or giving you a sense of loss. This could be

something that happened in your childhood. If you understand what this is and come to terms with it, you will stop obsessing about things. If you are not able to do this on your own or you feel that your obsessions are growing stronger, you need to see a counsellor or psychiatrist.

My father is very domineering and I have always had a problem with this. When I was a child and teenager I got angry but kept my feelings to myself out of respect for him. But now I am 27 and have a good job and I am rebelling much more. As a result we have huge fights. I am engaged to get married (it is a love marriage) and my mother tells me that since I am a woman, I must learn to control my tongue. Now I have suddenly become scared. What if my husband turns out to be like my father? Since yours is a love marriage, surely you have got to know your future husband well? Or have you been seeing him through rosecoloured spectacles because of your love for him? If the second is the case, take a deep breath and try to see your fiancé as he really is. See how he deals with disagreement and whether he always likes to have his own way whether it is choosing which movie to see or which cuisine to have on a date. If you decide that he is domineering, talk to him and then take a decision on whether you want to go ahead with the marriage. Remember that it is a proven fact that girls tend to choose men very like their fathers while men tend to choose wives like their mothers.

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with and comfortable with each other. Quite different to this performance was the solo dance performed by Dr Ileana Chitaristi. She is a classical Indian dancer and did an Odissi performance at the Epicentre in Gurgaon. Ileana is a Padmashree and a doctorate in Eastern Mythology and Psychoanalysis. She has been living in Orissa since 1979 and is a disciple of Kelucharan Mohapatra. In the past few years Ileana has performed almost at all major festivals in India and also in Italy, Argentina, Poland, France, Germany, Holland, Denmark, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Japan, USA, Australia, Israel, Canada and South Korea. In Bhubaneswar Ileana is imparting training in Odissi and Chhau dances to local as well as visiting students in her own institution ‘Art Vision’. Her commitment and understanding of Indian classical dance is praiseworthy and she has her own dedicated fan following. It is easy to find Indians promoting Indian art in its pure traditional form but when one sees a foreigner doing it with commitment and panache it is indeed a proud moment.

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another day and they do not plan anything specific or special, but for the common public the pressure is on to impress their ‘love’ with expensive goodies. An innovative idea came from F Bar & Lounge in Ashok hotel where they began the celebrations on 13th night, just before midnight and for the Valentine day special cover was declared for young lovers who could not get away in the evenings due to curfew or choice and could enjoy an afternoon with their special friend while the DJ belted out the love songs and dance numbers of Bollywood. Anything for earning that extra buck! Valentine Mania.

VALENTINE FEVER Even as political goons beat up young girls who are in the pub and threaten to disrupt the events of Valentine by harassing young lovers, the fever of Valentine is not to be ignored. Though not so old in the Indian cities, this celebration of young love has really taken off. Literally every restaurant and every hotel has been offering special deals, musical events and other ways to entice the business of youngsters and mature revellers alike. Shopping malls have had their foyers decorated with red and white balloons and other festivities like loud live bands are there to take money out of your pockets. Probably in the end it becomes less about celebration or love and more about consumerism as one is expected to give expensive gifts and declare one’s love. People forget that Valentine is not just about love between a boy and a girl but also love and respect to your teachers or others where the notion of sex does not even enter the equation. Film stars like Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan whose love story is more public than private have been on record to say that in their busy lifestyle the Valentine Day is just 106

AVOCADO OIL LAUNCHED IFOWS is an annual show for food and beverage lovers in Delhi, and of course trade people to decide what to import in India. In the last few years it has been beverages and food items like olives, olive oil and many other delicacies that have now become available in India. In the past they have had gala dinners and gourmet safaris that have provided immense pleasure to food lovers of Delhi. This year the show, held in January, was smaller due to many cancellations following the Mumbai terror attacks. However, it is not often that one finds a brand new product. This year Launch of Avocado oil in India on IFOWS platform.

Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

they had the first ever presence of Avocado Oil from South Africa. Avocado is technically a fruit but is considered a vegetable when it comes to enjoying it in salads or sauces. The production of edible avocado oil is not that old even in South Africa. The company Westfalia in South Africa has mango and avocado orchards. They have been exporting the oil to cosmetic companies in Europe and America for the last few years – almost 80% of their production. However, the edible oil is not only delicious when enjoyed with crispy bread it is healthier than many other edible oils, almost at par with olive oil. Except it has one advantage over the olive oil too. As its burning point is a lot higher than olive oil, it is more suited for Indian style spice tempering and deep frying without breaking the oil. Apart from cooking in it, the oil is being infused with other essential oils

making it perfect for salads and other uses on boiled and braised food – meats and vegetables alike. Currently they are infusing it with basic oils like garlic, chillies, basil, Mediterranean herbs and lemon. As a gourmet cook you can even combine any two to make your own cocktail. Technically, the avocado oil is cholesterol free and is a natural source of Beta-Sitasterols which have a lowering effect on LDL cholesterol and effectively reduces the risk of heart disease. When delicious taste is combined with health benefits, any product is bound to be popular among health conscious housewives. Currently, the oil availability is restricted but Indian importers are negotiating terms with the company and it might soon be available off the ordinary stores’ shelves, just as olive oil has become so popular. Interestingly, the company also has sundried mango strips which was very like the home made ‘aampapad’ except it had no added sugar and that made it a healthier option. Hopefully, some importer will show interest in these two as they make delicious snacks with low sugar and can be added to salads as well.

FREEDOM AT MIDNIGHT – RE LAUNCHED When a book, non-fiction and covering an important subject like the freedom of India and subsequent partition is a complete sell-out it is time to relaunch it with pomp and show. This is easily achieved when the author of the book is as erudite and vocal as Dominique Lapierre. He was present in Delhi for this relaunch, accompanied by his charming wife. Not only did he sportingly sign all the copies bought that evening, he shared his memories with the select august crowd. And what memories they are! Imagine meeting people who created history, not just the Indian

Author Dominique Lapierre with wife in Delhi on the re-launch of his book ‘Freedom at Midnight’.

political figures like Gandhiji or Nehruji, or even Indira Gandhi and others but people like Mountbatten. Apparently just before he undertook writing of the book Dominique had the chance of talking in detail with Mountbatten who invited him over to his place and Dominique got to see all the paperwork that Lord Mountbatten had kept. It seems that every official and unofficial event that Mountbatten attended he kept the official menu of the event. The first one was of his own baptism which he could not probably have remembered but there it was with all the others. Lapierre then recounted the lunch he had with Sir Cyril Ratcliff who was the man responsible for drawing the line of partition between India and Pakistan and how after lunch they went into the kitchen and Sir Ratcliff washed the lunch plates. Definitely a change from his life in India, when he would have been like a royalty, waited upon by dozens of servants. Many years after partition, Dominique Lapierre also met the brother of Nathuram Godse, the assassin of Mahatma Gandhi. He wanted to re-enact the day and Woman’s Era ● March (First) 2009

activities of the day the assassination of the father of India. Lapierre said he did not know how the keeper of the Gandhi memorial would react but was amazed how the Godse clan considers Nathuram as the real hero and still keep the shirt he wore when he was executed. There is a sense of surrealism in narration like these. Personally, I just wish there were more photographs in a book such as this. But, it must have been difficult to select even the ones that are there – the first official pictures of independent India and Pakistan and of the famous one of 1931 Round Table Conference where Gandhiji arrived in his dhoti and cotton shawl to later comment on the ostentatious dress of King George V to say, ‘The King was wearing enough for both of us.’ The sense of humour when one finds it is macabre but it is real, these are the days when India was torn apart. Before the birth of Pakistan and in the following weeks the mayhem both countries faced has been described in a somewhat non emotional but real way by this French writer. Often one can feel the urge to stifle a sob, wipe a tear or just feel angry at how cruel the politics and petty desires of individuals killed the spirit of people and paved the way for legacy that continues till date between India and its neighbour Pakistan. Talking with Dominique Lapierre is like talking to a library of events, his memory is crystal clear and he does not fumble for words either when speaking face to face or when he is at the mike. Even this evening, everybody hung on to his every word and few would have complained or desired food or drinks while he talked. As for the book published by Vikas and priced at barely Rs.425/- it is surely worth its weight and 750 odd pages. Prices of books in India make it easy for us to not only read these books but possess these gems of literature. – Sona Sharma. 107

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SHEILA’S

A lot of questions can be asked about the past performance of Sheila Government? What about her third term? By K. M. Sharma

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rd

FIVE YEAR PLAN IN NEW INCARNATION

his period is very crucial for Delhi. Sheila Dixit’s 3rd term shall be very eventful as the Common Wealth games will be held in 2010 and their success shall depend upon Sheila Dixit’s astute planning in reshaping Delhi for the games. Metro shall be entering in its 3rd phase of implementation. Delhiites may witness extensive reconstruction programme wherein it is quite possible that trees will be denuded, useful marshland may be encroached upon, nature’s gift greenery may vanish. So any environmentalist will have an hawkish eye on such developments. There shall be lot of exhilarating activities in the times to come. The election results of Delhi

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Assembly on 28.11.08 gave a surprise mandate to Sheila Dixit to rule over Delhi for 3rd consecutive term for 5 years. Such results in favour of Congress inspite of the preceding unusual and anarchic prevailing circumstances before elections like Mumbai terrorist attack, skyrocketing prices and disturbed law and order problem, etc., exposing the total failure of the government, came as a bolt from the blue. Everybody expected a non-Congress Government as a natural corollary of people’s complete disenchantment with the Congress’ questionable governance. But the fact is that Sheila Dixit’s government being in power could manipulate the purchase of the slipping victory by doling out various populist measures one after the other, just before elections.

