The Racketeers

THE RACKETEERS by Ilanna Sharon Mandel WGA Registration #1232357

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EXT. LA POLICE STATION – DAY TWO VERY SCRUFFY MEN (30’S) are standing outside the police station. One of them, DARREN is smoking and the other, MARK is looking around as if he expects to be arrested. DARREN I’m telling you this can’t miss! Police need guys like us. MARK Guys like us? Unemployed guys on welfare? DARREN Stop being such a wuss! Shit man, you’re scared of your own piss. Just follow my lead. MARK I am not. And, the last time I followed you anywhere I spent the night sleeping on a log in a wet park with a dog licking me. DARREN (laughs) Yup, and it’s the best you’d had in a long time. MARK Shut up! DARREN You shut up, or you’re out of this whole thing. MARK (begrudgingly) Promise? Darren grabs Mark by the sleeve and drags him up the stairs and they disappear into the station. INT. POLICE STATION – A FEW MOMENTS LATER Darren and Mark are standing AT THE COUNTER. A FEMALE POLICE OFFICER (late 40’s) is listening to their story and rolling her eyes.

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POLICE OFFICER (shouts out) Frazee, this one is for you! SEVERAL OF THE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND hear Frazee’s name called and laugh either to themselves or openly. SARGEANT FRAZEE (50’S) walks out of his office. He is a large fellow, overweight and somewhat slovenly in appearance. He’s carrying A CUP OF COFFEE which spills onto the floor as he walks. This elicits more laughs. FRAZEE What have we got here? (points to Darren and Mark) OFFICER Oh, this one’s for you, Frazee! Definitely. Frazee and the officer exchange dirty looks. There is still snickering around the squad room. Frazee looks at Darren and Mark, shakes his head and gestures towards the officer then Darren and Mark. FRAZEE Thanks a lot, Sheehan. Okay, you two clowns come with me. Darren and Mark shuffle after Frazee who is obviously annoyed at having to deal with them. He leads them into his small office which is messy and cluttered. He pushes a few papers around on his desk and makes a small space for a pad and pen. He sits down and motions for them to sit down in two chairs opposite him. FRAZEE (obviously annoyed) Okay, what’s the scam? Whadda you two want? Maybe you can fool the officer out there but I’ve been in the force for 25 years, and I don’t take no shit. So, what’s the deal with you two? DARREN (looking offended) No scam, officer. We’re gonna be up front about

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Everything', I can assure you. But uh…25 years in the force? That’s a long time man. How come you still a sergeant and no one made you a Dick? FRAZEE (flushes a little – shows embarrassment) What’s it to you shithead? (beat) Anyway, uh… what do you want? I got work to do. Darren and Mark shift around in their seats a bit. They’re obviously nervous but they try to appear confident. DARREN Well, sergeant, the thing is we may not be the best people in the world, but we’re honest. And, lately it’s come to our attention that we got a drug dealer operating in our immediate neighborhood. FRAZEE Drug dealer, huh? DARREN That’s right, sir. Ain’t that right, Mark? MARK Yup, that’s right. (beat) Drug dealers, and nasty buggers too. Frazee sits back in his chair, crosses his arms over his chest. He shakes his head and it’s obvious he doesn’t believe anything he hears. FRAZEE You got drug dealers, call the cops. MARK You are the cops. FRAZEE I mean, why’d you come all the way down here? Call 911 you goof-heads. Now, get out of here. I told you, I got work to do. DARREN Sargeant, if you’ll just give us a few minutes? Please?

