Values Of Love - Speak Good Words

Unit Two

Speak Good Words

Objectives 1.

Discuss how we can bring about friendship. Use this song:

It’s so easy to be friends It’s so easy to do. You care for me I care for you. Ask the children to bring up more ideas and substitute ‘care’ with other words such as: swim, run, eat, sleep ….. Do they bring up any ideas related to speech and listening?

2.

How can words help make friendship and peace? Do the children know about the magic of the words they speak? Do they have any example how words made them lose their friends? How do words from other people affect them?

3.

Then discuss the power of listening. Do they feel their parents have time to listen to them? Do the children always listen to what parents say?

4.

Learn the basic habits of good language:  I do what I say.  I can say what I think.  I am polite.

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I don’t lie. I can admit my mistake.

Pictures to talk about Describe the situations. Can speaking good words solve their problems?

Parents

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A Wrinkled Heart I do an activity with my kids that runs along the lines of this "tale". With the kids seated on the floor I start talking about the difference in the things we say that make people feel good or that hurt them. While talking I am cutting out a big heart. After I have it cut out, I hold it up and tell the kids that each one of us starts out with a heart that is as pretty as this one. I ask the kids to start telling me things that a person might say that might hurt another person's feelings. With each response, I fold the heart (any direction....just put a fold in it). Eventually the heart is crumpled in my hands. I tell the children that each time they say something hurtful to someone, they are putting a little wrinkle in that person's heart. We talk about how someone's heart might begin to look like this crumpled heart if people continue to say mean things to them. I then have the kids start to tell me things that they might say to someone to make that person feel good. With each response, I unfold one of the creases in the heart. Eventually I have pressed out all of the "hurts"....except, of course, for the fact that the wrinkles can still be seen, even though the heart is now all the way unfolded. We talk about how we each have those wrinkles in our hearts from things that people have said to us, and how we want to be careful with what we say so as to not add more wrinkles to anyone's heart. We put that heart up in a high corner of a bulletin board and leave it in plain view all year. Frequently someone will mention it....that their heart is wrinkled like that one, etc. It serves as a great reminder all year long. Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Benjamin Franklin

Beaver and the Bear School 1. Superbunny was sitting by the river, daydreaming and enjoying the sun. Suddenly he heard a loud noise. It was the Bears. They were shouting. Drmamdrmamdramadmramamdaremam,,… 2. ‘What are you doing here?’ asked Superbunny. Bear was angry. ‘Our school is flooded. We can’t go to school. The Beaver did it on purpose! It is terrible. Drmamdrmamdramadmramamdaremam, Superbunny, you must help us.’ 3. Superbunny sighed. He didn’t like bad words and said, ‘Let me see what happened and then see how we can solve the problem.’ He got on the back of woodpecker and flew off to the Bear school. 4. There he saw Beaver. He was working very hard, making his house. Superbunny asked, ‘Beaver, do you know that the Bears are very angry? They say you flooded their school and are doing very bad things.’ 5. Beaver said, ‘Me bad? You are joking! I’m just making my house. And look everybody is happy! Dragonfly, Turtle, Crocodile, Fish, Egret, they all like me very much.’ Just then the Bears came. ‘You Drmamdrmamdramadmramamdaremam,,…… … They shouted again. 6. Superbunny stopped them. ‘Don’t argue anymore, this will only bring us more trouble. Come with me and sit down and let’s find out what the problem is and what we can do to solve it. 7. Superbunny said, ‘When you do something, it must be good for everybody.’ Beaver admitted that he was sorry for giving trouble to the Bears. But he had wished they had talked to him nicely before shouting at him. He said he could build a new school easily. 8. Beaver built a new school for Bear. The Bears were very happy and shook Beaver’s hands. The school was very beautiful. Superbunny smiled too. ‘It’s easy to be friends, if we speak nicely.’

Questions to discuss  Bear was very upset about Beaver. Do you understand why?  Was Beaver really so bad?  Do you think Bear judged Beaver too early?  Could the Bears have avoided the problem?  Was it easy to find a solution to their problem?  What would have happened if Superbunny hadn’t done anything?  If there had been a fight, what would have happened then?

