Teenie Weenies & Pickle

The Teenie Weenies go in the Pickle Business! There was a mystery in the Teenie Weenie village. The little folks, no taller than a half-used lead pencil, puckered up their tiny brows and did a great deal of thinking. The General, who was the head of the Teenie Weenie clan, had been mighty busy for some days. Several times he had mounted his riding mouse, and galloped away on some mysterious errand. “I’ll bet you a grape seed the General’s got something up his sleeve besides his arm,” remarked the Dunce, as he stretched him self out under a shady dandelion, beside the Sailor. “Of course he has,” said the Sailor, who was carving a set of wee fingerbowls out of cherry stones. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready, and I’ll bet it’ll be something worth listening to.” “Well, I’m ready to listen right now,” said the Dunce with a yawn. And resting his head on one of the cherry stones he fell asleep. That evening, word was passed about the village that the General wanted all the Teenie Weenies to meet in the old Derby hat, which served the little folks as a schoolhouse. An hour before the appointed time the old hat was filled nearly to the crown with curious Teenie Weenies. “Friends,” said the General, as at last he stepped out onto the platform, “I have news for you—we are going into the pickle business!” “Pickle business!” shouted the surprised Teenie Weenies. “Yes, the pickle business,” answered the General. “We are going to put Teenie Weenie Sweet Pickles on the market. I have a contract here that I am going to read to you.” “Yes, do—go on!” cried the excited little people. “Well, then,” began the General, “here it is.” He unfolded a bit of paper no bigger than a postage stamp. It was filled with writing so small that a big person could not possibly have read it without the use of powerful magnifying glasses. The General held up his hand again for silence, as the eager little people were buzzing like a hive of bees.

“We, the Teenie Weenies,” read the General, “agree to furnish small sweet pickles of the highest quality, to be known as Monarch Teenie Weenie Sweets. These pickles we agree to select with care, and prepare in the cleanest possible way. We also agree to build Teenie Weenie barrels, in which the Teenie Weenie pickles are to be packed. We further agree that the barrels shall be made out of selected hardwood and bound with silvered hoops. These barrels we agree to make so strong that big boys and girls can play with them for years after they have eaten the pickles.” When the General had finished reading the contract, he beckoned to the Cook, who came staggering onto the platform with a Teenie Weenie pickle on his back. He dropped it onto the table, and began to cut it into pieces with a huge knife nearly an inch long. The Turk quickly passed the pieces to the Teenie Weenies, who ate them greedily, and all the little folks decided that they were the best they had ever tasted. “That’s the kind of pickle we are going to put up in quantities,” said the General, after everyone had eaten a piece. “Now,” he continued, “all those who wish to work in this new business, please stand up.” All the Teenie Weenies jumped to their feet, even the Dunce, who was fast asleep, managing to rise. “Well, well, it looks as if you all wanted to go into the growing and packing of pickles,” smiled the General, “so I will sign the contract.” Taking his tiny fountain pen from his pocket, the General signed the con tract “There,” he said, as he carefully blotted his signature, “we are in the pickle business now, sure enough!” And the little people gave three rousing cheers. The Teenie Weenies set to work first at making the barrels. That was quite a task, for the barrels were to be seven and three-quarters inches high, which is fifteen and a half feet, Teenie Weenie measurement, a Teenie Weenie foot being half an inch according to our scale. Some of the little men set up a sawmill and cut the wood into staves and barrel heads, while others made the beautifully silvered hoops. The Cook kept a huge kettle of wax heated, with which the inside of the barrel was coated to make it airtight.

Every one of the little folks worked—even the Lady of Fashion helped, for she is extremely neat, and she watched to see that everything was done in the cleanest way possible. “It certainly takes an awful lot of work to build these barrels,” said the old Soldier, as he and the General stood watching the Teenie men put a barrel together. “Yes, it does,” answered the General thought fully. “But it is worth while to do it well, for there are many boys and girls in this great world who are going to get a lot of pleasure out of these Teenie Weenie barrels, both while they have pickles in them, and after they’re empty.”

The Teenie Weenies There was a moist woodsy smell in the air. Frogs blinked stupidly at sluggish flies and the birds preened their feathers and stared into the yellow sunshine. Beneath a certain clump of bushes the Teenie Weenie village dreamed through the day’s work. Many of the little men, no taller than an ink bottle, covered yawns behind their tiny hands. “I don’t know what’s the matter with everybody,” said the General. “The men act as though it were a great task to lift a toffie and the boys in the peanut butter factory could hardly cut through the shell of a peanut with an ax. I can’t understand it—I found the Dunce sound asleep to-day behind a jar of sweet chow in the pickle factory. I can’t make out what is the matter with them.” “It’s Spring fever, General,” smiled the Lady of Fashion as she threaded a tiny needle with a thread of spider’s web. “All they need is a little vacation and I suggest a picnic.” “HOORAY!” shouted the Dunce, who had been dozing on the caterpillar fur rug before the open door. “I believe you’re right!” exclaimed the General. ‘We’ve been working pretty hard and fast lately and a picnic will do us all good.” The little people were greatly pleased with the idea of a picnic and many plans were made for the great event. It was decided to have the picnic on an island in the creek and the General promised to charter a duck for the trip. The day before the picnic the Cook was busy pre paring the good things to eat and the little women washed and ironed most of the day in order to be neat and clean for the holiday. The Teenie Weenies were out of their tiny beds before daylight and after a hurried breakfast of Teenie Weenie Wheathearts, the men carried the picnic food down to the creek. There was a thimbleful of Teenie Weenie Sardine sandwiches and a thimbleful of Teenie Weenie Peanut Butter sandwiches. A whole Teenie Weenie Sweet Pickle had been wrapped carefully to keep it fresh and clean and five grains of Teenie Weenie Popcorn were taken along as a special treat.

The Lady of Fashion made a delicious salad out of Teenie Weenie String Beans and Teenie Weenie Diced Carrots with bits of Teenie Weenie Beets cut in to make it pretty. There were Teenie Weenie hammocks, Teenie Weenie blankets for the babies to roll on and a Teenie Weenie Toffie was taken along for dessert. The duck swam up at the appointed time, and when the Teenie Weenie women and children were helped onto his back he swam off to the island, where he left the little folks and returned for the food and the Teenie Weenie men. The little people had a wonderful time on the island. Only one thing happened to mar the day and even that proved to be lots of fun for the tiny people. The Dunce insisted on riding on top of the duck’s head, and all might have gone well if the General had not asked the duck a question. The duck shook his head so violently he shook the poor Dunce off into the water. Fortunately a feather, from the duck, happened to float within reach and the Dunce was able to drift to shore. The duck carried the Teenie Weenies safely back home in the evening and all the little folks declared they had never spent such a lovely day. “A picnic in the woods is certainly a healthful and lovely way to spend a day,” said the General as he walked towards home that evening. “Yes, it is!” answered the Doctor, “Especially if one has plenty of delicious Monarch Teenie Weenie food to eat.”