The Oredigger Issue 07 - October 17, 2007

Volume 88, Issue 7

The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and Engineering

October 17, 2007

Green Campus Movement

Environmental Concerns Around College Campuses Tim Weilert Staff Writer ZA

CH

AM

AN

/O

RE

DI

GG

ER

Student Loans The Spiral Explosion in High-Priced Student Loans Sow Seeds of Trouble for U.S. Economic Growth Marcy Gordon Associated Press The near doubling in the cost of a college degree the past decade has produced an explosion in highpriced student loans that could haunt the U.S. economy for years. While scholarship, grant money and government-backed student loans – whose interest rates are capped – have taken up some of the slack, many families and individual students have turned to private loans, which carry fees and interest rates that are often variable and up to 20 percent. Many in the next generation of workers will be so debt-burdened they will have to delay home purchases, limit vacations, even eat out less to pay loans off on time. Kristin Cole, 30, who graduated from Michigan State University’s law school and lives in Grand Rapids, Mich., owes $150,000 in private and government-backed student loans. Her monthly payment of $660, which consumes a quarter of her takehome pay, is scheduled to jump to $800 in a year or so, confronting her with stark financial choices. “I could never buy a house. I can’t travel; I can’t do anything,” she said. “I feel like a prisoner.” A legal aid worker, Cole said she may need to get a job at a law firm, “doing something that I’m not real dedicated to, just for the sake of being able to live.” Parents are still the primary source of funds for many students, but the dynamics were

News - 2

radically altered in recent years as tuition costs soared and sources of readily available and more costly private financing made higher education seemingly available to anyone willing to sign a loan application. Students with no credit history and no relatives to co-sign loans (or co-signing parents with tarnished credit) were willing to bet that high-priced loans were a trade-off for a shot at the American dream. But high-paying jobs are proving elusive for many graduates. “This is literally a new form of indenture ... something that every American parent should b e s c a re d o f,” said Barmak Nassirian, associate executive director of the American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Officers. More than $17 billion in private student loans were issued last year, up from $4 billion a year in 2001. Outstanding student borrowing jumped from $38 billion in 1995 to $85 billion last year, according to experts and lawmakers. Rocketing tuition fees made borrowing that much more appealing. Consumer prices on average rose less than 29 percent over the past 10 years while tuition, fees, and room and board at four-year public colleges and universities soared 79 percent to $12,796 a year and 65 percent to $30,367 a year at private institutions, according to the College Board. See “Loans” pg 2

Features - 3

Environmental issues have become a major concern in the United States, especially amongst its institutions of higher education. Practically speaking, the future leaders and thinkers of the world as a whole are being trained in said universities and colleges. In June 2007, over 200 university presidents pledged to make their campuses “carbon neutral.” Some universities have taken large steps in what has officially become known as the “Green Campus Initiative.” Local universities Colorado College, in Colorado Springs, and the University of Colorado Boulder have recently expanded their environmental programs, following the national trends. CSM, from an official standpoint, has taken environmental issues seriously. Several groups on campus have been researching the school’s involvement in the “green” movement. During the Fall 2007 semester, students from the McBride Honors

Program, as a part of a Cultural Anthropology course, have been analyzing whether CSM is becoming part of the “Green Campus” trend, or if more improvements are needed to merit such a classification*. Jojo La, a McBride student, found that many students are not aware of recycling and environmental programs. Her personal research and opinions suggest that students would be more likely to conserve through recycling, alternative transportation, and other actions, if more was done on a campus-wide level to promote such programs. The campus recycling program, operated by Environmental Health & Safety, began 16 years ago and reported that over 40 tons of various materials were recycled on campus last year. Recycling functions in two ways: to divert recyclable materials from landfills and to capture waste that contains hazardous materials. For those living in the residence halls, boxes for paper recycling are available. #1 and #2 plastics, glass, cardboard, and newspapers and other materials may be recycled in the container located on the north side of Bradford Hall. The Student Center, Weaver Towers, Student Recreation Center and Mines Park have similar recycling opportunities. Gayle Elliott, EHS staff mem-

ber and manager of the recycling program, offers these practical tips for conserving: -Think before throwing items in the trash and before throwing them in recycling bins. A lot of man hours – which means taxpayer and tuition money – can be wasted in separating items placed in the wrong bins. -Think before you buy. Check product packaging and make sure the packaging can be recycled before you make a purchase. According to Elliott, other practical applications of “going green” may include: -Walking/Biking. Not only will you burn calories, but you’ll cut down on gasoline consumption and emissions. -Familiarize yourself with the various programs already available. Mines may enter the “Green Campus” movement if students become personally involved in recycling and conservation programs. Additionally, CSM administration may need to focus on minimizing trash volume by purchasing biodegradable products and lowering consumption. Mines has set goals and written mission statements regarding the environment. *Participants in the McBride study will present the results of their studies through a poster session on December 5, from 6 to 9 p.m. in Ballroom A in the student center.

Nobel Prizes Announced Peace Award to Former Vice President Al Gore Melinda Bartel Staff Writer The winners of the six Nobel Prizes were announced last week. The prizes are annually awarded in the areas of Medicine, Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Peace, and Economics. The 2007 Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded to Marrio Capecchi, Sir Martin Evans, and Oliver Smithies, “for their discoveries of principles for introducing specific gene modifications in mice by the use of embryonic stem cells.” Essentially, they discovered a way to manipulate mouse genes that could lead to major medical advancements in treating genetic disorders. Each doctor is receiving 1/3 of the prize, according to the Nobel Prize website. The Physics Prize was awarded to Albert Fert of France and Peter Grunberg of Germany “for the discovery of Giant Magnetoresistance.” In layman’s terms, they discovered a way in which computers can store data on “ever-shrinking” hard disks.

Editorials - 6

The winner of the Chemistry change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needPrize was Gerhard Ertl of Gered to counteract such change,” many, “for his studies of chemical processes on solid surfaces.” His stated the Nobel Prize website. research has opened up the hidAnd finally, the Economics Prize was awarded to Leonid Hurwicz, den world of surface chemistry Eric Maskin, and Roger Myerson, for investigation. His contribution all from the United States. Towill help answer the question of why the ozone layer is thinning. gether, they “laid the foundations of The Nobel Prize in Literature was mechanism design theory,” according to the Nobel given to Doris Lesswebsite. ing, a novelist from “...Al Gore awarded ‘for... Prize The Nobel the United Kingdom. The Swed- efforts to build up and dis- P r i z e s w e r e ish Academy said first awarded she was, “the epi- seminate greater knowl- in 1901. The economics cist of the female experience, who edge about man-made prize was created in 1969. with skepticism, climate change...’” The prizes are fire and visionary power has subjectnamed after the ed a divided civfamous Swedish chemist, Alfred Nobel, the i l i z a t i o n t o s c r u t i n y. ” man who invented dynamite. He The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded this year to Al Gore and the dictated in his will that he wanted Intergovernmental Panel on Climate world recognitions in several arChange (IPCC). They were given eas. The award ceremony will occur in Stockholm, Sweden and this honor “for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowlOslo, Norway on December 10, edge about man-made climate the anniversary of Nobel’s death.