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Can you always tell others how you feel? Do you easily fire up when people attack you? Do you know which things are your ‘trigger points’?

Ideas for movement and dance for dramatizing the story Children look for their own place in the classroom space. Then start to tell and act out the story. 1. Superbunny is enjoying the beauty of nature: Roll on the floor 2. The Bears are angry and shouting: sit and stamp your feet to express the Bears. 3. Superbunny asks the Bears to be quiet: mime quiet feeling and show Superbunny and Woodpecker fly off.

4. Superbunny and Beaver are talking nicely. – Mime and act out a discussion. 5. Bears arrive - sit and stamp your feet to express the Bears. Use your hands to clap on the floor to express the Beaver. 6. Increase crescendo as the argument increases in intensity. 7. Superbunny jumps and breaks the argument with a clapping of his hands. Sing any of the songs about words (Let’s talk, talk, talk…. Or There are some words,)

8. Mime a discussion with finger pointing and slowly cooling of the emotional temperature. 9. The smiling and hand shaking of friendship, Sing It’s so easy to be friends.

Talking makes Friends - I can say what I think. Use the example of a volcano: it can release steam slowly and also burst all of a sudden. Talking is like a slow release. A sudden eruption is like the violence we see in the world. It is not always easy to talk about our feelings but it is necessary if we want to find peace.

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Anger often leads to shouting. Shouting may lead to pushing, Pushing to fighting and hitting and this will lead to A new problem.

This is called the “Anger Escalator”

Talk about feelings One way to stop climbing the anger escalator is to learn to talk out your feelings. It is not bad to tell somebody what you feel, even if it is not very nice, as long as you say it in a nice way.

It is also good to understand that many people say they are okay when they are really not okay. You can help them release their feelings and this way bring about peacefulness and love. Listen to this song on your CD:

Once I saw a cat, who was angry I saw that. But he did not tell What was wrong So I sang him this song: Let’s talk, talk, talk So we understand Let’s talk, talk, talk How we can be friends. She wanted to fight And hit me on my head I thought that was not right And again I said: Chorus Finally she told me Her feelings inside And though I could not help Talking helped her anger subside.

Role play – Learn to Cool Down Many problems become big arguments because of talking without thinking. That’s why people say somebody has a poisonous tongue; it may mean that the words they speak make others upset and hate others. This can happen because people may be selfish and overcome by anger and greed which often take away our ability of making rational judgments. One way to contain these strong emotions and drives is to develop the habit of this ‘Cool Down’ habit . When you’re angry Or mad Fearful or sad, Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in Breathe out Do it one more time And think Think, think (Breathe in) of the best way out. (breathe out) This rhyme gives you time to think before you decide how to respond to any provocation. Practice this in role plays. - Somebody bumps into you. - Fight over a chair. - People don’t want to share toys. - One eats the other’s candy Each time, use about ten seconds to come up with a win-win solution.

If speaking is silver, silence is gold Some words can solve a problem, and sometimes it is better to keep quiet. That’s why people say, ‘If speaking is silver, silence is gold.’ Certainly that was true in the fable of Crow and thePiece of Cheese and so it applies to the following tale:

The Talkative Turtle A turtle liked to talk. He talked in the day. He talked in the night. He talked to the left. And he talked to the right.

hear, No one who could help or even hear.

He never stopped. He talked and talked away, Even if there was no one To hear what he had to say.

Till two geese flew by, Who said, ‘Let us carry you up so high.’ ‘Bite in this stick, And please don’t talk as we fly.’

And because he talked and talked At no end, He didn’t have a single friend.

He kept quiet for a while. And it went very well. But then he saw some cousins Who started to yell.

Now there was a fire one day, That burned and burned the forest away. All the animals ran, and ran and ran. Only the little turtle didn’t go Because he knew he was too slow.

He greeted them with a loud ‘Helooooooooooo……’ For how long? I do not know. But then there was a ‘Bang!’ And that, I’m sure, was the turtle’s end.

