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THE LANGUAGE OF NEWS THE EFFECTIVENESS OF WORDS Writers sometimes do not understand the words they use. Other times they fail to express their ideas clearly and precisely. In such cases, the sentences they write may state the obvious (or impossible), or they may carry unintended, often comical, meanings. People expect more of journalists, who must master the English language. When news organizations hire a new reporter, they look for someone who understands and respects the language, knows spelling and grammar, possesses an extensive vocabulary and writes in a clear and interesting manner. Even careful writers make mistakes, sometimes hilarious ones. But if the errors become too numerous, they can damage a news organization’s credibility and force it to print or broadcast costly and embarrassing corrections. When a major event occurs, such as the Sept. 11 attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon or the war in Iraq, dozens and sometimes hundreds of journalists rush to the scene, gather information and then transmit it to the public. All journalists write about the same event, but some stories are much better than others. Why? Some reporters are particularly adept at gathering the information needed to write exceptional stories. Other reporters produce exceptional stories because of their command of the English language. Their language is forceful, and their stories are written so clearly and simply that everyone can understand them. These reporters describe people, places and events involved in news stories and use quotations that enable those people to speak directly to the public.

BE PRECISE To communicate effectively, reporters must be precise, particularly in their selection of words. Mark Twain wrote, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” The perfect choice makes a sentence forceful and interesting; imprecision creates confusion and misunderstanding. When reporters fail to express their ideas clearly and precisely, audiences can derive meanings different from the one intended. The unintended meaning may be difficult for the writer to detect. Double meanings in the following headlines, all of which appeared in newspapers, illustrate the problem: Council Stands Against Drugs and Biting Dogs Breast implants prominent Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Japanese scientists grow frog eyes and ears Police Say Man Hid Crack in Buttocks Astronauts Practice Landing on Laptops Doughnut hole, nude dancing on council table

While readers often consider the double meanings humorous, few editors or news directors are amused when such errors appear. Yet even the best news organizations occasionally make mistakes.

USE STRONG VERBS Verbs can transform a drab sentence into an interesting—or even horrifying—one. Notice the impact of “crashed,” “collapsed,” “rocked” and “spread” in the lead paragraph from an Associated Press story about the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon:

NEW YORK (AP)—In a horrific sequence of destruction, terrorists crashed two planes into the World Trade Center, and the twin 110-story towers collapsed Tuesday morning. Explosions also rocked the Pentagon and spread fear across the nation.

Strong verbs like these help readers or listeners envision the events described in the stories— they paint a vivid picture for readers. The following sentences are also colorful, interesting and vivid. Why? Because the college students who wrote them used descriptive verbs: A cargo door popped open, tearing a hole in the plane’s side. Eleven passengers sucked out of the hole plunged 30,000 feet to their deaths.

A gunman jumped behind the customer service counter of a department store Monday, grabbed a handful of money—then fled on a bicycle.

Strong verbs describe one specific action. Weak verbs cover a number of different actions. The first sentence below is vague and bland because it uses a weak verb. The last three use specific, descriptive verbs and are more informative: His brother got a personal computer. His brother bought a personal computer. His brother won a personal computer. His brother stole a personal computer. Avoid the repeated use of forms of the verb “to be,” such as “is,” “are,” “was” and “were.” These verbs are overused, weak and dull—especially when a writer uses them in combination with a past participle to form a passive-voice verb, such as “was captured.” Sentences using passive verbs are also wordier than those with active ones: It is believed by the homeowners that the man broke into their homes. (13 words) REVISED: Homeowners believe the man broke into their homes. (8 words) The campaign was supported by the students. (7 words) REVISED: Students supported the campaign. (4 words) A sharp criticism of the plan was voiced by the mayor. (11 words) REVISED: The mayor sharply criticized the plan. (6 words) Police officers were summoned to the scene by a neighbor. (10 words) REVISED: A neighbor called the police. (5 words)

