Seeing The Woman Before Marriage

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lower their gaze - this actually implies that they should not seductively stare at the female members and should keep their gaze clear of all indecency. wear a decent dress that adequately covers their private parts. female members should: lower their gaze. wear a decent dress that adequately covers their private parts. avoid provocatively displaying their apparels and adornments or bringing to attention their hidden apparels and adornments. this directive does not apply to such apparels or adornments, which are normally visible - for instance any ring that a woman may be wearing. spread their head-coverings over their bosoms, as a part of refraining from displaying their apparels and adornments. while walking, they should not stamp their feet on the floor in an attempt to catch others' attention by the sound of any apparels, which they may be wearing on their ankles. as should be quite obvious, these directives are for the expression, inculcation and development of the value of hayaa[1] in the individual. keeping this ultimate spirit of these directives in perspective, we may conclude that neither a man nor a woman should unnecessarily and provocatively expose any part of his/her body. in this case, as in many other cases, the qur'an has given the minimum standard, which must be followed under all circumstances. on the other hand, one of the sayings ascribed to the prophet (pbuh) in which he is reported to have advised asma (ra) about her dress, gives us an excellent idea of the prophet (pbuh)'s teachings in this respect. the basic idea of the prophet (pbuh)'s advice was that when a woman truly abides by the value of hayaa she would completely avoid exposing even a slightest part of her body to catch the eyes of any member of the opposite sex. thus, such a woman would keep all parts of her body, except her face and the palms of her hands, covered. the emphasis here, it must be remembered, is on exposing any part of one's body with the intention of attracting a member of the opposite sex. this advice is neither a part of the islamic law, nor does it hinder a woman from exposing any part of her body for any other purpose, for instance tucking up her sleeves while working, or exposing any part of her body while getting a medical check-up. furthermore, if seen in the correct perspective, we shall see that although this advice was addressed to a woman, yet the basic spirit of this advice does not allow us to restrict it to women only. a person may look at his prospective bride keeping the above directives in perspective. as far as the question whether you should remove your scarf for the purpose, the answer would depend on the nature of the scarf. if it covers your face, there is no harm in removing it (from the face). however, if it is a head cover, then it would seem more prudent and more in keeping with the directives of the shari`ah to avoid removing it. 24th february 2000

[1] hayaa is one of the basic values that islam wants to inculcate among its adherents - for the ultimate purpose of cleansing their minds, bodies and soul, for success in the hereafter. due to a lack of an accurate synonymous in the english language, i have used the arabic word, which, over here, implies 'the suppression of sexual interaction with the prescribed limit and the avoidance of instigating sexual attraction or being instigated by a sexual attraction beyond this limit'. members login password understanding islam introduction brief history the team contributing writers top muslim sites comments/feedback report errors sponsorship sought copyright (c) 1999-2007 understanding islam, all rights reserved.