'this Boy's Life': Is Rosemary A Good Mother To Jack?

Mr. Mulcahy

Year 10 MYP English

Chien He Wong

Discuss the relationship between Jack and his mother, Rosemary. Do you think that Rosemary is a good mother to Jack? Provide at least three examples from the memoir that support your answer. Rosemary is the mother of ‘Jack’; the latter a sobriquet adopted by Tobias Wolff during his adolescence. In the memoir This Boy’s Life she is portrayed as a prominent figure to him, harboring only good intentions for her son— the manner in which she is documented suggests that Jack is aware of this and that he reciprocates her love. Intention and their care for one another do not qualify her as a ‘good mother’ though: her attitude towards him distorts her logic, and because of this she makes emotioninduced judgment fallacies that are detrimental to Wolff despite her genuine well-meaning. A prime example of this would be her refusal to either verbally or physically reprimand him, regardless the circumstance. Having been subject to domestic abuse as a child, Rosemary does not punish or lecture Jack in fear of inflicting upon him the same internal scarring her father did unto her. Her paranoia is, while partially justified, harmful to Jack as an individual, causing him to be without discipline. His lack of discipline and her refusal to reprimand him manifest themselves in the debacle where Jack and an accomplice steal gasoline from Mr. Welch: she does not scold him, but instead begs for his cause (for him to stay at the Bolgers’ house). An even more extreme exemplification of this would be when Jack defaces the school toilet wall by scrawling profanities upon it. Rosemary refuses to believe that he would do such a thing, and when Jack denies responsibility, she says “if he says he didn’t do it, he didn’t do it!” (Wolff p.79) despite two witnesses testifying that he did indeed do it. When confronted with this near-certain truth, she still maintains that Jack is innocent for the sake of not having to reprimand him. Even though one may empathize with her childhood and her subsequent cautious stance, it is undeniable that in this aspect of her maternal responsibilities she fails: her lenient policies leave Jack without the concept of action-reaction and he suffers because of this, as evidenced by his poorly oriented moral compass and his provoking of Arthur, the latter of which results in a brutal fight.

Mr. Mulcahy

Year 10 MYP English

Chien He Wong

Her adamant refusal to punish Jack is intertwined with another chronic parental issue: her failure to establish and assert herself as an authority. A rather symbolic depiction of this would be the Winchester .22 Rifle incident; although Rosemary initially objects to having her son acquire a functional weapon, she revises her decision after he whines for ‘a few days’ (24). Jack then transforms the weapon into a medium through which he channels his escapist nature— suffering when these fantasies become compulsive and tempting to realize. He eventually succumbs to his fantasies, shooting and killing a squirrel, and is greatly tormented by his own actions. Rosemary ought to have identified the rifle as a potential catalyst for Jack’s growing desire for ‘sovereignty’ and ‘control’—perhaps she did not even know, which would connote even worse parental skills— and remained impassive. Regardless, her conscious decision to let Jack interact unsupervised with a gun (an epitome of ‘typical’ violence) will suffice: in the second criteria she fails because of her incapability to assert authority, allowing her better judgment to be swayed. Rosemary per se is also of hindrance to the development of Jack as an individual. Her unconventional, fluctuating love life renders his early years to be chaotic and without the stable environment he so craves. For example, her volatile relationships have caused him many a nightmare, where he ‘slept badly’ due to the absence of a suitable partner for his mother. Her attraction to men who utilize violence is also an element to consider: the psychological trauma Roy has probably inflicted upon Jack is absolutely undesirable. Although Rosemary recognizes and attempts to rectify this crisis by marrying Dwight, her plan ultimately fails. In conclusion, Rosemary can be classified as a bad mother due to her lack of disciplinary policies, incapability to assert authority and inability to provide a stable life. The relationship between mother and son is much more complex than what prose and systematic evaluation can capture though: we must acknowledge the existence of minute variables we have not taken into account, and realize that the actual mother-son relationship constitutes more of being a ‘good mother’ that that of its symptoms. Tobias Wolff has flourished as a person, becoming a notable figure in

Mr. Mulcahy

Year 10 MYP English

Chien He Wong

literature and the academia— probably with the help of a certain someone.