The Naked Truth (screenplay)

INT. CAFE - PEAK HOUR The camera is just hovering around the noisy, crowded cafe, as though looking for an interesting subject. Presently, it chances upon a waiter carrying an espresso shot and a cold coffee. It starts following the waiter. The waiter places the order on a table. Two people are sitting on this table. These are our protagonists, NUDIE and GUY, both around 19. NUDIE’s dressed in a band t-shirt and grungy jeans, with long hair. Left of centre, he believes that society is hypocritical, and supports free will. Presently, he’s observing people, and is getting somewhat bored. GUY is dressed a little more subtly, in a plain t-shirt and jeans. He’s clean cut. Entirely conventional, he believes in following the rules of society to the T. Right now, he’s engrossed in reading a newspaper. The waiter is placing the espresso in front of NUDIE, and the cold coffee in front of GUY, whenNUDIE (as though struck by sudden inspiration) Tis bullshit, I tell ya! WAITER (confused, in broken English) No sir, cold coffee. NUDIE (to WAITER, irritated) Yeah, okay. WAITER slinks away.

YOU!

What?

NUDIE (CONT’D) (flicking GUY’s newspaper) GUY (not looking up from his newspaper)

NUDIE I said it’s bullshit. (CONTINUED)

2. CONTINUED:

GUY (like suffering a fool) What is? NUDIE This whole nudity debate. What about it?

GUY

NUDIE Tis bullshit, I tell ya! GUY I got that. But what bit about it? NUDIE The whole thing. (mischievously) The full monty! GUY You against it? You crazy?

NUDIE

Conversation falters as GUY doesn’t bother replying and keeps reading his newspaper. NUDIE (CONT’D) (forcing conversation) I am against the debate, if that’s what you mean. GUY finally stops reading his newspaper, and keeps it down, taking care to fold it neatly. The camera, at this point, changes to handheld, and pans quickly between NUDIE and GUY as they say their dialogue. GUY That is not what I meant. NUDIE Then what did you mean? GUY Are you against nudity? NUDIE Are you against breathing? (CONTINUED)

3. CONTINUED: (2)

GUY Are you stupid? NUDIE Nudity’s as natural as breathing. Is not. Is.

GUY NUDIE

GUY I beg to disagree. NUDIE How were you born? The camera stops the rapid pan movement, and settles into much slower, and more convenient movements as the pace of the dialogue also becomes more deliberate. GUY (not sure what to make of the question) The normal way, you know...? NUDIE Nude or fully clothed? GUY Nude, of course! NUDIE See? Nudity’s natural! GUY (hint of sarcasm) I was also born with a pea of a wiener. So?

NUDIE

GUY Things grow, people grow. Things change, people change. NUDIE But that’s just wrong. I mean, early man didn’t need clothes, why should we? (CONTINUED)

4. CONTINUED: (3)

GUY (matter of factly) Early man also roamed around on foot. And had raw food. And... NUDIE (quickly cutting in) A matter of convenience. GUY So what are you implying? NUDIE (stressing each word) That people should be allowed to roam around naked if they want. We see some hot girls pass by close to the table. NUDIE (CONT’D) (eyeing the girls, mischievously) Think of the possibilities. GUY (also spying the girls) And thus, to protect the opposite sex from animals like you, nudity in public isn’t allowed. What?

NUDIE

GUY Half the girls will end up getting raped on the very first day. By you! NUDIE It doesn’t have to be sexual. In time, people will become immune to nudity and it won’t be such a big turn-on anymore. Early women weren’t raped, were they? GUY (sarcastically) Cave drawings are a bit fuzzy on that issue.

(CONTINUED)

5. CONTINUED: (4)

NUDIE Think of nudity as an art form, and public nudity as the right to expression. GUY But then, not everyone is Vinci’s descendant. NUDIE (irritated) Do you say things just for the heck of it? GUY I mean, not everyone will think of nudity as art which needs to be appreciated. There are some sleaze balls. NUDIE Well then, fuck ‘em and fuck their myopic views of the world! GUY You can fuck their views, but you still gotta live with such people. NUDIE And you are increasingly sounding like one of them. GUY I’m just sounding like reason. If it had a voice. NUDIE Sometimes you need to fuck reason too, to get what is rightfully yours. GUY But then displaying your dongers in public isn’t rightfully yours. NUDIE Then it should be. GUY (almost pleading) And pray, why?

(CONTINUED)

6. CONTINUED: (5)

NUDIE (impassioned) I mean, today, I can like own a fleet of Hummers and just fuck up the environment and the ozone layer-that is within my rights-but something as simple as refusing to wear clothes in public isn’t?! Just because some fat assed politicians aren’t proud enough of their bodies to display them, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t too! GUY Maybe it’s got more to do with sensibilities than legalities. Maybe people just aren’t ready to see each other nude in public. They see marching buff. If then why

NUDIE those Jain priests along the road in the they can accept them, not each other?

GUY (stumped) I...don’t...know... NUDIE See, at some level, you also agree with me. GUY (as though the last statement was blasphemous) I. DO. NOT! Nudity in public is gross. Specially male nudity! NUDIE (with smug conviction) Which is why, it’s necessary. NUDIE puts some money down to pay for his coffee and starts to get up while speakingNUDIE (CONT’D) To make people realize that nudity, is in fact, beautiful and natural. (CONTINUED)

7. CONTINUED: (6)

We see NUDIE smile smugly, as though resting his case. GUY is pretending to count the money NUDIE put down, so as to avoid looking at NUDIE’S smile. NUDIE turns to leave, whenGUY (a tad uncertainly) So I guess you’ll be the first person roaming the streets naked if it’s legalized...? NUDIE (giving half a glance over his shoulder, and smiling) Nah...not me. My wiener’s too short. We see NUDIE walking away, while the film goes out of focus while simultaneously FADING TO BLACK. TITLE CARD. CREDITS. END.