He cried, ‘Help me! Help me! Help me’ But there was no one to

And after that, I heard No turtle has ever spoken again A single word.

Game: Chinese whispers Many quarrels in the world come from misunderstanding. Misunderstandings happen a lot, especially when people don’t listen, as in this joke: Three guys all of who didn’t usually listen carefully to each other, were playing ball one sunny spring morning. One says to another, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second guy answers, "it's Thursday." The third guy, listening in, pipes up, "So am I! Let's drink some milk" Play Chinese whispers ( pass the message and see what others hear.) Is it easy to communicate?

Step in my Shoes and learn about ‘Point of View’ Sometimes people say that the whole world is full of misunderstanding. To understand somebody needs a feeling we call ‘empathy’. It means that you feel what others feel and you understand ‘their point of view’. Like in a zoo, can you imagine how it feels to be the elephant instead of the visitor? What would you feel about the things people shout at the elephant? If you understand the elephant’s feelings, would you do bad things to it? Can you understand other classmate’s thinking? Draw two circles on the floor and ask two children to stand in each. Each child will tell what she thinks and feels.

When they have finished, ask them to change circle. Use this role play to see how much they can remember about the other person’s ideas. Learn this song:

I would like you to Step in my shoes and see How it feels to Think and be like me. And I will step in your shoes too So I can also come to know you. I will eat rice And you will eat bread, I will watch cartoons And you will sleep in my bed. And when we change back again You’d speak my words And I would feel your hurts

Then in the end We won’t no more be enemies No, I’m sure That in the end we will, we will be friends.

Talking can also help! Just as there is a time to keep quiet, there are also times that talking can help you, or even save your life. Do you know the story of The 1001 Arabian nights and how Scheherazade saved herself by telling stories. Here follows another tale of how talking can be the right choice.

How Hare married a Princess Once there was a king who was very happy. He was a good king and many people liked him. He also was rich. But what really made him happy was his daughter, whom he loved very much. She had long hair, beautiful eyes, sweet mouth and a kind heart. As she grew up, many people admired her and wanted to marry her. But the king refused. Even when she was big, the kind couldn’t agree to let her marry. ‘I won’t be able to stand it if she is not here.’ He often said, speaking of her long hair, beautiful eyes, sweet mouth and kind heart. But then one of his advisers said, ‘But King, you must set an example for everybody. You can’t prevent your daughter from getting married. If you do so, every father will have the right to do the same!’ The King, who was just and wise, thought about it and came up with a plan. He said, ‘Alright, my daughter who has long hair, beautiful eyes, a sweet mouth and a kind heart will marry. But whoever wants to ask for her hand, must first drink the oil in this hot, hot, pot.’ And with a bang he dropped a pot in front of the people. Many people came. Princes from all over the land asked to marry her. They praised themselves, their strength, their families and their wealth. But the King hardly looked at them. Instead he told them, ‘Well, if you want to marry her, first drink the oil in this hot, hot pot.’ Some couldn’t even touch the pot. Others were unable to lift it, and again others burned their lips, as they tried to lick up the oil. No one succeeded, and the King was very pleased with himself. Finally there came a hare, who too asked to marry the princess. The King didn’t even look at the animal, and just replied, ‘Well, if you want to marry her, first drink the oil in this hot, hot pot.’

