The Vancougar: December 7, 2009

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Washington State University Vancouver’s Student Newspaper

December 7, 2009

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Volume 15, Issue 8 www.vancougar.ning.com

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Jared Diamond speaks at WSUV of the elderly

Pulitzer Prize-winning author gives presentation to overflowing crowd Rup Brar Staff Writer

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ared Diamond, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author told an overflow crowd of more than 200 at WSUV, that American society places much less value on the elderly than most other societies around the globe. Retirement centers strip the elderly of much of their dignity, said Diamond WSUV’s River Cities Anthropological Society welcomed Diamond, an acclaimed scholar, on the evening of Nov.17. Diamond’s lecture titled, “Treatment of Older People by Traditional Societies: Lessons and Warnings for Us Today” brought together students, faculty, staff, professors and community members. American values devalue the elderly, said Diamond. The root of the American value system lies in the Protestant work ethic. Work is the central business of life, and when elderly can no longer work they lose respect and value in society. While American values of independence, individualism and self reliance drives the youth, elderly who could no longer take care of themselves lose value, and thus respect of the youth. Emphasis on privacy drives the younger generation to follow neolocal residence patterns, while showing the door of retirement home to their elders. “The empty nest syndrome is routine for Americans”, but nonexistent in traditional societies, said Diamond

Media Occult Night on Nov. 19; promoting the Salmon Creek Journal page 5

Also, the family centered values systems of many traditional societies emphasize respect for their elders. Family serves as an economic unit, where generations take care of each other. These societies often place power in the hands of the oldest males in the household. In Chinese Confucius teachings, respect, obedience, and support for the elderly is deep rooted, and disrespect to an elder is highly abhorred. It is true that the elderly in modern society enjoy better life spans, better healthcare, more recreational activities and experience less grief from losing a child, compared to traditional societies; but disadvantages outnumber these benefits, said Diamond Lisa Rasmussen, a Human Development major, agreed with Diamond’s explanation of treatment of our elderly. Rasmussen was a bit disappointed in the vagueness of Diamond’s solutions. It would be interesting to see how “our culture will be viewed by history in comparison to other cultures; we are very much behind civilization when it comes to aging. We would not allow our aging or terminally ill citizen’s to truly take part on active euthanasia like others cultures do, but we will not stand up and care for our own let alone any other aging population,” said Rasmussen. Through his analysis, Diamond suggested ways to improve our treatment of the elderly. The solution lies in the utilization of the abilities of the elderly and educating the young.

Yuriy Kopitko mocks ‘covergirls’ for the Holiday Magazine Inside

Older people can provide “highly motivated” and “no pay” childcare to grandchildren in two parent working households. “Children (now) are living under conditions very different from those 50 years ago, they have no firsthand experience of the past”, therefore bringing together the young and old can provide a perspective of the past from which we can all learn from. Diamond favored the high school programs that bring together elderly and the youth. “With age you gain experience, with age you gain understanding of people and human relationships, with age you become better able to help other people without letting your own ego get in the way, with age you gain synthetic interdisciplinary thinking needed to solve problems,” said Diamond. Older people are better at supervising, administrating, managing, advising, teaching and strategizing than the young. Understanding these abilities of the elderly can increase their utilization in our society, and thus raise their value and respect. Following the lecture, the audiences filed lines to buy Diamond’s books, and get autographs. Diamond is famous for his analysis of historical trends through an evolutionary and environmental perspective in his previous works. Along with teaching geography and physiology at UCLA, Diamond is also working on another book relating to treatment of the elderly in different cultures.

Humorous workouts to help you through the break page 9

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Joseph Tiegs\The VanCougar

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Formal Retirement facilities, which are much more prevalent in modern culture, works to strip the elderly of life-long social ties, value and self esteem, said Diamond. Around the globe, according to Diamond, there is a wide variation of treatment that older folks face. In some traditional societies, the elderly hold positions of respect and reverence, while in others they terrorize the young, and in others they are abandoned or killed by the younger generation. Usefulness of the elderly along with the set societal values and rules reflect how the elderly will be treated, said Diamond. These elements can help explain the observed variations. “Old people in modern societies have lost their usefulness” said Diamond. Elderly in modern societies, no longer serve as repositories of knowledge. In the age of modern literacy and internet, the young consult Wikipedia or books to get answers, not elders. Rapid Technological change also makes the knowledge from the past useless. In traditional societies, older people serve as a repository of knowledge, says Diamond. They hold the secrets of best places to hunt or best methods to get the most crop yield each harvest. Their experiences allow the younger generations to succeed. They serve as leaders in medicines and politics. They accommodate the young by gathering food, babysitting or making tools/weapons. The elderly spend their days surrounded with grand kids, family and friends.

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CAMPUS NEWS

Tuition on the Rise

A call to action from Peter Sterr Peter Sterr

Director of Legislative Affairs

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ithout a doubt, the future of higher education in Washington State is gloomy. A looming state budget cut this spring, in the wake of a nearly $9 billion state budget cut last spring, cast a dark shadow over all state funded institutions— especially higher education. Last year, the state legislature cut its funding for public higher education in Washington by $617 million, while simultaneously allowing universities to raise tuition up to 14% each year for the 2009-10 and 2010-11 school years. At WSU Vancouver, this equated to an $827 tuition increase for 2009-10, and a proposed $943 tuition increase for 2010-11. This year, facing an additional (estimated) $2.3 to $2.5 billion Photo by Michael Hatch

revenue shortfall, the state legislature will make additional cuts. Being discussed are an additional 20% cut to higher education, and the possibility of allowing institutions to raise tuition by nearly 30%—or just over $2021 at WSU Vancouver—in one year. It is not out of line to say that there are discussions of closing a university. Two realities accompany this frightening information. First, there just isn’t enough money. Tax revenues are not meeting estimates while case loads are increasing rapidly—in part due to the aftermath of our national financial crisis. Second, students have not raised their voices in opposition. While ASWSUV is actively involved in Olympia, a handful of students are not enough to affect real change. This is especially true now, as other interests are actively mobilizing to compete for funding. Some students in other parts of the country are hearing the wake-up call. Two weeks ago, we saw students in California mobilize to protest tuition increases of 32%. Withholding judgment of their means, the fact that thousands of students mobilized to oppose budget cuts and tuition increases is phenomenal. Had they

started earlier, they may have been successful. That is why we are starting NOW. We need students. We need you. We need letters, and phone calls, and rallies. We need fellow students to stand up and protect our right—and the right of our brothers, sisters, friends, and children—to go to school. Legislators must know that students are paying attention, and that students care, and that students will vote to protect higher education. ASWSUV is currently conducting a letterwriting campaign, aimed at persuading our legislators in the 17th, 18th, 49th, and 15th districts (primarily) to vote to shield higher education from crippling cuts and to protect students from exorbitant tuition increases. We are visiting classes, asking for student participation in this campaign. We urge you to participate, and to encourage others to participate as well. If we have not come to your class, please stop by our office (located in the Firstenburg Student Commons) to fill out a form letter and find out other ways that you can participate. If the information in this article makes you nervous, irritated, agitated, or just plain upset, GET INVOLVED. Call, e-mail, or just stop by; our doors are always open. Peter Sterr Director of Legislative Affairs, ASWSUV [email protected]

Bookin’ It

Increased traffic in the library Sally Thrall

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Campus News Editor

SUV students may have noticed—now is a popular time to be in the library. However, it is not just the end of the term that is forcing students into the library. The library has actually seen an increasing amount of traffic this year as compared to other years. Almost all of the statistics provided by the library show an increase in library usage. In August, the number of seats occupied in the library throughout the day increased dramatically from 2008. Noon and 1:00 p.m. showed increases of 179% and 156% respectively. Seat occupation was monitored on an hourly basis for one day a week in the months of August through September 2009. This data was compared to the 2008 data. Out of all the hourly observations for each month, only two time periods showed decreased seat occupation, one time period showed neither increase or decrease, and the others all showed increase. The gate in the library, that counts when people enter and exit the library, has shown an upward trend of people coming into the library from 2002 to 2009. In the month of October alone, there were over 10,000 visits to the library, the second highest library traffic during 2002-2009. The highest amount of library traffic was in April 2009. Observations of computer usage in the

library show that during all hourly slots, the average usage of library computers was over 50% of the computers available. In the majority of cases, over 70% of the computers available were being used. These statistics may not be surprising for many students who use the library. During busy hours, it may be impossible to find an empty computer, and students have to go other places. If you go into the library during these times, you can see students milling around, waiting for someone to be done with the computers provided in the middle of the library. “Students like using the library’s workstations because they have everything they need close by – space to study, access to resources, access to help, access to Microsoft Office, and larger workstation carrels that make it easier to spread out all of their stuff,” explains Karen Diller, Associate Library Director, “We have frequent reference librarian feedback on students not being able to use a computer workstation in the Library, including in the computer lab in the Library.” Library staff is doing what they can to ease the flow of traffic. Librarians are also collecting data about library usage so they can make informed decisions about where more space could be useful to students. Students are encouraged to go to the other computer labs on campus, MMC 110 and CLS 218, if they are not able to find any computers in the library.

Annual Gate Count at WSUV Library 2002 to 2009

Jake Kleinschmidt/ The VanCougar

Librarians are also trying to make sure that when computers are in high demand, research and school work gets top priority. Because many students bring their own laptops to the library and wish to connect to the wireless network, the library is looking for funding to increase wireless access in the library. In the meanwhile, students will have to deal with usage exceeding library capability. Students looking for more space for study groups or personal study can go to the cafeteria, another popular space to study. Karen Diller suggests the new building, also known as the Undergraduate Classroom Building, which

has four rooms for study groups. She also recommends, Firstenburg Student Commons, Admin 130 and the study areas in Multimedia Classroom Building. If students want to avoid busy hours at the library, they should go early in the morning or in the evening. “Basically, we are busiest from 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m., Mon.- Thurs.,” says Nicole Campbell, Reference and Electronic Services Coordinator. Also, there is no need to come into the library if you need to contact the library. “[Students] have access to great resources and help when off-campus or outside of the Library,” states Library Director Leslie Wykoff. “During the semester, help is available via IM, phone, and e-mail from 9 a.m.- 10 p.m. on Mondays -Thursdays; 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. on Fridays; and Noon - 5 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. Hundreds of resources are available electronically via the Library’s web site.” The library will be able to hold more students eventually. Discussing the plans for library expansion in the future, Leslie Wykoff explains, “A remodel of the Library Building is WSU Vancouver’s top priority in the next capital budget request from WSU to the Legislature. WSU Vancouver has always planned to remodel the Library. The Library Building’s second story floor was built to be load-bearing so that we could put book stacks up there.” A priority for the remodel: more student study space and computer access. “We will also add plenty of computer workstations and group study space,” says Wykoff. It does not look like traffic in the library will decrease any time soon. A remodel of the library might be good for students, but with the Washington State Legislature facing deficits, it is unlikely that WSU will get enough money to expand the library at WSUV any time soon. As we reach the end of the semester, it looks like the library gate counter will tick on.

Last day of Finals Week is December 18 - School will resume on January 11, 2010 - Journalism Boot Camp will take place on January 16, 2010 from 1 to 7 p.m.

CAMPUS NEWS

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Opinion

What WSUV can learn from Clark Sally Thrall

Campus News Editor

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any students come to Washington State University Vancouver as transfer students. Being a transfer student myself, I know what the grass is like on the other side. While I love WSUV and wouldn’t dream of going anywhere else, there are a few things that our school can learn from other schools; specifically, Clark College. Many of the students who transferred from Clark already know about many of the great programs and services available to students there. In fact, I have heard, more than once, that many people bemoan the fact they had to leave the nap room or music program offered at Clark. Well, I hear you. Clark does have some pretty great programs, and WSUV could benefit from many of them, including: The Nap Room—Many Clark graduates fondly recall the possibility of, after pulling an all-nighter to get a paper in for your 8:00 am class, popping into the Nap Room where you could take a nap before your next class. The Nap Room is a dark room on campus where students can go to sleep on a convenient cot for a few hours during the day. Students inform the front desk of when they need to be woken up. It’s a great way for students to rejuvenate midday because, after all, some sleep is better than none. A nap room at WSUV would be especially beneficial to students on our commuter campus. For those of us who live more than 20 minutes away from campus, but still love sleeping, a Nap Room sounds like an especially good idea. Health Services Center—Sure, WSUV students are able to go to Clark College’s Health Service Center, but how much better would it be to have a health services center right on campus? A Health Center would not only be great for getting flu shots or cheaper health

insurance; it could also provide sexual health and mental health services. Many campuses have a sexual health center where students can have confidential STI tests and have consultations about contraception. We have a psychologist on campus, but it might be nice to have a central location for mental health and other health services. Also, the free condoms and cold kits offered at many health centers are always a plus. Music and Theatre Program—Many incoming Freshmen may have been disappointed when they arrived at WSUV and found that their favorite performing arts programs were not available at WSUV. I know that we have talented students here—just from attending the media craft night I saw talented poets, actors and musicians, all students at WSUV. How great would it be to have a way for WSUV students to become more involved on campus and bring more members of the community to our school? Clark College has multiple performing bands, including a jazz band, and several choirs. What is more, these groups put on performances for the larger community and allow students to showcase their musical talents. The Theatre group at Clark College also performs three programs a year—plenty of opportunity for theatrically inclined students to get involved when possible. Model UN and Speech and Debate—For those of us who are government nerds, or just like a good opportunity to argue, Model UN and Speech and Debate are a dream come true. Model UN gives students the opportunity to enhance their education by applying their skills to real international situations. It also allows students to meet and interact with people who share their interests. Plus, it’s just plain, slightly nerdy, fun. Speech and Debate is also a great networking opportunity. Not only does Speech and Debate allow students to bond with other students at their college, it also gives students a chance to meet other students from around

Chime Tower at Clark College

Photo from Wikipedia

America and around the globe. Clark’s Speech and Debate team has traveled internationally to compete, and students who attend Clark love the debate team so much that some do not want to graduate so that they can still be involved. Given the large Public Affairs department at WSUV, Model UN and Speech and Debate would be a wonderful way to put theory to practice and help better prepare these students for their careers. While this is not nearly a comprehensive list of all the possible programs available to students, it does provide a pretty solid list of popular programs that WSUV could

adopt. Students could use these programs to supplement their education. It would also be a great way to bring more people with varied interests to our WSUV community. While administrators and university staff are necessary to make these programs available to students, they do not do it alone. It takes student interest and motivation to make things happen. If more students got involved and asked for more services for WSUV, we could see great programs like Music and Theatre, or even simple improvements like our very own nap room. It’s up to us students to make it happen.

