Transitions Blue

Transitions ― putting the pieces together ~a course in change

? What you’ll learn today ? • Identifying Life’s Rites of Passage • Clarifying Your Personal Passage Markers • The Phases & Transitions of Life • Making Plans, Adaptation, & Failure • Strengthening Your Personal Networks of Community

Session 1 Life’s Rites of Passage [Passage Points]

Definition~ Rite of Passage • A ritual or ceremony signifying events in a person’s life indicative of a transition from one stage to another • A change in a person’s life social status • An event which ushers an individual to a level of competency or maturity beyond their previous level • A celebration to honour an individuals’ passage from one life

Entering/Exiting a Passage Point? Signs— • Energy Positive

Signs— • Tired Negative

• New ideas—you see things differently now • Driven to try new things • Want a different environment • Dreams outside the box

• Lack motivation • Frustration with yourself • Same ol’ same ol’ • Unfulfilled dreams • Stiffled energies— you want to MOVE

Western Culture and Passage Points • Most world cultures insist on them: postmodern culture seeks to eliminate them • Outside of academia ceremony is largely lacking • Recognition of achievement is downplayed • Religious ceremony (exceptionweddings) is viewed as “nice” but hardly essential to life

The Ultimate Rite of Passage

Our NEED for Rites of Passage

• Identifies Transitions • Moves an individual to the next level of life • Brings definition to a new role in life or work • Declares the end of an era of grief or pain • Recognizes achievement publicly • Forces one to “rise to the occasion” • Raises a sense of personal

Our Rites of Passage • • • • • • • •

Potty Training!!! Being Able to Swim First Kiss Graduation from Primary School First Sexual Encounter High School Graduation First Job / College Promotion / Graduation

• • • • • • • •

First Mortgage Marriage First Child (or twins) 16, 18, 21, 30, 50, 65… [Divorce] ~New Relationship Entrepreneurial Spirit Retirement Last Rites

My Rites of Passage • End of career in chemistry • Gang up • Beth Watson • Moved to Suburbs • First Job (life guard) • First Volvo (1958 PV 544- Red, of course)

• Valedictorian

• • • • • • • • •

BA, BD, ThM, MA Philosophy to Faith IVCF Starr Lynn VanArtsdalen Firing Refining Refitting Josh & Beth NEEDinc Doctorate Resurgency…,

Personal Markers ~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.

Some Early In Life

LifeLine

Some Late in Life

Session 2 Personal Markers [a Workshop]

Directions 1. Draw your Life-Line

Personal Markers ~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.

Some Early In Life

LifeLine

Some Late in Life

Directions • Draw your Life-Line • Mark Passage Points, describing them succinctly. • To what extent did each Passage Point effect your Life? (1-10) • Discuss within your group— “What did you learn about yourself from each passage point?” • Large Group Wrap-up.

Session 3 Phases & Transitions ~facing life’s unexpected twists & turns

Or…

…what I learned about life when I was stuck in the bathroom with a house full of people and no toilet paper.

This is My Life !

Time Growth Graph

Grow th

Time

Phases & Transitions

Phas e

P has •Stability e

•Direction

•Inner peace

•Goals •Decisive •+ Selfesteem

•SelfConfidence

Phas e

•No goals or direction •Indecisive •Lousy self-esteem •Unstable (emotions, etc) •Inner turmoil

TRANSITIONS

~strategies for coping with the difficult, painful, and confusing times in your life by William Bridges

• Ending— bringing to closure, with or without resolution • Neutral Zone— the time in between, the space needed for being, regrouping and processing to move beyond

TRANSITIONS

~strategies for coping with the difficult, painful, and confusing times in your life by William Bridges

• Ending— bringing to closure, with or without resolution • Neutral Zone— the time in between, the space needed for being, regrouping and processing to move beyond • Making a Beginning— launching, giving life, creating…, but only after something has come to a definitive

Your Phases & Transitions [in small groups]

• Where are you now? Phase or Or Transition? … • In that nebulous space between the two? • What important decisions or events loom on your horizon? • Where can you find counsel, guidance, a friend? • If you need private time to process, when will you schedule it? [You MUST

Session 4 Plans Adaptation & Failure [Repairing Re-gearing Resurrection]

The PRIMARY QUESTION is ~ With all the compiled experiences of my life, including what I’ve learned in this last Transition,

WHAT AM I BEING DESIGNED FOR IN THE NEXT PHASE OF MY LIFE?