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It is nothing but bribing the voters. Why the Government preferred to remain silent all the 41/2 years? Has the government thoughtfully calculated the financial implications of these fanciful schemes which will be requiring a huge financial outlay. From where this huge amount resulting in several hundred crores of rupees shall be arranged as the population of such beneficiaries are in lakhs? Whereas the government feels reluctant to increase the pension on amount of ex-army men who have sacrificed their lives for the sake of the country. These exarmymen were on hunger-strike at Jantar Mantar Delhi to press the government for the increase in their meagre pension. Does it not appear shameful for a democratic government to become so insensitive to the cause of the armymen? Simply because their vote percentage seems to be insignificant to the overwhelming number of jhuggi dwellers. If we recount and recapitulate the unpraiseworthy days of Sheila Dixit government during 1st and 2nd term we can easily conclude that she has immensely contributed to the destruction of the peace, tranquillity, grandeur, culture and heritage of this beautiful city. Once a peaceful and manageable city has now been transformed into a mega city badly governed, shockingly stinking, dangerously polluted, lamentably unsafe for ladies, where influx of population remains unchecked, where people cry for far from the maddening crowd”. Everywhere in the city we find a jostling crowd consisting of interstate migrants from Bihar, UP, southern states, illegal migrants from Bangladesh, Pak, Nepal & various other countries. This city is vunerable to all sorts of terrorist activities and shadow of terrorism always looms large over this city. She, however, fought this election with full emphasis on the development work done by her. She asserted, “I have transformed the face of this city by making lots of flyovers, giving red light-free travel, 112

east Delhi has been given compete facelift (her son’s constituency) popular scheme etc., etc. It is her own assessment no doubt, but many people don’t accept it and I am one of them. I have however touched here some critical aspects of her rule in 10 years affecting the life of the common man quite adversely. Transport policy: As such there

THE ELECTION RESULTS OF DELHI ASSEMBLY ON 28.11.08 GAVE A SURPRISE MANDATE TO SHEILA DIXIT TO RULE OVER DELHI FOR 3RD CONSECUTIVE TERM FOR 5 YEARS.

As such, there is no transport policy of Delhi Government.

is no transport policy of Delhi Government. Everything looks hotchpotch. As usual, blue line buses have claimed their 10th victim. In 2008 the figure was 200, in 2007 it was 298, so on and so forth. Even in the face of the public outcry Sheila Government did not phase out these buses on one pretext or the other. In a span of 10 years she could not manage any alternative and viable proposal for their phasing out programme. Somehow the killer buses are on the roads and shall remain so. Now the government in a hastily formulated policy ordered lowfloor buses of green colour non-air conditioned with the ordinary fare and red colour A/c buses but their tariff is Woman’s Era

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comparatively higher. These buses are plying on selected routes with irregular time table and are in league with blue line buses. From the nodal points, these buses in the group of three start simultaneously and consequentially run half-full. The report about these low-floor buses is very adverse including my report. They are not as spacious as DTC buses. The standing capacity in these buses is only for a line and there the passengers can’t cross without their clothes being torn or buttons dislocated and dress spoiled. They carry lesser number of passengers. As the engine is on the back side so the temperature in the bus increases

Dr. Vijay Kakkar M.S, M.ch, F.I.C.S

FACELIFT AND NECK-LIFT

How does the face age? As we age, our skin loses its elasticity and gives in to gravity. This causes sagging of the neck and jaw line as well as loose folds of skin around the mouth. Some people may also develop fatty collections under the chin, and others get thick cords under the skin of the neck. Today, men and women in their 50s and 60s are healthier, more active, and more productive than ever before. What can a facelift achieve? A facelift can reverse many features of the ageing face and neck. The most dramatic improvement is seen in the jawline and the neck. A facelift may be combined with other procedures to help maintain facial balance and harmony.

Before

Before

After

After

After adequate tightening of the deeper layers, the skin is redraped and excess skin is carefully trimmed and meticulously sutured along the incision lines. This results in improvement of the laxity of the jawline and contour of the neck.

Where exactly are the facelift incisions made and how visible are they? Facelift incisions are carefully

placed within the natural creases in front, within, and behind the ear. After adequate tightening of the deeper structures, excess skin is removed from both sides and the incisions are carefully repaired. The finest sutures is used for closure of incisions, which in most individuals will usually fade to a barely visible thin line.

Before

After

What is the best age to have a facelift? One of the biggest questions our patients ask is about timing of this procedure. Some worry that if they have the procedure too soon they may want to repeat it again later in life, while others worry that if they wait too long they may be beyond help. Most of our patients coming in for face and neck-lift procedures are in their late 40s to late 50s. They have started to show early sagging of the face and neck and are trying to be proactive about maintaining their youthful appearance. Typically, face and neck-lift procedures can set back the clock by about 8-10 years. Although aging will continue, you will always look better for your age than if you had not had the surgery. Face and neck-lift procedures can be safely repeated in 8-10 year intervals. What is a deep-plane facelift? It is ideal for most individuals in their late 40s or older who wish to have a long-lasting improvement of their ageing face and neck. The procedure involves a thorough tightening of the sagging muscles of the lower face and neck, and can be custom tailored to the specific needs of each person. The recovery time for

a deep-plane facelift is the same as a mini-lift or S-lift, and bruising is often less, since the work is being performed at a deeper level. This type of facelift may also be combined with other facial procedures such as blepharoplasty, brow lift, or laser resurfacing.

What is a mini-lift or s-lift? An S-lift or mini-lift is a technique of lifting the face with limited incisions and minimal skin removal. Patients with relatively minimal laxity (typically early to mid 40s) may be good candidates for this procedure. However, because of the limited incisions and more conservative tightening and skin removal, this technique is not as effective as a deep-plane facelift for rejuvenation of more advanced sagging of the lower face, jaws, and neck. Most individuals in their 50s and 60s with more advanced laxity are therefore not good candidates for this procedure as they will not receive the lasting benefits of a facelift. Because of its relative technical ease and minimally invasive nature, the S-lift or mini-lift is popular among many non-surgeons who perform plastic surgery. What is a ‘weekend lift’? This procedure allows the sagging neck tissues to be tightened through a very small incision under the chin. Excess fat can be removed and neckbands can be improved. Because no skin is removed, there is no need for incisions around the ears. Dr. Vijay Kakkar M.B.B.S, M.S, M.ch, F.I.C.S Is a Senior Consultant plastic and cosmetic surgery with Max hospital and Mata Chanan Devi hospital, New delhi. Email: [email protected] Mobile:0-9811079483

in summer beyond tolerable limits which is most uncomfortable feature of such buses. These buses are run by DTC staff and they have not shed the dirty DTC mentality i.e. allowing the passengers to board from the exit door and allow them to stand there creating hurdles for outgoing passengers. Driver’s seat is just near the exit door but still he does not check the passengers. They stop the bus on request at a spot away from the designated bus stop. In Singapore and other advanced countries buses run in proper discipline giving passengers a joyful ride. But Delhi has yet to develop such a civilised culture for a bus journey. But the irony of fate is that, Delhi Government has ordered for 2000 such buses. As far as passengers convenience is concerned, these

exploitative and abusive of all regulations and rules and also the terms of their contract agreement. In a way they are not out of control of the government’s controlling authority, be it transport authority or traffic police. They don’t fear any The public at large is most fed up with autowalas.