Candid Cougs “What was the worst class you have ever had?”

Jake Kleinschmidt

Serena Bai - Marketing

Managing Editor

“Social problems. I didn’t like that class because I am not familiar with the culture here and the professor was preachy and changed exams a lot.” Economics - Forrest Clay “Math 107 because I had already had pre calc in High School.” Johnathan Shaffer - Mech. Engineering “Probably Freshman Biology, but not from here. I didn’t have Biology in high school so it weeded out Bio majors that were already behind.” Mech. Engineering - Justin Byman “I didn’t like chemistry because I was forced to take it and it didn’t make me a better student.” Judith Anton - Accounting “Business Environment. I didn’t hate the class, I just didn’t like how the professor talked on such a high level. We couldn’t understand the material being covered.” Social Sciences - Ashley Bennett “Organic Chemistry because of a bad teacher.”

You’re a writer? Perfect! The VanCougar is hiring reporters for all sections. Please apply online at vancougar.ning.com.

Teresa Phimister - GenEd 302 “When I was a sophomore I took a class called ‘The art of being human.’ The professor was abstract and scattered, I couldn’t follow along. I did fine but there was no order.”

Last day of Finals Week is December 18 - School will resume on January 11, 2010 - Journalism Boot Camp will take place on January 16, 2010 from 1 to 7 p.m.

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STUDENT INVOLVEMENT

Dear Soldier: Student sends encouragement to Iraq Rup Brar

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Staff Writer

arah Richards has set out to share some holiday cheer and warmth with our troops serving in Iraq. Richards, a DTC major, is asking WSUV students and community members to write Thank You letters to soldiers this holiday season in order to boost morale and bring some smiles to the soldiers who are away from their families and friends. This time of the year is very hard on the military families, said Richards. Coming from a military family, Richards finds the experience to be very real. Richards’ own brother has been part of U.S. Army for about five years now. He was deployed to Iraq about four months ago. In those four months, she spoke to him once. “People are committing suicide because they are not happy there. They are under so much stress. They are feeling like the American public is not backing them, and that is a huge stressor,” said Richards. Within her brother’s unit, a soldier committed suicide last month. This type of information usually does not enter public sphere, she said. Sarah hopes these letters will help bring joy to the soldiers in her brother’s unit. Sarah will send all the letters she collects directly to her brother, who will distribute them to his fellow soldiers. The company consists of about 5000 troops. Richards’s goal is to collect enough letters, so each member of the company receives a letter. Often people Sarah has come across delve into politics behind her efforts. The idea that supporting the soldiers means supporting the war, and thus the politics related to it, is very much instilled in people’s minds. “I am not asking you to support or not support the war” but rather “I want you to put a smile on somebody’s face by writing something

kind,” urged Richards. Richards has asked classmates, coworkers, family as well as several organizations on campus to participate. Also, an organization known as “We The People” is also working on similar projects to collect letters and packages for the troops

Richards brother’s company is on a twelve month tour in Iraq. Serving as a water treatment specialist, he works alongside Iraqi civilians and servicemen. Over the years, the strategy in Iraq has shifted tremendously. What started out as a war to bring down and catch a notorious dictator has shifted toward encountering the growing aggression of the internal factions toward each other as well as the American

presence. And the conditions have worsened over the years. Both American and Iraqi civilian casualties have taken so many innocent lives. The unit Richards’ brother works in has been shelled several times. The violence has deterred the efforts of reconstruction and development of

Obama announced his plans of the withdrawal of troops in the upcoming years. Obama plans to withdraw about two thirds of the army out of Iraq by August 2010, leaving about 35,00050,000 behind to support the developing Iraqi security force. The remaining troops will work “to advise and train Iraqi forces, to support civilian operations and to target counterterrorism missiles”. All troops in Iraq will be withdrawn by December 2011, according to the plan. Richards’ brother is expected to come back around Aug. 2010. Obama’s decision was received with mixed reviews from both ends of the political spectrum. While Republicans supported the President’s decision, some Democrats showed skepticism. Nancy Pelosi, the house speaker, expressed that the number of remaining troops was too high. Also, whether the Iraqis can overcome the sectarian divisions to form a united and stable government is still in question. Richards also wants to see better psychological evaluations and support to troops coming home. According to a study published in New England Journal of Medicine, one out of every eight returning soldiers suffer from Posttraumatic Stress Syndrome; the study showed that less than half of those seek necessary help due to fear of Triana Collins\The VanCougar stigmatization and losing their jobs. workable political and economic structures in Richards sent in the holiday letters to the the country. troops last week; but will continue sending in “We have lost sight on what is going on. letters as she receives them throughout the year. We have lost sight on how far we have gone The letters can be anonymous, handwritten and/ or if we have gone enough to come home” said or typed. Anybody wishing to send messages to Richards, while discussing the war in Iraq. troops can find Richards in the campus Cafeteria, There are currently 142,000 troops serving in where she works as a student assistant. Iraq, despite the new administrations promises For more ways to help our troops, students of a pull out. In February 2009, President can visit wethepeople.org .

Does each issue focus on a specific theme? The theme is an organic process and is based on the nature of the submissions we receive. How do you select pieces for publication? Is it difficult to get published? We select based on a ranking scale that incorporates craft, ingenuity, content, and artistic merit. Once we get a significant pool of submissions we are able to determine the appropriate way to rank them. I really want to submit, but I don’t want the editors to judge me based on my identity. How do I know it’ll be all about the art? Again, the judging process is blind (the name is taken off the writing or artwork when evaluated), so the individual editors are not able to attach any affiliation between the art and the person who created it. So like I said, I’m broke. Will I get paid if my work is published? You’ve got a chance. The editor’s choice for each category receives a $100 dollar prize if they attend the launch party.

Be heard, be seen, get published

Salmon Creek Journal accepting submissions Triana Collins

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Student Involvement Editor

ara Newton, Editor-in-Chief of the 2010 Salmon Creek Journal, answers important FAQ’s about this exclusive opportunity. I’ve heard of the Salmon Creek Journal but what exactly is it? The SCJ is the Vancouver Campus’s literary and arts journal, which publishes work of undergraduates, faculty, staff, and alumni once annually during the spring term.

I’m totally broke, so how do I get one? Head over to the Writing Center located on the second floor of the library building to get one for FREE. You can also send an email to scj@ vancouver.wsu.edu if those are sold out. How often is the journal released and will anything cool happen when it does? The journal is released every spring in conjunction with a super sweet party that YOU are invited to.

What types of writing/art are you looking for? Do I have to mold my creative self to fit a particular style or tone in order to be published? The purpose of art is to explore aspects of the inner self, and as most of us struggling artists know, the inner self is not always pretty and flowery. That being said, we do not discriminate against content. What we are looking for during the blind jury process is a degree of skill representative of our publication.

When’s my amazing art due? The deadline has been extended to January 15th for all you last minute art makers. For more information and forms go to www.vancouver. wsu.edu/ss/scj or email [email protected]. edu. Is there anything else you want readers to know about the journal? Submit! It’s a great opportunity to showcase your skill as a student and an artist, and it looks great on a resume!

January 16, 2010 from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. : Join the VanCougar and eight professional journalists for Journalism Boot Camp; RSVP at [email protected]

STUDENT INVOLVEMENT

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Outdoor Adventure Club Chau Nguyen

Staff Writer

For those who love to play

outside and enjoy the beauty of nature, outdoor adventure club is a good one to join. The purpose for the club is, “To get a bunch of people together to do outdoor activities, such as hiking, backpacking, and camping,” said Jonathan Rader, the club president. According to Rader, he and a friend of his started the club last year. After his friend left, the club was dormant for a while. However, one girl came to Rader and said she wanted to continue the club. Hence, she and Rader picked it up and started the club again this school year. There are about 12 solid group members right now. However,

the actual number of people who participate in the club events is actually more than 12. There are more people whom the club officers notice, mostly via e-mail, whenever there is any activity. So far, the club has done one official hike, which was at Triple Falls. The club members have also participated in various hikes and outdoor activities that are put together by the Recreation Office throughout the year. Rader actually works with the Recreation Office to promote hikes. The club’s second event was supposed to be on November 21st to Falls Creek Falls but was cancelled due to bad weather at the last minute. Rader shared that the club’s

out e-mails frequently with information regarding the club meetings and events. Anyone idea is to get at least one thing interested can email the outdoor in each month. The o ff i c e r s adventure club at outdoor_ may put together more than one [email protected] event in the summertime, when to be put on the club’s mailing the nice weather permits more list. outdoor activities and people’s schedules are less tight after school is over. This December and January, the club plans to do snow shoe trip. However, the officers and members are going to discuss more about that at the next club meeting. The club officers send

Media ‘Fortune Festival’ welcomes creative expressions Voodoo dolls, Tarot cards, fortune telling, and poetry fills the room Chau Nguyen

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Staff Writer

pus even more by joining this kind of event.” This is Wang’s first year at WSUV and attending this event has made her college experience more fun, “As a part of WSUV, I feel like I should join more oncampus events not only to know more about this school but also to meet more students, professors, or school faculties and make friends with them via attending the school events.”

Anyone can attend Journalism Boot Camp! For more information; e-mail us at [email protected]. Free and open to the public!

Joe Creager\The VanCougar

he first event connecting all the media branches on campus for this school year turned out to be successful. The event, called Media Occult Night, was on Nov.19. It was put together by the KOUG Radio Station, the VanCougar newspaper, and the Salmon Creek Journal. Louise Wynn, a columnist of the VanCougar, was the fortune teller; Cara Cottingham, the station manager of Koug Radio, did the tarot cards; Sara Newton, the editor-in-chief of the Salmon Creek Journal, and Triana Collins, the student involvement editor of the VanCougar, ran the open mic; and Katie Wells, the editor-in-chief of the VanCougar, ran the voodoo doll table. About 60 people showed up during the two hours of the events. Pizza, cookies, and soda, were provided by Associated Students of Washington State University Vancouver (ASWSUV). Quite a few people, including Nick Ferderer, the ASWSUV president, and Melissa Boles, a senator, volunteered to share their poems to the crowd. Harrison Polo, a newly elected senator of ASWSUV sang and played on the guitar his new song, “Falling for You.” There were a lot of colorful balloons hung around for decoration in Firstenburg Student Commons, where the event took place. The idea for the event was originally from Newton and Collins. They thought of the idea of putting together an event that would bring together and advertise for all the media branches. Newton and Collins then talked to those who were interested in helping out and each helper then prepared for her individual activity. The name of the event, Media Occult Night, came from the fact that the day before the event, Wed. Nov.18, was a holiday day of the

occult. However, due to the fact that the event organizers could not reserve a room on Wednesday, the event happened on Thursday, still with the same name. Since the nature of the event is related to the occult holiday, there was some religious opposition. On the day of the event, for extra precaution, police were present. However, those who were going to protest ended up joining the event. According to Wells, it did not take long to plan for the event, “It took only about two or three weeks since those who helped prepared for their own part.” An attendee, Shirley Wang, who is an international student from Taiwan, shared her insights about the Media Occult Night, “I had a fun time making my voodoo doll and listening to those beautiful literary poems shared by others. I felt like I have liked the cam-

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FEATURE

The Rant Jake Kleinschmidt Managing Editor

I hate Twilight.

Winter break is upon us and I have been finding myself a little melancholy, but mostly I am ecstatic! Yes, I love school and doing homework and studying for tests and completing projects and all that, but soon, oh so very soon, I will be free to peruse my towering book collection, watch all those movies I really wanted to see when they came out last year, hang out with my boyfriend in a way that doesn’t involve running errands, and do some laundry. And of course, have some extra time to check out some (mostly) FREE events in our lovely city of Vancouver. See you Spring semester! What: Holiday Cheer When: Saturday, Dec. 12 Time: 10:00 am to 3:00 p.m. Where: Fort Vancouver National Historic Site Cost: $5 per family, $3 per adult, Free for ages 15 and under Okay, so not everyone celebrates Christmas, I understand, but there’s something warm and fuzzy about bright lights, apple cider, and singing. And there’s blacksmithing in the blacksmith shop! How often do you get to see that? What: Winter Festival When: Saturday, Dec. 12 Time: 11:00 am to 4:00 p.m. Where: Three Creeks Library Cost: FREE Holiday gifts are best when they’re in the form of cash and second best when in the form of crafts. So if you’re low on the former, make the latter at this crafty event that will also feature a “frosty” story time, and “wintery fun.” Sounds cold. But the wassail will surely warm you up. What, don’t know what wassail is? Me neither. Apparently, it’s a hot, spiced apple drink usually mixed with some form of booze. But since this event takes place at the library, I would count on it being an alcohol-free wassail. What: Shop Local When: Sunday, Dec. 13 and Dec. 20 Time: 10:00 am to 4:00 p.m. Where: Hilton Hotel, Vancouver Cost: FREE The Vancouver Farmers Market is having a holiday blowout at the Hilton featuring locally grown stuff and locally made stuff. Local stuff makes the best gift for anyone and everyone, including yourself. There will be music, a visit from “Santa,” and some elfish people. They totally should have gotten Gandalf instead. Maybe I’ll put in a request for next year.