From the Story: How Hare married a Princess

The hare touched the pot and saw it was very hot. Then he began to talk. He said, ‘We are so lucky! We have a wonderful King…. He is just and wise and strong. And I am lucky too, because I am going to marry a wonderful princess with long hair, beautiful eyes, a sweet mouth and a kind heart…..’ Meanwhile he touched the pot. It was still very hot. He continued, ‘ And you know, you the King are lucky too. He has wonderful people, who work hard and love them and listen to every word he says …. Some of you are bakers, others are cooks, and again some are police officers…. And now I am going to marry this princess with long hair, beautiful eyes, a sweet mouth and a kind heart.’ Again he touched the pot, which by now had cooled down a lot but still was a little bit too hot. Hare continued his speech. He talked about the trees and the grass, the animals and the birds, the beautiful mountains, then again the lucky king, the people and of course his own lucky self and the princess with the long hair, beautiful eyes, a sweet mouth and kind heart. Finally he said, ‘And now I will drink the oil in this hot, hot pot.’ Of course the oil was not so hot anymore, and when he drank it the people clapped their hands. The King, who had dozed off, woke up. When he realized what happened, he was shocked and wanted to refuse to give his daughter to the clever hare, but the people said, ‘What you promise, you must do’ And that is what happened and how Hare married the princess.

Keeping Promises Tell the story of The Frog Prince and the Golden Ball. Stress how The King told the princess again and again ‘What you promise, you must do.’ The Story of Strong Wind What is more important than truthfulness? (discuss)Listen to this story from the Native American tradition that shows how truthfulness has more power than physical beauty. Strong Wind was a kind of shaman. Shamans are magicians who can control the

elements. He could change the weather, make himself invisible and create anything he thought of. But he was still very human, and though he lived with his sister, he was lonely and wanted to marry. His sister told him, ‘To marry is easy, but how can you find the right one?’ Strong Wind had wisdom. He said, ‘I want somebody who is truthful.’

His sister put out the word that her brother was looking for a bride. Many girls tried their luck, and whoever came to meet Strong Wind in his house, was asked, ‘Tell me, now that you are with him, what does Strong Wind look like?’ Being invisible at the time, the girls made up all sorts of stories. Some said that he was like a tree so strong, that he was riding a sleigh or that he was tall like a tree. Others told that he was wearing green pants, a yellow shirt made of cotton, or had beautiful jewelry around his neck. The sister knew at once that they were lying. In a nearby village, there lived a chief, who three daughters. Their mother had died a long time ago. The two eldest were lovely to look at, but the prettiest was the youngest one, who was loved by all. Out of jealousy, the bigger sisters would do all kinds of bad things to their younger sibling. Once they cut off her beautiful long hair. Another time they tore her dress. Another time, they smeared hot ashes over her face. And each time, their father was told it was the little one’s own fault! The two eldest sisters also wanted to marry Strong Wind. When they reached his house and were asked if they could see Strong Wind, they said, ‘Yes, we can.’ And started to describe him. The more they talked about Strong Wind, the more they exposed their own lies. The youngest sister wanted to try to win Strong Wind’s heart too. Even though her face was burned, her hair chopped off in a most ugly manner and her clothes torn, she wanted to give it a try. When she came to the house of Strong Wind, the sister asked her too, ‘Can you see Strong Wind?’ She was quiet for some time. Then she said, ‘I can’t see anything.’

The sister was surprised. Until then, everybody had pretended that they could see her brother. ‘Look again!’ said the sister excitedly. The young sister looked again. She looked outside and saw the trees move, the clouds part and her mouth opened in wonder. ‘He is so beautiful.’ she said. ‘What is his bow made of?’ asked the sister. ‘The rainbow!’ cried the young girl. ‘What do you see in his hair?’ asked the sister. ‘It’s made of the stars.’ said the girl. The sister than asked the young girl to wash herself in the water from their magic well. At once her beautiful hair grew back, long and prettier than before. Her face shone with kindness and compassion. Then Strong Wind showed his human form and asked the girl to be his wife. She agreed at once and had their wedding then and there. The young bride became known as ‘The Bringer of Truth’ and many people came to ask her for advice, as whatever she told them was of great use to their lives. Only the two elder sisters kept anger in their heart. They plotted one day to burn their sister in the oven fire, but Strong Wind turned them into two trees. And when you look today, every time the wind blows, you can see the tree leaves tremble and shake, because they are still so scared of Wind.