Sports - 7

Fool’s Gold - 8

Page 2

News

October 17, 2007

UNITED STATES- Marion Jones admitted to using steroids before competing in the 2000 Olympic Games. Because of her confession, Jones will be stripped of all of the records and awards won after September 2000. Jones was also banned from the sport of Track and Field for a minimum of two years. She announced her retirement the same day.

CUBA- For the first time since handing over his control of Cuba, Fidel Castro made a live television appearance wherein he held a discussion with Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. After Fidel Castro suffered serious illness and required an operation, Raul Castro took power of the country in place of his ailing brother.

GERMANY- Germany’s lower parliament voted early last week to deploy 3,000 more troops to Iraq. Citizens in the country have expressed scorn for this decision, and polls have previously shown that the German public does not support involvement in the Iraqi war.

VATICAN CITY- Pope Benedict XVI spoke out against the capture of two Catholic priests in Iraq last week during his weekly blessing of the pilgrims to St. Peter’s Square in Rome. Reports have said that the armed men ambushed the two priests and declared a ransom on their lives.

Emily Trudell, Staff Writer

JAPAN- After an earthquake rocked northern Japan at the beginning of last week, a nuclear plant reported that a small amount of radioactive material had been leaked. Officials denied that the leakage was a health concern to locals. The spill of materials has raised concerns about the safety of Japanese nuclear plants and potential for catastrophic results should the nation suffer a devastating quake.

Exorbitant Student Loans Worry Experts Continued from pg 1 Scholarship and grant money have increased, yet for almost 15 years, the maximum available per person in government-guaranteed student loans, which by law can’t charge rates above 6.8 percent, has remained at $23,000 total for four years. That’s less than half the average four-year tuition, room and

board of $51,000 at public colleges and $121,000 at private institutions. Sallie Mae, formally known as SLM Corp., has been on the winning side of the loan bonanza. Its portfolio of 10 million customers includes $25 billion in private and $128 billion in government-backed education loans. However, private-equity investors who had offered $25 billion to buy the company backed out last

Road trippin' to

Jackson Hole: 1OTTSW\S`]c\RbVSQZ]QY^WhhObe]R]hS\ QRa=\Zg#!%[WZSab]U]#Q]ZZSUSYWRa T`][OZZ]dS`QO`dW\Ubc`\aQObQVW\UOW`O\R QVWZZW\UT]`OeSSY

Snowriders Fest X Jackson Hole

!#T]`#\WUVbaObA\]e9W\U@Sa]`b V]bSZ"T]`OA\]e9W\UQ]\R]"ROga ZWTbbWQYSba´W\QZcRSaA\]e`WRS`a^O`bWSa OQbWdWbg^OQYOUSO\RbOfSa 0SbVS`ST]`A\]e`WRS`a4SabF 8O\cO`g % & ASSg]c]\bVS`]OR

[]UcZaQ][a\]e`WRS`a&

week, citing credit market weakness and a new law cutting billions of dollars in subsidies to student lenders. Citigroup Inc., Bank of America Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co., Wells Fargo & Co., Wachovia Corp. and Regions Financial Corp. are also big players in the private student loan business. And there has been an explosion in specialized student loan lenders, such as EduCap, Nelnet Inc., NextStudent Inc., Student Loan Corp., College Loan Corp., CIT Group Inc. and Education Finance Partners Inc. The question is whether everyone who borrowed will be able to repay. Experts don’t track default rates on private student loans, but many predict sharp increases in years to come. Dr. Paul-Henry Zottola, a 35-yearold periodontist in Rocky Hill, Conn., faces paying $1,600 a month on his student loan on top of a $2,300 mortgage payment and $1,500 on the loan he took out to start his practice. His credit record remains solid but he owes more than $300,000 in student loans as he and his wife, Heather, an elementary school administrator, raise two young children. “It would be very easy to feel crushed by it,” Zottola said in an interview. “All my income for the next 10 years is spoken for.” Meanwhile, complaints about marketing of private loans ‚Äî like ads promising to approve loans worth $50,000 in just minutes ‚Äî are on the rise. The complaints have made their way to lawmakers, who see a need to regulate the highly profitable and diverse group of companies and the loans they make to college students. In August, the Senate Banking

Committee approved a bill that would mandate clearer disclosure of rates and terms on private student loans. The bill also would require a 30-day comparison shopping period after loan approval, during which time the offer terms could not be altered. New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said many graduates who borrowed owe as much if not more than most homeowners owe on mortgages. Unlike mortgages with clear consumer disclosure requirements ‚Äî even from nonbank lenders, private lending is “the Wild West of the student loan industry,” he said in a telephone interview. Critics say what happened in the mortgage market could happen in the student loan market. Cuomo, who conducted a nationwide investigation, said the parallels between the two markets are “provocative.” Demand for bundled student loans sold to institutional investors worldwide fueled lending to students. The market for private student loan-backed securities leapt 76 percent last year, to $16.6 billion, from $9.4 billion in 2005, according to Moody’s Investors Service. The student loan-backed securities market has yet to suffer noticeable effects of a global credit squeeze that was triggered this summer by a mortgage meltdown of borrowers with risky credit. “Once the economy starts to slow, you’re going to see a large increase of these people in bankruptcy court,” said Robert Manning, a professor at Rochester Institute of Technology who has written about college students and credit cards. A 2005 change to bankruptcy

law puts private student loans on par with child support and alimony payments: Lenders can garnish wages if someone doesn’t pay. Cuomo’s probe revealed what he calls an “appalling pattern of favoritism” for student lenders that provided kickbacks, revenue-sharing plans and trips to college administrators in exchange for recommended lender status. Other critics allege widespread corrupt arrangements propelled a student loan boom. Lenders deny such charges, arguing that industry growth resulted from surging education costs and that higher interest rates are justified for unsecured loans to borrowers with blemished or insufficient credit records. “Lenders take 100 percent of the repayment risk on flexible privateeducation loans made to people with limited credit histories, on which they will not get repaid for several years,” Barry Goulding, a Sallie Mae official, told Congress last spring. New regulations could dry up access to education financing, he and other industry executives argue. Some experts are skeptical, predicting waves of student loan delinquencies and defaults on what is outstanding. “Should private student loans suffer the same sort of failure as (subprime) mortgages, as students graduate or drop out and find themselves unable to pay, we will do serious damage not only to the lives of many students but also to the economic and social fabric of our country that depends on college graduates for its strength,” said Luke Swarthout at the U.S. Public Interest Research Group.