What’s worse is that there is a likely chance that when I say the word twilight you are thinking of a book instead of a certain time of day. Really I mean how can one book become so popular when it is so unbelievably underwritten, cliché, and something I would expect to be used in a torture room to get information out of me? Originally I thought that after the movie ‘Twilight’ came out that the horrors of its after effects would eventually vanish from Earth. Unfortunately, a second movie called ‘new moon’ was released, as the sequel to the first. This is when I discovered that there are two more movies following the books that will be released. When will the pain stop? Last time the movie came out females between the ages of 12 to regretfully 25 stampeded to the theaters donning team “Jacob” and “Edward” shirts. Now it is going to happen again and real men will have to fear for their lives as their girlfriends start having expectations that they should behave like a metro-sexual vampire. Seriously I don’t expect to end up marrying a girl and impregnate her with a vampire child on an island. Nor do I expect a werewolf to come and bond himself to the child. Nor my wife becoming a vampire in the end. Life is not a soap opera, or a vampire book. In speaking of vampires, just to add on to how far off the books are from anything resembling quality; twilight ignores vampire lore in its entirety. Just for one example, vampires don’t sparkle. Let me say that again: Vampires. Do. Not. Sparkle. Say it out loud. Got it? Good. If you want to know something about real vampire lore, look up Alucard from Hellsing or Dracula himself. Seriously if Edward got into a fight with someone like Alucard, the fight would be a mismatch. Edward can read minds, and he is fast. Alucard can do both of those things, and regenerate his body, transform him self, summon familiars, and warp time and space to his will. The pretty boy doesn’t stand much of a

chance here folks. Just because the author was in Forks Washington and saw in her head a vampire kissing a girl in a forest scene, is no excuse to write four, way too long books about senseless drivel with vegetarian vampires and a few dogs. That poor town of only 1,300 people now has tourism of about 56,000 per year. That town hates Twilight because it has destroyed the community. Nobody wants to see that huge ugly red truck. The plot is awful, the characters are cliché and boring, and with the exception of destroying vampire lore there is no originality in the story. Sparkly vegetarian emo vampire wannabe falls for quiet new schoolgirl. Soap opera drama ensues resulting in a happy ending for all. This book has and will continue to damage society by implanting girls with unrealistic expectations for stalker like boyfriends who can climb trees and know what people are thinking at any given moment. They also expect a doggy boy to be the competition and themselves to be fought over at any given moment. This does not only make a man’s job more difficult, but it also makes girls have shattered dreams that there are no such things as vampires or werewolves. Last time I checked Santa doesn’t sparkle in the sun. Twilight, I hate you for becoming popular for the sake to make other girls feel popular. What a bandwagon. Twilight I hate you for trying to rape vampire lore just like Edwards abusive tendencies towards Bella. Twilight I hate you for not even being a good story. If girls were flipping out about something decent at least I could stand it, but come on. Twilight I hate you for what you are, pathetic. However, Twilight, I am thankful for one thing. You show me which girls are actually dateable and which ones are not. My girlfriend hates twilight and I love her for it. Any girl who is about to have a joy-seizure just by hearing the name Edward, clearly cannot be dated because she does not exist in this reality we all live in. Lastly, children of this generation, I am sorry that you are all being named Edward, Jacob, and Bella). Oh and by the way, here is your spoiler warning for the italicized above, hope I am not too late.

Solve the COUGoku

Difficulty:

What: Puppets When: Wednesday, Dec. 30 Time: 6:30 p.m. Where: La Center Community Library Cost: FREE Stellaluna is the enchanting story of a baby fruit bat who falls into a bird’s nest, tries to adapt to her new home, and fails. She is disgusted by the bugs the mother bird brings home and tries to be like everyone else. Then she figures out she’s really a fruit bat and goes through a glorious period of self-acceptance. Hooray! This may sound cheesy, but it’s not because it’s told using puppets, and puppets are amazing and wonderful and they tell really great stories. What: The Nutcracker When: December 19th Time: 7:30 p.m. Where: Keller Auditorium Cost: $10 for WSU students The Student Service Office is offering discounted tickets for the nutcracker. Tickets go on sale Monday, December 7th at 10:00 am. There is a limit of one per student. Don’t miss this chance to see the Oregon Ballet perform live in Portland!

Solution online at vancougar.ning.com

January 16, 2010 from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. : Join the VanCougar and eight professional journalists for Journalism Boot Camp; RSVP at [email protected]

FEATURE Watching Hooliganship videos makes

me feel like the top layer of my brain is peeling off, exposing memories I didn’t know I had. Did I once have seven eyes, fly over a pulsing forest through layers of scurrying spiders, enter a rainbow tree house, and gather magical jewels in my feathery palms? Was my band practice once interrupted by a pizza faced partier who took me into an oozing world of mustard confetti, chocolate chip mountains, and hamburger monsters? Did I really ride in a white SUV limo through a sea of jewelry, over piles of slot machines, and past towers of golden change? I don't know… I can’t remember… Christopher Doulgeris is the WSUV artist in residence, professor of 2D and 3D animation, a freelance musician and animator, and half of the group Hooliganship. Hailing from central Pennsylvania, Doulgeris graduated from Carnegie Mellon University as an industrial design and cultural anthropology major before moving to Portland. “This is what happens to people with that major,” Doulgeris jokes. Hooliganship is a group that combines music, video, and live action, to create mesmerizing, danceable, and uplifting performances. “It’s all combined together and has generated a lot of different opportunities such as making a commercial, teaching, being an artist in residence, or working on projects with friends,” says Doulgeris. Being the artist in residence allows him to teach with a more conceptual approach rather than a technical one, allowing for fun and creative projects. Doulgeris' musical education is selfpropelling; he used his childhood piano lessons as a catalyst for composing his own genre-defying music; “I realized I could make music with my piano skills and I’ve been making music since then,” he says. He also plays clarinet, keyboard, drums, and guitar. The themes of Doulgeris’ art encompass his entire life and stem from childhood memories. “Some of where the work comes from is a place of nostalgia and we definitely recycle that into what we do now. There has been a resurgence of bringing these old pieces of our childhood back into what we’re doing.” Excessive piles of bugs, junk food, money, and jewels pop up often in his animations,

-

The SEXpert Sally Thrall

Campus News Editor

Q: Dear Sexpert, I think my best friend is gay. How do I bring this up? Can I let him know I know without it being awkward? --Best Bud Dear Bud, First off, I wonder what makes you think your friend is gay? “Gaydar” seems to be a popular method of determining whether someone is gay or not, but often it can just serve to reinforce stereotypes that are probably not applicable to every gay person. Sure, there can be some truth to stereotypes and “gaydar” could be a useful tool for two people trying to size up whether they are interested in the same thing. However, if your best friend really is your best friend, evaluating his sexuality using your personal “gaydar” is probably not the best way to go about it. One, he’s your best friend, so if he were gay, hopefully he’d feel comfortable telling you about it. Two, going into a conversation assuming your best friend is gay could put a rift between you two. Also, if your friend has told you that he is heterosexual, then it is probably best to believe him. As hard as it is to believe that someone may act gay and be straight, it is possible. So, while everyone else may see the behavior of your friend and think “gay” because our society

Professor Profile: Doulgeris Touring, Chaos and Pizzazz

likes to force people into clearly recognizable boxes, you should just trust your best friend to be telling the truth if he says he is straight. However, it may be the case that your friend is so ashamed by his sexuality that he is doing his best to appear heterosexual. While this is a less common occurrence these days, it is possible that that is the case. If you are truly concerned for your friend’s well-being, and feel like you could help him through a difficult time regarding his sexuality and assuming that you aren’t just relying on tired stereotypes to determine the sexuality of your best friend, I would recommend approaching the subject with care. If you think your friend wants to tell you and cannot muster up the courage, I would suggest bringing up the issue in a way that makes it non-threatening. Give your friend the opportunity to tell you, not for you to try to force a confession from him—this isn’t the crusades. And don’t just give him one opportunity, give him several. Let him know that you are accepting of homosexuality. Also give it time, your friend might have a lot of issues that he needs to work through before he can come out to anyone. While it might suck feeling like you could help your friend, but not knowing how, sometimes you just have to wait. You do not want to encroach on your friend’s privacy. Finally, if your friend does come out to you, try to make him as comfortable with that decision as possible. It might be best to make as little of a deal out of it as possible, to help him feel more comfortable with you. However, if you can tell that it is a really emotionally difficult time for your friend then be sure to hear his feelings without trivializing them. Be willing to let him know you are there for him no matter what—after all, that is what best friends are there for.

7

as well as normal everyday activities that turn into something like a dream (or nightmare -- it's up to you). “We’ve often dealt with excess things in pop culture and how they can layer and add together to create this chaos of junk," says Doulgeris. "The smallest thing can turn into something that’s really big and important. What I ate for lunch that day can turn into an animation because [my collaborator] says ‘that’s gross, you eat pizza everyday.’ And then that idea builds and builds into something big and weird.” Doulgeris feels compelled to interact with his work more than the usual artist. “For me it’s really hard to just make a drawing or an animation and put it up on the wall and say ‘here it is!’" he says. "The context is totally destroyed. It’s really important for us to always be there with it and be presenting it in different ways. It really changes the context and makes it more engaging than just a blur of images and sound.” Hooliganship has gone on multiple tours across the US and Canada and love playing night after night for excited and energetic crowds, although that’s not always the case. “There’s the shows where everyone is sitting around quiet and sullen faced, the same faces they use when watching TV," Doulgeris explains, "and sometimes the people are jumping up and really excited.” Doulgeris has a soft spot for Minneapolis where the crowd is usually more than happy to get up and dance, but feels “that can happen anywhere. You can play a show one year in one city and it’s totally different because you played on a Monday in stead of a Saturday.” Hooliganship has put together a compilation of experimental animations of their work and other artists who they feel are peers and inspirations, titled “Cartune Xprez.” Their music and videos will have you oohing and aahing, dancing and singing, and inspired to try and make something just as awesome. Check out their web sites for music, videos, photos, and ring tones: hooliganship.com and cartunexprez.com. You can also hear an exclusive, in depth interview on KougRadio.com. Triana Collins

Student Involvement Editor

(TFLN): TXTS FRM LST NGHT

HOME I BEST NIGHTS I WORST NIGHTS I SUBMIT

(254): just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night. (508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better Nathan Michael Vigorito (February 5, 1987-November 21, 2009)

Nathan

Michael Vigorito was born February 5th, 1987. A happy baby, he was a joy to his parents and was adored by all. No matter how difficult a situation, he would find the good in it. He was able to cheer everyone up that he loved with his sense of humor. Nathan was extremely outgoing and funny, which helped him become friends with someone within minutes of meeting them. Nate enjoyed hanging out with his family and friends, animals, cooking, fishing, mixing records, and jiu-jitsu. Nathan graduated in 2005 from Fort Vancouver High School. He earned his Associates Degree at Clark College in 2008 before attending Central Washington University. Nathan was most recently attending WSU-Vancouver, earning high grades, and planning to graduate with his Bachelor’s of Arts in Human Resource Management in 2010. Nathan is survived by his mother Tina Vigorito, father Richard Vigorito, brother Rich Vigorito and sister Niki Vigorito.

(650): Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap. (801): My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. (760): Professor used “ROFL” while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? (404): Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating. (925): can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

h t t p : / / w w w. t r i b u t e s . c o m / c o n d o l e n c e s / v i e w _ memories/87243561#994017

For more information, please contact us at [email protected] Free and open to the public! Learn how to write like a pro!

8 SPORTS AND RECREATION

Spring recreation activities promising

As winter break approaches, Neil Gregory outlines events for next classes will begin during the same week at 12:00 p.m. and continue every Tuesday and Thursday. Various sports and fitness clubs around campus also gave hints about their upcoming spring events. According to Mari-Jo Qualey, the Running Club will be meeting twice a week next semester. One of the main goals of the group is to train for the 2010 “Hood to Coast” run. Any interested students can attend

Erik Cummings

W

Sports Editor

ith the onset of the holidays and students busy with finals, the Recreation Center and its workers look to a new semester of possibilities. Neil Gregory recently finished the spring recreation schedule and gave the VanCougar a rundown on some of the major items. “There are less events,” he said, “because we have more rentals and need to be in the office.” However, Gregory went on to say that while the events are fewer, they are larger than normal. A few are repeated; several different dates of horseback riding and ski trips will give beginners the chance to learn before bigger trips. The time-honored favorite events of spring semester include the Mount Bachelor ski trip. According to Gregory, the total number of participants last year numbered sixty with twenty to thirty people who wanted to attend after it was full. This next year, he hopes to take eighty participants. On the subject of adapting to larger turnouts, the next poker tournament will have seventy-five open slots, given that fifty participants entered in last month’s game. Events also include small activities such as finger football and dodgeball. Gregory says

Joseph Tiegs/The Vancougar

that these will likely be more spontaneous than the planned bigger events and be played as one-day tournaments. Martin Luther King Jr. Day will include a chance for student volunteering. Denise Eyerly looks forward to the Bonneville Hot Springs Spa trip in the middle of March. “It is so relaxing,” she says. Flag football will also start up again towards late February. Once again, Mondays and Wednesdays will feature the evening Cardio Combo classes starting the week of Jan. 11. Yoga

desk includes books detailing Oregon hiking trails and the basics of mountain climbing. The end of spring semester is expected to bring about some changes to the recreation and fitness center staff. Eyerly, Shawn Romine, and Tim Snyder are three of seven staff members aiming to graduate in the spring. Gregory says that a new staff will be needed by the beginning of Fall semester in 2010. “It usually takes

Denise prepares a board in anticipation for the rise in equipment rentals this spring

the club fair in January. As for the Soccer Club, the Men’s Holiday Cup will take place at the Salmon Creek Indoor Sports Arena on Jan. 27. President Phillip Ho invites any male students interested to e-mail him at khoa.ho@email. wsu.edu for free registration. Spring semester includes the club’s involvement in the Greater Portland Soccer District beginning in April. New equipment graces the recreation center shelves, ready for spring semester. An igloo machine for snow camping and a sled for pulling supplies in no-vehicle areas have both been added. In addition to the equipment, a miniature library next to the main

Recent book purchases for the miniature library in the Recreation Office

Joseph Tiegs/The Vancougar

them a year to learn everything because the job is so complex,” says Gregory, “there is so much to remember.” Eyerly, when asked about her upcoming graduation, said she hopes to stay on at the recreation center. “If they have a position open for me, I’d like to continue here.” She and other workers like Romine started out attending nearly all the events hosted by the recreation center. Gregory noticed their active participation and offered them jobs. For a complete list of upcoming events and further updates, visit www.vancouver. wsu.edu/ss/si/recreation.html. Actual events subject to weather and participation conditions.

