Silence

HOW WE LOST SILENCE — by Richard Mahler

A

couple of years ago, wilderness sound recordist Gordon Hempton toured 15 states west of the Mississippi and found only two places—remote parts of Colorado and Minnesota—that were free of human-made sounds such as motors, airplanes, amplified music, chain saws, and gunfire for more than 15 minutes during daylight hours. Even in the depths of winter, Hempton discovered that places like Yellowstone were rent asunder by the earsplitting whine of snowmobiles. As the 21st century begins, the mechanical clamor of the Industrial Revolution and the electronic beep of the Information Age conspire to obliterate the soothing balm of nature’s silence. Not only has human-derived sound invaded nearly every public space, but we seem oddly compelled to let it invade the inner-sanctums of our homes. Noise is an immediate byproduct of rampant consumerism and the habituated behavior of the modern American. As soon as we walk in our front doors, we flick on TV sets, radios, computers, or CD players; play back our voice mail and answering machine messages; direct our children to amuse themselves with video games and taped movies; and push the buttons on electronic gadgets we’ve installed in every room of the house. As if these distractions aren’t enough, we seem driven to talk constantly: with our spouses, kids, pets, relatives, and electronic pen pals. Lost from our daily routine is time alone to abide quietly and peacefully with ourselves. Yet this is where we often touch the fullness of all our possibilities, waking up to the cause and effect of our lives. The sanctuary of silence can restore our peace of mind while reducing stress, expanding insight, and enhancing happiness. Throughout history, “alone time” has been a proven technique for maintaining psychological equilibrium and acquiring self-knowledge. The value of an ongoing “practice” of solitude is that the inner resources we develop on a daily basis can be directed toward whatever personal crisis is at hand. In this way, we acquire the tools, skills, imagination, and resilience for handling life’s inevitable ups and downs. Too often we take for granted our role in a society whose insatiable appetite for socializing, consuming, and external

8

◆ SPRING 2000

stimulation places no value on being quiet and alone. As a result, we spend so little time quietly alone that we rarely have a chance to reflect on what we’re doing the rest of the time—or why. Knowing and understanding ourselves gives our lives depth, wholeness, and meaning as well as pleasure and strength. Silence allows us to open the door to our unconscious mind, feel the yearnings of our heart, follow the wisdom of our intuition, probe the origin of our aversions, and understand the truth of our experience. We at last get in touch with our deepest secrets, strongest passions, fondest wishes, and happiest memories. Silence and solitude allow us, as 19th-century writer Henry David Thoreau discovered during his retreat to Walden Pond, to “be completely true to ourselves.” The possibilities wrought by this transformational journey are both challenging and wonderful. This state of being requires no special handshake, equipment, class, guru, therapist, diet, pill, technique, or jargon. Silence and solitude are accessible to each of us and cost nothing. They are as easy to find as a door and four walls. They are as soothing as a bubble bath, as illuminating as a bright idea, and as thrilling as a new romance. If you’re like almost everybody I know, your life is already filled to overflowing. It feels like there’s no time to do even the things you have to do, let alone want to do. But if we’re motivated, that can and will change. It’s a matter of restructuring priorities and using the discretionary moments of our lives in new ways. The first step is to disavow ourselves of the notion that embracing silence and solitude means carving big blocks of time out of our busy days. Five quiet minutes in the early morning is a good start and can make a surprisingly big difference. The second step is convincing ourselves that making a place for silence and solitude is not about escaping from reality or wasting precious time. In fact, the opposite may be true. An embrace of quiet has the power to heighten our awareness and can subsequently “pay for itself” by making us more efficient in how we spend our time. It’s important to know that

AND WHY WE NEED IT BACK experiencing solitude does not necessarily demand being physically alone, sitting quietly, or closing our eyes in meditation. There are an infinite number of ways to inhabit this state of being. We may be driving in a car, waiting in a line, taking a shower, lying in bed, walking in a park, listening to music, cooking food, puttering in a garden, swimming laps, walking a dog, or riding a stationary bicycle. Of course, we could also be doing nothing at all—and that remains the ideal. Coaxed from the idle moments that already exist in our overbooked lives, quiet interludes lie waiting to reveal and realign themselves. Novelist Alice Walker, who lives in a secluded part of northern California, once told an interviewer that the resurrection of silence is largely a matter of choice. “Turn off the noise,” Walker exhorted her listeners, “because you can control what you hear.” Another high-powered celebrity, actress Cheryl Tiegs, told Modern Maturity magazine that her favorite way to relax is retreating into her “Hour of Power.” Tiegs goes to a place where phones won’t ring and faxes won’t fax: “I turn everything off, go to my room, and read or lie down. When I get up,” Tiegs said, “everything is more manageable.” Implicit in this process is making better choices about how we spend our time. If we make it our intention to embrace quiet we will quickly discover how readily it can be welcomed into our daily routine. The fact is, silence and solitude can coexist with—and make less onerous—our impossible schedules and innumerable obligations. Having said that, we must accept that it is not enough to simply be in the realm of silence and solitude if positive and meaningful change is to occur. We must fully inhabit—in some way be transformed by or do something with—these elusive states of being. Immersion in silence and solitude gives us a chance to observe ourselves—especially our aggressive, chattering minds—from a detached, neutral place. Once we gain access to this perspective and develop a means for cultivating, nurturing, and maintaining it, we can return to the pulsing workaday world with a new outlook on life. Such a revised perspective has the power to change a great deal in our lives—perhaps everything. Over time,

FIVE THINGS YOU C AN DO TO BRING SILENCE AND SOLITUDE INTO DAILY LIFE 1. TURN OFF THE PHONE—A telephone can be a tyrant: demanding your undivided attention with its insistent ring—and the implication that you must drop everything to engage in a conversation with whomever is calling. If you’re not dealing with something urgent, a call can wait. Use an answering device to take messages and turn off the ringer. If you have a fax machine, ignore it for a while. 2. WALK IN A PARK—Chances are there’s a park within easy walking or driving distance from where you live. Take some time to experience the natural quiet of trees and grass. Even in urban areas, a park is more tranquil than the busy streets that surround it.

3. GO ON A MEDIA FAST—Many of us feel the day hasn’t really started until we read the newspaper or check the headlines on TV or radio. Yet news by definition is seldom good. Do you really need to know about the latest murder, mayhem, and Wall Street stock dive? Give yourself a treat by going without it for a full day. The habit may be easier to break than you imagined. 4. TAKE A HOT BATH—Make an announcement: “I am disappearing into the bathroom for an hour. Please do not disturb me!” Light a candle, add oils or scents to the water, stretch out against a bathtub pillow, close your eyes and luxuriate in steamy sensuality.

5. FIND THE QUIETEST TIME AND PLACE YOU KNOW—The world at dawn is special, often the most tranquil hour of the day. A secluded corner of your garden—or home—may inspire serenity. Whatever the space and time, find a quiet sanctuary and let it fill you up.

we may willingly let go of some of the busy behavior and overbooked lifestyle that brought us to this point in the first place. We may discover that less really is more, that a simpler life may be a richer one, that releasing old, unproductive habits can allow new, helpful, and nurturing ones to take root and grow. Richard Mahler is an author and freelance journalist based in Santa Fe, where he is current writing a book about the value of silence and solitude. His most recent book, “Tending the Earth, Mending the Spirit: The Healing Gifts of Gardening,” was published this spring by Hazelden.

SPRING 2000 ◆ 9