BRT corridor proved to be killer of the commuters and the pedestrians.

buses shall prove to be a nightmare. It is advisable for Delhi Government to get the correction in their design with body as large as DTC buses. Sheila Government would be taking a wise decision if the huge orders for further buses is cancelled outrightly.

Three wheeler menace: Three wheelers in the city are an important mode of transport to ferry people to different destinations far and near in the metropolis. Sorry to say that this vital sector is most indisciplined, 114

complaint against them by passengers either for overcharging, refusing to go, tampering with the electronic meters. Either no action is taken on such complaints by the authorities or any action if at all taken is so diluted with light punishment or mere a reprimand which has no salutary effect on these autorickshaw owners. The public at large is most fed up and they are nothing sort of menace in the city. It is generally seen that passengers normally settle the fare to be charged before hiring Woman’s Era

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the auto, because everybody knows that they deliberately will not charge by meters or else the tampered meters generally show the inflated fares. Mrs Sheila Dixit‘s government in her last two terms obliged these recalcitrant and errant autorickshaw owners by revising their tariff schedules more than threefold. As a result, they have become expensive and out of reach of an average citizen. She has miserably failed to discipline them and protect the interest of the public. This is a sad commentary on the part of the government.

BRT corridor: This BRT corridor is the concept of Sheila Dixit’s government. It has become controversial and is proving to be a curse for Delhiites. It has proved to be another killer of the commuters and the pedestrians. This has also proved to be a nightmare for the people who happen to pass through this corridor and who happen to negotiate the failure of this system and the experts have already questioned its wrong designing of space thrust on the road because such a corridor is unsuitable to Delhi commuters with a different mindset. Crores of rupees have already been pumped into this hastily baked scheme but she is adamant to continue the project. The confusion on the BRT issue is not just confined to the roads but also the minds of its planners. Now there is a news that it would be remodelled by a Londonbased agency. We await with bated breath the next plan to get the BRT up and running. The irony is that VIPs and government officials don’t like to obey BRT corridor rules and their vehicles have a free run in the lane meant exclusively for buses and this lane can only be used by public service vehicle on emergency duty such as ambulances, firebrigade and police vans on duty. It is not understood as to why she does not abandon this nasty corridor and maintain the status quo. Yamuna cleaning: Day in and day out the residents of Delhi are

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reading about the dangerously polluted Yamuna river and lamenting their fate as Yamuna river is the helpline of Delhi, being its sole water supplier. It is no more a sacred river but a “ganda nallah” wherein most polluted water flows which is a source of many diseases for those who take bath in it or use it in different ways. No doubt, various schemes have been launched with fanfare to clean Yamuna with budgetary allocations of hundreds of crores. A period of 10 years for a government is not a small period to clean Yamuna River. What is the result? Yamuna is as polluted as it was and the entire budgetary funds have gone down the drain. After all, where this huge allocation has gone? Can anybody clarify it and enlighten the public with some statistics? Instead of cleaning Yamuna, government departments are guilty of polluting Yamuna river deliberately. Huge clusters of Jhuggis of Bangla Deshis at Yamuna Pushta was the major source of pollution of Yamuna. Even now while going to Noida one notices thousands of Jhuggis right from Ring Road – point up to the red light of Mayur Vihar on the river bed on the river side. Are the government authorities behind this perennial problem of Yamuna pollution? Amazingly, Mrs Dixit has not made any promise or given any assurance in her election manifesto to carry on vigorously Yamuna cleaning programme. So it can’t be predicted whether she would be able to clean Yamuna in the next five years which are at her disposal.

City’s

condition:

There

is

Most polluted water flows in Yamuna!

absolutely no doubt that the condition of Delhi has deteriorated so fast and so much that it has reached a suffocating point. I was born in this city in 1932 and since then I am witnessing the changing phases of this city which is most cruelly trampled upon with lopsided development and unmanageably increasing population. In the late evening one can see the layers of pollution engulfing the entire city. Even visibility becomes poor. Delhi being a very dirty city does not deserve to be the capital of India. Foreign dignitaries and tourists treat this city with much disdain and feel frightened even to drink its not-soclean water. Everyone in Delhi has installed Aqua Guard or any other water-purifying device. Lesser privileged people drink direct from tap water which is heavily and injuriously polluted. This unfortunate city has been developed and expanded by people themselves. Encroachers are never punished, on the contrary they are rewarded for encroaching on government’s precious land. Indiscipline has been injected into the veins of general public. Has Mrs Dixit or her son (MP) ever taken a round of this city and seen for herself/himself how much mess has already been created? Wherein ladies are not safe at all and gents are killed due to any reason. Road rage kills people, blue line kills the people and adulteration kills the people as if killing spree is going on unchecked. Delhi Master Plan 2021 and various notifications hastily worded issued by the government to circumscribe the court’s order for sealing and demolition of unauthorised construction and encroachment, etc. have played havoc with the city and emboldened them to engage in unauthorised activities.

Safety of women and elderly: The daily increasing incidence of rape, molestation and killing of the ladies in Delhi has proved beyond doubt that Delhi is most unsafe city inspite of the fact that C. M. of Delhi is a lady herself. Her lament always 116

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DAY IN AND DAY OUT THE RESIDENTS OF DELHI ARE READING ABOUT THE DANGEROUSLY POLLUTED YAMUNA RIVER AND LAMENTING THEIR FATE AS YAMUNA RIVER IS THE HELPLINE OF DELHI, BEING ITS SOLE WATER SUPPLIER.

Safety of women always a question mark in Delhi.

is that police deptt is not under her control, so she can’t do anything to control the law and order problem affecting the ladies. It is a lame excuse and an alibi to cover up her administrative ineffectiveness. Madam, what about those departments which are already under your control? Even foreign lady tourists who travel to Delhi alone are not at all safe. There have been numerous cases when such tourists have been raped, looted and killed. The reason may be anything but it is C.M. who is to be blamed. C.M. can exercise her influence over Police Department and carry out a joint regulated programme ensuring the safety of the womenfolk. But nothing concrete has been done and the danger is looming large on ladies all the 24 hours. They are molested in overcrowded buses, in the busy markets and in localities. Their chains, earrings and mobiles are snatched daily in every nook and corner of the city and they can’t defend themselves. They are afraid

of coming out of their houses in the late evening and at night. It is an irony that ladies have cast their votes for her. Similarly, elderly couples (single as well as with spouses) are soft targets and are murdered mercilessly. They are made to die before the natural death comes. Can Sheila Dixit explain as to who is responsible for their safety? Has she opened reasonably good old-age homes where old people can live safely and comfortably without any hassles, no matter if they are charged tolerably boarding and lodging expenses. Such old homes are urgently needed to rehabilitate the lonely and home-troubled elderly people. She can very well tie up with corporate houses as a joint venture to establish old-age homes. She will be getting good wishes from such elderly people. In fact, she would be doing a great humanitarian job. She has a full-fledged Minister of Social Welfare and under him runs a

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT THAT THE CONDITION OF DELHI HAS DETERIORATED SO FAST AND SO MUCH THAT IT HAS REACHED A SUFFOCATING POINT.

big social welfare department with huge financial allocations. This department runs various social schemes like “ran basera” “Juvenile homes, Nari Niketan”, etc. In fact, the working of these schemes are a blatant waste of money. There is lot of corruption in such projects, their maintenance is pathetic. It is much better that such schemes are discontinued as early as possible. Their allocated funds can be utilised in other fruitful welfare and development programmes. Forever social welfare Minister Mr Yoga Nand Shastri asked the general public to lift samples of food stuffs of suspected adulteration and get them tested at designated laboratories. Alive magazine dated November - 08 with a full-fledged article denounced such a move of Mr Yoga Nand Shastri and advised the minister to tighten the indifferent working of his “Inspectors” who are solely responsible for the large-scale adulteration in food stuffs rather exposing the public to lot of risks. The result is that adulteration is so rampant that you can’t get even poison unadulterated. Is the removal of adulteration on war footing somewhere on the agenda of Mrs Sheila Dixit in her 3rd term?

Health services: Health services conducted by Delhi Government are woefully inadequate. The condition of government hospitals and dispensaries are far from satisfactory. Generally, medicines are not available in the hospitals. Patients are supposed to purchase medicines from the open market which are very costly because government has imposed 12.5 per cent vat on medicines, even on life-saving drugs. Even medicines sold over the counter like digene, disprin, etc. have also become costly. In other words, if you become victim of any serious ailment and if you have no money to afford costly treatment you are destined to die an untimely death. Is this our welfare state? It is alleged that milk, fruits and food supplementaries Health services conducted by Delhi government need to improve.