Joseph Tiegs/The VanCougar

From Pullman

Season updates Men’s Basketball: PULLMAN, Wash. --

Washington State is 6-0 after defeating Alaska Anchorage, Nicholls State and San Diego at the Great Alaska Shootout last week in Anchorage. DeAngelo Casto leads the Cougs on the boards with 5.7 rebounds a game, chipping in 12.8 points an outing. Klay Thompson leads the team with 28.3 points per game, adding 4.8 rebounds and 3.5 assists a game. Freshman point guard Reggie Moore leads the team with 3.8 assists a game and is second with 13.5 points a game. Head Coach Ken Bone is the secondconsecutive WSU head coach to go undefeated in the month of November during his first year while getting off to a 6-0 start. Women’s Volleyball: WALNUT CREEK, Calif. -- Washington State’s Andrew Palileo was named the Pacific-10 Conference Volleyball Coach of the Year for 2009, in just his second year with the Cougars volleyball program. Seniors Renee Bordelon and Cassie Robbins were named to the All-Pac-10 honorable mention team. Oceana Bush was voted to the Pac-10 All-Freshman Team and Rachel Todorovich was named to the All-Freshman honorable mention team. Palileo, who inherited a program that hadn’t won more than three conference matches in a year for four consecutive seasons, mentored the Cougars to an 18-12 overall record and into the 2009 NCAA Championship Tournament for the first time in seven years. In his first season at Washington State, Palileo’s team went 10-19 overall and 3-15 in Pac-10 play. The Cougars finished 6-12 (8th) in the Pac-10 in 2009 and only one of the losses came to a team not ranked in the top 18 nationally. Washington State will play No. 20 Northern Iowa (30-2) in an NCAA first round match Friday, Dec. 4, in Lincoln, Nebraska. Palileo was named the 2007 Summit League Coach of the Year while at South Dakota State. The only other Washington State volleyball coach to receive Pac-10 Coach of the Year honors was Cindy Fredrick in 1995 when WSU went 22-7 overall, 12-6 (t-2nd) in conference action. Bordelon, a setter from Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, averages 11.46 assists per set which is thirdbest in the Pac-10 and 14th-best in the NCAA. Bordelon’s two-year total of 2,058 assists is seventh-best in WSU career records. Robbins, a middle blocker from Yakima, Wash., averages 1.24 blocks per set which is fourth-best in the conference and 40th nationally. Robbins’s fouryear career totals for solo blocks (49), block assists (299) and total blocks (348) are all ranked 10th in WSU all-time standings. Bush, a libero from Spokane, Wash., averages 4.81 digs per set which is third-best in the Pac-10 and 49th nationally. Her 520 digs for this season is the third-highest in WSU singleseason records. Todorovich, a right-side hitter from Walla Walla, Wash., averaged 2.10 kills per set and her 68 blocks is third-best on the team. Women’s Swimming: PULLMAN, Wash -- The Washington State University swim team will travel to Federal Way, Wash., to take part in the 2009 AT&T Short Course National Championships. Racing will begin Thursday Dec. 3, and continue through Dec. 5. Preliminary sessions will begin at 9 a.m. each day, with finals sessions starting at 5 p.m. Rugile Mileisyte is the highest-seeded competitor at eighth in the 50 freestyle. Mileisyte is also seeded 18th and 20th in the 100 backstroke and 100 freestyle, respectively. Michaela Ahlin is seeded 10th in both the 100 and 200 butterfly, along with a 21st-place seeding in the 500 freestyle. The WSU relay teams are seeded fourth in the 200 and 400 medley relays. The Cougars will also compete in the Long Course Invitational Sunday Dec. 6. The Cougars are coming off the Minnesota Grand Prix. Ahlin won both the 100 and 200 butterfly at the event and finished third in the 400 individual medley. Talor Whitaker took first in the 200 individual medley, setting a school record of 2:00.89. Whitaker also earned a fourth-place finish in the 100 freestyle. Rugile Mileisyte finished second in the 50 freestyle. The meet ended dramatically as the Cougars’ 400 freestyle relay team of Ahlin, Whitaker, Mileisyte and Emma Neely won the event while setting a meet record of 3:23.55.

1/14 First Day of Open Gym at Alki Middle School @ 8 p.m. Show up with your WSUV ID card - 1/18 MLK Day Volunteering. Sign up in Recreation Office before 1/14

HOLIDAY ILLUSTRATED Cheap gifts: Local and Fair Trade goods

Vancouver offers both Downtown at Mint Tea

Celebrate the Lunar New Year Learn about the Vietnamese holiday ‘Tet’; family time, lucky money, and lots of food

Dickens, Zombies, and Bingo

Theatre productions you just can’t miss

You did what?! Jaw-dropping stories from WSUV boys; how did they survive winter break?

Spicy and colorful holiday recipes Bring these dips to your parties and heat things up

Become more adventurous in 24 days

Exciting plans for every day of winter break

Holiday Illustrated

Holiday Shopping for the Conscious Consumer

Downtown shop offers many unique gifts By Triana Collins

Mint Tea is the kind of store you walk

into and don’t come out of for a long time. Upon entering, you become mesmerized by a ceiling full of beautiful lanterns that illuminate the room with vibrant colors. You then enter into the main shop where tables overflow with gifts from as far away as Africa, India, and Mexico, and as close as our hometown of Vancouver. Fragrant soaps, essential oils, sequined cards, knitted socks, soy candles, Day of the Dead styled t-shirts, sparkling jewelry, chocolate, and music are just some of the

treasures you’ll find. Most of the items for sale are either locally produced or Fair Trade certified, meaning that farmers and crafts people are paid a fair price for their goods and services instead of the typical slave-style wages. Simply put, the fair trade wage is always higher than conventional prices, and ensure that the workers can earn a living. A good example is with coffee, where the Fair Trade minimum wage is $1.35 a pound while the conventional market wage is only .45 cents per pound. The Fair Trade model encourages

In a World of Deep Poetry, Sometimes All You Need is a Haiku

empowerment and self-sufficiency in communities, and allows producer groups to strengthen businesses and communities by funding organizations like health clinics and schools. Fair Trade products establish direct, long-term, and stable relationships with producers by cutting out layers of middlemen in the supply chain, which allows for the majority of the profit to go back to the producer while still enabling competitive prices for consumers. To top it off, Fair Trade ensures that women are paid equally for their work, and focuses on environmentally sustainable practices, with the majority of goods being certified organic. Abdul Akdi, who co-owns Mint Tea with his wife, grew up in Morocco and claims his fascination for art and hand made goods started when he was a child. He has an obvious love for people and fullheartedly supports businesses locally and internationally. His top picks for Christmas gifts include Indian fair trade Christmas ornaments, Pacifica Soy Candles made in Portland (and featured on Oprah!), and a Vancouver made deodorant called Pit Stop that he personally uses and raves about. Akdi showed off a bottle of organic and fair-trade olive oil from Palestine that would make a lovely stocking stuffer. “You always hear about bad things that come out of Palestine," says Adki, "but here is something good.” Once you make it past all the glistening Fair Trade treasures, you come upon a counter with the most tempting treats. Locally made scones, muffins, cookies, and vegan brownies smile at you from inside their clear glass cases. Shelves are lined with fresh organic teas: black, green, red, and white.

Upcoming events include:

Wed., Dec. 9 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. Shop Local and Fair Trade! Come enjoy an inspiring evening featuring local wine samplings, fair trade Olive Oil tasting, jewelry by Vancouver resident Debra Curtis, as well as baked goods and hors d’oeuvres from our kitchen. All of our local and fair trade retail items will be on sale this evening with an additional 5% discount on purchases paid with cash or check. Sat., Dec. 12 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. A Holiday Dance Party Vancouver resident and belly dance instructor Zaina Hart, along with performances by Maia, Oberon and the Hart of Belly Dance Students, will perform throughout our dinner service. Call to reserve your favorite table! Sun. Dec. 13 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. Tajine Cooking Class by Abdul Learn how to cook classic Moroccan dishes using a tajine. Followed by a shared meal, tea and light dessert. Limited space, advance registration and payment required. Call or come in to reserve your space. Cost: $20. Wed., Dec. 16 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. An Evening to Relax and Renew Give yourself some personal pampering during the holiday season! Receive a chair massage, an Angel Reading, learn about & demo Young Living Essential Oils, Reiki, enjoy a chocolate hand mask, Hip Chicks do Wine tasting and signature hors d’oeuvres prepared by Ashley, our dinner chef. Cost: by donation.

By Louise Wynn and Erik Cummings

C

reating a Haiku is like walking — easy to do and not many rules. The trick is making your Haiku memorable. Yeah, you could write one like the title above, but who would read it? Your Haiku should inspire readers; or at least make them laugh. Over the break, experiment with Haikus. Create a book full of them. And then, have them published in the Salmon Creek Journal. If you are convinced that writing a Haiku is much too difficult, or maybe not worth your time, try reading these next four poems. They will help inspire you to dig deep and express your creative side.

There’s coffee and cocoa, organic sodas, and ionized tap water. The special Kangen water is free with any order and is processed in a machine that can be set to differing degrees of vibration, which makes Akdi “feel satisfied and energetic.” A food menu that changes daily reflects some of the day’s lovingly prepared specialties: Butternut squash ravioli with pumpkin sage cream sauce, roasted Kohlrabi, and sautéed cabbage; Moroccan Lamb with Golden Couscous; Baklava or Gluten Free Pumpkin Cake, were some of the items available when I visited. The beer was from Olympia, Portland, and Eugene, and the wine from Vancouver, Portland, France, and Italy. My boyfriend and I just wanted a sweet snack, and ordered a delightful macaroon with plump golden raisins, a gooey vegan brownie, and two glasses of the Kangen ionized water. We headed upstairs where rustic tables wait for guests and a special pillow lined nook transports cross-legged diners to the Far East. I don’t know if it was the food, the atmosphere, or the water, but I definitely felt satisfied and energized. Mint Tea is local business that gives respect to the people who make their products and the customers who buy them. Akdi shared some final insights on holiday shopping: “I think people should get out and have experiences. They shouldn’t overspend, but instead shop for articles that are fair trade, local, not overproduced, and that support the international community.” Mint Tea is a onestop shop for all of this and more to make your holiday gifts unique and socially aware. Check them out at 2014 Main St. or online at MintTeaImports. com.

Words of winter Black ice cold fog sleet Snow sled downhill blue uphill Warm home loving care (L.W.)

Resolution for 2010

Future directions

The world is full of People who want to fix you. Stay away from them. (L.W.)

Ask: What’s the issue? Knowing lets you move ahead, See where you’re going. (L.W.)

It Doesn’t Get Hotter Than This

Pico de Gallo and Guacamole By Louise Wynn

On a tight budget? Bringing dip to a party is cheap and easy!

T

hese dips even look like Christmas, and only take about ten minutes to make. Serve with tortilla chips.

A Christmas Haiku Christmas eve is here Rest weary feet by the hearth Ignore eggnog stains (E.C.)

Pico de Gallo Chop up a couple of plum or Roma tomatoes, half an onion, a bunch of cilantro, and one jalapeno pepper. Mix with the juice from half of one lime. Sprinkle some salt on top and mix together. Taste and add more salt and lime juice if you want. Guacamole Scoop the pulp and seeds out of 3 medium avocados and mash the pulp with a fork. Add one finely diced small tomato and one finely diced small onion to the pulp. Sprinkle with some salt and add 2 to 4 tablespoons of sour cream. Taste and add more salt and sour cream if needed.

Holiday Illustrated

Celebrate the Lunar New Year

‘Tet’ is one of Vietnam’s national holidays By Chau Nguyen

Besides

the universal New Year celebration, influenced by the Chinese, Vietnamese people also celebrate Lunar New Year as their national holiday. Lunar New Year, known as Tet in Vietnamese, falls on the first day of the first month of the Lunar Calendar, usually in late January or early February. Vietnamese people prepare for Tet by cooking special holiday

foods. Having been derived from its Chinese counterpart, Vietnamese Lunar New Year shared with the Chinese many of the same customs, such as visiting a person’s house on the first day of the New Year, worshipping ancestors, wishing New Year’s greetings, giving lucky money to children, and opening new businesses. The holiday lasts about three days, with the maximum time being six days.

Like thanksgiving in America, Tet is a time for family reunion. Many people, especially those that have moved to somewhere else other than the place their family lives return to their hometown to spend the holiday with their family. They also visit the graves of their ancestors to pay tribute to them. Preparations for Tet take place many weeks before the actual celebration. People shop, decorate their homes, cook traditional food, and wait for their relatives to return home. Since a lot of shops will be closed during the celebration, people try to stock up on supplies as much as possible beforehand. The first official day of the celebration is reserved for the nuclear family, that is, the husband’s household. Children receive lucky money in red envelopes from the elders by giving the traditional Tet greetings. One of the most important Tet rituals is the fact that the first visitor a family receives for the year determines the family’s fortune and blessings

for the whole year. Hence, people never visit others’ houses on the first day of the New Year without being invited. To be safe, the head of a family usually leaves the house a few minutes before midnight and comes back right when the clock strikes midnight to prevent anyone who may bring bad luck to the family from entering the house first. The family displays the offerings of food on the altar table for the first meal for the ancestors since they have returned to the world of the living. Then, the entire family sits down to enjoy the meal, which typically consists of steamed chicken, bamboo shoot soup, banh chung and fresh fruits. The second day of Tet is for visiting the wife’s family and close friends. The third day is for teachers, bosses, and other members of the community. The evening of the third day makes the departure of the ancestors. Banks and shops reopen on the fourth day.

Which play should you see this holiday season?

By Triana Collins

Would you like to see something: a. Entertaining or b. Lame You chose A. Now... are you in the mood for some stripping?

You chose B. Go take a nap.

a. Heck Yeah! or b. No thanks

You chose B. Oh, family night out? Are you wanting something new or a classic?

You chose A. Scandalous, huh? Well you pick: a. Cops or b. Robbers

The Lying Kind Third Rail Repertory Theatre Through Dec. 13

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f you knew the truth could kill someone, would you still tell them? What if it wouldn’t kill them, but just change them forever? These questions are asked and answers put to the test in The Lying Kind, a play by British writer Anthony Neilson. Two Dumb and Dumber- style cops are in front of a suburban London house fighting about who will ring the doorbell in order to tell some unfortunate news to a pair of aging parents. Their daughter has been killed in a car accident and the softhearted cops can’t bring themselves to tell the truth, fearing it may kill the elderly couple. So begins a weaving of elaborate and hilarious lies fashioned to lessen the blow of losing a child. For every step forward the duo take to save the hearts of the parents, they dig themselves two feet deeper into a pit of lies. First, they claim it’s the dog who has died, and tears flow over the death of the “beautiful baby” until a Chihuahua arrives, yapping their lie into the light. The dog is exterminated, but a mistake has been made; it’s really the young neighbor’s new Christmas puppy. Somehow the girl winds up blacked out along with a women’s panty-wearing priest, until the girl’s mother arrives searching for an alleged child molester. More lies are pulled out of thing air to save the cops from the fists of the hulking, huffing mother. A strip tease occurs, a brawl ensues, confessions made, and a zombie Chihuahua emerges from under a shiny police hat. The Lying Kind is the perfect play for the holidays: touching and funny with an incredible cast. For more information, check out thirdrailrep.org.

a. New or b. Classic

Holidazed Artists Repertory Theatre Through Dec. 20

Julia,

a super-mom with 3 rambunctious kids, a full time job, an ungrateful husband, and an annoyingly picture perfect sister in law, comes across 2 homeless youths begging in the cold. While balancing her latte, cell phone, and overflowing to-do list, she tries to ignore the ratty kids. However, she is continuously harassed by her dead hippie activist mother who walks around her conscience with a bull horn and bumper sticker slogans, demanding her to help those in need. Julia eventually invites the Pagan homeless teenagers into her Christian household, but tensions that had been brewing between husband and wife start frothing as the realities behind religious holidays are exposed. When the supermom’s life seems ready to burst at the seams, her two best friends, comic couple Nicholas and Gabe, relax her a bit with their hilarious songs, drag, and dancing. Members of Artists Rep’s Resident Acting Company, Michael Mendelson and Todd Van Voris are the crowning ornaments of this holiday play. They play multiple roles and play them well, alternating as a lovey dovey couple, grandmother, street punk, Indian convenience store owner, and the sitcom sister-in-law whose only sin is scrap booking and plans holiday menus weeks in advance. Like the best holiday story, Holidazed’s message is one of giving, being thankful, and the meaning of family hidden in the pop-culture, corporate whirlwind of winter holidays. It’s the type of play you want to see with your loved ones, and it will warm your heart without the nasty side effects of alcohol. For more information, visit artistsrep.org.

