The Universe #5

5 “There’s so many things that I want to do.” “Like what?” ‘Like when I see people ill, I want to be a doctor.” “Doctor! I never thought you’d like to be one.” “Of course it’s impossible now, for the time being. But I just thought that, maybe, if I were better with math and chemistry and biology and all those stuff in high school, I’d definitely consider going to medical school.” “Mmm.” “I always think of myself as a people person. I like to be with people. I want to help people. Like, I’d like to be a nurse as well.“ “Now I see why you said you wanted to be a lot of things.” “But I don’t know if I ‘d be good at that…though I wanted to. People kept telling me that I’m very ‘distant’ to them.” “I know. I used to feel so, too.” “Yea. But I never meant to be like that! Sometimes this problem gets really serious.” “Really?” “Yea. Like, if people wanted to know something about me, they’d never ask me directly. They’d ask my friends! I mean, am I THAT scary? Like Cruella or something!” “You’re not scary.” “So if I ever become a nurse, I’d scare the little children. Like, ‘Here comes the scary nurse! Run!’” “Definitely.” “Anyway, that just decides itself for me that I couldn’t be a nurse, or a doctor, or anything like that. Oh, but there’s another thing that I wanted to do.” “Another thing?” “Yes! I used to want to work in the UN or some kind of organization like that.” “Now it’s more like you.” “Is it?” “Yea. You want to do something, right?” “Yea. I want to be useful. And this kind of job will allow me to help more people… much more than being a nurse.” “But you said you ‘used to’ want to work there…” “I changed my mind.” “Why?” “I don’t know.” “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’? You must have decided not to do it for some

reasons.” “Well, I mean…I just stopped wanting to do that. I don’t know why. But later on when I thought about this again, I realized that my health condition really would never allow me to do that.” “Well, that’s true. It must be tough.” “Yea. Like, you’ll probably have to travel around all those small countries in Africa…” “And suffer from some unknown diseases…” “And they wouldn’t let you immigrate for fear of infection…” “And you’ll be forced to stay in Africa for the rest of your life.” 5 「我想做好多事情。 」 「比如說？」 「比如說，當我看見人生病的時候，我就想變成一位醫生。 」 「醫生？我從不知道 想當個醫生！」 「當然時間過去，現在是不可能了。只是我想，如果我在高中的時候數學、或化學、 或生物等等方面再好一點，我一定會考慮上醫學院。 」 「 。 」 「我認為自己是一個親近人群的人。我喜歡跟人在一起，我想要 助人。例如，我 也想當個護士。 」 「現在我知道為什麼 說 想做很多事了。 」 「只是我不知道我會不會做得很好……即使我很想做。別人常常告訴我，我跟他 們有段距離。 」 「我 。以前我也這樣覺得。 」 「但是我根本沒有想要這樣！有時候這個問題會變得非常嚴重。 」 「真的 ？」 「對！像是假如別人想要知道我的事情，他們不會直接來問我，而是去找我的朋 友。我的意思是，我有那麼可怕嗎？像吸血鬼似的。 」 「不會 ！」 「所以假如我真的變成護士，我大概會嚇到那些小孩：『嚇人的護士來了！快 跑！ 』 」 「的確。 」 「總之，這樣我就不能成為護士了，或是醫生之類的。對了，我還有一件事想做。」 「另一件事？」 「對！我曾經想要在聯合國裡面工作，或是類似的國際組織。 」 「這比較像 。 」 「真的 ？」 「對 ， 想有番作為，對吧？」

「嗯。我想成為一個有用的人。在那樣的機構裡工作讓我可以幫助更多的人，比當 個護士還要多。 」 「你說你『曾經』想要在那兒工作……」 「我改變心意了。 」 「為什麼？」 「不知道。 」 「什麼叫『不知道』？一定有某些原因讓你改變心意了。 」 「 ，我想，我就是不想做了，不知道為什麼。但是後來我再想到這件事，我發 現我的健康條件不允許我這麼做。 」 「 ，真的，會很辛苦。 」 「是 ， 可能要在很多非洲小國家旅行…」 「然後感染一些不知名的疾病…」 「為了避免傳染，他們不會讓 出境…」 「逼不得已， 只能在非洲度過餘生。 」