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FRAZEE What the hell? Okay – go. DARREN Thing is, this dealer’s using kids. He’s not just selling drugs, if you know what mean. Frazee sits up. He’s obviously very interested now. FRAZEE You’re sayin’ he’s got a porn ring with kids? DARREN I guess that’s what you could call it, sir. I know the kids sell the drugs for him, cause I seen them running around the streets. Hell, I mean heck, they tried to sell ‘em to me. Tell him Mark. (He nudges Mark with his elbow). MARK Oh, yeah (beat), he uh…(beat) he’s got kids doing his dirty work. Poor kids too. DARREN He’s just takin’ advantage of them, but I think we can help. That is, if the police want us to. FRAZEE What can you do? DARREN We’ll be informers for you. Watch this guy night and day. We’ll get all the proof you need to put him away. And, if I may say so sergeant, if we do this together then it’s a feather in your cap. Right? Detective Frazee sounds good, don’t you think? FRAZEE (softly as if to himself) Yeah, right. Hmmmm. Kids in a drug ring, huh? DARREN Like my good friend Mark said, it’s nasty doing that to kids – they’re innocent in all this. He’s just abusing them. We wanna help. And, if you use us, you don’t have no expensive Surveillance. Plus, you get the credit.

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FRAZEE Yeah? And, what’s in this for you boys? DARREN Maybe a little help with some unfortunate financial debts? MARK Yeah, not much. I mean, we ain’t looking’ to get rich or nothin’. FRAZEE (sarcastically) Course not. (beat) (quietly) Okay, but if we do this, it’s on the Q.T. It would have to be my sting. Capiche? DARREN Yeah, Sargeant, we capiche. (he smiles and shows a mouthful of bad teeth) Frazee shows Darren and Mark out of his office and closes the door. From behind the door, we can hear him saying to himself. FRAZEE Detective Frazee. I like the sound of that. FADE OUT. FADE IN. EXT. EVENING – SEEDY NEIGHBORHOOD IN L.A. Darren and Mark are just hanging around. It’s dusk and the streets are pretty quiet. We hear a couple arguing in the background but we don’t see them. MARK Don’t you think we laid it on a little thick? I mean kiddie porn? DARREN (laughs) What the hell? This stupid idiot is from England. He don’t know nothin’. By the time the cops

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get through with him; he’ll be some guys’ little girlfriend in the joint. MARK (shivers a bit) Think so? Really? DARREN Mark, shut up! You’re worse than a chick. Course it happens – better him than us, right? Mark nods his head up and down but he’s obviously not completely on board ‘with the plan’. MARK (shivers with disgust) Shit! Some guy’s girlfriend! That ain’t no life. DARREN (whispering) Shut up! There he is. Darren in his in the Darren

points to a TALL, GANGLY MAN. THIS IS ANTHONY. He’s forties, carrying a beer in one hand and a cigarette other. He’s on foot and as soon as he turns his back and Mark head after him.

EXT. STREETS OF LA – CONTINUOUS In a series of very brief vignettes, Darren and Mark trail Anthony around various places in their neighborhood. He heads to a fast food place to get something to eat, walks around a bit. Finally they see him giving a small envelope to a YOUNG KID ABOUT 13 OR 14. The kid takes the envelope and gives Anthony money in exchange. Once the exchange is complete, the kid runs off and Anthony looks around to make sure all is ok. He happens to see Darren and Mark staring at him. He gets suspicious and walks away. Darren and Mark follow. Anthony is ahead of Darren and Mark by about half a block. He’s very aware now that they’re following him. He starts to get nervous and picks up the pace. Darren and Mark keep following him. A few moments later, Anthony meets up with ANOTHER KID ABOUT THE SAME AGE and the same transaction takes place. Darren and Mark look at one another. The look

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says ‘they have the goods’ on Anthony. But, just as soon as the transaction is complete, a car comes by, and Anthony gets in. The kid runs off and the car speeds away. DARREN Yes! This is fantastic! We got him man, we got him! MARK What’re you talkin’ about? We don’t got nothin’. DARREN What? We saw him. We saw everything. MARK So what? It’s still his word against ours. We gotta get proof. Without proof, we don’t got nothin’. DARREN Shit, you’re right. You got a camera? MARK Oh sure. I’ll just go and pick up my equipment. No! Do you? DARREN (annoyed) No. The two of them sit down on the sidewalk looking dejected. MARK Ok, let’s think this through. All we need are a few photographs of him doing his crap. That’s all really. We could get one of those little ones from the drugstore. DARREN Man, I can’t afford that. Every cent I got is for the rent. I’m empty. MARK I’ll ask my brother. I’ll say it’s for I don’t know…an emergency. He’s helped me out before.