Bingo with the Indians Portland Playhouse Through Dec. 13

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ingo with the Indians comes with a warning that needs to be taken very seriously. “Warning: Bingo with the Indians contains foul language, fullfrontal nudity, and excessive violence. May be offensive to some theater goers. Inappropriate for anyone under 18.” But, no pain no gain, right? Three broke friends from NYC head north to New Hampshire to rob a high stakes Bingo night to fund the next production of their play. They’ve got skimasks, guns, lot’s of coke, and are totally hyped, ready to roll into the bingo hall and make their getaway. Steve, a small town local kid, walks into their motel room and is star struck by these big time New York thespians. He’s thrust into a never before seen magical world where theatre is everything and acting is the norm. He dreams of getting away from his mom (hooked on anti-depressants and ready to cry at the slightest hint of disapproval), his conservative father, and the small town gossip. He begs to be taken to New York with them so that he can “smoke a blunt and ride in a cab” and free pent up desires. The play gets more and more intense, with sex and drug fueled energies layering and multiplying. New sensations are felt, new ideas are realized, closed minds stretch, expand, and tear. Finally, catharsis is reached and a naked speech on theatre and life is given from the motel bed. The entire cast was astounding and I was on the edge of my seat for the whole production. Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity! Check out portlandplayhouse.org for more information.

A Christmas Carol Portland Center Stage Through Dec. 27

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f you’re looking for a way to feel all warm and fuzzy and Christmas-y, check out Charles Dickens classic tale of greed, redemption, and goodwill at Portland Center Stage. It’s pretty well suited for the whole family; from grandma to kid sister to your neo-punk teenage cousin, it’s guaranteed to induce a cheesy grin at some point. If you don’t know the story by now, Ebenezer Scrooge is a rich old curmudgeon who walks around worrying about money and wondering how anyone could possibly be happy when they haven’t got any. He is visited by his dead partner Marley, who arrives in a heap of green smoke and is bound with clattering chains. He warns Scrooge that he will be visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve: the ghosts of Christmas’ past, present, and future. Past arrives and drags Scrooge back to see himself as a boy, all lonesome at a deserted boarding school, and as a young man who chose money over the love of his life. The ghost of Christmas present plops him in the living room of his nephew, who despite his lack of funds, is having jolly good fun. Future introduces the tragedy of Tiny Tim, Scrooge’s underpaid employee’s sick son, who will die if his father doesn’t earn more money. The ghosts scare, shock, and finally force Scrooge to change his crotchety old ways. He emerges Christmas day a new man, visits his family, smiles, and gives his employee his much deserved raise to save Tiny Tim. There’s snow, singing, cute English outfits, and an amazing set that morphs from cold city streets to Scrooge’s haunted bedroom in a heat beat. A classic take on a classic story to leave you feeling the true spirit of the Holidays. For more information, visit pcs.org.

Holiday Illustrated

24 Ways to Become More Adventurous One activity for each day of Winter Break

out a popular dance club. Not into dancing? Go to one of the universities in Oregon and drop by a Greek house. Since the campuses are pretty big, you can get away with not knowing the people at the door. Use the opportunity to be yourself and talk to everyone (everyone hot, that is). If this is too ‘adventurous’ for you, bring one friend. You could be each others’ wingman.

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Go snow tubing Do you know someone with a four-wheeler? Perfect. Tie one end of a rope to an inner-tube and the other to the four-wheeler. Go for a spin. Keep in mind, this is pretty dangerous if high speeds, obstacles, or alcohol happen to be involved. Be smart.

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Dramatic make-over By Katie Wells Whether it’s a wardrobe change, a drastic dye or cut of your hair, or maybe even Stay the night in an airport some added plastic, do something Take a trip down to PDX Airport and different before coming back to school in bring a suitcase, small blanket, and January. The change itself will help you later pillow. Don’t worry about filling the suitcase in life when you need to make a life-changing — you won’t be traveling. Find a nice seat decision. in the lobby and plant your stuff. This is where you’ll be sleeping. There will be so Say yes many delayed flights that security won’t even Your friend asks you to accompany notice you. them to something you absolutely do

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Go ‘polar bearing’ Drive to a lake (not Vancouver Lake for fear of catching a mutant virus) and strip down to your underwear. Jump in! Make sure you bring someone with you in case you go into shock. Then get out. wrap up in a blanket, and drive home. Note: Avoid golf-course lakes.

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Take pictures with Santa You could go to a mall and do this, but where is the fun in that? Instead, late at night, drive around town and take pictures with every Santa you see in people’s yards. You could try to climb on the roofs to do the whole ‘sitting in the sleigh’ thing, but I only see that ending badly. If the family happens to be sitting near their front window as you approach the house, simply go up to the door and ask them to join you in the picture. Send that picture to your grandma in a Christmas card — she won’t notice the extra family members.

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Paint your room Are you one of those people that are afraid of change? If that’s the case, dump out your overflowing change jar and spend the money on paint. Whether you’re going from egg-shell white to ivory or light tan to neon green, you will enjoy the difference. After a few days, you may begin to feel like a completely different person.

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Go to a party or club The catch? You don’t know anyone! Drive down to Portland and check

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not want to go to. Say yes. Your mom, who is a horrible cook, asks you to try her new creation. Yes, you’d love to. Do you want to sign up for the our credit card so we can harass you and cause you to fall into debt? Mmm, maybe not.

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Leave the driving to Greyhound You know you’ve been dying to travel with a friend on a giant, crowded bus. You don’t know where to go? Ask the man at the ticket booth to pick for you. Make sure you buy round-trip tickets...and do this sooner than later. The last thing you want is to be trapped in Coos Bay, Oregon due to icy roadways.

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Winter hibernation Get a small group of friends together, go out to a snowcovered field, and create a snow fort. Make sure you bring lots of blankets as you’ll be staying the night. If you want to make the fort really unique, bring food coloring with you and tie dye the walls. Make sure you have tons of food and maybe a radio— it could be miserable without those.

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Bury something with a friend Do you have a friend who has been with you for life? Get in touch with them and plan a burial. Fill a coffee can with memories of your guys’ friendship– pictures, notes, matching superhero shirts– and bury it on your old stomping grounds. Remember where it is because in a few years, you’ll want to dig it up.

Crazy Guys at WSUV

Dangerous feats conquered during break By Katie Wells

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o, for my seventeenth birthday my friends decided to go and take me snowboarding. And that went pretty much like the way they tried to teach me how to swim, which was throw me in there and just hope that I float. So instead of starting off on the smallest hill possible as I suppose normal friends would do, they took me to the highest point they could on the lift and basically strapped me in and pushed me down. So I’m basically flying down at about 50,000 mph and I come upon this turn and I have no idea how to turn whatsoever at all. So basically I went flying over the edge and had to grab like this plant. And no kidding I was just sitting there praying to God that I would not fall off. And I had to hold on for like forty five seconds until they came down after me and helped me up. And pretty much after that I stayed off the tougher runs and I stuck to the smaller runs for the rest of the day. And I have not gone snowboarding with them since. - Isaiah Donnell

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s a family, I have a fairly large extended family in the Spokane area. And every memorial day weekend there would be between forty and sixty individuals that would go out in the middle of the woods and they would take a keg or two of beer. I was 12 or 13 so my job was to take care of the fire. I was the fire boy. The other part of my job was to make sure that the adults in the evening would not fall into the fire; it just kind of goes with the territory. It rained pretty heavily that evening and we set up a large parachute and the fire would be under the parachute. The fire went out so I had to start it again and get the fire going. Well my uncle Marty…he was in his mid twenties. He came up from bathing down in the river. And he goes, “Chuck, you have a problem with the fire? Here, let me show you how to get it started.” So he takes this kerosene can and says, “Here, you put a little bit of kerosene on here.” About the third shake, there is this spray of kerosene and the fire’s going. The fire leaps up into the can and shoots off about forty or fifty feet. And it becomes this big flaming candle

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Make your family/friends dinner Sporting a chef toque and coat, prepare a meal from another country. No, not stir fry. Try Chiroti from India or Muktuk, an Eskimo dish. Experimenting with new food will help you get out of your routine and expand your comfort level.

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Create an embarrassing video And upload it to YouTube. Actually, post it on Facebook. Everyone has an account, especially at WSUV, so it will be even more humiliating. By learning to laugh at your self, you begin to lose your inhibition. The video could feature your newest dance move, a Taylor Swift acoustic cover, crashing into a tree while snowboarding, or even climbing onto a table only to have it tip over seconds later leaving you crying in pain on the floor. Whatever works.

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Snowboard under-dressed Taking a trip up to the mountain? Don’t be afraid to take a run down the slopes in only a swimsuit. What’s the worst that could happen? Be positive— your outrageous outfit could help you score a date with a hot instructor.

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Take part in some LARPing There are two prime places to get in on this action..Live Action Role Playing that is. Lake Sacajawea in Longview, WA and Leverich Park in Vancouver. Though this is quite nerdy, it might spark a new hobby in your life. Rather than spend a ton of money on an official LARPing outfit, yes they make those, just create you own. Cover an old wrapping paper roll with bubble wrap. Spray paint it silver. Wrap your body in bubble wrap to avoid puncture wounds. Have someone else spray paint you silver. Wear a cape. Then head down to the park for a medieval adventure.

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City-wide scavenger hunt There are lists online of popular scavenger hunt items. Rather than collecting the actual items, you could have a picture scavenger hunt. Maybe finding a person wearing blue boxers, someone who has seven kids, a former model, and the most famous person in your town. Get as many people as possible to take part in the activity.

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Can I get your number Hopefully after doing a lot of these activities, you are feeling more outgoing. With this new found confidence, you and your friends can challenge each other to a number-exchange contest. Without telling randoms about the contest, you must receive the most numbers from people of the opposite sex. It is childish, but a lot of fun.

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12 Days of Christmas Ding dong ditch style. Dress up in all black, a ninja outfit if you feel the need, and bring with you all of the items from the popular song, 12 Days of Christmas. It could be hard to find and going. Or, rocket basically, because it’s controlled explosion. He catches on fire. And his hand is on fire cause of the kerosene. Me and my cousin are like, “stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!” So he stops and rolls in the dirt, and is all muddy. Then he looks at me and he says, “Damn.” So he went back down to the river. Cause he didn’t get burned, he just singed his hair. So, yeah, he went back down to the river and washed up. That is my fondest childhood memory. - Chuck Harrsch, VIT

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even years ago, winter break, me and my father went up to Sequoia National Park in California. Just like any other day, we thought it’d be a nice little trip down memory lane as we enjoyed the beautiful trees and the birds humming around us. Little did I know that the boys we were with would take me to the top of a cliff and show me the water below. As one man jumped off and dove into the pool, which was at least 100 feet below him, we all squealed as the water shattered around him. We were surprised that he could actually land in a twenty foot area. And when the boy that I did not like the most decided to jump off and let his arms fly out from beside him and hit the water with a giant smack, I laughed as his underarms bled when he got out from hitting the water so fast. Then they said, “Harrison, your turn is next.” And I cried a little inside as I took a step and started to sing the National Anthem. I don’t know why as I was falling from the sky. I got to ‘and the rocket’s red glare’ right before I hit the water. I went into the water about thirty feet and I

capture Turtle Doves, etc. so try these: one can of pears, two pieces of dove chocolate, three cans of chicken noodle soup, four marshmellow chicks, five donuts, six eggs, seven rubber duckies in a fish bowl, and eight mini cartons of milk. After eight you’ll have to stop. Or maybe start drawing stick figure pictures?

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Cross-country ski It might be one of the most difficult things to do as far as winter sports goes, so give it a try. Celebrate a different holiday You must be wondering what it is like to have eight crazy nights? How about lighting a Kinara? Have you been wondering what the big deal is about that white-bearded, fat man? Spend one day celebrating the holiday of a different person. Decorate someone’s tree At about 3 a.m., leave your house armed with ornaments, ribbon, popcorn strings, and lights. Find a house with a large tree in the front yard. Start decorating! In the morning, they will either be pleasantly surprised, or very angry. Either way, they won’t know who did it.

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Elfish dancing You’ve probably done the Chinese Fire Drill at some point in time, right? Well here is a new twist. Dressed in elf outfits, you and your friends will jump out of the car at each red light. As the occupants of cars around you give you strange looks, perform a choreographed dance until the light turns green. Then jump back in your car and prepare for the next red light.

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Take a trip to Goodwill Find an absolutely hideous outfit for four of your friend as they pick one out for you. Go to a public, crowded area, and put on a fashion show. You will need an MC, so bring along your loudest friend. Try to sell the outfits you are wearing to bystanders. If that is too much, maybe just got out for a bite to eat in the clothes.

