Unbiased News: The News You Want

Unbiased News: The News You Want By John F. McGowan Version: 1.0 Start Date: July 22, 2009 Last Updated: July 22, 2009 Home URL: http://www.jmcgowan.com/unbiased.pdf Announcing the ultimate Internet news aggregator Unbiased News: The News You Want The Problem Are you a conservative outraged by Bill O’Reilly’s endorsement of global warming? Are you a liberal shocked by the New York Times blatantly pro-war coverage of the illegal US occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan? Are you a scientific rationalist appalled by the media’s sensationalist coverage of UFO’s and other pseudo-scientific nonsense? Are you a ufologist frustrated by the corporate mainstream media’s perpetual ridicule of UFO’s and uncritical repetition of whatever nonsense the CIA and Air Force say? Are you an investment banker tired of being vilified and demonized by just about everyone just because that communist civil servant Alan Greenspan forced Wall Street to lose $8 Trillion speculating in housing? The Cause The simple fact is everyone else suffers from bias. Only you have achieved the state of pure objective rational thought, seeing the world as it truly is. Yes, the Internet now enables you to get your news from enlightened web sites that are almost unbiased and usually speak truth to power. But even your fellow conservatives, liberals, libertarians, socialists, and so forth will unfortunately report biased and inaccurate news that you don’t want to hear.

John F. McGowan

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July 22, 2009

Unbiased News: The News You Want The Solution Unbiased News: The News You Want is a new web site and RSS feed that gives you only the unbiased news that you need. Simply sign up for our free service and take our quick What Unbiased Means To Me survey. Using state of the art data mining, search, and semantic processing algorithms, Unbiased News will ensure that you only receive the unbiased news that you want to hear. Wait! There is More! As a member of the Unbiased News community, you can choose our I Am Special option to receive news and opinion articles that confirm your membership in a special unique group unjustly persecuted for its special unique virtues. For conservatives, our state of the art algorithms can select and provide a never ending stream of articles on the relentless persecution of white male conservatives by the NAACP, ACLU, and other liberal hate groups. For liberals, our unbiased news selection engine will provide retrospective articles on the McCarthy era which will describe the victims of McCarthyism as apolitical average Americans, liberals, socialists, or communists depending on how far left you are. For Jews, the engine will select retrospective articles on the Holocaust, tsarist pogroms, and the Jewish War. For Palestinians, the engine can select heartbreaking stories of Israeli atrocities in the occupied West Bank. For scientific rationalists, the engine will select stories about the trial of Galileo and the Scopes trial. Whoever you are Unbiased News will confirm how special you are, how much your group has suffered, and how much the ungrateful world owes you. Wait! There is Still More! As a member of the Unbiased News community you can also select our Total Ridicule option to receive articles ridiculing anyone who disagrees with you. Our news selection engine will select articles that thoroughly ridicule and debunk the actual position of the other guys, not their phony coded message but what you (and we) know they really mean, the utterly absurd position they really have that no sane rational person would hold for five seconds. Yes, Unbiased News selects the unbiased objective articles and op-eds that cut through the code words and ridicule the real position.

John F. McGowan

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July 22, 2009

Unbiased News: The News You Want Call To Action Sign up now for Unbiased News: The News You Want and start receiving the objective unbiased news that you want to hear today! © 2009 John F. McGowan

John F. McGowan

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July 22, 2009