Features

October 17, 2007

Page 3

Technology Widens Rich-Poor Gap Philip Emeagwali Guest Columnist

nations. For instance, Nigeria pays a 40-percent “royalty” tax on its petroleum revenues to foreign oil Oil has made us billions and companies that are ripping out its fuelled our economic stability, but family jewels — the huge store of oil has also become the bane of wealth in its oilfields. These oilfields our existence. For some, it is a started forming when prehistoric, curse that has caused poverty dog-sized humans — our common and corruption, but for others it ancestor with the apes — walked is an essential source of untold African grasslands on four legs. wealth and power. But as the gap It’s a shocking reality, but the between rich and poor countries deep oil reserves laid down by continues to expand, it is clear Mother Nature millions of years that intellectual capital and techago and nurtured through the nology rule the world, and that millennia in natural resources such as oil, gold, Africa have and diamonds are no longer the been whittled primary determinants of wealth. away within Surprisingly, nations with few decades. And, natural resources demonstrate for the dubigreater economic growth rates ous privilege than OPEC countries. Japan’s of surrendereconomic growth, driven by teching its natural nological superiority, outpaces resources forthat of Saudi Arabia; South Korea ever, Nigeria is is growing faster than oil-rich Nirequired to pay geria; and Taiwan’s economy has half its petromoved well beyond that of oil-rich leum revenue Venezuela. The United States and in the form of Norway are also rich in oil, yet their “royalties” to staggering economic the rich kids growth comes from on the global Excerpted from a keynote speech delivered by Philip intellectual capital. Emeagwali in Tucson, Arizona on September 29, 2007. block, the UnitIn reality, it is not The entire transcript is posted at emeagwali.com. ed States and money but intellect h e N e t h e rNigerian-born Philip Emeagwali won the 1989 Gordon Bell tual capital that drives lands. That oilprosperity. More im- Prize, the Nobel Prize of supercomputing. He has been ex- field has been portant, perhaps, is tolled as “one of the great minds of the Information Age” and e x c h a n g e d the reality that pov- as “the Bill Gates of Africa” by former US president Bill Clinton. f o r a b o w l erty is driven and susof porridge, tained by a lack of and the black intellectual capital. The intimate an all-time high. The accumulagold that should serve the unrelationship between intellectual tion of intellectual capital by rich derserved in Nigeria is helping capital and economic growth is nations has helped broaden this wealthy Westerners get wealthier. as old as humanity itself, and is gap because it has enabled them Today, half the world’s populawell illustrated by this parable to control technology and collect tion — three billion people — live from ancient Babylon (modern-day hidden taxes from less affluent on an average of $500 a year. In COURTESY PHILIP EMEAGWALI

Iraq). A man asked his children: “If you had a choice between the clay of wisdom or a bag of gold, which would you choose?” “The bag of gold, the bag of gold” the naïve children cried, not realizing that wisdom had the potential to earn them many more bags of gold in the future. Seven thousand years later, Iraq — the cradle of civilization — has its own private bag of gold as it sits perched atop the world’s third largest oil reserves. Meanwhile, Israel, tucked away in the hostile terrain of a barren desert, has the clay of wisdom — the weightless wealth of intellectual capital embodied in the collective mind of its people. The striking economic gap that persists between rich and poor nations has increased sevenfold over the past century to what is now

Student Loans Weigh on Mines Melinda Bartel Staff Writer Approximately 2,100 of the undergraduate and graduate students at Mines have student loans. The amounts of these loans vary significantly for each individual, but the average student accumulates an estimated total debt of $17,500 before graduation. Any student wishing to take out a federal loan must first fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). After that, there are several different types of loans available for students at Mines. The most popular student loan is the Federal Stafford Loan. There are two types, subsidized and unsubsidized. The subsidized loan is awarded entirely based on need, and there is no interest while the students are in school because the federal government pays it. On the other hand, an unsubsidized loan is not need-based, and the student is responsible for the interest. During school (and the grace period), the interest rate for the Federal Stafford loan is 6.54%. During repayment, however, the rate increases to 7.22%. (These Interest Rates were effective on July 1 of this year and

will remain until June 30, 2008). Another popular loan is the Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students (PLUS). It is a non-need loan, but it is credit-based, which means that the parent must pass a credit check before the loan is granted. The Federal PLUS loan interest rate is currently 8.02%. Finally, select students qualify for the Perkins Loan, which is a need-based award. These funds are limited, and given on a first come, first serve basis. In addition to federal loans, students also have the option of taking out a private loan. This does not require filling out the FAFSA. Private loans (also called optional loans) are credit-based and often require a co-signer. This is less popular among students because the interest rates are usually significantly higher. However, the benefit is that they have higher annual loan limits. A private loan can be a good choice for a student who needs to borrow larger amounts of money for the school year. CSM recommends lending from ASAP/Union Bank and Trust Company, CitiBank, and College Invest. For more information on taking out a loan at Mines, visit: http://www.finaid. mines.edu/CO_loan_advisor.html.

global empire without a physical contrast, Bill Gates earns $500 presence in any of its “colonies.” every second. By controlling techThe sole remaining superpower nology and taxing computer users, is at the forefront of every major Gates has become wealthier than technological advancement, which each of the 70 poorest nations on it has used to become deeply earth and using his financial might has conquered more territory than embedded in three-quarters of the globe. The US has accomplished a Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar and virtual economic colonization manAlexander the Great combined. ifesting its presence throughout While Bill Gates is the new the globe by harnessing the power millennium’s Prince of Technolof technology ogy, he is by no and capitalizmeans the first “The United States has em- ing on its clay to have taken on the huge po- braced its technological su- o f w i s d o m . Africa’s intential offered by the realm of premacy, both offensively ability to realize its potential technology. The Romans used and defensively, to build its and embrace technology roads and military technology own global empire without has left it at the mercy of to expand their empi re. And, a physical presence in any the West. The time has come for centuries, of its ‘colonies.’” for Africa to Britain ruled a seize the day quarter of the and resist the efforts of America Earth due to its unparalleled ability and others to leave their imprint to command maritime technology and plunder its natural resources. and conquer the Seven Seas. Numerous examples throughBritain undoubtedly established out history support the idea that itself as the world’s first superpowtechnology can be used as a tool er through its rapid and ruthless of oppression. And there’s little colonial expansion program. The doubt that America’s technological British raised the Union Jack over advancement has allowed it to exCanada and Australia, India and ploit natural resources around the Hong Kong, Egypt and Kenya, and world. This is particularly evident in countless other countries — even the United States. The Union Jack Africa, where the US is exploiting cast its shadow in every global oilfields beneath the pristine rainforest — and being rewarded with time zone, giving rise to the saying, a 40-percent tax at the expense “The sun never sets on the Britof the African people. This lends ish Empire,” a fact that was cold credence to history’s assertion comfort to the colonized nations. that those who control technology In the same way, the United oppress those who do not, evenStates has embraced its technotually enslaving them and, finally, logical supremacy, both offensively wielding power around the globe. and defensively, to build its own

Gb`amHpel P^e\hf^' E:M>GB@AMANG@>K8
LAKEWOOD 145 Union Boulevard 2nd and Union 303.988.5990