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Make a bucket list Finally take the time to create a list of everything you want to accomplish before you die. It could range from getting married to walking on the Great Wall of China. Since school will be starting up yet again, you will need to prepare this list before you become swamped. This last day of break is the perfect time to do it. Once the list is created, you will be inspired to fulfill each goal as soon as possible. There is never a better time in life than while in college to start crossing items off the list. You typically have less responsibilities than you will later, and a few may even have summer break still. Note: Most of these are easy, many are dangerous, and some may even be illegal. So, have fun with the list, and burn after completing.

looked around, and realized that I was pretty close to the bottom, which had some pretty sharp rocks. So I swam back up and I heard the cheers of my brethren and the cries of that little boy that I didn’t like as I walked back up and asked if I could do it again. - Harrison Polo

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was still serving ROKMC (Republic of Korean Marine Corps) and I received the last break of 10 days before I was done with the military. As soon as my break started, I came home, packed up, and went up on so-called boys trip with my five best friends to one of mountains in South Korea. Problems began as we came back after snowboarding. We were up there for straight 5 hours and, by the time we came back, we were extremely hungry. So, we opened up a huge Korean barbeque party out in the porch where some of us wanted to see girls walking by (hoping we could invite them to the dinner). The party was awesome and great. Everyone was enjoying and, of course, drinking. All of us got drunk and decided to go up to the mountain again. Drinking and snowboarding caused every single one of us big troubles. After the first round, we all felt sick and started throwing up in the bushes. Then, we could not walk straight anymore so each one of us started bumping into trees and other people as we were coming down for the second round. Luckily, none of us had serious injuries other than big bruises or scratches. -John Won

SPORTS AND RECREATION

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And now, a friendly word or six from our sports editor... A time to reflect, a time to ponder, a time to plea, and a time to promote Erik Cummings

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Sports Editor

s the Sports Editor for your student newspaper, I have your best interests at heart. Whether or not my heart and head connect for maximum benefit remains the unknown factor, not to mention is the idea for the plot line of several dozen romance novels. This past semester has flow by faster than an out of control ballerina in oil-covered shoes sliding down a bowling lane. I have done my best to keep up with the ongoing events and sports activities around campus. Even I know I can only do so much. Let me take this opportunity to encourage returning students to consider the possibility of writing for the VanCougar. Have you been dissatisfied with the job I have done these past two semesters? I welcome thoughtful criticism and encourage new writers who know much more about sports than me. This holiday season, stay safe and stay sane. If your sanity is slipping, I recommend sacrificing efforts in that area and keeping the fight in the former. Here are some simple exercises to deal with holiday stress: MistletoeThree-Step This one requires a little equipment and can be utilized when a drunken admirer attempts to snog you under the mistletoe. Place a modern art poster on a nearby wall in view of the doorway in question. When you’re caught in the doorway with the admirer moving toward you, look toward the poster, gush enthusiastically over the art, and step quickly toward it to admire and avoid the encounter. Bump-two-three: there is a secret move to this exercise, one which can be employed when you bump into the admirer as they are entering the door and you are exiting it. It requires skill and quick thinking (see diagram below). The moment you two collide, step backward, counting your steps in your head. “Bump(point of impact)-two(medium step back to the left)three(large step back to the right).” And then rest at a forth step to stand ready again, feet together.

Eu-Aow No Defensive Stance This useful little stance is the AuntThelma’s-Big-Wet-Kiss-and-Cheek-Pinch Avoidance Kata. If you have good balance, this is one you should learn easily. If you do not, then learn how to fall theatrically. When Aunt Thelma arrives, flying through the door in fits of familial devotion and chattering ten paragraphs a second about her latest cruise to Acapulco, apply the following stance: 1) Bend your right or left elbow so your arm looks like an “L” shape. Place the wrist of that hand against your forehead, fingertips away from your head and thumb pointing in the general direction of the floor. 2) Take your free arm and tuck it close to your side. Bend your elbow all the way so your wrist is close to your shoulder. Extend your fingers so they are nearly in contact with your other hand on your forehead. 3) Bring your right or left leg – whichever one upon which standing will bring you the best balance – up toward your stomach so that your knee is close to your rib cage or stomach. 4) Tense your raised leg muscles and your arm muscles and prepare for impact. For best results, practice beforehand. If you fall and lose your balance, do not worry. Aim for softer furniture. Any injuries sustained can be milked for sympathy and pampering. Also, when Aunt Thelma tries to bestow her kisses on you, the target who cannot move anywhere, there are opportunities for pretending to be asleep and faking an oncoming cold. Warning: Actual results may vary. This exercise has not been tested by doctors, nurses, or anyone who has ever done proper exercise in their entire life and should therefore be taken at the reader’s own risk. Author not responsible for any injuries, accidents, or youtube videos covering the comedic implementation of this act.

Pseudosonria Stretches Ever got the weirdest and most inappropriate and most unwanted gift for Christmas? Ever had trouble mustering up that fake grin of thankfulness to assure the giver of your “appreciation?” Ever wonder if they ever believe you are “truly” grateful for that sequined set of spats Aunt Edna gave you? The Pseudosonria, or “fake smile” will make it easy to conjure up that sappy grin without undue strain on your face this holiday season. 1) Grin. This smile should reveal your teeth. 2) Place your index fingers firmly against the corners of your mouth. 3) Push the corners of your mouth farther up with your index fingers. 4) Hold this position. If it hurts, DO NOT WORRY. THE TECHNIQUE IS WORKING. Thirty seconds after it starts to cause you pain, relax and take your fingers from your cheeks. This process will allow a smile to come easier to your face, exercising your cheek muscles. So, when Aunt Thelma gives you another horribly-knit item of clothing/floor apparel/toilet seat adornment, you can smile and thank her just a little easier this holiday season. Warning: As with the other two exercises, this technique has yet to be tested by professionals and studied by lawyers. The VanCougar accepts no responsibility for individuals harmed or inconvenienced by this technique. Enjoy your Christmas, fellow Cougs. Spread peace and goodwill to all men and women this holiday season and do not forget to exercise.

Step one

FITNESS CENTER Hours

Step two

M-Th : 6:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday: 6:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sat-Sun: Closed

Equipment Ellipticals & Treadmills Free Weights Leg Presses, Extension, & Curl machines Medicine balls & Yoga mats Strength bands & jump ropes

Policy A few tips to master and improve this move: Carry a drink constantly. After arriving at rest, take a long slurping sip from the drink in case the admirer comes close. With any luck, their drunkenness will make them bump into you, you’ll drop the drink, and another escape will be provided with you cleaning up the glass and liquid. It may be a hassle, but just remember you’re trying to avoid kissing as much as possible, right? Also, the quick foot movement learned from dancing lessons can be applied here. Warning: Do not forget to drink responsibly this holiday. Carrying eggnog or milk around instead of alcohol works just as well as a deterrent. If a glass of either spills and spatters on clothes, there is the added threat of it staining and spoiling. The other person will not question your urgency to leave and wash the spill from your favorite sweater. If no drink is readily accessible, keep a candy cane on hand. Take your time to consume, sucking one end down to a point and placing the other end in your mouth when this is accomplished. The sharp tip pointing from your lips will cause even the most inebriated antagonist from stealing a smooch.

Fitness center is free to all WSUV students, faculty, and staff. Must sign liability waiver. Bring Fitness Center card each visit.

Trainer A certified personal trainer is available to Fitness Center users at no cost. Develop a fitness plan, learn how to use the equipment, or develop strength for a specific sport or activity. The sessions are free. Get fit! Stay fit!

Steps three and four. Attacking Aunt Thelma not pictured

Jake Kleinschmidt/The VanCougar

School starts again January 11, 2010 - Come watch the WSUV Girls Volleyball team in City-League at the Marshall Center starting in January

10 ARTS, CULTURE, AND ENTERTAINMENT

THE COUG MEDIA REVIEW Gold and Green Artist: Sugarland

Country duo Sugarland’s first

holiday album is a mix of traditional Christmas songs and original songs written by members Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush. Five of the ten tracks are traditional songs, including Winter Wonderland and Holly Jolly Christmas. In general, these songs have an identifiable “country” sound to them. Holly Jolly Christmas showcases Bush’s singing ability instead of the usual lead vocalist Nettles. The original songs range from City of Silver Dreams, which has more of a pop sound, to Coming Home, which has a soulful sound almost like a gospel song. Two of my favorite songs on the album are two of the other original holiday songs, Maybe Baby (New Year’s Day) and Little Wood Guitar. On Maybe Baby, Bush sings about a guy who goes back to his hometown every Christmas in hopes of reconnecting with a former girlfriend. On the upbeat Little Wood Guitar, Nettles sings about how receiving a guitar for Christmas when she was young influenced her to be a musician. Sugarland’s country fans will appreciate the sound of the traditional songs, while fans of the group’s more pop/rock sound will appreciate the originals. Reviewed by Amy Thielen

The Men Who Stare at Goats

The Blind Side

Author: Jon Ronson

The Blind Side is a feel-

Director: John Lee Hancock

I’ve heard the movie isn’t as

good as the book, and I’m not surprised. A movie could never do justice to this fascinating but formless hodgepodge of stories about the US government’s psychic fight against terror. The book was first published in 2004 to accompany a British TV series, “Crazy Rulers of the World.” It makes you feel like weeping even while you’re laughing. Author Jon Ronson interviews a U.S. Army general who wants to walk through walls. This general directs him to the soldiers at Fort Bragg, N.C., who try to kill goats by staring at them, and they direct him to a martial-arts instructor who uses the same method to try to kill hamsters. (He does get a hamster to keel over for a few minutes.) Ronson also meets Uri Geller and the American soldiers who blast “Barney and Friends” music at Iraqi prisoners to force them to confess. He ends by telling the story of a CIA murder and cover-up plot. I’ve given the book to friends with my highest recommendation: “You need to know about this.” The movie, starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges, was released Nov. 6. I’ll watch it over semester break and tell you what I think. Reviewed by Louise Wynn

Poetry Place Poetry and Art Are the expression of an inner soul We might not know it But when you read poetry For others to hear Place it into the world for others It is like standing stark naked in front of a crowd Dots of black….. Accept me or not, I have nothing to hide Letting self be that open Heals the wounds inside Wounds that Perhaps Unaware Poetry is like love, we all experience it If lucky My people don’t need eyes They feel without them But they all need Or have Hearts Weather, the emotions of the earth I’m not good at rhyming or tetrameter But I know…. Rock love Emily Ferris was here… and so was Harrison Bola Karaoke Once upon a time, I busted a rhyme But the beauty of the words Brings out the hearts Of all Spontaneous moments of Poetry Brought to you by your peers at the Media Mayhem’s Fortune Festival Submit Now to the Salmon Creek Journal! [email protected] Send in poetry, prose, and visual art by Jan 15, 2010

good true story, based on the life of Michael Oher, a former football player for the University of Mississippi and current rookie with the Baltimore Ravens. Oher, an African American teenager from Memphis, Tennessee, has not seen his mom, a drug addict, or his siblings in several years. Throughout his life, he has been in and out of foster care, and now, he is essentially homeless. The movie focuses on how a wealthy Memphis family, the Tuohys, bring Oher into their home and help him improve his grades in order to attend Ole Miss on a football scholarship. Interestingly, Oher’s adoptive mom Leigh Anne Tuohy is the central focus of the movie rather than Oher. Two performances that stood out to me were those of Quinton Aaron, who plays Oher, and Jae Head, who plays Leigh Anne’s younger son, SJ. Head is a scene stealer, having some of the funniest lines in the movie. This movie is definitely melodramatic and there is a lot of overt foreshadowing. Less foreshadowing could have made some of the events more unpredictable and exciting. Overall, I really enjoyed this movie and believe non-sports fans will like it as well. Reviewed by Amy Thielen

‘A Christmas Carol,’ new film

A remake of the classic; great visual artwork Joey Hollibaugh Staff Writer

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obert Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol” brings to life Charles Dicken’s classic short story in a highly entertaining movie. The high scale computer animation does an excellent job of pulling its viewers into the story and sends them on an exciting, yet beautiful ride. Jim Carrey stars in the film as many various characters, but more notably as the story’s main character, Ebenezer Scrooge. Carrey’s portrayal of Scrooge is one of the harshest I have seen. I literally got chills when he cursed humanity. He also played the parts of the three ghosts. Another actor who is worth mentioning is Gary Oldman who played Bob Cratchit, Bob Marley, and Tiny Tim. The one thing that I was highly impressed with was how accurately they stuck to Charles Dicken’s original story. One part that I found particularly interesting was the portrayal of the ghost of Christmas past. Unlike every movie I have seen Zemeckis portrays him exactly as he was in the book. He is shown as a floating candle carrying his cap, which is used to put over the flame in order to extinguish it. This, and many other small things, made the film that much more interesting for me and made it feel like they were trying to capture the original feel of the story. One thing that I found to be absolutely amazing was the film’s computer animation. The effects were used beautifully to create a

Last issue’s answers: Difficulty:

realistic looking model of 19th century England. From the very beginning the movie pulls you in as you fly over the city and observe the people of the town moving about conducting their normal activities. The animation also does a great job of using the environment’s atmosphere to portray the feelings of the scene. Scrooge’s apartment looks dark and small giving off an eerie feel to the place, while Fred’s house is well lit and spaciously designed to give off all of the high spirits that naturally emanate from this character. Just like Zemeckis’ previous animated features, the director makes use of a facial movement capturing device to animate the character’s faces. Even though there is definitely some improvements since its use in the movie “The Polar Express” the character’s faces still seem a bit too cartoonish. Unlike the previous movies it is a little harder to recognize some of the actors in their roles. The most recognizable character/actor combination was that of Jim Carrey and the older Scrooge, but even then the only part of the face that is easily distinguishable is Carrey’s mouth. One thing that surprised me about the film was how dark it felt. Based on the commercials the film seems to be targeted towards a family audience, but I got an entirely different opinion when I actually saw the film. Charles Dicken’s original story was undoubtedly a ghost story and intentionally had very creepy moments intertwined with the emotionally moving story. This movie version is exactly the same way. There are some pretty intense scenes where the ghosts jump out at you from around corners and a few scenes where the atmosphere can only be described as being spooky. Even if these spooky scenes were not in the film I would still be hesitant of bringing young children to watch this movie just for the fact that they would probably get bored. There are quite a few comedic moments that will have your children giggling, however they are interspersed between long moments of old English dialogue that most children will not understand. Robert Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol” is a great film that is one of my favorite portrayals of a classic Christmas story. I felt that the movie did an excellent job at capturing the original feel of the short story while telling it in a way that today’s audiences will greatly enjoy. If you are going to see any film this holiday season “A Christmas Carol” is on the very top of my list of suggestions.