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meant for free distribution amongst the patients in good hospitals are rarely distributed to the patients as it is distributed (looted) by hospital staff among themselves including Drs and nursing staff: Xray machines and other testing machines are usually found out of order creating problems for the patients. The conditions of the hospitals in the capital are so appalling that people prefer to go to private nursing homes where they are also fleeced. But the level of treatment is decidedly better. I can hardly give 3 out of 10 to such health services. As she is very fond of going abroad on one pretext or the other she must visit Cuba and see for herself what a really good health service is practised in Cuba for all its citizens and then implement the same in Delhi. Pollution, both noise and air in Delhi, is taking its toll on the health of citizens, which has increased beyond tolerable limits. Even CNG introduction has not brought any relief to the city. Govt’s pollution control department can be charged with the dereliction of its assigned duties. The author of this article is a victim of this pollution as in Model Town a full-scale pollution creating trading and industrial activities of unauthorised auto mechanics are going on unabated. All reports to remove such illegal auto mechanics to police or MCD has fallen on deaf ears of concerned authorities. Will Sheilaji investigate these illegal activities of auto mechanics who are working on roads and footpaths and don’t obey even court orders?

Illegal Bangladeshi migrants: As per latest estimates, there are more than 12 lakh illegal Bangla Deshis residing in Delhi. Does Sheila Government not know the presence of such a large population of Bangla origin in the capital? If yes, then what drastic measures has she taken to dislodge these dangerous Bangla migrants. Before this she is also answerable to the public as to how these Bangla migrants got ration cards, identity cards, entry into voters list? Some of them even have pan

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cards and passport as Indian citizens. Can she deny a complete collusion of her govt’s departments in facilitating these illegal Bangla Deshis for their stay in Delhi and enable them to cast their votes which contributed substantially to her present victory. Their settlements in Jehangir Puri, Madan Gir, Okhla, Seema Puri, etc. are always an eye sore to the local bona fide citizens. They have beaten the police teams as and when police entered their settlements to catch a criminal or any wanted person. But government would not retaliate to teach them a lesson and round them up for deportation or take any criminal proceedings against them. They indulge in all sorts of organised crimes and government could not check their menace by religiously following vote-bank politics. They are threat to the security of the country as they tend to act as the local modules for the terrorists across the border, either Pakistan or Bangla Desh. In such a scenario can India ever be able to control effectively terrorism with so many “Chhipay Huae Gaddar” in the country?

Educational policy: The situation on educational sector is far from satisfactory. The condition of schools is the clear index of any govt’s educational policy. Her Govt has also failed in this important sphere. The condition of most of the schools is irritatingly bad. Many schools are still being run in tents with no proper facilities. The schools which have their buildings are in no better position. Many buildings need repairs, water coolers, working fans, good furniture and proper sanitation. It is well known that most of the male teachers run their private business and somehow manage to remain absent from school and their allotted periods are taught by proxy. Adverse reports are daily pouring in that there is lot of corruption in the midday meal scheme. Stale food is usually provided to the tender students resulting in food-poisoning cases, ill-health and lot of other physical complications. Ingredients 120

used in the preparation of meals are very sub-standard and of defective and expired quality. Educational authorities are very insensitive to the health and growth of these students and they not only deserve full condemnation but should be punished exemplarily. Is Madam listening? Lady teachers are thoughtlessly put on election duty in remote areas. School students are made to stand in scorching summer or chilled winter for any or every government-sponsored function. A cruel practice indeed! Selection grade (APC) has not been given to many teachers (especially ladies) even after the completion of 24 years of service on one pretext or the other. In other words, the educational deptt lacks transparency in its working and suffers from bureaucratic snobbery. In fact, education directorate should have a personnel department to handle staff-related matters on more scientific lines instead of being run on personal whims of officers.

Multiple enactments: Delhi Government under Mrs Sheila Dixit shows lot of enthusiasm to enact various laws to prove that her government policies are very progressive and keeping pace with the times, if not moving ahead of time. But their implementation is far from satisfactory. Anti Smoking Act in public is such an act which the people don’t bother to obey. You can find people smoking everywhere including Sheila’s own office and the rate of punishing the violators is negligible. Similarly, recently an order prohibiting the use of plastic bags under Environment Protection Act 1986 has been issued by Delhi Government. It is a good sign that Delhi Government has banned plastic bags. The ban follows Delhi High Court order based on justice R. C. Chopra Committee report. The problem with plastic is that they are durable and degrade very slowly. The ones above 40 micron are better. To make it effective legislative measures would not be of much help because in our country the compliance law is not only lax but Woman’s Era

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THE CONDITIONS OF THE HOSPITALS IN THE CAPITAL ARE SO APPALLING THAT PEOPLE PREFER TO GO TO PRIVATE NURSING HOMES WHERE THEY ARE ALSO FLEECED. deliberately avoided and the result is that there is no noticeable change in the situation. Some years ago a law was passed to ban throwing of litter on road, footpath, near homes or commercial places as they constitute an offence punishable by a simple imprisonment or a fine or both. But what is the result? Zero. Delhi is a stinking city with litters all around on roads, near houses, near shops and other places. Government authorities are not bothered about the implementation of this important law. They have not even learnt from Delhi Metro Management as to how such an act can be implemented in all its essentials. It is really creditable on the part of Delhi Metro that its stations and adjacent environment remains spick and span which shows that hygiene and sanitation are high on the agenda of D.M.R.C. which is totally missing with Delhi Government. Will Mrs Sheila Dixit constitute a committee to review the implementation of the laws passed by its government to make due We corrections?

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PROBLEMS OF

PELVIC INFECTION

Often, it’s not just a backache that affects a woman but much more. By Dr S. N. Khosla elvic inflammatory diseases are the commonest cause of morbidity and poor health in young women of childbearing age. A great percentage of women coming to the clinics with poor health and vague abdominal pain suffer from it. Often, these unfortunate women are treated for vague abdominal symptoms and pain in the back. It is a frustrating experience for any woman when she finds that despite extensive medication there is no relief and in many women the symptoms get exacerbated. Pelvic inflammatory diseases assume significance because of not only producing immediate suffering

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but also long-term complications like sterility in a young woman. These may be defined as inflammation of the genitalia due to infection either introduced from outside or by infection ascending upwards from the cervix and vagina. Of the various causes responsible for producing pelvic infection, the commonest is injury to the genital organs during delivery when this becomes infected. Though this incidence has been considerably reduced due to the use of better aseptic techniques at the time of delivery, in a great number of women who are delivered by local untrained dais in villages, the incidence of tears to the cervix with resultant infection is very high.

Another cause of severe pelvic infections is the instrumentation and unnecessary handling while inducing abortions. Many times, the abortions are induced by devious methods like the introduction of sticks and medicated tampons with the result that infection of pelvic tissues results in inflammation of the vagina, uterus and fallopian tubes. One estimate is that morbidity following such abortions is at least 20-25 times that of legal abortions and that incidence of pelvic infection even with legal abortion varies from one to 10 per cent depending on the stage of the pregnancy and the method employed for inducing abortion. It cannot be denied that the incidence of trauma and pelvic infection goes side by side with the stage at which the abortion is induced, the longer the stage of pregnancy, the greater is severity of infection.

THE INFECTION RATE Even when pregnancy has been terminated in the first three months of pregnancy with a vacuum aspirator, the infection rate is one to five per cent, while with D and C it ranges from five to 10 per cent. Though surgery is expected to be done under proper aseptic techniques, even in the best centres, infection occurs while operating on the pelvic organs. In this regard, improper sterilisation of the operation theatre and instruments, and extensive surgery relaxation of ordinary aseptic and antiseptic techniques play an important role. Of the various contraceptive methods employed, intrauterine devices act as an important source of chronic infection of the female genitalia, the IUCD helps the organism in the vagina to travel along it, causing a ready infection of the organs. It has been rightly pointed out that the three P’s – the pill, permissiveness and promiscuity – are the root causes of pelvic infection in women. Young girls who lead a promiscuous life are more prone to 126

suffer from this condition. These girls have a highest risk of developing pelvic infections. A number of organisms ranging from N. gonorrhoea to trichomonos and candida, etc. are known to be the causative agents. This risk is also higher in women who use oral contraceptive pills, especially those containing high levels of female hormones (oestrogens). Other predisposing factors for pelvic infections are a young age at first intercourse, intercourse more than four times a month and indulging in oral sex. Sex during or soon after menstruation is another important cause as in this case the natural protective mechanism is already broken and blood will provide a suitable medium for the organisms to grow. Unprotected sex and sex with multiple partners puts a woman at risk of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases and along with it, other infections often. There is complaint of a foul- smelling discharge. When treating such women, men who act as vectors must also be investigated, examined and treated as these may be the originators and perpetuators of chronic infection in the woman. Pelvic infections result due to ascending infection from the vagina lining of the uterus, spreading to the Woman’s Era