WHEATRIDGE 3250 Youngfield Behind Applejack’s Liquor 303.237.7414

Features

Page 4

October 17, 2007

Geek...Ryan Goodwin, Week Junior: Electrical of the

Satira Tajdin-Labib Staff Writer

[Oredigger] What makes you a geek? [Goodwin] Well, I want to be an electrical engineer and I’m president of the Linux Users Group. I also have four to five computers running in my house right now. When did you first realize you were a geek? Ninth grade. I went to this high school where you got “free time” to develop time management skills. Every single day I would spend it in the computer lab. Enlighten us with a geeky joke. There was this Mines guy riding his bike down the road when another Mines student stopped him. He asked the guy on the bike, “That bike is really nice, where did you get it?” The guy on the bike said, “Well, actually I was just walking down the street and this woman rode by on her bike. She then stopped, threw down the bike, stripped off her clothes, and shouted, “Take

whatever you want! Just leave me alone!”” He continued, “So I took the bike.” The other Mines student looked puzzled then said, “Well, that probably was a good choice, her clothes wouldn’t have fit you.” XBOX or Playstation? Definitely XBOX, all the PS2 games are boring. They all look pretty on the outside, but they are all boring. Plus, XBOX has Halo. Were you offended when you found out you were nominated to be Geek of the Week? No, I thought it was funny. I mean we are in the big dork factory of Colorado School of Mines, we aren’t all actually well-adjusted and normal citizens, we are all geeks. I hope you don’t get beat up for that. No way, they’d have to catch me first. If you could have any super power, what would it be? Actually, everything seems lame and every power has its drawbacks. If you could read people’s minds, you could see how much they hated

you. If you were superfast then you would age superfast too. If you could fly you’d have to dodge airplanes and worry about going too high and suffocating. I can’t think of power that isn’t negative. Well, there’s shapeshifting, but wait, you might get stuck in some other form and that would really suck. How about shooting fire? MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER No, everyone would hate you An Apple a Day: Ryan Goodwin attended the Student for burning everything up and you’d Development Program during the World Wide Develconstantly get sued for committing opment Conference, which was hosted by Apple, Inc. arson. And being invisible? Yeah! That could be good. cisco. The whole day there you listen Steve Jobs, the guy that started What do you do outside of to nothing but people talking about Apple. He was just sitting in colschool? lege and like, “I’m going to start programming. Then afterwards you I fix people’s computers and I ride follow the same people to bars and making computers.” And now he skateboards. And then there are girls, talk more about programming. makes more money than anyone but that doesn’t happen, so… What is your favorite subject cares to. What is the geekiest thing at Mines? What do you plan on doyou’ve done? ing after you graduate from Electrical stuff, like circuits beI was selected by Apple for the cause everything else is just so borMines? Student Development Program, I have no clue. I figure I’ll go ing. Chemistry is boring. Humanity is which a few hundred kids in America boring. Even the general engineering through a lot of jobs and find out are selected for every year. They paid courses, like Thermo and Statics, are which ones of them I hate, and then for me to go to the World Wide Deextremely boring. mark them off the list. Then go off velopment Conference in San Franto do something else. Who is your role model?

Radiohead

Across the Universe Review Greg Smith Staff Writer

Tim Weilert Staff Writer This week Radiohead made music history with their newest album In Rainbows. In an age of declining record sales, album leaks and music piracy, Radiohead decided to transcend the entire industry by self releasing what may be the most anticipated album of the year. Just ten days after finishing the production process In Rainbows was released as a digital download. The shocking aspect of the entire situation is that Radiohead allowed consumers to name their own price for the album download. An electronic mix of drums, Johnny Greenwood’s guitar work and Thom Yorke’s soft vocals open the album on “15 Step.” Paying special attention to the layering of different sounds reminds the listener why Radiohead has become so vastly popular. Not only are most of the songs complex combinations of instrumental and vocal work, but a certain sense of harmony is audible as well. Thom Yorke, acknowledged as a revolutionary lyricist, is not easily understood on the record. The lyrical content is there, however it is presented through Yorke’s high pitched and occasionally indiscernible voice. This gives the record its ambient sound and serves to emphasize those songs which seem stripped down. While In Rainbows has a definite experimental tone, the album itself reflects heavily upon Radiohead’s earlier works. This is evidenced by the songs “Nude” and “Reckoner” which were both written during the late 1990’s and sound similar to tracks from OK Computer. The final song, “Videotape,” finishes the record on a tone that is a stark contrast to “15 Step.” Warm piano parts echoed by percussion leave the listener with a sense of closure. While self releasing an album is a gamble, Radiohead appears to have done most everything right. Their popularity can be linked to the quality of their records, such as In Rainbows, and consumer friendly approach to distribution. In Rainbows is available as a digital downl o a d f r o m h t t p : / / w w w. i n r a i n b o w s . c o m .

COURTESY WIKIPEDIA COMMONS

The “In Rainbows” Revolution

Across the Universe opened recently at the box office and has had mixed reviews since. Famed director Julie Taymore directs this musical of Beatles’ covers. The movie is set in the Vietnam era and centers on Jude, a young man from Liverpool, who goes to America to find his father. Yes, I do realize how lame that sounds. The cast is full of characters from Beatles songs like Jude, Lucy, Sadie, even Prudence. Bono makes an appearance for a few songs as well. Generally speaking I am not a huge fan of covers, but

in this case I will make an exception. The movie is filled with Beatles classics such as Come Together, All My Loving, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Hey Jude, and of course Strawberry Fields Forever. It also has some more obscure Beatles titles like I Just Saw a Face, and I Am The Walrus. The best cover in the movie is easily Let It Be. It literally brought tears to my eyes. Young Timothy T. Mitchum begins the song a cappella while sitting next to a burned out car at the Detroit riots. The scene changes and the soulful Carol Woods sings the rest of the song at a boy’s funeral. The gospel choir backing up Mrs. Woods was incredible. I get chills just thinking about it.

The movie, however, is not all good. It starts off rather slow and if you forget that it is a musical at times, the breaking-out into song can seem odd and out of place. The girl playing Lucy has a great voice but seems to be the sore thumb of the cast. It just doesn’t fit in. This is a movie for people who love the Beatles, musicals, or both. I have seen it twice and the second time I found myself waiting for the end, an unusual occurrence when I watch a movie, even after multiple viewings. However, the movie did make me think of the current situation and tension in the Middle East compared to the way Vietnam was depicted in the movie. And for that, I applaud it. My rating: C+.

Lifestyle

October 17, 2007

Page 5

M

AM

H VE EA

/O

Act Royal: The Homecoming Queen and Beast were announced and crowned at the halftime show during the football game. This year’s winners? Kurtis Griess and Erin Neil.

76 Trombones: The CSM band marched in the Homecoming Parade. The band also played during the Homecoming halftime and marched “The Splitting of the Atom.” The CSM band is renowned for its unique uniform: the red plaid shirt, jeans, and hardhat of a true Oredigger.

Marvin the Miner: This familiar face was present at most events to greet enthusiastic Orediggers.