Turn your artwork, prose, poetry, and photography in to the Salmon Creek Journal by January 15, 2010. Send in to [email protected]

ARTS, CULTURE, AND ENTERTAINMENT 11

Everyone Who Looks Like You Coug’s Night Out Personal memories, secrets, and thoughts Triana Collins Student Involvement Editor

Hand 2 Mouth Theatre has put on a

dreamy, disorienting, funny, and at times uncomfortably intimate show about family titled Everyone Who Looks Like You. Five actors play themselves and reveal memories, personal thoughts, secrets, and imitations about the people who made them and who they are destined to become. On stage, they dress and undress, cry and laugh, cuddle and throw fits, eat cereal in their underwear and drink wine in their robes. They become each other’s family, memorize each others’ deep hopes and fears, then tell the audience, making us connect with our own memories of brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers. In loving detail, we are told how a father laughs, how a brother adjusts his boxers, how the vitamins a mother sends her daughter month after month are left to sit on the shelf and expire. It is explained how one child is more loved than another, about a secret car

Monday

accident that took two innocent lives, and about a mother’s catastrophic perm that reels into a dizzying chant of “what the f*** did you do to your hair?” The actors break into choreographed dance when tensions reach the breaking point; arms in the air stab at anything in front of them. Songs are sung when hearts feel tender and floor exercises are done when the home life seems stable and secure. An embarrassing explanation on the horrors of self-gratification given by two blubbering parents to their cornered son is acted out live and projected onto lowered window shades, engraving the hazy images into our own memories. The rhythmic music was sparse yet complete, and perfectly melted the actors’ swirling sentences and echoing words into a familiar feeling that pushes on the essence of family. A unique and 100% original production (as it was totally based on the actors own experiences), Hand2Mouth Theatre is a must see group. Visit hand2mouththeatre.org for upcoming performances.

DJ Schedule

Lisa Wood (1 p.m. - 2 p.m.), Club B (3 p.m. - 4 p.m.), Radiodiffusion Internasionaal (5 p.m.- 6 p.m.), Bob’s Jazz Show (6 p.m.- 8 p.m.), Hunted by the KOUG (8 p.m.- 10 p.m.)

Tuesday Modulations (11 a.m. - 12 p.m.), Jacob’s Modern Classical Hour (12 p.m. - 1 p.m.), Sweet Cee & Melodies (1 p.m. - 2 p.m.), Rock ‘N’ Roll Stew ( 2 p.m.- 5 p.m.), Andrew & Julian - The Electric Room Menagerie (5:30 p.m. - 7 p.m.)

Wednesday

Let’s Do Lunch (12 p.m. -1 p.m.), Unleash the Queen (5 p.m. - 7 p.m.), Bola Karaoke & Rockin’ with DJ Steph (7 p.m. - 9 p.m.), Matt Wright: Sampling 101 ( 9 p.m. - 10 p.m.), DJ: Fancy Pants ( 10 p.m. - 11 p.m.)

KOUG Radio Thursday

Harrison Polo Showlo ( 12 p.m. -1 p.m.), Auna’s koug-er den! ( 2 p.m.- 3 p.m.), Filet of soul ( 3 p.m. - 5 p.m.), Rich Lindsay Kill Ugly Radio ( 5 p.m. - 7 p.m.), Pop-Up Radio DJ Toropop & DJ Dede ( 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.), Mista Fer-Ris Variety Show ( 10 p.m. -11 p.m.)

Friday

Dr. Will ( 12 p.m. - 1 p.m.), dj giebs ( 2 p.m. - 3 p.m.), Bathtub Silhouette Variety Show Thing ( 3 p.m. - 4 p.m.), King TAM “double damage” reggae & experimental ( 4 p.m. - 6 p.m.), Calvin Wormblood: Funeral Rites ( 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.), Cara Cottingham: Local Expressions ( 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.)

Essential Guide to Bars and Clubs in Vancouver Jess Davis ACE Editor

Bar Name and Location

Bar Features and Happy Hour

Back Alley Bar & Grill 6503 E Mill Plain Blvd Vancouver, WA 98660 Phone: (360) 694.6873

Six pool tables, Karaoke seven days a week, Seven big screen TV’s. Happy Hour: M-F, 3 - 6 p.m.

Beaches 1919 Se Columbia River Dr Vancouver, WA 98661 Phone: (360) 699.1592

Waterfront location, Outdoor volleyball. Happy Hour: M-F, 4 - 6 p.m.

Blackstone 3200 SE 164th St. Vancouver, WA 98683 Phone: (360) 253.0523

Live music late week, Upscale atmosphere, Full menu during happy hour. Happy Hour: M-Sa, 4 - 6:30 p.m. & 9 p.m.Close, All Day Sunday

Chronis 819 Main Street Vancouver, WA 98660 Phone: (360) 690.0032

50 cent or 6/$2.50 Taco Tuesday night, Two dart boards, Pinball, Golf, Karaoke Th-Sa, 9pm. Happy Hour: M-F, 4 - 6 p.m.

Cinetopia/Vinetopia 11700 SE 7th St Vancouver, WA 98683 Phone: (360) 213.2800

State of the art theatres on-site, Full restaurant, Live Jazz and blues in bar and before movies, Wine tasting machines. Happy Hour: M-F, 3 - 6 p.m. & 8 - 10 p.m.

Elbow Room 1800 Broadway St Vancouver, WA 98663 Phone: (360) 694.3552

Heavy handed bartending, Attentive servers. Happy Hour: M-F, 5 - 7 p.m.

Irishtown 11600 SE Mill Plain Blvd # F Vancouver, WA 98684 Phone: (360) 253.1470

Full menu, Live Irish music on Wednesdays/ Rock music on Friday, Karaoke Monday, Two pool tables, Five dart boards, Big screen TV. Happy Hour: Everyday, 3 - 7 p.m.

Oscars Place 400 NE 112TH Ave Vancouver, WA 98684 Phone: (360) 256.7175

Three pool tables, One dart board, Shuffleboard! Happy Hour: M-F, 3-6pm.

The QuarterDeck 4300 E Fourth Plain Blvd Vancouver, WA 98661 Phone: (360) 694.8016

Karaoke Wed. and Fri; Four pool tables, Two dart boards, Two Mega Touch’s, Pinball, Golf, Foosball, WII. Happy Hour: M-W, 4 -7 p.m.

DJ Dossier: Morris and Chavez of the menagerie. “We don’t have a bathroom so we did what we usually do. We pull cups out of the trash near the station and pee in the cups. J Andrew Morris and DJ Julian Chavez But one time I picked up one that was too small are not your normal pairing for a radio show. and the cup runneth over.” Julian continued. But in the world of radio, this is what you “Luckily there was a half empty bottle of water would call a good thing. Their show, the Elecand I used it to wash my hands.” tric Room Menagerie is fun, full of music, and Andrew the co host also has his own personal even more full of randomness. The unscripted experiences. There was a large box of sugar show has had conversations from bananas becubes in the station and one time Andrew had hind the self, to Russian prostitutes and garden one too many. Julian mentioned that his co host gnomes. had started to get really jittery and appeared as The shows name comes from the idea that if Andrew was on “more than just a sugar high”. since the radio station is in the old electrical “Something happens in every show we do.” room, it makes a little joke about the location. Julian said. “It’s a sexy rock goulash.” And the use of the word Menagerie is due to the Julian is KOUG Radios PR Director. In his wide selection of music they play. Their “wild position he maintains contact with the other and exotic music” consists of anything from students and faculty, updates the facebook page classic rock to hardcore punk music. The Elec“KOUG Ray Dio” and help organize events. tric Room Menagerie also includes a variety of His job can take him as near as next door and as music from around the world. far out as the local bands. If the duo is not playing music at the moment, Andrew is the Legal Contact for KOUG. His they are likely reviewing recent movies or video job is to keep on top of any legislature that games. But on the more radical side of things, might affect local bands and radio stations. they will talk about randomly googled things Additionally, he is there to make sure nobody such as the small town in Russia that has the breaks any station laws. most brothels and garden gnomes in the world. When asked about the estimated life of the Julian mentioned that one of the craziest Electric Room Menagerie Julian says that it has things that he has done is when he found a baa strong life line. “For at least the next two years nana that was covered in dust behind the bookthe show will run.” Andrew will be around for shelf of the radio station. After dusting it off he the next few years and next year Julian graduproceeded to eat the banana on the air. He adds ates. Even after the legendary banana eater has that it tasted fine and there were only a couple moved on the show will have a new co host. spots on it. If you want to tune in to the chaos the show Julian also adds another story to the meddling runs every Tuesday from 5:30 to 7p.m. Listen to KOUG Radio streaming live on kougradio.com Jake Kleinschmidt

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Managing Editor

Turn your artwork, prose, poetry, and photography in to the Salmon Creek Journal by January 15, 2010. Send in to [email protected]

12 STUDENT GOVERNMENT

From the ASWSUV President Congratulations and thank yous

It is easy to see the faults—the things my

colleagues and I could have done better or the things we haven’t yet done. It is easy to become overstressed during this time of year with finals fast approaching, the holiday season shortly thereafter, and a new year complete with new choices that will take life in new directions. But as I write this, I am fortunate enough to be able to focus on the positives—the great changes that have already been made and those yet to come. ASWSUV’s Fall Leadership Conference was a success. Over thirty students attended and Greg Bell reminded us all to plan for success and be patient as we “water the bamboo.” One hundred, seventeen students filled out our October survey and revealed the areas on campus where wireless internet should be

improved. By filling this survey out, you have helped us to help you, and I thank you for this. Bowling Nights continue to be wildly successful. With or without a pitcher of beer, it is easy to see the Cougar love on forty-two full lanes each month. At the time this article was written, we are half way to our goal of receiving six hundred personalized letters to send to legislators saying enough is enough when it comes to tuition increases. I have no doubt we will reach our goal and am even hopeful that we will exceed six hundred. I attribute much of these successes to the quality of our web site, ASWSUV.com. It has been visited more this month than all of last year. We have been successful this year and I am proud to say I am a member of ASWSUV. I also look forward to the future and I think about what I would like to see happen—more students at PB&J Club sharing their thoughts about what could be improved further and what is going well; even more students attending events and meeting new people; and surpassing the goal of our letter-writing campaign—but we would not be where we are, or able to succeed in the future without certain people. Thank you to Nicole, my Vice President, for her continued dedication and creative approaches to problems; to each member of my Executive staff for their friendship and consistent hard work; to each Senator for their enthusiasm and commitment to the highest standards; and to Michelle McIlvoy, OSI Manager and my friend, for her listening ear and thoughtful advice. And thank you to each student who comes to Washington State University Vancouver seeking to gain an education, an experience, and ultimately a degree from our great school. GO COUGS! Happy holidays and see you after break! Nicholas Ferderer

ASWSUV will be handing out goodie bags Monday through Thursday of Finals week as well as having a relaxation station in the Firstenburg Student Commons

STUDENT GOVERNMENT I’d have a present for you, too, but finances are a little tight, with the recession and all

My gift to you is that I’m going to stop gossiping about you!

I HOPE YOU LAUGH. Oh, it’s fine! I understand. You don’t need to get me anything.

by: Danielle Mosier

...but I do want to do something for you.

You gossip about me? ...but isn’t it great?! It’s probably better than anything I could have ever bought you anyhow. Just think! No more sarcastic comments about how “funny” you are, your ridiculously high expectations of yourself, how annoying your laugh is... I can’t believe she just stomped out like that! Some people just can’t graciously accept a gift, I guess. What is her problem? Kendal will absolutely NOT believe this...

13

WSU-V’s Education Club Toy Drive •December 7th-18th •Barrels will be placed in the student commons, the undergraduate building, the cafeteria, and the library! •The drive is benefiting two Head Start 3-5 year old classrooms from Vancouver’s Educational

Goodie bag hand-out times will be: 7:45 - 8:15 a.m., 10:15 - 10:45 a.m., 12:45 - 1:15 p.m., and 3:15 - 3:45 p.m. They will be between the Library and VMMC

14

OPINIONS AND EDITORIALS

{ The VanCougar The VanCougar is a student-run newspaper serving the students, faculty and staff of WSU Vancouver. Copies of The VanCougar are available free of charge every other Monday during the school year.

Editor-in-Chief Katie Wells

Managing Editor Jake Kleinschmidt

Adviser Dean Baker

Advertising Manager Ben Ryan

Campus News Editor Sally Thrall

ACE Editor Jess Davis

Feature Editor Danielle Tanner

Student Involvement Editor Triana Collins

Student Government Editor Adam Fox

Sports Editor Erik Cummings

Web Editor Bryan Torppa

Copy Editor Kati Hughes

Staff Writers

Louise Wynn, Matt Hunter, Amy Thielen, Rup Brar, John McNett, Sally Thrall, Chau Nguyen, Joey Hollibaugh, Triana Collins, Meghan Bartosovsky, Kenneth Allan, Justin Rossetti, and Yen Nguyen

Photographers

Joe Creager, Mark Balyshev, Joseph Tiegs, and Katie Anderson

Location: VCLS 212 14024 NE Salmon Creek Ave. Vancouver, WA 98686 Phone: (360) 546-9524

E-mail the Editor-in-Chief and Managing Editor: [email protected]

E-mail the Section Editors: [email protected]

Advertising:

[email protected]

We are hiring!

We are always hiring. No experience is necessary; we will provide all the training you need in journalistic style, photography, and digital print making. E-mail us at vancouged@vancouver. wsu.edu or visit our office in VCLS 212 for more information.

Letters to the Editor

We encourage letters to the editor. Please include your full name as part of the letter, and a phone number or e-mail address for confirmation followup. Letters must be by a student, faculty, or staff member. E-mail to [email protected]. edu

Advertising queries

Advertising information and rates can be found on our web site at www.vancouver.wsu.edu/ss/ vancougar. E-mail [email protected]. edu for quotes.

Corrections policy

}

It is our policy to correct errors. Please contact the editors by e-mail at vancouged@vancouver. wsu.edu

“Climate Change is Here to Stay, Man!”

