What Just Happened

"What??? When?? How?" - This was the consistent reaction I would get from my friends whenever I would mention Bonnie to them for the first time. "What happened to you?" - That was another reaction I got, but that was by far and few, though existent. When inquired, I came to know that she had, if not same, but similar experience Hers was more of a "How did you guys end up together?” So without further delay, here is our story...

by Premjit Adhikary

Preface: This is for those who are not accustomed to the customs of Arrange Marriage in India. Rest of you can continue with the story. Arrange Marriage in India has been prevalent from pre-historic ages, or at least as far as I know. With such a long history, it is no surprise that nowadays it has become extremely efficient in making sure that candidates involved are right for each other. I will try to break down into stages at what exactly happens. It’s going to look like some algorithm once you start reading it, but being in software I can’t help it, please bear with me: Stage 1: Parents search for a suitable family to wed their daughter in, and on the son's side, parents search for a suitable girl to welcome in their family. This can happen in numerous ways. They may go ahead for their friend’s son/daughter, a friend of a friend's son/daughter, a friend of a relative's or relative of a friend's son/daughter (my case). If no suitable match is found, parents take the next alternative, which is to go to an agency specializing in match making. These agencies have an immense database of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes from which the selection happens. Nowadays with the internet boom, parents have found another alternative, register on some of the online match maker sites, search for suitors, or wait to be picked up by someone (I know a few friends of mine who are enrolled, pretty sure it was against their will). Stage 2: In this stage the family is picked, now it’s time for the meeting. This usually involves the son and family receiving an invitation from the girl's family for lunch or evening tea. Elaborate preparations are done from both families to put up the best impression possible. This becomes all the more crucial if the parents are not acquainted (the agency or online match). Here the boy will meet the girl under the watchful eyes of their parents. They would be allowed some 'lone' time to talk (We never had the opportunity to experience this). Stage 3: In case stage 2 is successful, the girl and the boy would meet again, not under the watchful eyes of their parents, more than once (We had enough opportunity to experience this). They would try to learn more about each other etc etc. Basically they would start dating. Usually a time frame is allotted by when the decision has to be given to the parents. If it’s a yes, we stop here, if no then loop back to Stage 1. Nowadays, they have implemented threading, in the sense, more than one suitor is selected at a time and multi-dating is done. Saves time, moreover you even get to compare. The rejection might even happen at Stage 2 (fact - while she was the first one selected for me, she did get to reject quite a number of candidates by stage 2 before she met me).

The Characters Main Characters Bonnie

Heroine of this story. Also known as Bandita Rabha Patowary. I can go on forever, so I will just stop here...

Putai

I am Premjit Adhikary, the hero of my story. Again, I can go on forever, so again, I will just stop here.

Supporting Characters Bapi

Also known as Promod Kumar Adhikary. People say I look like him. Really? I mean really really?? He is the one who started this story. I am grateful to him for that.

Bonnie Papa

Father of the bride. Also known as Pranjit Patowary. Known for his iron discipline and immense strictness. One of his dreams - that I will exercise and become fat free someday. Fat chance of that happening.

Bonnie Ma

Mother of the bride. Also known as Dipali Rabha Patowary. Known for her chocolate cakes and hospitality. She has a weakness that she can’t say no to anyone.

Brahma Uncle / Moha

A very old (his age is not being referred here) and dear friend of Bapi. I have known him from as long as I can remember. And as long as I can remember, he would always treat me to all kinds of ice-creams, pastries and sweets whenever I would be with him.

Brahma Aunty / Mahi

Younger sister of Bonnie Ma and wife of Brahma uncle. I have known her for years too, if not as long as I can remember, but close.

Ripon

Cousin of the bride. Nice guy. Has immense role in convincing the bride’s family about my credibility (I do believe that has something to do with the number of animes I have introduced him to).

Bonus Character Babu

Brother of the bride, my Sala. Also known as Anshuman Patowary. He has no role in this story, but since he would cry if I don't mention him at least somewhere, I decided to add him here. Don't mind him.