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

Not Your Average Powderpuff: Last Friday’s events included a Powderpuff game.

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

Meet Me on the Quad: Students participated in athletic field events on Friday evening. Events included a four-legged race and tugo-war.

ANDY SUDERMAN / OREDIGGER

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

ANDY SUDERMAN / OREDIGGER

M

R

GE

IG

D RE

Page 6

October 17, 2007

Abuses of Microsoft Letters to the Editor Vista Marks Decline in Software

Steven Bolger Staff Writer I cannot understand how a multi-billion dollar corporation termed an “abusive monopoly” by the U.S. District Court and ordered to separate into two independent units can continue to own 96.97%, according to Softpedia’s website, of the international operating system (OS) market. The Microsoft Corporation is founded on the practice of creating a global dependence on its products while simultaneously imposing greater restrictions on their use. Windows Vista, the successor to the 2001 release of Windows XP, illustrates this procedure developed and followed by Microsoft. As a “licensee” of Windows 98, Windows XP, and Windows Vista, I have witnessed the decline that is Microsoft software development. The largest problem with Windows Vista is that it is designed to restrict what the user can do with it. Vista enforces new forms of “Digital Rights Management” that control which features, programs, and files of your software and your computer that you can use at any time. DRM is of course not an optional component of Vista. You must pay Bill Gates money to ensure that you do not perform any operations on your computer he does not want you to. In addition, the process of monitoring your actions requires computing power and memory that cause your computer to run slower. While not a new feature of the Windows Vista OS, a user does not own the software he purchases. Under the terms of a verbose agreement, Microsoft leases, but does not sell, Vista to the user. I, like almost every Vista “lessee,” have not read the licensing agreement, nor do I know the specifics of my rights to operate the software. Knowing Microsoft, however, I am sure that the licensing agreements of the various versions of Vista are somehow more restrictive than those of Windows XP. Windows, on the other hand, claims that these new measures were developed to increase your computer’s security. In other words, the user gives up his freedom so that Microsoft can protect his computer from spyware, hackers, viruses, and other virtual threats. Another new device to help enforce this policy is the new “Administrator permissions are recommended for running …”

windows. These little irritations pop up every time the user tries to run any program that is not a part of the original Microsoft software package. These windows attempt to warn the user that the following operation could cause security problems. While maybe pure in intention, these pop-ups lose meaning after their hundredth or so appearance in one day. The message even appears when I try to run Microsoft Visual C++ Express, a registered Microsoft product. New security measures such as these popup messages attempt to assure the user of a phony heightened level of security. Obviously popup messages are not going to provide any protection against spyware or viruses. The only measures that could seriously increase security are anti-spyware software, firewalls, phishing filters, and antivirus software. The goal of these new security measures is to force the user to accept responsibility for his own security while providing Microsoft with a scapegoat. Windows Vista also has small functionality problems characteristic of not just a mediocre corporation, but a mediocre operating system. Vista is reported to be incompatible with hardware designed for older operating systems. It performs file operation slowly than other competing operating systems, and requires m o re d e m a n d i n g h a rd w a re specification to take advantage of some of its new features. When the novelty of the new graphical user interface Windows Aero wears off, the user is left with an operating system that restricts access to many of its functions, requires the user to take responsibility for security, has minor functionality problems, and cannot be owned by the user. The root of all of these problems is a project that began on April 4, 1975 by two business partners, Bill Gates and Paul Allen, that has since monopolized the world of software. Let us all take an active role in preventing Microsoft from gaining world domination computer by computer like they almost did in 2001. Fool the world once, shame on Microsoft. Fool the world twice, shame on the world. Free software such as Linux and GNU do not require that you consent to a confining licensing agreement. If you want freedom from the abuses of Microsoft, Linux is the answer. It is extremely nerdy and hard to use, but is one step toward ending the reign of the Microsoft Corporation.

Dear Editor, In regards to Greg Smith’s “Justice at Circuit City” article, I think Mr. Smith should consider factors that he did not mention in his article if he has not already. I would first ask Mr. Smith if he has ever worked in a large electronics retail chain such as the one he mentions, Circuit City. If he has, I would be rather surprised as he should understand that shoplifting rates for high demand consumer software and electronics can spiral out of control if these stores do not implement measures to prevent theft.   Are some of these measures sometimes a little invasive? Perhaps. Yet I find it hard to agree that asking to check a customers bag contents with their receipt is the intense invasion of privacy portrayed by Mr. Smith’s article. It’s unfortunate, but these days, thieves come from all ages, races, and gender; personally, I hardly think that a bag check (which is a rather common procedure) here and there will really detract from my privacy in a way such that I would feel upset. Perhaps Mr. Righi decided to try and make a point or something along those lines.  Yet, in the bigger picture, what Mr. Righi failed to realize is that the retail store has the right to request to see his bag and receipt.  As long as the store employee did not initi-

our freedoms.  I certainly don’t agree with many of the privacy infringing laws that were passed in more recent history, and some of the implications of said laws being passed can be scary. However, assuming that all your fellow students will watch football instead of being concerned about current events is a folly.  I’m a practical person; I may think that confiscating nail clippers from airline passengers is excessive, but if they can stop a person from bringing a bomb on board, it turns the airline security issue into a gray area for me and I find it hard to believe that x-ray machines at airports will suddenly lead to RFID chips planted in our necks and barcodes tattooed onto our arms. What you fail to see about revolution is that enough of the population has to be completely outraged at the government to do something drastic about it.  We definitely have not reached that point yet. I don’t like our current leaders, and I don’t like the direction that our country has taken with n a t i o n a l s e c u r i t y a n d f o re i g n p o l i c i e s .  Though, assuming that everyone out there will simply comply because they are scared into doing so is also a folly. Not every American may be well informed, or may even care about some of the current events, but we can easily see that we’re not quite at the revolutionary conditions of

discriminated against, it does not look like what happened to the Little Rock Nine. Although, I was not aware that appearance was the definition of any of the following: discrimination, prejudice or racism. Discrimination is discrimination and whether it was 50 years ago or it was just yesterday, the definition hasn’t changed to include the appearance of the situation. The damage it causes has not changed either. The Oredigger has printed editorials that have excused prejudice, promoted ignorance of other individuals, and defended itself for doing so. While you have the basic right to say whatever you want and I respect that, I request that you use better judgment in doing so. The following statements exhibit poor judgment. “Society has been cured of racial discrimination against African Americans…If you are African American, and you feel that you have been discriminated against somehow, take a look at the pictures of the Little Rock Nine. Did it look like that?” In my opinion Ricky Walker, the author, is saying that racial discrimination today does not count as discrimination because of its subtle (or lack of) physical appearance. As an outsider looking in, it feels really good to say that racial discrimination does not exist. Although, as a Black student at this school I disagree and so

