Who_am_i_mickaela_secretario.docx

Secretario, Mickaela Leigh M.

BSA-1A

Who Am I? Sitting in my four cornered room, I looked at myself in the mirror and asked, “Who are you Mickaela?”. It was a simple question, yet I do not know what to respond. And then all the memories played back inside my head. For the past 4 years, it has been a rollercoaster ride for me, specifically to my personality. A lot of things happened - glorious memories, worst experiences, emotional events and every other thing that I was not expecting to happen. Fourteen. Last year of being a high school student. I was the youngest in our year level which made me like the ‘baby’ of the class. Everyone treated me as if I was their kid back then, and although it sounds annoying, it was pleasing and overwhelming since I enjoyed having attention and love from other people. I belonged to a huge circle of friends and I was one of the lives of the parties of the group. My parents, especially my dad rarely gets home so I enjoy more being outside and socializing than staying inside the house all day long. I was known as a positive and enthusiastic person who always seek for good things even when it feels impossible. I was a sunflower that even in the darkest days, I stand tall and always try to bring sunshine to everyone. I was that person, until we moved away. Sixteen. My family decided to move with my dad in Australia. Thousand miles away from home, I thought coping in a new environment was going to be a piece of cake. I was extremely excited about the place until I went back to high school. It was the first day of me as a high school student again. I remember sitting in a bench whilst waiting for the flag ceremony or ‘parade’ as we call it. As I observed everyone walked pass in front of me, I saw their faces reacting and looking at me like it was the first time they saw an Asian looking type of person. Some were laughing, some were looking at me from head to toe, and most were whispering to each other. And there, in that moment, I knew it was going to be different. I knew I had to say goodbye to my outgoing personality I’ve had before. Days and months have passed, I didn’t have any friends, not even one, and chose to be alone every day. It was a small town where everyone knows everyone, and which where racism was into extreme. And so, because of this, I created a wall and distanced myself from people. The joyful Mickaela turned into a nobody. The sunflower that I used to be turned into a wallflower who just stayed behind the sunshine. Every day was like a nightmare. Every step I take to go to that school was like a trip to hell where you really are disgusted to go but you have no any other options. It was terrible and terrifying. Unlike before, I do not talk anymore and only speak when necessary. In lunch times, instead of eating with a humongous circle of friends and sharing food, I now sit alone in a corner with a book and a sandwich. My

Secretario, Mickaela Leigh M.

BSA-1A

life started revolving around school works and house chores. I rarely go outside and hangout with others and isolate myself from people. I became socially awkward and unfortunately got depressed. Every day of the three years I stayed in that town was just a routine of those acts. Nineteen. I moved back to my home. Whenever I tell my experiences to others, they always say that I wasted three years of my life living overseas. However, for me, it was the best and worst chapter of my life as there are lots of things I realized: Through those experiences, I learned more about myself and life in general. I discovered that I really am a strong and a tough person who is not afraid of any difficulties anymore. Now, I see challenges in life as things that make life interesting and that overcoming them is what truly is meaningful. I also learned that I should always put myself into the shoes of others in order to understand them. Also, I have found out who I really am. I realized that I truly enjoy my own company and that I do like being alone. I discovered that I was the type of person that stays positive at all costs and keep on going even when quitting seems like a better option. My mind became more opened to things and ideas in the society. I now tend to consider other’s perspectives before expressing my opinions because as much as possible, I do not want to hurt anyone. In conclusion, we humans have different ways of discovering our own personalities. Luckily, I had the chance to move away and get out of my comfort zone which enabled me to know myself more than I used to. Challenges and difficulties in life is what makes us, and I think that is where we are all going to determine what kind of person are we.