The Initiation Jan 2007, Guwahati: Bapi and Bonnie Papa are seated on opposite sides of the table. On the table is a bottle of whisky, two glasses and a bottle of soda (or maybe water, I am not sure). Both knew that they had to talk. Both knew about what. But no one was talking. It all started a month back. Brahma uncle had to go to his family get together and he pulled Bapi along with him. This is where Bapi came across Bonnie. For some reason (I don't know what) he was impressed by her hospitality. Once back in Kaziranga (a national park in Assam where Brahma uncle stays), he asked aunty about her. She naturally gave in all the details, daughter of her elder sister, born and brought up in Guwahati, Commerce background, very homely etc etc. That’s when Bapi mentioned, again over drinks, to uncle and aunty about our match. Naturally aunty had conveyed that message across to Bonnie Papa. Sometime in March I got a surprise call from aunty (surprise because she never calls me). After the initial formalities of "How are you?" and "I am fine thank you" she came straight to the point. Simple question about whether I am seeing someone or not currently. Simple but hard hitting, even more so because I didn't know where the answer would lead to (till this point I was ignorant about what my father was cooking up back in Assam). I went on defensive and asked why does she require that information. She explained the situation, while I tried my best to keep calm. Maintaining my calm, with a lot of difficulty I might add, I thanked her for the call, bid her good night, and hung up. Next instant I found myself dialing Bapi. (with a little color coding to help readers understand who was saying what) Bapi: Hello?? Putai: What are you up to?? What? I just got a call from Brahma aunty, and she was asking me about my relationship status... Oh that, heh heh, I was about to call you regarding that But you didn't. And who told you I wanted to marry? But you do want to, don't you? Not now!!! May I dare ask when? After 30! Why after 30? Why not? Moreover that's what's written in my horoscope, I will get married after 30. No, it’s not AFTER 30, its BY 30. Whatever, there is still many more years to 30. Why not now? Because I am not ready to get married! Oh but you are ready! That's what you said the day I got out of engineering college! Ok, ok, maybe you ready, maybe you are not, who am I to judge?

What? Is there any harm in meeting the girl once? I don't believe it! (even aunty said the same thing; do they have a script prepared or something?) You are coming to Assam this April right? We will go and meet them. Oh, come on!! Nobody is forcing you to marry her, you will just meet, if you don’t like her just say no and that's it. So I say no and that's it? No hard feelings? (I will definitely say no then) Sure! So it’s settled then. I will call them up and we will fix a date when we can go and meet them in Guwahati. You will come to Guwahati? (you never come to Guwahati to meet me!) Yes, I will meet you in Guwahati, we will go visit them at their place, and next day both of us will travel together to our village. That serious huh? Usually you would simply tell me to reach the village as soon as possible!!

First Contact Month long vacation over today, back to office from tomorrow. I was having difficulty in accepting that fact. Too tired from the trip back, I somehow had just finished unpacking when... Tringg Tringg... (I always keep my phone on silent, so this is not how my phone sounds; the 'Tringg' is just for dramatic effect) (color coded again) Putai: Hello? Mahi: Putai... Brahma Aunty here! Hello Aunty! How are you? Not very good actually, feeling a bit feverish... Yeah yeah, listen, I need to talk to you Huh?? Ok, about what? (that was rude, didn’t even let me finish the sentence) About 2nd May. You were supposed to show up and you didn't. Er... aah... (I knew this would come up) What happened that day? Why didn't you come? Huh?? er... Actually Bapi was supposed to come to Guwahati but then due to the Transport Strike... Why didn't he call us? Huh? I er... (how would I know?) He didn't call us! I did ask him to call you people and explain the situation... I don't think it was intentional; anyways what’s done is done. Right right, no point crying over spilled milk. What are you talking about? What milk? Huh?? er... nothing! Here talk to Bonnie. What? no wait, aunty.... (I don't want to face her...) I could hear their conversation on the other side... Mahi: Talk to him Bonnie: Why would I talk to him? Why wouldn't you talk to him? Because I don't want to talk to him! But I want you to talk to him! Then you talk to him! What? How does that make sense? I don't know, I don't care Take the phone! No...