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any parents develop methods of embarrassing their children. My dad had a number of methods. One of them was finding his inner hippie. At these times, my dad would adopt a noodle-backed posture and loudly say some dated sixties phrase in a stoned hippie voice. One of his favorite lines was, “Rock n Roll is here to stay, man!” This line (which always left my siblings and me groaning with embarrassment) came to mind when I heard about the series of scandals surrounding the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Anglia in England. For those of you who know nothing of the scandals, you are not alone. The mainstream media has been very bashful about covering it, preferring either to ignore it altogether or to mention it offhand just before the celebrity update. Here’s the basic outline of events. The CRU has been one of the premier climate change research organizations, and its research has been the principle evidence used by proponents of policies to curb manmade global warming. The CRU has concluded that global climate change is real and it is manmade. On November 19, a hacker- or possibly a whistleblower- posted thousands of emails and documents from the Climate Research Unit on a Russian file-sharing server. There’s a lot that is in the emails, but it is clear that the researchers at the CRU were manipulating their models to support their claims about man-made climate change. In addition, the emails speak of blocking freedom of information requests and manipulating the peer-review process. This was a devastating shock to the scientific community, but it was soon followed by another. During Thanksgiving vacation, officials at the CRU revealed that they discarded a significant portion of the raw temperature records data collected around the world- the very data on which the CRU built its models. And how did the CRU lose its raw data you ask? Apparently, the data was stored on paper and magnetic tape. When the CRU moved to a new office, the reels were dumped in the name of space. Now, there’s a lot of outrage on both sides of the political spectrum over what is being termed “Climategate.” On the one hand, it’s hard to overstate the significance of the scandal. The research and conclusions of the CRU are arguably the centerpiece argument for carbon reduction policies. Certainly, no self-respecting scientist would say that the CRU’s research is trustworthy. Scientific research has been denied validity for much less than what the CRU has done. Therefore, much of what has been assumed to be scientific fact concerning climate change will again need to be validated. But to those climate change skeptics dancing in the streets, I can only say that their glee is misguided. The manmade climate change debate is not going away anytime soon. The believers in manmade climate change may seem to have been struck a devastating blow, but they will continue on as strong as ever. For as the word “believer” implies, climate change long ago became something far more than mere scientific inquiry. The story of increasing CO2 levels in the atmosphere, rising seas, disappearing species, and disenfranchised poor has become a myth. By myth, I don’t mean a falsehood but rather a story by which higher truths are communicated. For the people of secular industrialized nations desperately need a myth- something they can cling to for truth and purpose. Their lives have been robbed of mystery and purpose. The grand myth of climate change, filled with great dangers and the possibility for a united global endeavor, is tremendously powerful. Add to this equation the tremendous sums of money that have already been invested in green technology, and I see no reason proponents of manmade climate change should be concerned by the CRU’s corruption. “Climate change is here to stay, man!”

Renjie Huang: Volcanoes, space, and the future

Renjie Huang moved halfway around the

world and changed majors so he could work on a project that may save thousands of lives when (not if) Mount St. Helens erupts again. His research may even become part of future NASA missions. He has been working on a smart-sensor network with scientists from the USGS Volcano Science Center and NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab that detects earth tremors that may be precursors to an eruption. Renjie came to the U.S. two years ago to study computer science under Dr. Wenzhan Song, who directs the Sensorweb Research Laboratory in WSUV’s School of Engineering and Computer Science. The USGS has been monitoring Mount St. Helens since long before the 1980 eruption. In fact, it was the USGS’s monitoring program that saved so many lives then. But the monitoring devices were expensive, hard to put in place and to maintain, and tended to fail during wind and snow storms, leaving Cascades Volcano Observatory (CVO) scientists without the knowledge they needed to do their jobs. Renjie’s project replaces the old monitoring devices with sensors which, after being dropped into place by helicopters, communicate with each other and a NASA satellite no matter what the weather. Because these “smart” sensors are connected with each other and a NASA satellite, when one fails, the others redirect the network so information can continue being relayed to CVO. The devices, which are as far as 2 kilometers apart, communicate with each other through an amplified 802.15.4 radio. They collect realtime continuous seismic, infrasonic, lightning, and GPS raw data. Fifteen new sensors were deployed within a few hours in July 2008. The network has been working continuously since October 2008. Each “spider” is about one meter tall with three legs stretching out two meters. The wide base gives them stability in all kinds of conditions. Even in heavy rain, snow, ice, and wind gusts of more than 120 mph, the system delivers its information 99% of the time. The sensors can tell the difference between snow falling from a branch, wind blowing, an animal passing by, and the sounds of magma moving below the volcano. The magma movement can be a warning of an impending eruption. According to NASA scientists who work on the project with WSUV and CVO, sensors like these ones will someday be deployed on Mars, where they will monitor dust storms, the freezing and thawing of the ice caps, and Mars quakes. On Titan and Europa, they will be part of NASA’s search for life. NASA Principal Scientist for Autonomous Systems Steve Chien says, “These kinds of

sensors are exactly what will enable us to go there.” Renjie says the spiders cost about $3,000 each. “Because they’re so inexpensive to make and maintain, we can deploy more of them and better understand the events going on in the volcano. When it becomes more active, we’ll know it.” Each spider’s sensor box contains a seismometer, infrasonic (low-frequency sound) detector, and a lightning sensor. “When ash erupts, it collides with the colder air and generates electricity,” Renjie explains. “The sensors can detect lightning strikes 10 kilometers away. The spiders also have a microcontroller and a GPS antenna which lets CVO scientists detect deformation on the volcano’s flank to a resolution of one centimeter. Renjie says this is important because small seismic events now will continue and eventually the mountain will erupt again, and the USGS will again be able to warn people. All the information gathered by the sensors is available online to anyone who wants to use it for research. The USGS plans to use the system to monitor volcanoes in Hawaii as soon as next year.

Renjie Huang: Quick Profile

Born: Guangzhou, in southern China First language: Mandarin Chinese Previous education: BS, electrical engineering, South China University of Science and Technology MS, electrical engineering, Huazhong University of Science and Technology Current degree program: PhD, computer science Came to the U.S: Two years ago What he likes about this area: The scenery and all the places to visit: “I’ve been to the east coast, and the west coast is much more beautiful!” Favorite food: Chinese Why his research is important not just for USGS and NASA scientists: “This technology will significantly change people’s lives, with applications already in place for medical monitoring.” Advice for students: “Everyone finds lots of difficulties when they work for a goal, but if you think it’s impossible, it will never be possible. So you need to insist on your vision, and do the best you can.”

School is out until January 11, 2010 - Make sure to register for classes and buy your books as early as possible!

OPINIONS AND EDITORIALS

15

Gemini (May 21-June 21): Love is not just that magical feeling in your heart. Feelings of love will become stronger as you show your love by serving the people you love. All of us need to feel the love of someone doing something for us more than we need to hear those three words. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will make 2010 into your best yet by committing to yourself to be cut back on your spending, take more time to study than you have in the past, and be more open and loving to your family and friends. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your personal relationships—with friends, parents and siblings, significant others, and children—will bring you your greatest long-term happiness, so don’t skimp on the time and love you give them. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ve been known to look for a secret trick, a shortcut, a magical key that will unlock the mysteries of the universe, help us lose weight, earn more money, and get better grades, without much effort. It ain’t gonna happen, so settle down and get back to work. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Make sure to say thank you for the gifts you receive over the holidays. Your grateful heart will help everyone around you in a continuous upward spiral of good will and joy. And that’s what it’s all about. Aries (March 21-April 19): With the holidays coming, you may feel the sadness that many people feel when their high expectations aren’t met. To feel better immediately when this sadness hits you, do something kind for someone else. It always works. Taurus (April 20-May 20): To know, but not to do, is really not to know. A good resolution for the New Year would be to do more with what you already know, fitting your actions to the knowledge, beliefs, and values you already have.

Dear Editor,

On page 12 of the November 16 issue of The VanCougar, it was reported that the “senate concerned itself with the judiciary’s role in appraising which types of funding needs formal requests and which items can be left to the discretion of the ASWSUV.” To offer some clarification, the Senate was discussing Article IV (7) (b), which states that the Senate shall “authorize entry into contractual or financial relationships on behalf of ASWSUV.” Time was reserved during the meeting to discuss and vote on whether the clause should go before the Judicial Board for clarification. It was decided unanimously that it would go before the Board. There are two basic interpretations that the clause will fall into. The first interprets the clause to mean that the Senate, as an

agent of ASWSUV, can enter into contractual or financial relationships, on behalf of the organization. Whereas, another interpretation holds that it means the Senate shall confirm contractual or financial agreements made on behalf of ASWSUV. Back to the article in question, requests for funding were not the focus of the discussion, but rather an example of possible ramifications of one of the interpretations. An argument made against the second interpretation was that it would mean the Senate may have to confirm all types of financial expenditures, travel requests, and more. The discussion shortly focused on possible solutions to that problem. Note: As of the writing of this letter, I was informed that the Senate’s decision to go to the Judicial Board is likely to change as the issue may have been resolved. Sincerely, Michael Hatch ASWSUV PR Director

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Remember the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Here’s an even better one. I call it the platinum rule: Treat other people the way THEY want to be treated (because sometimes what they want is different from what you’d like). Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): As you approach year’s end and make plans and goals for 2010, think about who you really are. And remember what Margaret Thatcher said about this: If you have to tell someone how smart, beautiful, powerful---or whatever--you are, then you aren’t. Virgo (August 23-Sept. 22): While setting goals for the New Year, consider breaking down your large goals into small, do-able steps. Telling yourself you’ll get all A’s next semester doesn’t help much, but resolving to study each subject each day will make a huge difference. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Don’t assume that the people you love know it automatically. Sure, you do nice things for them, but tell them you love them, too. You’ll find that as you do loving things and say loving words, your love will increase and you’ll be happier. Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Our families rarely live up to our expectations for them—and life is never as rosy as in the movies—which may be why the holidays are hard on so many of us. So take a deep breath, get into the spirit of Madame L the season, and just do your very own best. Staff Astrologist

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t’s that time of the year again folks: Christmas trees, holiday hams and rampaging zombies. Yes, after finals week as we all know is when the dead rise up despite whose naughty and who’s nice. I remember last year’s outbreak and how many people were run over trying to seek shelter in a Wal-Mart store. So this year I thought that if I shared my survival skills with the world then maybe fewer people would be eaten alive by their grandma. The very first thing you should know is that under no circumstances should you even ingest one bite of that delicious Christmas dinner. That ham, or worse that turkey will make you very tired and slow down your reflexes. If you want to be a gift wrapped present for a few hungry zombies, this is a sure way to do it. Now that we have the basics down, let’s move on to common defenses. You never know when a zombie will come through the main doorway, or end up sitting next to you at the dinner table. So be prepared at any given moment to fight for your life. Remember, the only sure way to kill a zombie is from trauma to the head. Remember this is Christmas; there will be scissors for gift wrapping everywhere because nobody puts things away when they are drunk off their feet. Depending on your environment, dinner knives or desert knives will be available to you. Just like scissors, these are great for defense. If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, where there is nothing relatively effective for defense, do not give up hope. Great makeshift weapons can range from anything like the cheap golf set you got your dad, to grandma’s brick of a fruitcake. Also, the cheap hair products you got for your mother and sister can be effectively turned into aerosol flame throwers that can be used to take out several zombies at once. Do not do this near the Christmas tree however. I recommend you review during any free time you may have Tim Burtons Nightmare Before Christmas. Despite what you may think the movie was actually a survival guide for any and all survivalists wishes to not become zombie happy meals. Before the outbreak Tim Burton actually stumbled upon secret government documents highlighting the weaknesses of the zombies that they were testing in labs for super soldiers. If you find yourself in a urban environment that has an unusually high concentration of

zombies, you will want to create some barriers between you and the oncoming horde. A great first line of defense is your many cartons of spoiled eggnog. This can be used as trip hazard for your balance impaired foes. Any available bludgeoning weapons such as bowling balls and baseball bats are of great use while a zombie is on the ground. However, zombies are ankle biters. Use those extra pairs of socks you got for Christmas; for once you will be thankful for them. Zombies are attracted to bright lights and loud noises. So turn off your Christmas decorations and turn down the party music. You will be safe enough to look out your reinforced window to laugh at your annoying neighbor who has way too many lights and that annoying Christmas jingle blasting your street all night long. Keep a watchful eye on the weather. If temperatures are below freezing, that is good news. Zombies produce no body heat, so any threats will be zombicicles until they thaw. This is your window of opportunity to shatter some zombie heads outside. If you manage to survive all the way through until New Years Eve you will be able to rest easy. The zombie antivirus will be released into the air eliminating all threats zombie infection with it. That is until the next zombie season. So for now, keep your wits and guts with you, and good luck.

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inter break! I just want to thank all of my staff — reporters, editors, photographers, illustrators, and my ad guy — you guys have done an awesome job this semester! Dean Baker, you’ve been fantastic. Thank you for working so hard. Also, thank you to the readers, contributors, critics, and advertising clients. Next, I want to say that after the murders of Seattle Police Officer Timothy Brenton, Lakewood Police Sergeant Mark Renninger, and Lakewood Police Officers Ronald Owens, Tina Griswald, and Greg Richards, that cops are really taken for granted. We, as citizens, expect them to rescue us when we call dispatch, to retrieve our belongings when they are stolen, to protect our families, and to keep the streets safe. Yet, we curse them when they write us tickets for breaking the law. We call them ‘pigs’, make jokes about donuts, and usually ‘hate’ them. I challenge everyone to show their appreciation toward the police officers in our area, even when receiving a ticket. Thank you Law Enforcement Officers for putting your lives in danger for us every single day.

Join professional journalists and editors for Journalism Boot Camp on 1/16 from 1 - 7 p.m. More information at vancougar.ning.com

16 CALENDAR

Observations and reflections of community service and research undertaken by students in English 201. 10:30 a.m. to noon

Dead Week until 12/11

Beginning of Finals Week

Last day of final exams

WSU Cougars Men’s Basketball vs. LSU Tigers at 7 p.m.; tickets on sale for $5

Christmas Day

Indoor archery @ 7 p.m. at Archery World; $5

Invites you to an:

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End-of-the Semester Potluck/Lunch

F N i e w Journalism r s p Interview s a p t e r A Mass Media m Bootcamp e 2009-2010 n d m e n t Photography

Staff Writer

Design

Accurate Editor-In-Chief

Newsworthy

January 16, 2010 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. Free and Open to the Public Please RSVP at [email protected] to get a lunch Questions: [email protected] Join professionals: Erin Middlewood, The Columbian; Matt Wastrodowski, The Columbian; Kathie Durbin, The Columbian; Justin Carinci, Portland Daily Journal of Commerce; Michael Andersen, The Columbian; Mike Rogoway, The Oregonian; Brandy Grey, The Reflector; and more.

with Professor Diversi When: Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 Time: 12:00-1:00 P.M. Where: McClaskey Building, Room 205 (Conference Room)

You don’t want to miss this! Come and celebrate the end-of-the semester with a potluck/lunch and get to know Professor Diversi as he joins us for a question and answer time. Just bring a favorite side dish to share. Log onto the Nexo website to see what others are bringing & sign up to bring your favorite side dish: www.humandevelopment. nexo.com. Questions: Contact Mary Krzysiak at [email protected]

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