The Given Life

The Given Life Jeremy Abel We live the given life, and not the planned. – Wendell Berry, A Timbered Choir In order to avoid misunderstanding let me state from the outset that, though I have developed serious disagreements with the Pentecostal Holiness people, I still regard them as my brothers and sisters in Christ. I understand that most of them no longer believe that I am a true Christian, but that is an inevitable conclusion drawn from their doctrine and I have no right to resent them because of that. Now, on with the story. My wife and I were both raised in independent Pentecostal Holiness churches (henceforward PHC). They have no formal confession of faith so let me describe what they believe. First, they are classical Pentecostals, i.e., they are not charismatic or Word-Faith. They believe they have remained true to the Azusa Street revival at the turn of the 20th century without falling into the excesses of much of the rest of Pentecostalism. They believe in the Baptism of the Holy Ghost as a second (or, possibly, third) work of grace, the evidence of which is speaking in an unlearned, unknown tongue. This speaking in tongues, which ought to be the regular experience of those baptized in the Holy Ghost, is a completely unconscious experience uncontrolled and uninitiated by the speaker. They believe the nine gifts of the Spirit listed in 1 Corinthians 12-14 remain in operation today. They believe healing is a part of the atonement and is the right of every believer, though they deny that God is obligated to heal as many Word-Faith teachers believe. Their worship services are, theoretically, without a set order. The worship is spontaneous and exuberant. The Holy Ghost may "fall" on one or more worshipers and a "move of God" may take place. This means that the rest of the service may be occupied with worshipers dancing, running the aisles, praying, speaking in tongues, being "slain in the Spirit," etc. There may be no preaching in these services. In fact, it is very often said that "the service was so wonderful that the preacher didn’t even get to preach." They are firmly within the revivalist tradition with all of its usual practices, such as altar calls. They are also independent churches having no denominational affiliation. There is a Pentecostal Holiness denomination out there, but they are not connected in any way to the group I am describing. Secondly, they are the "Holiness People." In fact, many of them refer to themselves primarily as Holiness rather than Pentecostal. This is due in part to many PHC’s belief in a second, definite experience of sanctification similar to what is taught in Wesleyanism. Mainly, though, the name Holiness refers to their belief in "standards." These are very specific rules of dress and behavior drawn from the Bible. Let me name a few: women should have long, uncut hair; men should have short hair; women should wear dresses or skirts which must be at least knee length; no shorts; no sleeveless shirts; no makeup; no jewelry, including wedding rings; no television or movies; no secular or contemporary Christian music. The list could go on. There are variations in strictness between churches but the list would be pretty standard. Furthermore, they did not believe these were optional rules but God’s

commandments; to violate them was to sin. There is some question among them whether those who do not know about these rules can be saved but folks like me who do know and have left the church are almost certainly out. So know you have an idea of what the PHC is like. Until my mid-twenties I enthusiastically believed all of it. My wife and I were well respected in these churches. I was editor and main contributor of a newsletter and frequently an adult Sunday School teacher. A few even thought I should enter the ministry. We were quite happy where we were, but my voracious reading and curiosity is what did me in. Actually the internet was also a key factor since it introduced me to people I would have never known otherwise. I developed an interest in theology in my late teens and began exploring the works of Arminians like A.M. Hills, W.B. Pope, John Miley, John Wesley, and even Arminius himself. Somewhere in my early twenties I found Christian Counterculture magazine edited by Rob Schlapfer, which in turn introduced me to John Piper and R.C. Sproul. Sproul particularly introduced me to Reformed theology and challenged my Arminianism. In my mid-twenties I found the White Horse Inn and my remaining Arminian and Pentecostal beliefs fell one by one. I remember listening to the program one day in particular when I thought, for the first time, that it might be possible that what I had believed in the PHC might really be wrong. It was only a matter of time then. Rod Rosenbladt, one of the White Horse Inn’s members, intrigued me. All I knew about Lutherans was that they were liberal wannabe Catholics. I had no idea there were conservative Lutherans who took the Bible seriously. As I began investigating it, Lutheran theology made more sense to me than Calvinism. (I could never believe the Reformed doctrines of limited atonement and perseverance of the saints.) A new world began opening before me. I began learning more about Lutheran theology through the radio program Issues, Etc. I had also developed an interest in the liturgical year. We went to Advent, Lent, and Good Friday services at a couple of Lutheran churches in the two years before we left the PHC and fell in love with the liturgy. The sacraments, which are virtually non-existent in the PHC, became a huge issue for us and probably are the single greatest issue, along with historical continuity, that caused us to leave. Also during this whole process I began to become uncomfortable with the way in which PHC, and Pentecostal churches in general, were completely disconnected with the historic church. I have mentioned the liturgy and the church year. But even more disturbing was the way Pentecostals ignored the historical Church and dismissed it as backslidden, if not apostate, from sometime around the end of the events of Acts until the Azusa Street revival in 1906. Or, if they were generous, until the time of Wesley. There really is very little resemblance between a Pentecostal church and the Church of the last two thousand years. This became more and more unacceptable to me. I began desiring to place myself and my family squarely in the historic Church. I came to believe, to quote a Lutheran blogger I was reading at the time, that the Lutheran church is the continuation of the catholic church of the west, rightly reformed. I distinctly remember the first time I recited the Lord’s Prayer after we

started attending Faith Lutheran Church full-time. I felt for in an almost physical way that I was part of the Church of the ages. Speaking that prayer and reciting the Creed connected me in a way I had never known before. One event in particular opened my eyes to the problems with the "standards" of the PHC. My wife and I went with a friend to a CCM concert. Needless to say, the fallout was significant, especially for my friend who was badly mistreated. Later I was discussing the concert and CCM in general with a PHCer. He said that certain limits needed to be placed on the sort of music Holiness people listened to. I had heard all the arguments before and didn’t buy them. I finally said, in some exasperation, "You are wanting to draw some arbitrary line which you cannot support from Scripture." He actually agreed and said that most of the standards were based on arbitrary lines. It was an epiphany. In the coming weeks I saw that most of these rules were based on bad readings of Scripture and the PHC had no right to impose them on the conscience of God’s people. If they were simply house rules perhaps it could be excused. But these were preached as matters of sin. My wife and I began discussing these issues. She shared many of my doubts and questions. One day as we were driving down the road I suggested, only half-jokingly, that we should just become Lutheran. Her look was all the confirmation I needed. I think it was decided at that moment though it took a bit of time to act on it. It was a very difficult time for us but we had no other choice. We began attending a local LCMS parish in January 2004 and were accepted into membership the following Trinity Sunday. In the end we decided that a quick and clean break was necessary. It was hard on many people and caused hurt that we wish we could erase, but we are sure it was the right decision. We are living the life we have been given by a gracious God; even if it is not the life we had planned.