Take it!! NO!! This continued a few times... Bonnie: Hello? Putai: Hi Yes Yes... um... listen, about that day... Thats ok, just forget it. What? Really?? (Awesome, I am off the hook) Yeah sure, I know it was not your fault and there was a miscommunication Right right Anyways, there's no use crying over spilt milk Thats what I just said! What? Nothing! So we are cool? You are not angry? Now I am ok, though i was angry back then. Yes, thats quite natural Right, if you find that someone just stood you up, what would you feel? Naturally angry Right, and this was not just me, but my whole family Right, now why do I have a feeling that there is still a little bit of grudge left? (I take it back, I still on hook) No, no, its ok now I dont think so, hidden in some corner of your mind, it’s still there. No no. Its there, lets do one thing... No we are NOT doing anything! Just hear me out please... (why doesn't anyone let me finish my sentences??) What? I don't want you to keep that grudge any longer I don't have any grudge Yes i can see that, listen to me, lets do this... Lets do what? Let me finish!!?? Go on... Ok, let’s keep quiet for two minutes, you gather all your thoughts, then you yell out all your frustration. I don’t think... Just listen to me once, believe me when I say that will clear out all this misunderstanding and then we can have a fresh start. But... Two minutes and then you can speak... After two minutes of silence

Putai: Two minutes up, now shoot Bonnie: Ok, first of all I felt insulted Ok I mean, its ok if you say that you dont like me, but at least you can come and meet?? Ok It was not just my parents, but even few of my relatives had come, they were so disappointed! We were all so disappointed!! Ok My parents had prepared so much for that day, all for nothing... Ok My mother worked so hard to cook so many delicacies... Like what? What? Like what delicacies? Oh, let’s see, there was chicken, then shrimp, and fruit salad, then... wait a minute, that’s not the point, No, i got your point, your mothers hard work was for a waste, next point? Yes there are many more points, I can go on forever Please do, I am here to listen to all of them My father had to take leave to come down to Guwahati for this event. Ok... next... Um... er... let’s see... I guess that's it That's it? Sure? I felt insulted, my parents worked so hard in-vain, yes, that's about it Ok good! Now... are you feeling better? Hate to admit it, but actually I do! See?? Didn't I tell you it will work wonders? (Score!!!) Not wonders, but it did relieve me. That’s good enough! Now, I wont be giving you any excuses but just my apologies for not able to make that date Oh!!! So NOW are we cool? I guess... Cool, now chicken, shrimp, fruit salad, what else was in that menu again???

Love (??) at First Sight I would get missed calls from her at odd hours (coincidentally when I would be in meetings and all). Obviously I would return her call, though only after I reach home, after all, cant let anything interrupt my work right (hope my manager reads this). She would be a bit surprised after picking my call and I would be like "I thought you wanted to talk to me??" Later I came to know that it was Mahi who would stealthily steal her mobile to give me a missed call. She also mentioned that Mahi had showed her my photographs from schooldays. I assured her that I look nothing like that now (gained breadth-wise, lost hair-wise). After sometime, she actually started calling me (not at odd hours). We would talk for hours. One such fine night... Bonnie: Hello... Putai: Yes??? How was your day? When did you reach home? Yap yap yap??? Yap yap yap!!! Ok, I have a surprise for you! You do? That's a surprise! I am coming to Bangalore! That's (ahem) actually a surprise!! Isn't it? For what reason? Well my education in Guwahati is over, I think it’s time for me to have some exposure to the real world So you are coming job hunting here? Thats one thing, I also want to do join some coaching center for CAT Wow, so when are you coming? Soon... During that time, Bangalore city had suddenly become the center of all rock festivals in India. Local pubs started inviting different bands each week from across the city to perform. Colleges started inviting bands of national level (Parikrama, Bhoomi) at their fests. Kingfisher started organizing Beerfests. Then to top it off, international bands started to come to Bangalore. Roger Waters, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, they had already rocked Bangalore. On 2nd June 07, it was Aerosmith's turn. My friends and I were eagerly waiting for the day to come, tickets ready in our hands. Tringg, Tringg Putai: Hello?? Bonnie: Got my tickets today. I am flying next Saturday. What? I am coming to Bangalore, remember?? Oh, great, next Saturday, alright, wait, isn't next Saturday Jun 2? Yes. Why?