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DARREN Yeah, but every time you go to him it’s the third degree. Are you working, Mark? When are you going to make real change in your life, Mark? I don’t see how this money can help you make meaningful change, Mark. MARK So, I’ll put up with this shit for a couple of hours. I bet I get the money though. DARREN What’ll you tell him it’s for? MARK I dunno. I’ll think of somethin’. Darren and Mark walk off into the night. EXT. THEIR APARTMENT BUILDING – A COUPLE HOURS LATER Darren sees Mark walking towards him with a big smile on his face. DARREN You got it? MARK Yup and a little extra. DARREN What’d you say? MARK Let’s just say I poured it on thick. My brother would have said no, but my sister in law gave him ‘the look’. He caved after that. (they both laugh). DARREN Now what? Just then Anthony comes out of the building. ANTHONY Yeah, now what boys?

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DARREN Hey man, how’s it going? ANTHONY I don’t know you tell me. Why the fuck were you two tailing me earlier? Hmmm? DARREN What? What’re you talking about? We weren’t tailing you. (laughs nervously) Anthony takes out a gun. ANTHONY This says you were. DARREN Okay, let’s keep our heads. No need to get all mafia on each others’ asses. ANTHONY Course not. (beat) I’ll just blow your asses off and leave them in the dumpster. MARK (panicking) I told you this was a stupid idea and… DARREN (interrupting) Shut up! ANTHONY What idea? MARK Well, you see we need money, so Darren thought… ANTHONY (interrupting) Didn’t I just tell you to shut up? MARK I don’t wanna die and…

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ANTHONY Both of you shut up! You’re getting’ on my nerves. (beat) Now, what was the plan? Darren and Mark look at one another. They are both terrified. Anthony slaps Darren’s face hard. Mark is shocked. Darren is furious but knows he can’t do anything. ANTHONY (cont’d) Now then, my American friend. What was the plan? Don’t make me use this. I don’t want to blow you away but your asses don’t mean nothin’ to me. DARREN (nonchalant) We’re doing some work for the cops. That’s all. ANTHONY (shakes his head in acknowledgement) Shit! Just what I need. What have you told them? DARREN (confidently) Everything. We’re just getting proof. But they’re doing surveillance and police got your name, man. So if anything happens to us, they’ll know. They know where you live, where you hang out, the whole deal. Killin’ me will only get you a death sentence. But a simple drug conviction (beat) you might even beat that. Anthony starts pacing around the sidewalk. He’s agitated and angry. ANTHONY Shit! You stupid shit! Why! I ain’t done nothin’ to you. What’s the deal? You got a hard on for some cop? DARREN (smiling broadly) Nah. Not my type.

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ANTHONY What’s in it for you? DARREN Money. (shrugs) ANTHONY Listen, how about if I make it more profitable to keep the cops out of this? Whadda ya say? DARREN Nah. Cops give money and they don’t shoot me after. ANTHONY Who says I’ll shoot you? MARK (suddenly confident) We do! We may look stupid but we’re not. I mean, we’re not stupid. We deal with the cops then we’re safe. ANTHONY Look guys, I’m small potatoes. But I can deliver something much bigger and worth more money. Darren and Mark start to walk off. Anthony goes after them. ANTHONY (cont’d.) I’m serious guys, I can get you someone who’s really worth it. DARREN Right. Like you’re not just trying to save your ass. ANTHONY Course I am. Wouldn’t you? (beat) (yelling now) Wouldn’t you? Darren stops and turns around. Mark keeps walking. DARREN