ate contact with Mr. Righi and his car, the employee was simply doing his job—what you may not know is that if Mr. Righi indeed pushed the employee to get past him, that employee then has the right to return contact.  Also, in creating a scene, Mr. Righi was not “fighting the system” or even “fighting the (proverbial) man.”  He was simply fighting a policy—a policy that most major retailers probably have and is instituted to c o m b a t t h e f t , n o t i n v a d e p r i v a c y. However, in the bigger picture, I don’t disagree with Mr. Smith’s views; I simply do not agree on the extremes to which he believes them. Indeed, I enjoy my right to privacy, perhaps more so than most. Yet, using an analogy about a retail store’s anti-theft procedures to say that we have been passively programmed to think a certain way our entire lives is a stretch.  Any given society you live in will have certain rules to abide by, mores, and customs.  By living in any society you agree to all of those things? You may call it programming or whatever you like, but it will not change the fact that so long as you abide by our countries’ laws, you too are acting like the very same people you are calling sheep.     I believe you have taken our venerable Benjamin Franklin’s words and twisted them.  Indeed, we as citizens should be ever vigilant of a government that seeks to take away

an Orwellian novel nor a similarly themed movie. While I think Mr. Smith has some good points, I think he missed many others and missed the mark while trying to compare a retail store incident with national issues. The very broad scope of everything he mentioned hurts the article as he touches on many controversial issues that are each deserving of an entire article of their own, and not, in my opinion, well represented by a single editorial. Regards, Jeff Park Dear Editor, This letter is in response to the editorial “50 Years Since Little Rock Nine” in Volume 88, Issue 5 of The Oredigger and a few other editorials from The Oredigger where applicable. Let us consider for a second the appearance of the protests for The Little Rock Nine. Do the rotten vegetables being thrown and the verbal taunts really harm? My opinion is that they do not have lasting effects. The prejudice behind those protests was what was really harmful. What about the mindset that Black people do not deserve the same opportunity? What about the opportunity to be respected for their work and accomplishments; the opportunity to reach the same levels of success; the basic opportunity to be treated equally? So no, when I am prejudiced or

did every other Black student who I talked to about the article (as well as many non-Black students). Walker claims that being treated “unjustly” does not mean you were discriminated against but that you were “merely a victim of one of society’s many jerks.” Whether it was a jerk or the most outstanding citizen, if in the process of treating you unjustly they use discrimination, it is still discrimination. Although the statements by Walker are “feel-good” in nature, they are very damaging. The statements are damaging in the sense that they claim that what is considered discrimination today is acceptable just because it is not blatant or is reducible to the “jerks” of society. I can only hope that there are not students at Mines who read Walker’s editorial and thought that their own prejudice towards Blacks (or any group for that matter) is acceptable just because it does not look like prejudice 50 years ago. “50 Years Since Little Rock Nine” is just one article (out of a many this year) that excuses racism, prejudice and discrimination as well as promotes ignorance of other individuals. While the staff of The Oredigger has the “right” to produce such articles and statements, such rights come with responsibility. Please respect that responsibility, especially when the staff of The Oredigger finds itself on the outside looking in. -Anonymous

It has already been almost two months that I have been detained here at Mines and my four year sentence just started. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Warden Eberhart teaches us chemistry. On Mondays the prisoners see the shrink in the CSM 101 class, and every day people are poisoned in the Slate. There are some people who occasionally try to escape and bring back Burger King to the rest of the inmates, but frequently money becomes an issue. To be quite honest with you, I would rather be an actual inmate in a prison, when your reward for good behavior is not an extra three years at graduate school. Where you have a TV in your cell. Where your roommate is somebody who has already been convicted, not someone who’s on the run.

Nevertheless, what really gets to me is that if you stretch your arms out you can touch your roommate and the window at the same time, and he just came in the door. Now don’t get me wrong, I do think my roommate is a future convict. The fact that random Mrs. Degrees (girls who only go to Mines to marry the salary of the person who graduates) come into our room doesn’t help either. My roommate started to think of himself as a ladiesman, although I don’t know if you could consider those girls walking into our room as really girls at all. Now my roommate’s self-esteem has skyrocketed to the point where he starts walking up to the third floor only to realize that it is locked. Wonder why! To be perfectly honest I don’t agree with that. If we can have shady

creatures come down to our dorm room to annoy the hell out of us, then by God we should be able to return the favor. This is getting ridiculous. After my roommates failed attempt at creeping out the rest of the girls in our building, he decided to go sit in a common area to find companionship, which he calls “getting some.” Finally he is successful. He comes back to the dorm room bragging about the fact that he got some form of a girl named Ural, who has an exceptionally deep voice and can bench twice my roommate’s weight, and that’s including his books. Needless to say I’m not impressed. I guess what I’m trying to say is can we please get some locks on our hallways to keep these Mrs. Degrees out so that this whole thing won’t get started in the first place. Thank you.

Sports

October 17, 2007 ANDY SUDERMAN / OREDIGGER

Homecoming Win

M / O EA R VE ED H IG AM G M ER

Mason Williams Staff Writer

Victory: CSM Orediggers win their Oct. 13 Homecoming game against the Western New Mexico State Mustangs.

Rockies Win the Pennant Undefeated in Playoffs, Heading to World Series But the two stories start to diverge from there. In 1951, the playoffs consisted of a maximum of seven games, called the World Series. For the Rockies to make the World Series, they would have to defeat 2 separate teams to earn the right. The Rockies did just that and did it in near unprecedented fashion. The Colorado Rockies swept their first round opponents, the Philadelphia Phillies, in 3 games and then proceeded to take out the Arizona Diamondbacks in a 4 game sweep. Only one other time has a team won seven in a row in the playoffs; in 1976, the Cincinnati Reds, nicknamed the