AVOIDING PROBLEMS IN YOUR WRITING WORDS TO AVOID Adjectives and Adverbs Most adverbs and adjectives are unnecessary. They waste space by stating the obvious, and they may unintentionally inject a reporter’s opinion into the story. If you write about a child’s funeral, you do not have to comment that the mourners were “sad-faced,” the scene “grim” and the parents “grief-stricken.” Nor is there reason to report that an author is “famous,” a witness “alert” or an accident “tragic.” Adverbs and adjectives in the following sentences editorialize. Rather than simply reporting the facts, they comment on those facts: It was not until Monday that university officials finally released the report. REVISED: University officials released the report Monday. Upon hearing about the frivolous lawsuit, the mayor made it quite clear that she plans to fight the outrageous suit. REVISED: Upon hearing about the lawsuit, the mayor said she plans to fight it. The word “finally” in the first sentence implies university officials were negligent and should have released the report sooner. Similarly, if you report the facts in the second story clearly and concisely, you should not have to add that the lawsuit was “frivolous” or “outrageous.” Also avoid concluding that the mayor made anything “clear.”

Clichés Clichés are words or phrases that writers have heard and copied over and over. Many are 200 or 300 years old—so old and overused that they have lost their original impact and meaning. Clichés no longer startle, amuse or interest the public. Because they eliminate the need for thought, clichés have been called the greatest labor-saving devices ever invented. Some clichés are so closely associated with newswriting that they are called “journalese.” The term identifies phrases reporters use to dramatize, exaggerate and sometimes distort the events they describe. In news stories, fires “rage,” temperatures “soar,” earthquakes “rumble” and people “vow.” Rivers “go on a rampage.” Third World countries are often “war-torn” or “much-troubled.” Sometimes they are “oil-rich.” Politicians who get in trouble are “scandalplagued.” If the scandal lasts long enough, reporters will create a name for it by tacking the suffix “gate” (which began with the Watergate scandal of the Nixon era) to the appropriate noun, as in “Irangate” (during the Reagan presidency), “Travelgate” and “Monicagate,” also called “Zippergate” (during Clinton’s presidency). Journalese is common on sports pages. Sports reporters and copy editors fear overusing the word “won” to describe the outcomes of contests. Instead, especially in headlines, they report that one team “ambushed,” “bombed,” “flattened,” “nipped,” “outlasted,” “scorched,” “stunned,” “thrashed” or “walloped” another. Sometimes a cliché can be twisted into a fresh expression or used in a surprising way, as in this sentence from a New York Times story about a National Basketball Association cham- pionship series between the New York Knicks and the Houston Rockets: “It is the city that never sleeps versus the city that never wins.” Chief Justice William Rehnquist enlivened another cliché in an opinion he wrote for the U.S. Supreme Court upholding an Indiana law that prohibits totally nude dancing. “Indiana’s requirement that the dancers wear at least pasties and G-string is modest, and the bare minimum necessary to achieve the state’s purpose” in protecting public morality, Rehnquist wrote. Such opportunities for the effective use of clichés are rare. Clichés that journalists should recognize and avoid appear in the box on the facing page.

Slang Journalists avoid slang, which tends to be more faddish than clichés. Some words that started out as slang have won acceptance as standard English. “Blizzard,” “flabbergast” and “GI” (for soldier) are among such terms. Most slang never makes this transition, however. Slang also conveys meanings journalists may want to avoid. It often expresses a person’s attitude toward something. Thus, slang terms such as “flaky,” “ego trip” and “flatfoot” convey evaluations—often negative and stereotypical—of the things described. Reporters, however, should leave to editorial writers or readers and viewers the job of making evaluations.

Technical Language and Jargon Nearly every trade or profession develops its own technical language or jargon. When professionals use jargon to impress or mislead the public, critics call it gobbledygook, bafflegab, doublespeak or bureaucratese. Most jargon is abstract, wordy, repetitious and confusing. For example, a government agency warned, “There exists at the intersection a traffic condition which constitutes an intolerable, dangerous hazard to the health and safety of property and persons utilizing such intersection for pedestrian and vehicular movement.” That sentence contains 31 words. A good journalist could summarize it in four: “The intersection is dangerous.” Many sources reporters routinely use—doctors, lawyers, business people, press releases, technical reports, and police and court records—speak in jargon. Journalists must translate that jargon into plain English. Here are two examples: JARGON: Identification of the victim is being withheld pending notification of his next of kin. REVISED: Police are withholding the victim’s name until his family has been notified. JARGON: Dr. Stewart McKay said, “Ethnic groups that subsist on a vegetarian diet and practically no meat products seem to have a much lower level of serum cholesterol and a very low incidence of ischemic diseases arising from atherosclerotic disease.” REVISED: Dr. Stewart McKay said ethnic groups that eat little meat have low rates of coronary heart disease and related illnesses.