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Sure I would. But this is your problem, not mine. ANTHONY It is if I tell the cops I had better info. and you turned it down. Now Mark stops as well. He yells back at Darren. MARK Let’s go. We did what we had to. DARREN Just a minute! (beat) What’re you talkin’ about? ANTHONY Russian mafia. Marks walks back to join them. MARK Let’s go. We don’t need this scum bag. ANTHONY Yeah, you do. Cause I can get you the real bucks. MARK Sure…sure…C’mon Darren, let’s go. DARREN Just a second. You know Russian mafia? How? Where did you meet them? ANTHONY I never said I met them. I said I know about them. DARREN You’re more pathetic than we are. ANTHONY That’s not possible. DARREN I think it is. How are you gonna help us get a Russian mafia guy when you don’t even know one?

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ANTHONY I know where they hang out. That’s why. MARK Yeah, right. Darren, come on! (he tugs at Darren’s sleeve) This guy’s just yankin’ our chain. He doesn’t know any Russian mafia. Darren pulls away. He is obviously thinking things over. DARREN We don’t know that for sure. ANTHONY (sensing the opportunity) Good thinking. (beat) Hey, you guys hungry? (beat) I’m starved. How about goin’ and gettin’ a pizza – on me, of course. There’s a great little place just round the corner. DARREN Giovanni’s Pizza – yeah, I know that place. Sure, let’s go. Darren and Anthony head off. Mark is not pleased. He waits for a few seconds and sees they are not stopping. He runs to catch up. FADE OUT. FADE IN. INT. PIZZA JOINT – CONTINUOUS Darren, Mark and Anthony are eating pizza, drinking beers and having a robust discussion. It’s obvious that Mark is slow to catch on but bit by bit he is getting on board. Anthony orders more beers to make sure that Darren and Mark ‘loosen up’, which they do. Eventually, the three of them are talking and laughing together as if they’re old friends. Once they finish eating and drinking, they walk out together. ANTHONY So, aren’t you boys glad you listened to me? DARREN

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Yeah, this is gonna work out just fine. MARK Yep, just fine. ANTHONY Well, let’s get to it. DARREN Right now? (burps) I’m not sure I’m up to this. ANTHONY You don’t have to do nothin’. I’ll drive us down there in my truck, just to let you know I’m not cheating your ass. Know what I mean? DARREN (looks at Mark) Whadda ya think? MARK Couldn’t hurt. I never seen any Russia mafia before. (beat) They don’t know you, right? ANTHONY Right. (grins) They head off back to their building. In the back is a beaten down truck, but it manages to work and they drive off into the night. FADE OUT. FADE IN. EXT. Bar – CONTINUOUS The three guys stand outside a rather ‘cheesy’ looking bar. There are a few customers inside. There’s a tv on, and some music is playing as well. ANTHONY This is it.

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MARK This don’t look like much. I mean if they’re mafia, don’t they have the money to go someplace nice? ANTHONY Quiet! Don’t say that word out loud. Just stay cool. And follow my lead. (beat) But don’t say that word again – ever! MARK Fine – chill out. DARREN Mark, shut up! MARK You shut up! ANTHONY Are you guys on board or what? They both nod. It’s clear they’re a little drunk. ANTHONY (cont’d.) Ok then, shut up and follow my lead. The three head inside and order another round of beers. Mark is especially anxious. He keeps looking around at everyone in the bar, even though Anthony and Darren try to stop him from being so obvious. A few moments after they sit down, A VERY TALL, DARKHAIRED, WELL BUILT MAN, walks in WITH TWO MUSCULAR BODY GUARDS. THIS IS ALEXEI AND HE IS RUSSIAN MAFIA. They look around and Alexei sees Anthony. As he does, an angry expression crosses his face. He strides over to Anthony’s table. ALEXEI Well, well, if it isn’t my stupid friend. Where have you been, Tony? (beat) And, who are they? (points to Darren and Mark)

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ANTHONY (very nervous) No place special, Alexei. (beat) These guys? No one. We just met and we’re having a drink. That’s all.

