Sex Story

REDEYE I THURSDAY

SEXLESS IN THE CITY RedEye

Chicagoans have sex 73 times a year. On average. According to condom maker Trojan. But are we rolling like thunder under the covers or just rolling over? Bad news, Chicago: The city's sexual frequency doesn't sound so super-freaky compared to Houston (H-town gets down Jo' times a year, claiming the No. t spot), Atlanta (88 times a year) or even the national average (84). In fact, our scoring average of 73 tied for seventh among the to largest U.S. cities in Trojan's States of Pleasure survey, released Wednesday. About two out of three Chicagoans reported being satisfied with their sexlives in the Trojan survey—below Atlanta's 73 percent (highest) bite 'tercet than Boston's 6o percent (lowest). Houston? Atlanta? Really? C'mon, Chicago— you can do it! And do it now, because folks are looking to get lucky this weekend, according to Trojan, which said condom sales traditionally boom over the 4th ofJuly weekend. As for fireworks in the bedroom, the people RedEye approached laughed and shook their heads in disbelief at the Chicago figures, particularly the frequency They expressed shock at how low the city's number is on the survey "That's kind of bogus," said Joseph Sorrell, 24,11410 lives on the West Side. "A lot of people are not having sex? What's the world coming to?" Sorrel, a student, claims he gets busy once a day and thinks others should too. "It's time for change," he said To Blake Young, 27, an average of 73 times a year seemed about right. 1 have kind of a low sex drive so I'm fine with twice a week," said Young, a bike messenger who lives in the West Loop. He said he's satisfied with that frequency as long as the sex is new and exciting.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION Think you know sex stats? Take RedEyes quiz and weigh in on Chicago's sex drive at redeyechIcagq.conVsex or tweet with the hashtag Onadeyetalk

Trojan's survey is just the latest to take a peek under America's sheets, and the findings can be added to a pile of competing numbers from other companies and magazines. But relationship experts told RedEye a number is just a number—and nothing to be insecure (or smug) about. The "right" amount of sex for a couple depends on the couple and how important sex is to their relationship, therapists said. Survey data doesn't paint a complete picture, they said, advising couples against focusing on frequency findings. Instead, couples should discuss how satisfied they both are with the sex they're having.

Ilva Rosson, 23, of Lakeview, said he's "per fectly satisfied" with his sex life. "We arc newlyweds so it might be unique," he said, adding with a laugh: "I might have a different answer „ in decade." ,

WHAT'RE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

Lauren Carney, 21, said she doesn't compare herself against survey data such as Trojan's. "I've always felt that you can make numbers and stats say anything you want," said Carney; a student who lives in St. Charles. Trojan conducted its survey online, collecting data from r,000 respondents r8 and older across the U.S. In addition, t5o surveys were conducted among adults in each of the to largest U.S. cities, including Chicago. The margin of error on Trojan's statistics is 8 percent. Trojan isn't the only condom maker spewing . <' ,

The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, conducted online in zoo6, found that Americans have sex 85 times a year on average (global average: 103 times). But only 48 percent of Americans said they were fully satisfied with their sex lives in the Durex survey; which quizzed more than z6,000 people t6 years and older in 26 countries. Stats bombard people even at the magazine rack. Chicago magazine's July issue, reported that 16.4 percent of Chicago-area residents 18 and older have sex in an average 24-hour PF:410.

25

JULY 2, 2009 I REDEYE

Let's get it on We asked RedEye's Twitter followers a very personal question: What day of the week do you have sex the most? We got some really creative answers. Let RedEye put you in the mood every day at

hyMer.com/redeye dicago. COMPILED BY SCOTT REMMERS,

@annapulley thursdays. after 30 rock (my world))

@David Jellez I would have to say mondays but not during football season

@thewayoftheld Wednesdays, which means I should be getting laid about three hours from now. Sweet!

@tangokjewelry any day the kids are in bed early. -)

@Jany_Julce Sunday morning, about 430 am, just after the bars close and no more liquor is left to be poured! (That classy enuf for ya?)

crickit

txtable YOUR DAY OR MINE?

Still, Trojan's rankings for Chicago had some locals ready to get, er, take action. After all, the survey did note that 6z percent of Americans wish they were having more sex. Ty ler Worrell, 27, of Wicker Park, said he'd like to find a steady girlfriend to raise Chicago's frequency rate. He said he falls in line with the number from Trojan's survey, but added that he isn't happy about it. "The average is totally unsatisfactory" he said "It should be double or triple." NEWS SERVICES

I think! disagree (with the numbed but Pm also In the theater world, so Pm surrounded by different people. [The number, is higher In my group of peers because we've surrounded ourselves with openminded people. Very confident people."

AND REDEYE'S LEONOR MANGO, MELANIE KUCERA AND DEREK

ELLEN DOMONKOS 27, of Uptown, reacting to new survey data that says Chicagoans have sex 73 times a year on average

WAINER COMMUTED.

On what day of the week do you

have sex the most? Text "sex" and the number of your answer to 87708. You'll get the poll results instantly. 1.Sunday 2. Monday 3.Tuesday 4. Wednesday 5.Thursday 6. Friday 7.Saturday

Tune into partner's frequency By Lawlor Vivanco REDEYE

Couples often ask whether their sex lives are normal, said Richard Carroll, director of the Sex and Marital Therapy Program at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. ills answer: There's no one rate of sexual frequency that fits all couples, Frequency of sex tells only how often people are doing it, said Joy Davidson, author of "Fearless Sex." It doesn't provide insight into a relationship or what the people involved in it really want. And frequency isn't all that matters, DaLielson said, noting that people can have frequently bad sex. Don't obsess over the idea that everyone is getting some all of the time—movies and TV shows plant that seed, but sex experts warn against buying into it. "The dilemma is people have a lot of unrealistic expectations about sex," Carroll said. "People have a lot of myths about sex, and certainly the media presents a distorted view of sex. I think all of that can breed feelings of insecurity and inadequacy" What matters most is that couples be upfront about what they want, therapists said. It's up to couples to decide if they're having enough sex and how important sex is to the relationship. Sex itself doesn't always equal happiness. Frequency can decline over the course, .nf a relationship. Things can start hot and heavy and taper off as the relationship matures, but that doesn't necessarily signal a problem, Carroll said However, a sudden or dramatic drop-off in sex frequency can be a red flag for other problems, including stress, depression, emotional difficulties and sexual dysfunction, he said. If one partner is dissatisfied or wants sex more than the other, he or she should talk about it—but remember to keep things positive and open, therapists said When one partner feels there's a drop in frequency, it can trigger insecurities about the love or level of attraction in the relationship, Carroll said, insecurities that cause people to react angrily rather than talk it out. The resulting resentment or guilt can be an added barrier to having more sex. "The alternative is to bring it up at a time and place where both people are in a good state of mind, ready and able to talk about the issue without anger and blame and each person being able to express what it is they want," he said. LYIYANCOSPIRIRIDIUMM