…and you think your present job stinks!?

More Specifically… the Secondary Questions before us~

• How can I gear up to come out of the other side of a transition? • What inner pain must I face in order to move on? • What proactive steps can I DO to prepare to reenter a healthy, productive life-style and work force? • How can I overcome my failure(s)? [or, a sense of failure.]

Plans

PLANS— Principles • “Before something can be done, something else must be done first.” What is it? • Dream— What do you want your life to look like a month from today? ~six months ~a year

• What new patterns do you need to integrate NOW? • What needs more attention in your life? • What needs refinement? • What needs correction? • What needs

PLANS--Execution • Pick your top three plans to begin, change, refine. • What will you DO to begin to create the new YOU!? • Second-guess Obstacles. • Who will help you; who will check in with you?

Work Groups • Name three (3) things you want to change or initiate in your life or work • What will be the first steps in putting your plan into action? • What will have to go to make room for this new activity? • What challenges/problems do you initially expect? How will you meet them?

Adaptation

W ow !

Adaptation

Goal

Intended Path W s ho op

What to do…, what to do?

Adapting to Adapting • Use pencil (figuratively)

• Learn to take risks • Build in a “fudge factor” to allow for variations • There’s more than ONE WAY to do something • R-E-L-A-X • Take some down-

• Give things TIME • Don’t try to do every-thing at once • Have a backup plan • Have an escape plan • Admit your mistakes • Laugh at yourself more

Failure

Confidentiality Time Question: Where have you failed? [small groups]

• In relationships? Your profession? School? Life? • How did you feel about it? • How did others view you? • What did you do to get back on your feet? • How did you move beyond the failure? (Or maybe you haven’t yet.)

Failure reflections • Failure isn’t the end • Make a lot of mistakes; statistically you can’t get it wrong all the time (e.g. Thomas Edison)

• Failure isn’t necessarily failure. It just means you haven’t nailed down God’s design for your life yet • “If everything you do works you’re not trying hard enough.” • Learn from failure

Down & Dirty Discussion Time

[large

group]

~What have you learned from your past mistakes, failures, and really big screw-ups that you would like to Basic Principle pass on to others? of

Making Mistakes

~Always make the same mistake at least twice. That way you’ll be able to make it

Session 5 Re-Entry Threads ~your network of relationships

People and Plans If you are going to grow beyond where you are at present you need a PLAN … and you

Your Network of Relationships PEOPLE TYPES • VIPs— Very Important People • VEPs— Very Enlightening People • VHPs— Very Helpful People • VPPs— Very Peripheral People • VCPs— Very Critical People • VDPs— Very Draining People

My Network of Relationships

• VIPs— Very Important People

[512]

• VEPs—Very Enlightening People

[6]

• VHPs—Very Helpful People • VPPs—Very Peripheral People

[3-4] [?] [1-2] [0-2]

Identifying Your Networks of People …or Who’s who for You?

Your Network of Relationships [Small Groups] • Who are the VIPs, VEPs, VHPs, in your life? • How do you see them helping you establish a new beginning in the next phase of your life? • Who are the one or two important people you will ask to come along side you this coming week? • Who are the VCPs & VDPs in your life? How can you address the effect

TRANSITIONS A Review

What We Did Today • Session 1: Life’s Rites of Passage/Passage Points • Session 2: Personal Markers (Workshop) • Session 3: Phases & Transitions • Session 4: Plans, Adaptation & Failure • Session 5: Reentry Threads—

Some Final Question? 1. What will you DO with what you learned today? 2. When will you put your plans and ideas into action? [tonight?] 3. How is your sense of self right now? 5. Was this course worth your time and money?

TRANSITIONS was sponsored by—

NEEDinc The College Church One S. Pleasant 58 Pomeroy Terrace Street Northampton, MA Amherst, MA 01061 01002 413.586-0057 413 259-0077 www.thecollegechurch.org www.needinc.org Feel free to contact either organization for further help with the TRANSITIONS in your life.

TRANSITIONS was sponsored by—

NEEDinc The College Church One S. Pleasant 58 Pomeroy Terrace Street Northampton, MA Amherst, MA 01061 01002 413.586-0057 413 259-0077 www.thecollegechurch.org www.needinc.org Feel free to contact either organization for further help with the TRANSITIONS in your life.