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tubes and the peritoneum. Many times the female sufferer may remain unaware of her infection till a long time passes and it is probably the resultant complications, which drive the woman to seek medical advice. Very often, the symptoms are nonspecific. Pain in the lower abdomen is by far the most frequent complaint along with low-grade fever there is diffused. Pain in the abdomen and is present generally in the lower part. There is a vaginal discharge and there is itching in the region of the genitalia and the adjacent skin of the thighs. There is pain while passing urine. Frequency of urination is increased and often there is urgency. Low backache is one of the commonest distressing symptoms

AN EQUALLY IMPORTANT CAUSE OF PELVIC INFECTION IN WOMEN IS GENITAL TUBERCULOSIS WHICH IS A VERY IMPORTANT CAUSE OF STERILITY IN SUCH WOMEN.

complain of persistent abnormal vaginal discharge, menstrual irregularities and abdominal pain. Very often, it is sterility in a woman of the reproductive age-group which draws attention to the condition. Vulvovaginal candidiasis is another common form of infection. Candida is a normal inhabitant of the vagina and its growth is kept under check by the normal vaginal flora. But it produces symptoms when a woman takes antibiotics or is immunocompromised as in diabetes, HIV infections/AIDS. Pregnancy exacerbates the condition.

THE SYMPTOMS

besides referring to complaints of vaginal discharge. When genococcol and other infections like trichomonos become chronic, the patient besides having low backache and vaginal discharge (purulent) has not only low-grade fever but also poor health and often remains ill. An equally important cause of pelvic infection in women is genital tuberculosis which is a very important cause of sterility in such women. Patients are mostly young in the agegroup of 25-30 years and the order of involvement includes her tubes, cervix, ovaries, vagina and vulva. The tubercule bacilli cause infection either via the blood stream or lymphatics or by ascending and descending infection from the neighbouring structures where the disease is present. These women 128

Symptoms are of a thick white vaginal discharge with irritation, frequently worse at night and before menstruation. Candidiasis is further worsened by bubble baths, lightfitting clothes like jeans, vaginal sprays and deodorants, and the use of contraceptive devices like diaphragms, spermicides and IUCDS. Sufferers from candida generally have pruritis and a thick. White vaginal discharge that resembles cottage cheese but is generally odourless. There is often soreness of the private parts and a burning sensation when the urine comes in contact with the vulva skin. There is pain during sexual contact. Most of the symptoms of candida begin just before menses. Another source of chronic pelvic infection is the frequent use of jellies and tablets for contraception. Antiseptic solutions used for douching are also responsible for causing irritation and infection. An important factor to be considered in a woman with pelvic infection is the organism, trichomonas vaginalis which involves women in all age-groups, more so in adult women irrespective of their social status. Many times, the infection is introduced by the male partner who may be harbouring the organism in his prostrate or posterior urethra. A woman who suffers from it generally has a frothy, greenishyellow discharge and this is Woman’s Era

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responsible for severe itching in her private parts. In sum total, pelvic infection in women are contributed by several factors. Infection is generally caused by a number of organism and many often coexist in the same person. Women who have been subjected to surgical procedures with inadequate sterilisation, abortions, medical termination of pregnancy or use of contraceptive devices and those who indulge in permissive living, are the ones who are likely to fall prey to chronic pelvic infections with resultant morbidity. Most of the sufferers come with low-grade fever, backache, abdominal pain, difficulty in passing urine, vaginal discharge and poor health. Diagnosis is not difficult if these complaints in any woman are kept in mind. It should be made on the history the sufferer gives and further tests like urine plus culture and ultrasound of the abdomen. The treatment part is best left in the hands of your treating doctor. Main aim is to alleviate the symptoms and prevent long-term sequlae. But the important part is how to prevent the symptoms. Certain guidelines in this respect can be laid. ● One should avoid promiscuous behaviour. Avoid sex during menstruation. Preferably no oral sex. ● Avoid bubble baths and use of feminine hygiene products like sprays and deodorants. ● When using IUCD’s for contraception have a regular checkup since these are important causes of acting as sources of chronic pelvic infection. ● Vaginal infections thrive in moisture. So dry your part carefully after bathing. Wear cotton underwear and do not sleep in underwear. Avoid tight-fitting clothes. ● Once you suffer from pelvic infection, get it treated properly and do not leave treatment midway. Simultaneous treatment of your male partner must be done to prevent reinfection. And lastly, if you are young, live within limits of society lest permissiveness takes a toll on the We beautiful years of your life.

Anoop Srivastava Born: 31 March 1964 in Kanpur Education: Graduate in Military Sciences Diploma in Fine Arts, Allahabad University Active in the art field since 1992 Taught art at Yuva Shakti Model School, Rohini, Delhi Contact: M: - 9810690230 Email: [email protected]

A DEPICTION OF

SENSITIVITY An artist’s endeavour to take art to the masses. By Our Correspondent rtist Anoop Srivastava has grown up amidst a variety of human sentiments. All these sentiments have played a crucial role in moulding his artistic talent. The son of a medico father, who was in the INA, and later on, when the INA was dismantled, joined the Army Medical Corp of the Indian Army, Anoop has seen different

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facets of life very closely in his formative years. His experiences as a child still leave an imprint on his artworks. Excerpts from an interview: When did you realise that you should be an artist? I am the only person in my family to take up art as a profession. My father was a medico in the INA and later on, in the Army Medical Corp. His job was transferable and as such we never had a settled life. I have had my schooling and higher education in Allahabad, where we were living in the compound of the Swarup Rani Hospital. I had a strong inclination towards art since early childhood and used to draw on the last pages of virtually all my textbooks.

Who and what inspired you most when you were learning art? I had an Anglo-Indian friend, Franky. He was a good artist and would draw impeccable figures of lotus flowers. His drawings inspired me to try my hand at art. Those days, there used to be a The magazine Illustrated Weekly of India, in which the Goanese cartoonist Mario Miranda’s cari catures would appear in the form of a woman in western outfits sup porting a big dot on her forehead. That appeared quite remarkable to me though I did not understand its full connotation then. I 130

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The epicentre of entire creation.

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related that big dot to my mother, who also used to sport a similar dot on her forehead. I would draw mainly female figures just to satisfy my hobby. Imprints of those childhood years still continue to dominate my artworks.

But I feel that when you do that then shade becomes the major concern and subjects become minor. Personally, I am experimenting with my subjects. Earlier, women appeared in three-fourths of my paintings, but now only about onefourth of my subjects are women.

What has played a crucial role in moulding the artist in you? I have always been a keen observer. I still cannot forget those heart-rending scenes in the hospital compound that I had witnessed during my formative years. It would suffice to say that I witnessed all types of human sentiments in the hospital compound. Imagine a number of dead bodies lying all around in the compound and their relatives moving around between them, trying to identify their near and dear ones. The expression on their faces spoke volumes about what was going on in their hearts. I feel those human sentiments have played a crucial role in moulding the artist in me. What are the subjects that you take up, in your paintings? I like to take up contemporary subjects. I believe that an artist should not become typecast; otherwise his work would appear monotonous. An artist is the mirror of society, but this mirror should not show the same images again and again. What theme would you strongly yearn to depict? It is very painful for me to see that family bonds are breaking up in modern society. We are blindly following the west. The media is also playing a decisive role in glamorising western culture. I have depicted this agonising development in my paintings. Secondly, I believe that woman is the epicentre of entire creation. Our first acquaintance in this world is with a woman. So I like to depict the womenfolk in different moods. Finally, it is spirituality that has a far greater influence on me. I have closely seen this aspect at confluence of the Ganges and 132

Yamuna in Allahabad and on the bathing jetties in Varanasi. There is Sufism in my paintings, which shows the transcendental trance –like experiences of the devotees.