cruised through their last 2 games. Left Fielder Matt Holliday is on the short list for NL MVP for the On August 11th, 1951, the regular season, but in retrospect, New York Giants trailed their he might not be the strongest rivals the Brooklyn Dodgers by candidate. That is not a knock 13.5 games in the standings. [1] on his play, but rather a compleIn baseball standards, a 13.5 lead ment on how important every is quite formidable and near insursingle player has been to this team. mountable, but a Giants loss that The Rockies seem to win in day became their last in a while. every possible way and each player They proceeded to reel off a 16 has made his contribution whether game winning streak to close out it is C Yorvit Torrealba who hit the August and finished the season game winning home run in Game 3 winning 37 of 44 to force a 3 of the NLCS or SS Troy Tulowitzki game tiebreaker with the Dodgers. who made several defensive plays The teams split the first 2 to keep runners off the bases. games of that tiebreaker to set This also extends to rookie up one of the most pinch hitter Seth Smith dramatic scenes in “The Rockies went from a non-factor to who started a series debaseball history. The ciding rally in Game 4 in third and final game National League World Series represen- the 5th inning with a 2 out started off as a pitchers’ double to give the Rockies tatives in one short month.” duel, but the Dodgthe lead for good. Even ers took command in CF Willy Taveras, who the 8th inning with 3 runs. Big Red Machine and coming off just came back from a quadriceps Two outs later, the Giants of a World Series win in 1975, strain, made a game saving divfaced elimination despite a his- won every single game in the ing catch and walked to bring toric comeback. But then the playoffs to repeat as champions. home the winning run in Game 2. hits came in. Two singles and The Rockies, however, are not The Rockies have shown that a double made the score 4-2 an established team like the Reds, no single player is more important and brought up the formidable which makes this run all the more than any other. They appear to Bobby Thomson. With a 1-1 awe-inspiring. The Rockies went embody concept of playing as count, Thomson made a hit that from a non-factor to National a team. Nevertheless, Holliday’s soared into the left field stands. League World Series representa- contributions in the NLCS (2 HRs, The voice of the Giants, tives in one short month. Manager 4 RBI, .333 BA) earned him the Russ Hodges, broke into a call Clint Hurdle repeatedly has exhonor of NLCS MVP, but the Rockthat echoed throughout the pressed that his team was “playing ies would not be where they are ages, yelling “The Giants win in the losers’ bracket for a long right now without the 8 other playthe pennant! The Giants win time.” This team from the loser’s ers that take the field plus several the pennant!” as one of the bracket currently has won 21 out on the bench and in the bullpen. greatest baseball streaks ever of their last 22 games and has lost Now, the Rockies play the ended with a walk off homerun. a single game in a month’s time. waiting game as they wait for their Now, this moment, widely The Diamondbacks series was opponents in the World Series to regarded as one of the greatclose when the scores are considbe decided. The Boston Red Sox est in the 120+ year history of ered, but the scores are deceivand Cleveland Indians are playing baseball, has company. The ing. The Rockies trailed for 2 total in the American League Champi2007 baseball season has givinnings in the series and domionship Series currently, but it apen way to a most unlikely and nated with their hardnosed pitching pears as if it will take much longer dramatic Cinderella story. The and spectacular defensive plays. to finish. The Indians are currently Rockies were 4.5 games out of The Rockies’ pitching staff went leading the series 2 games to 1. the playoffs as of September through their first 6 playoff games The Rockies will have more 15th, roughly the same gap the with the 7th lowest cumulative than enough time to prepare for Giants faced when games left ERA (1.77) in the playoffs since the World Series and get their in the season are considered. 1969. This was a continuation pitchers rested because the team The Rockies, however, were in from the regular season where they has an unprecedented 8 games fourth place in the race at the time amassed the lowest ERA in the maoff before their next game. This while the Giants were in second. jor leagues after the All Star break. gives time for the Rockies to plan Just like the Giants too, the RockTheir defense also posted the out their next move so they can do ies reeled off an unlikely winning best fielding percentage in basewhat the 1951 Giants could not. streak of 11 games, a franchise ball history in the regular seaThe Giants lost the 1951 World record, to keep themselves in son. Diamondbacks outfielder Series to the New York Yankees consideration. The team plowed Eric Byrnes contested that his in 6 games. The Rockies obvithrough the rest of the regular team had outplayed the Rockously hope to avoid this fate and season to force a tiebreaker which ies in the first 2 games of the recent history seems to be on also ended on the last possible series, but those claims were their side since the team has play, this time in extra innings. never backed up as the Rockies seemingly forgotten how to lose.

Matthew Pusard Staff Writer

Page 7

The lively crowd at Saturday’s homecoming football game cheered the Colorado School of Mines on to a 38-21 victory against Western New Mexi c o U n i v e r s i t y. The Orediggers came out with a very s t ro n g f i r s t half, outscoring WNMU 24-7.

Drew Ferren ran back a pickoff for a touchdown near the end of the 1st and sealed the deal, putting the game out of reach for the Mustangs. WMNU scored on the opening drive of the second half, but CSM quickly answered when J.T. Baum scored with a 13 yard run and Derek Pessek connected with Corry Huck in his second touchdown pass of the day to make the score 38-14. Mines now holds a record of 4 wins and 3 losses overall. Come cheer on CSM in their next game as they take on Fort Lewis College in Durango on October 20.

Shall We Pregame? Matthew Pusard Staff Writer The NFL tends to be 90% buildup and 10% game. The games are mostly played on Sundays and Mondays, but analysts are given hours upon hours of material to talk about throughout the following week. However, not everyone has the time to scour ESPN and various sports websites for information on their favorite teams or fantasy football players. That’s why a good pregame show and halftime show is essential for the casual viewers’ football experience. The men who man the pregame shows have to be insightful, eloquent, and concise to be able to relay their news to the average football fan in an hour’s time. Each show has its own flavor and here is the breakdown: FOX NFL Sunday This show appears to be the most consistent of the bunch. Howie Long and Hall of Fame QB Terry Bradshaw have been there since 1994 and Jimmie Johnson has been there off and on since then. They provide entertainment with Bradshaw’s antics, but they obviously exude football knowledge since they all played or coached football at one point in time. They lost a step when host James Brown left for CBS, since he had great chemistry with the rest of the crew, but this show still seems to be the best of the bunch. They should bring back Joe Buck as a full time host considering the enormity of his sporting knowledge, but is still around as a commentator along with Hall of Fame QB Troy Aikman. This show is the standard the rest should try to live up to. NFL Today (CBS) NFL Today is up-and-coming in the pregame world. The show has been adding talented pieces for the past few years. Dan Marino and former Bronco Shannon Sharpe give a great one-two punch in terms of former players, since both guys may be Top-5 all time at QB and TE respectively. Sharpe is tailor-made for this position, considering how much he loves to talk. He adds some spice to the show with his humorous insights on current situations. Marino, despite his large pool of football experience, seems a bit bland. NFL Today also has a few veteran voices in the show in Boomer Esiason and the aforementioned James Brown to guide the show as well as a newcomer, Bill Cowher. Cowher may be able to lay claim as one of history’s best coaches and as such is a tremendous asset to the show. They aren’t as fluid as the show on FOX, but they certainly have a wealth of talent to compete with them. Football Night in America (NBC) Sunday Night Football appears

to have too many names in their booth. They have a great ringleader in Bob Costas, and Chris Collinsworth has been in the pregame business for many years, but the rest of the crew around them seems to be a circus. They have so many people around, but never have them all on-screen at the same time. It just seems disjointed. Potential Hall of Fame RBs Jerome Bettis and Tiki Barber are new to the game, but essentially seem to fill the same role. Keith Olbermann, a former anchor on SportsCenter from the 90’s, is an added bonus but seems underused. He has a bit every week talking about the worst person in the NFL, but it’s quite short and seems to be a promo for his show on MSNBC. Nevertheless, he does a good job. Olbermann’s liberal views do seem to rub a few of the analysts wrong though. The saving graces of the show are the best announcers in the game: John Madden and Al Michaels. They always have a segment or two during halftime. Madden is a virtual treasure trove of football knowledge, and while his pairing with Pat Summerall was better, this team is a close second. Monday Night Countdown (ESPN) This program has a bit of an interesting twist to it as ESPN, the self proclaimed leader in sporting news, dedicates the entire afternoon to the Monday night game. It starts off with Pardon the Interruption, their most popular and arguably best sports analysis show. Tony Kornheiser, one of the commentators on MNF, and Michael Wilbon provide their insight on the upcoming game, often from the stadium that the game is about to be played in. This adds a special emphasis to the game as do Kornheiser’s ridiculously colored sports jackets. Then, SportsCenter follows with their take on the game. This leads up to the pregame show with ESPN gurus such as Chris Berman (the Swami), former Bronco great Tom Jackson (creator of the popular Jacked Up! segments featuring big hits from the week), Bill Parcels, Keyshawn Johnson, Emmitt Smith, Steve Young, and Trey Wingo. This cast is crowded as well, but it seems to work better than on NBC. Finally, the lead up to the actual Monday night spectacular is complete. ESPN has resources up the wazoo to exploit for its show, but they seem to overhype the games. ESPN shows weekly commercials to promote each individual game and these guys, Berman especially, just jump right on the hype train. MNF is a football institution from the 70’s and needs no introduction. It sells itself as bonus football to help start off the week on the right foot and any self-respecting sports fan knows about it, even after its migration from ABC to ESPN.