Euphemisms Euphemisms are vague expressions used in place of harsher, more offensive terms. Some etiquette experts say that good manners require the use of euphemisms. Prudishly, Americans often say that a woman is “expecting” rather than “pregnant,” and that they have to “go to the washroom” rather than “go to the toilet.” Other examples of euphemisms preferred by Americans are “donkey” for “ass,” “intestinal fortitude” for “guts” and “affirmative action” for “minority hiring.” A similar phenomenon occurred with the Monica Lewinsky scandal during Bill Clinton’s presidency, as many reporters and news anchors found themselves writing and talking about oral sex and semen stains. As with sex, Americans often employ euphemisms when talking about death. They say that a friend or relative “passed on” or is “no longer with us,” not that he or she has died and been buried. Hospitals report a “negative patient outcome,” not that a patient died. Funeral directors object to being called “morticians”—a word that itself was originally a euphemism for “undertakers.”

OTHER PROBLEMS TO AVOID Avoid Stating the Obvious: Platitudes Dull, trite, obvious remarks are called “platitudes,” and journalists must learn to avoid them. Platitudes that have appeared in news stories include: As it has in most areas of modern life, science has entered the profession of firefighting in recent years. Superhighways, high-speed automobiles and jet planes are common objects of the modern era.

The second example appeared in a story about technological changes that had occurred during the life of a 100-year-old woman. The sentence would have been more interesting if it had described the changes in more detail and clearly related them to the woman’s life, such as: Lila Hansen once spent three days on a train to visit relatives in California. Now, she flies there in three hours every Christmas. Students have included these platitudes in their stories: Counselors help students with their problems. The mayor said she was pleased by the warm reception. The sponsors hope the art show will attract a large crowd. The writers of these stories were quoting sources who were stating the obvious. Platitudes make for dull quotations, and dull quotations should be deleted: The newly elected mayor said, “I hope to do a good job.” The committee chair said, “Homecoming weekend is going to be big and exciting.” When people stop reading a story, they rarely think about why it bored them. If they reexamine the story, they might realize it is just a series of platitudes. Platitudes say nothing that hasn’t been heard before. Thus, people might quit reading the story because it is no longer interesting or newsworthy.

Avoid First-Person References Except in extraordinary circumstances, journalists should remain neutral bystanders. They should not mention themselves in news stories. Journalists should not use the words “I,” “me,” “we” or “us,” except when they are directly quoting some other person. Beginning reporters sometimes use “we” or “us” when referring to the community in which they work or the United States. Although USA Today has adopted that usage as its style, most newswriters refrain from using the first person. When first-person pronouns appear outside quotation marks, readers usually conclude the writer is editorializing about the subject: He said we must work harder to improve the city’s schools. REVISED: He said parents must work harder to improve the city’s schools. The governor said we are being hurt by inflation. REVISED: The governor said state residents are being hurt by inflation.

Avoid the Negative For clarity, avoid negative constructions. Sentences should be cast in positive rather than negative form, as in the following examples: The student did not often come to class. REVISED: The student rarely came to class. The defense attorney tried to disprove her client’s sanity. REVISED: The defense attorney tried to prove her client was insane. Sentences containing two or three negatives are wordy and even more difficult to decipher. As you read the following examples, you may have to pause to determine their meaning: The women said they are not against the change. REVISED: The women said they favor the change.

Avoid an Echo An echo is a redundancy or the unnecessary repetition of a word. Good writing avoids an echo by eliminating redundant words or phrases:

Her annual salary was $29,000 a year. REVISED: Her annual salary was $29,000. In Japan, cancer patients are usually not told they have cancer. REVISED: In Japan, patients usually are not told they have cancer. Writers sometimes repeat a key word or phrase for emphasis or to demonstrate an important similarity. If the repetition is needless, however, the result is likely to be awkward, distracting or confusing.