Nothing, nothing, just checking the dates, heh heh, when is your arrival? 2:15. You need to come pick me up. Sure sure, where are you going to stay? Oh, my cousin, Ripon, has already picked out a PG facility for me. Great (I am off the hook there). Do you know where it is? No. Ok, so how am I supposed to take you there? Don’t worry, he is coming to the airport too! He is?? (then what's the point of me going there?) Yes, you can meet him too. Isn’t it fun? Sure, sure... June 2nd... priorities... priorities... I was in constant call with her the whole morning, ok not constant, but calls at frequent intervals. "I just got up" ... "this is the first time I am going so far away from home all alone, I am so scared" ... "Ma made chocolate cake for you and Ripon" ... "packing done, all set to go now" ... "on the way to the airport now" ... "just reached airport" ... "Ma is crying, even I feel like crying" ... "they charged me for extra baggage, they never told me that the limit is so less??" ... "sitting in flight now, she is asking me to switch off my cell" No more status updates for the next few hours. I called up Ripon, no one picked up. As expected of any student of engineering, he was asleep, would not get up before noon, or maybe later. I called up my friends... "Where the hell are you? You are missing helluva party!" As expected, they were getting ready for the show (getting ready means getting high, real high). I thought what the hell am I waiting for? I started pouring myself a shot. By the time Ripon called me up, I was in seventh heaven. I was swaying to and fro in the parking lot of the airport when Ripon (he would later go back to Guwahati to provide feedback about me to the rest of the family) showed up with his girlfriend. After introductions, three of us went in the airport. I didn't talk to them much, rather couldn't, and just sat in a corner, playing some stupid game (Prince of Persia I think) on my mobile. Suddenly I saw these two getting excited, and I knew she was here. I followed their gaze, and there she was... all bright and beaming... the world went white... everything except her went blur... her steps, it was like she was floating towards me... ok, back to reality, nothing such happened. This is what actually happened. As soon as I saw her I started to act cool, don't know why. I pretended that I didn't notice her and was busy playing that stupid game. She came down to Ripon. After their initial chit chat, they pointed me to her. Then she came to me "Hi". I looked up and "Oh, you are here already, hi, didn't notice you there!" Ripon and his girlfriend went ahead on his bike, while we followed in a cab. Pretty soon we got stuck in Bangalore's famous traffic jam. "Traffic and pollution, welcome to present day Bangalore", I said (I thought that was a great opening line then, now when i think of it, it maybe the dorkiest thing I have ever said in my whole life). She looked at me for some time, then said "I guess all major cities are like this". We continued our small talk for sometime then went silent again. It’s interesting, you can talk to someone for hours on phone, but when you actually meet the person for the first, you are suddenly out of words.

Ripon's girlfriend helped her with her luggage and got her settled in her new PG room, guys were not allowed inside. I was just outside the PG gate with Ripon. I looked at the time, already 3 o’clock. "Are you interested in music?", I asked him. "Not that much". He said no? That was unexpected, being a college kid and all, but that also gave me hope (not interested in music = definitely not going to Aerosmith show = I get to go to the concert while he gives Bonnie company). The girls came down after sometime with the chocolate cake (it was great). 3:45. "So what do we do now?", Bonnie asked. This was my cue, I told her about the concert and also the fact that my friends were waiting for me for the whole day to join them and all. I could see that she was not at all impressed by my honesty, but she did let me go (yippee). So not a very good first impression. But I did make up for it by spending the whole Sunday with her. By the way, Ripon did give an awesome feedback to her family about me.

Epilogue The Sunday was the one where we had our ice-breaker if you ask me. After that we just let things flow and make their own way. Of course we tested each other to answer the priceless question "Is he/she the one for me?". Most of our tests were pretty annoying to the one being tested. But we fared well, and now we laugh about it. Well, all stories, be it good or bad, must come to an end. Though this was just the start of our life, the story if you remember is titled "What just happened??". What happened after, that's another huge story (with numerous volumes most likely) aptly titled "What happened after!!" Maybe some other time. Oh, and one more thing, about Bapi and Bonnie Papa sitting across the table sometime in Jan 2007, I still don't know who was the one to start the 'topic'. ~ THE END ~