What are the mediums you work in? Earlier, I used to work in oil paints. Now I mostly work in acrylic colours. Oil colours take long to dry, but they are superb in creating realistic artworks, as they mix well. Like many other artists, do you also keep on experimenting with art? I do experiment, but not on a wide scale. Of course, some artists are doing appreciable experiments with their art, like they are experimenting with fusion, creating new textures etc. Woman’s Era

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What is your opinion about the commercialisation of art? Commercialisation of art has three aspects. First, most of the people in India don’t have an evolved art sense. Even between the two metros – Mumbai and Delhi – much difference is seen in people’s art sense, which is much evolved in the former and still immature in the latter. Secondly, big art galleries have begun to confine good art within their warehouses. In a way, these art galleries are acting like hoarders and promoting already established artists. This action on the part of art galleries is also the greatest obstacle in developing an art sense among the people, as it scares the common people away from art and artists. Finally, every effort should be made to popularise art and bring it to the masses. Art zones should be created in the country in the tune of cultural zones and greater interaction should be ensured between the artists and the public. For this, space can be reserved for the artists in marts like the Delhi Haat, where they can display their works on a weekly basis. How do you see the future of art? There is no dearth of artistic talents and art lovers in the country. A number of talented artists are obliged to sell their art on roadsides, while big names are enjoying every comfort and being hung in cosy villas. A bright future for art can be ensured only when art is freed from the clutches of big galleries and brought among the masses. Secondly, an artist should be allowed to retain his or her originality. For this, art critics should give a studied and impartial opinion in their columns and do minimum We meddling with the artworks.

Q1

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2 Q

When you’re around him, he makes you feel...

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3 Q

You both have differences, you resolve them by...

Q4

When you both hug...

Q5

Even when you’re not around him, are you loyal to him?

6 Q

You took this quiz because...

a. Usually agreeing to disagree. b. Always hearing each other out and appreciating what the other has to say. c. I pretend that everything’s always perfect and there are no differences between both of us.

a. It scares me. b. We both feel somewhat awkward whenever the time comes. c. It feels right!

7 Q

You both spend time together...

Q8

You both can have fun together...

Q9

Small talk is...

10 Q

If he popped the question, you would

a. Yes, he is my one and only b. Usually, but sometimes I get distracted. c. It’s okay to see other guys, we both aren’t that serious about our relationship.

a. I am serious about the relationship and I really think it will work out. b. I am hesitant, will this really work or are we simply too different? c. Just for fun really, I don’t care. If it works out, it works out.

Scoring Terms and Conditions: Don’t you hate those artificial quizzes that only have one obvious right answer? Since we don’t know about your personal life, these questions could work out, depending on one’s personality and interactions. And you could probably come up with better answers!

Winners of DBS Quiz Contest - 46

a. Hardly ever, he never seems to have time for you. b. Sometimes, when it’s convenient. c. Whenever we can, although friends and family are also important to me. There is a balance.

a. Usually we can’t have fun because we’re always being so serious about everything. b. Don’t have fun with him at all. c. Just by being together, watching movies, cuddling...

a. Not important, it’s really the deeper content that matters the most. b. Very important to us both; I make sure to always ask how his day was. c. Somewhat important, every now and then I ask what’s up.

a. Say, yes, because it feels like the only thing I can say to a proposal. b. Say no, I don’t want it to get that serious c. Say yes, in a hearbeat.

Prove that you are aware of this trivia. Send us the coupon with your photo along with the correct answers. Name Age Address

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1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this quiz along with this coupon. The last date is 31 March 2009. So hurry up and post it now. 2. The decision of the editor will be final. 3. Depict your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your own. It may be printed in Woman’s Era, along with the results. Send to: Woman’s Era, Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.

QA &

Q& A I work in a multinational company and have a great family life too. After five years of marriage I am expecting my first baby and want to work for as long as possible. Can I decline travel assignments now, and what do I tell my company? Also what kind of clothes should I wear to work where most colleagues are men? It is good that you have a good job. You have to tell the truth to your company about why you are declining travel jobs. They will know soon enough. If you behave professionally they have the chance to find a replacement for your travel while you are indisposed. Remember, though, that you might not be able to travel for quite a while even after the baby arrives and if travel is imperative to your job, it might be a good idea to think of a job change though you can join again after your maternity leave and then look for alternatives. Wear clothes that are loose-fitting made with natural fabrics, cut to camou flage the bump and something that you are comfortable in.

I am as qualified as my husband and help him in his business. However, I feel that of late he is constantly putting me down and, while he takes a lot more money than I, he does not increase my allowance when he increases everybody else’s. Why he does this? There could be a variety of

well. When you treat yourself like an employee you also stand to be treated like one.

reasons. Maybe he does not want to be seen to other workers to be favouring his wife. Maybe he feels that he is working more or maybe he is just not doing it because you have not asked him to! It depends on what your role in the business is – talk to him and define your duties and remuneration, tell him that you need that the company respects your input and that you want to get your market value. But be careful, at some point you have to be ready to hear his point of view as

I was a career woman who got married and now had my first baby. I would like an other child before going back to working life. What is the right age difference between children and how to ensure that I can fit back into working life? Doctors and social support people suggest a three-year age difference but siblings with less age difference can also grow up well together. It depends on how well you are coping with the baby and how supportive your husband is with home duties. Going back to a career after a long break is never easy. See if you can do something that gives you sufficient time with the kids at home or something part time; or you can opt for working from home. However, remember that children do need the mother – that has not changed and, while a career is rewarding, so is bringing up your children. Woman’s Era

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My problem is almost petty. I come from a family of film lovers and my husband and his family are book worms who look down upon films calling them silly and all that. I feel as though they are insulting my intelligence when they say that because I am a qualified person I happen to like films. How should I handle this? You should not attempt to change their opinion. It is a matter of personal likes and dislikes. You cannot make them like films if they do not want to. Yes, they should not make you feel small about it and you have to be patient for a while but tell them that they need to respect your personal choices. It is always a done thing to make fun of a new bride, so maybe you just need to give them some time. However, do voice your views on their inability to accept your choices and tell them that maybe, just maybe, you are more tolerant as a person despite being qualified professional because you see films!

I am the only child of an army family. As we kept moving and shifting with dad’s posting, I never had lasting friendships and now I am married and my husband has friends whom he has known all his life. I feel so left out and jealous. What do I do? Make up for lost time and make beginning of lasting friendships now. Yes, it will be difficult but when you get married you have a new set of family and often inherit a new set of your husband’s friends. Make a gesture to be accepted by them. After all the wives of his friends are also new in the circle, maybe you can begin with them. If you make genuine efforts people will warm up to you in the same way that they are close to your husband. Yes, it will take time but it will be worth your while. 135

Tug of war Sanjee’s proposed adoption by the couple who had brought her up caused friction with her natural parents — until Sanjee found a more mature answer. By Savita Shetty

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On the way home, Sanjee was lost in whirl of thoughts. She had not even realised that Nihal was interested in her. But then, maybe, she hardly ever noticed anything since her work was everything. She didn’t realise it when she reached home. “Maasi! How come you are here?” Rushing towards Mala, Sanjee sat near her and affectionately pulled her by the arm, “Haan, I’ve finished painting all the motifs and was going to bring your sari in the evening. You couldn’t wait till then, ummm?” “No, no... nothing of that sort,” Mala smiled. And then Sanjee’s father said in an excited voice, “Listen to what your maasi has planned for you.” Was that a day of marriage proposals? Sanjee grimaced inwardly. Yes, last week, maasi had said somewhat mysteriously, “A surprise in store for you.” What else, but an eligible boy? “You know, Mala wants to officially adopt you,” Sanjee’s mother explained, “As such, you were more her daughter than mine. You almost grew up in her home. Now, she just wants to complete the official formalities...” Adopt? That was totally unexpected. And why now, after all these years? What her mother said was true. When Sanjee’s younger brother and then the sister were born in quick succession after her, Sanjee’s mother was unable to pay attention to her firstborn. Then close friend and neighbour Mala stepped in and happily took care of little Sanjee. At that time Mala maasi Statement of ownership and other particulars about and Jeetu maasa lived next door in a small two-room house similar to WOMAN’S ERA theirs. But Maasaji was good at work FORM IV, See Rule 8 and business, and he soon made so 1. Place of publication: New Delhi. 2. Periodicity of publication: much progress that the couple moved Fortnightly. 3, 4, & 5 Printer’s, Publisher’s, and Editor’s Name: Paresh to their own bungalow. Of course, Nath. Nationality: Indian, Address: E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-55. that wasn’t too far, just in the lane 6. Names and addresses of individuals who own the newspaper and partners behind theirs. So, by only going to or shareholders holding more than one per cent of the total capital: Delhi the next building and passing Press Patra Prakashan Pte. Ltd., E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-55. through its back gate, Sanjee would I, Paresh Nath, hereby declare that the particulars given above are true to be in front of maasi’s bungalow. the best of my knowledge and belief. The financial differences had Sd. Paresh Nath, Publisher. made no difference to the emotional

anjukta was startled. She looked up at Nihal, wondering whether she had heard right? Or maybe the signs and symptoms were already there since long ago, only she had failed to notice? Nihal was good in all respects, no doubt. But she never... “What happened?” Nihal laughed. “You are looking as if I’ve said something unspeakable...? Was it wrong to ask...?” “Oh, sorry. No... I didn’t mean to be rude,” Sanjee said hastily, “but... but I never expected... anticipated this.” That was true, for her Nihal was just a friendly colleague. “I’ve not given marriage a thought. I... you see, I’m so involved in my work... I hope you understand if I say that I’m not ready for marriage...” “Your work, your research, is no problem. I’m in the same field and I know you are gifted. I respect your talent. So I never intend to stop you from doing what you love to do and tie you to the home,” Nihal said. “I’m not saying this just to make you agree. I mean every word. You just have to say yes...” She was pretty confused. “This all is so sudden.” She had never thought of marriage and surely not to Nihal. How to say ‘no’ without hurting him? “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I would be doing injustice to you...” “No, you wouldn’t. Why do you worry when I am myself assuring you?” But she still seemed to be lost in doubts, so he said, “Okay, you take your time...”