Darren and Mark nod but say nothing. They are very nervous. They look around for someone to help but it’s obvious that no one is going to interfere. A few people actually leave as quietly as possible. DARREN (quivering) I thought you said… ANTHONY (interrupting) Shut up, right now! Alexei looks over at one of his guards. He responds immediately by pulling over A CHAIR and Alexei sits down opposite Anthony. As soon as he sits down, THE BARTENDER responds by bringing a BOTTLE OF VODKA. Anthony pours himself and his two guards a drink. Then he pours himself another. ALEXEI I’m not happy, Tony. Do you know why? ANTHONY I…uh…no, I’m not sure. What did I do? ALEXEI You didn’t make your quota this month. I need profits. You know that. ANTHONY (pulls out a wad of money) I’ve got most of it. And somethin’ even better. Alexei grabs the cash. He hands it over to one of the guards who checks it. After he does, he whispers something to Alexei. Alexei nods and gives him a small smile. Darren and Mark try not to look at one another. They are absolutely terrified but trying desperately to stay calm.

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ALEXEI Ok, you got most of it. But I need more. And, you’re out of time. So, either I have to kill you or kill those stupid kids you work with. Cause maybe they’re taking my money. And I told you what happens when people take my money. Didn’t I, Tony? (he slaps Tony’s face).

ANTHONY (stammering and talking quickly) Yes, you did, Alexei. And I deserved that. But don’t touch those kids. It’s not them. It’s me. Really, it’s me. They’re just kids. They’d never take your money. I promise. ALEXEI (laughs loudly) Oh, you’re so loyal. (angry) But you’re supposed to be loyal to me, not them. (slaps Anthony’s face again very hard) I don’t give a shit about those kids. As long as I get my money. I can’t live on loyalty. I can’t buy Vodka on loyalty. I can’t do shit on loyalty. Am I clear? ANTHONY Yes, absolutely. I’ll work harder to make up the shortfall. Like I said, I’ve got something good for you. Alexei pours himself and his bodyguards another set of drinks. ALEXEI What’s better than money? I can get fucked anytime I want, so what else is there? (he and his bodyguards laugh) ANTHONY These two. Now Darren and Mark are petrified. They realize that Anthony means to use them in some horrible way.

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ALEXEI These two losers? (points to them) What would I want with them? ANTHONY They’re cops. They’re tryin’ to take your operation down. They might look like nobodies but they’re undercover. I made them out earlier this evening. That’s gotta be worth something. Alexei is uncertain about this turn of events. He and his bodyguards whisper together for a few moments. ALEXEI You sayin’ these guys are narcs? ANTHONY I don’t know if they’re narcs or not, but they’re undercover for sure. And, they’re cops. They told me so. Alexei stares long and hard at Darren and Mark. He is not convinced. He looks at his bodyguards. They shake their heads very slightly. ALEXEI You tryin’ to tell me these two guys are narcs? Undercover cops? What’re you trying to pull, asshole? ANTHONY Nothin’. I swear. They’re cops. They just make themselves out to look this way. ALEXEI No way. They’re too stupid. Look at them. Darren and Mark smile at this turn of events. ALEXEI Who are you guys? (he pulls out a gun) And no bullshit. DARREN No…body…we’re just hanging out here and this guy joins us for some beers. We’re on welfare, man. MARK

