To Whom This May Concern

To Whom This May Concern, AKA The Minion Overlord: I am Minion #6,364, alias: cas2986. My political/religious affiliations are quite simple. The Minion Overlord is ruler, creator and instructor of all. I am metrophobic, mnemophobic, mycophobic, and myxophobic. The prescriptions that I have previously taken for these afflictions seem to be irrelevant and unnecessary since becoming a minion of the Enlightened One. My hobbies are also irrelevant as the majority of my time is dedicated to protecting Swami, defending Swami and increasing the numbers of his minions all over the world. The Enlightened One once said, "Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination." Despite not being Dean, his words ring true especially considering f(x)= e^(-2x^2) and (-1)^n*(x^(2n))/(n!). The road of the minion is not an easy one, as Swami instructed our fellow minion 'Dean'. Before knowing this wisdom, I, myself attempted to change my destiny. The day started out as any other day. As I was riding to work on my pony, (standard transportation mode for all minions in Virginia), I noticed that I was being followed. The car was coming up quickly and I knew that if I didn't make a decision fast, they might capture me and torture me for information on the Overlord. Hiding was my only way to change the fate I knew would befall me and as I found a small sex shop, I took refuge in its ladies room. I heard the door open and my pursuers enter. I had been discovered. And then, suddenly they were gone. Only a walkie-talkie left on the floor where they had stood. I picked it up and put it to my ear, finding a member of H.M. guard speaking to Michelle and Barak Obama. The Overlord had come to my aide in the most unlikely of ways. The distraction he had created escaping from Gitmo had required the attention of all of H.M. guard. I was saved. In conclusion, I am a minion, dedicated and life-long. Whether it be receiving instructions from the Overlord via Twitter or through the many character representations he takes on (like Castiel) to hide his true identity from those who wish to harm him, my dedication is unwavering in the face of trials and tribulations. Also, as far as pillow talk goes, I think it is alarming and slightly disturbing that there is so much lust for an angel, as there is for Castiel. Although, I know none of the minions would have it any other way. That is all. Footnote: Misha "The Overlord" Collins, reigns supreme. r = (sqrt[250+110 sqrt(5)]/20)a.