What Is Conflict?

What is Conflict?

The Nature of Conflict

Course Introduction 

Conflict is a natural, healthy part of any organization and can foster creative thinking.

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It can be, however, painful when not managed productively.

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Can be both functional and dysfunctional

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Conflict should be understood as a process rather than an episode.

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Many causes, including differences in personalities, objectives, recourses, and historical relationships.

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Although many of us understand the value of conflict, we feel uncomfortable when confronted by it.

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This discomfort is due to a lack of understanding of the conflict process as well as from a lack of training in how to handle interpersonal confrontations effectively.

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In this course, we will address these issues by exploring and developing both analytical and behavioral skills for conflict management.

How do you view conflict? Competitive: As a battle to be won?

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Constructive/ Productive

As a problem to be solved?

As a danger?

Your view of conflict determines, to a large extent,whether or not a creative solution will be found.

Destructive/ Unproductive

Creative: As an opportunity?

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Conflict is a naturally occurring outcome when people with different perspectives; priorities and goals interact. 

The presence of conflict is not the fault of one person.

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There is no one to blame.

However, "the way we think about conflict has important implications for the way we act in situations where conflict exists"

your comments……

Conflict Defined 

"Conflict." is a word that causes most of us a great degree of:     

Discomfort, Anger, Frustration, Sadness, and Pain

The dictionary defines "conflict" as 

"a struggle to resist or overcome;

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contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle.

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A state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord.

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A painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and contradictory impulses."

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matter how hard we try to avoid it, conflict periodically creeps up in lives.

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Examples include: 

“A situation in which interdependent people express differences in satisfying their individual needs and interests, and they experience interference from each other in accomplishing these goals” (Nawaz vs. Zardari)

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“Conflict arises when a difference between two or more people necessitates change in at least one person in order for their engagement to continue and develop. (Management vs. workers)

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The differences cannot coexist without some adjustment.”

A simple, useful definition 

Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive: 

incompatible goals, (Me vs. You)

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scarce resources, and

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interference from others in achieving their goals. (American drone attacks in FATA)

Transforming a conflict depends on perceptual or conceptual change in one or more of the parties.

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Perception is at the core of all conflict analysis. 

You must sort out what is actually happening from the perception of what is happening

An Expressed Struggle 

Communication is the central element in all interpersonal conflict: 

Communication behavior often creates conflict

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Communication behavior reflects conflict

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Communication is the vehicle for the productive or destructive management of conflict

Interdependence 

A person who has no special interest in what another does has no conflict with that other person. (Intel vs. CAT) 

In all conflicts, therefore, interdependence carries elements of cooperation and elements of competition. (Collaborate with your competitors)

Interdependence 

Parties decide the extent to which they will operate in an interdependent or independent way  “We are in this together” versus “Doing my own thing” (Zardari vs. others)

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Parties must decide how much they are willing to allow the other party or parties to influence their choices (Pak vs. America)

Perceived Incompatible Goals 

People fight over needs, but often not the ones they SAY they are fighting over (the fight over CJ)

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Whether or not the goals are really incompatible, the perception that they are, is central to all conflict

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Making the real goals clear, and clarifying the value to each party can help move people forward with their relationships

Perceived Scarce Resources 

Resources are defined as “any positively perceived physical, economic, or social consequence.” 

A resource can be anything perceived as valuable and limited– from affection to money to status

Perceived Scarce Resources 

Some resources are truly limited and others more limitless, but it is the perception of the resource and how it is distributed that is important to understand in conflict situations (e.g. Power and Self Esteem)

Interference 

If the presence of another person interferes with desired actions, conflict intensifies

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Parents vs. teenagers – these conflicts often involve this element

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CONFLICT IS BADLY MANAGED or IGNORED?????????????????

WHEN CONFLICT IS BADLY MANAGED or IGNORED, the following often occurs...          

anxiety withdrawal Procrastination helplessness Confusion Denial separation escalation polarization loneliness

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anger loss of productivity resentment high blood pressure stress tiredness Illness broken crockery

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CONFLICT IS MANAGED SKILLFULLY……..

WHEN CONFLICT IS MANAGED SKILLFULLY, the results are different.  a sense of achievement  a sense of smooth running         

comfort Fun vitality happiness openness Efficiency feeling of power relief comradeship

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a sense of expansion Teamwork change Growth expanded relationships Peace relaxation good health restful sleep

Misconceptions about Conflict 

Conflict, if left alone, will take care of itself. Will it?

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Confronting an issue or a person is always unpleasant. Is it?

