Tend The Raging Storm Within

Chin Hing 1

TEND THE RAGING STORM WITHIN (AT WORKPLACE)

ErnSzeJien Sdn Bhd 45, Persiaran Cempaka Sari 50, Desa Cempaka, 31400 Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia. Tel: 05-5452918, Email: [email protected], Website : http://esjien.blogspot.com/  Ling Chin Hing, October 2009 All Copyright Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form of binding or cover other than that which it is published without the prior consent of the publisher.

Chin Hing 2

Introduction Anger or its generic term, raging storm within is one of the seven deadly sins. The indignation is a mere natural human mood disorders and nature's way of empowering us to retaliate our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. Ironically, the problem is not anger, but the mismanagement of anger. Once we lose control, mismanaged of raging storm within occur. Consequence by anger often causes conflict in our relationships and health threat. Clayton Tucker-Ladd PhD in Psychological Self-Help cites a 1983 Psychology Today poll that asked: "If you could secretly push a button and thereby eliminate any person with no repercussions to yourself, would you press that button?" Yes, said 69 percent of the males and 56 percent of the women, representing tens of millions of would-be dead bosses, co-workers, spouses and lovers and ex’s, family members, neighbors, politicians, telemarketers, movie stars, news reporters with bad wigs, reality game show contestants, and lawyers who appear on Geraldo. Anger in workplace Charles Spielberger PhD in a brochure published by the American Psychological Association say, Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage." Workplace is the most common ground our rage were mismanaged. Each day we begun work routine under the watchful eye of our immediate superior as to ensure consistent work performance are achieved. Objective driven and the passion to complete assigned tasks were the primary focus. However, when thing doesn’t go our way, we find ourselves overpowered by this raging storm within. The outburst became stressful when project deadline and delays were unkempt. In retaliation to stress, adrenaline and cortisol were pumped into the body system,

Chin Hing 3 priming our physical body for flight or fight. The repercussions arouse a powerful aggressive feelings and behaviors. Escalating anger and stress, it successfully stoked one another and we find ourselves yielded to the process of rages out of control. The excess adrenaline and cortisol set off a torrent of destructive cellular reactions that result in the brain being unable to cope. From rage, chest tightness, excruciating pain and breathing unevenness began mounting and led to numerous health threat such as heavy sweating, high blood pressure and if severe, cardiac arrest, stroke or unconsciousness due to lack of oxygen going through our nervous system. Knowing how to keep cool can help you stay calm With danger lurks from the anger aftermath, keeping cool is the next best thing to do. Deep breathing, effective communication and content heart does help to tend the Raging Storm within. If you are involved in dealing with difficult peers or having ill manner-relationship with immediate superior, it is good to learn these techniques: 1.

Deep breathing techniques (Instill an absence of displeasure or hostility). Our brain requires the right amounts of oxygen and carbon dioxide for clear thinking. With shallow and slow breathing, it produces calmness. To achieve that, we must learn to walk away by tactfully excuse ourselves from the anger-breeding scene. Many times we give in to our urge to fight before we have time to think through what we are going to say or do. Find a secluded place within the premise. Get a chair to comfortably settle down or lie down on the floor. Then, place one hand on your abdomen and one hand on your chest. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose into your abdomen to push up your hand as much as you feel comfortable, then a slight pause, and exhale through your mouth, making a quiet, breezy sound as you gently blow out and then another slight pause. Do this for three to twenty minutes depending on the level of your rage. During the process,

Chin Hing 4 center the thought to nothingness. Hear the sound and feel the texture of breathing as you become more and more relaxed. With such remedy, we could easily dissolve the worst thoughts or frantic mental activity, so that we can buy ourselves a few precious seconds before doing something irretrievably stupid! 2.

Effective communication (Think before we speak and listen before we respond defensively). Once we had taken time to cool off and decided that we are going to do something, communicating correctly is extremely important. But, this time, with rational mind. Avoid attacking our peer because once they think we are attacking them, they will automatically be put on defense. Once the other person is on defense we have lost them because they will not be listening to what we have to say, but only thinking of ways to defend themselves against our attacks. During the conversation, make sure we listen to the other person because chances are their points are just as valid as yours. Don't interrupt and repeat what the other person had to say back to them once they are done speaking. This way will promote clearer understanding between the sender and recipient. After we are done repeating the message, ask the other person to repeat what we had said as to ensure they understood us.

3.

Content heart (Letting go the conflict with loving kindness and sympathetic mind). Do not keep tally on the conflict. Sad to say, our failure to forgive and forget are hindered by our worst enemies i.e., inflated egos. Therefore, think of ourselves as ego-less with infinite compassion toward the people who attribute to the anger. Once you have the air cleared, forgive the other person for what they did; thereafter, forgetting it has ever taken place. We must do this in order to move on with our daily life without any excess baggage being carried on the shoulders. This is the most important step of them all

Chin Hing 5 because if we continue allowing the baggage to dwell and cumulate within us, more likely, we tend to erupt at our spouse, children or someone that is totally undeserving of it ─innocent bystander. Conclusion Healthy venting can provide a constructive release for anger, but may also add fuel to the fire. On the other side of the coin, there is a danger in holding up our anger, as it can turn inward on us, resulting in hypertension, high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, stroke and depression. Suppressed anger can also wind up surfacing in unexpected situations - often directed at innocent bystander ─a phenomenon known as displacement. Unexpressed anger can result in passiveaggressive behavior, which involves getting back at people indirectly instead of confronting them head-on. There is a wise analogy to describe anger. It was said that anger is like having a pet tiger we take out for a walk. The beast needs occasional air and exercise, but how successful we are at releasing it from its cage depends on our well-honed skill and judgment. The method applies well when handling our anger. If we have any doubt about whether we should sound off or bite our lip, ask ourselves if our would-be response is proportionate to our hurt. For instance, if we are thinking of ‘mowing down our boss with a lawnmower’, it might be better to take a couple of deep breaths and resolve to take up the conflict at a later time. Last and not least, do not dwell upon THEM versus US. It is way too easy to get angry at people we perceive as different from ourselves. Because of our illness (temporal insanity), we are the ones who find ourselves on the THEM receiving end, subject to opprobrium and ridicule and humiliation. We know from personal experience how destructive THEM versus US thinking

Chin Hing 6 truly is. Many have felt its terrible force in full measure. Therefore, we need not contribute to this form of madness. Works Cited Robert W. Westermeyer, Ph.D. Anger Management. Allan, R. (2005). Getting Control of your Anger. New York : Mc Graw Hill.