Peace Circle Stars shine because they always smile, did know that? And when little stars are born, their parents teach them to shine. Little Stars try to shine brighter and brighter so that they can give more love and be kind to all the others. They like that there is peace everywhere.

you

Now one day it happened that on the earth, the animals were quarreling. They spoke a lot of bad things about each other. The lion said the elephant was fat. The elephant said that the monkey was too noisy, and the monkey told the cow not to be lazy, and so on. There was no love feeling between, and only hatred. From very far, Little Star looked at them and said, ‘Father and Mother, why do those animals always quarrel? Can’t they say something nice about each other?’ Father told of all the stars that had dropped from the sky and fallen to the earth to tell the animals how to be kind and loving, but that they had not changed. Little Star said, ‘I also want

to go and teach them.’ And before her father and mother could say ‘No!’ She had dropped and started to fall from the sky. Little Star had become a falling star too and went straight to the earth! Unfortunately she fell right into the water. Little Stars don’t know how to swim. So she cried, ‘Help! Help!’ Fortunately a little fish came and tried to help her. Unfortunately he was not strong enough to push her out of the water. But fortunately enough, the fish called his friend and together they could pull and push her out on to the land. When Little Star was a little dry, she met the pig and horse. They were scolding each other You have to change! said the horse. Me change? Why? Said the pig. You are too fat! Said the horse Me fat? No I’m not fat. I’m just strong. I don’t want to change. Said the pig. But do you know who should change? It’s the cow. Me change? Said the cow. Why? You are too lazy! Said the pig. Me lazy? I’m not lazy. I’m steady. But do you know who should change? It’s the monkey. Me change? Said the monkey. Why? And so the quarrel went on with the elephant being too fat, and the mouse too naughty, the snake to scary, the zebra too foolish, the cat too mean and so on and so on. Little Star then said: Please listen. You all know how to say bad words about each other. Can’t you find anything good to say? That will make you all much happier. Maybe you even can become friends! First pig spoke, ‘Well horse, maybe you are very fast. Yes, you can run very well.’ The horse became so glad he hugged the pig and said, ‘Oh my chubby friend, I like you!’

Then the monkey told the cow how steady she was. ‘Hm,’ said the cow, ‘I like to hear

From the Story: Little Star that. Thank you.’ And the elephant looked at the little mouse, and started to smile. ‘You are really cute you know?’ At once the little mouse jumped on the elephant’s nose and hugged him with his little arms. ‘I thought so too,’ he said. The animals began to be happy. But who weren’t happy? Father and Mother Star. They wanted Little Star to come back. ‘You must come home, Little Star.’ they said. Giraffe who had passed by and come to like Little Star too, said. Climb on my shoulders, Little Star. And though the giraffe was tall, Little Star still wasn’t high enough. Then elephant told giraffe to climb on his shoulders, but still they were not tall enough. Even with lion, supporting elephant, they couldn’t push Little Star back into the sky! They fell down instead with a loud bang, and got really hurt. Elephant said, ‘I have an idea. We use a seesaw.’ Little Star sat on one side, and elephant climbed a tree, then jumped on the other side. Little Star went up really high. The animals were holding their breath. Would she make it? Could she reach the sky? She went higher, and higher and then Little Star began to fall down and with a loud bang, fell back to the earth. All the animals started to run around, calling ‘Little Star, Little Star The bear, the giraffe, the elephant, the lion and monkey, even the lazy hippo were running and jumping up and down, but they couldn’t find her. Only one person said he had seen Little Star, and that she had broken into a thousand pieces, and then disappeared. But where she was now, nobody could tell. As they sat together thinking about their good friend, who had shown them to be kind and loving, they were very quiet. They didn’t run. They didn’t jump. They were very still. And it is then that they could really feel the little stars shining in their heart. And when they opened their eyes, they became even kinder and more loving. It seemed as if they all had become Little Stars! And though many animals would forget Little Star, you still can find all over the world many, many little animals who quietly sit

and think of the beautiful Little Star in their heart and speak good and kind words. After telling this story, ask the children to close their eyes, and think of the love shining in their hearts. After opening their eyes, ask everybody to thank somebody before they can take a candle from the center.. Then sing Baba nam Kevalam or ‘There are friends, friends as far as I can see.’