U

I am scared...im writing again after ages...im in Dhamse...away from home, a way from family…lonely, lost. Im having visions of the past to the days when u errrr (you were never with me) your thoughts were with me. A false hope, that I would c u at least once more haunts me again… it’s not that I can’t find Ur house...I can... I know where u used to stay...but I don’t want to go...It’s one of those silent whishes when u want something to happen...without actually wanting to do anything...I feel to run away from this madness...to the time when I had u & to the time when I felt mistakenly that I was with u… As the fire of daily life spreads and engulfs my heart...it burns away ur thoughts in its every possible embodiment…..but still y do u haunt me again...I know ur sleeping happily beside ur software developer husband in the western shores of the globe…I know u r happy..I know u don’t even remember me...Is this my own romanticism of my befallen state…y do I feel this vent up passion inside me once again...I feel restless…y do I want to return to my adolescence ..to the time I stole glances...to the time I tried to look beautiful…to the time I listened to “MLTR”...to the instant when I tore apart ur letters ( I never had ur picture)..threw ur gifts...to the time when ur thoughts made me a beast...and ur separation made me an ocean...vast, unperturbed, unpredictable... I know this is the end...u have gone happily...but Ur thoughts still haunt me...