Avoid Gush Reporters also avoid “gush”—writing with exaggerated enthusiasm. They write news stories to inform members of a community, not to please their sources. News stories should report useful information. They should not praise or advocate. Two ways to avoid gush are to always use more than one source for a story and to demand that sources provide specific details to support their generalizations. Using multiple sources who are independent of one another prevents reporters from being misled or manipulated by sources seeking favorable publicity. And by insisting that sources provide details and specific examples to support their claims, reporters can minimize the tendency of sources to engage in the kind of self-praise found in these examples: “We feel we are providing quality recreational programs for both adults and children,” Holden said. Police Chief Barry Kopperud said the city’s mounted horse patrol, which began one year ago, has become a great success.

Avoid Vague Time References For example, if a fire destroyed a home at 5 p.m. Tuesday, a reporter would write the story later that evening for publication in the Wednesday newspaper. If the reporter wrote that the fire happened “today,” readers would think “today” means the day they are reading the story—Wednesday. If the reporter is writing about an event that will happen on the day of publication, the use of “today” is appropriate, as in this sentence: “The concert will begin at 3 p.m. today.” “Yesterday,” “today” and “tomorrow” may be used in direct quotations, and they may be used to refer to the past, present or future in general and not to specific days. Journalists also avoid the word “recently” because it is too vague.

Avoid the Present Tense Print journalists avoid the present tense and terms such as “at the present time” because many of the events they report end before readers receive the newspaper. A reporter working on deadline should not say, “A fire at the Grand Hotel threatens to destroy the entire block.” Firefighters almost certainly would have extinguished the blaze before readers received the paper hours later. For the same reason, a reporter covering a fatal accident should not say, “The victim’s identity is not known.” Police might learn the victim’s identity in a few hours, and local radio and television stations might broadcast the person’s name before subscribers received their papers. Consequently, print journalists must use the past tense: A fire at the Grand Hotel threatens to destroy the entire block. REVISED: A fire at the Grand Hotel was threatening to destroy the entire block at 11:30 p.m. The victim’s identity is not known. REVISED: Police were unable to learn the victim’s identity immediately.

Avoid Excessive Punctuation Journalists avoid excessive punctuation, particularly exclamation points, dashes and parentheses. Exclamation points are rarely necessary and should never be used after every sentence in a story,

regardless of that story’s importance. Parentheses interrupt the flow of ideas and force people to pause and assimilate some additional, often jarring, bit of information: She (the governor) said the elderly population (people 65 and older) had grown twice as fast as any other segment of the state’s population during the last 20 years. REVISED: The governor said the percentage of people 65 and older had grown twice as fast as any other segment of the state’s population during the last 20 years. Sources use a lot of pronouns and vague references. Students often quote these sources, adding explanations within parentheses. If an explanation is necessary, then a direct quote is not a good idea. Instead, reporters use partial quotes or paraphrase what a source has said: “I wish they (school administrators) would quit fooling around,” she said. “They say they don’t have enough money (to hire more teachers), but I don’t believe that. I know they have it (the money); it’s just a matter of priorities—of using their money more wisely.” REVISED: She said the school administrators should “quit fooling around.” They say they do not have enough money to hire more teachers, but she does not believe that. “It’s just a matter of priorities—of using their money more wisely,” she said.

CHECKLIST FOR THE LANGUAGE OF NEWS 1. Choose words that convey your meaning as precisely as possible. Write your story with detail and explanation, so it answers all the questions one logically might ask about the topic. 2. Use active verbs and vivid nouns. 3. Prune adjectives and adverbs from your sentences. 4. Avoid clichés, journalese, slang and euphemisms. 5. Avoid loaded words and opinionated or artificial labels. 6. Avoid mentioning yourself in the story and using the words “I,” “me,” “we,” “us” and “our,” except in direct quotations from a source. 7. Avoid misleading statements about the time of the story. Use the specific day of the week or the date— not “yesterday,” “today” or “tomorrow.” 8. Avoid gush, exaggeration, contrived labels and excessive punctuation. 9. Avoid an echo: Do not unnecessarily repeat the same word in a sentence. 10. Avoid platitudes: Do not state the obvious, such as the fact that a government official was happy to be elected. 11. Avoid the present tense when writing for print media; most events you write about already will have occurred. 12. Cast your sentences in positive rather than negative form.