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Conflict in an organization is a sign of poor management. Oh!

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Anger is always negative and destructive. Well!

The first step…….. 

The first step in resolving conflict is to regard conflict as an opportunity and look for the conflict clues.

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If you learn to recognize the clues of discomfort and incidents and deal with them promptly, you can often save a situation from tension, misunderstanding or crisis.

Understanding the Nature of Conflict 

We have many myths about conflict that directly impact how a person responds to it.

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Let's debunk those myths and look at some of the truths about conflict.

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Conflict is not evil. Conflict occurs naturally when two or more differences (perspectives, intentions, values, goals etc.), collide.

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Conflict is not essentially dangerous. Conflict can be creative. 

When conflict is handled well, the differences between people can lead to better decisions, better solutions and far greater outcomes.

Understanding the Nature of Conflict Conflict is not isolated events. Conflict is part of inter-related 

systems of ideas, interactions and practices, 

Therefore, the quality and outcomes depend on how you and others think, talk, act and feel.

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Conflict is not one "fault" of one party. Looking for someone to blame is a total waste.

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Conflict can be transformed into cooperation. By becoming conscious and shifting how you think, act, communicate and feel, you and others you work with can transform conflict into cooperation.

The Four Conflict Codes are: 1.

The Mindset Code: How people habitually think in the workplace.

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The Behavior Code: How people act toward and with each other at work.

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The Conversation Code: How people communicate with each other and about each other.

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The Emotion Code: The feelings people bring to and cultivate in the workplace.

Destructive Conflict: Individual Communication 

Conflict can be constructive or destructive depending on the context and the communication behaviors exhibited

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There are four communication practices that predict the end of a relationship unless something is done to turn things around

The Four Horses of the Apocalypse  Critical Start-up sets the tone for any conflict

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Defensiveness characterizes destructive conflict

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Stonewalling occurs when one person withdraws from the interaction

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Contempt contributes to destructive conflict

Exercise: Defusing Critical Start-Up  Changing “criticisms” to “complaints 

Let’s think of some critical statements we have experienced from others

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Small Group activity: Choose two critical statements within your group and reframe them into legitimate complaints

Exercise: Hot Words and Phrases Possible Replacements Hot Words/Phrases Replacements Race, colour words, and words related to discrimination Whatever I don't care I don't give a damn I don't want to hear. Threatening sounding words and phrases like "If you don't be quiet I will throw you out" Helplessness phrases like "There's nothing I can do" Challenges & Dares like "Go ahead and try to get me fired", or "My supervisor is just going to say the same thing" Blame or ignorance phrases like "If you paid attention you would", or “Why don't you listen?"

Table 2: Hot Words and Phrases Possible Sample Replacements Hot Words/Phrases

Replacements

Race, colour words, and words related to discrimination

Use background instead of more specific reference to race, colour, and culture.

Whatever I don't care I don't give a damn I don't want to hear.

Replace with non-brush off statements. Use phrases like "It would help me if we could get back to the issue of...."

Threatening sounding words and phrases like "If you don't be quiet I will throw you out"

Replace with assertive limits and consequences phrased in a non-threatening tone

Helplessness phrases like

Try replacing with: "I'm not sure I can help on this one, but let's see what we can figure out."

"There's nothing I can do"

Challenges & Dares like "Go ahead and try to get Replace with phrases that recognise the other me fired", or "My supervisor is just going to person has a right to do what they choose: say the same thing" "You certainly are within your rights to talk to my supervisor" Blame or ignorance phrases like "If you paidAllow face-saving. "Perhaps I didn't explain that attention you would", or “Why don't you very well. I can give it another try if it would listen?" help?"

Destructive Conflict Spirals: Characterized by: 

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Avoidance patterns that reduce the chance for productive conflict Attack/withdraw or Pursue/Flee pattern

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Retaliation

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Inflexibility or rigidity

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A competitive system of dominance and subordination

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Demeaning verbal and nonverbal communication such as ridicule and contempt

Poorly expressed strong emotion Reciprocity of negative emotion

Constructive Conflict 

The purpose of this course is to help you learn to create (and help others create) constructive, healthy conflict

Analysis of Elements of Healthy Conflict The parties express the elements of their struggle clearly 

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Perceptions of interdependence are “checked out” and verified

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Goals that are perceived as incompatible are disclosed to ensure that there really is a conflict

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If resources are scarce, alternatives like sharing or use of other resources are explored

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The perception that parties are blocking or interfering with another’s goals is examined