Page 8

Satire

October 17, 2007

Denver Overrun by BABIES!!! Pamela Anderson Marriage Annulled Music Choices Disrupt Bliss shirt, and neon orange short shorts to the song, “It’s The End of the World as We Know It” by REM. Their priest for the night was ReverThe marriage between Pamela end Patrick Snow, DDS. Snow had Anderson and her new beau Rick just received the certificate ordainSalomon ended abruptly Sunday ing him as a minister and authorizafter it was annulled. The couple ing him to practice dentistry in Newas married in Las Vegas on Ocvada in the mail earlier in the week. tober 6th at The Mirage in a small Despite an inexperienced pastor ceremony. Reportedly, the marriage fumbling through the ceremony, Saarose so Anderson could pass lomon and Anderson were officially some time between appearances married a few scant minutes later in Hans Klok’s magic shows at the before they engaged in a passionPlanet Hollywood Hotel & Casino, a ate embrace. The newly married performance she makes twice daily. couple proceeded to retreat into The two had apparently met earthe casino portion of the Mirage lier in the day and became instantly attracted to one another. They for the reception. Amongst the crowd and various slot machines instantly found great things in comAnderson and Salomon danced mon- like Hepatitis C. The two are to their wedding song, “I Hate Evalso veterans of widely distributed erything about You” by Three Days celebrity pornography: AnGrace. This was followed up with derson with Motley Crue “Cold Hard Bitch” by Jet, “The drummer Tommy Lee Lady is a Tramp” by Rodgers and Salomon with and Hart, “Dumb Blonde” horizontally inclined by Dolly Parton, and the hotel heiress Paris obligatory chicken dance. Hilton. “I’ve never Never the less, things ‘dated’ someone turned ugly when “I Ran so wholesome (So Far Away)” by A Flock before,” comof Seagulls played over mented Salomon. the casino sound sysSince the duo tem. Anderson became had only met irate, yelling at Salomon that day, they for being so insensitive. ro u n d e d u p a Apparently, the song group of Vegas’s irked her because of her finest drunks past “romantic” history and hobos to with various talentless 80s be witnesses for rock stars. To paraphrase the proceedings. comedian Jeffrey Ross, Also, a last minute Anderson was ‘loving’ playlist replaced her way to the middle. conventional Since no attempt was wedding music. As Salomon COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS made by Salomon at “reconciliation” after the cerwalked down emony, Anderson sought the aisle, U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Look- an annulment, or, as she put it, “another mulligan from God.” ing For” blared from the wedding Nevertheless, the marriage endcalliope. Shortly after, Anderson ed up being above average in came down the aisle wearing a length for a celebrity marriage. white wedding veil, a Hooters t-

Matthew Pusard Celebrity Gossip Gossiper

TIM WEILERT / OREDIGGER, POLITICAL IMAGES COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Terrorist Baby: A baby shot its ice/Rove ray at innocent tourists during Great American Beer Festival.

Tim Weilert The Infant Whisperer

Epidemic,” appears to be lead region of Denver has been taken based paint. Lead, though potenby the “baby army” and is expandtially deadly, taken in small doses ing outwards. News of attacks In December, 2006 Denver may curb the have been was inundated with one of the b l o c k e d “...government interventions may damaging eflargest blizzards in recent years. fects of ice until now, Roads, businesses, and airports b e c a u s e have doomed the mile high city.” rays. Despite were all closed for days. Everyone all that, govall news in the city was stuck at home with ernment interventions may have outlets in the metro area were detheir significant others. Fast forward stroyed. For now, Golden appears doomed the mile high city. Chinese to September 2007, nine months officials attempted to warn the to be a safe haven due to proteclater; hospitals have reported record U.S. government, however; their tion from the Table Mountains. Jefnumbers of superhuman births. The intentions were lost in translation. ferson County officials are in talks babies, thought to have unnatural Large scale recalls of children’s toys with CSM on the idea of building tolerance for cold and pain, apcontaining lead depleted the naa fortress on the site of the Hall of pear to be tion’s supply of what may cure the Justice. Undeveloping “The only known cure for the fortunately babies, bringing peace to Denver. u n n a t u r a l infants affected by the “Ice this action A similar baby boom occurred “ice ray” during the late 1940’s. The children may come powers. Not Children Epidemic,” appears to too late since did not develop dangerous powonly are the ers due to the widespread use of analysts exbe lead based paint.” children imlead piping in residential housing pect the pervious to during that time. Instead, these baby boom harm, but they also attack peochildren produced memorable histo continue through November. ple and buildings at random. The only known cure for the torical events such as the 1960’s, The entire lower downtown the Vietnam War, and Bill Clinton. infants affected by the “Ice Children

Reasons to Date a Girl From Mines 10) They’ll drink you under the Fluids table 9) Proximity 8) You don’t have to worry about her classmates stealing her away 7) Physics homework is a thing of the past thanks to GF3000 6) If you push, they push back... harder 5) She knows her curves 4) They’re one of the guys 3) They’re NOT one of the guys 2) Ten times better than Boulder girls 1) You gotta love that Mines Ass. Mike Stone

Brittany: Dead

Mike Stone Reporter

She lost her career, she lost her marriage, she lost her sanity, she lost her sobriety, and she lost her kids. Yesterday, Brittany Spears lost her life when she drove her car off a cliff, landing in a tumble of flames. Sharks ate her body, leaving no remnants. Shortly thereafter, a nuclear bomb went off and her name was erased from the record books. I don’t think she’s coming back. It is over. No more on that subject. There are wars, global warming and children who are starving to be thinking about. I don’t think we’ll be seeing anymore of her anytime soon. Goodbye… Seriously. The End.

Halloween! Do you have a great Halloween costume this year?

Are you going to be the talk of the water cooler come November 1st?

Do you have a camera and want to be in the Oredigger? Submit pictures of yourself in your Halloween costume to [email protected] by October 28th at Noon to see if you made the Top Ten Costumes!