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he had nothing against adoption, but... Leaving parents, changing everything including surname? And where was the necessity for it? She was theirs anyway. Sanjee looked at her parents and realised that they were quite happy, eager and excited with the thought. Naturally, because although Mala and Jeetu always helped them as much as they could, but now it would be more than friendship, almost like a relationship or the same family. That would help them as well as their younger children. On the other hand, when Mala maasi had done so much for her, she almost owed her life to maasi, so how could she refuse her wish? Maybe at this age, maasi had realised that she would never have a child of her own and so now she wanted Sanjee as only hers? When everybody looked so happy about it, then how could Sanjee say ‘no’? Although she had some apprehensions, she successfully tried to hide them and appeared as happy as the rest of them. There was no question of her permission, everyone had taken it for granted that she would be glad to hear the news. How and why would she say no? After two-three days when Sanjee went to see maasi, Mala made her sit... she wanted to talk so much. Sanjee felt a bit awkward... that was quite odd, actually. She had Woman’s Era

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always pranced in and out of maasi’s house without a second thought. Even the transition from two rooms in a chawl to a spacious bungalow had not made any difference to her. She plonked herself on the new upholstered sofa just as she always had on the old, wrought-iron cot. Even this change had been quite some years ago. But now... The same house, same people and still she was a bit ill at ease. Now she would be the daughter of that house –! “Sit with me, Sanjee,” Mala maasi’s words broke into her thoughts. “You must be wondering why I ... we decided on adoption now after all these years? Well, yes, I guess we should have done it long back. But, better late than never... I don’t want to miss anything of your life. We would like to get you married, I want to do the kanyadaan... all the pampering through your pregnancy, and want to hold your hand during your delivery. Your small babies would call me nani and they would be my grandchildren... I don’t wish to miss any of these things, so at least now.” Sanjee didn’t know what to say, so she just pressed her maasi’s hand.

STORY

bond between the families, especially between Mala and Sanjee. Even in that big house, a room was kept separate for Sanjee, and Mala had decorated it lovingly with all of Sanjee’s favourite things. Sanjee would stay there whenever she wished. For her, there was no difference between the two houses or the people in those two houses. She always thought she had two sets of parents and she loved them all equally. So then why this sudden talk of adoption? Where was the need? She was Mala maasi’s daughter. Maasi had looked after her, pampered her, scolded her while supervising her studies, sat by her bedside the entire night whenever she was sick. When, after years of waiting, she didn’t bear a child of her own, Mala had showered even more love on Sanjee. All was fine, but then why this?

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oth the families were happily looking forward to that occasion. Jeetu maasaji had started the paperwork necessary for adoption. As soon as the formal sanction came through, Mala maasi had planned to give a big party to make the announcement. She was busy preparing the guest

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list, menu, special dresses and delicate ornaments for Sanjee... the work was endless. For every small detail she waited for Sanjee to come and give her approval. Sanjee sometimes felt guilty that when maasi was so excited and was making so much effort, she couldn’t give all that much time to maasi’s preparations. But her work... And then Sanjee’s name was announced as the recipient of the national award for the young scientist. Sanjee couldn’t believe it at first. Yes, she loved her work and was very sincere to it, but a national award? It was unbelievable. She had developed a small instrument which could prove very valuable in laboratory work. Big multinational companies could use it in their research and development departments.

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uddenly she was in the limelight. Naturally, Sanjee was invited by various magazines, newspapers and other media people for interviews. She was also invited to the TV channels for participating in the youth or science-oriented programmes. This was just the part of her achievement. On the business and money front, many big companies were approaching her. They were interested in buying her invention and the amounts they quoted were pretty impressive. This was all so sudden and so new to her... everyone around her was very happy that her work had got recognition. Both the families were so thrilled that their own little Sanjee was a national figure now... so proud of her. “Oh my little girl” Mala maasi hugged her affectionately. “We never realised that you had grown so much. Not only in years but also as a great scientist.” She had bought huge boxes of sweets and asked her driver to distribute it in the entire locality. “You’ll be going to Delhi to receive that award? Oh my!” She gushed excitedly. “Yes, I guess the adoption formalities would be complete by then. So you would be accepting that award as my daughter. Oh, you see, just as this adoption work started, you got this great honour. So how lucky this adoption is for you,” she beamed proudly.

But as soon as Mala left, Sanjee’s mother burst out, “What nonsense! You got the award just because now you are going to be her daughter! Ever heard of such rubbish? Nothing doing, you’ll accept that award as our child. And also the award money.” And that was just the beginning of bitter underlying currents. Outwardly, everything was very sweet and nice. But behind each other’s back, the bickering continued to grow louder and more resentful. Mala maasi suggested why couldn’t Sanjee move to her house now itself — why wait till the sanction of the adoption papers? As such, she was taking maasaji’s help to deal with approaching companies. When media people asked for her interview, it was mostly done in Mala Maasi’s house, so then why not move totally? On the other hand, her parents disliked it and tried to coax her into doing everything from their home. “Why do you ask your Jeetu maasa everything?” her father would say, “He may be good at his work, but for this help we can appoint some professional manager.”

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s these cold vibes continued to grow, Sanjee grew more and more sad. What was wrong with her families? All were hers and she belonged to them, then why these uncalled for fights? At first, she thought that it was just the initial reaction due to the sudden shock. Soon, both the families would forget this silly rivalry and become one as before. But there were no such signs of changes. “Now, the party would be on an even more grand scale,” Mala maasi got busy with her new plans, “This bungalow wouldn’t be sufficient... a five-star hotel, may be? We’d play the video recording of you receiving the award. You know, Sanjee, your family needs the money, so you give them all your award cash, and whatever you get for your invention. Who needs the money here? You are our precious possession.” “Stuffing our mouths with money? What do they think? How can anyone forget that she is our daughter, after all?” her family would go on ranting. Both the families had gathered in Sanjee’s small, two-room house. They were no more at ease with each other. They were getting restless with each passing minute. “Why has she called us here?” Mala maasi murmured. “And then why hasn’t she turned up?” Just then Sanjee entered the house with a handsome young man by her side. Everyone was about to start talking at once, but looking at the stranger with her, they were all a bit subdued. When no one said anything, Sanjee cleared her throat and spoke, “I have called someone with me and I want to introduce him to you all. He is Nihal

‘

laughed and said, “I guess it serves us right. We were all behaving... er... not in a right way and beti, even being younger, you showed us elders how wrong we were. Now, my only request is, no need to get married so hastily. You receive your award in whichever way you wish. And then we’ll... we all together... will celebrate your marriage. Is that okay with you? Now please smile or else this young man would have a terrible first impression of his double in-laws...” Sanjee flopped down, totally relieved of all tensions, as everyone laughed and greeted Nihal. We

To be sure about Purity use

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‘

Kumar, my senior at the institute. He... well, we would like to get your blessings as we’ve decided to get married. Our simple marriage ceremony would take place on the morning of the award function. And I would receive the award as Mrs Nihal Kumar.” Shocked by this revelation, nobody could say a word, and then suddenly all started talking at once, “What is this?” “How could you.” “No, this can’t be true!” Sanjee tried to stop them and then spoke in a soft voice, “I know it’s a shock. I’m sorry, but I had no other go... oh... I know I’m too young and have no right to talk to all my elders who have always given me so much love. But that same love has given me the strength to speak today. Please, try to understand me. I don’t know why all these differences have come up all of a sudden. Was it because of my adoption or because of my award? But, whatever the reason, it really pained me a lot to see my families, my people, drifting apart like this. It really made me very sad and so I had to take this step. I hope at least now there won’t be any fights over anything. I hope I would get my loving families back.” Nobody spoke as everybody was stunned. Then Mala maasi broke the uneasy silence as she

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Traditionally corporate: Diary, planner, presentation folder, pen stand, mobile case in red having traditional figures.

