What Genesis Teaches - 1.3 Helper 47fr

What the Bible Teaches about Marriage:

Man’s Helper * PCJB PP Presentation devised and prepared at Gujranwala Theological Seminary may be copied for non-commercial use only September 2008

The First Gardener At the beginning of human history God made the first man, endowed him with life, and placed him in a garden

Another Lack But there was a problem. Just as there was at first no man to farm the earth, there is another lack: No helper for the man to assist him to look after the garden.

Genesis 2:18 “A Suitable Helper” The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

To Discuss: (Can she cook?)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

• Why was woman created? (Read Gen 2:18-25)

Genesis 2:4-23 Characteristics of “A Helper” Companionable (no longer “alone”)

Congenial (unlike the animals, “bone of my bone”)

Compatible / Complementary (“suitable” “neged”- literally: “like opposite him”)

Genesis 2:18 “Alone” Imagine the scene:

Poor Adam is lonely, and as the wonders of creation are presented before him there is only emptiness inside. The companionship of the dog, goat or horse was entirely insufficient for his needs.

Genesis 2:18 “Alone” Into this drama enters the Creator declaring that this is no use. Thus, woman is created, the answer to the needs of man!

Genesis 2:18 - “Alone” “Genesis 2:18 means it is not good for us to live alienated from one another. God’s solution for overcoming alienation is relationship.” “The primary ground that Genesis offers for basis of marriage is

Man’s Alone-ness So Eve is created as an answer to Adam’s loneliness? Really?....

Think again!

Genesis 2:18 “A Helper” The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper

“To be alone”: Feeling lonely? Or : Needing another to help him? “A helper fit for him” Adam’s observed need: a helper

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” A helper suitable for what? • For removing a feeling of loneliness? (Adam never said he felt lonely!) Or: • For supporting him in the job God had given him, but which he was having to do all by himself?

The Garden Job Quite simply the job is too big for man to do on his own. He needs a “helper”,* not a “companion”! _______________________________________ * One who works alongside so that both together can do the task

Loneliness The remedy for loneliness in the Bible: not the marital bed. Rather, it is: friendship and secure relationships in fellowship.

Loneliness Note: Friendship within a loving marriage can overcome feelings of loneliness., but Scripture never says the purpose of marriage

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” Note:

Non-reversible Task Role (nowhere is the man called the woman’s “helper”!)

But that does not mean a husband should never help his wife in daily living! The “help” refers to the man’s God-

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” Note:

The Hebrew word for “helper” is ezer, and not “ebed” which is a ‘servant’. The woman is to be a helper for man and not a slave to him.

To Discuss:

(Need A Helping Hand?)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

• How do you think a wife should help her husband? • Should a husband be equally helpful towards his wife?

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” Marriage was God’s idea, not man’s. No living creature was suitable for the role Another man was not the answer God only made one “suitable helper” for Adam,

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” Supportive Role While assigned to the man as his “helper” and thus placed under his overall charge, the woman is his partner in ruling the earth for God. Being the man’s “helper” in his God-given task

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” Woman’s Role: Assisting in filling and subduing the earth (procreation and care)

Genesis 2:4-23 “A Helper” ‘ezer (‫( עזר‬

is normally used to describe the aid of God coming to the rescue. To imagine an inferiority when the term normally applies to God is unthinkable! Women are not inferior to men!

Man’s Task God put Adam in the garden to look after it: “To work it and to care for it.” But Adam could not cope with this task “alone”.

Marriage Order Important to distinguish the functioning subordination in role of a wife from an essential equality with her husband before God, since both are made in God’s

To Discuss:

(“A mere woman!”)

• Why are women treated as inferior in conservative society?

Genesis 2:19-20

The Naming of the Living Creatures or

The Search for a Helper Now the Lord had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them,

Naming • In the Semitic culture, the act of "naming" is an indication of lordship.

Genesis 2:21-22 So the Lord caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man,

Genesis 2:23 The man said, “This is now [or: at last] bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.”

Names: Generic & Given • The generic name of both man and woman, not their given names. • The name of "man", in Hebrew, is “ish". • The name of "woman" is “ishah". • “ishah" indicates that woman was taken from man,

To Discuss:

(“Women Can’t get along with them, Can’t do without them!” – Anon male!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why Woman? • What is it about woman that answers the incompleteness of man? What is it that makes what is not good into something which is?

Why Woman? The Hebrew word for the compatibility of women, literally translates as ‘like opposite him’. Not the same but the counterpart, the complementary partner in the enterprise given to man.

Why Woman? Not a case of two being better than one; (Another man would have been more useful for manual labour!) There is something unique between the man and the woman that fulfils the task. The unique relationship of vs.24, which includes sex as part of the

To Discuss: (She’s Special!)

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Which of the following do you think describe the woman’s relationship to her husband as described in Genesis 1 & 2? • Assisting • Complementary • Equal • Partnering • Subordinate

The Making of Eve: Equality and Distinctiveness From Adam’s Rib “Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” (Matthew Henry)

Compare: ‘God did not make a woman out of a bone of Adam’s foot, so that he should tread her underground, nor out of a bone of his head, so that she should dominate him; but he made her out of his rib, which is close to his heart, to teach him to love her

Genesis 2:23-24

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. and they will become one flesh.

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Loyalties The necessity of a radical change in family loyalty: The husband should transfer to his wife the primary loyalty that previously he had to his parents.

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Bonds A New Family • Leave the parental influence (“Leave mother and father”)

• Create a new family unit (“be united with his wife”)

• Form a new physical bond (“become one flesh”)

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Bonds The New Relationship Gen 2:24 quoted by Jesus (Mat 19:5)

Note on

“be united with his wife”: Includes a sense of • New loyalty • Deep affection (Hebrew dâbaq: to cling on to each other; keep close to)

• Permanent bonding. (Greek Kollao: to join fast together, to glue,

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Bonds Permanent bonding. (“glue”, “cement”)

All fear of any later marriage breakup groundless if both remain faithful, not just to each other, but to their common task.

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Security Note: • The husband’s responsibility to give pre-eminence to his wife rather than his parents because a wife's sense of security naturally comes from

Marriage involves A Re-forming of Security • When a husband cleaves to his wife, a wife will continue to find her fulfilment in her relationship with him, rather than trying to find it in relationship with her children.

To Discuss: Loyalties

(Oh, that Mother-in-law of mine!)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What should a husband do when his relationship with his wife is being spoiled by his mother (particularly if this son is an only child)? • Ignore the problem and hope it will go away in time? • Have a frank, but loving, talk with his mother, making it clear that – his wife comes first in his affections, and that

Equality and Distinctiveness The man and the woman are jointly charged with ruling the earth representatively for God. Yet they do so each as fulfilling their God-ordained, genderspecific roles

Equality and Distinctiveness

“Since these functional differences are part of the Creator’s design, it is only when men and women embrace their God-ordained roles that they will be truly fulfilled and that God’s creational wisdom will be fully displayed and

Next Session

Sex

Sex A delicate subject? The Bible is full of it – good and bad sex! So Christians should not be embarrassed by it! Provided, of course, they

The End