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Welfare…yup…welfare. Alexei stares at Anthony. He’s furious. He waves his gun at Anthony. ALEXEI Get up! ANTHONY Wh….wh….what…why…what’d I do? I…didn’t do… ALEXEI (interrupts) Shut up! You fuckin’ snake. You’re short on money and now you’re tryin’ to tell me these two idiot assholes are undercover. (beat) I think you ratted me out. I think you’re tellin’ people about me. An’ I don’t like that. I told you – you have to keep your mouth shut! Now get up! The burly bodyguards grab Anthony and drag him outside. Anthony is sputtering and proclaiming his innocence the whole time. Alexei looks at Darren and Mark. ALEXEI Welfare, huh? DARREN Yup. Wel…fare…In fact, that Tony guy said he’d pay for our beers. Cause we…uh… (looks to Mark for help) MARK (shouts uncontrollably) Yeah, he said he’d pay! ALEXEI Okay. Keep it down. (shakes his head) One of the bodyguards comes back in. He and Alexei whisper together again. The bodyguard points to Darren and Mark as if to suggest “what do we do about them?” Alexei thinks for a moment. He laughs. ALEXEI These guys? They’re nobody.

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The bodyguard looks unconvinced. Alexei stares hard at the bodyguard and he backs off immediately. He pulls out a wad of money from his pocket. ALEXEI (cont’d.) Tell you what you nice welfare boys. Beer’s on me. Alexei and the bodyguard smile. They walk out laughing. Darren and Mark heave a huge sigh of relief. Then Mark looks at Darren, with a funny expression on his face. DARREN What’s the matter? We’re in the clear. MARK I just…I uh… He jumps out of his chair and runs to the bathroom. INT. BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS We hear Mark throwing up and see Darren coming in to check on him. DARREN You okay, man? (beat) Mark, talk to me. Mark comes out. He is very pale and shaking. Darren grabs hold of him. DARREN (concerned) You okay. (beat) Say somethin’. MARK (shaking) Holy… shit! (beat) I’m not feeling… He runs back into the stall and we hear him throwing up again. Darren just stands there looking relieved.

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INT. POLICE CHIEF’S OFFICE – LATER THAT NIGHT Darren, Mark and Sargeant Frazee are all sitting opposite the CHIEF OF POLICE. He is a TALL, MUSCULAR MAN, IN HIS 50’S. VERY HARD EDGED.

CHIEF (furious) You stupid idiots. What the hell did you think you’re doing? Trying to finger the Russian mafia? Have you any idea how dangerous they are? FRAZEE Sir, if I may? CHIEF Sure, go ahead. I can’t wait. FRAZEE You see, sir. These two civilians suggested they had information on a drug dealer. Now, apparently they did. But they let it go to their heads and tried to snitch on someone bigger. I should never have worked with them. CHIEF Really? Hmmm. I can’t imagine why. (beat) Do you realize how much danger you’re all in? Do you have any idea what these guys do to someone who rats them out? DARREN I have some idea, sir. CHIEF Shut up! DARREN Yes, sir. The police chief paces around his office. It’s clear he’s not sure what to do. CHIEF Frazee, I oughta throw you off the force. You’ve been a pain in the ass ever since I got here and this is…

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(beat) No, I think I have a better plan. FRAZEE Sir? CHIEF As for you two. (points at Darren and Mark) I have a special plan that will keep you safe. DARREN Thank you, sir! MARK Yes, thank you! Frazee, Darren and Mark exit the chief’s office. The chief has a broad smile on his face. FADE OUT. FADE IN. EXT. NEXT MORNING – STREETS OF LA We see Sargeant Frazee walking the street in the early morning hours. He has a huge frown on his face. He’s been reduced to checking parking meters. FADE OUT. FADE IN. INT. AIRPORT – CONTINOUS Darren and Mark are sitting in an airport waiting area. They have big parkas and snow boots on. They look really defeated. We hear a voice over the loudspeaker system. VOICE Welcome to Air Canada Flight 1019 to Sudbury, Ontario via Toronto. All passengers can now board. Darren and Mark get up. They walk slowly and are obviously dejected.

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MARK I hear the Canadian Witness Protection Program is very good. I mean it’ll be cold, but… DAREN Shut up! FADE OUT. THE END.

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