Go the corporate way: Executive organisers in different hues.

Red is in: Purses in red with different compartments for keeping credit or ATM cards or I-card.

Brown beauties: Folders in different tones of brown with appealing visual appearance!

Executive touch: Office bags enough to accommodate files, documents and other accessories.

Orange orders: Wallets and purses in hues of orange to keep your cards, passport etc.

Leather luxury: Luggage bag and trolley bags to make your official journey a pleasure.

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Magical black: Black purse with different compartments to hold cards, passport etc.

hospital set-up. Here, we do not see these diseases very commonly, but they are there. In a big government hospital set-up, we see patients with these diseases every third or fourth day. These are blistering disorders like pemphigus. Other than these, there is a whole range of connective tissue disorders or auto-immune disorders like lupus erythematoses and scleroderma. Then there is a whole range of disorders because of leprosy. It can be anything from a mild initial stage to involving many areas. Then there is a whole range of sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, herpes and many manifestations associated with HIV. Also, there are some pigmentation diseases for which patients come for consultation. Then there are also vitamin deficiencies, which show up on the skin. Each disease has its own site, but we try to reach a diagnosis depending on various factors of which location also plays a major role. For example, a drug eruption can be very generalised, it can be on the entire body or just the mucosal area, the oral, ophthalmic or the genital areas.

What are the signs and symptoms of these diseases? What is the right time to go to the doctor? Ideally, any skin rash which is not responding to over-the-counter drugs, beyond a week, it is advisable to visit a dermatologist, because this is a very vast branch. There are so many diseases that mimic other diseases. They may look the same but they may not be the same. And the sad part is there are so many medications that combine everything – an anti-bacterial, an anti-fungal and a steroid. The other thing you have to take care of is when a lesion starts oozing, there is excessive itching, there is any mucosal lesion with a rash-like oral ulcer for a long time, if there are systemic complaints like a rash with fever, rash with joint pain, a rash which is tender. These symptoms should not be neglected because 146

there is systemic involvement, which is something more than skin involvement. Also, one should look out for sudden changes in a mole which may have been there for a long time – if it starts showing changes, especially in the middle age, like increase in size or change in shape or texture or ulceration on the mole, then this should be taken seriously.

What exactly is an ulcer in terms of skin? An ulcer appears when the superficial surface gives away – i.e., when there is a wound there. The overlying skin goes off and we see the underlying tissues. If it is very superficial, we call it an erosion. If it is deeper – i.e., there is caving in – then it is an ulcer. If a mole starts showing these changes, then it has to be treated. These can be early signs of melanoma, which could become very aggressive if taken lightly. Any new appearance or growth, in ages above 12 years, especially in people who are exposed to too much sun or chemicals, needs to be attended to. The appearance of these growing lesions means you cannot afford to wait, visit a dermatologist since this could be the beginning of skin carcinoma. Why do these diseases occur? Each of these disorders have different causes: ● Infections: It depends on the hygiene levels. Fungal and bacterial infections most commonly are because of unhygienic conditions, sweating or moisture accumulation or patients are exposed to people having these diseases, especially in the case of children. A viral infection like herpes zoster is because of altered immunity. The common name is nagin or shingles because blisters appear along one nerve. There are several other types of herpes – for example one can get herpes around the mouth called herpes labialis. ● Pigmentation and acne may be due to hormonal changes. ● Stress may play a major role in disorders like alopecia, pigmentary Woman’s Era

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disorders and psoriasis. ● Eczemas can be due to something which has been applied or something they have come into contact with or again an altered immunity, like childhood eczema is more immune-based rather than anything they come into contact with. ● Drug eruptions are due to any drugs the patient is sensitive to. ● Scleroderma and systemic lupus erythematoses are due to altered immunity.

Why is immunity affected? No cause has been discovered till now. Genetically, these people have more predilection or they have a greater tendency to get these diseases. A particular HLA type may have a greater tendency. What kind of treatment is recommended in the case of these diseases? Mostly oral and topical treatment is recommended. Usually, injections are not given. But there are disorders where one may have to be given injections. If it is an excessively severe infection, then injections come into the picture. Or in diseases like pemphigus, lupus erythematoses, scleroderma, severe drug eruptions like Stevens Johnson syndrome. that is when the patient is admitted and goes through the treatment. What is pulse therapy? For example, in pemphigus, the major line of treatment is steroids. You can give the patient steroids every day. Associated with steroids are side effects. This has to go on for months. By the end of it, pemphigus is healed but the patient bears the brunt of the side effects of steroids. Of course, some of these side effects are not irreversible. In the past few years, we have tried to reduce the side effects of steroids by pulse therapy. Injectable steroids or injectable immuno-suppressants are given to the patients over a period of three days. After that, we try to keep the patient off steroids or give them milder immuno-suppressants to save

them from too many side effects of steroids. Of course, there will be some, but not as severe as when a daily dose of steroids is given. This is to get better control over the disease. Studies are still being carried out on this therapy. Some people agree with it, others don’t. The patient has to be admitted for three days and then let go for a few days. In some places, they are doing it in day-care centres, where the patient can return home after the day’s therapy.

Is surgery necessary in any disease? When? In which disease? Right now dermato-surgery is done other than for cosmetic requirements, in case of: ● Loss of pigmentation like vitiligo. We do grafting in stable vitiligo, when the patient has a patch which is not responding to medicines. A newer technique is to harvest pigment giving cells called melanocytes from the patient in the laboratory and put it back into the skin of the patient and stimulate their growth. ● Dermato-surgery may also involve electrocautering i.e., cauterisation or radiofrequency. It is used to treat warts or molluscum, a viral infection common in children. ● Then you have nail surgery, especially of ingrown nails or if a nail is destroyed by fungal infection. ● Hair implantation is another type of surgery. ● Surgery for acne scars are also done. We try to raise the underlying fibrous tissue by needling. ● We also remove tattoos by grafting or by dermaabrasion. ● Laser surgery is used in the case of excessive hair growth on the face, etc. ● When there is nerve involvement like in leprosy, a plastic surgeon does the surgery. We

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About the artist Name: Bini Roy Birth: Kothamagalam, Kerala Education: BFA in painting from College of Fine Arts, Trivendrum Solo Shows AIFACS, New Delhi, Triveni Kala Sangam, New Delhi, 2008 ISKA, Cochin, Kerala, 2008 Lalit Kala Akademy, New Delhi, 2007 Lalit Kala Akademy, Kochi, 2006 Lalit Kala Akademy, Trivendrum, 2005 Le Royale, Phnom Penh, Cambodia, 2001 Awards State award for painting from Lalit Kala Akademy 2003 for Three Widows Collections Bini’s works are with private collectors and corporate houses in India and abroad.

AN ARTIST OF

PASSION An artist from ‘God’s Own Country’ reviews her dedication to the creations of nature. By Our Correspondent ini Roy’s restrained but powerful strokes of aesthetic articulations have firm roots in nature and social realism. The figures in her works summon hope, despite the surrounding gloom. Her personal vision seems to be successfully emulated in her works. And it is particularly feminine and positively spirited. Her voyages during the past

B

decade, particularly to South East Asia, have had much say in the evolution of her work and style. Bini is simple and straightforward in the natural selection of very feminine imageries. An onlooker compulsively falls into conversation with the lines, colours and forms of Bini’s paintings. This is the power of her art. There is an ever-deepening experience and a poetic contemplation to be experienced when viewing her works. Excerpts from an interview:

When did you realise that you should be an artist? I think I am born for art. Since my early childhood I had a passion for painting. At an age when most of the kids would be involved in normal activities, I found myself fascinated by colourful nature around me. The blue sky, white, cotton-like clouds, a heavy downpour, green expanses of countryside in Kerala, the seashore, with innumerable coconut trees, flowers, butterflies, bumble bees, etc. – all fascinated me beyond imagination. Since those days, I found myself a high engrossed in drawing sketches on whatever piece of paper I could get, and even on my palms. So to say, I realised quite early that I should be an artist.

A woman shoulders in centrality, multi-layered responsibilities – be in the form of a mother, wife or daughter, remains vulnerable, endures all sufferings heaped on her.

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